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1
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,620
Help me.
2
00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:26,460
As the sun rose over
the Island of Cheese, -
3
00:03:26,630 --> 00:03:29,970
- casting long shadows
through the sausage bushes, -
4
00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:33,260
- illuminating the tops
of the honey trees -
5
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:37,180
- and warming the fields
of smoked salmon, -
6
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:42,430
- I Baron Munchausen,
who am world renowned -
7
00:03:42,610 --> 00:03:47,820
- for telling the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth...
8
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,200
- Tighter!
- Hold steady.
9
00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:03,960
How can you become a great
actress if you get blown to pieces?
10
00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:07,710
...in my native land...
11
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,720
...there to attempt the education -
12
00:04:13,890 --> 00:04:20,340
- of my provincial, narrow-minded,
and incredulous countrymen.
13
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:24,380
We heaved anchor and set sail.
14
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,950
We heaved anchor and set sail!
15
00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:40,200
Waves! The waves!
16
00:04:40,370 --> 00:04:42,660
Oh bugger!
17
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:46,830
We are actors!
Where the devil are the stagehands?
18
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,130
- Dead!
- All of them?
19
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:54,760
Suicide.
Nothing to do with your acting.
20
00:04:58,550 --> 00:05:03,800
Ill luck pursued me. I was blown
towards the jaws of a whale -
21
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:07,640
- of such prodigious size
and length -
22
00:05:07,810 --> 00:05:15,690
- that even with my telescope
I could not see the end of him.
23
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,990
What will become of the baron?
24
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,330
Surely this time there is no escape.
25
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:44,390
At a time like this, a modicum
of snuff can be most efficacious.
26
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:06,410
Hell's bells and buckets of blood!
27
00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:12,450
Where were the waves?
The waves!
28
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:15,710
You incompetent imbecile!
29
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:21,920
- It wasn't me. It was her!
- It wasn't me! It was him!
30
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:29,590
We are supposed to be professionals
and we're trying to stay alive.
31
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,890
Sally!
32
00:06:35,350 --> 00:06:37,730
Stay in here.
33
00:06:37,890 --> 00:06:41,940
- Where's my brother?
- You haven't got a brother.
34
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:47,780
Then you just tell me
why it says "Henry Salt & Son".
35
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:53,740
I shouldn't have taught you to read.
It's traditional. That's how it is.
36
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:15,350
No. The Sultan's demands
are still not sufficiently rational.
37
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:19,050
The only lasting peace
is one based on reason.
38
00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,890
I'm sorry, Mr. Jackson.
39
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:27,050
The first act didn't go so well.
One or two technical problems.
40
00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:32,940
Don't apologise, Mr. Salt.
These are very trying circumstances.
41
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,120
Excuse me.
42
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:43,240
The officer who risked his life
by destroying...
43
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:50,210
...six enemy cannon and rescuing
ten men held captive by the Turk.
44
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:54,380
- We've heard so much about you.
- I suppose so, sir.
45
00:07:54,550 --> 00:08:00,010
- Always taking excessive risks.
- I only did my best, sir.
46
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:04,970
- Have him executed at once.
- Yes, sir.
47
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:09,480
Such behaviour is demoralizing
for ordinary soldiers.
48
00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:13,480
They're trying to lead
simple, unexceptional lives.
49
00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:17,570
Things are difficult enough without
emotional people rocking the boat.
50
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,130
Constantinople!
51
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:49,600
The court of the Grand Turk.
What a surprise -
52
00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:53,940
- that a passing zephyr
should waft me here.
53
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:58,930
Perhaps I should teach
the Sultan a lesson or two.
54
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:06,490
His Highness the Sultan
loved a good wine -
55
00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:13,580
- and could never resist a wager.
Characteristics that cost him dear.
56
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:19,210
Lies! Lies! You scoundrels.
I won't put up with this!
57
00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:22,420
Stop this travesty!
58
00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:28,510
It's an insult. I've never seen
so much rubbish in all my life.
59
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:31,810
You don't know what you're saying.
60
00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:38,850
- After a sumptuous dinner...
- Is this supposed to happen?
61
00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:43,190
Please leave the stage.
62
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:49,030
This blackguard's an impostor!
I am the Baron Munchausen!
63
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:55,910
- We are presenting a performance.
- You're presenting a mockery!
64
00:09:56,080 --> 00:10:02,920
You present me as if I were
a ridiculous fiction, a joke!
65
00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:11,010
What the devil's going on?
66
00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:21,140
Curtain!
67
00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:26,890
Get off!
68
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,940
You're ruining the show!
69
00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:34,060
Do something.
I must talk with my audience.
70
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,530
Ladies and gentlemen...
71
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:44,870
I must apologise for this dreadful
occurrence. I can assure you...
72
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,380
- Hello.
- Hello.
73
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:56,590
Beautiful ladies.
74
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:02,140
- Hello.
- Beautiful ladies.
75
00:11:02,310 --> 00:11:08,650
- You have great taste, sir.
- Otherwise, it's all quite wrong.
76
00:11:08,810 --> 00:11:14,320
- Listen, we've got a show to do...
- Good Lord! Berthold!
77
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,570
Who's Berthold?
78
00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:21,980
How on earth...?
It's marvellous to see you.
79
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,370
How are your legs?
80
00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:29,400
Where are the others? Albrecht!
81
00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:36,500
Adolphus! Gustavus! I can't
believe it. This is miraculous.
82
00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:43,680
- I'm Bill.
- Is he still here? Get rid of him.
83
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:49,520
- What is the matter?
- We'll start the second act afresh.
84
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:53,630
- Who is this?
- Some old lunatic.
85
00:11:53,810 --> 00:12:01,280
- He is Baron Munchausen.
- The real Baron Munchausen.
86
00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:08,580
Yes, indeed.
Who, sir, may I ask, are you?
87
00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:14,410
A public servant. I am responsible
for the licensing of this theatre.
88
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:19,210
This is the Right Ordinary
Horatio Jackson.
89
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:23,380
He happens to be winning the war
and saving the city.
90
00:12:23,550 --> 00:12:25,630
Please leave us!
91
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:32,220
He's an ass!
Only I can end this war.
92
00:12:32,390 --> 00:12:37,520
I can end it because I began it.
I am the cause.
93
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:42,900
I'm afraid, sir, you have
rather a weak grasp of reality.
94
00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:47,890
Your reality, sir,
is lies and balderdash.
95
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:53,870
I am delighted to say
I have no grasp of it whatsoever!
96
00:13:00,540 --> 00:13:04,750
- This man needs a doctor.
- A doctor?
97
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,970
We will continue with the show.
Thank you, Your Ordinariness.
98
00:13:11,130 --> 00:13:14,920
Right, off.
Please, be reasonable.
99
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:22,270
If we don't get on with it,
he will throw us to the Turks.
100
00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:35,490
My Lords, ladies and gentlemen,
Baron Munchausen at your service.
101
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:38,870
Found any noses recently?
102
00:13:39,030 --> 00:13:42,200
Give us a song!
103
00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:46,070
Most of you won't remember me
or my adventures.
104
00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:51,670
But I assure you, they are true.
105
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:57,300
The truth is,
I am the cause of this siege.
106
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,890
- What about the Turks then?
- This is a border dispute.
107
00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:07,100
- We're fighting for sea routes.
- That was last time.
108
00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:10,890
You poor, deluded fools.
109
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:16,610
If you'll do me the courtesy of
accepting the word of a gentleman, -
110
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:24,240
- I will reveal
the true cause of this war.
111
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,780
After my... Oh, dear...
112
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,750
After my return from Egypt -
113
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:38,340
- I was most warmly welcomed
by the Grand Turk.
114
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,830
His Highness the Sultan.
115
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:47,930
He knew of my reputation
and held me in high esteem.
116
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:51,630
He was so delighted
with my company -
117
00:14:51,810 --> 00:14:56,360
- that he offered me access
to his harem.
118
00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:03,700
One day, he brought me a bottle
of his favourite Tokay.
119
00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:35,850
- What do you think of that?
- Not bad.
120
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:40,400
My dear Munchausen,
it's impossible to find better.
121
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,400
Humbug!
122
00:15:43,570 --> 00:15:49,770
I can procure for you, within the
hour, a Tokay far superior to this -
123
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:55,950
- from the imperial cellar in
Vienna, a mere 1,000 miles away.
124
00:15:56,120 --> 00:16:01,960
Accept my challenge! If I don't
succeed, you may cut off my head.
125
00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:05,420
- What are your stakes?
- I accept.
126
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:11,630
I wager as much treasure
as the strongest man can carry.
127
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:17,560
Agreed! Give me pen and ink
and I'll write to the Empress.
128
00:16:23,230 --> 00:16:27,320
Berthold!
129
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:35,700
Coming!
Blast! Sorry chaps, I've got to go.
130
00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:00,140
Take this to Vienna,
to the Empress.
131
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:06,590
She will give you a bottle of wine.
Bring it straight to me.
132
00:17:53,730 --> 00:17:58,560
Would you care for a little light
entertainment while you wait?
133
00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:16,210
I composed a short opera. Would you
like to hear it? You'll love it.
134
00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:22,210
It's a comedy. It's called
"The Torturer's Apprentice".
135
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,460
Here's the overture.
136
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,570
The curtain...
137
00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:52,990
The curtain rises
on a typical torture chamber.
138
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:58,070
Yosrick, the young apprentice,
sings of his joy in his job.
139
00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:04,130
A torturer's apprentice went
his merry way to work one day
140
00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:07,460
I bend and stretch
and ply my trade
141
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:10,260
making people all afraid
142
00:19:10,430 --> 00:19:16,310
but business is slack
there's no one on the rack but me.
143
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:25,110
Act four is set in an abattoir...
I see a lot of slapstick.
144
00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:30,240
We begin with the eunuch's chorus:
Cut off in my prime.
145
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,320
M�ein Herz, mein Herz.
146
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:42,080
Cut off in my prime
surrounded by beautiful women
147
00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:50,550
a eunuch's life is hard...
148
00:20:01,970 --> 00:20:08,560
- Excuse me a moment.
- You won't want to miss this aria.
149
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:19,650
Life is rather like a game
150
00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:23,440
it's important that you win...
151
00:20:41,260 --> 00:20:43,590
Don't know.
152
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:50,380
If he's not here in 3� minutes,
the Sultan will cut off my head.
153
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,100
Is that all?
154
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:56,650
Sorry, I don't find that funny.
Do you?
155
00:20:56,820 --> 00:21:01,950
- This isn't a joke, it's a wager.
- A wager?
156
00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:07,020
He's asleep. I can hear him snoring,
about 900 miles away.
157
00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:19,200
He's under a tree. Near Belgrade.
158
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:24,260
- There's a bottle beside him.
- I hope he hasn't been at it.
159
00:21:24,430 --> 00:21:30,800
- What's the wind speed, Gus?
- Three knots.
160
00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:04,490
I'm a modern man
these days I find
161
00:22:04,670 --> 00:22:07,880
you have to be awfully cruel
to be kind
162
00:22:08,050 --> 00:22:13,010
l'm a modern man
you will agree...
163
00:22:13,180 --> 00:22:16,800
... it's either you or me.
164
00:22:19,930 --> 00:22:23,890
Time's nearly up, I think.
165
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:40,200
Ready...
166
00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:51,840
Now!
167
00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:11,070
- Not late, am I?
- No, not late, thank you very much.
168
00:23:13,570 --> 00:23:17,270
Thanks, I needed a trim.
169
00:23:18,950 --> 00:23:23,620
- Much obliged.
- From the Empress.
170
00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:42,250
Delicious. You win.
171
00:23:42,430 --> 00:23:49,600
Treasurer, take from the treasury as
much as the strongest man can carry.
172
00:24:18,630 --> 00:24:21,760
Yep, that's it!
173
00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:00,570
Thanks, squire.
174
00:25:24,770 --> 00:25:29,740
- What is it?
- They've taken everything.
175
00:25:56,550 --> 00:26:01,380
- Gustavus.
- Stop them!
176
00:26:13,070 --> 00:26:19,070
- Bring them back!
- Gustavus! Again!
177
00:26:29,670 --> 00:26:31,750
Fire!
178
00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:41,080
Take cover, my friends!
179
00:26:44,430 --> 00:26:47,640
Regroup!
180
00:27:01,570 --> 00:27:07,620
And so, as you can see,
the Sultan is still after my head.
181
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:19,340
Wait! Stop! Don't go.
Come back, there's more.
182
00:27:20,420 --> 00:27:24,590
I haven't finished! Don't leave now.
183
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,520
Gustavus, Adolphus, Albrecht!
184
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:37,100
We're about to make off
with the Sultan's treasure.
185
00:27:37,270 --> 00:27:40,440
- Berthold!
- The name's Desmond!
186
00:27:40,610 --> 00:27:46,400
We're actors, not figments
of your imagination. Get a grip.
187
00:27:46,570 --> 00:27:52,160
Come back!
Come back!
188
00:27:54,660 --> 00:27:59,080
What is the Sultan playing at?
It's Wednesday, isn't it?
189
00:27:59,250 --> 00:28:02,590
I'm terribly sorry
about the show...
190
00:28:02,750 --> 00:28:08,960
This theatre is closed. You and
your company must leave the city.
191
00:28:09,130 --> 00:28:12,260
But look at these endorsements.
192
00:28:12,430 --> 00:28:16,430
"Mr. Salt's company holds a mirror
up to nature." Vienna Clarion.
193
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:22,020
"Great value." Paris Echo.
"A good night out." Glasgow Herald.
194
00:28:37,620 --> 00:28:42,670
Good boy... it's all right.
195
00:28:44,670 --> 00:28:48,120
Here boy.
196
00:30:13,710 --> 00:30:17,380
Are you all right?
197
00:30:24,260 --> 00:30:28,300
- Am I dead?
- No.
198
00:30:28,470 --> 00:30:34,810
- Blast!
- Who are you really?
199
00:30:34,980 --> 00:30:38,760
Baron Munchausen isn't real.
He's only in stories.
200
00:30:38,940 --> 00:30:43,690
- Go away! I'm trying to die.
- Why?
201
00:30:43,860 --> 00:30:48,570
Because I'm tired of the world.
202
00:30:48,740 --> 00:30:55,250
- And the world is tired of me.
- But why? Why?
203
00:30:55,410 --> 00:30:58,370
Why? Why? Why?
204
00:30:58,540 --> 00:31:03,750
Because it's all logic
and reason now.
205
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:07,790
Science. Progress.
206
00:31:09,050 --> 00:31:14,560
Laws of hydraulics.
Laws of social dynamics.
207
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,980
Laws of this, that and the other.
208
00:31:19,140 --> 00:31:26,110
No place for a three-legged Cyclops
from the South Seas.
209
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:33,570
No place for cucumber trees
and oceans of wine.
210
00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:35,950
No place for me!
211
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,910
What happened in the story?
212
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,950
In the Sultan's palace.
Did you escape? Were you killed?
213
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:47,950
I don't know.
It was all a long time ago.
214
00:31:48,130 --> 00:31:51,660
- Who cares?
- I do.
215
00:31:53,340 --> 00:31:56,680
I'm very tired...
216
00:31:56,850 --> 00:32:00,890
- Goodbye.
- Please tell me.
217
00:32:01,060 --> 00:32:06,190
- Go on.
- Buzz off!
218
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:16,110
- Please.
- You really want to know?
219
00:32:19,620 --> 00:32:21,770
Stop it!
220
00:32:21,950 --> 00:32:26,500
Stop it! We'll all be killed!
221
00:32:26,660 --> 00:32:30,200
Then we'll never know
the end of the story.
222
00:32:30,380 --> 00:32:34,420
Where are you going? Come back!
223
00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:38,340
Stop it!
224
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:44,600
Wait! Come back! Take cover!
225
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,940
Wretched child!
226
00:33:29,970 --> 00:33:33,760
Stop it!
227
00:33:35,310 --> 00:33:38,520
Get away! Stop it!
228
00:33:38,690 --> 00:33:40,930
Head down!
229
00:33:42,900 --> 00:33:47,110
- You'll get us both killed.
- I thought you wanted to die.
230
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,450
Yes, but I'm old enough.
231
00:33:50,620 --> 00:33:56,580
Gentlemen, don't you think you
should silence those enemy cannon?
232
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,460
- No, sir.
- No?
233
00:34:01,630 --> 00:34:06,760
- It's Wednesday.
- Wednesday!
234
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:39,210
The Turks
are about to storm the walls.
235
00:35:39,390 --> 00:35:45,060
You really are Baron Munchausen.
236
00:35:57,650 --> 00:36:01,820
This is the end. It's all over.
237
00:36:01,990 --> 00:36:08,830
Generations of theatrical expertise
snuffed out.
238
00:36:10,620 --> 00:36:13,170
Sally?
239
00:36:13,330 --> 00:36:16,630
Get off!
240
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:23,210
Sally, come here.
You cretinous, senile old fart!
241
00:36:25,140 --> 00:36:29,090
Thanks to you,
we're to be thrown to the Turks.
242
00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:33,980
But he is Baron Munchausen.
The real one!
243
00:36:34,140 --> 00:36:37,270
- You must believe me.
- Hurry!
244
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:41,190
Honestly! He is.
245
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:46,570
- Shut up!
- But he is... and he can save us.
246
00:36:46,740 --> 00:36:52,450
Can't you? He jumped onto
a cannon ball. He really did.
247
00:36:52,620 --> 00:36:58,000
He flew miles into the sky above
the elephants and soldiers.
248
00:36:58,170 --> 00:37:02,920
- Stop lying!
- I'm not lying! Am I?
249
00:37:03,090 --> 00:37:08,080
- As a matter of fact, you are.
- But he did!
250
00:37:09,590 --> 00:37:14,500
The soldiers saw him, too.
They'll tell you.
251
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,350
Oh, they're dead.
252
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:22,190
- But he did!
- No, I didn't.
253
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:27,270
- Now you're lying.
- I never lie.
254
00:37:32,910 --> 00:37:37,080
Sally, stay here.
What's got into you?
255
00:37:40,830 --> 00:37:44,920
I didn't fly miles.
256
00:37:45,090 --> 00:37:50,420
It was more like a mile and a half.
And I didn't precisely fly.
257
00:37:50,590 --> 00:37:55,390
I merely held onto a mortar shell
in the first instance -
258
00:37:55,550 --> 00:37:58,970
- and then a cannon ball
on the way back.
259
00:37:59,140 --> 00:38:02,390
You maniac! You've done for us.
260
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:08,060
It doesn't matter now, the Turks
are about to take the town.
261
00:38:14,110 --> 00:38:20,530
I was just coming into my prime,
between Romeo and King Lear.
262
00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:25,500
My public will kill me
for dying at a time like this.
263
00:38:25,660 --> 00:38:29,750
Save us!
264
00:38:30,630 --> 00:38:34,580
Don't disappoint me.
265
00:38:35,380 --> 00:38:39,930
- You are a baron, aren't you?
- You're our only hope.
266
00:38:40,090 --> 00:38:46,890
- You are my only hope.
- Ladies, please...
267
00:38:47,810 --> 00:38:50,100
As long as I, -
268
00:38:50,270 --> 00:38:54,980
- Heronomous Carl Frederick
Baron von Munchausen, -
269
00:38:55,150 --> 00:38:59,400
- live and breathe,
you shall come to no harm.
270
00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:05,080
You so remind me
of Catherine the Great, -
271
00:39:05,240 --> 00:39:08,500
- whose hand in marriage
I once declined.
272
00:39:08,660 --> 00:39:11,210
They all remind you?
273
00:39:11,370 --> 00:39:16,670
Yes, why not?
Bits here and bits there.
274
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:22,930
I have a plan!
I will set forth immediately...
275
00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:29,600
...and find my
extraordinary servants.
276
00:39:29,770 --> 00:39:34,590
With their help, I'll raise
the siege and save the town.
277
00:39:34,770 --> 00:39:38,640
- Brilliant, very good, bravo!
- How?
278
00:39:38,820 --> 00:39:44,200
- I shall require your assistance.
- Of course.
279
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:51,240
- Just tell us what to do.
- Kindly remove your knickers.
280
00:40:25,610 --> 00:40:27,900
Look at all that underwear.
281
00:40:28,070 --> 00:40:32,240
Isn't it beautiful?
It's like a dream come true.
282
00:40:32,990 --> 00:40:38,910
It's the dawning of the age
of lovely, intimate things.
283
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,570
He'll kill himself.
284
00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:48,290
- Yeah, but it'd be well worth it.
- Enough nattering. Keep pumping.
285
00:41:04,350 --> 00:41:07,690
- Better report this.
- You're right.
286
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:28,540
No... We need a very simple plan.
These are far too complicated.
287
00:41:28,710 --> 00:41:34,130
The actors have an air balloon.
They're trying to escape.
288
00:41:35,300 --> 00:41:38,340
Arrest them at once.
289
00:41:38,510 --> 00:41:43,850
- Throw them out of the town.
- We can't open the gates, sir.
290
00:41:44,020 --> 00:41:48,310
- Throw them over the walls then.
- Yes, sir.
291
00:41:49,270 --> 00:41:54,650
Escaping, really! What would
future generations think of us?
292
00:42:02,740 --> 00:42:05,870
Right, follow me.
293
00:42:38,900 --> 00:42:42,820
Bring the ladder over here.
294
00:42:47,780 --> 00:42:50,870
Baron!
295
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:55,120
- Have you seen Sally?
- No!
296
00:42:57,170 --> 00:43:01,000
- Thank you, my dear.
- Stop! You're under arrest!
297
00:43:01,170 --> 00:43:04,010
Let go! Let go!
298
00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:17,770
Take aim... Fire!
299
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:30,320
I shall return with reinforcements.
Don't lose heart.
300
00:43:30,490 --> 00:43:37,830
For all those ladies to whom I'm
indebted for half a ton of linen:
301
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,080
Don't catch cold! Au revoir.
302
00:43:42,830 --> 00:43:48,760
- Stay, Argus! I'll soon be back.
- I will wait for you!
303
00:43:51,430 --> 00:43:53,800
Come back soon.
304
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:07,020
He won't get far
on hot air and fantasy.
305
00:44:19,660 --> 00:44:22,580
Blast!
306
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,660
Hang on!
307
00:44:38,390 --> 00:44:41,970
- Thanks.
- Now you've ruined everything.
308
00:44:42,140 --> 00:44:47,690
I'll have to douse the fires
and let you down.
309
00:44:47,850 --> 00:44:53,190
- I'm going with you.
- I absolutely and utterly refuse!
310
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:57,310
If we go down now,
we'll land on the church.
311
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:05,540
- We've got to find your servants.
- That is what I had in mind.
312
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,250
- Where are we going?
- To the moon.
313
00:46:39,410 --> 00:46:42,540
What? That'll take ages.
314
00:46:42,710 --> 00:46:46,750
- No, it won't.
- Of course it will.
315
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:52,800
- Why are we going there?
- That's where I last saw Berthold.
316
00:46:52,970 --> 00:46:56,560
- Have you ever been to the moon?
- No.
317
00:46:56,720 --> 00:47:02,100
Interesting place.
The King and Queen are charming.
318
00:47:02,270 --> 00:47:08,110
You know about
their detachable heads, don't you?
319
00:47:08,270 --> 00:47:16,570
Their heads engage in intellectual
pursuits away from the body.
320
00:47:16,740 --> 00:47:23,790
The trouble is, heads and bodies
don't always see eye to eye.
321
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:32,340
- You do believe me, don't you?
- I'm doing my best.
322
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,560
Are you scared?
323
00:47:51,730 --> 00:47:55,150
Certainly not.
324
00:47:56,240 --> 00:48:00,320
- Are you?
- Certainly not.
325
00:48:22,720 --> 00:48:25,810
Grab the rope!
326
00:49:39,330 --> 00:49:42,670
We're here.
327
00:49:43,170 --> 00:49:46,700
You look different. Younger.
328
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:50,630
I always feel rejuvenated
by a touch of adventure.
329
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:57,720
Don't you get any younger,
or we'll have to find a wet nurse.
330
00:50:07,230 --> 00:50:11,950
You'll find that I'm one of
the King's special favourites.
331
00:50:12,110 --> 00:50:15,810
We shall receive a royal welcome.
332
00:50:54,900 --> 00:50:57,480
Now what?
333
00:50:58,860 --> 00:51:02,120
I've got you, at last.
334
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,540
- Bienvenuto alla luna.
- Your Majesty!
335
00:51:05,700 --> 00:51:09,080
What a great pleasure
to see you again.
336
00:51:09,250 --> 00:51:16,050
May I introduce my friend Sally.
Sally, King of the Moon.
337
00:51:16,210 --> 00:51:23,710
My full title is King of Everything.
Re di tutto. You can call me Ray.
338
00:51:23,890 --> 00:51:30,340
The moon is an insignificant part
of my domain. There's much more.
339
00:51:32,060 --> 00:51:36,650
You seem to be in some discomfort.
What ails you?
340
00:51:36,820 --> 00:51:41,860
Nothing ails me. Can you not see
that I am at one with the cosmos?
341
00:51:43,570 --> 00:51:50,500
Is that all you can say?
What are you, blind?
342
00:51:50,660 --> 00:51:54,830
Let me explain it:
Since you were last here, my head, -
343
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,530
- where the brilliant parts
are located, -
344
00:51:58,710 --> 00:52:01,960
- is now ruling the known universe.
345
00:52:02,130 --> 00:52:06,180
And what I don't know, I create.
346
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:14,930
I just created spring. Seriously,
without me there would be nothing.
347
00:52:15,100 --> 00:52:20,180
"Cogito ergo es."
I think, therefore you is.
348
00:52:20,900 --> 00:52:23,280
He's a lunatic.
349
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:28,950
So it seems. He's certainly fallen
prey to delusions of grandeur.
350
00:52:29,110 --> 00:52:32,730
Keeping in tune
with the whole universe -
351
00:52:32,910 --> 00:52:35,700
- requires much concentration.
352
00:52:35,870 --> 00:52:39,170
So having you on the loose
does not help.
353
00:52:39,330 --> 00:52:43,250
Your stories distract me.
354
00:52:43,420 --> 00:52:46,590
You are like a mosquito
in the Taj Mahal.
355
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:52,800
My Liege, without my adventures,
you wouldn't be here.
356
00:52:52,970 --> 00:52:58,020
Well, so I am now
part of your adventures?
357
00:52:58,180 --> 00:53:01,520
We shall see about that.
358
00:53:18,410 --> 00:53:23,750
Now, who created who?
I hope you'll be comfortable. Ciao!
359
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:28,170
There's my revolting body
with the Queen!
360
00:53:28,340 --> 00:53:31,870
Stop it! I'm tired.
361
00:53:32,050 --> 00:53:35,500
Go away!
Damn it, he can't hear me.
362
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:39,100
You stinking, horrible man!
363
00:53:39,260 --> 00:53:43,850
It's so embarrassing.
Don't look, maybe he'll go away.
364
00:53:44,020 --> 00:53:48,270
Imagine we were once attached.
We're totally incompatible.
365
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:52,940
He's dangling from the food chain
and I am in the stars.
366
00:53:53,110 --> 00:53:58,860
No, go away,
I despise you!
367
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,540
I'm back!
I got lips again.
368
00:54:14,710 --> 00:54:21,250
And I'm gonna use them, baby.
It's me, I'm your elephant of joy!
369
00:54:24,510 --> 00:54:29,760
- Let me kiss you, baby.
- Eat first, darling.
370
00:54:29,930 --> 00:54:34,150
That's right!
First eat then kiss!
371
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:38,650
I need this stuff.
372
00:54:39,900 --> 00:54:43,850
You can't do that
when you don't got no mouth.
373
00:54:44,620 --> 00:54:47,950
I'm back in business.
374
00:54:49,740 --> 00:54:52,790
You don't go nowhere.
375
00:54:57,630 --> 00:55:02,090
- Baron!
- Your most Wondrous Majesty!
376
00:55:02,260 --> 00:55:04,550
I know you.
377
00:55:04,720 --> 00:55:09,510
You're the little guy that tried
to make off with my queen.
378
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:13,850
No more of that, piccolo Casanova.
379
00:55:14,020 --> 00:55:17,440
What are you looking at?
380
00:55:21,820 --> 00:55:28,270
Here you go, lovebirds!
I'm sure you'll be uncomfortable.
381
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:44,200
Free again,
to concentrate on higher things.
382
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:51,890
Crawl back in the slime.
Missed me!
383
00:55:52,050 --> 00:55:57,020
I'm blind!
My kingdom for a handkerchief!
384
00:55:57,180 --> 00:56:05,360
No, let me go! I haven't time
for flatulence and orgasms.
385
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:08,860
Please, no more bodily functions.
386
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,870
Farewell, Baron.
387
00:56:27,750 --> 00:56:34,010
- "One of the King's favourites"?
- This cage isn't real.
388
00:56:34,180 --> 00:56:40,060
- It's part of the King's lunacy.
- It seems solid enough to me.
389
00:56:40,220 --> 00:56:46,100
I see we're in a
not very helpful frame of mind.
390
00:56:46,270 --> 00:56:49,440
The town is perfectly all right.
391
00:56:49,610 --> 00:56:54,030
- The assault is over. They're safe.
- How do you know?
392
00:56:54,190 --> 00:56:57,360
I just know.
393
00:57:06,540 --> 00:57:12,960
What the devil...
All right, I'm coming.
394
00:57:14,670 --> 00:57:18,010
Come out of there.
395
00:57:22,890 --> 00:57:26,470
- Come out of there.
- Ow! Stop that.
396
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:30,260
- Why did you do that?
- I thought you might be unfriendly.
397
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:34,980
Of course I am! You'd be unfriendly,
if I prodded you.
398
00:57:35,150 --> 00:57:38,530
Who are you?
399
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:45,070
- I can't remember.
- That'll be us, if we don't escape!
400
00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:50,290
- Why are you here?
- I'm a very wicked criminal.
401
00:57:50,450 --> 00:57:54,040
- What have you done?
- I can't remember.
402
00:57:54,210 --> 00:57:59,590
- How do you know you're wicked?
- Well, for one thing...
403
00:57:59,750 --> 00:58:03,880
l'm in here.
And for another...
404
00:58:04,050 --> 00:58:07,220
l've got these shackles on.
405
00:58:07,390 --> 00:58:10,180
Berthold!
406
00:58:10,350 --> 00:58:14,560
It's Berthold!
407
00:58:14,730 --> 00:58:17,440
It's me, the baron!
408
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:24,570
I knew I'd find you. You must come
back to Earth and fight the Sultan.
409
00:58:24,740 --> 00:58:27,740
You're Berthold, my old servant.
410
00:58:27,910 --> 00:58:32,160
The leg irons are to slow you down.
411
00:58:32,330 --> 00:58:36,000
- You're joking.
- You always wore them, remember?
412
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:42,130
- You're crackers!
- I'm Baron Munchausen.
413
00:58:42,290 --> 00:58:45,910
We're wasting time!
414
00:58:52,430 --> 00:58:57,140
- Darling Baron!
- Ariadne!
415
00:58:57,310 --> 00:59:01,400
I'm sorry
we couldn't speak before, -
416
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:05,350
- but Roger's so difficult.
417
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:09,030
Where exactly is Roger?
418
00:59:09,190 --> 00:59:13,410
In bed with my body, of course.
419
00:59:13,570 --> 00:59:17,020
Stop it! Stop it!
420
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:20,870
If he discovers
my head's with you...
421
00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:25,830
Quickly, climb into my hair.
422
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:30,380
Why's she making
those funny noises?
423
00:59:31,970 --> 00:59:38,470
Her body's with the King,
and he's...
424
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:42,220
...tickling her feet.
425
00:59:42,770 --> 00:59:47,590
- Berthold, you're coming with us.
- No chance!
426
00:59:47,770 --> 00:59:52,360
- Why not? Are you frightened?
- That's it!
427
00:59:52,530 --> 00:59:55,100
Come on, help me.
428
00:59:57,280 --> 01:00:00,950
Quickly, climb aboard.
429
01:00:04,330 --> 01:00:10,250
- Hold tight!
- I don't want to escape!
430
01:00:25,010 --> 01:00:31,730
I love this!
I'll tickle you till dawn, darling.
431
01:00:31,900 --> 01:00:35,150
I'll wipe everything away.
Tickly, tickly...
432
01:00:36,980 --> 01:00:42,570
I know you love this,
but you don't say anything.
433
01:00:42,740 --> 01:00:45,910
You're a pillow biter, that's it.
434
01:00:53,290 --> 01:00:58,800
Baron, I must get back to Roger
before he notices I'm headless.
435
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:04,930
- I quite understand.
- Darling, take me with you.
436
01:01:05,090 --> 01:01:09,350
- Back to Earth?
- Yes, oh yes!
437
01:01:11,100 --> 01:01:14,310
Without your body?
438
01:01:14,890 --> 01:01:20,610
- I thought you loved me for myself!
- I did... I mean, I do.
439
01:01:20,770 --> 01:01:23,990
- It's just...
- We have to go!
440
01:01:24,150 --> 01:01:29,490
I think you're right.
It's impossible.
441
01:01:29,660 --> 01:01:33,080
Take a lock of my hair.
442
01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:38,830
Just a lock, Cocky!
Not the whole carpet.
443
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:44,590
- I shall treasure it always.
- The King! I must go...
444
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:48,510
Au revoir, my dear baron.
445
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:58,180
Yes! I'm coming, Roger!
446
01:01:59,190 --> 01:02:03,400
I'm going to drive you to China.
Let it out!
447
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:06,400
My God! Where is your head?
448
01:02:06,570 --> 01:02:12,160
No wonder you're so quiet.
I'm too rough, I knocked it off.
449
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:15,660
I'll find it.
We'll play "Head and Seek".
450
01:02:15,830 --> 01:02:21,370
Oh, you play a trick?
Darling, come out!
451
01:02:21,540 --> 01:02:28,460
You're not here. Where are you?
You're with the baron.
452
01:02:28,630 --> 01:02:31,720
You are with that little man.
453
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:36,680
You told me size
makes no difference. You puttana!
454
01:02:36,850 --> 01:02:41,840
That's it! I'll find your baron,
and then I'll kill you.
455
01:02:47,730 --> 01:02:49,970
Faster!
456
01:02:50,150 --> 01:02:54,360
I'll make a baron brochette!
Sybil, andiamo!
457
01:03:00,490 --> 01:03:03,070
Faster!
458
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:06,580
We can't.
Berthold can hardly move.
459
01:03:06,750 --> 01:03:10,960
- Take his weights off.
- I have!
460
01:03:11,130 --> 01:03:18,380
- He's old. He can't run anymore.
- Nonsense, he's out of practice.
461
01:03:22,430 --> 01:03:25,810
Come on, Berthold.
462
01:03:27,390 --> 01:03:32,440
Look for him!
Nowhere to hide for you, Baron.
463
01:03:32,610 --> 01:03:36,980
What are you looking at?
Look down there!
464
01:03:38,490 --> 01:03:41,700
There he is, Sybil! Down there!
465
01:03:41,860 --> 01:03:45,240
I've got you now, Baron.
466
01:04:05,180 --> 01:04:09,680
There they are!
Are you hungry, my darling?
467
01:04:09,850 --> 01:04:12,260
You take the baron,
you the bald one, -
468
01:04:12,430 --> 01:04:18,190
- and you take the little girl,
because you're my favourite. Dinner!
469
01:04:22,990 --> 01:04:28,200
- You go this way, I'll go that way.
- You're the last of your species.
470
01:04:31,490 --> 01:04:34,450
No, don't split up on me now!
471
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:39,170
Mayday!
472
01:04:39,330 --> 01:04:41,910
We're going down!
473
01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:48,430
Sybil, don't desert me now.
474
01:05:00,270 --> 01:05:04,610
I'm free! I'm free at last.
The body is dead.
475
01:05:04,770 --> 01:05:10,400
The body's dead, long live the head.
It's finished, finito!
476
01:05:10,570 --> 01:05:17,660
I shall prove a head does not need
a body to survive. I am omnipotent!
477
01:05:17,830 --> 01:05:21,250
Oh no, I've got an itch!
478
01:05:32,970 --> 01:05:36,890
Well done, Sally.
479
01:05:37,430 --> 01:05:44,100
Baron Munchausen!
How great to see you!
480
01:05:44,270 --> 01:05:48,690
- Get off me!
- It's Berthold, your old servant.
481
01:05:48,860 --> 01:05:52,810
Yes, we've been through all that.
482
01:05:52,990 --> 01:05:56,110
- Where are we?
- On the moon.
483
01:05:56,280 --> 01:06:01,030
- Oh yeah? Same old baron, eh?
- Can we go now?
484
01:06:01,200 --> 01:06:04,040
Get weaving!
485
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:08,120
Hang on...
It's all coming back.
486
01:06:08,290 --> 01:06:14,660
I've been stuck here for 20 years.
Ever since you were last here.
487
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:18,010
You abandoned me here.
You swine!
488
01:06:18,180 --> 01:06:23,640
You went off with the Queen of Tarts
and left me to rot in a cage.
489
01:06:23,810 --> 01:06:31,850
Now you come back and expect me to
follow you to the ends of the Earth?
490
01:06:32,020 --> 01:06:34,820
Yes.
491
01:06:34,980 --> 01:06:38,030
Oh, all right.
492
01:06:55,340 --> 01:07:00,160
Berthold, do you know
where the rest of the gang are?
493
01:07:00,340 --> 01:07:02,880
Not a clue.
494
01:07:11,350 --> 01:07:15,850
This is the sort of thing
that no one ever believes.
495
01:07:16,650 --> 01:07:19,980
Right, Berthold...
496
01:07:23,150 --> 01:07:25,640
You go first, -
497
01:07:25,820 --> 01:07:29,200
- then Sally.
498
01:07:34,620 --> 01:07:37,330
Careful.
499
01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:43,460
Off you go.
500
01:07:54,180 --> 01:07:59,770
That's it! Finito.
There's no more rope.
501
01:07:59,940 --> 01:08:05,100
- I'm coming back up.
- Wait a moment.
502
01:08:05,270 --> 01:08:09,820
- Tie this to the end.
- Where did you get this?
503
01:08:09,990 --> 01:08:13,370
- I cut it from the top.
- From the top?
504
01:08:13,530 --> 01:08:18,530
Where else do you think I'd get it?
Yes, yes, yes...
505
01:08:18,700 --> 01:08:23,250
Splice it to the end
so we may continue our descent.
506
01:08:23,420 --> 01:08:28,800
Very clever! Great.
Why didn't I think of that?
507
01:08:28,960 --> 01:08:34,300
That's why he's a baron,
and I'm a prole.
508
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:40,300
We'll never rescue them now!
509
01:08:48,900 --> 01:08:51,190
2 � percent!
510
01:08:51,360 --> 01:08:55,200
- That's not enough.
- That's all I'm offering.
511
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:07,710
2 � percent!
Take it or leave it.
512
01:09:13,340 --> 01:09:17,430
We want more!
We want more!
513
01:09:25,220 --> 01:09:27,850
I'm still in one piece!
514
01:09:28,020 --> 01:09:31,800
- I think...
- I can't imagine why.
515
01:09:31,980 --> 01:09:36,230
Our descent into
the volcano of Mt. Etna -
516
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:41,480
- should have been slowed
by a rising cushion of warm air.
517
01:09:41,660 --> 01:09:44,740
The damn thing
seems to have gone out.
518
01:09:44,910 --> 01:09:48,500
Oh, no! Not more giants!
519
01:09:51,540 --> 01:09:55,330
Can I help you tiny mortals?
520
01:09:55,500 --> 01:10:00,260
I sincerely hope so.
I'm Baron Munchausen.
521
01:10:02,130 --> 01:10:06,550
You may have heard of me.
We're looking for three men.
522
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:11,880
One with exceptional eyesight,
one with superb hearing, -
523
01:10:12,060 --> 01:10:16,270
- and one who's
extremely large and strong.
524
01:10:16,980 --> 01:10:22,400
Oh, we're all
extremely large and strong here!
525
01:10:31,450 --> 01:10:36,250
I am Vulcan. The god.
526
01:10:36,420 --> 01:10:42,250
And these are my giant employees.
527
01:10:43,250 --> 01:10:49,180
The Cyclops. Who even now
are going back to work!
528
01:10:53,390 --> 01:10:59,140
I supply arms and equipment
to anyone who will pay the price.
529
01:10:59,310 --> 01:11:03,400
Greeks, Trojans, Romans, Huns...
530
01:11:03,570 --> 01:11:09,200
It's not my fault they're crazy
enough to slaughter each other.
531
01:11:09,360 --> 01:11:15,370
You manky crew! Your go-slows
don't impress me, I'm God!
532
01:11:15,530 --> 01:11:22,330
I have all the time in the universe.
Hear that? All the time, me!
533
01:11:22,500 --> 01:11:26,750
In the old days the staff got paid
every 1,000 years.
534
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:32,260
This lot expects it every century.
It's outrageous!
535
01:11:32,430 --> 01:11:37,100
- What's this?
- This is our prototype...
536
01:11:37,260 --> 01:11:41,100
RX intercontinental, -
537
01:11:41,270 --> 01:11:45,690
- radar-sneaky,
multi-warheaded, nuclear missile.
538
01:11:49,150 --> 01:11:51,990
What does it do?
539
01:11:52,150 --> 01:11:55,740
- It kills the enemy.
- All the enemy?
540
01:11:55,910 --> 01:12:03,160
All of them. All their wives,
children, sheep, cats and dogs...
541
01:12:03,330 --> 01:12:09,750
- All of them, gone for good.
- That's horrible!
542
01:12:12,250 --> 01:12:14,830
Well, you see...
543
01:12:15,010 --> 01:12:21,260
The advantage is, you don't have to
see one single one of them die.
544
01:12:21,430 --> 01:12:27,140
You just sit comfortably, thousands
of miles from the battlefield, -
545
01:12:27,310 --> 01:12:31,230
- and simply press the button.
546
01:12:31,400 --> 01:12:35,180
Where's the fun in that?
547
01:12:37,150 --> 01:12:40,280
We cater for all sorts here.
548
01:12:40,450 --> 01:12:43,160
You'd be surprised...
549
01:12:43,320 --> 01:12:47,620
Would you care for
a little fodder, perhaps?
550
01:12:59,670 --> 01:13:01,910
Delicious!
551
01:13:02,090 --> 01:13:07,640
It's not bad tea,
as far as nectar of the gods goes.
552
01:13:07,810 --> 01:13:14,140
You can stay as long as you like.
It's nice to have company for tea.
553
01:13:14,310 --> 01:13:18,180
I'm sorry, but we have to go soon.
554
01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:21,980
We're in a hurry!
555
01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:30,370
Here comes my midget manservant
with the petits fours.
556
01:13:31,910 --> 01:13:37,070
- Albrecht!
- Baron! Berthold!
557
01:13:37,250 --> 01:13:40,700
- What are you doing here?
- Looking for you.
558
01:13:40,880 --> 01:13:45,130
I haven't got the treasure.
I spent... gave it to charity.
559
01:13:45,300 --> 01:13:51,470
I don't want the treasure.
Albrecht, this is Sally.
560
01:13:52,930 --> 01:13:56,470
I want you
to come and fight the Turk.
561
01:13:56,640 --> 01:14:01,150
No, I couldn't do that.
Not since I've found myself.
562
01:14:01,310 --> 01:14:06,820
I didn't really want to
be big and strong and carry things.
563
01:14:06,990 --> 01:14:10,910
Now I know
I want to be dainty and sensitive.
564
01:14:11,070 --> 01:14:15,240
They call me the midget down here.
I love it.
565
01:14:16,080 --> 01:14:19,610
He's gone funny.
566
01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:14,970
Hello.
567
01:16:00,470 --> 01:16:05,630
My darling... my dearest!
568
01:16:11,770 --> 01:16:17,110
Excuse me. May I introduce
Baron Munchausen, -
569
01:16:17,270 --> 01:16:22,780
- and his little friend Sally,
and...
570
01:16:22,950 --> 01:16:26,070
...Berthold.
571
01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:30,790
And this is Venus.
572
01:16:30,950 --> 01:16:34,740
The goddess. My wife.
573
01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:40,290
Madam, I am overwhelmed.
574
01:16:44,420 --> 01:16:48,210
My love, my life.
575
01:16:48,390 --> 01:16:53,430
Alpha and omega of my existence!
I have something for you.
576
01:17:14,910 --> 01:17:17,450
A diamond.
577
01:17:17,620 --> 01:17:21,210
For you, my precious.
578
01:17:21,370 --> 01:17:24,750
You're so sweet.
579
01:17:24,920 --> 01:17:28,010
Another diamond.
580
01:17:33,470 --> 01:17:40,560
Madam, I am alas unable
to offer you so splendid a gift, -
581
01:17:40,730 --> 01:17:48,070
- but may I say, your beauty excels
even Catherine the Great, -
582
01:17:48,230 --> 01:17:53,280
- whose hand in marriage
I once had the honour of declining.
583
01:17:53,450 --> 01:17:57,060
- Baron, you flatter me.
- Not one jot, madam!
584
01:17:57,240 --> 01:18:00,860
Not one tittle!
585
01:18:10,340 --> 01:18:13,420
What a handsome...
586
01:18:13,590 --> 01:18:16,840
...moustache.
587
01:18:18,180 --> 01:18:21,800
Shall we... dance?
588
01:18:51,330 --> 01:18:54,840
Come and see the ballroom.
589
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:58,210
Come and see the ballroom.
590
01:19:25,740 --> 01:19:30,490
Nice, isn't it?
We've just had it done.
591
01:19:30,660 --> 01:19:34,360
Do you know that?
592
01:19:44,760 --> 01:19:48,210
I can dance.
Here, watch this.
593
01:20:38,350 --> 01:20:42,440
- Sally, you can dance, can't you?
- No.
594
01:20:42,600 --> 01:20:45,900
Thanks a lot.
595
01:20:55,950 --> 01:20:58,410
Stop!
596
01:20:59,200 --> 01:21:02,650
Baron!
597
01:21:03,330 --> 01:21:06,870
Can we go now?
598
01:21:07,040 --> 01:21:10,210
Hello!
599
01:21:13,010 --> 01:21:18,640
Stop it! Come down!
600
01:21:19,300 --> 01:21:25,730
We've got to get back
and save the town.
601
01:21:27,140 --> 01:21:34,070
- Please, Baron!
- Don't fret. The town is safe.
602
01:21:58,880 --> 01:22:02,550
The baron's kissing your wife.
603
01:22:07,350 --> 01:22:11,190
I mean, what?
604
01:22:38,710 --> 01:22:46,720
You're a harlot! Whore!
Do you hear? Whore, whore!
605
01:22:48,800 --> 01:22:53,140
That's enough, you strumpet.
606
01:22:55,390 --> 01:22:58,310
No, wait, please...
607
01:22:58,480 --> 01:23:02,650
- But, darling!
- Don't you "darling" me!
608
01:23:06,700 --> 01:23:10,870
Do something. Save him!
609
01:23:12,200 --> 01:23:18,320
- Darling, don't be jealous.
- Jealous? I'm not jealous.
610
01:23:19,790 --> 01:23:23,210
Give him back to me!
611
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:30,630
- You never let me have friends.
- Don't wiggle at men, you floozy!
612
01:23:30,800 --> 01:23:34,340
- Floozy?
- Sir, I must assure you...
613
01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:40,770
- I'm a goddess! I can do as I like.
- And I am the god, so shut up!
614
01:23:44,400 --> 01:23:47,520
Excuse me...
615
01:23:49,150 --> 01:23:52,690
Ungrateful mortal!
616
01:23:52,860 --> 01:23:57,940
- You'll pay for this!
- I insist the lady is blameless.
617
01:24:02,460 --> 01:24:07,530
Please, put the baron down.
He's always like that.
618
01:24:16,430 --> 01:24:24,140
- What have you done to them?
- You small-minded petty bourgeois!
619
01:24:25,270 --> 01:24:29,440
- What have you done to the baron?
- You want the baron?
620
01:24:29,610 --> 01:24:35,360
- You can have the baron!
- No thanks, it's okay...
621
01:24:47,370 --> 01:24:50,290
Did you enjoy that?
622
01:24:52,580 --> 01:24:56,370
Did I excite you?
623
01:26:19,960 --> 01:26:23,540
Oh, damn! I can't swim.
624
01:26:29,300 --> 01:26:33,680
What's happening?
You've got old again.
625
01:26:33,850 --> 01:26:39,310
Well, I've just been expelled
from bliss. And it's your fault!
626
01:26:39,480 --> 01:26:41,970
Where are we?
627
01:26:42,150 --> 01:26:44,860
Answer me!
628
01:26:45,020 --> 01:26:49,030
The most probable explanation -
629
01:26:49,190 --> 01:26:55,070
- is that we dropped through the
world's centre to the South Seas.
630
01:26:55,240 --> 01:26:59,950
- That's miles away.
- Oh, well done!
631
01:27:00,120 --> 01:27:04,170
- I was happy in my volcano.
- So was I.
632
01:27:04,330 --> 01:27:07,630
An island!
633
01:27:08,920 --> 01:27:15,370
- Is there a volcano on it?
- Shut up about your volcanoes!
634
01:27:16,550 --> 01:27:20,310
I think there is a volcano on it.
635
01:27:25,940 --> 01:27:28,020
It's moving!
636
01:27:28,190 --> 01:27:35,820
- I spy something starting with "M".
- It's a demon of the deep!
637
01:27:35,990 --> 01:27:41,370
That starts with "D", you klutz.
"M"...for monster!
638
01:27:47,410 --> 01:27:52,960
- Will it eat us?
- With any luck.
639
01:29:08,030 --> 01:29:11,980
Baron!
640
01:29:17,370 --> 01:29:20,790
Quick, give me a hand.
641
01:29:20,960 --> 01:29:25,710
- He looks dead to me.
- He can't be dead.
642
01:29:32,470 --> 01:29:37,060
He doesn't look very perky,
does he?
643
01:29:37,220 --> 01:29:40,810
Is there a doctor in the fish?
644
01:29:41,690 --> 01:29:46,510
No doctors... no doctors.
645
01:29:47,940 --> 01:29:53,700
- We've got to get him warm and dry.
- What's that noise?
646
01:29:53,860 --> 01:29:58,080
It's... music.
647
01:29:58,240 --> 01:30:01,370
That's not music.
648
01:30:01,540 --> 01:30:04,170
Look!
649
01:30:04,330 --> 01:30:08,670
There's a light. Come on!
650
01:30:14,720 --> 01:30:19,180
This way... careful!
651
01:31:02,050 --> 01:31:05,220
Excuse me!
652
01:31:07,310 --> 01:31:13,100
We need some help.
653
01:31:15,520 --> 01:31:21,700
- We need some help.
- No doctors!
654
01:31:23,780 --> 01:31:27,910
Do I hear the baron?
655
01:31:28,080 --> 01:31:30,950
Eh?
656
01:31:31,120 --> 01:31:33,920
Do I hear the baron?
657
01:31:34,080 --> 01:31:38,340
- No doctors!
- Do I hear the baron?
658
01:31:38,500 --> 01:31:43,580
I just said that.
Use your trumpet!
659
01:31:47,850 --> 01:31:52,520
Adolphus. Gustavus.
Is it really you?
660
01:31:52,680 --> 01:31:58,560
- Baron! Berthold! Albrecht!
- I don't believe it.
661
01:32:03,150 --> 01:32:09,950
This is Adolphus. He could hit a
bull's-eye halfway round the world.
662
01:32:10,120 --> 01:32:15,330
This is Gustavus, who could
blow over a forest with one breath.
663
01:32:15,500 --> 01:32:23,630
Those were the days, eh?
When we were young... and alive.
664
01:32:25,130 --> 01:32:28,910
- How do you mean?
- It's no good fighting it.
665
01:32:29,090 --> 01:32:32,790
- We're not dead.
- You have to accept it.
666
01:32:32,970 --> 01:32:36,470
We're all dead here.
This is Hell.
667
01:32:36,640 --> 01:32:40,770
- Heaven!
- Hell!
668
01:32:40,940 --> 01:32:44,550
Don't be stupid!
669
01:32:44,730 --> 01:32:48,990
Sit down, relax.
Have a game.
670
01:32:49,150 --> 01:32:54,200
You're dead for a very long time.
671
01:33:00,040 --> 01:33:03,960
What are you doing?
672
01:33:04,120 --> 01:33:07,420
You're giving up, aren't you?
673
01:33:07,590 --> 01:33:13,090
- You can't, I won't let you!
- Go away, clear off.
674
01:33:16,260 --> 01:33:21,680
What about Rose and Daisy,
and my father and all the others?
675
01:33:21,850 --> 01:33:27,690
- You promised to help them.
- They are perfectly safe.
676
01:33:32,940 --> 01:33:37,280
They can look after themselves.
677
01:33:40,240 --> 01:33:44,700
Besides,
there are more important things.
678
01:33:44,870 --> 01:33:47,080
Such as?
679
01:34:04,310 --> 01:34:08,600
You horrible little brat!
680
01:34:11,560 --> 01:34:16,070
Can't you let me die in peace
once in a while?
681
01:34:43,220 --> 01:34:48,350
Bucephalos! My Bucephalos.
682
01:34:50,010 --> 01:34:53,350
You must have heard me shouting.
683
01:34:54,020 --> 01:34:59,690
- This is a good omen, what?
- Oh, yeah...
684
01:35:01,610 --> 01:35:05,990
Prepare a rowing boat.
Be ready to leave.
685
01:35:08,870 --> 01:35:16,530
I have learned that a modicum
of snuff can be most efficacious.
686
01:36:22,270 --> 01:36:25,440
I'll never eat fish again.
687
01:36:27,310 --> 01:36:31,980
- Where's the baron?
- Baron?
688
01:36:44,910 --> 01:36:48,580
Baron, where are you?
689
01:36:57,970 --> 01:37:01,090
It's the baron.
690
01:37:06,720 --> 01:37:11,550
Well, come on!
I can't keep this up forever.
691
01:37:34,580 --> 01:37:39,750
Look, the town!
We're here.
692
01:37:45,140 --> 01:37:51,590
Yes, and the flag's still flying.
I told you not to worry.
693
01:37:55,230 --> 01:38:01,280
My God, it's the Sultan's army.
Quick, back in the fish!
694
01:38:04,070 --> 01:38:08,870
They're inviting us to defeat them.
We must oblige them.
695
01:38:09,030 --> 01:38:11,270
On the count of three...
696
01:38:13,080 --> 01:38:16,750
Gustavus!
Blow them back to Asia Minor.
697
01:38:16,910 --> 01:38:20,170
Adolphus!
Find the Sultan and shoot him.
698
01:38:20,330 --> 01:38:27,970
Albrecht, row us ashore.
Berthold... make yourself useful.
699
01:38:28,130 --> 01:38:32,050
You couldn't make that four?
700
01:38:32,220 --> 01:38:35,390
We're going down!
701
01:38:36,850 --> 01:38:40,850
Abandon ship!
Abandon ship!
702
01:38:41,020 --> 01:38:44,520
I think the ship's abandoning us.
703
01:39:03,670 --> 01:39:07,450
I still can't swim.
704
01:39:15,800 --> 01:39:19,010
This is absolutely dreadful.
705
01:39:19,180 --> 01:39:24,940
I've never been in such a rout.
I'm usually on the winning side.
706
01:39:25,100 --> 01:39:30,570
- You're too competitive.
- Albrecht's useless.
707
01:39:30,730 --> 01:39:38,400
- We might as well give up.
- You mustn't say that! Not you!
708
01:39:43,950 --> 01:39:49,960
If we attack from two directions, we
confound surprise with confusion.
709
01:39:50,130 --> 01:39:55,290
Albrecht and Gustavus will provide
the major themes, while...
710
01:39:55,460 --> 01:39:59,840
- Baron.
- Don't interrupt. What is it?
711
01:40:00,010 --> 01:40:03,140
This isn't going to work.
712
01:40:03,310 --> 01:40:08,850
They're old and tired now.
It isn't like it used to be.
713
01:40:10,100 --> 01:40:13,720
Don't you see?
714
01:40:19,320 --> 01:40:24,740
- Where are you going?
- To give myself up.
715
01:40:24,910 --> 01:40:30,620
I gave my word I would raise the
siege and gathered you all here.
716
01:40:35,130 --> 01:40:40,370
If you want to see Baron Munchausen
again, do something about it!
717
01:40:43,880 --> 01:40:48,710
You can't give yourself up.
They might kill you.
718
01:40:48,890 --> 01:40:55,400
And then we spent all that time
in that smelly fish for nothing.
719
01:41:25,630 --> 01:41:31,680
Agreed. Friday 28th, you surrender.
That's three weeks from tomorrow.
720
01:41:31,850 --> 01:41:36,020
- We can fix the details later.
- No, you surrender!
721
01:41:36,180 --> 01:41:41,560
- We've discussed it. You surrender.
- But we're winning!
722
01:41:41,730 --> 01:41:47,610
We surrendered last time.
Now it's your turn.
723
01:41:47,780 --> 01:41:54,060
- What about the virgins?
- Forget them. We're out of virgins.
724
01:41:54,240 --> 01:41:59,000
Let us concentrate on
reaching a civilised agreement -
725
01:41:59,160 --> 01:42:02,860
- that can secure a world fit for
science, progress...
726
01:42:03,040 --> 01:42:06,630
But not Baron Munchausen!
727
01:42:06,790 --> 01:42:10,550
- You old lunatic!
- I'm afraid so.
728
01:42:10,720 --> 01:42:17,000
Help, murder!
Who let this man into my tent?
729
01:42:17,180 --> 01:42:22,060
If you are still interested
in my head... it's yours.
730
01:42:22,230 --> 01:42:26,180
- I'm tired of it.
- Send for the executioner!
731
01:42:26,350 --> 01:42:30,530
So, Mr. Jackson,
still the rational man?
732
01:42:30,690 --> 01:42:35,110
How many people have perished
in your logical little war?
733
01:42:35,280 --> 01:42:42,780
There are rules in life. We cannot
fly to the moon or defy death.
734
01:42:42,950 --> 01:42:49,410
We must face facts, not folly.
You don't live in the real world -
735
01:42:49,580 --> 01:42:53,420
- and so, you come
to a very sticky end.
736
01:43:31,540 --> 01:43:36,340
- Have you any famous last words?
- Not yet.
737
01:43:36,500 --> 01:43:43,380
- "Not yet"? Is that famous?
- The man's a buffoon.
738
01:43:45,180 --> 01:43:49,180
Executioner!
Execute.
739
01:44:20,040 --> 01:44:23,550
He did it!
740
01:44:33,720 --> 01:44:37,310
General, stop that man!
741
01:44:58,120 --> 01:45:02,210
I knew we could do it!
All together now.
742
01:45:27,020 --> 01:45:30,070
Well blown, Gustavus.
743
01:45:45,660 --> 01:45:50,790
- They're coming.
- Come on, go on! Hurry!
744
01:46:35,000 --> 01:46:38,760
Berthold, run.
745
01:47:37,440 --> 01:47:41,860
Make yourself useful!
I can't do everything.
746
01:47:46,650 --> 01:47:49,360
This way.
747
01:48:00,540 --> 01:48:03,080
That's the way!
748
01:49:16,320 --> 01:49:20,240
Gently this time.
749
01:49:20,410 --> 01:49:23,070
Gently!
750
01:51:14,340 --> 01:51:18,600
We did it! We did it!
751
01:51:35,160 --> 01:51:41,780
Look, they don't believe it.
We've won! We've won!
752
01:51:51,250 --> 01:51:54,790
- Come back!
- We've won.
753
01:51:54,970 --> 01:51:57,800
But of course.
754
01:53:05,490 --> 01:53:08,410
Put me down!
755
01:53:20,090 --> 01:53:23,920
He's in the church tower.
756
01:53:35,730 --> 01:53:39,900
There he is, shoot him!
757
01:53:40,060 --> 01:53:44,230
Bring a doctor! Quickly!
758
01:53:44,400 --> 01:53:51,320
- Don't leave me, Baron. Please!
- Get off him. Give him some air.
759
01:53:54,830 --> 01:53:59,000
Here is the doctor.
760
01:54:01,630 --> 01:54:07,210
- Take care of Sally.
- No doctors...
761
01:54:08,590 --> 01:54:11,260
No doctors.
762
01:54:29,030 --> 01:54:32,400
Get away! Leave him alone!
763
01:54:35,530 --> 01:54:39,120
Sally's having a fit.
764
01:54:44,670 --> 01:54:47,960
Stop it!
765
01:54:58,340 --> 01:55:01,310
He's dead.
766
01:56:06,320 --> 01:56:11,400
...that was only one of the
many times I met my death.
767
01:56:11,580 --> 01:56:17,950
An experience which I don't hesitate
strongly to recommend.
768
01:56:18,130 --> 01:56:22,840
And so, with the help of my
inestimable servants, -
769
01:56:23,010 --> 01:56:27,050
- I defeated the Turks
and saved the day.
770
01:56:27,220 --> 01:56:32,810
And from that time forth,
everyone who had a talent for it -
771
01:56:32,970 --> 01:56:36,140
- lived happily ever after.
772
01:56:36,310 --> 01:56:40,100
Stop this nonsense at once!
773
01:56:40,270 --> 01:56:42,480
You are under arrest -
774
01:56:42,650 --> 01:56:46,700
- for spreading ridiculous tales
at a time of danger, -
775
01:56:46,860 --> 01:56:50,280
- with the enemy at the gate.
Arrest him.
776
01:56:50,450 --> 01:56:53,580
Open the gates.
777
01:56:54,870 --> 01:56:59,000
I order you
to arrest that man at once.
778
01:56:59,170 --> 01:57:03,210
Am I not the elected representative?
779
01:57:03,380 --> 01:57:08,130
- Arrest him!
- Open the gates.
780
01:57:09,510 --> 01:57:12,050
This way!
781
01:57:12,890 --> 01:57:17,960
- Come on.
- Do not open the gates!
782
01:57:18,140 --> 01:57:21,390
The Turk is outside.
We will not surrender.
783
01:57:22,390 --> 01:57:26,480
Open the gates.
784
01:57:27,520 --> 01:57:32,240
Come on, dear ladies.
Forward the players!
785
01:57:32,400 --> 01:57:38,490
- Do not open the gates.
- Keep up. Steady as you go.
786
01:57:38,660 --> 01:57:46,410
Come back, I'm warning you!
Do not open those gates.
787
01:57:48,420 --> 01:57:51,170
Follow me!
788
01:57:58,550 --> 01:58:04,480
- The gates will remain closed.
- Open the gates.
789
01:58:04,640 --> 01:58:08,400
Shoot anyone
who disobeys my orders.
790
01:58:11,360 --> 01:58:14,940
Hold your ground, hold your ground!
791
01:58:15,110 --> 01:58:22,280
Open the gates, dear friends,
and let's seize the day.
792
01:58:22,450 --> 01:58:30,080
Nothing destroys a man as ignorance
and conformity. Grasp the mantle!
793
01:58:31,210 --> 01:58:34,960
No, no, no! Quite wrong.
794
01:58:35,130 --> 01:58:38,720
Open the gates!
795
01:58:39,220 --> 01:58:42,390
Shoot them!
796
01:58:44,800 --> 01:58:48,560
Shoot these people at once!
797
01:58:56,070 --> 01:59:00,610
So! It's treason, is it?
798
01:59:02,360 --> 01:59:10,540
Right, you're all under arrest.
All of you!
799
01:59:59,330 --> 02:00:03,170
Bucephalos. My Bucephalos.
800
02:00:15,850 --> 02:00:19,100
Beautiful ladies...
801
02:00:19,890 --> 02:00:23,760
Beautiful ladies...
802
02:00:40,000 --> 02:00:44,370
It wasn't just a story... was it?62880
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