Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,552 --> 00:00:03,286
Everyone you know plays a
different role in your life.
2
00:00:03,379 --> 00:00:05,513
Most of those people
make your life better.
3
00:00:05,515 --> 00:00:08,516
["There She Goes" by the La's]
4
00:00:08,518 --> 00:00:12,253
♪ There she goes again ♪
5
00:00:12,255 --> 00:00:15,823
But others, they definitely
make your life worse.
6
00:00:15,825 --> 00:00:21,829
- ♪ Racing through my brain ♪
- [music slows]
7
00:00:21,831 --> 00:00:25,733
Ugh. Phil Ricozzi.
8
00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:27,468
What's the matter, Riley?
9
00:00:27,470 --> 00:00:28,936
Upset that I'm going out
with the girl of your dreams?
10
00:00:28,938 --> 00:00:30,571
Did you just come here to gloat?
11
00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:31,839
What does gloat mean?
12
00:00:31,841 --> 00:00:33,173
It means to rub it in my face.
13
00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:35,442
Oh, well then yes, I gloat at you.
14
00:00:35,444 --> 00:00:38,178
God, how could someone like Nori go out
with something like you?
15
00:00:38,180 --> 00:00:40,381
I don't know, but she is.
16
00:00:40,383 --> 00:00:42,550
And here's your proof, sucka.
17
00:00:42,552 --> 00:00:45,886
"Phil and Nori forever".
She made you this?
18
00:00:45,888 --> 00:00:48,122
You know what? Keep it.
19
00:00:48,124 --> 00:00:50,224
It'll be a constant reminder that you're
20
00:00:50,226 --> 00:00:53,093
just her stupid friend, and I'm someone
she lets kiss her awesome face.
21
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,429
[bright music]
22
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:58,699
You just have to hope that eventually
you can put those people behind you
23
00:00:58,701 --> 00:01:00,668
and move on with your life.
24
00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:05,072
Hey, guys, I know you were supposed
to meet with Betty today,
25
00:01:05,074 --> 00:01:06,574
but our new VP heard you were coming in,
26
00:01:06,576 --> 00:01:08,609
and insisted on hearing
the pitch himself.
27
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:11,278
Apparently, you guys go way back.
28
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,748
What's up, Riley? How is your hot mom?
29
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:17,551
- Phil Ricozzi?
- [laughter]
30
00:01:17,553 --> 00:01:20,354
But sometimes,
those people come back into your life
31
00:01:20,356 --> 00:01:22,356
in the most unexpected ways.
32
00:01:22,358 --> 00:01:25,626
Alex, do you remember Phil Ricozzi?
33
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:27,294
Yes, of course I remember Phil Ricozzi.
34
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,730
That narcissistic jerk
tormented me for years.
35
00:01:29,732 --> 00:01:32,433
Oh, I think today I will
have a Denver omelet.
36
00:01:32,435 --> 00:01:34,602
He died.
37
00:01:34,604 --> 00:01:36,170
Oh.
38
00:01:36,172 --> 00:01:40,140
Well, may the narcissistic
jerk rest in peace.
39
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,942
And a toasted bagel, please.
40
00:01:41,944 --> 00:01:45,145
♪ ♪
41
00:01:49,508 --> 00:01:53,043
Alex Riley, it's been 25 years.
42
00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:55,278
- Is that you, One Nut?
- I prefer Darryl.
43
00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:56,663
Why? Is that your real name?
44
00:01:56,665 --> 00:01:58,799
I would've thought
your medical condition
45
00:01:58,801 --> 00:02:00,333
would've stunted your growth,
but look at you!
46
00:02:00,335 --> 00:02:01,768
You're the size of a man!
47
00:02:01,770 --> 00:02:03,370
- And you're an a...
- So, Phil, uh...
48
00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:05,172
What are you doing in the VC business?
49
00:02:05,174 --> 00:02:06,640
I thought you were into
the whole acting thing.
50
00:02:06,642 --> 00:02:08,175
Nah, I did a bunch of commercials.
51
00:02:08,177 --> 00:02:09,876
And I frenched Tara Reid
in a Lifetime movie.
52
00:02:09,878 --> 00:02:11,678
- Sorry.
- But then I realized
53
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,447
the real money is in this VC world.
54
00:02:14,449 --> 00:02:16,183
You would never believe how rich I am.
55
00:02:16,185 --> 00:02:17,951
And they say nice guys finish last.
56
00:02:17,953 --> 00:02:19,853
- True that, One Nut.
- I prefer Darryl.
57
00:02:20,387 --> 00:02:21,955
It's really good to see you guys.
58
00:02:21,957 --> 00:02:23,924
Really? 'Cause I'm a little thrown.
59
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,692
I feel like in middle school,
you and I were...
60
00:02:25,694 --> 00:02:27,327
Kids. That's all we were.
61
00:02:27,329 --> 00:02:29,496
But as far as this guy's concerned,
62
00:02:29,498 --> 00:02:31,865
everyone I grew up with, they're family.
63
00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:33,800
You know,
in that Olive Garden type of way.
64
00:02:33,802 --> 00:02:36,803
Not that I eat there.
Again, super successful.
65
00:02:36,805 --> 00:02:40,540
So what are we waiting for?
Let's go hear this genius idea!
66
00:02:42,578 --> 00:02:45,178
I don't know, man. I smell a rat.
67
00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:46,680
What? Do you think this guy brought us
68
00:02:46,682 --> 00:02:48,014
all the way down here just
to laugh in our faces?
69
00:02:48,016 --> 00:02:51,051
- Yeah, that's exactly what I think.
- Yeah, so do I.
70
00:02:51,053 --> 00:02:52,752
Come on, people change, right?
I mean, look at you!
71
00:02:52,754 --> 00:02:53,648
What about me?
72
00:02:53,689 --> 00:02:55,889
Yeah, you grew up
to be the size of a man!
73
00:02:55,891 --> 00:02:57,657
♪ ♪
74
00:02:57,659 --> 00:02:59,593
Hey, how'd you do
on that female anatomy test?
75
00:02:59,595 --> 00:03:03,263
I think I spelled "fallopian" wrong,
but I definitely got "boobs" right.
76
00:03:03,265 --> 00:03:04,698
It's "breasts".
77
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,566
- Oh, boy.
- Yeah.
78
00:03:06,568 --> 00:03:09,169
- Hey, Alex.
- Hey, Nori.
79
00:03:09,171 --> 00:03:11,004
Have you been avoiding me
because I've been spending
80
00:03:11,006 --> 00:03:12,973
so much time with Phil Ricozzi?
81
00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:14,975
I know you think
he's a little bit of a jerk.
82
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:17,510
That's not true.
I think he's a lot of a jerk.
83
00:03:17,512 --> 00:03:21,481
I promise if you give Phil a chance,
you'd realize he's a really good guy.
84
00:03:21,483 --> 00:03:24,684
♪ ♪
85
00:03:24,686 --> 00:03:25,952
Where did you get this?
86
00:03:25,954 --> 00:03:27,687
- Phil gave it to me.
- Why?
87
00:03:27,689 --> 00:03:29,623
To rub it in your face
that I'm his girlfriend?
88
00:03:29,625 --> 00:03:30,857
♪ ♪
89
00:03:30,859 --> 00:03:32,659
[scoffs] Nah.
90
00:03:32,661 --> 00:03:35,095
A good guy like Phil would
never do something like that.
91
00:03:35,097 --> 00:03:37,097
Anyway, see you.
92
00:03:37,099 --> 00:03:40,066
♪ ♪
93
00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:41,768
I don't like this.
94
00:03:41,770 --> 00:03:44,337
I don't like this at all.
95
00:03:44,339 --> 00:03:45,839
We're getting to that
age where our friends
96
00:03:45,841 --> 00:03:47,207
are starting to die off.
97
00:03:47,209 --> 00:03:50,510
It's 2042, you'd think they'd have cured
this whole death thing by now.
98
00:03:50,512 --> 00:03:52,612
So, Phil's memorial
is planned for Thursday.
99
00:03:52,614 --> 00:03:54,047
Oh, well you're not
actually thinking about
100
00:03:54,049 --> 00:03:55,482
going to that thing, are you?
101
00:03:55,484 --> 00:03:57,784
The guy treated me
unforgivably, Eleanor.
102
00:03:57,786 --> 00:04:00,553
Well, now that he's gone,
maybe it's time that you forgave him,
103
00:04:00,555 --> 00:04:01,755
so why don't you come with me...
104
00:04:01,757 --> 00:04:03,290
[laughter] No.
105
00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:05,358
No, no, no, no, no. There's no way
106
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,360
I'm going to Phil Ricozzi's
memorial service.
107
00:04:07,362 --> 00:04:09,696
You're gonna make me go all alone?
108
00:04:12,301 --> 00:04:13,600
Let me ask you something.
109
00:04:13,602 --> 00:04:14,852
Do you think that after we die,
110
00:04:14,870 --> 00:04:18,405
we can still see all the stuff
that's going on around us?
111
00:04:18,407 --> 00:04:20,840
You know something? I actually do.
112
00:04:20,842 --> 00:04:23,510
Fine. I'll go.
113
00:04:23,512 --> 00:04:25,645
But just so that Phil
Ricozzi is pissed off
114
00:04:25,647 --> 00:04:27,847
when he sees you and I walk in together.
115
00:04:27,849 --> 00:04:30,216
And that is the Baby Glide.
116
00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:32,519
A combination stroller and skateboard.
117
00:04:32,521 --> 00:04:35,622
For the hipster who wants
to get a little bit wild...
118
00:04:35,624 --> 00:04:38,124
Pushing their child!
119
00:04:38,126 --> 00:04:40,894
So what do you think?
120
00:04:40,896 --> 00:04:43,163
- I hate it.
- Hate?
121
00:04:43,165 --> 00:04:44,998
That's a pretty strong word,
122
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,808
usually reserved for things
like human trafficking and cauliflower.
123
00:04:47,903 --> 00:04:51,705
I hate that I didn't
think of this myself.
124
00:04:51,707 --> 00:04:53,740
Gentlemen, you have a sale!
125
00:04:53,742 --> 00:04:55,375
- Seriously?
- Seriously!
126
00:04:55,377 --> 00:04:56,886
- Yes!
- This idea's brilliant!
127
00:04:56,913 --> 00:04:59,012
Come here! I want to hug it out!
Get over here, you!
128
00:04:59,014 --> 00:05:00,480
- Okay.
- You too!
129
00:05:00,482 --> 00:05:02,115
Look at me, I'm hugging Phil Ricozzi.
130
00:05:02,117 --> 00:05:04,351
I'm hugging Alex Riley, and uh...
I'm sorry.
131
00:05:04,353 --> 00:05:05,952
I can't remember your real name.
132
00:05:05,954 --> 00:05:08,421
It's One Nut, baby.
Just call me One Nut!
133
00:05:08,423 --> 00:05:10,890
- [laughter]
- One Nut! Look at us!
134
00:05:10,892 --> 00:05:13,560
Big news, everybody.
Nori just broke up with Phil.
135
00:05:13,562 --> 00:05:15,061
How do you know?
136
00:05:15,063 --> 00:05:17,664
I have a network of
carefully cultivated spies
137
00:05:17,666 --> 00:05:19,766
scattered throughout the school.
138
00:05:19,768 --> 00:05:23,570
I can't believe Nori broke up with me.
139
00:05:23,572 --> 00:05:26,406
I think Nori broke up with Phil.
140
00:05:26,408 --> 00:05:28,508
I'm sorry, but I just
can't reveal my sources.
141
00:05:28,510 --> 00:05:30,477
- This is fantastic!
- Why?
142
00:05:30,479 --> 00:05:32,112
You think she's gonna go out with you?
143
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,781
As my grandmother would say, pu-shaw!
144
00:05:34,783 --> 00:05:37,250
Hey, as long as she is not with Phil,
I am good.
145
00:05:37,252 --> 00:05:40,120
Is that why you gave Nori the heart?
To break us up?
146
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,055
No, but maybe you shouldn't have used it
147
00:05:42,057 --> 00:05:44,024
to flaunt your relationship
in front of me.
148
00:05:44,026 --> 00:05:45,959
"Flaunt?" That means "gloat."
149
00:05:45,961 --> 00:05:47,327
♪ ♪
150
00:05:47,329 --> 00:05:50,030
"Gloat" means to rub it in my face.
151
00:05:50,032 --> 00:05:52,365
I'll tell you what I'm gonna
rub in your face, the floor.
152
00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:54,200
That's right, Chokey.
You and me after school,
153
00:05:54,202 --> 00:05:55,335
we're gonna fight.
154
00:05:55,337 --> 00:05:56,770
[gasps and murmuring]
155
00:05:56,772 --> 00:05:58,304
What? I...
156
00:05:58,306 --> 00:06:00,640
- Like a fist fight?
- Not like a fist fight.
157
00:06:00,642 --> 00:06:02,876
A fist fight,
with my fist fighting your face,
158
00:06:02,878 --> 00:06:04,644
and your face fighting
to stay in one piece.
159
00:06:04,646 --> 00:06:06,312
♪ ♪
160
00:06:06,314 --> 00:06:08,348
But could we do it
after school tomorrow?
161
00:06:08,350 --> 00:06:10,517
Today I've got an audition for
a Purina Dog Chow commercial.
162
00:06:10,519 --> 00:06:13,553
You do? Cool, good luck!
163
00:06:13,555 --> 00:06:14,644
Whose side are you on?
164
00:06:14,657 --> 00:06:19,059
Yours, but Purina Dog Chow?
That's a huge campaign.
165
00:06:22,197 --> 00:06:23,693
To the future of the Baby Glide.
166
00:06:23,737 --> 00:06:25,888
Ahh, it feels good to make a sale.
167
00:06:25,905 --> 00:06:27,705
Yeah, I was starting to get
worried about my career.
168
00:06:27,707 --> 00:06:29,206
Starting to get worried?
169
00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:31,742
You've been living in
my garage for 223 days!
170
00:06:31,744 --> 00:06:33,611
- But who's counting?
- Your wife.
171
00:06:33,613 --> 00:06:35,446
Your wife is counting.
She has a calendar
172
00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:36,914
with check marks on it
in the laundry room.
173
00:06:36,916 --> 00:06:38,182
I've seen it.
174
00:06:38,184 --> 00:06:40,618
- It makes me sad.
- [doorbell ringing]
175
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:43,154
Hey, it's the lady
from Phil Ricozzi's office.
176
00:06:43,156 --> 00:06:45,389
Hello, lady from Phil Ricozzi's office.
177
00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,325
Sorry to bother you at home.
178
00:06:47,327 --> 00:06:49,327
Phil wanted me to bring over
a copy of the signed contracts
179
00:06:49,329 --> 00:06:51,028
to declare that the
deal is now official.
180
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,531
This is awesome.
Do you want to do the dance?
181
00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:54,865
- In front of her?
- Yeah, no.
182
00:06:54,867 --> 00:06:55,912
I think she'll like it.
183
00:06:56,002 --> 00:06:59,070
♪ We are gonna be rich
We are gonna be rich ♪
184
00:06:59,072 --> 00:07:00,504
Come on, join us! ♪ We are... ♪
185
00:07:00,506 --> 00:07:02,006
There's actually one more thing.
186
00:07:02,008 --> 00:07:04,875
He also wanted me to
deliver this message.
187
00:07:04,877 --> 00:07:07,011
"The Baby Glide project is now dead.
188
00:07:07,013 --> 00:07:09,146
"I am burying it,
it will never get made,
189
00:07:09,148 --> 00:07:10,915
"and since your profits
are based on sales,
190
00:07:10,917 --> 00:07:14,018
You will effectively
be making nothing, suckas."
191
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:16,487
He made me say "suckas",
I thought it was piling on.
192
00:07:16,489 --> 00:07:18,189
You were right. It was.
193
00:07:18,191 --> 00:07:20,024
Why would he send you
here to tell us that?
194
00:07:20,026 --> 00:07:22,093
I mean, he could've just sent an e-mail.
195
00:07:22,095 --> 00:07:24,028
He wanted to see the looks on your faces
196
00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:26,330
when you heard it was
never going to get made.
197
00:07:26,332 --> 00:07:29,400
- But he's not even here.
- Again, not my idea.
198
00:07:29,402 --> 00:07:31,202
[camera clicks]
199
00:07:31,204 --> 00:07:33,170
I really apologize.
200
00:07:33,172 --> 00:07:37,608
♪ ♪
201
00:07:37,610 --> 00:07:41,445
- ♪ We're not gonna be rich ♪
- Too soon.
202
00:07:41,447 --> 00:07:44,248
What am I... what am I gonna do?
I can't fight Phil!
203
00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:46,217
I've never been punched!
204
00:07:46,219 --> 00:07:47,885
I've gotta get out of this!
205
00:07:47,887 --> 00:07:49,787
Too late. Once someone
publicly challenges you
206
00:07:49,789 --> 00:07:51,822
to a fight, there is no turning back.
207
00:07:51,824 --> 00:07:53,290
Those are the rules.
208
00:07:53,292 --> 00:07:55,760
- What rules?
- The rules of childhood!
209
00:07:55,762 --> 00:07:58,095
They're often cruel,
but they're there to keep us safe.
210
00:07:58,097 --> 00:08:00,264
God, I can't believe
I'm gonna be in a fight.
211
00:08:00,266 --> 00:08:03,033
Did I just hear there's
gonna be a fight?
212
00:08:03,035 --> 00:08:05,669
Now, the most important
thing to remember
213
00:08:05,671 --> 00:08:08,939
is that the real fight starts
before the fight, okay?
214
00:08:08,941 --> 00:08:10,408
That's when you gotta
get into your opponent's
215
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:12,877
psychological weak spots,
and exploit 'em!
216
00:08:12,879 --> 00:08:15,045
You understand what I'm saying,
you nervous little nerd
217
00:08:15,047 --> 00:08:16,480
who spits when he talks?
218
00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:18,649
- What?
- It's hurtful, I know,
219
00:08:18,651 --> 00:08:20,317
but I'm trying to
build up your tolerance
220
00:08:20,319 --> 00:08:21,986
so he can't get inside your head,
221
00:08:21,988 --> 00:08:24,422
you frazzled little prepubescent geek!
222
00:08:24,424 --> 00:08:26,457
- Hey.
- Come on.
223
00:08:26,459 --> 00:08:28,125
He's gonna come at you with worse,
224
00:08:28,127 --> 00:08:29,994
and I want you to be prepared!
225
00:08:29,996 --> 00:08:32,863
Now go ahead, you practice on me.
226
00:08:32,865 --> 00:08:34,432
- No.
- Do it!
227
00:08:34,434 --> 00:08:38,769
Okay, find my weak spot
and nail me on it!
228
00:08:38,771 --> 00:08:40,571
I can't believe my mom
was ever attracted
229
00:08:40,573 --> 00:08:44,375
to a guy with two completely
different-sized ears.
230
00:08:44,377 --> 00:08:46,677
Wow.
231
00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:51,048
That's how you're gonna talk to a man
who's trying to help you, huh?
232
00:08:51,050 --> 00:08:53,784
Just... Wow.
233
00:08:53,786 --> 00:08:55,152
♪ ♪
234
00:08:55,154 --> 00:08:56,954
[knocking on door]
235
00:08:56,956 --> 00:09:00,958
Alex, what can I do for you
on this beautiful day?
236
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,593
Why are you burying my project?
237
00:09:02,595 --> 00:09:04,829
You really love that Baby Glide,
don't you?
238
00:09:04,831 --> 00:09:06,697
Yeah, the Baby Glide is my baby.
239
00:09:06,699 --> 00:09:08,532
If I could, I would push
my Baby Glide around
240
00:09:08,534 --> 00:09:10,067
inside of another Baby Glide.
241
00:09:10,069 --> 00:09:13,637
Man, doesn't it suck to love something,
242
00:09:13,639 --> 00:09:16,307
have someone come around
and ruin it for you?
243
00:09:16,309 --> 00:09:17,808
What are you talking about?
244
00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:21,145
Nori Sterling.
Payback's a bitch, Chokey.
245
00:09:21,147 --> 00:09:23,614
Nori Sterling?
That was like 25 years ago!
246
00:09:23,616 --> 00:09:27,318
My life might be completely different
if you hadn't broken us up!
247
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,186
Who knows?
248
00:09:29,188 --> 00:09:31,622
That might've been my
"Sliding Doors" moment.
249
00:09:31,624 --> 00:09:33,157
"Sliding Doors"? What?
250
00:09:33,159 --> 00:09:34,792
It's a movie with Gwyneth Paltrow,
251
00:09:34,794 --> 00:09:37,828
where the doors on the train close
and she's unable to get on.
252
00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:39,964
Changed the entire course of her life.
253
00:09:39,966 --> 00:09:41,465
It actually sounds pretty good.
254
00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:43,200
It is worth a watch, if it's on TV.
255
00:09:43,202 --> 00:09:45,035
Yeah, no, okay, you seem to love it.
I'll check it out.
256
00:09:45,037 --> 00:09:47,571
That was like 25 years ago, man.
We were just kids!
257
00:09:47,573 --> 00:09:49,473
Yeah, well now we're adults.
258
00:09:49,475 --> 00:09:53,077
And one of us has money
and power, which means I win.
259
00:09:53,079 --> 00:09:56,847
[bright music]
260
00:09:56,849 --> 00:09:59,683
- Which means you lose.
- I know what you meant, Phil.
261
00:09:59,685 --> 00:10:01,018
Good morning, Abby.
262
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,653
Ooh, look at you, wearing a tie.
263
00:10:02,655 --> 00:10:05,823
Are congratulations or
condolences in order?
264
00:10:05,825 --> 00:10:07,525
Little of both.
265
00:10:07,527 --> 00:10:09,026
Phil Ricozzi died.
266
00:10:09,028 --> 00:10:10,694
I'm going to his memorial service.
267
00:10:10,696 --> 00:10:12,263
Phil Ricozzi?
268
00:10:12,265 --> 00:10:13,998
Didn't we used to throw eggs
at his house on Halloween?
269
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:17,468
Yes, yes, never knew it was us, either.
270
00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:19,303
So why are you going to
his memorial service?
271
00:10:19,305 --> 00:10:21,572
Eleanor talked me into it.
We're going together.
272
00:10:21,574 --> 00:10:24,575
Eleanor? Ugh, Dad,
I thought you were over her.
273
00:10:24,577 --> 00:10:26,010
I am!
274
00:10:26,012 --> 00:10:27,845
You're going on a sneaky date!
275
00:10:27,847 --> 00:10:29,480
- Wha...
- You're all dressed up,
276
00:10:29,482 --> 00:10:31,649
it's emotional,
plus Ricozzi sent a time,
277
00:10:31,651 --> 00:10:33,217
which means there will be a lot of wine,
278
00:10:33,219 --> 00:10:34,919
- which leads to...
- Don't say it!
279
00:10:34,921 --> 00:10:36,053
Sneaky date!
280
00:10:36,055 --> 00:10:37,454
It's not a sneaky date.
281
00:10:37,456 --> 00:10:39,123
Okay, fine.
282
00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:42,393
I was gonna tell you that a blue tie
would go better with your eyes,
283
00:10:42,395 --> 00:10:44,461
but if it's not a date, doesn't matter.
284
00:10:44,463 --> 00:10:46,063
Doesn't matter, you're right.
285
00:10:46,065 --> 00:10:48,599
- Love you. Go Bulls!
- Love you. Go Bulls!
286
00:10:48,601 --> 00:10:55,673
♪ ♪
287
00:10:55,675 --> 00:10:58,976
I guess there's nothing
wrong looking your best.
288
00:10:58,978 --> 00:11:00,377
Yo, Chokey.
289
00:11:00,379 --> 00:11:02,479
Today after school, you're going down!
290
00:11:02,481 --> 00:11:04,548
Oh, hey, Phil.
How was your dog chow audition?
291
00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:06,383
I destroyed it, like today after school,
292
00:11:06,385 --> 00:11:08,118
I'm gonna destroy your face.
293
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,753
Cool, so you got the part.
294
00:11:09,755 --> 00:11:11,455
Yeah, I got the part.
And today, after school,
295
00:11:11,457 --> 00:11:13,023
I'm gonna rip you a-part.
296
00:11:13,025 --> 00:11:14,592
I bet you will.
297
00:11:14,594 --> 00:11:17,461
You know, I just hate to see you lose
that dog chow commercial.
298
00:11:17,463 --> 00:11:18,929
What are you talking about?
299
00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:20,506
I mean, if by some crazy miracle
300
00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:23,734
I happen to land one of my weak
little punches on your face...
301
00:11:23,736 --> 00:11:25,269
The moneymaker!
302
00:11:25,271 --> 00:11:26,503
Yeah, they'd never
let you film that thing.
303
00:11:26,505 --> 00:11:27,638
Just be careful, okay?
304
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,340
I'll see you today after school.
305
00:11:29,342 --> 00:11:31,709
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I can't take that risk!
306
00:11:31,711 --> 00:11:33,143
The moneymaker's too valuable,
307
00:11:33,145 --> 00:11:35,212
that's why they call it the moneymaker!
308
00:11:35,214 --> 00:11:37,314
Then I guess we're gonna
have to call off the fight.
309
00:11:37,316 --> 00:11:38,616
God, that sucks!
310
00:11:38,618 --> 00:11:40,551
I was really looking forward to it too.
311
00:11:40,553 --> 00:11:42,319
We can't call off the fight.
312
00:11:42,321 --> 00:11:45,122
Everyone will think we're the
biggest cowards in school.
313
00:11:45,124 --> 00:11:48,792
Hey, I know,
how about we fake the fight?
314
00:11:48,794 --> 00:11:50,904
- Fake the fight?
- Yeah, like a stage fight.
315
00:11:50,939 --> 00:11:51,795
You really think that'll work?
316
00:11:51,797 --> 00:11:53,998
Of course it'll work!
You just have to sell it.
317
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,066
Before the fight,
you should yell out, "Hey, Phil!
318
00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:58,502
I've always hated you
'cause you're better looking than me!"
319
00:11:58,504 --> 00:11:59,837
I can make up my own lines.
320
00:11:59,839 --> 00:12:02,172
Okay, but I've studied improv.
321
00:12:02,174 --> 00:12:03,874
Making up lines is way
harder than it looks.
322
00:12:03,876 --> 00:12:05,576
Yeah? I think I'll manage.
323
00:12:05,578 --> 00:12:07,344
The only problem is I've
been taking acting classes
324
00:12:07,346 --> 00:12:08,879
since I was three!
325
00:12:08,881 --> 00:12:10,180
How can I possibly teach
you everything I know
326
00:12:10,182 --> 00:12:11,915
about stage combat in one hour?
327
00:12:11,917 --> 00:12:13,183
Don't you just pretend to
hit me and then I go...
328
00:12:13,185 --> 00:12:14,418
[imitates punch]
329
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:17,421
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
330
00:12:17,423 --> 00:12:19,223
I just can't believe I'm an adult man,
331
00:12:19,225 --> 00:12:21,725
and I'm still getting
bullied by Phil Ricozzi.
332
00:12:21,727 --> 00:12:25,295
I let him call me One Nut.
Told him I liked it.
333
00:12:25,297 --> 00:12:27,398
- I feel dirty.
- Boys, boys, boys.
334
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,885
You want to get back at the bully,
335
00:12:28,935 --> 00:12:32,069
the worst thing you can do is
show him that he got your goat.
336
00:12:32,071 --> 00:12:34,838
He did get my goat.
My goat has been gotten.
337
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,707
This might surprise you,
but back in my day,
338
00:12:36,709 --> 00:12:37,970
I was a bit of a bully.
339
00:12:38,078 --> 00:12:40,577
It does not surprise me, Ron.
You seem to always bring it up
340
00:12:40,579 --> 00:12:42,012
whenever you want to give me advice.
341
00:12:42,014 --> 00:12:44,281
Well, back in those days, the second
342
00:12:44,283 --> 00:12:47,918
some dweeb didn't seem to care,
it took all the fun out of it,
343
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,454
and I'd fold like an origami duck.
344
00:12:50,456 --> 00:12:52,356
Goats, ducks. What are you saying?
345
00:12:52,358 --> 00:12:55,359
I'm saying you may never
get back your invention,
346
00:12:55,361 --> 00:12:59,663
but you sure as hell can go
there and get back your goat!
347
00:12:59,665 --> 00:13:01,598
You were a bad kid, weren't you?
348
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:05,903
I did some things I regret.
But God, they were fun!
349
00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:07,938
[laughter]
350
00:13:07,940 --> 00:13:09,673
♪ ♪
351
00:13:09,675 --> 00:13:11,575
Why do they always put
up pictures of people
352
00:13:11,577 --> 00:13:13,210
30 years before they died?
353
00:13:13,212 --> 00:13:14,478
What's wrong with the older years?
354
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,813
Well, not everyone ages well.
355
00:13:15,815 --> 00:13:18,782
Clearly not a problem for you.
356
00:13:18,784 --> 00:13:21,218
Aw, that is so sweet.
357
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:24,154
Oh, Phil, I hope you can see this.
358
00:13:24,156 --> 00:13:25,723
Why am I looking up?
359
00:13:25,725 --> 00:13:28,926
Uh, hello, I'm Joan Ricozzi,
Phil's cousin.
360
00:13:28,928 --> 00:13:30,928
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.
361
00:13:30,930 --> 00:13:32,896
I'm Eleanor.
362
00:13:32,898 --> 00:13:34,364
Alex Riley.
363
00:13:34,366 --> 00:13:36,400
- The inventor?
- Mm.
364
00:13:36,402 --> 00:13:39,937
Oh my God, Phil would've been thrilled
to know that you were here.
365
00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:41,605
I would like to think he does know,
366
00:13:41,607 --> 00:13:44,308
and that I came with this one.
367
00:13:44,310 --> 00:13:46,610
Would you mind saying a
few words about Phil today?
368
00:13:46,612 --> 00:13:50,881
Me? No, I don't...
I don't think that's a good idea.
369
00:13:50,883 --> 00:13:52,416
You know,
Phil would always tell his friends
370
00:13:52,418 --> 00:13:55,652
that he grew up with the Alex Riley.
371
00:13:55,654 --> 00:13:58,722
Please? Just a little
about what he meant to you.
372
00:13:58,724 --> 00:14:00,657
- I really don't...
- Of course he would.
373
00:14:00,659 --> 00:14:04,495
...have a choice, I guess.
374
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,864
[bright music]
375
00:14:12,866 --> 00:14:16,535
♪ ♪
376
00:14:16,953 --> 00:14:18,270
Here, little bro. Sign this.
377
00:14:18,272 --> 00:14:20,372
- What is it?
- An organ donor form.
378
00:14:20,374 --> 00:14:21,544
You've got a great heart,
379
00:14:21,575 --> 00:14:23,018
and I want to make sure
someone worthy gets it.
380
00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:25,344
- I'm not gonna die.
- There it is.
381
00:14:25,346 --> 00:14:27,038
- Kid's all heart.
- No.
382
00:14:27,081 --> 00:14:31,350
Look, you can't tell anyone,
but I struck a deal with Phil.
383
00:14:31,352 --> 00:14:33,051
No real punches,
the whole thing is fake.
384
00:14:33,053 --> 00:14:34,586
- That's brilliant!
- Mm-hmm.
385
00:14:34,588 --> 00:14:35,710
It's a shame you're not gonna die,
386
00:14:35,756 --> 00:14:37,656
someone could've really used that brain.
387
00:14:37,658 --> 00:14:40,692
Yo, Alex. You ready to do this?
388
00:14:40,694 --> 00:14:45,731
Yeah, I've never been more,
you know, ready...
389
00:14:45,733 --> 00:14:48,967
to do... anything.
390
00:14:50,404 --> 00:14:53,171
Wow, it is hard making up lines.
391
00:14:53,173 --> 00:14:56,375
[dramatic music]
392
00:14:56,377 --> 00:14:58,310
[whispering] I forget, who goes first?
393
00:14:58,312 --> 00:15:00,011
- I thought I went first.
- I thought I went first.
394
00:15:00,013 --> 00:15:01,313
Then go first!
395
00:15:01,315 --> 00:15:03,014
[crowd gasping]
396
00:15:03,016 --> 00:15:06,318
♪ ♪
397
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,554
[grunting]
398
00:15:09,556 --> 00:15:11,523
Alex ain't even touching him.
399
00:15:11,525 --> 00:15:13,892
He's using the Force.
400
00:15:13,894 --> 00:15:16,161
He is? Gnarly.
401
00:15:16,163 --> 00:15:20,565
♪ ♪
402
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:22,934
[crowd gasps]
403
00:15:22,936 --> 00:15:26,571
♪ ♪
404
00:15:26,573 --> 00:15:28,573
[grunting]
405
00:15:28,575 --> 00:15:32,043
[cheers and applause]
406
00:15:32,045 --> 00:15:36,581
[crowd gasping]
407
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:43,889
♪ ♪
408
00:15:48,829 --> 00:15:49,961
Stop this at once!
409
00:15:49,963 --> 00:15:51,763
[crowd groaning]
410
00:15:51,765 --> 00:15:53,231
What's going on here?
411
00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:55,767
Riley, Ricozzi, my office right now!
412
00:15:55,769 --> 00:15:57,436
- You don't understand.
- No, you don't understand.
413
00:15:57,438 --> 00:15:59,471
Fighting comes with an
automatic suspension.
414
00:15:59,473 --> 00:16:01,924
But we weren't really fighting.
415
00:16:02,675 --> 00:16:06,711
- We were fake fighting.
- You were fake fighting?
416
00:16:06,713 --> 00:16:10,248
[crowd gasping]
417
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:13,585
[crowd chanting] Fakers! Fakers! Fakers!
418
00:16:13,587 --> 00:16:16,488
Fakers! Fakers! Fakers!
419
00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:19,658
[chanting continues]
420
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:22,828
First, you lost me my girl,
now you lost me my rep.
421
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:25,330
I'm sorry, Phil. I get how you feel.
422
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:27,166
I've been there.
423
00:16:27,174 --> 00:16:28,944
Just know that you can always sit with
424
00:16:29,036 --> 00:16:30,368
me and my buddies at lunch,
and we can...
425
00:16:34,107 --> 00:16:36,174
- Phil!
- Whoa!
426
00:16:37,778 --> 00:16:39,010
Alex?
427
00:16:39,012 --> 00:16:41,913
What are you doing here?
428
00:16:41,915 --> 00:16:43,782
I watched "Sliding Doors".
429
00:16:43,784 --> 00:16:45,617
It's a heck of a movie, man.
Classic Paltrow.
430
00:16:45,619 --> 00:16:48,753
Okay. Now, I'm scared.
431
00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:50,355
Don't be, man. Everything's fine.
432
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:52,023
I just wanted you to let you know
433
00:16:52,025 --> 00:16:53,925
that I understand why you
buried the Baby Glide.
434
00:16:53,927 --> 00:16:57,429
I hurt you in eighth grade,
you got me back 25 years later.
435
00:16:57,431 --> 00:16:59,197
It's perfectly reasonable.
436
00:16:59,199 --> 00:17:00,398
So you're not upset with me?
437
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,701
No, and you know why?
438
00:17:02,703 --> 00:17:04,803
- 'Cause I still have my goat.
- Your goat?
439
00:17:04,805 --> 00:17:07,320
Yeah, it was this thing you had
to have heard from earlier...
440
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:10,041
Trust me, it makes sense,
but you know what the difference
441
00:17:10,043 --> 00:17:10,965
between you and me is, Phil?
442
00:17:11,045 --> 00:17:14,246
I'm rich, I drive an Audi,
and I date a boat show model?
443
00:17:14,248 --> 00:17:18,884
No, well, yes, but also,
you rely on other people's ideas.
444
00:17:18,886 --> 00:17:20,352
People like me.
445
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,721
If you keep burning bridges,
you're gonna fail at this,
446
00:17:22,723 --> 00:17:24,155
just like you did at acting.
447
00:17:24,157 --> 00:17:24,996
You take that back!
448
00:17:25,092 --> 00:17:26,898
I saw your Lifetime movie, buddy.
449
00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:29,928
Your acting made Tara Reid
look like Dame Judi Dench.
450
00:17:31,298 --> 00:17:34,366
He was sweetest to his nieces,
Laci and Jennifer.
451
00:17:34,368 --> 00:17:36,835
And even though he didn't
have children of his own...
452
00:17:36,837 --> 00:17:39,204
You are going to say
something nice, aren't you?
453
00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:40,672
Of course.
454
00:17:40,674 --> 00:17:41,940
Not to mention the friendships...
455
00:17:41,942 --> 00:17:45,577
I have a good opener about him
probably not being a murderer.
456
00:17:45,579 --> 00:17:46,878
That's nice, right?
457
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:51,182
And now, I'd like to invite up
a very close friend of Phil's,
458
00:17:51,184 --> 00:17:53,518
Alex Riley, to say a few words.
459
00:18:00,794 --> 00:18:04,362
Phil was... well, he was always...
460
00:18:08,201 --> 00:18:11,436
All right, look, the truth is
that Phil was a jerk to me.
461
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,238
[crowd murmuring]
462
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,106
It's true!
I don't know what else to say,
463
00:18:15,108 --> 00:18:18,043
I mean the guy sucker
punched me in the face twice.
464
00:18:18,045 --> 00:18:20,045
Who does that?
465
00:18:20,047 --> 00:18:21,680
I mean...
466
00:18:21,682 --> 00:18:24,382
When I was a kid,
I was afraid of being punched,
467
00:18:24,384 --> 00:18:26,885
so I guess in a strange way,
468
00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:31,590
Phil did teach me how to face my fears.
469
00:18:31,592 --> 00:18:34,659
And also, that something you
thought was going to be bad
470
00:18:34,661 --> 00:18:37,362
can turn out to be better
than you ever imagined.
471
00:18:37,364 --> 00:18:40,098
Alex! You okay?
472
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,399
Yeah, I'm fine.
473
00:18:41,401 --> 00:18:43,234
Are you kidding? He's great!
474
00:18:43,236 --> 00:18:45,136
Surviving a Phil Ricozzi
punch to the face
475
00:18:45,138 --> 00:18:47,639
raises school cred by at least 27%.
476
00:18:49,843 --> 00:18:51,810
Totally worth it, right?
477
00:18:51,812 --> 00:18:54,112
Oh, yeah.
478
00:18:54,114 --> 00:18:57,048
[bright music]
479
00:18:57,050 --> 00:19:01,086
♪ ♪
480
00:19:01,088 --> 00:19:04,255
Now that I'm thinking about it,
he also taught me
481
00:19:04,257 --> 00:19:08,526
that motivation can come
from the most unlikely of places.
482
00:19:08,528 --> 00:19:12,397
And that success is the best revenge.
483
00:19:12,399 --> 00:19:15,033
♪ ♪
484
00:19:15,035 --> 00:19:16,935
It's 3:00 a.m. What are you doing up?
485
00:19:16,937 --> 00:19:19,004
I'm inspired like I
haven't been in years.
486
00:19:19,006 --> 00:19:20,349
We didn't get the Baby Glide back.
487
00:19:20,407 --> 00:19:23,274
Yeah, but that's motivated me
to come up with even better ideas.
488
00:19:23,276 --> 00:19:25,110
Easy-open applesauce jar.
489
00:19:25,112 --> 00:19:27,278
A clothing material that repels lint.
490
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,481
An app for your phone
that walks your dog!
491
00:19:29,483 --> 00:19:30,424
A phone walks your dog?
492
00:19:30,518 --> 00:19:32,550
Yeah, it's got like a leash
attachment that you put on...
493
00:19:32,586 --> 00:19:34,219
Look, they can't all be winners.
494
00:19:34,221 --> 00:19:35,987
- Yeah.
- But mark my words,
495
00:19:35,989 --> 00:19:38,056
in five years, we're gonna
have a company ten times
496
00:19:38,058 --> 00:19:40,859
- the size of Phil Ricozzi's.
- Damn straight.
497
00:19:40,861 --> 00:19:42,260
Hey, you know what I think we should do?
498
00:19:42,262 --> 00:19:44,496
Don't you even say another word.
499
00:19:44,498 --> 00:19:48,233
♪ We are gonna be rich
We are gonna be rich ♪
500
00:19:48,235 --> 00:19:49,300
Give me the money, give me the money.
501
00:19:49,336 --> 00:19:52,570
♪ We are gonna be rich
We are gonna be rich ♪
502
00:19:52,572 --> 00:19:54,372
♪ We are gonna be rich ♪
503
00:19:54,374 --> 00:19:57,876
One of those inventions
led to my greatest success,
504
00:19:57,878 --> 00:20:03,148
which made Riley Industries
known the world over.
505
00:20:03,150 --> 00:20:08,086
So I guess the truth is
that without Phil Ricozzi,
506
00:20:08,088 --> 00:20:10,422
I wouldn't be who I am today.
507
00:20:10,424 --> 00:20:12,257
So thank you, Phil,
508
00:20:12,259 --> 00:20:16,661
for reminding us there are
things worth fighting for.
509
00:20:16,663 --> 00:20:19,731
And for helping us to remember
the most important thing:
510
00:20:19,733 --> 00:20:22,467
Time is precious.
511
00:20:22,469 --> 00:20:25,737
And we shouldn't waste a moment of it.
512
00:20:25,739 --> 00:20:28,640
[stirring music]
513
00:20:28,642 --> 00:20:31,409
♪ ♪
514
00:20:31,411 --> 00:20:35,146
Rest in peace, buddy.
515
00:20:35,148 --> 00:20:42,454
♪ ♪
516
00:20:49,018 --> 00:20:50,695
Sneaky date.
517
00:20:50,696 --> 00:20:52,696
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
39171
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
