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1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:04,038
Fran, my head is so itchy.
2
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,273
I think I'm allergic to this hat.
3
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:08,576
Sweetie, I hope not.
4
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:11,912
I mean, it is so adorable.
5
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,683
You know what? Maybe you are allergic
to it.
6
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,587
-Bye, angel.
-Bye, Fran.
7
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,924
How dare you order me
about in that manner, sir.
8
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:27,461
After 30 years of loyal service, I think
I deserve a little more respect.
9
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,131
God, I wish he was home.
10
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,000
I am.
11
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,873
Why don't you cut him some slack?
12
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,808
I mean, he is your boss
13
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,576
and he's under a lot of pressure.
14
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:46,313
Stop trying to butter up the pompous brat.
I turned it off.
15
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,616
No, you turned it up.
16
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,124
Life is just not fair.
17
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,361
I'm as smart as he is,
as talented as he is.
18
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,931
Who thought up this system of the haves
and the have-nots anyway?
19
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:05,900
That would be the haves.
20
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:11,372
Doesn't working as a menial laborer
ever get to you?
21
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:14,041
No, this nanny gig is only temporary.
22
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:16,744
I got bigger dreams, baby.
23
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:20,581
Someday, I'm gonna be Mrs. Have.
24
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,052
And I'll be Mrs. Have's butler.
25
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,155
Not with that attitude, mister.
26
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:31,358
I'm sorry. I'm being a pill.
27
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,128
I can be peppy and make those
little chocolate cakes you like--
28
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,730
This is what it's come to.
I'm sucking up to the maid.
29
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,203
And you were this close to working for us.
30
00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:46,173
You know, all this anger and bitterness
31
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,009
is just a mask for low self-esteem.
32
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,245
Where does all this come from?
33
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:53,013
Hey, Niles, could you wash my underwear?
34
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,057
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
35
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,193
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
36
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:11,065
What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
37
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:13,968
So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
38
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,470
She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
39
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,506
She had style, she had flair
She was there
40
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:22,209
That's how she became the Nanny
41
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,945
Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
42
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,381
Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
43
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:30,017
-Now the father finds her beguiling
-Watch out, C.C.
44
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:32,686
-And the kids are actually smiling
-Such joie de vivre!
45
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:37,424
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
46
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,996
The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
47
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,371
Would you look at this?
48
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:54,775
Brighton leaves a half-eaten
3 Musketeers bar in his pants.
49
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:56,343
I love him.
50
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:03,584
I can tell you, your mother never left
any food in her pockets.
51
00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:08,689
Although I once found a chicken carcass.
52
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:14,595
Oh, God.
53
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,798
Beautiful.
54
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,168
Thank you.
55
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,941
No wonder the joint is empty.
56
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,380
Yetta, and to what do we owe the pleasure?
57
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:36,584
Sylvia told me to meet her for lunch.
58
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,152
I assumed here.
59
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,090
Miss Fine,
I have an important meeting tonight,
60
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:45,526
so I'm afraid I'm gonna have to reschedule
family night.
61
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,194
Reschedule?
62
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:53,233
But this is when you were gonna spend
quality time with me and the kids.
63
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:56,170
Don't you remember, dinner
and a romantic carriage ride,
64
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,505
after we dumped the kids at the movies?
65
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,509
Well, listen,
why don't you take them somewhere?
66
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,845
There you go.
I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful time.
67
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,615
You know, you're just spending
less and less time with the kids,
68
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:10,017
and they need a masculine influence.
69
00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:12,720
I'll go. I don't have any estrogen.
70
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,991
I'm sorry.
But I just think that it's important
71
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,259
that parents spend time
with their children.
72
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,196
They should talk to them
and take them shopping
73
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,666
and visit them all the time,
and eat them out of house and home,
74
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,735
and nag them about not being married.
75
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,137
When is Ma moving to Boca?
76
00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:34,575
I'll get it!
77
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,680
-Hi, Ma.
-Fran,
78
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,916
I'm sorry I'm late picking up Yetta.
I was at the gym.
79
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,688
When did you join a gym?
80
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,690
When they put in a muffin bar.
81
00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,562
Ma, you know, when they say
do 100 crunches,
82
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,364
they don't mean Nestlés.
83
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:01,301
Hi, sweetie.
84
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:05,072
Baby, stop scratching your head like that.
People are gonna think you got lice.
85
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,141
I do. They sent me home from school.
86
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,643
Oh, my God!
87
00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,413
It's a lice epidemic,
88
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,549
at your $14,000-a-year school.
89
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:20,220
Vermin they give you, but you still gotta
bring your own juice.
90
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:23,323
You better be careful.
91
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,326
Your father got lice
from his poker cronies.
92
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,329
Fortunately, I just threw his hair out.
93
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,637
Ma, this doesn't reflect well on me
at all.
94
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,839
I mean, how can I not know this?
95
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:42,376
I'm the closest person in the world
to these kids.
96
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,279
-Fran, it itches--
-That's close enough, sweetie. Bugs jump.
97
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,554
Okay, kids, you heard the doctor.
We've all got lice.
98
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:59,059
Take off your sheets and pillow cases.
We gotta boil 'em.
99
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:02,763
-Well, you want me to get yours?
-No, mine has to be burned.
100
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,499
I want that gorgeous Bill Blass
comforter set.
101
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,771
Well, isn't it amazing?
102
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:14,341
The doctor confirmed that
all three of your children have lice,
103
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,609
and me.
104
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,044
But you don't.
105
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:19,213
Now, what does that say to you?
106
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:23,417
It says, "Welcome to the Four Seasons
Maui, Mr. Sheffield."
107
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:30,924
No, it says you don't spend enough time
at home.
108
00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:33,494
If you cared about your children,
109
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,696
you'd be covered in lice like I am.
110
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:41,335
How did they penetrate six layers
of Final Net?
111
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,606
Like a biosphere up there.
112
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,378
Miss Fine, the reason
I'm not with my children
113
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,614
is that I happen to work very hard.
114
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,483
You don't see me lounging around the house
in my underwear.
115
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:59,853
And would it kill you to give it a shot?
116
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,360
You know, my father was a butler
for 44 years,
117
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,829
and I don't remember him
doing any of this crap.
118
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,401
Wait a minute, you dropped this.
119
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,739
"Secure alibi, cut phone line,
120
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,809
put on gloves, tape mouth.
121
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,613
Clean up blood, dispose of evidence...
122
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,682
Pick up bananas"?
123
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:35,389
Niles, what's with this cockamamie list?
124
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,725
Give me that. You didn't read it, did you?
125
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,663
Well, suppose for argument's sake, I did,
126
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,332
-what would you do?
-Miss Fine, this is very private.
127
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,466
And if you read it,
128
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,802
I would be very, very upset with you.
129
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,044
Well, that's why I didn't read it.
Bye-bye.
130
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,289
I'll tell you, Val, when I saw that list,
131
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,392
I just got chills up my spine.
132
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:15,062
Well, Fran, your suspicions are valid.
133
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:19,366
Obviously, his schizophrenic tendencies
are about to manifest themselves
134
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,201
in a homicidal rage.
135
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,837
Yeah, but what about the bananas?
136
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,077
Well, I'm no expert,
137
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,913
but I'm thinking, a pie.
138
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:39,620
Excuse me.
139
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:44,424
I called earlier about picking up
the special shampoos.
140
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,194
The name's Fran Fine.
141
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,531
Hey, Rick, Fran Fine's here
for her head lice shampoo.
142
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,602
Here it is.
143
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:59,006
"Fran Fine. Kills lice, ticks, fleas--"
144
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:12,286
Look at this, I'm getting attitude
from a man holding a Fleet enema.
145
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,292
I'm telling you, Fran,
Niles fits the profile.
146
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,628
Serial killers usually have menial jobs,
147
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,630
no long-term relationships,
148
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,899
and deep-seated issues with their mother.
149
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:32,406
No. Wait, wait.
They usually have high IQ's.
150
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,374
-Val, I'm sorry.
-Oh, God.
151
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:35,742
I'm with you.
152
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:40,647
Okay. Okay. Let's see.
153
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,583
Most serial killers have three names.
154
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:47,888
John Wayne Gacy, Richard Alan Speck,
Son of Sam.
155
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,894
Val, what are we talking about here?
156
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,863
We're not dealing
with some sicko stranger.
157
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,566
-Yeah.
-It's Niles. I know him very well.
158
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:02,569
I stand behind Mr. Niles...
159
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:05,672
The killer.
160
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:11,611
Fran, I cannot believe that you have lived
in the same house
161
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:14,414
with Niles for four years and
you know nothing about him.
162
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,783
Have you ever even been in his bedroom?
163
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:21,021
Val, that wasn't the bedroom
I was concentrating on getting into.
164
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,203
Niles' room is so....
165
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,072
So small and depressing.
166
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:44,444
You know, no wonder he's always
walking past your room and looking in,
167
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,381
-he's envious.
-No, he's horny.
168
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:51,318
Honey,
169
00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:54,087
come on, we gotta find
some incriminating evidence.
170
00:10:58,392 --> 00:11:00,827
-What?
-Look at this. Duct tape.
171
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:02,629
Wait a minute.
172
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:05,499
He's not Jewish.
He knows how to fix things.
173
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,533
Yeah.
174
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,942
Hey, this is Niles. Leave me a message
175
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,677
and I'll call you back. Ciao.
176
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:24,051
It's Jim from the morgue,
returning your call.
177
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,318
In answer to your question,
178
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,854
it takes 24 hours
for rigor mortis to set in.
179
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,558
Oh, my God!
180
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,760
What does he need to know that for?
181
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,696
Maybe, it's to bake a banana pie, Val.
182
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,808
-What? What?
-His closet's twice as big as mine.
183
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,013
Look at this.
184
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,582
He wears the same thing every day.
185
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,784
He's like Fred Flintstone.
186
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:02,389
I'll be right there, sir.
I'm just getting my coat.
187
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:10,664
So I can trudge six blocks
through snow and sludge
188
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,900
because you had a craving
for bloody string cheese.
189
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,893
You know, Nanny Fine, I always
suspected you studied child care
190
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:40,961
with Dian Fossey.
191
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:48,268
Yeah, honey, I think the tar shampoo
took care of all of the lice.
192
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,272
And it smells so nice and fresh, too,
like a newly-filled pothole.
193
00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:54,774
-Thanks, Fran.
-Love you.
194
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,810
-Look at this.
-What?
195
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,679
No coffee. Where the heck is Rubbermaid?
196
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:05,051
Miss Babcock, don't antagonize him.
197
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,021
-He's on the edge.
-Good. How can we get him to jump?
198
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,592
Miss Babcock, I'm serious.
199
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,594
He hasn't been himself.
200
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:17,397
He's acting very weird, strange.
201
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:18,832
Haven't you noticed?
202
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,835
There's not one toilet bowl
in this entire house
203
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,136
with blue water in it.
204
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,974
You know, Nanny Fine, listening to you
205
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,476
talk about Niles
206
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:32,379
makes me just wanna hit my head
against a brick wall.
207
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,921
Miss Babcock, you know, I am not going
to tell you what I know
208
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:44,491
-if you're not a little bit nicer to me.
-Buzz off.
209
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:45,992
That's close enough.
210
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,329
I think
211
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:52,899
Niles might be a murderer.
212
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:57,003
Nanny Fine, Niles would never kill anyone.
213
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,739
Because then he'd make a mess
and he'd have to clean it up.
214
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,010
I'm serious. I read the list.
215
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:07,581
It had gloves, wire cutters, blood and--
216
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,784
You bake it in a 9-inch pan at 300 degrees
217
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,220
-and you got yourself a gorgeous kugel.
-Miss Fine.
218
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,424
Miss Fine, what were you doing in my room?
219
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:20,760
Well, what makes you think
I was in your room?
220
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,076
I gotta tell Mr. Sheffield.
221
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,844
Out of my way. Dead man walking.
222
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:44,317
Oh, my God, this is all so surreal.
How am I gonna tell him?
223
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:47,254
I'll just have to lay the whole thing out
in black and white.
224
00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:59,299
Boss, thank God, you're here.
225
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,236
Hello, monkey face. How's tricks?
226
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:08,108
Well, you look frightened.
Whatever's the matter?
227
00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:09,743
For one thing,
228
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,078
there's no Venetian blinds in here.
229
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:17,684
-I'll have the butler fix you a highball.
-No. Not the butler.
230
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:21,488
-I think our butler's trying to ice me.
-"Our"?
231
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:26,126
Ours, yours, don't mince words
with me now, you chump.
232
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,533
He's trying to kill me.
I think he poisoned me.
233
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,036
I'm seeing spots in front of my eyes.
234
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,882
Well, maybe he's not forcing me,
235
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:52,018
but I want him out of the house,
I tell you, out of the house.
236
00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:55,588
Darling, I've known the butler 30 years.
237
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,091
We've had many gay times together.
238
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,728
Shared a fag or two between us.
239
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:08,234
And I can tell you, if there was anything
queer about him, I'd know it.
240
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,275
So, In other words, you had some fun,
you smoked a few cigarettes
241
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,010
and there's nothing strange about him?
242
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,446
-Of course.
-Just making sure.
243
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,554
You think I'm ready for the looney bin,
don't you?
244
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,823
The booby hatch, the rubber room.
245
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,958
Don't ya? Don't ya?
246
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,497
Frankly, darling, yes.
247
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,134
And I find it very disconcerting.
248
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,703
I was thinking of asking you
to be my wife,
249
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,740
but I could never marry someone
I thought was insane.
250
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,278
No sense opening up that can of worms.
251
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:03,390
Val, Val, he's not gonna try anything
with a house full of people.
252
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,924
I mean, what's he gonna do,
253
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,160
sneak up behind me and grab me?
254
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,763
Let's stop talking about
Mr. Sheffield already.
255
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:16,169
Niles knows we were in his room.
256
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:17,637
Val?
257
00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:19,839
Val?
258
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:28,314
Boo!
259
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:36,990
Well, I sort of had that coming.
260
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,861
Miss Fine, I've been thinking
about what you said, you know,
261
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:44,964
and you're absolutely right,
I do need to spend more time alone
262
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:47,834
-with the children.
-That's great, Mr. Sheffield,
263
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:51,237
because, you know, children really need
the attention of their father.
264
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,339
So, you and Niles have the house
to yourselves tonight.
265
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,909
-I'm taking them out.
-You're smothering them.
266
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,813
You are gonna turn them into wimps,
mister.
267
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,615
What are you talking about?
This was your idea.
268
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:03,850
Need I say more?
269
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:07,620
Miss Fine, I have cleared
my entire evening
270
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,122
to bond with my children.
271
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,424
Now move it! We're going for seafood.
272
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,828
-We're going for lobster.
-Here we go. So great.
273
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,529
-Bye.
-Mr. Sheffield,
274
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,132
I don't care if you do think I'm insane,
I'm coming with you.
275
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,201
I believe Niles is a murderer.
276
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:24,404
And if you leave me alone here,
I'm in danger of being killed.
277
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:28,041
Is there anything you wouldn't do,
for a four-pound lobster?
278
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:33,179
I don't care what you say.
I'm going with you.
279
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:36,216
There is no way you are leaving me alone
with that man,
280
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,717
because it is just too--
281
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:44,591
-You're not going anywhere, are you?
-No. What makes you say that?
282
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:46,926
I'm glad we're alone.
283
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,396
Yeah. You, me and that piercing voice
284
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,899
-that carries to the neighbors.
-Miss Fine,
285
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,302
-I know you know.
-Nothing, I know nothing.
286
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,639
Miss Fine, you found my list.
You went into my closet.
287
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,441
It's obvious, you figured it out.
288
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,911
Look at this. Texas has the death penalty.
289
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,980
Boy, they're frying them like chickens
down there.
290
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,851
So, you are going to be my first victim.
291
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,153
Who knows? If tonight goes really well,
292
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,955
you might be the first of many.
293
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,925
I think, I finally found my true calling.
294
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:22,595
But you make a great cheesecake.
I say stick with what you know.
295
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,702
Miss Fine? Miss Fine?
296
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,149
Miss Fine. Miss Fine, please wake up.
297
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,753
-Why is she acting like such a lunatic?
-Well, have you gotten a load
298
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:47,854
of the birth mother?
299
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,359
She thinks you're a killer. She even
thought you were trying to kill me.
300
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,461
I wouldn't dream of touching you,
301
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,196
like any other normal man.
302
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,034
Miss Fine.
303
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,804
-Stay away from me.
-Miss Fine, I'm not a murderer.
304
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,941
All I did was write a play.
I was going to ask you to read it.
305
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:11,277
Please, you expect me to believe that?
306
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:15,415
I read the list.
You explain "Secure alibi."
307
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,316
That was the title.
308
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,417
Why'd you call the morgue?
309
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:18,418
I was doing research.
310
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:21,254
-Well, what about the bananas?
-I was making a pie.
311
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,994
-Well, where is it?
-Your mother was here.
312
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:34,667
I'm so embarrassed.
Boy, I see everything so clearly now.
313
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,369
How could I be such a yenta?
314
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,138
Meanwhile, what was that magazine
S&M on your bed?
315
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:42,175
Miss Fine, that is a professional
publication for butlers,
316
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,010
Sweeping and Mopping.
317
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:49,215
Miss Fine, now that we're friends again,
I would be honored if you read my play.
318
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,417
After all, you were the inspiration.
319
00:20:52,185 --> 00:20:55,154
You mean, my newfound independence
gave you the confidence
320
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,390
-to try something new?
-Well, that,
321
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,425
and the main character is driven
to madness
322
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,327
by unrequited love for her employer,
323
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,363
for whom she gives up
her youth and beauty.
324
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:10,470
Mr. Sheffield, what are you doing home
so early?
325
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:14,307
Well, unfortunately, some uninvited pests
joined us for dinner.
326
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,209
You ran into my parents?
327
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:18,911
No. Lice.
328
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,583
Mr. Sheffield, you've got lice.
329
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,418
Mazel tov.
330
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:29,188
That means you've really bonded
with your children.
331
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:32,191
Dad, we're starving.
Can't we at least order a pizza?
332
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:35,228
Sweetie, your father promised you lobster,
333
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,063
and lobster you shall have,
334
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:39,899
even if I've gotta take you for it myself.
335
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:45,004
-No, that's okay. Pizza's fine.
-Honey, we don't wanna insult your father.
336
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:46,372
Let's go. Let's go.
337
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,942
-You sure you don't wanna come?
-Miss Fine, I've got lice.
338
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:51,611
It itches like mad. I've just got home.
339
00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:53,246
Why on earth would I want to go back out?
340
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:58,284
Because Niles wrote a play.
341
00:21:58,618 --> 00:21:59,719
After you.
342
00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:08,728
You know, Niles, this heroine
that you loosely based off of me,
343
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:11,097
-I'm not seeing it.
-Well, why?
344
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,732
She's exactly like you.
345
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:16,803
New Yorker, street-smart, brunette,
24 years old.
346
00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:17,770
Seeing it.
347
00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:24,043
Isn't it time to pick up Yetta
at the amusement park?
348
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:26,012
Let her have a few more rides.
25970
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