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1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:04,000
Hey, Bobbie, I just got your message.
2
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:06,800
I can't believe they want me
on Inside the Actors Studio.
3
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,200
It's a real honor. I'm so proud of you.
Why don't we talk about...
4
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,800
...what clips you're gonna use.
5
00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,300
Actually, I had a cool idea.
6
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:15,600
I thought the aspiring actors in
the crowd...
7
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:18,500
...might like to see
some of my unsuccessful auditions.
8
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,800
It'll show them that even a great actor
doesn't get every part he's up for.
9
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,000
Joey Tribbiani, King Kong screen test.
10
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:26,800
Action.
11
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:39,000
Sir, sir, you know you're not reading
for the part of the ape.
12
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,000
That one wasn't as good
as I remembered.
13
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,100
Oh, here's a good one.
14
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,400
Joey Tribbiani, Capote screen test.
15
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,000
Action.
16
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,900
I'm Truman Capote.
17
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:55,600
I understand that you and your brother
were involved in a heinous crime.
18
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,600
Thank you.
19
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,900
Batman Begins screen test.
20
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000
Action.
21
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,000
Who are you?
22
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,900
I'm the Batman.
23
00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:12,400
I'm bringing Gotham dark justice.
24
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:15,700
Boy, I really locked into
that Capote voice.
25
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:17,900
I like it.
26
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,400
Hey, what should I say
when James Lipton asks me this question:
27
00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:56,800
"If there is a God, what do you want him
to say when you get to heaven?"
28
00:01:56,900 --> 00:02:01,800
How about, "Hi, Joey. I'm God.
Can you teach me how to be awesome?"
29
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,100
That's not bad.
30
00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:08,700
- Don't you get nervous in front of a group?
- No.
31
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:13,200
For the first time, I have to give
a closing argument and I'm freaking out.
32
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,900
Well, I'm an actor, and I actually have
a proven cure for stage fright.
33
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:19,700
Although, it is somewhat sexual
in nature.
34
00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:21,700
- What is it?
- Having sex.
35
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:23,700
- Joey...
- I've helped...
36
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,300
...a number of actresses
get over their stage fright.
37
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:29,200
A night with me has also been known
to cure a fear of flying...
38
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:31,700
...and in one instance, appendicitis.
39
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,300
Well, I appreciate the offer,
but I told you, I need more time.
40
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:38,400
I'm not ready to be
more than friends right now.
41
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,400
Bitches, huh?
42
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,900
Hey, just a second, I'm on the phone,
I just gotta...
43
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,800
She'll call you back.
44
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,100
What's up with us?
45
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,100
- What?
- I like you.
46
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:02,800
- Do you like me?
- Well, yeah...
47
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,100
Then why are we doing this?
48
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,300
Well, as I've told you,
I've been through a lot in this last year.
49
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,600
The women on my online
divorce message board...
50
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,500
Too many words.
51
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:14,200
- What?
- Nothing that means anything...
52
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:17,200
...takes that many words to say.
Try it again.
53
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,300
Okay.
54
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,500
I've had a lot of complicated feelings
to process...
55
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,600
And my emotions... What are you doing?
56
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,800
Because of the passage of time,
I now have a long beard...
57
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,800
...that I'm stroking sarcastically.
58
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:34,600
You don't have the best track record.
What if it didn't work...
59
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:37,600
...and we end up hating each other?
- But we wanna be together.
60
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,800
It'd be crazy if we didn't at least try.
61
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:41,800
Now, come on,
just go on one date with me.
62
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,300
I'll take you to Inside the Actors Studio.
After that, we'll go out...
63
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,600
...and I'll show you how great
you and me could be.
64
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,500
- Okay. But I just think...
- No, don't think.
65
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,900
Just do it.
66
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,500
All right.
67
00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:00,400
That's actually a pretty catchy slogan,
huh? "Don't think. "
68
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:05,400
Sit down.
69
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,800
All right, I got something
I wanna talk about.
70
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,300
You know how much I love your sister,
your mother.
71
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,900
I mean, I love her so much...
72
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:14,600
...I wanna chop her head off
and jump off a cliff with it.
73
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:20,200
So what I'm saying is,
I've decided to ask her to marry me.
74
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,700
Wait, you know how much I hate this.
75
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:26,100
I'm gonna give you guys exactly
five seconds to be emotional.
76
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,600
- Oh, my God!
- Yes! I can't believe...
77
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:31,500
You're not a bastard child anymore!
78
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:32,700
Enough!
79
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000
So do you have a ring?
80
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:38,200
Well, there's a ring in my family,
but my mom won't die.
81
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,600
So I might have to buy the thing
on my own.
82
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:43,300
I'm having a little trouble
scraping together the money.
83
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:46,600
You could sign up for these clinical trials
my friend at school runs.
84
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,600
Just trying new medications for heartburn
and allergies and stuff.
85
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:51,400
- You can make good money.
- Sign me up.
86
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,500
I'll call her.
87
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:55,300
God, I've always dreamt
about my parents getting married.
88
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,900
You know, I have my own
ring bearer pillow, hint, hint.
89
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,900
Call your friend!
90
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,200
Jimmy Costa? Come on in.
91
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,300
Is this your partner for the drug trial?
92
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,500
Partner? No, I'm just his ride.
93
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:14,500
We're only accepting applications in pairs
so you can check each other's reactions.
94
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,300
Really?
95
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,200
Is this gonna mess me up?
96
00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:22,500
Is there anything I can't eat
on this medication?
97
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,500
No, you should eat as you have been.
98
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:27,100
Wow, that seems really unsafe.
99
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,100
So we're testing
a new antidepressant today...
100
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:34,300
...and we're offering $2000
for one week.
101
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:38,500
Now, if you'd like to participate, I need you
to consent to a quick psychological test...
102
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,900
For 2 grand, you can drill a hole in my skull
and touch my brain with your finger.
103
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,900
Do it.
104
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,000
Why don't we start with you.
105
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,200
This is a simple Rorschach test.
106
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:55,700
I'm gonna show you a series of inkblots
and you tell me what they look like, okay?
107
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:56,800
Got it.
108
00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:58,400
And don't censor yourself at all.
109
00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:01,800
Whatever these shapes remind you of,
that's what I wanna hear.
110
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,800
Oh, yeah. No filter.
111
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,800
Inkblot.
112
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,700
- Could you be more specific?
- Right, sorry.
113
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,300
Black inkblot.
114
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:19,100
Stain. Blob.
Blob making a stain on an inkblot.
115
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:22,100
Man, I have got some stuff
going on up here.
116
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,900
The year was 1996.
117
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,100
Benjamin Netanyahu was elected
prime minister of Israel.
118
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:38,300
Scientist Dr. Lan Wilmut successfully
cloned a sheep named Dolly.
119
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:44,300
And American television viewers were
paid a house call by Dr. Drake Ramoray.
120
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,400
Is the good doctor in?
May we speak to him?
121
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,400
Hello.
122
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,900
No, no, wait, wait, wait.
123
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,600
Hello. That's it. That's how he talked.
124
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:06,000
Tell me something.
When the cameras are on...
125
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:11,000
...at the moment of creation,
what's going through your mind?
126
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,200
Nothing.
127
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:19,100
Because you're so in the moment.
Could you do it now?
128
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:22,800
Think of nothing for us.
129
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,800
Students...
130
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:33,300
...nothing.
131
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,200
I also have another trick that I use.
132
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,400
Once I've drawn you in with my intensity,
my eyes will never let you go.
133
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,100
Like Michael Caine, I never blink. Watch.
134
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:57,900
See that? I'm holding you. Feel it?
135
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,700
You feel the power.
136
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,800
Well, now it's time
for the Pivot questionnaire.
137
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,800
What is your favorite word?
138
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,700
Fun-sational.
139
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,000
It means awesome.
140
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,800
Then this evening is fun-sational.
141
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:20,200
- What turns you on?
- I'm turned on right now.
142
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,900
What would you like to hear God say
when you arrive at the pearly gates?
143
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:27,600
"Welcome to heaven,
here is your chocolate motorcycle. "
144
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,200
There's magic in you, Joey.
145
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,600
Now, let's take some questions.
146
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:36,500
Hi, Joey.
147
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,200
I guess my question for you is...
148
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:41,300
...when we went out,
why didn't you ever call me back?
149
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:45,500
I've never seen this woman
before in my life.
150
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:48,000
So why don't you go back
to Pasadena, Jackie?
151
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,900
My question is kind of a follow-up
to the last one.
152
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,000
What kind of a guy sleeps with a girl...
153
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,100
...and then sneaks out
of her bathroom window?
154
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,700
Clearly, you have me confused
with someone else...
155
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:04,000
...because that never happened.
156
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:07,900
I have a question. How many women here
have you slept with?
157
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,200
Just those two, I think.
158
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:14,500
Hands are raised. I count 14.
159
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:18,300
You're three ahead of Gene Wilder
and 150 behind Johnny Depp.
160
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,100
So he just lied to you
and then he never called you again?
161
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:22,300
Oh, yeah, that's Joey.
162
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:25,700
He makes you feel like you're special,
then he's on to the next girl.
163
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,900
And is that what happened
with all of you?
164
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:33,900
No, no... No questions between each other.
Lipton, stop them. Somebody do something.
165
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,500
Can you explain how you managed...
166
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:38,100
...to overcome your handicap
of being so handsome?
167
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:40,200
Not now, Howard.
168
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:48,700
- Alex is pretty upset about last night, huh?
- It was awful.
169
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:51,800
I can't believe how many angry women
were there that I slept with.
170
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,200
- Hey.
- Hey.
171
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,800
- Did you take your pill today?
- Yeah. You?
172
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,800
Yeah, I feel like they're
really working on me, you know.
173
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:05,000
I feel so relaxed and contented,
a great cloud has lifted.
174
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,300
How you doing, buddy?
175
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:18,000
- These pills been ruining your sex drive?
- That's a side effect?
176
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:21,900
Yeah, Gina and I haven't done it
since I started taking the stuff.
177
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,900
But I can't tell her
because I want the ring to be a surprise.
178
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,900
Oh, is this where you're meeting
your whore? At my brother's house?
179
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:32,300
- I told you, there's nobody else.
- Then why won't you sleep with me?
180
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:37,100
I have tried everything that turns him on.
I have slapped him, I have insulted him.
181
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,300
Watch this. Die! Die!
182
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,300
Gina, when you choke me
it hurts my feelings.
183
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,900
I give up. That's about as sexy as I get.
184
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,000
So this sex-drive thing
hasn't affected you at all?
185
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,100
Come on, Jimmy.
186
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,500
They don't make a drug strong enough
to kill my sex drive.
187
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:00,500
If you'll excuse me...
188
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:04,800
...this month's Playboy has an interesting
q and a with Alan Greenspan.
189
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,600
Oh, my God!
190
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,300
I can't picture boobs!
What do boobs look like?
191
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,000
- He can't be having side effects.
- What do you mean?
192
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000
My friend put him in the placebo group.
193
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,700
Like, this is all just the power
of suggestion.
194
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,000
- Hey, Joe.
- What?
195
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,700
- Says "side effects include dry mouth. "
- I know!
196
00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,100
- My mouth... It's like a desert.
- Yeah?
197
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:35,100
- Oh, and "dizziness. "
- Oh, my God, the spinning.
198
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:42,600
Alex, I know you're in there.
Stop ignoring me.
199
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:44,500
Okay, fine.
200
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:49,500
I am going on a hunger strike
until you come out and talk to me.
201
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,800
Oh, my God, I'm so hungry.
202
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:05,000
- Joey, can we not do this right now?
- No, we need to talk about last night.
203
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:08,400
Last night, you told me I was gonna see
what it was like to be with you.
204
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,000
Those girls showed me.
I don't wanna end up like them.
205
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:13,800
- But you're different.
- That's what you said to Christine.
206
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,700
You're confused, none of those girls
were named Christine.
207
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,900
Two of them were named Christine.
208
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:23,000
Wait, wait, wait, look, I admit,
okay, with those girls...
209
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,300
...I might've been a tad mendacious.
210
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,900
Learned it from Lipton.
211
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:31,400
I know it means something bad because
the next word he used was "ass-face. "
212
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:34,800
But, Alex, you can't compare yourself
to those girls.
213
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,500
You and I were friends first.
I really care about you.
214
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,200
That is exactly why it would hurt so much
if it didn't work out.
215
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,400
Look, I'm the only one taking a risk here.
216
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:47,300
You must've hurt hundreds of women.
I've hurt zero men.
217
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,800
I just... I don't like my odds.
218
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,100
- Joey, you need to talk to your friend.
- Why, what's going on?
219
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:02,600
After three days, I finally get him into bed
and he spends the whole time holding me.
220
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,400
What the hell is that?
221
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,100
This isn't worth it.
222
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,300
You gotta tell her what you're doing
or get money some other way.
223
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:14,500
I'm not sure I want the money anymore.
I'm having second thoughts.
224
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,300
What? Why?
225
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:19,500
A few days without sex, it's like Gina and I
got nothing in common.
226
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:22,100
We don't have enough to build
a lifelong relationship.
227
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,000
Oh, Jimmy, what are you talking about?
228
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,900
What if the spark goes away for real?
229
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,200
You know, what if she loses interest
in sex?
230
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,300
What if I'm on the high seas
and a swordfish gores my testicles...
231
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,900
...rendering me impotent?
232
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:36,800
Jimmy, we're all afraid of that.
233
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,700
There's Alex. I gotta go talk to her, okay?
234
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:48,200
Hey. Okay, look, I understand your concerns
about my past.
235
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:50,600
So I have decided to change.
236
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:53,900
Right, as a first step, I threw
my little black book in the dumpster.
237
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,700
- Really?
- Yeah.
238
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,800
Some homeless guy has no idea
he's about to get Tara Reid's phone number.
239
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:04,300
But you can't just erase your past
just because you threw away some book.
240
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,000
Then tell me.
What do you want me to do?
241
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:09,200
I don't think there's anything you can do.
242
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:14,400
I mean, if we dated, everywhere we'd go,
we'd run into some random woman...
243
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,600
...that you'd slept with. I'm sorry, Joey,
but I deserve better than that.
244
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,700
Hey, Alex,
I had a great time the other night.
245
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,600
Oh, yeah... Hey, Barry.
246
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,800
- What was the other night?
- It was nothing.
247
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:41,000
Oh, good, as long as it was nothing.
Barry? Hey, Bar!
248
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:43,200
- Do I know you?
- No, no, no.
249
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,100
Alex was just telling me
about your hot date the other night.
250
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,400
Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
251
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:53,300
- How do you guys know each other?
- It's a funny story, she's a friend...
252
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:57,100
...and she dated this guy in the building
I'm about to punch in the face.
253
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,800
- What?
- Meathead, you're the guy. Get out of here!
254
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,200
You're seeing someone else?
I don't understand.
255
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,400
I wanna be with you,
but you ask me to wait.
256
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:15,300
So I try to be a good guy
and give you your space...
257
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,500
...and that's what you do?
258
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,000
- I wasn't...
- No, Alex.
259
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:23,600
You're worried about women from my past?
But you're dating someone right now?
260
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,600
The mendacity.
261
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,000
Yeah.
262
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,300
Man, am I glad that test is over.
Those things were killing me.
263
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:41,200
Hey, did you know, Michael told me
that I was in the placebo group?
264
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,300
He said that all my side effects
were just the power of suggestion.
265
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,200
But I don't think that can explain it.
266
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,500
- I think it can.
- Yeah, you're right.
267
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,800
Here comes Gina. Do you know
what you're gonna do?
268
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:55,200
No, man. I still don't know
if we're meant to be together.
269
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,700
Hey, they had a cancellation
at the shooting range.
270
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:01,300
You wanna come with me,
or are you still on your period?
271
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:06,900
- You wanna do that with me?
- Yeah.
272
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,600
You haven't been yourself lately.
And I know I haven't been understanding.
273
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,900
I thought you'd like
to fire a weapon at something.
274
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,100
That's exactly what I want.
275
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:18,800
I'll go grab my gun.
276
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,400
It's in a brown paper bag
behind Michael's dresser.
277
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:25,200
- You told me that was a bag of broccoli.
- Because I didn't want you playing with it.
278
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,900
Did you see that?
That was freaking beautiful.
279
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,300
You know, I don't know
why I ever doubted her.
280
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,200
Well, looks like I'm going back
to the jewelry store.
281
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,600
What do you mean back?
282
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:39,700
I might've done something I regret while
under the influence of antidepressants.
283
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,400
Hey, guys.
284
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:47,500
- What is that around your neck?
- Oh, this? It's a pendant.
285
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,900
It was a gift from Jimmy.
286
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:59,100
It says, "My Daddy Loves Me. "
And I love him too. Come here.
287
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:01,200
Gina, what's the holdup on the gun?
288
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,300
- Hey.
- Hey.
289
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,600
Look, I really need to talk to you
about this Barry thing.
290
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:19,500
Great, let's talk.
He seems like a great guy.
291
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:25,800
Look, he asked me out. And you know,
this thing with you is so complicated.
292
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,800
I thought I could use some distraction
from all this emotionally...
293
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,600
Stop stroking your fake beard.
294
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,300
What I'm saying is we just went to dinner,
nothing happened.
295
00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:40,000
But if I hurt you, I'm sorry.
296
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,200
Well, you did.
297
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,500
It's funny. You were the one who said
we shouldn't be together...
298
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:54,100
...because you were worried
about getting hurt, and I didn't get it.
299
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,100
But I get it now.
300
00:17:56,900 --> 00:18:01,600
And you're right.
It'd be crazy for us to get together.
301
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:04,300
- Yeah, so we shouldn't do it.
- No, we shouldn't.
302
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000
But I wanna do it anyway.
303
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,800
What?
304
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,800
It's a risk...
305
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,500
...but you're worth it.
306
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,100
Joey, I wanna be with you too...
307
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:22,100
...but when I was in that audience
and all those girls started...
308
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:25,200
Okay, yeah, yeah. Here, here.
309
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:32,600
Yeah. I have been with a lot of women.
310
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:35,100
- I mean, a lot.
- Okay.
311
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:36,300
"A lot" a lot.
312
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,700
If you're waiting for a high-five,
it's not coming.
313
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:42,400
Wow, that's cold.
314
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,500
The point is...
315
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,600
...because of them,
I know what I want.
316
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,500
And it's not them...
317
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,200
...it's you.
318
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:59,000
And, yeah, maybe it would be stupid
for us to get together...
319
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,800
...but, Alex, we'd both
be taking a chance here.
320
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,800
Let's... Let's do it together.
321
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,900
Do something stupid with me.
322
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:17,500
I guess if I'm gonna do something stupid,
you're the guy to do it with.
323
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,000
I'm the best.
324
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:43,100
Okay, well, this is great.
325
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,800
Would you like to go out
on our first date?
326
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:50,400
Yeah. Oh, wait. I have to get up really early
for that closing argument tomorrow...
327
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,300
...and I'm freaking out.
- Oh, right.
328
00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:02,900
Hey, didn't you mention something
about a proven cure for stage fright?
329
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,700
I believe I did.
330
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,400
Come on.
331
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:13,500
- Hey, wait, don't you have hay fever?
- Yeah.
332
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,500
- Well, this will take care of that too.
- Okay.
333
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:26,000
Hello?
334
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,700
Tara Reid?
335
00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:31,200
My name's Howard Peckerman.
336
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,700
You don't know me...
337
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:36,200
...but how'd you like to meet me
at Houston's for a mojito?
338
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:40,300
Great, I'll see you there. Yeah!
27949
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