All language subtitles for Below.Deck.Mediterranean.S05E12.Theres.No.Place.Like.Home.HDTV.x264-CRiMSON_track1_nor

- Previously on
"below deck med"...

- Lady...
- If you don't mind...

- ...Don't touch me.

- We've been working very hard
to get a strong second stew.

It's bugsy.

All the guests are at the table,

and no one has been
to check on them.

I feel like you've
sort of resigned.

- Really?

See you guys.

- Thomas is in madrid.

- Is he coming to palma?

- He's on his way
to go see his family...

- Oh.

- ...So he's stopping
here to see me.

- And he's, like, a real chef?
- He is.

- Could you help me out?

- I'd certainly be
happen to help out.

- I'd like to room with tom, and
then that makes one stew cabin.

- Putting me and bugs together
is not going to happen.

[ gasping ]

- you hired tom as a team.

- I didn't hire tom.

- ----Ing man up
and share a cabin.

[ camera shutter clicking ]

- david?

- Hey, could you come
in my office, please?

I just need to do the
procedures and the protocol,

and I want you to be there
for the whole thing.

- Hi, sandy.
- Hi.

Oh, you know what,
perfect timing.

- Yes.
- I need...

Sorry, I need you in here.

Um, you're going to find that...

Yeah, you can close the door.

- Okay, I'm shutting the door.

- Have a seat.

- This isn't yours,
by any chance, is it?

- No.
- No.

- I don't have a robe.

Um, hannah, it's been
brought to my attention

that you have drugs on board.

- Hannah, it's been
brought to my attention

that you have drugs on
board, and that you...

- My valium?

- And pot, and that
you haven't presented

a prescription for that.

Your valium was laid out
with your pot in your cabin.

- That's honestly just
in my bag from l.A.

- Can you just
let me finish, please?

- Okay.
- This is very serious.

Management's involved.

I have to do a
disciplinary action,

but I wanna follow the protocol,

and we're gonna go through
this by the book.

- Okay.
- Okay?

The violations are posted
in the laundry room.

You need a prescription.

I can't go to sea with
someone doing drugs.

So what I would like for you
to do is go get your valium

and your pot pen and
bring it in here.

- Okay.

But just so you know,
I've actually not taken

one valium since I got on board.

- Let's just do this
by the book, okay?

You need a prescription.

Bring that.
Could you do that now?

- Okay.
- Because I can't ignore this.

- Okay.

- Hey, bugs.
- Hey.

- Oh, sorry... Are the towels
still in upper vip?

- Yeah, I'm gonna move them now.

- The fact that the marijuana
pen's on the boat...

- Should I be in
the cabin with her?

You think she's
flushing everything?

I'm gonna go and make sure,
like, it's not being destroyed.

[bleep] me.

Hannah?

Don't... Don't...
Can you please bring your...

- Sure, can I...
- Bring it all, just...

- ...Go to the bathroom?
- Yeah, but gimme your drugs.

- I was just coming.

- Okay. Where's your letter?

There's... Do you have...
This is all you have?

- Yes.

- There's nothing else?
Do you have a prescription?

- No.

- Okay. All right.
I just...

- Can I just pee?

- Yeah, but I just need this,

because I wanna get through
this, like, very quickly.

- Okay.
- Because I don't wanna...

We have a charter that starts...

- I know, I understand.
- Okay, okay.

- Valium, I don't have
a prescription for.

- How long do we have?
- Till 12:00, I think.

- I'm just preparing
for a great first day.

I get so excited thinking that
oh, my god, I'm gonna work

on this awesome boat
with this awesome crew.

This is cool.
This is actually happening.

- This is a nightmare.

- What do I do?

- At this point, hannah,
with everything

that's been going on with you,

hyperventilating at 4:00 a.M.
On the floor with malia...

- Right now, I can't
go to sea with you.

I don't...
I have clients, I have...

- Okay.
- ...People, so I...

Are you gonna finish,
let me finish?

I have the utmost compassion
for you, but at this point,

for the rest of the season,

I'm gonna finish
it just with the crew.

It's not worth it to me.
I am a captain.

I worked very hard
for my license,

and I don't wanna
take that risk.

- Yeah, okay.

- There's, like, too much
that's been going on

- okay.
- Okay.

- Could I have
my valium, please?

Thank you.
I'll pack now.

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- For the rest of the season

ri'm gonna finish itwer
mojust with the crew.Eal.

It's not worth it to me.
I am a captain.

I worked very hard
for my license,

and I don't wanna
take that risk.

- Yeah, okay.

- There's, like, too much
that's been going on.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Could I have
my valium, please?

Thank you.
I'll pack now.

- Yo.

- Thanks.

- It's very hard
when you have to let someone go

that you care about.

However, this is maritime law.

It is called the
"no-tolerance" law.

We have to be drug-free.

If you're on an airplane
and the plane

is in an emergency landing,

your flight attendants are
responsible for the guests.

If something catastrophic
happens, the chief stew

has a responsibility to gather
all the guests, keep them calm.

If I didn't address this and
something, god forbid, happened,

I would be taken to jail,
the boat would be incarcerated,

and I would lose my license.

What she has done is illegal.

- So I think hannah just quit.
- What?

- Yeah, she asked me
to get her bag.

- Holy [bleep].

- She's on the dock?

I'll call you back, babe, okay?
I love you.

- The thing is, hannah...
I...

My hands are tied, legally.

But I personally
don't want to drive the boat

to sea with how
you've been lately.

Like...

- Just you're
hyperventilating in the...

- Hannah, I don't wanna get
into it, because...

- You have drugs
on the boat, hannah.

If I go to sea, I'm negligent
as a captain.

- Okay.

- Hannah, hannah, bugs.
- Honestly, I can't...

- Well... Well, okay.

I mean, if that's
how you wanna be.

- Who?
- Hannah.

- She's right there. She asked
me to get her bag for her.

- Is anyone near hannah,
by any chance?

- Sweet, we have
a snorkel basket.

- Oh, you don't think so?

- Oh, you don't?
You don't think I care?

Hannah, do you think if
I wanted you off the boat,

that I would use this? Huh? No.

- It is bullsh--
because I could have

fired you last year,
the year before.

So if you wanna make
it about that

and say that I don't care...

That's fine with me.

I won't care.

So now, officially,
I don't ----ing care.

Pack your clothes,
and you can go now.

Like I don't care...
It's like [bleep] you.

Malia, can you please
come to the bridge?

- Okay, captain.

- Is she gone?
- Whose suitcase is this?

- I have no idea.

- Random?

- I'm releasing hannah
from her contract

because of the findings
in her cabin.

I honestly don't
feel comfortable going to sea

with hannah for the rest of the
season, so that's gonna happen.

- Hannah, do you want me to
start unpacking the alcohol.

- What if she overdoses?
What if, like...

She didn't present her
prescription for valium.

She said she would, and...

- So this has to do with,
like, her... And, like...

Yeah, she can't...

- She can't be taking
stuff while she's...

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I don't need to involve you.
Thank you.

- I feel for her, but
it's my job to report drugs.

Maritime law is zero tolerance.

If one of the guests is wasted
at night, falls down the stairs,

breaks their legs, we have
to do an incident report.

Hannah gets popped
for a drug test, fails,

there's a lawsuit, there's
captain sandy's license...

That's it.

- Did you hear?
Hannah walked off.

- You're joking.

Holy [bleep].

- Right now, obviously,
people are noticing.

And just say,
if they come to you,

say the captain's gonna
have a meeting.

- Okay, copy.
- Yeah.

[ makes whooshing noise ]

- what on earth just happened?

Like, hannah's packing her bag,
saying she's leaving.

- What happened?

We were asking her what drinks,
and she says, "I don't care."

she's leaving, packing her bags.

[ sighs ]

- no! No!

- How does she know
you have that?

- Stop!

Malia is like a snake.

We had a little bit
of a checkered past.

- I motorboated
you, like, three times.

- You'll be, like...

Wes, you and adam both
kissed me tonight.

- No, hannah,
if you have something to say,

say it to my face.

- We have been getting along
really well this season.

I think we're gonna
have a really good season.

- I know.

- And she just went, like boom,
straight down to the gutter.

- Coming up...

- Deck crew, someone
has eyes on jet skis.

- They've disappeared
behind the rock.

- Get eyes on them, please.

- And later, a sneak peak at
what's ahead this season.

- ----Ing do it,
then. I cannot do it.

[ clanging ]

- [bleep]
----ing hell!

- Tom!

- What happened?

- What do you mean?

- ...And apparently I'm...

It's too much of a risk
to go to sea.

- Jeez.

- It's all good.

- You all right?

- [ scoffs ]
- hm.

- So cap walked past and said,

"you can pack your bags,
and I'll get you a hotel."

- is that what just happened?

And apparently, I'm just, um...

Too much of a risk
to go out to sea.

- Mm.

- You also can't take
valium and...

- On watch?
- Yeah.

- Whew.

Well, this is gonna be fun.
- Right, have to fly, darling.

- Bye.
- Mwah...

I'll see you after charter,
or whatever.

- Mm, yeah.
- Nice to meet you.

- Likewise.
- Short and sweet.

- It was very short
and sweet, yeah.

I hope you're all right.
- Thanks, honey.

- Everything goes well.

- Yeah, good luck
with the charter.

- Oh, yeah, I'll need it.

I've never seen that, like,
the day of the charter guests...

- Two hours before they come.
- Yeah.

Great first day.

- [bleep]
- yeah.

[ humming ]

this is how it ends?

- Stand by, captain sandy's
gonna have a meeting.

- Ugh.

- I'm very aware of
the maritime laws.

I've been in yachting for years.

It was a mistake on my part.
I needed to declare that.

But to be honest with you,
I think I've been ready to make

a hasty exit from yachting
for a few years now.

But I don't like
going home like this.

Do you have a minute
to help me with my bags?

As sad as I am to be leaving on
this really dark, horrible note,

I would never, ever
regret my time in yachting.

It molds who you
are as a human being,

and who you will always be.

Working in yachting is,
like, the highest of highs.

- How are you?
- Good, I'm hannah.

- I'm ben, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Yeah.

[ singing ]

- and the lowest of lows.

- For a 30-year-old,
for nothing

you have got going on
in your life...

- I wanna know what
the main course was tonight.

- I don't know, mate,
you know what, you don't discuss

your ----ing menus till
they come on

the ----ing platter anyway.

- There is so much hatred
in your face, jesus.

Don't look at me like that.

- No, it's frustration
and anger,

because I'm serving
absolute sh-- to guests.

- Do you actually think
what you did is okay?

That's the most disturbing part.
- Yes, I do think it's okay.

It's just... I'm done
with the heart attack.

Hey, babe.
Have you booked my flight?

I would have preferred
to end on a high.

Not literally.

It makes me sad that
I'm leaving yachting,

but at the same time
I think that this next chapter

of my book is going
to be so much better,

even though yachting was
such a fantastic chapter.

- So first it was the second
stew, now it's the chief stew.

- Is this really happening?

- Yeah.
- Can we make a solid pact?

Can no one else leave,
please, because...

- Dear god, I hope so.
- Yeah.

- I'll have to get fired.
I'm not quitting.

- That's the spirit!

[ laughter ]

- let me go regroup.

- Do you feel organized?

- As best as I can,
when you have no idea

what's been ordered,
when, how, what...

- Yeah, it's unreal.

- Bugsy...

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- [bleep] who's next?

- So obviously,
it's obvious

that hannah's
no longer on board.

You're okay to do
chief stew, right?

Like, you're gonna take over.

And then we're gonna get you
someone for our next charter.

- Okay.

- You will have the
deck crew to help.

I just wanna make sure
you're up to the task.

- Yeah, for sure.
- Okay.

I don't wanna make it like...

- Got to do whatever I can do.

- Yeah, and I don't
wanna make it, like,

all this chatter about hannah.
- No.

- It's how boats run.

- She kind of explained
a few things,

and it's not really
for me to know.

Like, we've just gotta carry on.
- Yeah. Thank you.

- Thank you.
- That's it.

Great.

- Okay. That's one way
to be promoted, I guess.

Thank you.

- Somebody has to
step in and take charge.

We've got a charter starting
in what, like, an hour?

- Charter number six.

Isaac is the ceo of the
company started by his father.

Joining isaac will be his older
brother and father, jared.

This group is not
your average family.

- It's very unfortunate, the
way it's all kinda played out.

- All crew, all crew, we
have provisions on the dock.

- [bleep]

- copy that.

- All crew, all crew,
we have one hour before we meet

in the main salon,
in our whites.

- You can just leave
the waters on the aft.

- On the...
All of it on the dock.

I've had very
classical training.

So I'm kind of meticulous
in being organized and prepared.

So to get dropped in at the
deep end like this

it's just... It's mad.

----Ing hell.

- Oh, my god,
I've had better days.

- Do you want kiko's headband?

He gave it to hannah,
but I think you want it.

- Yeah.

- Deck crew, we have a meeting.

- Well, I don't,
it might be bad luck.

- Go put it somewhere,
I don't wanna see it.

- Where do we put it?

- In the laundry or something,
maybe at the back.

- Aw.

- I just wanna say, like, we
have to stay strong, all right?

We've gotta be deck crew.

Leave the other personal
stuff and drama,

let that stuff be in there.

Come out on deck and always
have each other's backs,

and we'll make it through
the rest of the season

strong, all right?

- Sweet ass.
- Agreed.

- Sweet, let's do this, boys.

- Charter six.

[ whistling ]
- let's do it.

- Thank you for being awesome.

- I've never seen anyone walk
out on the day of a charter.

Ugh, you've got your work
cut out now, haven't you?

[ chuckles ]

- obviously, we're down
a crewmember,

which is never a good thing.

Hannah had a lot of knowledge
about the way things are run,

and as a department head,
you need a system in place,

which I don't have time to do.

And that is probably
the biggest concern

in my mind at this point.

- We'll be all right now, alex.

- I'm not stressing one bit.

- Oh, really?

Oh, [bleep], leave
the stressing up to me.

- Yeah.

Just... Tom, just you don't
walk out on us, okay?

No pressure, but pressure.

- Yeah.

- So do we have another
person coming, or?

- No.
- No.

- Next charter.
- All right.

It's tough.
- Mm-hmm.

I think...

- Probably see
a change in everyone,

once crew understands why,
and the severity of it.

Like, the thing is is,
like, they need to understand

is even if she has prescriptions
for both of those things,

you can't take them
while on duty.

- On the boat, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Exactly.

- I once had an
allergic reaction

during a crossing,
and I needed benadryl.

I had to go to the bridge...

- And they wrote
in the medical log.

- They write it down,
they log it.

They had to call
a nurse on shore

to get an okay
to give me benadryl.

- Right.
- Benadryl!

Valium and weed... And
they're not registered in her...

- Right.
- ...Seafarer's form.

- In the maritime industry,
pot's illegal to have on board.

It may be legal in
california, colorado,

but it's not legal on a vessel
in international waters.

In fact, there was one
joint found on a vessel

that came back from the bahamas,

and the entire vessel
was seized...

Seized the entire boat
for one joint.

But I'm not gonna go
into all that

when I have an emotional
being in front of me.

- Yeah, I know.

- I'm not gonna quote
maritime law.

- Yeah.

- Like, for me it's
whatever it is that

you have to be on,
it has to be...

- Registered...
- ...In our medical locker...

- ...In the bridge.
- Yes, of course.

- Yep, and locked up...
- That's on every boat.

- ...So no one else
can get to it.

- Right.

- There's a reason
we have these laws.

- Chef, you all good?
- Kind of...

Kind of falling to pieces
a little bit right now.

- Your first day.

I think this is probably
the roughest situation

that tom could have been thrown
into, and I'm pretty nervous.

Like, I feel like I'm gonna
be very protective of him.

Found some water...
Here's a water for you.

- No, I've got one,
I've got one.

- Okay.
- Thanks.

- Jess, jess, bugs.

What are you working
on at the moment?

- Looking for epaulettes.

- Okay, copy. You haven't
done the tables yet, right?

- I did the dining.

- And the main salon?

- Yeah, no,
didn't do that one yet.

I will in a second.
- Okay, copy that

- I think the whole crew's
really shocked

that hannah's been let go,
and I think people are confused,

like, what the [bleep]
just happened.

- Jess, jess, don't
worry about it.

I'm just gonna wipe
the table down, thank you.

- And then there's bugsy.

I know where
bugsy gets her name from.

I have a dog named bugsy,

because he bugs the sh--
out of everybody...

It's simple.

- One of these?
- I'll use that one, yeah.

- And three of those?
- And there.

- Perfect.
- Thank you.

- Pleasure.

- I love you.

- I love you.

- Hm?
- I love you.

- Aw!
- Aw!

- Aw!
- Aw!

- All crew, all crew,
meet me in the main salon

for our pre-charter meeting.

Okay, hi.

Everyone's heard probably
different stories.

The reality is,
hannah's been let go.

As a captain, I have
the ultimate responsibility

to the maritime law, and
I will always uphold that.

When we go to sea,
we are responsible

for every life on board.

That means when you're
on anchor watch

or you're sitting on the bridge,
you do not drink,

you do not take
any medication...

Not even a benadryl.

You cannot be drowsy
or under the influence

of anything, and I wanna
make that crystal clear.

I need to know that
I can rely on each and every

one of you in case
of an emergency.

This is no joke, people.

Bugsy's your chief stew.

I think that we leave
whatever past knowledge

or chatter you've heard
in your ear,

you leave it at the dock and
you reset and you start new.

All right, everyone,
let's go kill it.

- Cool.
- Yes!

- All right, thank you.
- All right.

- Jess?
- Yeah?

- I'm just making a list
here of just what needs

to be prepped as soon as
you bring the cold towels in.

I'm gonna start
pouring the champagne.

Get the app plates, the small
napkins and the forks.

And then as soon as
you're done with moving

this up to bridge deck, will
you just change into your reds?

- Okay.
- With regards to cabins...

- Yeah.

- ...Beds, replace towels,
quick wipe-down.

- Oh, my god, here we go.

- Yeah. Yeah, girl, let's see
that enthusiasm.

Beds and heads.
- I can't wait.

- Sounds good.

- All crew, all crew, gather
on the dock for guest arrival.

- Oh, my god.
- Whew.

- Let's do it, boys.

- This boat's beautiful,
right there.

- I know.

- Ugh, I didn't even
get a second

to look over that damn list.

- All right, bugsy,
get out here, now.

- On my way, on my way.

- Chef, chef, could
you make your way

to the dock now, please?

- All right, all right.
- Here they come.

- Chief stew leaves,
brand new chef...

- Let's do it.
- ...What can possibly go wrong?

- Coming up...

- Could you plate
this whole thing?

Sprinkle these two on top.

Did you put this on
here as well?

The first impression is huge.

- Listen, if it's not five-star,
it's not for us.

- You pay this money
to go on a charter.

- How is it?
- Have you eaten his food yet?

- Oh.
- No?

- No?

- I don't know whose
preference sheet had said veal,

but it wasn't mine.

- These yachts sure are pretty.

- Hi.
- Hi!

- Hello, hello.
- Welcome, I'm your captain.

Welcome aboard.
- I'm ashley.

- Sandy, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Pleasure.
- Hi nice to meet you.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Pleasure. Pleasure.
Pleasure. Pleasure.

- Bugsy... Okay, bugsy.
- Hi, malia.

- Mellia? From where?
- Oregon.

- All right, okay.

- Welcome aboard.
- Pleasure.

- We're happy to have you here.

As soon as bugsy shows
you around the boat...

- Yeah, come...

- ...We're gonna take off and
head to your first anchorage.

- If you wanna stand
next to me here,

we'll just welcome them on.

While working as a
chief stew is a title

that I'm very
comfortable with...

- Cheers.
- Cheers to knowing me.

- Yeah.

- ...I never expected that
I would have to do it

on this boat, running
with only one stewardess.

Welcome on board, everyone.

- Bugsy.
- Bugsy, right.

- Okay, bunny.

- I'm gonna do a walk
through the boat,

so you can see you accommodation
for the next couple of days.

- Great.
- So please, follow me.

Welcome to the main salon.
- Gorgeous.

- Bugsy, is this the dinghy
that takes us to the yacht?

- Yes, this is the dinghy.
- Okay.

- We're about to go
onto the yacht now.

- Okay.
- Holy sh--.

[ grunting ]
- heavy bastard.

- Here we have our cigar lounge.
- Ooh.

- Oh, wow, if it's
got nicotine, I'm in.

[ laughter ]

- sorry.
- Sorry.

- Are you joking?
- There's two bags per person.

- Holy hell.

These guys look
high-maintenance.

- This is ridiculous.

- The chef and the chief
stew are shockingly brand new,

so now's not the time
for a very big challenge.

Ugh.

- The vip cabin.

- Ah, very pretty.

- I'm gonna get drunk
and pass out in that bed.

- Yeah, good call.

And then we'll go down
into the lower cabins.

- Cool, pete's on the bow, you
guys are back to the lines...

- Be careful of these stairs.
The master cabins are here.

- This is ours
- master cabin.

- Mm-hmm.
- Ooh, perfect.

- And then we have
a twin cabin in here.

- This is nice.

- Is there a pull-out
in there for jared?

- You know he doesn't pull out.

- Perfect, okay.

- Captain sandy, we are
standing by, ready for launch.

- Go ahead and
drop the port ground line.

- Port ground line dropped.

- Okay, I'm ready to release.

- Sun deck, we've got
the hot tub up front.

- Pull, pull, pull, pull.

- That's gonna be your
stripper pole for later.

- Yeah, yeah.

- That's all stern lines clear,
all stern lines clear.

- Okay, guys, look up this way.

Say, "money."

- money.

- All clear to swing,
all clear to swing.

[ grunting ]

- opening up off your stern, all
clear off starboard midships.

[ ship's horn ]

- good job, everyone.
Thanks, malia.

- Can I top anyone up?

- Yes, please.

- Good, so you're
the chief stew?

- Right.
You may call me chief.

- Done.
- Done.

So let me know if I can
get you anything.

[ laughs ]
- all right.

- All right, everything's in?
- Yes.

- Sweet, boys, into our wets.

- Can I check with you
about lunch?

Just time...
- Sure, okay.

- About a 2:00 lunch?
- Beautiful.

- Yes.

- So you're happy to do
family-style, or...

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah, that's fine.

- Yeah? Okay, thank you so much.

- Hey, tom?
- Yeah?

- Two o'clock lunch, and then
they're happy for family-style.

- Perfect.
- Fabulous.

And I think it's good.

I want to be one of these people
that works and works and works,

and I don't plan
on retiring, ever.

My mum used to give us, like,
these massive lists of chores.

My mum would never let us
sleep in much, either.

Get up, get something done.

You're not gonna
achieve anything

while you're lying in bed.

[ laughs ]

all crew, all crew,
lunch is ready.

- Copy that.

- We just clap our hands, and...

- Can I get you guys
some more champagne?

- Can I do a tito's and
soda with lime, please?

- Yeah, of course.
Would you like...

- Can I do an espresso martini
with tito's?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

- Perfect, thank you.
- Mm, avocado.

- It's like we have a
new chef or something.

- Bugs?
- Yeah?

- Where are you going?
- I'm just pulling for lunch.

- Okay.
- You're with the guests, right?

- Okay, do you wanna do... Yeah.

- Yeah, so if you'll
just stick with them.

- You wanna do an espresso
martini, or...

- Are you happy to do one?
- I'll figure it out.

- Do you want me to show you?
- Sure.

- Okay.

I feel like a lot of downfall
with interior teams

is that the chief stew never
actually shows the stewardess,

and expects them to be
a miracle worker.

So as busy as I am,

giving people your time
is really important.

- Ah.
- So, tito's...

- Yeah.
- Put a bit of kahlúa in.

Do two shots of that,
shake, shake, shake...

- That's it,
no cream or anything?

- No, you can drop a bit of
bailey's if you want to.

- Thank you.

- Some of them don't
like it, some do.

- Okay. But this is what it's
supposed to taste like?

Ooh, good god.

- Mm! Chicken!
- So...

- Yeah.

It doesn't matter of you have a
prescription for valium or weed,

you can't have them
in your cabin.

- Right.

- And you can't be taking
it while you're on duty.

- Right.

- The chief stew...
[ radio chatter ]

- ...Is in charge of the muster
station of all the guests.

- Right.
- I hear you.

- Do you have any spare hands
that can start

washing a couple of
dishes in the galley?

- Copy, on our way.

- Unload this, please?

- Yeah, it's really good.
- Thank you, bugsy.

- My pleasure.
- Yo, homegirl.

- Yo.

Until it's time to anchor,
I'm all yours.

- All right.

- Oh, we got house daddy!
- House daddy!

- So while I serve lunch,

I'm just gonna put you
on full guest eyes.

- Yeah.

- I'm gonna hop on her bed
and say, "I am your daddy."

[ laughter ]

- oh, that's gross.
- That's sick.

- How you guys feeling up here?

- Awesome.
- Doing good.

- You guys good?
- Good.

- We're good.
- Perfect.

- What's up, bugs?
- Hey, alex, how we doing?

- Good, how are you?
- Great.

It's a fan-----ing
beautiful day.

- Beautiful day,
beautiful new chief stew.

Whatever you need, we got you.
I'll be a steward.

- I'll look at your resume.

- Malia, malia, send me
someone to the anchor.

- Copy, on my way.

- Let's start blowing
from right here.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
it's good to know me.

- Yeah.

- Okay, standing by the anchor,
ready to drop.

- Drop it.

Go to two.

- She bit.

- Okay, great, put
the anchor ball on.

- Let's go, boys.

- Opening stern door.

- Oh, it's beautiful.

- All right, let's do this.
Watch your line.

I need you to go down.
I'll see you at 5:00.

- Sounds good.

- Marinated burrata...
- Yeah, that's those two then.

- Pappa al pomodoro, okay.
- Yeah.

- And then we've got ossobucco.

- So that's safforn risotto
with braised veal,

and fried veal as well.
- And then roast sea bass.

- Exactly, yeah.

- So as I clear, I'll re-plate,

and the deck crew can start
running the platters up.

- Good.
- Does that work?

- Yeah, absolutely.

The first impression is huge.

Get it right, and hopefully you
can just ride that little wave.

- Everybody feeling hungry?

- Starving.
- Starving.

Can I offer you the
sauvignon blanc?

- Yes.

- Bugs, bugs,
shall I start plating?

- Go ahead with plating.
- Okay, perfect, thanks.

- Malia, malia, you and the deck
crew can start running stuff up.

- Deck crew, deck crew,
I need you guys.

- Here's the first two, anyway.

- Take it up?

- You can stick...
You can take them up.

- Yeah, go, run with it.

- So we have a
marinated burrata...

- Oh, that's awesome.
- Yeah.

- And then heirloom
tomato salad.

- This is, like, with that...

- Beautiful.
- Oh, yummy.

- Malia, could you just
plate this whole thing?

Sprinkle these two on top.
- Copy.

- Is that okay?

- That good?
- Perfect.

- Serving ossobucco milanese.
We've got braised veal.

- Could you put this
on here as well?

- Yep, copy.
- Thank you very much.

I really appreciate it.

- I think tom will do just fine.

I think, you know, first
he's gotta get used to,

like, not having a sous chef,
and it's been a minute

since he's worked
as a sole chef.

So I think it'd be
nerve-wracking for any chef,

but I think it's even
more nerve-wracking

that it's my boyfriend, because
I don't want the repercussions.

- Um...

- Bugsy, what's the chef's name?

- Chef.
- Tom.

- You just got him? Ugh.

- All right.

- Listen, if it's not five-star,
it's not for us.

- Uh-huh.

- Yeah, when you pay this
money to go on a charter.

- How is it?
- Have you eaten his food yet?

- Ugh.

- No?
- No?

- I don't whose preference
sheet had said veal,

but it wasn't mine.

- Coming up, a sneak peek at
what's ahead this season.

[ thudding ]
- oh!

- It shouldn't be like
this so soon.

I feel ----ing trapped.

- If it's not five-star,
it's not for us.

- Uh-huh.
- How is it?

- Have you eaten his food yet?
- Ugh.

- No?

- I don't know on whose
preference sheet had said veal,

but it wasn't mine.

- The sea bass is
actually really good.

- Not really a fan of
veal in general.

- This veal is delicious.

- It's great, tom's a good chef.
- Great chef.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

- Whew. Thank god!

- Chef tom.

- Okay.
- Thanks for that.

I don't know
where I'd be without you.

- Not here.
- Good point.

- Nice work.

They love it.
- Good.

- I'm gonna send you
on your break now.

- Okay.

- Man, I have veal stuck
in my teeth right now.

- That was delicious.

- Santiana and I are gonna
swim to shore.

[ laughter ]

- are you married?

- No, I'm married to my job.

- Yeah.
- It's so sad.

- Yay!

- How old are you?
- I'm 29.

- Twenty-nine.
- Hopefully I've got some time.

- All right.

- Good jo... Oh sh--.

- Right...
Is it not starting, jacob?

- Ahoy!

- Deck crew, if someone
has eyes on jet skis?

- Malia, they've disappeared
behind the rock.

- Wow, this is cool, huh?

- Can you run to the bridge
and see if you can

get eyes on them please?
Thank you.

These guests are
doing everything all at once,

which is definitely
a lot to keep track of.

- Malia, I've got eyes on one.

- You both have eyes, though?

- Well, one guy's up
on the slide.

You want me to run up there?
- Yes, please.

- Okay, you're good.

- And then just make sure we
put the safety clip on.

- Ah!

- Be careful, be careful.

- He's right there,
he's right there.

You all right?
- You good?

- I'm good.
- Fine.

- Jesus.

- Woo!
- Okay, so, weight distribution.

- There we go.
- All good?

- Throttle on your right.

- Have fun, guys.

- I'm seeing someone.

- Yeah, she's upstairs.

- Yes.

- Jessica.

- Yes, sir.

- She's got good taste, too.

The relationship has got
deeper and stronger

and more powerful
really quickly.

Somebody asking you to fly
to the other end of the world

with them after knowing them
for a couple of weeks...

- Yeah?

- That could be seen as
very crazy...

- K-I-s-s...
- K-I-s-s-I-n-g.

- ...I-n-g.

- How was your waverunner ride?

- Awesome!
- So beautiful.

- Interior, malia.

That's all guests
out of the water,

and I think they're heading up.

How'd it go?

- First day,
first of everything.

It's just a case of
working it all out, you know?

- Yeah, slice and dice.
- Yeah.

- Mm.

[ kissing ]

- would anyone like
another cocktail at all?

- Tito's, soda, lime.

- Hey, hannah or...

I mean, I'm sorry,
jess or bugs...

Yeah, that's bad.

I have three more drink orders.

- Smells good.

- Hold that for a second?
- No!

- Okay.

- Give it to jacob.

- Hey, that's mine!

- Hey, hey, hey, now!
Hey, now!

- You guys,
don't play with that.

- Tito's, lime...
- That's ours.

- That's ours.

- For your achievement tonight
we were gonna do, like,

a celebration of
100,000 users.

- On night one, isaac,
jared, and jacob would like

to celebrate their
business achievement,

as their product has just
hit 100,000 users.

- Do you want to have,
like, a nice dinner...

- What's that?

- We're gonna do the
birthday party tonight.

- And you want a cake
and everything?

- Yeah.

- What kind of cake
did you want?

- Probably chocolate.
- Chocolate cake.

- Okay, sounds good.

- Bugsy, can you take that
sea cucumber back to his room?

- "that sea cucumber."
[ laughs ]

- that is some sea cucumber.

- That's some sea cucumber.

- I don't even wanna know.
I just don't wanna know.

- All crew, all crew,

we are going for a 9:00 p.M.
Dinner tonight.

So we're doing
the 100,000 tonight.

- Yep.

- They would like a cake
brought out at the end

for the guy jacob's
birthday tonight.

- An actual cake
for them to portion?

- An actual chocolate cake,
so...

- So, a birthday cake.
- A birthday cake.

- Oh, right, brilliant.
- Yeah.

All right, cool.
- Woohoo.

- Let's make some ----ing
last-minute birthday cake.

- How are you guys doing?

- Tito's, soda?

- Perfect.

- Deck crew, deck crew, you can
start packing the stuff away.

- Copy that.

- I'm just checking on what
they ordered with you.

- Who?
- The guests.

- Yeah?
- Drinks.

- Oh... Vodka, soda.

- And lime?
- Yeah.

- Extra lemon.
- Did you just do a lemon?

- Oh, lime...
Yeah, I did.

- All right, I'm going
down for a break.

- You wanna take this up?
- Cool.

- Just radio me if
they want anything else.

- What's wrong?

- Just found this out, like,
probably half an hour ago,

they need a birthday cake.

I'm like, all right, whatever.

You could potentially make
anything last-minute,

but it's not necessarily
what you're capable of,

and it reflects on
you then, as a chef.

I've gotta get it
cooked, cooled,

and then make it into
a birthday cake.

- That sucks.

- Plates for tonight?

- Oysters, then lobster,
then beef.

Gonna do it on the
grill upstairs.

And then the cake.

- Yeah, I just...
They threw it at me.

I was like, okay, well...

- Yeah, it is kind of a bit
of nonsense, having a cake...

I just don't know if the cake's
gonna be cool in time.

Like, it's not...
- Okay.

- ...Anything else.
- I know it's...

- Bullsh--.
- ...All last-minute.

- Go ahead.

- So I just put
a list here for you.

There's cabin checks...
- Okay.

- ...And replace any towels
and stuff, like pre-turndown.

That's just common sense.

- Bugsy's intense and
detailed, and intense.

But on the bright side,
I'm, like, the second stew now.

I mean, there's only two of us.

- Multitask.
- Copy.

- Norma, it's sandy...

Yes, again, and I
need a second stew.

Yes, again.

- Do you want me to get a
photo of you guys together?

- Yes.

- Hi.

- This is bullsh--.
- What?

- Having a ----ing birthday
cake last minute.

Like, with just
three hours to go.

And oh, no, that is
just bullsh--.

- Do you want a portrait?
- That would be lovely.

[ sighs ]

- you're good, you're good.

- If you're allowed to
cook exactly what you wanted

to cook and they don't
change anything,

then the job's
hard enough on your own.

- Oh sh--.
- You okay?

- Just walk it off, hon.

- There's definitely
an element of, like,

let's ----ing wind the chef up.

We've got one ----ing chef,
and he's cooking for the crew,

and what, he's not
entitled to a gripe?

I don't know, whatever.
This is bullsh--.

- Coming up...

- Oh.
- That's so sexy.

- Mm.

Mm.

- Babe.
- Hey.

- Oh, yeah.
Ooh.

- This is bullsh--.
- What?

- Having a ----ing birthday
cake last minute.

Like just ----ing
three hours to go.

If you're allowed to
cook exactly what you wanted

to cook and that is it,
they don't change anything,

then the job's hard
enough on your own.

- I know.
- Mm, I don't know, whatever.

This is bullsh--.
- Yeah.

- Anyway, I've got...
- Kisses.

- No, I've got a ----ing
lot to do.

- Okay.

[ sighs ]
[bleep]'s sake.

- You having fun?

[ chuckling ]
oops.

Say hello.

Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

- Mm.

- We're going down to our room
to play with that thing.

[ laughs ]

- jess?
- Yeah?

- Will you jump on to
pulling cutlery for me?

Starter fork,
main fork, starter...

And we need an oyster fork.

I'm gonna write this down.
- Thank you.

[ gasping, hiccups ]

- sh-- this is...

This is ----ed.
- What's wrong?

- Put oysters on the menu,

and I didn't even see
if there was a knife.

Just assumed there would be one.

[bleep] how the [bleep]
am I gonna get them open?

- Do you want a hammer?
- No.

I totally didn't think
that I haven't even got

an oyster knife to shuck them.

It's not a good start.

- Oh, hi.
- Hey.

Do you know if we
have an oyster knife?

- Yeah, we use an oyster fork...
I've got oyster forks.

- No, to crack them open.

- Oh, like a shucker? No.

- Dinner's at 9:00
on the sun deck.

- Yeah, can I have you on
service with me, please?

And then if you have a
deck crew member

that can help jess
with turndowns?

- Okay.

- Tom?
- [ muttering ]

- tom?
- Yeah?

- I've got plates ready
to go over here.

- Sure, yeah, thank you.

- I've labeled them, in case
someone wants to help you.

- Okay.

- I'm really loving
working with tom.

I find him a very easy
person to work with.

- [bleep], [bleep].

- It's bizarre, how calm tom is.

I'm waiting for him to throw
a dish at me or something.

- Did you already
grab the silverware?

- I've got the silverware,
thanks, jess.

- All right, looks good.

Alex, you and I are up tonight.

You're gonna be helping
jess with cabins,

and I'm gonna be helping
bugs with service.

- All right,
so I'll be right back.

- You can go eat,
change, whatever.

- Blacks?
- Yeah, please.

- Did you find it?

- No, I've just got
this piece of sh--.

What could go wrong?

- Ugh.

- I can slice my finger off.

I'm starting to kind
of feel flustered.

I think the job itself
on yachts in general,

not just in the galley,
there's a lot of stress already,

there's a lot of drama already.

You don't need
any unnecessaries,

and today there's been a lot.

- Hi.
- Malia.

- [ chuckles ]
I hope so.

- And you're from where?
- The uk.

- Oh, the uk.
- Yeah.

- An englishman comes home,

and he finds his wife
in bed with two other men.

What did he say?

- I don't know.
- Hello, hello, hello.

An englishmen who sees his
wife in bed with two other men,

how many people
are there, three?

- Yeah?
- Hello, hello, hello.

You still don't get it?

- Yeah, that was weird.

- Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
- Yeah.

Are they trying to be awkward?
Because they obviously are.

- How's your day going?

- I wanna go home.

I wanted to go home today.

- Yeah.
- It was a really rough morning.

- It was.

- And I could have been at a
broncos-jaguar game right now.

- ...My face moisturizer.

- Mm.

Mm.

- The only pain
in the ass flight,

which is 340 euros,
is from new york.

- That's not that bad.

- Yeah, but, I mean,
the flight's bad.

Six-hour layover,
three-hour layover...

- Oh, okay.

- Ah!

- I didn't realize how much
I would feel differently

once tom came on board.

But now I'm carrying the
responsibility of my partner,

and that's scary.

- Hey, tom, we're just
waiting on guests.

- Okay, cool.

- And I'll give you
a radio when I seat them.

- Yep, okay.
- Thank you.

- I'm just gonna run up
to the grill.

- Yeah.

- How's been the first
day so far, it's nonstop?

- Oh, absolute chaos.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- I'm doing cabins with you,

so I know nothing
what I'm doing,

so you gotta let me know.

- You're doing cabins with me?
- Yeah.

- Oh, this is fun.

- Ooh.

- Look great, babe.

- It's so annoying

- the double-fisting?

- My titties are gonna pop out.

- That will be okay,
pop 'em right out.

- Could you do me a
favor and go up and...

- Yeah.
- ...Just flip the steaks?

- Flip it?
- Yeah, yeah.

- Copy.
- Flip it, honey, flip it.

- Hi!
- Oh, wow.

- Please feel free...
- Oh, yes.

- ...To make your way
up to the...

- Oh, all right, now jacob
will be excited.

- ...To the sun deck.
- All right, let's go.

- There you are.

- Mm.

- Tom, tom, bugs.

I'm starting to move
the guests up to the sun deck

and do water and wine.

- Oh, that's cute, look at this.

- Grab the other side.

- This is so pretty,
this tablescape.

- Yay for 100k.
- You've got 100,000 users.

- Good job, boys.
- We just got 100,000.

- Yay for 100k, okay.

- This one is
just plain steamed,

and the other one
is rockefeller.

- They're ready to go,
or you...

- They can go, yep.
- There you go.

- Thanks, guys.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- For your starter,
you have a rockefeller oyster,

and you have a steamed oyster.

- Great, thank you.

- Paul, when I threw
that dildo in your room,

tatyana yelled at me.

- I did!
- I wanted that.

- I was like, "why did
you do that?"

- you all right?
Want some water?

- No, they're full of grit.

- What's that?
- They're full of shell.

- Oh, do you want
to spit in here?

Spit in this.
- Mine was full of shells.

- Oh, me too.

- Are you ----ing kidding me?
I did, too.

- Yeah, it was...
- You did?

- Yeah, we had, like,
big pieces of shell.

- It was really bad.

- They all had shells
in their stuff.

- Yeah.
- [bleep]

- mm, I didn't ----ing
appreciate that, okay?

- Okay, I'm really
sorry about that.

- It's all right.

- Let me find out
what happened here.

- All right.

- They all had shells
in their stuff.

- Yeah.
- Ooh.

- I didn't ----ing
appreciate that, okay?

- Okay, I'm really
sorry about that.

- It's all right.

- Let me find out
what he can do.

- These are just some
of the pieces I spit out,

but they were, like,
teeth-hurting.

- Teeth-hurting?
- Yeah.

- But you want another round?
- No.

- That'd be great,
if he can make it?

- And who else?
- I liked them.

- You liked them?
- A round two would be great.

- Round two?
- I would try round two.

- Perfect.

- Let's go round and say one
thing nice about each other.

- Okay, well, I like your boobs.
- Oh.

- Love your boobs.
Love your boobs.

And tatyana, I love your hair.

- Hey, tom?
- Yeah?

- Quite a few of them had
shells in the oyster.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

Are you able to do another
round for three people, or not?

- It's gonna take,
like, a good while.

- Okay, I'll make them...

- I can do it,
it's just gonna take a while.

- I'll sort it out.
We've got lobster next, right?

- Yeah.
- No worries.

- Okay, cool.

- They all ate them all.
- Yeah, I know.

- Hey. I'm ready to clean!

Clean some cabins.

- Alex and I worked together
on a boat in florida.

He's like my little
degenerate brother

whom I wanna slap
and hug at the same time.

Start, and just
gather the trash.

Little smartass little ----er.

- I'm your second stew,
you're my third.

You listen to me.

- I don't mean to interrupt.
- Yeah.

- I was chatting to the chef,
and he's more than happy

to do them for you, but we
still have lobster coming...

- Oh, lobster...
- ...And then the tomahawks...

- No, I think we're good.
- On to the next!

- Can we get drinks?
That's even more important.

- For sure.
How's your tito's going down?

You want the wine?

- Oh, I didn't get one yet.
I didn't get one yet.

- Your tito's is right there.
- Oh, I did... Sorry.

- I'll need a hand in a minute,
just plating the lobster.

- Copy.

- If you wouldn't mind
doing that with me.

- The [bleep] do I do in here?

[ laughs ]

that's what you call a
good dickin', right there.

That's a kickstand.

- We don't have dirt
in our family.

- It's protected.
- We only have baggage.

- Okay, malia,
once I've done this...

- Mm-hmm.

- ...You can put a few of
these little matchsticks

on here, like this.
- Okay.

- Jess and alex, can I have you
guys waiting outside the galley,

and you can just help run food?
- Copy that.

- What is it,
lobster tail with...

- Yeah, lobster tail with
caviar and confit potato.

- These are good?

- Yeah, they're good,
thanks, dude.

- All right, alex,
keep them level.

- Oh, wow.

- Okay, second round,
we've got lobster tail

with caviar and confit potatoes.

- Ooh.
- Enjoy.

- Jess, I will meet you
in the master.

- You might want your
lobster cooked more.

- I know, mine's raw.
- Is it?

- Yeah, I can't...
- Mine is a bit raw, too.

- All of our lobsters are raw.

- Too raw? Okay.
- Yeah.

- God.

- So do you guys leave
these clothes and stuff?

- Okay, listen,
pull this off gently...

- What, the dick, or the...

- I'm sorry, they just
passed these back

and said they're too raw
for their liking.

- Too raw?
- Yeah.

- It's fully cooked,
it's poached.

- Right. Can we, like, pan-fry
them or something?

I'm sorry.

- ----Ing nonsense.

Poach it and then
----ing fry it.

- Yeah.

- ----Ing hell.
- Tom, I'm so sorry.

- What the [bleep] am I
supposed to do with that?

It's been cooking for
two ----ing hours.

- I don't think it was you,
it's them.

- Okay.

- Do you want me to take...
- And I'll take...

- ...The potato off all of
these?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

- Could you just lay me out...
No...

- Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry...

Sorry, sorry.

Oh, you're kidding me.
I just...

- This isn't what I thought
I was signing up to

when I came to visit malia
and was offered the job.

- I'm sorry.
- ----Ing hell.

- What is the point in
me being on the boat

if it's not going to be right,
what I serve?

- Now, why didn't you guys
like raw lobsters?

- It's not cooked.

- Raw lobster is
excellent to me.

I'm saying that...

- Later this season on
"below deck med"...

This is yachting, folks.

It's emotional, it's tiring,
it's about a team.

I want us to be champions,
not at each other's throat.

But there's a line.

I'm your captain.

I can't do insubordination.

Ah, she's here.

- Our new stew seems nice.

- Hi!

- So happy you could come.

- You're gonna
belly dance, okay?

- Am I taking my shirt off?

- Oh!

[ shouting, cheering ]

- hi, welcome back.

- Great to be back.
- Thank you.

- Look, there's a jellyfish!
Oh, my god!

- Look, dead ahead, dead ahead.

- Johnny is schwasted.

- Woo!

- Vagazzled!

- I guess when
I'm in a relationship,

it's not like a free-for-all

for everybody to
grab everything.

I will punch her in
the ----ing face

if she touches your ass again.

- Is this too dressy
for tonight?

- Oh, my god.

- All right.

- Bugs.
- Sh--.

- What kind of an
operation are we running here?

- Opa!

- This is a very tight
spot to get this boat into,

and I am sh--ting myself.

- [bleep]'s sake.

- That heaving line, you made
that mistake three times.

That line needs to get
locked off now.

- Stay out of the galley,
stay away from him.

[ clanging ]

- he's gonna walk off the boat.

- Well, let him walk.

- I need you to know that, like,
I'm not rejecting you.

- It shouldn't be like
this so soon.

I feel ----ing trapped.

- You just said there's ----ing
frozen halibut in the freezer.

I'm not gonna ----ing do this.

- ----Ing hell!
- Tom.

- [bleep]

- what's up, baby?

- Just... Oh, my god.

Is that a microfiber?
- Did I pack it right?

[ makes whipping noise ]

- for more "below deck med,"
go to bravotv.Com