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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,046 --> 00:00:03,718 It says here there's a super volcano 2 00:00:03,803 --> 00:00:05,054 in Yellowstone that's gonna explode and 3 00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:06,615 - destroy the world. - Yeah? 4 00:00:06,843 --> 00:00:09,296 So, yes, I will have another beer. 5 00:00:11,772 --> 00:00:12,816 Who's that? 6 00:00:12,901 --> 00:00:14,468 We're everybody you know. 7 00:00:15,937 --> 00:00:17,782 You know who's not gonna knock before they come 8 00:00:17,867 --> 00:00:20,156 into your house? Super volcano. 9 00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:23,572 Adam. 10 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,094 Alice. 11 00:00:25,671 --> 00:00:26,977 Yeah. 12 00:00:27,062 --> 00:00:28,754 Look, guys, it's my mother-in-law 13 00:00:28,839 --> 00:00:31,059 at my door with no warning. 14 00:00:31,634 --> 00:00:33,242 I just wanted a nice visit 15 00:00:33,327 --> 00:00:35,071 with my family. Ah.Where's Andi? 16 00:00:35,156 --> 00:00:36,904 Uh, she's out buying new towels. 17 00:00:36,990 --> 00:00:38,298 Yeah, she asked if I wanted to go with her, 18 00:00:38,382 --> 00:00:39,547 and now I regret saying no. 19 00:00:39,632 --> 00:00:40,919 Oh. 20 00:00:41,146 --> 00:00:43,960 Oh, Adam, I love your little jokes. 21 00:00:45,483 --> 00:00:46,663 I'm gonna go upstairs 22 00:00:46,748 --> 00:00:48,429 - and surprise the kids. - Okay. 23 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:49,971 Hey, Don. 24 00:00:50,055 --> 00:00:52,147 Hello, little man I don't know. 25 00:00:54,733 --> 00:00:57,077 Where's your super volcano when I need it? 26 00:01:00,598 --> 00:01:03,005 - The nuts are better. - Oh, good, you found my brownies. 27 00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:04,864 I was saving those. 28 00:01:06,395 --> 00:01:08,615 - Where's Alice? - Upstairs unpacking. 29 00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,383 She's really making herself comfortable. 30 00:01:10,467 --> 00:01:12,730 She already turned the thermostat up to 80. 31 00:01:14,168 --> 00:01:16,325 Andi is not gonna like this surprise. 32 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,512 Well, what's the big deal? Alice seems nice. 33 00:01:18,597 --> 00:01:20,903 Uh, she is, but she makes Andi crazy. 34 00:01:20,988 --> 00:01:23,036 And instead of telling her mom she makes her crazy, 35 00:01:23,121 --> 00:01:24,353 Andi puts me in the middle. 36 00:01:24,437 --> 00:01:26,755 And I have to take it, because of one promise 37 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,809 I made in a church 20 years ago. 38 00:01:31,557 --> 00:01:33,798 Andi's home. I better go warn her outside, 39 00:01:33,914 --> 00:01:35,770 away from anything breakable. 40 00:01:38,885 --> 00:01:40,193 Hey, honey. 41 00:01:40,278 --> 00:01:41,825 I got the towels. Oh, and I picked up 42 00:01:41,910 --> 00:01:43,052 - Teddy's new baseball bat. - Ooh. 43 00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:44,950 Let me hold that for you. 44 00:01:46,746 --> 00:01:48,203 And can I just say 45 00:01:48,287 --> 00:01:49,944 that you look beautiful 46 00:01:50,129 --> 00:01:54,356 and I will love you until the end of time. 47 00:01:56,379 --> 00:01:58,707 What happened and how upset am I going to be? 48 00:01:59,364 --> 00:02:02,309 Good, your mind is prepared for something horrible. 49 00:02:02,737 --> 00:02:03,935 Your mom is here. 50 00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:05,419 - What? - Mm-hmm. 51 00:02:05,504 --> 00:02:07,794 But we're not ready. I mean, I-I haven't steamed 52 00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:10,182 or cleaned or washed or prepped. 53 00:02:11,418 --> 00:02:13,817 It looks like our regular house in there. 54 00:02:14,746 --> 00:02:16,676 Smart to get rid of the bat, huh? 55 00:02:17,882 --> 00:02:19,234 A volcano's bad enough, 56 00:02:19,318 --> 00:02:22,106 but a super volcano will take your head right off. 57 00:02:23,366 --> 00:02:24,544 Hi, Mom. 58 00:02:24,629 --> 00:02:26,067 Oh, there she is. 59 00:02:26,151 --> 00:02:28,215 Oh, Don was just telling me how we're all gonna die. 60 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:29,668 Ah. 61 00:02:29,753 --> 00:02:32,387 Ah, this is such a surprise. 62 00:02:32,472 --> 00:02:34,302 You're here. 63 00:02:35,028 --> 00:02:37,839 Without calling or texting or any of the things people do. 64 00:02:38,974 --> 00:02:40,239 Where's Dad? 65 00:02:40,324 --> 00:02:43,083 Oh, he's having a staycation with George and Fred. 66 00:02:43,168 --> 00:02:44,942 Those are our Yorkies. 67 00:02:46,174 --> 00:02:48,482 We gave them human names so it wouldn't be weird 68 00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,075 when they sit and eat at the table. 69 00:02:51,845 --> 00:02:53,832 Now, u-uh, Mom, b-before you say anything, 70 00:02:53,917 --> 00:02:56,365 o-our house is usually much neater. 71 00:02:56,450 --> 00:02:57,786 Oh, it looks fine. 72 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,096 Yeah, sure. 73 00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:02,575 Um... let's go into the living room, huh? 74 00:03:02,818 --> 00:03:05,286 Where the couch pillows better be fluffed. 75 00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:07,825 They might be. 76 00:03:08,683 --> 00:03:11,012 I never know what you mean when you say that. 77 00:03:12,642 --> 00:03:14,224 He knows what a fluffy pillow is, Mom. 78 00:03:14,309 --> 00:03:17,653 You can't listen to him. He's on the beer. 79 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,652 *MAN WITH A PLAN* Season 04 Episode 09 80 00:03:22,737 --> 00:03:24,135 Episode Title: "Stuck in the Middle with You" 81 00:03:24,219 --> 00:03:25,535 Aired on: May 14, 2020 82 00:03:26,594 --> 00:03:29,070 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 83 00:03:29,282 --> 00:03:30,788 Sync & corrections by srjanapala 84 00:03:31,152 --> 00:03:32,510 Hey. 85 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,549 I'm "on the beer"? 86 00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:46,236 I made $300 last year recycling your wine bottles. 87 00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:50,057 I'm sorry. I-I know you didn't do anything wrong. 88 00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,862 It's just, you know, when my mom is here, 89 00:03:51,947 --> 00:03:53,314 I have to be perfect. 90 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,581 Hey, hey. Remember when your mom wasn't here? 91 00:03:55,666 --> 00:03:57,322 That was great, right? 92 00:03:58,269 --> 00:03:59,796 I just don't want to disappoint her. 93 00:04:00,021 --> 00:04:01,721 You know, it's like I'm ten years old. 94 00:04:01,805 --> 00:04:03,549 Why can't you just tell your mom 95 00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:06,117 that you don't feel like you can be yourself around her? 96 00:04:06,201 --> 00:04:08,032 I-I think she needs to hear that. 97 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,447 You're right. She does need to hear that. 98 00:04:10,532 --> 00:04:11,532 Finally. 99 00:04:11,749 --> 00:04:13,534 But with one small adjustment. 100 00:04:13,619 --> 00:04:14,951 You see, I think 101 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,080 that she needs to hear it from you. 102 00:04:17,165 --> 00:04:19,143 Wha... No. 103 00:04:19,228 --> 00:04:21,741 No. You're always putting me in the middle. 104 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,372 Yeah, yeah. You're my buffer. 105 00:04:25,477 --> 00:04:27,455 My big, buff buffer. 106 00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:29,240 Yeah, but I don't like it. 107 00:04:29,752 --> 00:04:31,987 You know? We're barely over last Thanksgiving, 108 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,292 when you made me tell her that her cranberry salad 109 00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:37,148 looked like a raccoon that swallowed a firecracker. 110 00:04:37,923 --> 00:04:40,659 Come on. Once more for me? 111 00:04:40,744 --> 00:04:41,979 One last job. 112 00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:43,768 You know, in the movies, 113 00:04:43,853 --> 00:04:46,197 they always get killed on that one last job. 114 00:04:46,502 --> 00:04:48,628 I-It... It'll be great. It'll be great. 115 00:04:48,713 --> 00:04:50,944 After dinner, I'll go to bed and you can talk to her. 116 00:04:51,028 --> 00:04:53,905 And then, when I wake up, all the bad stuff will be over. 117 00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:56,123 Just like surgery. 118 00:04:57,393 --> 00:04:59,580 Fine. I'll talk to her. 119 00:04:59,721 --> 00:05:02,064 But I'm gonna be on the beer when I do it. 120 00:05:06,972 --> 00:05:08,230 Okay. 121 00:05:08,315 --> 00:05:09,628 Hey. 122 00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:12,446 Kids are all tucked in. Where's Andi? 123 00:05:12,531 --> 00:05:14,620 - Uh, already in bed. - Yeah. 124 00:05:14,704 --> 00:05:16,579 Somehow I got you all to myself. 125 00:05:17,547 --> 00:05:18,666 But, um, 126 00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:21,946 it's good, because, uh, I need to talk to you about something, 127 00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:23,797 and it's a little delicate. 128 00:05:23,945 --> 00:05:26,197 Okay. Before we get to that, I have 129 00:05:26,281 --> 00:05:29,023 to tell you something, and it's-it's pretty personal. 130 00:05:33,487 --> 00:05:36,062 That sounds like an anybody-but-me situation. 131 00:05:36,226 --> 00:05:38,657 Oh, but you know that I love you like a son. 132 00:05:38,742 --> 00:05:40,391 And you've been so wonderful to me 133 00:05:40,476 --> 00:05:42,648 from the first moment that we met. 134 00:05:42,867 --> 00:05:45,118 Oh, I-I think you misunderstood. 135 00:05:45,203 --> 00:05:47,344 I was just trying to sleep with your daughter. 136 00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:50,984 Adam, you're so funny. 137 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:57,523 But the thing is, I've left Andi's father. 138 00:05:59,764 --> 00:06:00,839 What? 139 00:06:00,924 --> 00:06:02,867 Yeah. Oh, no, it's okay, it's okay. 140 00:06:02,952 --> 00:06:06,000 Oh, Frank and I have known this was coming for a long time. 141 00:06:06,147 --> 00:06:10,414 But last Thursday Frank sneezed too loud and I just had it. 142 00:06:12,054 --> 00:06:13,672 Oh, Alice, I'm sorry. 143 00:06:13,757 --> 00:06:15,141 Oh, d... no, don't be. 144 00:06:15,226 --> 00:06:17,773 I am rediscovering who I am. 145 00:06:17,897 --> 00:06:19,687 I mean, who knows, I might be a vegan. 146 00:06:19,772 --> 00:06:23,031 I might be a Democrat or I might be a lesbian. 147 00:06:24,121 --> 00:06:25,359 Wow. 148 00:06:25,444 --> 00:06:28,843 Well, it's nice to have options. 149 00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:31,992 Yeah. I do have one favor to ask you, though. 150 00:06:32,077 --> 00:06:33,995 - Yeah, sure, anything, anything. - Well, uh, 151 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,625 Andi's gonna need to hear the news. 152 00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:37,226 - That'll be tough. - Yeah. 153 00:06:37,311 --> 00:06:39,257 Which is why I'd like her to hear it from you. 154 00:06:41,499 --> 00:06:43,852 That puts me in the middle. 155 00:06:44,601 --> 00:06:46,059 You're gonna do a super job. 156 00:06:46,143 --> 00:06:48,031 And I'll take the kids to the zoo tomorrow. 157 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,324 And when I get back, all the messiness will be over. 158 00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:53,656 It's just like surgery. 159 00:07:09,608 --> 00:07:10,937 You scared me. 160 00:07:11,022 --> 00:07:12,693 Oh, good, good. Your mind is prepared 161 00:07:12,778 --> 00:07:14,435 for something horrible again. 162 00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:16,703 Oh, did the talk with my mom not go well? 163 00:07:16,788 --> 00:07:19,750 Well... there were some complications during surgery. 164 00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,031 She told me some tough news. 165 00:07:22,671 --> 00:07:25,141 Oh, my God. Did something happen to the Yorkies? 166 00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:26,969 Kind of. 167 00:07:27,053 --> 00:07:29,055 Their parents split up. 168 00:07:30,828 --> 00:07:32,695 Listen, I am here for you. 169 00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:34,804 Whatever you need, you just tell me. 170 00:07:35,042 --> 00:07:37,882 'Cause you know I won't know on my own. 171 00:07:41,343 --> 00:07:42,953 God, my poor dad. 172 00:07:43,038 --> 00:07:45,304 Yeah, well, the good news is, I called to check on him. 173 00:07:45,429 --> 00:07:46,711 He's doing great. 174 00:07:46,862 --> 00:07:48,467 He's gonna open a topless car wash 175 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,728 called Put 'Em on the Glass. 176 00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:54,578 Yeah, he's been talking about that for years. 177 00:07:54,819 --> 00:07:56,617 Oh. Well, that makes sense. 178 00:07:56,702 --> 00:07:59,351 Yeah, you don't come up with a clever name like that overnight. 179 00:08:00,874 --> 00:08:02,734 I just... I never saw this coming, 180 00:08:02,826 --> 00:08:04,266 but I... although I don't know why I would. 181 00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:05,938 She never tells me anything. She didn't even tell me this. 182 00:08:06,022 --> 00:08:08,279 She made you do it. And I don't appreciate 183 00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:09,672 her making you tell me things. 184 00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,437 You should go tell her that. 185 00:08:13,234 --> 00:08:16,629 What? That puts me in the middle again. 186 00:08:17,928 --> 00:08:21,179 Adam, 20 years ago, you made a promise to me... 187 00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:23,515 In a church. I remember. 188 00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:27,025 I should've read the fine print. 189 00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:31,572 No You know what would solve everything? 190 00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:33,023 Is if your mom wasn't here. 191 00:08:33,234 --> 00:08:35,718 Oh, I can't kick her out now. She'll think I'm upset with her. 192 00:08:35,803 --> 00:08:36,804 You are upset with her. 193 00:08:36,889 --> 00:08:39,014 That's why she can't know. That's how we do it. 194 00:08:40,382 --> 00:08:42,189 That's ridiculous. 195 00:08:42,312 --> 00:08:44,361 But what I'm hearing is, 196 00:08:44,446 --> 00:08:47,205 if you two can talk things out, she can go? 197 00:08:47,555 --> 00:08:48,947 Uh... I like it. 198 00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:52,558 I like it. Now that there's a little cheese in the trap, 199 00:08:52,643 --> 00:08:53,734 I'm interested. 200 00:08:55,759 --> 00:08:57,212 Ah. Good morning. 201 00:08:57,297 --> 00:08:58,737 Hi, Mom. 202 00:08:59,658 --> 00:09:01,986 You told her already? But I'm still here. 203 00:09:02,071 --> 00:09:03,989 The damn zoo doesn't open till 10:00. 204 00:09:04,161 --> 00:09:05,416 Oh... 205 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,245 Okay. Okay, okay, okay, no more of this. 206 00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:09,768 I-I'm done being the middleman. 207 00:09:09,852 --> 00:09:13,935 Okay? You two need to talk to each other like grown women, 208 00:09:14,151 --> 00:09:16,349 not like a ten-year-old and her mother. 209 00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:19,353 How are we supposed to magically be able to do that? 210 00:09:19,887 --> 00:09:22,124 I don't know. With alcohol. 211 00:09:22,224 --> 00:09:23,419 Go... go out, 212 00:09:23,504 --> 00:09:25,956 get drunk, say a bunch of things you can't take back. 213 00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:28,464 Act like a family, for God's sakes. 214 00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,928 So, Frank and Alice are calling it a day, huh? 215 00:09:35,013 --> 00:09:38,321 Phew. Talk about dropping out of the marathon at mile 25. 216 00:09:40,005 --> 00:09:41,857 Well, it's sad they're breaking up, 217 00:09:42,005 --> 00:09:44,286 but Frank's got a winner with that car wash. 218 00:09:44,482 --> 00:09:46,919 I mean, it's hard to compete with soapy hooters. 219 00:09:47,247 --> 00:09:48,489 Well, now I'm stuck in a house 220 00:09:48,574 --> 00:09:50,647 with two women who can't communicate. 221 00:09:50,732 --> 00:09:52,880 So I'm sending them to a bar to see if some cocktails 222 00:09:52,974 --> 00:09:54,677 will help them open up to each other. 223 00:09:54,957 --> 00:09:57,162 I don't need drinks to tell the truth. 224 00:09:57,247 --> 00:09:59,256 I'll be honest anywhere, anytime. 225 00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:01,848 You look tired. See? 226 00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:06,542 If I'm honest, you could be a little less honest. 227 00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:08,989 Without Frank around, 228 00:10:09,271 --> 00:10:13,099 I'll bet Alice is gonna try to take over as favorite grandma. 229 00:10:13,505 --> 00:10:16,910 I got cocky because I was local, but now 230 00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:20,099 I got to step up my game. 231 00:10:21,294 --> 00:10:22,372 I'm hungry. 232 00:10:22,457 --> 00:10:23,755 I'm on it. 233 00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:27,150 How about ice cream for dinner, hmm? 234 00:10:27,423 --> 00:10:31,570 Grandma Alice makes you eat vegetables. What a dud. 235 00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:36,441 Hey, Alice. 236 00:10:36,526 --> 00:10:37,531 Hey, what's happening up here? 237 00:10:37,615 --> 00:10:38,932 Looks like you had some work done. 238 00:10:39,016 --> 00:10:40,668 Oh, thanks, Don. 239 00:10:40,753 --> 00:10:42,891 No, since, since I'm back in the dating game, 240 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,199 I watched a video about how to do a smoky eye. 241 00:10:45,283 --> 00:10:46,940 Been there. 242 00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:49,783 Hey, Alice, you, uh, you ready for tonight? 243 00:10:49,868 --> 00:10:52,032 Just have a real conversation with Andi. 244 00:10:52,116 --> 00:10:53,767 Talk about what you're going through. 245 00:10:53,876 --> 00:10:55,151 Well, it's been emotional... 246 00:10:55,236 --> 00:10:57,087 Not to me, to Andi. 247 00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:58,299 You did it again, there. 248 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,389 Oh, Joe's here. 249 00:11:01,473 --> 00:11:04,608 Let's see if your mother-in-law can still make the dogs bark. 250 00:11:06,304 --> 00:11:07,351 She's a grandmother. 251 00:11:07,435 --> 00:11:09,223 Why can't she just bake some cookies? 252 00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:11,686 God, Joe, look at you. 253 00:11:11,822 --> 00:11:14,471 The older you get, the more distinguished you look. 254 00:11:14,587 --> 00:11:15,794 Oh, that's what they tell me. 255 00:11:16,498 --> 00:11:17,665 Well, I'm glad I found you, 256 00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:18,819 'cause I need a little help. 257 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,468 - Hmm? - Mmm. Ugh. 258 00:11:20,783 --> 00:11:22,858 - Zip me up, would you? - Oh. 259 00:11:24,743 --> 00:11:26,789 What the hell am I looking at? 260 00:11:28,725 --> 00:11:30,331 What the hell am I looking at? 261 00:11:30,811 --> 00:11:32,913 I'm zipping it up, not down, Bev. 262 00:11:32,998 --> 00:11:35,003 You haven't zipped me up since the '60s. 263 00:11:35,199 --> 00:11:37,334 You tell me to hook it with a back scratcher. 264 00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:40,159 We're leaving, Joe. 265 00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:42,038 We'll talk about this when we get home. 266 00:11:42,318 --> 00:11:44,257 I can't help it, it's these khakis. 267 00:11:44,342 --> 00:11:46,126 Tight in all the right places. 268 00:11:48,948 --> 00:11:50,567 Okay. I'm ready. 269 00:11:50,652 --> 00:11:51,961 There's my girl. 270 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,702 Okay, you got this, babe, all right? 271 00:11:53,786 --> 00:11:55,747 You get a little tipsy, talk things out, 272 00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,445 and then it’s adios, Alice. 273 00:11:57,529 --> 00:12:00,053 Huh? It's gonna be great. Especially that last part. 274 00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:02,577 Okay, come on, Alice. Put your game face on. 275 00:12:02,664 --> 00:12:03,755 We are walking. 276 00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:05,155 Hustle. Hustle, hustle, hustle. 277 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,375 Okay. Hustle, hustle. 278 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:09,069 Okay. All right. Hey, hey. 279 00:12:09,154 --> 00:12:11,303 Just have a real conversation with her. 280 00:12:11,388 --> 00:12:12,783 Okay, well, don't get your hopes up. 281 00:12:12,867 --> 00:12:15,897 - We don't have those. - That's the spirit. Off you go. 282 00:12:17,077 --> 00:12:18,204 Dad? 283 00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:20,053 We heard about Nana and Pop-Pop. 284 00:12:20,158 --> 00:12:21,250 Is everything okay? 285 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,983 Oh. Uh, listen, 286 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,280 I don't want you guys to worry 287 00:12:24,365 --> 00:12:26,241 because your grandparents split up, all right? 288 00:12:26,335 --> 00:12:27,578 Yeah, your dad's right. 289 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,398 There's a super volcano under Yellowstone 290 00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:31,882 that's gonna make this the least of your problems. 291 00:12:40,225 --> 00:12:41,621 - There they are. - Hi. 292 00:12:41,745 --> 00:12:42,662 How'd it go? 293 00:12:42,746 --> 00:12:45,139 Oh. It was so beautiful. 294 00:12:45,224 --> 00:12:47,617 Oh, I thought this might work. 295 00:12:47,702 --> 00:12:50,311 Therapy's great, but liquor's quicker. 296 00:12:51,014 --> 00:12:53,412 I mean, for the first time, we could just be ourselves. 297 00:12:53,496 --> 00:12:55,066 It's the most open we've ever been.Yeah. 298 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,453 I think I was so closed off before 299 00:12:57,538 --> 00:12:59,922 because I had to be perfect to convince myself 300 00:13:00,007 --> 00:13:01,554 - that I was happy. - Oh, yeah, 301 00:13:01,639 --> 00:13:02,672 I don't need the details. 302 00:13:02,757 --> 00:13:04,944 I was just looking for thumbs up, thumbs down. 303 00:13:05,623 --> 00:13:06,946 Ooh. And guess what. 304 00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:09,359 Our Uber driver asked my mom for her number. 305 00:13:09,444 --> 00:13:10,624 Ah. 306 00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:12,366 Yeah, but he seemed like a gentleman, right? 307 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:14,116 - He always used his turn signal. - Yeah. 308 00:13:14,201 --> 00:13:16,468 Well, good for you. 309 00:13:16,553 --> 00:13:19,039 Ah... and now that things are resolved between you two, 310 00:13:19,124 --> 00:13:21,092 you can go start your new life. 311 00:13:21,249 --> 00:13:24,382 And where better to do that than not here? 312 00:13:24,528 --> 00:13:25,967 She's not going anywhere. 313 00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:28,405 Like, we've just started to bond. 314 00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:30,181 As-as far as I'm concerned, she could stay here forever. 315 00:13:30,265 --> 00:13:31,945 Oh... Forever? 316 00:13:32,068 --> 00:13:33,217 What...? 317 00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:35,476 How can she stay forever if she's leaving? 318 00:13:35,561 --> 00:13:37,242 That doesn't make sense. 319 00:13:38,653 --> 00:13:40,390 I'm just happy that my daughter 320 00:13:40,475 --> 00:13:42,311 wants me around forever. 321 00:13:42,396 --> 00:13:43,579 Aw... 322 00:13:43,664 --> 00:13:45,672 Thanks for making us talk, Adam. 323 00:13:45,757 --> 00:13:47,205 You know, you did this. 324 00:13:47,365 --> 00:13:49,810 Aw, you don't have to rub it in. 325 00:13:53,703 --> 00:13:55,330 Listen, we need to talk about 326 00:13:55,415 --> 00:13:57,732 how long your mom's gonna be staying with us, because 327 00:13:57,825 --> 00:14:00,250 the answer to that can't be "forever." 328 00:14:01,729 --> 00:14:03,151 Sure, baby. 329 00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:05,174 Why don't you come chat about it under the covers? 330 00:14:05,258 --> 00:14:08,293 No, no, no-no-no-no, this is serious. 331 00:14:08,378 --> 00:14:09,703 - Your mom is... - Blah, 332 00:14:09,796 --> 00:14:11,384 blah, blah, take your shirt off. 333 00:14:11,469 --> 00:14:13,023 What? No, wait. Honey, honey. 334 00:14:13,358 --> 00:14:15,449 We have important things to discuss. 335 00:14:15,534 --> 00:14:17,609 But I'm feeling so good. 336 00:14:19,273 --> 00:14:21,794 I am not a machine. 337 00:14:22,265 --> 00:14:24,413 Okay, you can't just turn me on. 338 00:14:30,712 --> 00:14:32,888 - Okay, we'll talk tomorrow. - Ooh! 339 00:14:34,586 --> 00:14:37,505 Forever. That was the exact word she used. 340 00:14:37,817 --> 00:14:40,945 So, just get Andi to ask Alice to leave. 341 00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:42,382 I tried that. 342 00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,905 But she bewitched me with sex. 343 00:14:45,225 --> 00:14:46,350 Wives will do that. 344 00:14:46,648 --> 00:14:48,469 That's why I don't have a snowmobile. 345 00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,578 Or a say in anything. 346 00:14:51,569 --> 00:14:52,648 I don't know what to do. 347 00:14:52,733 --> 00:14:53,876 My wife is happy, 348 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,362 but I'm living with my mother-in-law. 349 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:58,711 It's crazy. I got lonely Uber drivers circling my house 350 00:14:58,795 --> 00:15:00,336 like it's the airport. 351 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,094 So, the question is, whose happiness 352 00:15:04,179 --> 00:15:07,539 is more important, yours or Andi's? 353 00:15:08,351 --> 00:15:11,304 Why did you ask it like that? Are you wearing a wire? 354 00:15:12,969 --> 00:15:14,781 I got the solution to this. 355 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,437 Does it involve a super volcano? 356 00:15:18,381 --> 00:15:21,398 No. But now I need a minute. 357 00:15:23,711 --> 00:15:24,823 You know, Mom, 358 00:15:24,908 --> 00:15:26,601 this week has been so fun. 359 00:15:26,705 --> 00:15:28,392 You know, we're so comfortable around each other now, 360 00:15:28,476 --> 00:15:29,859 we can shop for bras. 361 00:15:29,944 --> 00:15:30,963 I mean, before this, I don't even think 362 00:15:31,047 --> 00:15:32,789 I could say "bra" to you. 363 00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:35,578 Hey, do you like this one? 364 00:15:35,831 --> 00:15:39,229 Uh... that's too complicated to unhook. 365 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,937 I'm gonna be dating men in the early stages of arthritis, 366 00:15:42,022 --> 00:15:43,812 I want to make it easy on them. 367 00:15:49,676 --> 00:15:53,318 Oh. Wow, uh, maybe you should pick your own bra. 368 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,203 This is what friends do. 369 00:15:57,288 --> 00:15:58,351 Oh, and I have to tell you, 370 00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:01,717 I am loving this sexual freedom. 371 00:16:03,154 --> 00:16:05,085 See, now, your dad, he wanted his wife 372 00:16:05,170 --> 00:16:06,490 to be this bra. 373 00:16:06,575 --> 00:16:08,475 But I wanted to be this bra. 374 00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,976 I mean, you know, come on, let's try some stuff, Frank. 375 00:16:12,060 --> 00:16:14,178 Pull my hair once in a while. 376 00:16:17,068 --> 00:16:18,181 Okay. 377 00:16:18,265 --> 00:16:19,514 So, for my wife's happiness, 378 00:16:19,599 --> 00:16:20,821 I am just going to accept the fact 379 00:16:20,905 --> 00:16:22,866 that my mother-in-law lives with us. 380 00:16:22,951 --> 00:16:25,232 I'm gonna be a better person. I'm gonna be that guy. 381 00:16:25,826 --> 00:16:27,982 That guy sleeps in the garage. 382 00:16:28,774 --> 00:16:30,600 Eventually with the car running. 383 00:16:31,856 --> 00:16:34,319 Don does paint a bleak picture. 384 00:16:34,873 --> 00:16:36,156 But... 385 00:16:36,404 --> 00:16:39,920 But nothing, I just thought he did a nice job describing it. 386 00:16:43,519 --> 00:16:45,315 My mom's got to go. 387 00:16:46,189 --> 00:16:48,190 Oh, thank God. I was trying to be a better person, 388 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:49,979 but it just doesn't feel like me. 389 00:16:50,369 --> 00:16:51,820 What changed your mind? 390 00:16:51,905 --> 00:16:54,652 Well, like, I'm glad that my mom and I are more open. 391 00:16:54,737 --> 00:16:57,546 But now it’s too open. 392 00:16:58,305 --> 00:17:01,866 I-I-If she leaves, maybe we can just slow this whole thing down. 393 00:17:01,951 --> 00:17:03,648 "If she leaves." I like where you're going with this. 394 00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:04,823 What do you need from me? 395 00:17:04,908 --> 00:17:06,077 Help me get rid of her. 396 00:17:06,162 --> 00:17:08,516 But without making her feel like we're getting rid of her. 397 00:17:08,601 --> 00:17:09,668 Okay. All right. 398 00:17:09,752 --> 00:17:11,670 Using underhanded means to get what I want. 399 00:17:11,754 --> 00:17:13,312 Now this feels like me. 400 00:17:17,155 --> 00:17:20,382 Okay, Mom. Per your request, I made you a flirtini. 401 00:17:20,481 --> 00:17:25,448 So, here's to your sexual awakening, I guess. 402 00:17:25,956 --> 00:17:28,823 Thanks, honey. That's very woke of you. 403 00:17:28,908 --> 00:17:29,979 I've been on the Internet. 404 00:17:34,213 --> 00:17:35,257 Hey. 405 00:17:35,342 --> 00:17:36,838 Thanks for coming. You ready to do this? 406 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:39,501 It'll be easy. I'll let the khakis do the talking. 407 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,414 Oh. Hi, Joe. 408 00:17:43,499 --> 00:17:45,347 Ah, there she is. 409 00:17:45,488 --> 00:17:48,344 The soft spring night can only be enhanced 410 00:17:48,429 --> 00:17:50,413 by a beautiful woman. 411 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,130 Alice, let's dance. 412 00:17:53,449 --> 00:17:56,647 Since that night I zipped you, I've been dying to dip you. 413 00:17:57,082 --> 00:17:59,788 But, Joe, you're married to Bev. 414 00:17:59,873 --> 00:18:01,515 And you used to be married to Frank. 415 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,163 We're halfway there. 416 00:18:07,030 --> 00:18:09,718 I knew when I saw your Old Spice on the counter, 417 00:18:09,803 --> 00:18:11,311 you were up to no good. 418 00:18:12,118 --> 00:18:15,402 And you... you get your hands off my man. 419 00:18:15,487 --> 00:18:16,835 It's not what it looks like. 420 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,280 It is if it looks like love. 421 00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:22,741 Joe, come on, stop it. No, Bev, Bev, 422 00:18:22,889 --> 00:18:24,889 I didn't mean for any of this to happen. 423 00:18:25,143 --> 00:18:29,063 I-I think it's my new bra. It unleashed something. 424 00:18:29,366 --> 00:18:32,241 Touch my husband again and I'll unleash something. 425 00:18:32,326 --> 00:18:33,967 - Ma, easy, Ma, easy. - Get off me. 426 00:18:34,052 --> 00:18:35,444 Easy. 427 00:18:36,552 --> 00:18:38,515 Mom, may-maybe you should head upstairs. 428 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,932 I don't know how long he can hold her. 429 00:18:40,016 --> 00:18:42,077 Honey, I don't know if upstairs is far enough. 430 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,341 Where else could she go? 431 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,647 I don't know. No one in this family's safe 432 00:18:45,732 --> 00:18:48,147 with her kind of raw sexuality around. 433 00:18:48,263 --> 00:18:50,187 A cougar needs to hunt. 434 00:18:52,071 --> 00:18:53,680 You know, maybe it is time for me to leave 435 00:18:53,764 --> 00:18:54,898 and start my new life. 436 00:18:54,983 --> 00:18:57,147 W... O-Only if it's right for you. 437 00:18:57,271 --> 00:19:00,124 Yeah, well, maybe I could take a trip to Italy. 438 00:19:00,255 --> 00:19:03,546 The land of olive oil and hairy men. 439 00:19:03,839 --> 00:19:05,882 Tell your story walking. 440 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,936 And if I see you around here again, 441 00:19:09,021 --> 00:19:10,374 I'll give you a smoky eye 442 00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:12,244 without the makeup. 443 00:19:14,311 --> 00:19:15,600 Mom. 444 00:19:15,711 --> 00:19:17,977 You were terrifying. Great performance. 445 00:19:18,062 --> 00:19:19,371 What are you talking about? 446 00:19:19,456 --> 00:19:22,375 What? Wh-Why don't you know what I'm talking about? 447 00:19:23,335 --> 00:19:25,603 Bev, there you are. I've been looking all over for you. 448 00:19:25,688 --> 00:19:27,063 I didn't get to tell her about the plan. 449 00:19:27,147 --> 00:19:28,757 - Ugh, no... - What plan? 450 00:19:28,842 --> 00:19:31,326 Dad was just faking it to get Alice to leave. 451 00:19:32,061 --> 00:19:34,085 Ah? Oh! 452 00:19:34,288 --> 00:19:36,524 I'm sorry, Joe. 453 00:19:36,772 --> 00:19:39,639 I wish I'd known. I wouldn't have held back. 454 00:19:40,225 --> 00:19:41,671 That was holding back? 455 00:19:41,756 --> 00:19:44,319 Yeah. My mom can beat up your mom. 456 00:19:48,407 --> 00:19:50,514 - Bye, Mom. - Bye, Alice. 457 00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:52,186 Close the door. 458 00:19:52,865 --> 00:19:54,264 Have fun in Italy. 459 00:19:54,349 --> 00:19:55,960 Close the door! 460 00:19:59,021 --> 00:20:01,548 Honey. Do you understand what just happened? 461 00:20:01,648 --> 00:20:04,256 Yeah. You closed the door so your mom can't get back in. 462 00:20:04,341 --> 00:20:05,546 No. 463 00:20:05,695 --> 00:20:06,818 No. 464 00:20:06,903 --> 00:20:08,777 Our whole relationship has changed. 465 00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:11,069 I can finally be myself around her. 466 00:20:11,154 --> 00:20:13,811 Of course, I'll have to get used to her being herself around me, 467 00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:15,952 but it’s a big step forward. 468 00:20:16,976 --> 00:20:18,297 And it's all thanks to you. 469 00:20:18,382 --> 00:20:19,850 Aw, well, I'm happy for you. 470 00:20:19,935 --> 00:20:21,026 Hmm. 471 00:20:21,111 --> 00:20:22,580 Hey. You know how we should celebrate? 472 00:20:22,664 --> 00:20:25,632 Do, do, do that thing where you unbutton my buttons. 473 00:20:27,984 --> 00:20:29,132 Hmm. 474 00:20:29,907 --> 00:20:32,319 Honey... it's been a crazy week. 475 00:20:32,404 --> 00:20:34,280 Let's just watch TV. 476 00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:40,507 I miss your mom. 34865

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