Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,046 --> 00:00:03,718
It says here
there's a super volcano
2
00:00:03,803 --> 00:00:05,054
in Yellowstone
that's gonna explode and
3
00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:06,615
- destroy the world.
- Yeah?
4
00:00:06,843 --> 00:00:09,296
So, yes,
I will have another beer.
5
00:00:11,772 --> 00:00:12,816
Who's that?
6
00:00:12,901 --> 00:00:14,468
We're everybody you know.
7
00:00:15,937 --> 00:00:17,782
You know who's not gonna
knock before they come
8
00:00:17,867 --> 00:00:20,156
into your house?
Super volcano.
9
00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:23,572
Adam.
10
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,094
Alice.
11
00:00:25,671 --> 00:00:26,977
Yeah.
12
00:00:27,062 --> 00:00:28,754
Look, guys,
it's my mother-in-law
13
00:00:28,839 --> 00:00:31,059
at my door with
no warning.
14
00:00:31,634 --> 00:00:33,242
I just wanted a nice visit
15
00:00:33,327 --> 00:00:35,071
with my family.
Ah.Where's Andi?
16
00:00:35,156 --> 00:00:36,904
Uh, she's out buying
new towels.
17
00:00:36,990 --> 00:00:38,298
Yeah, she asked
if I wanted to go with her,
18
00:00:38,382 --> 00:00:39,547
and now I regret saying no.
19
00:00:39,632 --> 00:00:40,919
Oh.
20
00:00:41,146 --> 00:00:43,960
Oh, Adam,
I love your little jokes.
21
00:00:45,483 --> 00:00:46,663
I'm gonna go upstairs
22
00:00:46,748 --> 00:00:48,429
- and surprise the kids.
- Okay.
23
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:49,971
Hey, Don.
24
00:00:50,055 --> 00:00:52,147
Hello, little man
I don't know.
25
00:00:54,733 --> 00:00:57,077
Where's your super volcano
when I need it?
26
00:01:00,598 --> 00:01:03,005
- The nuts are better.
- Oh, good, you found my brownies.
27
00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:04,864
I was saving those.
28
00:01:06,395 --> 00:01:08,615
- Where's Alice?
- Upstairs unpacking.
29
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,383
She's really making herself
comfortable.
30
00:01:10,467 --> 00:01:12,730
She already turned
the thermostat up to 80.
31
00:01:14,168 --> 00:01:16,325
Andi is not gonna
like this surprise.
32
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,512
Well, what's the big deal?
Alice seems nice.
33
00:01:18,597 --> 00:01:20,903
Uh, she is,
but she makes Andi crazy.
34
00:01:20,988 --> 00:01:23,036
And instead of telling her mom
she makes her crazy,
35
00:01:23,121 --> 00:01:24,353
Andi puts me in the middle.
36
00:01:24,437 --> 00:01:26,755
And I have to take it,
because of one promise
37
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,809
I made in a church
20 years ago.
38
00:01:31,557 --> 00:01:33,798
Andi's home.
I better go warn her outside,
39
00:01:33,914 --> 00:01:35,770
away from anything
breakable.
40
00:01:38,885 --> 00:01:40,193
Hey, honey.
41
00:01:40,278 --> 00:01:41,825
I got the towels.
Oh, and I picked up
42
00:01:41,910 --> 00:01:43,052
- Teddy's new baseball bat.
- Ooh.
43
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:44,950
Let me hold that for you.
44
00:01:46,746 --> 00:01:48,203
And can I just say
45
00:01:48,287 --> 00:01:49,944
that you look beautiful
46
00:01:50,129 --> 00:01:54,356
and I will love you
until the end of time.
47
00:01:56,379 --> 00:01:58,707
What happened and
how upset am I going to be?
48
00:01:59,364 --> 00:02:02,309
Good, your mind is prepared
for something horrible.
49
00:02:02,737 --> 00:02:03,935
Your mom is here.
50
00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:05,419
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
51
00:02:05,504 --> 00:02:07,794
But we're not ready.
I mean, I-I haven't steamed
52
00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:10,182
or cleaned or washed
or prepped.
53
00:02:11,418 --> 00:02:13,817
It looks like
our regular house in there.
54
00:02:14,746 --> 00:02:16,676
Smart to get rid
of the bat, huh?
55
00:02:17,882 --> 00:02:19,234
A volcano's bad enough,
56
00:02:19,318 --> 00:02:22,106
but a super volcano will
take your head right off.
57
00:02:23,366 --> 00:02:24,544
Hi, Mom.
58
00:02:24,629 --> 00:02:26,067
Oh, there she is.
59
00:02:26,151 --> 00:02:28,215
Oh, Don was just telling me
how we're all gonna die.
60
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:29,668
Ah.
61
00:02:29,753 --> 00:02:32,387
Ah, this is such a surprise.
62
00:02:32,472 --> 00:02:34,302
You're here.
63
00:02:35,028 --> 00:02:37,839
Without calling or texting or
any of the things people do.
64
00:02:38,974 --> 00:02:40,239
Where's Dad?
65
00:02:40,324 --> 00:02:43,083
Oh, he's having a staycation
with George and Fred.
66
00:02:43,168 --> 00:02:44,942
Those are our Yorkies.
67
00:02:46,174 --> 00:02:48,482
We gave them human names
so it wouldn't be weird
68
00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,075
when they sit and eat
at the table.
69
00:02:51,845 --> 00:02:53,832
Now, u-uh, Mom, b-before
you say anything,
70
00:02:53,917 --> 00:02:56,365
o-our house is
usually much neater.
71
00:02:56,450 --> 00:02:57,786
Oh, it looks fine.
72
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,096
Yeah, sure.
73
00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:02,575
Um... let's go into
the living room, huh?
74
00:03:02,818 --> 00:03:05,286
Where the couch pillows
better be fluffed.
75
00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:07,825
They might be.
76
00:03:08,683 --> 00:03:11,012
I never know what you mean
when you say that.
77
00:03:12,642 --> 00:03:14,224
He knows
what a fluffy pillow is, Mom.
78
00:03:14,309 --> 00:03:17,653
You can't listen to him.
He's on the beer.
79
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,652
*MAN WITH A PLAN*
Season 04 Episode 09
80
00:03:22,737 --> 00:03:24,135
Episode Title:
"Stuck in the Middle with You"
81
00:03:24,219 --> 00:03:25,535
Aired on:
May 14, 2020
82
00:03:26,594 --> 00:03:29,070
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
83
00:03:29,282 --> 00:03:30,788
Sync & corrections by srjanapala
84
00:03:31,152 --> 00:03:32,510
Hey.
85
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,549
I'm "on the beer"?
86
00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:46,236
I made $300 last year
recycling your wine bottles.
87
00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:50,057
I'm sorry. I-I know you
didn't do anything wrong.
88
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,862
It's just, you know,
when my mom is here,
89
00:03:51,947 --> 00:03:53,314
I have to be perfect.
90
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,581
Hey, hey. Remember when
your mom wasn't here?
91
00:03:55,666 --> 00:03:57,322
That was great, right?
92
00:03:58,269 --> 00:03:59,796
I just don't want
to disappoint her.
93
00:04:00,021 --> 00:04:01,721
You know, it's like
I'm ten years old.
94
00:04:01,805 --> 00:04:03,549
Why can't you just
tell your mom
95
00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:06,117
that you don't feel like
you can be yourself around her?
96
00:04:06,201 --> 00:04:08,032
I-I think she needs
to hear that.
97
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,447
You're right.
She does need to hear that.
98
00:04:10,532 --> 00:04:11,532
Finally.
99
00:04:11,749 --> 00:04:13,534
But with one small
adjustment.
100
00:04:13,619 --> 00:04:14,951
You see, I think
101
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,080
that she needs
to hear it from you.
102
00:04:17,165 --> 00:04:19,143
Wha... No.
103
00:04:19,228 --> 00:04:21,741
No. You're always putting
me in the middle.
104
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,372
Yeah, yeah.
You're my buffer.
105
00:04:25,477 --> 00:04:27,455
My big, buff buffer.
106
00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:29,240
Yeah, but I don't like it.
107
00:04:29,752 --> 00:04:31,987
You know? We're barely over
last Thanksgiving,
108
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,292
when you made me tell her
that her cranberry salad
109
00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:37,148
looked like a raccoon
that swallowed a firecracker.
110
00:04:37,923 --> 00:04:40,659
Come on.
Once more for me?
111
00:04:40,744 --> 00:04:41,979
One last job.
112
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:43,768
You know, in the movies,
113
00:04:43,853 --> 00:04:46,197
they always get killed
on that one last job.
114
00:04:46,502 --> 00:04:48,628
I-It... It'll be great.
It'll be great.
115
00:04:48,713 --> 00:04:50,944
After dinner, I'll go to bed
and you can talk to her.
116
00:04:51,028 --> 00:04:53,905
And then, when I wake up,
all the bad stuff will be over.
117
00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:56,123
Just like surgery.
118
00:04:57,393 --> 00:04:59,580
Fine.
I'll talk to her.
119
00:04:59,721 --> 00:05:02,064
But I'm gonna be on the beer
when I do it.
120
00:05:06,972 --> 00:05:08,230
Okay.
121
00:05:08,315 --> 00:05:09,628
Hey.
122
00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:12,446
Kids are all tucked in.
Where's Andi?
123
00:05:12,531 --> 00:05:14,620
- Uh, already in bed.
- Yeah.
124
00:05:14,704 --> 00:05:16,579
Somehow I got you all
to myself.
125
00:05:17,547 --> 00:05:18,666
But, um,
126
00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:21,946
it's good, because, uh, I need
to talk to you about something,
127
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:23,797
and it's a little delicate.
128
00:05:23,945 --> 00:05:26,197
Okay.
Before we get to that, I have
129
00:05:26,281 --> 00:05:29,023
to tell you something,
and it's-it's pretty personal.
130
00:05:33,487 --> 00:05:36,062
That sounds like
an anybody-but-me situation.
131
00:05:36,226 --> 00:05:38,657
Oh, but you know
that I love you like a son.
132
00:05:38,742 --> 00:05:40,391
And you've been
so wonderful to me
133
00:05:40,476 --> 00:05:42,648
from the first moment
that we met.
134
00:05:42,867 --> 00:05:45,118
Oh, I-I think
you misunderstood.
135
00:05:45,203 --> 00:05:47,344
I was just trying to sleep
with your daughter.
136
00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:50,984
Adam, you're so funny.
137
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:57,523
But the thing is,
I've left Andi's father.
138
00:05:59,764 --> 00:06:00,839
What?
139
00:06:00,924 --> 00:06:02,867
Yeah. Oh, no,
it's okay, it's okay.
140
00:06:02,952 --> 00:06:06,000
Oh, Frank and I have known
this was coming for a long time.
141
00:06:06,147 --> 00:06:10,414
But last Thursday Frank sneezed
too loud and I just had it.
142
00:06:12,054 --> 00:06:13,672
Oh, Alice, I'm sorry.
143
00:06:13,757 --> 00:06:15,141
Oh, d... no, don't be.
144
00:06:15,226 --> 00:06:17,773
I am rediscovering
who I am.
145
00:06:17,897 --> 00:06:19,687
I mean, who knows,
I might be a vegan.
146
00:06:19,772 --> 00:06:23,031
I might be a Democrat
or I might be a lesbian.
147
00:06:24,121 --> 00:06:25,359
Wow.
148
00:06:25,444 --> 00:06:28,843
Well, it's nice to have options.
149
00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:31,992
Yeah. I do have one favor
to ask you, though.
150
00:06:32,077 --> 00:06:33,995
- Yeah, sure, anything, anything.
- Well, uh,
151
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,625
Andi's gonna need
to hear the news.
152
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:37,226
- That'll be tough.
- Yeah.
153
00:06:37,311 --> 00:06:39,257
Which is why I'd like
her to hear it from you.
154
00:06:41,499 --> 00:06:43,852
That puts me in the middle.
155
00:06:44,601 --> 00:06:46,059
You're gonna do
a super job.
156
00:06:46,143 --> 00:06:48,031
And I'll take the kids
to the zoo tomorrow.
157
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,324
And when I get back,
all the messiness will be over.
158
00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:53,656
It's just like surgery.
159
00:07:09,608 --> 00:07:10,937
You scared me.
160
00:07:11,022 --> 00:07:12,693
Oh, good, good.
Your mind is prepared
161
00:07:12,778 --> 00:07:14,435
for something horrible again.
162
00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:16,703
Oh, did the talk with my mom
not go well?
163
00:07:16,788 --> 00:07:19,750
Well... there were some
complications during surgery.
164
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,031
She told me
some tough news.
165
00:07:22,671 --> 00:07:25,141
Oh, my God. Did something happen
to the Yorkies?
166
00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:26,969
Kind of.
167
00:07:27,053 --> 00:07:29,055
Their parents split up.
168
00:07:30,828 --> 00:07:32,695
Listen, I am here for you.
169
00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:34,804
Whatever you need,
you just tell me.
170
00:07:35,042 --> 00:07:37,882
'Cause you know
I won't know on my own.
171
00:07:41,343 --> 00:07:42,953
God, my poor dad.
172
00:07:43,038 --> 00:07:45,304
Yeah, well, the good news is,
I called to check on him.
173
00:07:45,429 --> 00:07:46,711
He's doing great.
174
00:07:46,862 --> 00:07:48,467
He's gonna open
a topless car wash
175
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,728
called Put 'Em on the Glass.
176
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:54,578
Yeah, he's been talking
about that for years.
177
00:07:54,819 --> 00:07:56,617
Oh. Well,
that makes sense.
178
00:07:56,702 --> 00:07:59,351
Yeah, you don't come up with
a clever name like that overnight.
179
00:08:00,874 --> 00:08:02,734
I just... I never
saw this coming,
180
00:08:02,826 --> 00:08:04,266
but I... although
I don't know why I would.
181
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:05,938
She never tells me anything.
She didn't even tell me this.
182
00:08:06,022 --> 00:08:08,279
She made you do it.
And I don't appreciate
183
00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:09,672
her making you
tell me things.
184
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,437
You should go tell her that.
185
00:08:13,234 --> 00:08:16,629
What? That puts me
in the middle again.
186
00:08:17,928 --> 00:08:21,179
Adam, 20 years ago,
you made a promise to me...
187
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:23,515
In a church. I remember.
188
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:27,025
I should've read
the fine print.
189
00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:31,572
No You know what
would solve everything?
190
00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:33,023
Is if your mom wasn't here.
191
00:08:33,234 --> 00:08:35,718
Oh, I can't kick her out now.
She'll think I'm upset with her.
192
00:08:35,803 --> 00:08:36,804
You are
upset with her.
193
00:08:36,889 --> 00:08:39,014
That's why she can't know.
That's how we do it.
194
00:08:40,382 --> 00:08:42,189
That's ridiculous.
195
00:08:42,312 --> 00:08:44,361
But what I'm hearing is,
196
00:08:44,446 --> 00:08:47,205
if you two can talk things out,
she can go?
197
00:08:47,555 --> 00:08:48,947
Uh... I like it.
198
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:52,558
I like it. Now that there's
a little cheese in the trap,
199
00:08:52,643 --> 00:08:53,734
I'm interested.
200
00:08:55,759 --> 00:08:57,212
Ah. Good morning.
201
00:08:57,297 --> 00:08:58,737
Hi, Mom.
202
00:08:59,658 --> 00:09:01,986
You told her already?
But I'm still here.
203
00:09:02,071 --> 00:09:03,989
The damn zoo doesn't open
till 10:00.
204
00:09:04,161 --> 00:09:05,416
Oh...
205
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,245
Okay. Okay, okay, okay,
no more of this.
206
00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:09,768
I-I'm done being the middleman.
207
00:09:09,852 --> 00:09:13,935
Okay? You two need to talk to
each other like grown women,
208
00:09:14,151 --> 00:09:16,349
not like a ten-year-old
and her mother.
209
00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:19,353
How are we supposed to
magically be able to do that?
210
00:09:19,887 --> 00:09:22,124
I don't know.
With alcohol.
211
00:09:22,224 --> 00:09:23,419
Go... go out,
212
00:09:23,504 --> 00:09:25,956
get drunk, say a bunch
of things you can't take back.
213
00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:28,464
Act like a family,
for God's sakes.
214
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,928
So, Frank and Alice are
calling it a day, huh?
215
00:09:35,013 --> 00:09:38,321
Phew. Talk about dropping out
of the marathon at mile 25.
216
00:09:40,005 --> 00:09:41,857
Well, it's sad
they're breaking up,
217
00:09:42,005 --> 00:09:44,286
but Frank's got a winner
with that car wash.
218
00:09:44,482 --> 00:09:46,919
I mean, it's hard to compete
with soapy hooters.
219
00:09:47,247 --> 00:09:48,489
Well, now I'm stuck in a house
220
00:09:48,574 --> 00:09:50,647
with two women
who can't communicate.
221
00:09:50,732 --> 00:09:52,880
So I'm sending them to a bar
to see if some cocktails
222
00:09:52,974 --> 00:09:54,677
will help them
open up to each other.
223
00:09:54,957 --> 00:09:57,162
I don't need drinks
to tell the truth.
224
00:09:57,247 --> 00:09:59,256
I'll be honest
anywhere, anytime.
225
00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:01,848
You look tired.
See?
226
00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:06,542
If I'm honest, you could be
a little less honest.
227
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:08,989
Without Frank around,
228
00:10:09,271 --> 00:10:13,099
I'll bet Alice is gonna try to
take over as favorite grandma.
229
00:10:13,505 --> 00:10:16,910
I got cocky because
I was local, but now
230
00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:20,099
I got to step up
my game.
231
00:10:21,294 --> 00:10:22,372
I'm hungry.
232
00:10:22,457 --> 00:10:23,755
I'm on it.
233
00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:27,150
How about ice cream
for dinner, hmm?
234
00:10:27,423 --> 00:10:31,570
Grandma Alice makes you eat
vegetables. What a dud.
235
00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:36,441
Hey, Alice.
236
00:10:36,526 --> 00:10:37,531
Hey, what's happening up here?
237
00:10:37,615 --> 00:10:38,932
Looks like you had
some work done.
238
00:10:39,016 --> 00:10:40,668
Oh, thanks, Don.
239
00:10:40,753 --> 00:10:42,891
No, since, since I'm back
in the dating game,
240
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,199
I watched a video
about how to do a smoky eye.
241
00:10:45,283 --> 00:10:46,940
Been there.
242
00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:49,783
Hey, Alice, you, uh,
you ready for tonight?
243
00:10:49,868 --> 00:10:52,032
Just have a real conversation
with Andi.
244
00:10:52,116 --> 00:10:53,767
Talk about what
you're going through.
245
00:10:53,876 --> 00:10:55,151
Well, it's been emotional...
246
00:10:55,236 --> 00:10:57,087
Not to me, to Andi.
247
00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:58,299
You did it again, there.
248
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,389
Oh, Joe's here.
249
00:11:01,473 --> 00:11:04,608
Let's see if your mother-in-law can
still make the dogs bark.
250
00:11:06,304 --> 00:11:07,351
She's a grandmother.
251
00:11:07,435 --> 00:11:09,223
Why can't she just
bake some cookies?
252
00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:11,686
God, Joe, look at you.
253
00:11:11,822 --> 00:11:14,471
The older you get,
the more distinguished you look.
254
00:11:14,587 --> 00:11:15,794
Oh, that's what
they tell me.
255
00:11:16,498 --> 00:11:17,665
Well, I'm glad I found you,
256
00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:18,819
'cause I need a little help.
257
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,468
- Hmm?
- Mmm. Ugh.
258
00:11:20,783 --> 00:11:22,858
- Zip me up, would you?
- Oh.
259
00:11:24,743 --> 00:11:26,789
What the hell
am I looking at?
260
00:11:28,725 --> 00:11:30,331
What the hell am
I looking at?
261
00:11:30,811 --> 00:11:32,913
I'm zipping it up,
not down, Bev.
262
00:11:32,998 --> 00:11:35,003
You haven't zipped me up
since the '60s.
263
00:11:35,199 --> 00:11:37,334
You tell me to hook it
with a back scratcher.
264
00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:40,159
We're leaving, Joe.
265
00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:42,038
We'll talk about this
when we get home.
266
00:11:42,318 --> 00:11:44,257
I can't help it,
it's these khakis.
267
00:11:44,342 --> 00:11:46,126
Tight in
all the right places.
268
00:11:48,948 --> 00:11:50,567
Okay. I'm ready.
269
00:11:50,652 --> 00:11:51,961
There's my girl.
270
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,702
Okay, you got this, babe,
all right?
271
00:11:53,786 --> 00:11:55,747
You get a little tipsy,
talk things out,
272
00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,445
and then it’s adios, Alice.
273
00:11:57,529 --> 00:12:00,053
Huh? It's gonna be great.
Especially that last part.
274
00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:02,577
Okay, come on, Alice.
Put your game face on.
275
00:12:02,664 --> 00:12:03,755
We are walking.
276
00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:05,155
Hustle. Hustle, hustle, hustle.
277
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,375
Okay. Hustle, hustle.
278
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:09,069
Okay.
All right. Hey, hey.
279
00:12:09,154 --> 00:12:11,303
Just have a real
conversation with her.
280
00:12:11,388 --> 00:12:12,783
Okay, well, don't get your hopes up.
281
00:12:12,867 --> 00:12:15,897
- We don't have those.
- That's the spirit. Off you go.
282
00:12:17,077 --> 00:12:18,204
Dad?
283
00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:20,053
We heard about
Nana and Pop-Pop.
284
00:12:20,158 --> 00:12:21,250
Is everything okay?
285
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,983
Oh. Uh, listen,
286
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,280
I don't want you guys
to worry
287
00:12:24,365 --> 00:12:26,241
because your grandparents
split up, all right?
288
00:12:26,335 --> 00:12:27,578
Yeah, your dad's right.
289
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,398
There's a super volcano
under Yellowstone
290
00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:31,882
that's gonna make this the
least of your problems.
291
00:12:40,225 --> 00:12:41,621
- There they are.
- Hi.
292
00:12:41,745 --> 00:12:42,662
How'd it go?
293
00:12:42,746 --> 00:12:45,139
Oh.
It was so beautiful.
294
00:12:45,224 --> 00:12:47,617
Oh, I thought
this might work.
295
00:12:47,702 --> 00:12:50,311
Therapy's great,
but liquor's quicker.
296
00:12:51,014 --> 00:12:53,412
I mean, for the first time,
we could just be ourselves.
297
00:12:53,496 --> 00:12:55,066
It's the most open
we've ever been.Yeah.
298
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,453
I think I was so
closed off before
299
00:12:57,538 --> 00:12:59,922
because I had to be
perfect to convince myself
300
00:13:00,007 --> 00:13:01,554
- that I was happy.
- Oh, yeah,
301
00:13:01,639 --> 00:13:02,672
I don't
need the details.
302
00:13:02,757 --> 00:13:04,944
I was just looking for
thumbs up, thumbs down.
303
00:13:05,623 --> 00:13:06,946
Ooh. And guess what.
304
00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:09,359
Our Uber driver asked
my mom for her number.
305
00:13:09,444 --> 00:13:10,624
Ah.
306
00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:12,366
Yeah, but he seemed
like a gentleman, right?
307
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:14,116
- He always used his turn signal.
- Yeah.
308
00:13:14,201 --> 00:13:16,468
Well, good for you.
309
00:13:16,553 --> 00:13:19,039
Ah... and now that things
are resolved between you two,
310
00:13:19,124 --> 00:13:21,092
you can go start
your new life.
311
00:13:21,249 --> 00:13:24,382
And where better to do
that than not here?
312
00:13:24,528 --> 00:13:25,967
She's not going anywhere.
313
00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:28,405
Like, we've just started
to bond.
314
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:30,181
As-as far as I'm concerned,
she could stay here forever.
315
00:13:30,265 --> 00:13:31,945
Oh... Forever?
316
00:13:32,068 --> 00:13:33,217
What...?
317
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:35,476
How can she stay forever
if she's leaving?
318
00:13:35,561 --> 00:13:37,242
That doesn't make sense.
319
00:13:38,653 --> 00:13:40,390
I'm just happy
that my daughter
320
00:13:40,475 --> 00:13:42,311
wants me
around forever.
321
00:13:42,396 --> 00:13:43,579
Aw...
322
00:13:43,664 --> 00:13:45,672
Thanks for making us talk,
Adam.
323
00:13:45,757 --> 00:13:47,205
You know, you did this.
324
00:13:47,365 --> 00:13:49,810
Aw, you don't have
to rub it in.
325
00:13:53,703 --> 00:13:55,330
Listen, we need
to talk about
326
00:13:55,415 --> 00:13:57,732
how long your mom's gonna
be staying with us, because
327
00:13:57,825 --> 00:14:00,250
the answer to that
can't be "forever."
328
00:14:01,729 --> 00:14:03,151
Sure, baby.
329
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:05,174
Why don't you come chat
about it under the covers?
330
00:14:05,258 --> 00:14:08,293
No, no, no-no-no-no,
this is serious.
331
00:14:08,378 --> 00:14:09,703
- Your mom is...
- Blah,
332
00:14:09,796 --> 00:14:11,384
blah, blah, take
your shirt off.
333
00:14:11,469 --> 00:14:13,023
What? No, wait.
Honey, honey.
334
00:14:13,358 --> 00:14:15,449
We have important
things to discuss.
335
00:14:15,534 --> 00:14:17,609
But I'm feeling
so good.
336
00:14:19,273 --> 00:14:21,794
I am not a machine.
337
00:14:22,265 --> 00:14:24,413
Okay, you can't just turn me on.
338
00:14:30,712 --> 00:14:32,888
- Okay, we'll talk tomorrow.
- Ooh!
339
00:14:34,586 --> 00:14:37,505
Forever. That was
the exact word she used.
340
00:14:37,817 --> 00:14:40,945
So, just get Andi
to ask Alice to leave.
341
00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:42,382
I tried that.
342
00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,905
But she bewitched me
with sex.
343
00:14:45,225 --> 00:14:46,350
Wives will do that.
344
00:14:46,648 --> 00:14:48,469
That's why I don't have
a snowmobile.
345
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,578
Or a say in anything.
346
00:14:51,569 --> 00:14:52,648
I don't know what to do.
347
00:14:52,733 --> 00:14:53,876
My wife is happy,
348
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,362
but I'm living with
my mother-in-law.
349
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:58,711
It's crazy. I got lonely
Uber drivers circling my house
350
00:14:58,795 --> 00:15:00,336
like it's the airport.
351
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,094
So, the question is,
whose happiness
352
00:15:04,179 --> 00:15:07,539
is more important,
yours or Andi's?
353
00:15:08,351 --> 00:15:11,304
Why did you ask it like that?
Are you wearing a wire?
354
00:15:12,969 --> 00:15:14,781
I got the solution to this.
355
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,437
Does it involve
a super volcano?
356
00:15:18,381 --> 00:15:21,398
No.
But now I need a minute.
357
00:15:23,711 --> 00:15:24,823
You know, Mom,
358
00:15:24,908 --> 00:15:26,601
this week has
been so fun.
359
00:15:26,705 --> 00:15:28,392
You know, we're so comfortable
around each other now,
360
00:15:28,476 --> 00:15:29,859
we can shop for bras.
361
00:15:29,944 --> 00:15:30,963
I mean, before this,
I don't even think
362
00:15:31,047 --> 00:15:32,789
I could say
"bra" to you.
363
00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:35,578
Hey, do you
like this one?
364
00:15:35,831 --> 00:15:39,229
Uh... that's too complicated
to unhook.
365
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,937
I'm gonna be dating men in
the early stages of arthritis,
366
00:15:42,022 --> 00:15:43,812
I want to make it
easy on them.
367
00:15:49,676 --> 00:15:53,318
Oh. Wow, uh, maybe you should
pick your own bra.
368
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,203
This is what friends do.
369
00:15:57,288 --> 00:15:58,351
Oh, and I have to tell you,
370
00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:01,717
I am loving this sexual freedom.
371
00:16:03,154 --> 00:16:05,085
See, now, your dad,
he wanted his wife
372
00:16:05,170 --> 00:16:06,490
to be this bra.
373
00:16:06,575 --> 00:16:08,475
But I wanted to be this bra.
374
00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,976
I mean, you know, come on,
let's try some stuff, Frank.
375
00:16:12,060 --> 00:16:14,178
Pull my hair
once in a while.
376
00:16:17,068 --> 00:16:18,181
Okay.
377
00:16:18,265 --> 00:16:19,514
So, for my wife's happiness,
378
00:16:19,599 --> 00:16:20,821
I am just going
to accept the fact
379
00:16:20,905 --> 00:16:22,866
that my mother-in-law lives
with us.
380
00:16:22,951 --> 00:16:25,232
I'm gonna be a better person.
I'm gonna be that guy.
381
00:16:25,826 --> 00:16:27,982
That guy sleeps in the garage.
382
00:16:28,774 --> 00:16:30,600
Eventually with the car running.
383
00:16:31,856 --> 00:16:34,319
Don does paint
a bleak picture.
384
00:16:34,873 --> 00:16:36,156
But...
385
00:16:36,404 --> 00:16:39,920
But nothing, I just thought he
did a nice job describing it.
386
00:16:43,519 --> 00:16:45,315
My mom's got to go.
387
00:16:46,189 --> 00:16:48,190
Oh, thank God. I was trying
to be a better person,
388
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:49,979
but it just doesn't
feel like me.
389
00:16:50,369 --> 00:16:51,820
What changed your mind?
390
00:16:51,905 --> 00:16:54,652
Well, like, I'm glad that my mom
and I are more open.
391
00:16:54,737 --> 00:16:57,546
But now it’s too open.
392
00:16:58,305 --> 00:17:01,866
I-I-If she leaves, maybe we
can just slow this whole thing down.
393
00:17:01,951 --> 00:17:03,648
"If she leaves." I like
where you're going with this.
394
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:04,823
What do you
need from me?
395
00:17:04,908 --> 00:17:06,077
Help me
get rid of her.
396
00:17:06,162 --> 00:17:08,516
But without making her feel
like we're getting rid of her.
397
00:17:08,601 --> 00:17:09,668
Okay. All right.
398
00:17:09,752 --> 00:17:11,670
Using underhanded means
to get what I want.
399
00:17:11,754 --> 00:17:13,312
Now this feels like me.
400
00:17:17,155 --> 00:17:20,382
Okay, Mom. Per your request,
I made you a flirtini.
401
00:17:20,481 --> 00:17:25,448
So, here's to your
sexual awakening, I guess.
402
00:17:25,956 --> 00:17:28,823
Thanks, honey.
That's very woke of you.
403
00:17:28,908 --> 00:17:29,979
I've been on the Internet.
404
00:17:34,213 --> 00:17:35,257
Hey.
405
00:17:35,342 --> 00:17:36,838
Thanks for coming.
You ready to do this?
406
00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:39,501
It'll be easy. I'll let
the khakis do the talking.
407
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,414
Oh.
Hi, Joe.
408
00:17:43,499 --> 00:17:45,347
Ah, there she is.
409
00:17:45,488 --> 00:17:48,344
The soft spring night
can only be enhanced
410
00:17:48,429 --> 00:17:50,413
by a beautiful woman.
411
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,130
Alice, let's dance.
412
00:17:53,449 --> 00:17:56,647
Since that night I zipped you,
I've been dying to dip you.
413
00:17:57,082 --> 00:17:59,788
But, Joe,
you're married to Bev.
414
00:17:59,873 --> 00:18:01,515
And you used to be
married to Frank.
415
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,163
We're halfway there.
416
00:18:07,030 --> 00:18:09,718
I knew when I saw
your Old Spice on the counter,
417
00:18:09,803 --> 00:18:11,311
you were up to no good.
418
00:18:12,118 --> 00:18:15,402
And you...
you get your hands off my man.
419
00:18:15,487 --> 00:18:16,835
It's not what
it looks like.
420
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,280
It is if it looks like
love.
421
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:22,741
Joe, come on, stop
it. No, Bev, Bev,
422
00:18:22,889 --> 00:18:24,889
I didn't mean for any
of this to happen.
423
00:18:25,143 --> 00:18:29,063
I-I think it's my new bra.
It unleashed something.
424
00:18:29,366 --> 00:18:32,241
Touch my husband again
and I'll unleash something.
425
00:18:32,326 --> 00:18:33,967
- Ma, easy, Ma, easy.
- Get off me.
426
00:18:34,052 --> 00:18:35,444
Easy.
427
00:18:36,552 --> 00:18:38,515
Mom, may-maybe you should
head upstairs.
428
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,932
I don't know how long
he can hold her.
429
00:18:40,016 --> 00:18:42,077
Honey, I don't know
if upstairs is far enough.
430
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,341
Where else
could she go?
431
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,647
I don't know.
No one in this family's safe
432
00:18:45,732 --> 00:18:48,147
with her kind of
raw sexuality around.
433
00:18:48,263 --> 00:18:50,187
A cougar needs to hunt.
434
00:18:52,071 --> 00:18:53,680
You know, maybe it is
time for me to leave
435
00:18:53,764 --> 00:18:54,898
and start my new life.
436
00:18:54,983 --> 00:18:57,147
W... O-Only
if it's right for you.
437
00:18:57,271 --> 00:19:00,124
Yeah, well, maybe I could
take a trip to Italy.
438
00:19:00,255 --> 00:19:03,546
The land of olive oil
and hairy men.
439
00:19:03,839 --> 00:19:05,882
Tell your story walking.
440
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,936
And if I see you
around here again,
441
00:19:09,021 --> 00:19:10,374
I'll give you a smoky eye
442
00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:12,244
without the makeup.
443
00:19:14,311 --> 00:19:15,600
Mom.
444
00:19:15,711 --> 00:19:17,977
You were terrifying.
Great performance.
445
00:19:18,062 --> 00:19:19,371
What are you talking about?
446
00:19:19,456 --> 00:19:22,375
What? Wh-Why don't you
know what I'm talking about?
447
00:19:23,335 --> 00:19:25,603
Bev, there you are. I've been
looking all over for you.
448
00:19:25,688 --> 00:19:27,063
I didn't get to tell her
about the plan.
449
00:19:27,147 --> 00:19:28,757
- Ugh, no...
- What plan?
450
00:19:28,842 --> 00:19:31,326
Dad was just faking it
to get Alice to leave.
451
00:19:32,061 --> 00:19:34,085
Ah? Oh!
452
00:19:34,288 --> 00:19:36,524
I'm sorry, Joe.
453
00:19:36,772 --> 00:19:39,639
I wish I'd known.
I wouldn't have held back.
454
00:19:40,225 --> 00:19:41,671
That was holding back?
455
00:19:41,756 --> 00:19:44,319
Yeah. My mom
can beat up your mom.
456
00:19:48,407 --> 00:19:50,514
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Alice.
457
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:52,186
Close the door.
458
00:19:52,865 --> 00:19:54,264
Have fun in Italy.
459
00:19:54,349 --> 00:19:55,960
Close the door!
460
00:19:59,021 --> 00:20:01,548
Honey. Do you understand
what just happened?
461
00:20:01,648 --> 00:20:04,256
Yeah. You closed the door
so your mom can't get back in.
462
00:20:04,341 --> 00:20:05,546
No.
463
00:20:05,695 --> 00:20:06,818
No.
464
00:20:06,903 --> 00:20:08,777
Our whole relationship
has changed.
465
00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:11,069
I can finally be myself
around her.
466
00:20:11,154 --> 00:20:13,811
Of course, I'll have to get used to
her being herself around me,
467
00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:15,952
but it’s a big step forward.
468
00:20:16,976 --> 00:20:18,297
And it's all thanks to you.
469
00:20:18,382 --> 00:20:19,850
Aw, well,
I'm happy for you.
470
00:20:19,935 --> 00:20:21,026
Hmm.
471
00:20:21,111 --> 00:20:22,580
Hey. You know how
we should celebrate?
472
00:20:22,664 --> 00:20:25,632
Do, do, do that thing
where you unbutton my buttons.
473
00:20:27,984 --> 00:20:29,132
Hmm.
474
00:20:29,907 --> 00:20:32,319
Honey...
it's been a crazy week.
475
00:20:32,404 --> 00:20:34,280
Let's just watch TV.
476
00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:40,507
I miss your mom.
34865
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.