All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S02E25.The.Magnetic.Personality.and.Who.Needs.It.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

(mysterious instrumental music)

- Uncle Martin, how
would you like some nice,

flaming enchiladas for lunch?

I turned the flame too
high and burned them all

to a crisp.

- That's the nice thing
about your cooking, Tim.

It discourages overeating.

- Hey.

What's the king
size horseshoe for?

- The cosmic polarizer of my
spaceship has lost magnetism

through lack of use.

I'll have to recharge it.

Look, Tim, would
you come over here

and throw that switch for me?

- Aye aye, sir.

Ready whenever you
are, Ca -- (sneezes)

(electricity crackling)

- Quick, turn it off!

You're shooting the
magnetism into me.

Get these things off of me!

(beeping)

(mysterious instrumental music)

(beeping)

(cheerful instrumental music)

(Tim grunting)

- This is ridiculous.

I have never heard of
people getting magnetized.

- But Tim, I'm not people.

I am a Martian.

- Well, I'm sorry.

I am just a humble earth man

and I don't go around
wearing a stillson wrench

for a fraternity pin.

(Tim grunting)

(Tim laughing)

- No, no, no, put
that thing down.

Don't come near me, Tim.

Don't come near me.

- Don't worry,
I'll get you loose.

Oh no.

I never knew until now that a
kitchen could be so dangerous.

That's funny.

You just went by the
cigarette lighter

and the ash tray.

Both of them are
made out of metal.

- Hmm, hmm.

Tim, you're right.

Apparently my little
nightmare in the kitchen

drained the excess
magnetism out of my system.

(door knocking)

- I'm so excited!

It took me a while
to make up my mind,

but once I did, I knew it
was the right thing to do.

Don't you agree?

- Well, if you decided
to lower our rent,

we certainly do.

- On the other hand, if
you're going to raise it,

we certainly don't.

- I do wish you two would
stick to the subject.

Tim, remember the article
you wrote last month

about Andy Fuller?

- Andy Fuller?

Wasn't he the pickpocket
that's up for parole?

- Remember you said how
much he'd need a job

when he got out?

- Hey, do you know somebody
who's going to give him one?

- I certainly do,
and you do too.

- I do?
- Yes.

- Who?
- Me!

- You?

- Come on in, Andy.

- Hi, Mr. O'Hara.

Bet you didn't expect
to see me here.

Last time we met was up
at the old alma mater.

- Welcome to the other side
of the iron curtain, Andy.

I'd like you to meet my uncle,

Martin O'Hara, Andy Fuller.

- Glad to know you, Andy.

- I sure owe that nephew
of yours an awful lot.

I don't know how
I'll ever repay him.

- I think it'll be
thanks enough for him

if you don't return
to the old alma mater

for the postgraduate course.

- Sure hope I make it this time.

Well, I guess I better
get back to the job

before the boss finds
out I'm gold bricking.

- I don't think she'll mind.

- So long.

- Good luck, Andy.

Mrs. Brown, look, I know
that I wrote the article

that said someone ought
to give him a job,

but I can't vouch for him.

Look, he has been in the
clink at least a dozen times.

- Well, I'm sure Andy
knows just as well as we do

that 13 is an unlucky number.

You know what?

I talked to the girls in the
Westwood Women's Lord Byron

and Hem Stitching Society and
they're gonna find odd jobs

for him, too.

- Lorelei, you're a perfect
refutation of the old saying

that beauty is only skin deep.

- What a lovely compliment.

With my hair like this,
well, I must look a mess.

What in the world
made them do that?

- Perhaps they developed
mental fatigue and let go.

- I should wonder.

With all the smog
and sonic booms,

I'm surprised everything
doesn't just fall apart.

Thank you.

- I thought you said you
got all the magnetism

out of your system.

Hey, I have a great idea.

Look, why don't you
just run downstairs,

hitch yourself up
to the old machine,

and shoot the juice right
back into the old magnet.

- An excellent suggestion.

Except that when a
certain party, who
shall remain nameless,

threw a certain switch
when he sneezed,

he reduced a certain machine
into electronic hash.

(silly instrumental music)

I've got it.

I mean, I've got a
way not to have it.

- Oh, good, because I knew
that between the two of us,

you'd come up with an answer.

But don't you tell me, no.

You surprise me.

(door knocking)

- If it isn't the literary
luminary and his next of kin.

I'd like a word with you two.

- Detective Brennan, we'd
like to listen to your words

of wisdom all day,

but we're rather in a hurry.

- Yes, and besides, we
don't want to keep you

from your duty.

As I understand it, down
at the playground today,

there is a very hot
floating checker game.

- (chuckling) Tim, I happen to
be rather fond of Mrs. Brown

and I don't appreciate
what you've done.

- Done?

- Writing that sob sister stuff

and talking her into hiring
a crook like that Fuller.

- Detective Brennan,
I thought the purpose

of the penal system was
to give a man a chance

to rehabilitate himself.

- Course it is, but
this is different.

- In what way?

- In a million ways, like, uh --

Because it's
different, that's why.

- Have you ever noticed how
some people try to make up

for weak logic with
strong lung power?

- Now see here, O'Hara,
I know more about people

like Fuller than you do.

- Possibly, but bear in
mind that Marcus Aurelius

once said, judgments
made in haste

are oft repented at leisure.

- I know.

I also know that while
Marcus was saying it,

some crook stole his toga.

- That was just
an accident, Andy.

Could happen to anybody.

- Yeah.

But you notice it
happened to me.

I just can't do anything.

I can see it starting.

- What is?

- The same old merry-go-round.

Every time I get out of stirrer,

I try to find a
job I can handle.

Mess it up, get fired,
first thing you know,

I'm back at the old trade.

The one thing I'm
really good at.

- Andy.

Sometimes the fear of
failure brings about

the very thing one is afraid of.

Believe me, anybody with
your digital dexterity

can learn to do almost anything.

- As a matter of
fact, I'll bet you

that there are lots
of brain surgeons

who would be honored to
have those educated fingers.

You just stay in there
and keep punching, OK?

(machine hissing)

Well, you're almost rid of it.

Although I must admit, I still
don't know what you're doing.

- It's rather basic, really.

So basic, in fact, I
almost forgot about it.

This nozzle is spraying
me with space lines.

- Space lines?

- Magnetism is created
by lines of force.

By inducing lines of
space into my system,

I am able to repulse the
lines of force out of me.

- Well you can't get rid
of it fast enough for me.

I don't mind telling you,
I've been so worried,

I'm losing my baby fat.

Four, three, two, one, bingo.

- No offense, doctor, but
I'd like to check the reading

for myself.

- Well.

Just for your lack
of confidence,

when I send you my bill,
I'm going to add 10%

for bruising my ego.

- Can I help you with anything?

- Oh, no thanks, Andy.

I'm just looking for a place
to get rid of this can.

- Let me have it,
I'll get rid of it.

- No, no, don't bother.

- There's no bother at all.

- Mrs. Brown.

I'll be back in a minute.

- He spilled my magnetism
all over his hands.

- That's just great.

That's all Andy's sticky
little fingers need.

- No thank you,
Andy, I can manage.

If you'll just put my
coat over my shoulders.

- Oh, sure.
- Thank you.

- Nice pin.

- Oh, thank you.

Detective Brennan bought
it for me one night

when we were down
on Olvera Street.

- Do you see what I see?

Look, why didn't he give
the pin back to her?

- How would explain
how he got it?

Let's face it, Tim.

With Andy's past
record, he realizes

he'd be immediately
suspected of having taken it.

- Well, that is exactly what
Brennan is going to think

as soon as Mrs. Brown tells
him that her pin is missing.

- That's why the
first thing we must do

is make sure that pin is
returned to Mrs. Brown.

- Well, the second
thing we have to do

is go down and get that
space line doohickey of yours

and get rid of his magnetism.

- That, Tim, I'm
afraid is impossible.

You see, magnetism can be
introduced into your primitive,

earthly anatomy, but I'm
afraid you can't take back

the introduction.

(door knocking)

- Hi, Tim.

Gee, I sure let you fellas down.

These hands may not be
good for anything else,

but when it comes
to hooking things

that belong to other people,
they practically work

by themselves.

- You mean you really took
it without intending to,

didn't you, Andy?

- I guess so.

I didn't even know I was
swiping it, so help me.

Maybe these fingers are
trying to tell me something.

- Yes they are.

But even a casual
knowledge of anatomy

indicates that there
are very few brain cells

in even the most
exceptional knuckle.

- Thanks for letting me
off the hook so easy.

I don't know how to
explain it to Mrs. Brown.

Especially with that
detective friend

of hers hanging around.

- We were just going downstairs
to talk to Mrs. Brown

about the water heater.

So why can't we return
the pin for you?

And don't worry, I assure
you your name won't come up

in the conversation.

- Thanks.

- OK, Fuller.

You might as well come clean.

You know you stole
that pin and so do we.

- Now, Bill, we don't
know anything of the sort.

You know how I misplace things.

Why, just the other day, I
put my hat in the roasting pan

and a leg of lamb in the closet.

- Now, Lorelei, if you'll
just let me handle this.

Fuller, if you don't
want to talk here,

we've got a nice, cozy
room down at the station.

- You overshot the target.

They'll never find it.

- Yes he will.

At least Detective Brennan will.

- OK, take your time.

I can wait.

(yelps)

- Oh, it's my pin.

I told you I misplaced it.

Bill, I think you
owe Andy an apology.

- Well, Fuller, I
guess I'm sorry.

Now, Lorelei, that the
case of the missing pin

has been solved --

- I wish Andy would get out
of there while he's ahead.

- [Andy] I better
get back to work.

- Holy Toledo.

He's pulling Brennan's wallet
right out of his pocket.

- [Lorelei] I'll put
some on right away.

Oh, and I've got some
delicious green spinach pie

to go with the coffee.

- [Bill] Green spinach pie?

- [Lorelei] Don't worry
about the calories.

- That was quite a tug of war.

I hope we have some liniment
in the medicine chest.

- You know, I feel
like a real sneak,

watching every move
that Andy makes.

- No need to feel guilty, Tim.

After all, we know
Andy is innocent

of committing any crimes.

We're simply protecting
him from himself.

- Oh, well I hope
somebody up there

is doing the same for us.

- What amazes me
is the scientific
breakthrough we've made.

Aside from Mrs. Brown's pin,
what else did Andy attract?

A wallet, leather.

What does that suggest to you?

- Yeah.

I'd say he's doing
what comes naturally.

- In a sense.

His subconscious mind,
conditioned by years of habit,

is causing magnetic impulses
to attract other substances

than metal.

- Oh, well, how come it
doesn't happen all the time?

Why don't things
always float to him?

- His magnetism is intermittent,

as it went through
my system first.

- How much longer is
that going to last?

- According to my calculations,

I'm happy to report a
little more than one hour.

- Oh, well, I --

I'm sorry to report
that my watch is gone.

- Tim, remember that he
didn't mean to take it.

- The important
thing is he's got it.

At least it's important to me.

That was inscribed.

To the best reporter
at the LA Sun.

- Who gave it to you?

- I gave it to myself.

I got tired of waiting for
somebody else to give it to me.

- I know, I know.

I'm getting more paint on the
ground than on the cabinet.

The instructions say a
child of six could use it.

- Perhaps they were referring
to Leonardo da Vinci,

when he was six.

- Andy, look, I don't suppose
you happen to have seen

my wristwatch around anywhere?

- I saw it, I got it.

I was gonna put it
back in your apartment

after I got finished, honest.

I don't even
remember swiping it.

Habit, I suppose.

- Well, as long as
Tim has it back.

We both realize habits
are difficult to break,

don't we Tim?

- Hmm?

Oh, yes, yes.

As a matter of fact,
I remember once --

- Maybe I just can't
break this one.

Maybe I just ought
to give up trying.

- Well now, hold it, Andy.

You can't give up
trying to go straight.

- I'm not doing so good at this.

The other stuff I do too good.

- Nevertheless, Andy, there's
quite a bit riding on you.

How you go, so goes the
rehabilitation program.

And Tim with it.

- Well well, what have we here?

A budding Rembrandt?

Like I've always said,

once a cop hater,
always a cop hater.

- Another 45 minutes
and it'll all be over.

- 45 minutes huh?

Let's synchronize watches
and cross fingers.

I can't stand much more of this.

- Yoo-hoo!

I'm so glad you're home.

This is an invitation.

Time, right now.

Place, downstairs.

Occasion, an informal meeting
of the Westwood Women's

Lord Byron and Hem
Stitching Society.

- Oh, well that's
very flattering.

Of course, it's been
such a long time

since I stitched a hem.

- That goes for me too.

- I know it's short notice,

but the idea came to
me just like that.

We're calling it the
Welcome Back to Society,

Andy Fuller, We
Believe In You Rally.

- That's a very nice
sentiment, Lorelei.

- Thank you.

That's why I'm wearing
all this jewelry.

We want to show Andy

that we have complete
confidence in him.

- To show --

Do you mean that he is
going to the meeting?

- He's already downstairs
getting to know the girls.

Oh, and isn't it nice?

This is Detective
Brennan's afternoon off,

and he's down there too.

Oh my goodness, I wonder what
I said that was so persuasive.

(group chattering)

Hello ladies.

Mrs. Peabody.

Oh, Bill.

Did you notice Mrs. Peabody's
pearls and diamond pendant?

Aren't they enormous?

- My professional opinion is
that wearing all the jewelry

with that Fuller around
is just asking for it.

- Now Bill, we must
think positively.

- For once, Brennan is right.

Having a pickpocket in
here is like throwing a fox

loose in a hen house.

- Tim.

Andy is not just a pickpocket.

He's a magnetized pickpocket.

I'm happy to say that
in exactly two minutes,

he'll be demagnetized.

- Girls, girls,
oh, and gentlemen.

Make yourselves comfortable.

I'd like to say a few words.

As chairman of the
rehabilitation committee --

Now, I know that some
of our members thought

that we should spend
our efforts trying

to get the city to install
birdbaths all over Westwood,

but as I always say,
what's more important?

Restoring a man to society

or a clean bobolink?

(applause)

- Did you see that?

It crawled into his
hand like it had eyes.

- Now I'm gonna hand
out paper and pencils

and we'll all make a list
of possible jobs for Andy.

- Don't just stand
there, do something,

before she starts
yelling for the cops.

- Andy's magnetism is
making it impossible

for me to levitate the
necklace out of his pocket.

There's only one
thing left to do.

- What are you looking for?

- My space line.

- Oh, you mean that thing you
demagnetized yourself with?

- Mmhmm.

- I thought you said you
couldn't demagnetize a human.

- I can't.

However, by throwing
the switch into reverse,

the space liner becomes
electromagnetic.

Throwing a line of force,
creating magnetism.

- Oh, oh, I see.

Wait a minute.

Isn't that just going
to magnetize Andy?

I mean, don't you
think he has enough

of a magnetic
personality already?

- This is for me.

It's the only way I
can pull the necklace

out of Andy's pocket.

- Uncle Martin, suppose
Lieutenant Brennan catches you

with the stuff.

- It's a chance
I'll have to take.

One thing's for certain, Tim.

I can't let an
innocent man suffer

for a crime he never
intended to commit.

- That means you have to
become the sacrificial lamb?

- Perhaps.

But we Martians, Tim,
are quite the antithesis

of your month of March.

We come in like lambs
but go out like lions.

- Now ladies, Detective
Brennan, and Andy, of course,

I'll read the list of
suggested jobs for Andy.

- We're in luck.

Mrs. Peabody's loss hasn't
been discovered as yet.

- Mrs. Murray recommends
that Andy take up some sort

of needlework trade, being
so nimble with his fingers.

Oh, Isabel, that's
a very good thought.

- (yelling) My necklace!

My necklace is gone!

- Ladies, ladies,
please don't panic,

but nobody is to
leave this room.

And I do mean you, Fuller.

- Oh now Bill, I'm sure
that Andy didn't --

- Please, Lorelei,
let me handle this.

Hands up high, Fuller.

- There, now what
did I tell you?

I was sure that Andy
didn't take them.

- Somebody did.

And you O'Haras
were conspicuously
absent for a while,

weren't you?

You did leave this
room and go outside

for a few minutes, didn't you?

- [Tim] Detective Brennan,
I resent your insinuation.

- Do you deny it?

- No, but I resent it.

- Come on, Tim.

After all, Detective Brennan
does have a job to do.

If he wishes to
search us, let him.

- What?

- However, if he
wishes to save time,

I suggest he search himself.

- Search myself?

What kind of fool
do you think I am?

- I don't know, how
many kinds are there?

- Oh, Martin.

You're being just
as silly as Bill is.

He couldn't have Mrs.
Peabody's necklace in his --

pocket?

- Now now now, ladies.

Don't get the wrong idea.

The good detective is no thief.

This was merely a
demonstration of Andy's

to show you how clever
the nimble fingers

of the underworld can be.

Next time, you'll
be on your guard

when wearing valuable jewelry.

Andy, if you'll be good
enough to return these now.

- Oh my, wasn't
that instructive?

Bill, wouldn't it be wonderful
if Andy could go around,

giving groups a
demonstration of how careful

people should be?

- An excellent idea, Lorelei.

Perhaps even the police rookies

under Detective Brennan could
pick up some valuable pointers

of what to watch out for.

- Oh, Martin, that's a
perfect job for Andy.

Oh, Bill.

(group chattering)

- Now, wait a minute!

No, no, no, wait a minute.

Lorelei, help me!

- Is that a private joke,
or can anybody get in on it?

- Of course, Tim.

I was just thinking
about the boys

up at Andy's old alma mater.

Wait till they hear
their old classmate

is going to get paid for
doing what comes naturally.

(clears throat)
Big evening ahead?

- Oh, yes.

Goodnight.

- Isn't that my best
tie you're wearing?

And my cuff links?

And my tie clip?

- Oh, yes.

Well, I guess when I opened
that popcorn can this afternoon,

I magnetized myself.

- I suppose it
could have happened.

- Well.

Hey!

Hey, I am magnetized!

- Goodnight, Tim.

(cheerful instrumental music)