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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,482 >> Announcer: TONIGHT ON "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS" ‐‐ 2 00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:16,617 DAVID SCHWIMMER, CREATOR AND STAR OF "A BLACK LADY SKETCH 3 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,885 SHOW," ROBIN THEDE, AN ALL‐NEW "CLOSER LOOK," FEATURING THE 8G 4 00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:25,626 BAND WITH FRED ARMISEN AND NOW, SETH MEYERS 5 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,160 >> Seth: HOW'S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT? 6 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,263 I SET AN ALARM YESTERDAY MORNING FOR 1:30 IN THE AFTERNOON TO 7 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:33,200 REMIND ME ABOUT A PHONE CALL BUT I ACCIDENTALLY HIT A. M. INSTEAD 8 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,236 OF P. M SO IT WENT OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF 9 00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,639 THE NIGHT AND LONG STORY SHORT, WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE. 10 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,407 I'M JUST KIDDING, BUT OUR LAWYER ISN'T. 11 00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,376 LET'S GET TO THE NEWS. ATTORNEY GENERAL WILLIAM BARR'S 12 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,878 TESTIMONY BEFORE THE HOUSE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE WAS DELAYED 13 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,948 BY ALMOST AN HOUR YESTERDAY AFTER THE PANEL'S CHAIRMAN, 14 00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:50,684 CONGRESSMAN JERRY NADLER, WAS INVOLVED IN A CAR ACCIDENT 15 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,720 TURNS OUT, HE WAS WEARING HIS MASK WRONG 16 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,123 DURING BARR'S APPEARANCE YESTERDAY, CHAIRMAN JERRY NADLER 17 00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:58,425 ACCUSED BARR OF POLITICIZING THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT 18 00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:04,464 SAID BARR, "OBJECTION. DURING ATTORNEY GENERAL 19 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,867 WILLIAM BARR'S APPEARANCE YESTERDAY BEFORE THE HOUSE 20 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,036 JUDICIARY COMMITTEE, BARR SAID HE DOES NOT BELIEVE THAT THERE 21 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,904 IS SYSTEMIC RACISM IN LAW ENFORCEMENT BUT HE DID GO ON TO 22 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,840 SAY, "THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTION 23 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,143 WE'LL CERTAINLY ‐‐ CERTAINLY GIVE IT A TRY. 24 00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,312 WHEN ASKED YESTERDAY ABOUT INFECTIOUS DISEASE EXPERT 25 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,614 DR. ANTHONY FAUCI'S APPROVAL RATING, PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID, 26 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,450 "HE'S GOT THIS HIGH APPROVAL RATING 27 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,752 SO WHY DON'T I HAVE A HIGH APPROVAL RATING WITH RESPECT TO 28 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,156 THE VIRUS? WHICH IS KIND OF LIKE A JETS 29 00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,325 PLAYER SAYING, "I DON'T GET IT THE PATRIOTS ARE WINNING THIS 30 00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,427 GAME I MEAN, HOW COME WE'RE NOT 31 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,129 WINNING THIS GAME? SAME BALL, SAME FIELD. 32 00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:38,131 I DON'T GET IT." THAT'S RIGHT, TRUMP QUESTIONED 33 00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:41,201 WHY DR. FAUCI'S APPROVAL RATING IS SO HIGH WHEN HIS IS SO LOW. 34 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,804 I DON'T KNOW, MAN, MAYBE BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO SAVE OUR LIVES. 35 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:46,873 IF THIS PANDEMIC WAS A GROUP PROJECT, FAUCI WOULD BE THE 36 00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:50,043 STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT MAKING SURE IT GETS DONE AND YOU'D BE THE 37 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:52,546 JOCK WHO KEEPS SAYING, "FLIP A COIN TO SEE WHOSE NAME GOES ON 38 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:55,082 TOP FIRST? IT'S ONLY FAIR." 39 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,484 FORMER VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN SAID YESTERDAY HE WILL CHOOSE 40 00:01:57,484 --> 00:02:00,087 HIS RUNNING MATE NEXT WEEK AND THIS SHOULD MAKE PENCE 41 00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,956 NERVOUS, SO DID TRUMP. ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, 42 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,559 RUSSIAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES ARE USING THREE ENGLISH LANGUAGE 43 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,862 WEBSITES TO SPREAD FALSE INFORMATION ABOUT CORONAVIRUS IN 44 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:12,366 THE U. S. IT'S FACEBOOK, TWITTER AND 45 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,736 WHITEHOUSE.GOV PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID IN AN 46 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,804 INTERVIEW YESTERDAY THAT HE HAS NEVER CONFRONTED RUSSIAN 47 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,974 PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN WITH INTELLIGENCE, INDICATING HIS 48 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:25,145 SECURITY SERVICES PAID THE TALIBAN TO KILL U. S. TROOPS AND 49 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,649 ADDED, QUOTE, "IF IT HAD REACHED MY DESK, I WOULD HAVE DONE 50 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,817 SOMETHING ABOUT IT." WELL, DID YOU EVER THINK MAYBE 51 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,320 THERE'S NOT ENOUGH ROOM ON YOUR DESK 52 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,755 "SIR, WE'D HAVE SOMETHING WE'D LIKE TO GET ON YOUR DESK 53 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,824 IMMEDIATELY. "THERE'S A BIT OF A ‐‐ BIT OF A 54 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:41,528 BEAN JAM RIGHT NOW LITTLE BACK‐UP ON THE BEAN 55 00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:45,165 PRODUCTS, SO MAYBE NEXT WEEK STOP BACK AND I'LL SEE IF I CAN 56 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,969 WORK THROUGH THE BEANS." SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS 57 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,038 INTRODUCED A BILL YESTERDAY TO PROVIDE A REUSABLE MASK FOR 58 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,674 EVERY AMERICAN SAID BERNIE, "AND HERE IT IS, 59 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,076 EVERYBODY GETS IT FOR 15 MINUTES 60 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:59,680 WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH IT, WASH IT, GIVE IT TO THE NEXT PERSON." 61 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,848 BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE DONE A BERNIE AND I THINK THE 62 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:05,585 IMPRESSION MAYBE SUFFERED A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE OF THAT 63 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,988 A BREWERY CALLED THE BALLISTIC BEER COMPANY ANNOUNCED THAT IT 64 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:11,692 HAS RECALLED THEIR TWANG BRAMBLEBERRY SOUR BEER FROM 65 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,794 STORES BECAUSE CANS OF IT WERE EXPLODING AND BECAUSE WHITE 66 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,296 PEOPLE IN BROOKLYN WERE NAMING THEIR BABIES AFTER IT. 67 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,700 "TWANG BRAMBLEBERRY, IT IS NOT YOUR TURN ON THE SWINGS. 68 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,070 TWANG ‐‐ TWANG ‐ [ LAUGHTER ] 69 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,572 TWANG BRAMBLEBERRY SOUR. TWANG BRAMBLEBERRY SOUR, YOU 70 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,774 COME RIGHT HERE. ACCORDING TO A ‐ 71 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,409 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] TBS. 72 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,479 ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, THE DRUGSTORE CHAIN RITE AID ADDED 73 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,881 FACIAL RECOGNITION SYSTEMS TO 200 STORES ACROSS THE COUNTRY 74 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,718 OVER THE LAST EIGHT YEARS. INCIDENTALLY, EIGHT YEARS AGO 75 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,686 WAS THE LAST TIME SOMEONE SPOTTED A RITE AID EMPLOYEE. 76 00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:43,724 "HELLO HELLO, ANYONE? 77 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,460 SOMEONE UNLOCK THE RAZORS? PRODUCERS HAVE ANNOUNCED THAT 78 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,962 "WHEEL OF FORTUNE" WILL RESUME PRODUCTION WITH A REDESIGNED 79 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:52,299 WHEEL THAT ENSURES CONTESTANTS ARE SIX FEET APART 80 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,434 AND ON "THE PRICE IS RIGHT," THEY MADE DREW CAREY'S 81 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:57,938 MICROPHONE EVEN LONGER FINALLY, ACCORDING TO A NEW 82 00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,140 STUDY, PEOPLE OVER SIX FEET TALL ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET THE 83 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:02,642 CORONAVIRUS. "THAT'S A RELIEF," SAID EVERY 84 00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,945 MAN ON TINDER WHO'S BEEN LYING ABOUT HIS HEIGHT 85 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:07,214 AND THAT, YOU GUYS, IS A MONOLOGUE. 86 00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,082 WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 87 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,384 I'LL BE TALKING TO DAVID SCHWIMMER ABOUT HIS NEW 88 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:14,221 COMEDY ON PEACOCK. AND OUR FRIEND, ROBIN THEDE WILL 89 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,422 BE HERE. SHE CREATED "A BLACK LADY SKETCH 90 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,590 SHOW." AND YESTERDAY, GOT THREE EMMY 91 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,391 NOMINATIONS. I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK TO ROBIN. 92 00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:22,095 BUT FIRST, "A CLOSER LOOK. HELLO, EVERYONE. 93 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,630 AND WELCOME BACK TO THE CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS 94 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,733 I'VE NOW BEEN TRAPPED INSIDE WITHOUT AN AUDIENCE SINCE MARCH. 95 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:29,870 AND AS SOME OF YOU HAVE NOTICED, I'VE GONE A LITTLE INSANE. 96 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,038 WEIRD THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING TO MY HAIR 97 00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:33,907 I BEFRIENDED THE WASPS IN MY ATTIC. 98 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:37,511 AND FOR SOME REASON, I EVEN WENT ON A LENGTHY AND IRRELEVANT RANT 99 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:40,914 ABOUT A 20‐ YEAR‐OLD TV SHOW FOR TEENS, "DAWSON'S CREEK." 100 00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:45,919 >> YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, SETH. A CREEK IS JUST A TINY OCEAN 101 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,455 >> Seth: WHO WOULD SAY THAT AND WHY? 102 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,291 OH, RIGHT, I'VE ALSO BECOME FRIENDS WITH A TALKING PAINTING. 103 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,894 AND BY THE WAY I'M AWARE THAT THE SEA CAPTAIN CHARACTER HAS 104 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,429 BEEN DIVISIVE. SOME OF YOU LOVE HIM 105 00:04:56,429 --> 00:05:00,167 SOME OF YOU HATE HIM, DAD. SOME OF YOU ARE JUST CONFUSED AS 106 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,335 TO WHY WE'VE CHOSEN TO INVEST SO MUCH OF OUR TIME AND ENERGY INTO 107 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:04,938 THIS BIT SO WE HAVE DECIDED TO SETTLE 108 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,040 THIS DEBATE ONCE AND FOR ALL WITH A POLL. SHOULD WE KEEP THE 109 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,543 SEA CAPTAIN? YES OR NO. 110 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:13,680 TO VOTE, JUST LOG ON TO WWW.GOOGLE.COM, TYPE IN SEA 111 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,650 CAPTAIN, BUT DON'T CLICK SEARCH. TAKE A SCREEN SHOT, PRINT IT 112 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,586 OUT, WRITE YES OR NO ON IT WITH A SHARPIE, AND THEN MAIL IT TO 113 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:22,422 WHEREVER YOUR BEST GUESS IS FOR THE ADDRESS I'M FILMING THE SHOW 114 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,858 AT WE WILL REVEAL THE POLL RESULTS 115 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,894 AT THE END OF THE SUMMER >> THE ONLY POLE I'M INTERESTED 116 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,730 IN IS A FISHING POLE >> Seth: JOKES LIKE THAT AREN'T 117 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,732 HELPING YOUR CHANCES OF STICKING AROUND, SEA CAPTAIN. 118 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,801 >> OKAY. >> Seth: SPEAKING OF PSYCHOSIS, 119 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,536 PRESIDENT TRUMP AND HIS ALLIES IN THE RIGHT WING MEDIA ARE ONCE 120 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,271 AGAIN AMPLIFYING AN UNHINGED VIRAL VIDEO LYING ABOUT THE 121 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:44,611 CORONAVIRUS. FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR "A CLOSER LOOK." 122 00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:49,449 ♪ >> Seth: AS THE CORONAVIRUS 123 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,084 PANDEMIC HAS SPREAD OUT OF CONTROL, SO HAS MISINFORMATION 124 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,687 ABOUT IT IF YOU HAVE FACEBOOK, OR AN 125 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,656 UNCLE WHO STILL WEARS HIS CLASS RING, YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD SOME 126 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,859 OF IT. I'M PRETTY SURE WE'VE ALL GOTTEN 127 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,361 AT LEAST ONE EMAIL FROM A RELATIVE DURING THIS WHOLE THING 128 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,898 WITH THE SUBJECT LINE LIKE, "FORWARD, FORWARD, FORWARD, 129 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,534 CORONAVIRUS CAN BE CURED BY SWALLOWING A CANDLE AND STICKING 130 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,437 GARLIC UP YOUR BUTT. WHEN WE ALL KNOW THAT SWALLOWING 131 00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:13,173 A CANDLE AND STICKING GARLIC UP YOUR BUTT IS NUMBER THREE ON 132 00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:16,009 GOOP'S TOP TEN WAYS TO RELAX ON A JOB INTERVIEW. 133 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,645 AND IT WON'T SHOCK YOU TO LEARN THAT A LOT OF THE MISINFORMATION 134 00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,147 CAN BE FOUND ON FACEBOOK, THE WEBSITE YOU SIGNED UP FOR JUST 135 00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:24,217 TO SEE IF YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH GOT MARRIED TO THAT SON OF A 136 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,186 BITCH, JEFF. WELL, A, THEY DID. 137 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:29,022 AND B, THEY ALSO WENT CRAZY. A REPORT IN APRIL COLLECTED SOME 138 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:32,292 OF THE MOST POPULAR CORONAVIRUS MYTHS CIRCULATING ON FACEBOOK. 139 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:35,462 SOME EXAMPLES INCLUDE CORONAVIRUS CAN BE DESTROYED BY 140 00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:39,032 CHLORINE DIOXIDE. OREGANO OIL PROVES EFFECTIVE 141 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,968 AGAINST CORONAVIRUS. THERE WAS A POST CLAIMING YOU 142 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,804 CAN HOLD YOUR BREATH FOR TEN SECONDS TO TEST YOURSELF FOR 143 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:46,873 CORONAVIRUS. AND ANOTHER ALLEGING THAT 144 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:51,144 SOMEONE NAMED DR. MARIO PESARESI HAD REVEALED THAT INHALING STEAM 145 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,180 IS A NATURAL REMEDY FOR CORONAVIRUS. 146 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,716 WELL, IF STEAM CURES DISEASE, THAT WOULD FINALLY EXPLAIN WHY 147 00:06:56,716 --> 00:07:00,320 ALL NEW YORKERS ON SUBWAYS LOOK SO HALE AND HEARTY 148 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,956 THE L TRAIN IS MORE RESTORATIVE THAN AN ICELANDIC SPA. 149 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,659 SECOND, I DON'T KNOW WHO DR. MARIO PESARESI IS, BUT HE 150 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,961 SOUNDS LIKE A DOCTOR PAULIE WALNUTS WOULD BE FRIENDS 151 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,063 WITH ON "THE SOPRANOS. "WHAT'S THAT SMELL?" 152 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,133 "OH, THAT'S ME, TON. DR. PESARESI TOLD ME IF I PUT 153 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,502 PROVOLONE IN MY PANTS, IT WOULD CURE MY YOU‐ KNOW‐WHAT." 154 00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:18,805 "I DON'T KNOW WHAT." "I GOT A GENITAL DISCHARGE." 155 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:22,075 "OH, WE'RE EATING HERE!" BY THE WAY, IF YOU'RE OFFENDED, 156 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:25,011 YOU SHOULD KNOW THE WRITER WHO WROTE THAT IS ITALIAN‐AMERICAN 157 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:28,748 >> OH, ITALY, THE NEW JERSEY OF EUROPE 158 00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,483 >> Seth: SO IS THE WRITER WHO WROTE THAT 159 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,552 MUAHH. NOW, YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD SOME 160 00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,955 OF THE MORE INFAMOUS AND LUDICROUS CONSPIRACY THEORIES 161 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:38,024 LIKE THE IDEA THAT 5G MOBILE TOWERS ARE SPREADING CORONAVIRUS 162 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,327 OR THAT IT WAS CREATED BY BILL GATES AS A WAY TO IMPLANT 163 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:43,396 CHIPS INTO PEOPLE THROUGH VACCINES 164 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:46,266 UNFORTUNATELY, THESE IDEAS AREN'T JUST CONFINED TO DARK 165 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,535 CORNERS OF THE INTERNET. THEY OFTEN MAKE THEIR WAY INTO 166 00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:51,705 THE REAL WORLD AS WE SAW IN APRIL WHEN RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY 167 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:55,508 THEORIST ALEX JONES SHOWED UP TO AN ANTI‐LOCKDOWN PROTEST IN 168 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:58,044 TEXAS. YOU REMEMBER ALEX JONES, THE GUY 169 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:02,615 WHO ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE HE'S TRYING TO HULK OUT BUT CAN'T 170 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:06,453 I THINK BECAUSE INSTEAD OF GAMMA RAYS HE WAS HIT BY HAMA RAYS 171 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:10,690 >> I LIKE IT >> Seth: JONES LED THE CROWD IN CHANTS OF "ARREST BILL GATES." 172 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,527 >> ARREST BILL GATES ARREST BILL GATES. 173 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:17,497 ARREST BILL GATES. >> Seth: THE ONLY POLICE WHO 174 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,033 SHOULD ARREST BILL GATES ARE THE FASHION POLICE 175 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,768 "BILL, WHY CAN'T YOU FIND A TIE THAT GOES DOWN TO YOUR WAIST 176 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:24,704 YOU LOOK LIKE THE ASSISTANT MANAGER AT A GAME STOP 177 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:27,674 YOU AND TRUMP NEED TO SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE 178 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,510 YOU'RE AN I. T. BILLIONAIRE STOP DRESSING LIKE AN I. T. GUY." 179 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,912 AND THEN THERE ARE THE VIRAL VIDEOS, WHICH MIGHT SEEM AT 180 00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,881 FIRST GLANCE TO COME FROM REPUTABLE MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, 181 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:38,151 REPEATING SOME OF THE WILDEST DEBUNKED CONSPIRACY THEORIES 182 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:41,087 ABOUT THE ORIGINS OR EFFECTS OF COVID‐19 183 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:45,592 LIKE THAT INFAMOUS "PLANDEMIC" VIDEO, FEATURING SYOSSET 184 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:49,396 STEVIE NICKS, A PERSON WHO CLAIMS, AMONG OTHER THINGS, THAT 185 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:53,166 MASKS CAN SOMEHOW "ACTIVATE" CORONAVIRUS, THAT BEACHES 186 00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,768 SHOULDN'T BE CLOSED BECAUSE THEY HAVE RESTORATIVE PROPERTIES THAT 187 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,503 CURE DISEASES, AND THAT DR. ANTHONY FAUCI, THE NATION'S 188 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,805 TOP EXPERT ON INFECTIOUS DISEASES, WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR 189 00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:02,409 THE CREATION OF THE CORONAVIRUS WHICH IS RIDICULOUS FOR MANY 190 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,277 REASONS. I MEAN, IF THE GUY COULD CREATE 191 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:07,347 A HIGHLY INFECTIOUS VIRUS IN A LAB AS PART OF A SECRET PLOT TO 192 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,849 SELL A MONEY‐MAKING VACCINE, DON'T YOU THINK HE COULD ALSO 193 00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:13,019 LEARN HOW TO THROW A BASEBALL? AND THEN THERE WERE THOSE TWO 194 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:15,855 URGENT CARE DOCTORS FROM BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA, WHO 195 00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:17,924 FALSELY CLAIMED IN A VIRAL YOUTUBE VIDEO THAT THE VIRUS 196 00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:20,460 JUST WASN'T AS DEADLY AS MOST OTHER EXPERTS BELIEVED 197 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:24,097 THEY BASED THAT CLAIM ON SOME EXTREMELY FAULTY DATA, WHICH 198 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:27,600 THEY ARRIVED AT THROUGH SOME TRULY TERRIBLE MATH. 199 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,869 BASICALLY, THEY CLAIMED THAT A LOT MORE PEOPLE IN CALIFORNIA 200 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:32,272 HAD BEEN INFECTED WITH THE CORONAVIRUS, WHICH WOULD MAKE 201 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:37,510 THE PERCENTAGE OF CASES THAT RESULT IN DEATH A LOT SMALLER. 202 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,379 AND THEY ARRIVED AT THAT CONCLUSION, IN PART, BY TAKING 203 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,981 THE RATE OF POSITIVE TESTS AT THE CLINICS THEY OWN AND JUST 204 00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:45,819 EXTRAPOLATING THAT RATE TO THE ENTIRE CALIFORNIA POPULATION, 205 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,887 WHICH MAKES NO SENSE THE PEOPLE WHO WALK INTO AN 206 00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:50,723 URGENT CARE CLINIC BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY MIGHT BE SICK AREN'T 207 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:53,026 A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE OF THE ENTIRE POPULATION. 208 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,428 I MEAN, I KNOW I'VE DEFINITELY GONE TO URGENT CARE LIKE FOUR OR 209 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,198 FIVE TIMES TO ASK THEM ABOUT A WEIRD RASH AND BEEN TOLD IT'S 210 00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:01,234 JUST NEW YORK SKIN COULD BE BEDBUGS 211 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,837 COULD BE A RAT BITE. COULD BE HEAT RASH FROM HAVING 212 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,039 YOUR RADIATOR STUCK ON HIGH ALL WINTER 213 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,675 COULD BE RADIATION FROM A COCKROACH IN YOUR KITCHEN 214 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,845 SMOKING A CIGARETTE. "I'M YOUR NEW ROOMMATE 215 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:18,184 AND NO, I WON'T WEAR A MASK. WE NEED TO GET ORGANIC SOAPS." 216 00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:21,688 AS ONE BIOLOGIST ‐‐ "I'M SORRY I DRAW THE LINE AT SOAPS." 217 00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,190 AS ONE BIOLOGIST WHO SPECIALIZES IN INFECTIOUS DISEASE MODELING 218 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:28,328 PUT IT, THE DOCTORS' METHOD WAS A BIT LIKE ESTIMATING THE 219 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:31,197 AVERAGE HEIGHT OF AMERICANS FROM THE PLAYERS ON AN NBA COURT 220 00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:34,033 WHICH IS RIDICULOUS. YOU CAN'T ESTIMATE THE AVERAGE 221 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,302 HEIGHT OF AMERICANS FROM THE PLAYERS ON AN NBA COURT. 222 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,938 HOWEVER, YOU CAN ESTIMATE THE AVERAGE BASKETBALL SKILL LEVEL 223 00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:41,908 OF AMERICANS FROM THE PLAYERS ON THE KNICKS 224 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,877 AND BOTH OF THESE CASES, THOSE VIDEOS ARE NOT JUST SEEN BY 225 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,979 MILLIONS OF PEOPLE BEFORE BEING TAKEN DOWN, THEY WERE ALSO 226 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:49,816 AMPLIFIED BY RIGHT‐WING MEDIA. THE SINCLAIR BROADCAST GROUP HAD 227 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,418 PLANNED TO AIR AN INTERVIEW WITH THE STAR OF "PLANDEMIC" THIS 228 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:55,155 PAST WEEKEND UNTIL IT BACKED DOWN AFTER AN OUTCRY 229 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,923 ALTHOUGH, EVEN IN THEIR STATEMENT WITHDRAWING THE 230 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:59,325 SEGMENT, THEY ALSO SEEMED TO DEFEND THEIR INITIAL DECISION A 231 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,395 LITTLE, WRITING, "WE'RE A SUPPORTER OF FREE SPEECH AND A 232 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,164 MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS AND VIEWPOINTS, EVEN IF INCREDIBLY 233 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,799 CONTROVERSIAL. THAT'S NOT A JUSTIFICATION FOR 234 00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,269 JUST SAYING WHATEVER YOU WANT WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES 235 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,571 YOU GUYS LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THE MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS, BUT ACTUAL 236 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:15,275 MARKETPLACES ARE ALSO FREE TO IMPOSE THEIR OWN RULES 237 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,577 BECAUSE IF YOU JUST LET EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING INTO THE 238 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,980 MARKETPLACE, YOU GET ETSY. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARK. 239 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:25,118 "OH, A DREAM CATCHER MADE OF OLD FRESCA CANS, YOU SHOULDN'T 240 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:28,188 HAVE." AND I'M NOT SAYING FREE SPEECH 241 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,490 SHOULD BE REGULATED BY THE GOVERNMENT, BUT WE CAN DO THINGS 242 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:34,194 LIKE SAY BREAK UP BIG TECH COMPANIES SO THEY DON'T HAVE SO 243 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,829 MUCH MONOPOLY POWER. ALSO, A MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS, 244 00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,932 JUST LIKE A MARKETPLACE OF GOODS, SHOULD BE RESPONSIVE TO 245 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,668 CRITICISM. IN A REAL MARKETPLACE, YOU CAN'T 246 00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:45,271 JUST OPEN A STORE CALLED "ARSENIC‐FIL‐A" OR "TOYS R US 247 00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:48,841 AND US TOYS R KNIVES" AND THEN SAY, "YOU CAN'T CRITICIZE ME 248 00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:51,578 IT'S THE FREE MARKET." DANGEROUS MISINFORMATION LIKE 249 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:54,314 THIS HAS BEEN SURGING DURING THE PANDEMIC, OFTEN WITH THE HELP OF 250 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,383 PROMINENT FIGURES ON THE RIGHT THE LATEST EXAMPLE IS A FACEBOOK 251 00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:01,221 VIDEO STAGED AND FUNDED BY A RIGHT‐WING DARK MONEY GROUPS 252 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,723 THE VIDEO, WHICH WAS VIEWED BY OVER 20 MILLION PEOPLE BEFORE 253 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,993 BEING TAKEN DOWN, CLAIMED YOU DON'T NEED TO WEAR A MASK 254 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:10,163 BECAUSE THE ANTI‐MALARIA DRUG HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE IS A CURE FOR 255 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:13,366 CORONAVIRUS, EVEN THOUGH IT'S BEEN REPEATEDLY DISPROVEN BY 256 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:16,502 STUDY AFTER STUDY. JUST LAST WEEK, THERE WAS YET 257 00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:18,471 ANOTHER STUDY, PUBLISHED IN "THE NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE" 258 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,107 WHICH FOUND THAT HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE DOES NOT HELP 259 00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:23,710 COVID‐ 19 PATIENTS NO DRUG HAS BEEN STUDIED THIS 260 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:26,879 MUCH ‐ "SINCE THOSE TROUBLEMAKERS AT 261 00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:29,415 PSI U CONDUCTED AN EXPERIMENT TO SEE WHICH STRAIN OF MARIJUANA 262 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,918 MAKES DORITOS TASTE BETTER I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, GENTLEMEN, 263 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,654 YOU'VE ALL FLUNKED OUT." AND BELIEVE ME, WE ALL WISH 264 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:37,924 HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE ACTUALLY WORKED 265 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,459 WE WISH EVERYTHING WORKED. EVERYONE WISHES THERE WAS A CURE 266 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,761 FOR CORONAVIRUS. NO ONE WANTS TO BE TRAPPED 267 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,063 INSIDE FOR THIS LONG IF HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE REALLY 268 00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:47,267 WORKED, I'D TAKE AN UBER POOL TO TIMES SQUARE TO GET COUGHED ON 269 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,302 BY A TOURIST JUST FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE 270 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:52,171 OH, TIMES SQUARE WHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD CAN YOU 271 00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:57,310 GET M&Ms I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FIRST IN LINE 272 00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,146 AT MY LOCAL BODEGA ORDERING A BACON, EGG AND CHEESE. 273 00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:02,115 WELL, NO, WITH MY LUCK, I'D BE SECOND IN LINE BEHIND A 274 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,083 CONSTRUCTION WORKER PLACING AN ORDER FOR HIS ENTIRE CREW. 275 00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:08,121 "ON THE FIFTH SANDWICH, I NEED PEPPER AND LIGHT HOT SAUCE." 276 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:12,258 I MISS YOU, FRIEND I HAVE CURSED YOU UNDER MY 277 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,560 BREATH, BUT I DO MISS YOU NOW. BUT ALL THE STUDIES TELL US 278 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:18,531 HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE DOESN'T WORK AND PUSHING IT IS DANGEROUS, 279 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,334 ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY NEED IT FOR 280 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:24,737 CONDITIONS LIKE LUPUS. AFTER THE PRESIDENT BEGAN 281 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:27,240 TOUTING HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE FOR CORONAVIRUS EARLIER THIS YEAR, 282 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,310 LUPUS PATIENTS STRUGGLED TO GET IT WITH ONE TELLING "USA TODAY" 283 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,913 THAT BECAUSE SHE WAS UNABLE TO FILL HER PRESCRIPTION, SHE IS 284 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,115 RATIONING HER PILLS, TAKING A HALF‐PILL EVERY DAY, A QUARTER 285 00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:38,851 OF HER NORMAL DOSAGE THAT'S HORRIBLE. 286 00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:41,788 LUPUS PATIENTS BASICALLY HAVE TO MICRODOSE A LIFE‐SAVING 287 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,656 MEDICATION THE SAME WAY YOUR RECENTLY DIVORCED AUNT 288 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,826 MICRODOSES LSD "IF I TAKE THE RIGHT AMOUNT, 289 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,763 IT'S ALMOST LIKE STEVE NEVER EXISTED IN THIS UNIVERSE." 290 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,199 AND YET, BECAUSE THEY'VE FAILED ON THE PANDEMIC RESPONSE, AND 291 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:56,002 BECAUSE THEY'RE DESPERATE FOR A MAGIC FIX THAT WILL MAKE THE 292 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,738 CRISIS GO AWAY, PROMINENT FIGURES ON THE RIGHT ARE NOW 293 00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:01,908 PUSHING THE DISCREDITED HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE VIDEO 294 00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:05,278 THE PRESIDENT'S SON, DON JR., HAD HIS TWITTER ACCOUNT 295 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,014 PARTIALLY LOCKED FOR 12 HOURS AFTER TWEETING THE VIDEO TO HIS 296 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:11,617 FIVE MILLION FOLLOWERS AND THEN LAST NIGHT, HE WENT ON FOX NEWS TO COMPLAIN 297 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,486 >> NOW, TWITTER TAKES ME DOWN FOR 298 00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:18,291 THAT BUT TWITTER HAS NO PROBLEM SAYING THAT CORONAVIRUS 299 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:22,662 DISINFORMATION SPREAD BY THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT DOES NOT 300 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:25,698 VIOLATE THEIR RULES. THAT'S INTERESTING 301 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:30,136 JAKE TAPPER HIMSELF, A FEW WEEKS AGO, POSTED, "STUDY FINDS 302 00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,638 HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE HELPED CORONAVIRUS PATIENTS SURVIVE 303 00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:36,576 BETTER." NOW, WHY IS JAKE TAPPER NOT 304 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:39,879 SPREADING MISINFORMATION BUT I SOMEHOW AM 305 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,381 >> Seth: IT'S FUN WHEN A DUMB GUY BRINGS PRINTOUTS TO AN 306 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,715 INTERVIEW. IT'S LIKE WHEN THE JOCK ON 307 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:45,118 CAMPUS CARRIES AROUND A BOOK TO IMPRESS GIRLS. 308 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,186 "OH, THIS? YEAH, I WAS JUST READING ABOUT 309 00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,489 MY FAVORITE AUTHOR, ERNEST HEMINGWAY 310 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:52,759 HE WENT TO JAIL. THEY MADE A MOVIE ABOUT IT." 311 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,627 OH, WAIT, WAIT I'M SORRY. 312 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,928 WHAT'S ON ONE OF THOSE PRINTOUTS? 313 00:14:55,928 --> 00:15:00,900 OH, MAN. >> WHAT IS IT? 314 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,803 I CAN'T SEE. >> Seth: NOTHING 315 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,538 AND BY THE WAY, THERE'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A JOURNALIST 316 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,940 TWEETING A LINK TO A NEWS STORY AND WHAT YOU TWEETED OUT 317 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,143 AT LEAST HE TWEETED A LINK TO A REPUTABLE NEWS ORGANIZATION 318 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:13,413 REPORTING ON A STUDY THAT PUT THE FINDINGS IN PROPER CONTEXT 319 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,249 AND USED CAUTIOUS LANGUAGE WHEREAS YOU JUST TWEETED OUT A 320 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:19,218 VIDEO FUNDED BY A RIGHT WING DARK MONEY GROUP WITH A DOCTOR 321 00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:23,356 CALLING HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE A, QUOTE, "CURE FOR CORONAVIRUS." 322 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,992 A DOCTOR, BY THE WAY, WHO ALSO CLAIMS THAT GYNECOLOGICAL 323 00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:28,628 PROBLEMS ARE, IN FACT, CAUSED BY PEOPLE HAVING SEX IN THEIR 324 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,497 DREAMS WITH DEMONS AND WITCHES, THAT ALIEN DNA IS CURRENTLY USED 325 00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,800 IN MEDICAL TREATMENTS AND SCIENTISTS ARE COOKING UP A 326 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,036 VACCINE TO PREVENT PEOPLE FROM BEING RELIGIOUS AND THAT THE 327 00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:40,206 GOVERNMENT IS RUN IN PART NOT BY HUMANS BUT BY REPTILES AND OTHER 328 00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:43,042 ALIENS "HEY, TON, I FIGURED OUT WHERE 329 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:46,212 THAT DISCHARGE CAME FROM I HAD DREAM SEX WITH A DEMON." 330 00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:49,849 "OH! WE'RE STILL EATING HERE. 331 00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,818 DEMON SPERM SOUNDS LIKE A CATCHPHRASE ON "CHURCH CHAT: 332 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,754 AFTER DARK." "LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR THROBBING 333 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:59,358 LOINS AND PULSATING BUTTOCKS IS IT POSSIBLE YOU'RE INFECTED 334 00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:07,033 WITH, COULD IT BE, DEMON SPERM?" SIDE NOTE. 335 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:10,503 I'M VERY CLOSE TO HAVING EARLY 1990s DANA CARVEY HAIR ALTHOUGH 336 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:13,439 I'M EVEN CLOSER TO DENNIS MILLER. 337 00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:16,175 OH, MAN. HAVE THOSE '90s MILLER LOCKS 338 00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:19,679 THAT'S THE DREAM >> BACK TO THE LOOK, JOCKO 339 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,747 >> Seth: SEE HE SERVES A PURPOSE. 340 00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:24,584 ALSO, IF THEY WERE REALLY USING DNA IN TREATMENTS, TRUMP 341 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,352 DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE ASKED FAUCI ABOUT IT 342 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:29,088 "FAUCI, JUST SPITBALLING HERE. WHAT IF WE CAUGHT AN ALIEN AND 343 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:32,258 JUST LET IT ATTACH ITSELF TO YOUR FACE? 344 00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:34,427 YOU KNOW, LIKE A BIG HAND? I'M HEARING VERY GOOD THINGS 345 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,163 FROM MY FRIENDS AT THE WEYLAND‐YUTANI CORPORATION, 346 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,932 FAUCI. SERIOUSLY, DOES SHE ACTUALLY 347 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,801 PRACTICE MEDICINE? FILLING OUT THOSE INSURANCE 348 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,170 FORMS MUST BE A NIGHTMARE. HAVE YOU RECENTLY, ONE, TRAVELED 349 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,540 ABROAD, TWO, VISITED A FARM, THREE, BONED A DEMON 350 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,943 SERIOUSLY, WHO ON EARTH COULD POSSIBLY TRUST A DOCTOR LIKE 351 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,746 THIS OH, GOD. WHY'D I ASK? 352 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,416 >> THERE WAS A ‐‐ A WOMAN WHO WAS 353 00:16:57,416 --> 00:17:00,786 SPECTACULAR IN HER STATEMENTS ABOUT IT, THAT SHE'S HAD 354 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:03,856 TREMENDOUS SUCCESS WITH IT AND THEY TOOK HER ‐‐ THEY TOOK 355 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,691 HER VOICE OFF. I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY TOOK HER 356 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,560 OFF BUT THEY TOOK HER OFF. I CAN TELL YOU THIS. 357 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,730 SHE WAS ON AIR, ALONG WITH MANY OTHER DOCTORS. 358 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:14,367 THEY WERE BIG FANS OF HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE 359 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,302 AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE 360 00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:19,505 I WAS VERY IMPRESSED WITH HER AND OTHER DOCTORS THAT STOOD 361 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:22,875 WITH HER I THINK SHE MADE SENSE 362 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,644 >> Seth: COOL, SO, TRUMP WON'T LISTEN TO THE RENOWNED 363 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,812 INFECTIOUS DISEASE EXPERT WHO ACTUALLY WORKS FOR HIM BUT HE 364 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:30,416 LOVES THE DEMON SPERM LADY WAS HE LIKE THIS WHEN HE LIVED 365 00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:32,385 IN NEW YORK? BECAUSE NEW YORK IS FILLED WITH 366 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,121 PEOPLE LIKE THIS IF YOU GO TO A COMMUNITY BOARD 367 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:37,757 MEETING, THERE'S ALWAYS AT LEAST ONE DEMON SPERM GUY. 368 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,392 THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW THE MEETING IS ENDING. 369 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,027 "ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE TIME FOR ONE MORE ISSUE 370 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,529 YES, YOU, SIR? "YEAH, I GOT A QUESTION. 371 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,197 WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THE DEMON SPERM ON THE STATUE IN 372 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,166 THE PARK?" "SIR, FOR THE LAST TIME, THAT'S 373 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,435 PIGEON POOP. "THAT'S WHAT AZAZEL WANTS YOU TO 374 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:51,070 THINK. "WE'RE ADJOURNED." 375 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,472 ALTHOUGH, I GUESS TRUMP IS USED TO HEARING CRAZY STUFF FROM 376 00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:56,442 DOCTORS SINCE THIS GUY WAS HIS DOCTOR 377 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,078 "HEY, MAN, YOU WANT TO TRY THIS ALIEN VACCINE I'VE BEEN WORKING 378 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,681 ON IT'S HERE SOMEWHERE. 379 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:07,386 SOY SAUCE PACKET, SOY SAUCE PACKET, HONEY MUSTARD. 380 00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:10,122 HERE WE ARE, COCAINE OH, DID I SAY VACCINE? 381 00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:12,625 I MEANT COCAINE. DANGEROUS CORONAVIRUS 382 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,493 MISINFORMATION IS SURGING ON SOCIAL MEDIA 383 00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:16,896 AND IT'S BEING AMPLIFIED BY THE PRESIDENT AND HIS BACKERS 384 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,765 BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEIR RESPONSE TO THE PANDEMIC HAS BEEN A 385 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,501 COLOSSAL FAILURE JUST STEP BACK AND CONSIDER HOW 386 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,971 INSANE THIS IS THE PRESIDENT CAN'T BE BOTHERED 387 00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,840 TO FOCUS ON THE THINGS THAT ACTUALLY WORK, LIKE TESTING, 388 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,544 CONTACT TRACING, ISOLATION OR MASK‐WEARING, BUT IF A CRAZY 389 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:35,982 PERSON POSTS A VIDEO CLAIMING LIZARD PEOPLE ARE MAKING ALIEN VACCINES, HIS RESPONSE IS ‐‐ 390 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,651 >> THAT'S INTERESTING. >> Seth: "THAT'S THE LOOK, 391 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:42,355 FOLKS. AND I AM OUT OF HERE." 392 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:47,493 ♪ SO MANY NEW YORKERS ARE TURNING 393 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:49,895 TO CITY HARVEST FOR HELP FEEDING THEIR FAMILIES AND THEY NEED 394 00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:52,131 YOUR SUPPORT NOW MORE THAN EVER. THERE'S A WEBSITE BELOW TO 395 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,467 DONATE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 396 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,837 DAVID SCHWIMMER. ♪ 397 00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:06,579 ♪ >> FOR MORE OF SETH'S "CLOSER 398 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,042 LOOKS," BE SURE SUBSCRIBE TO "LATE NIGHT" ON YOUTUBE. 399 00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:25,431 >> Seth: OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN EMMY‐NOMINATED ACTOR YOU 400 00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:27,600 KNOW FROM HIS WORK IN "AMERICAN CRIME STORY," "BAND OF 401 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,435 BROTHERS," AND OF COURSE "FRIENDS." 402 00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,404 HE STARS IN THE NEW COMEDY SERIES "INTELLIGENCE" WHICH IS 403 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:35,975 CURRENTLY STREAMING ON PEACOCK HERE'S MY CONVERSATION WITH DAVID SCHWIMMER. 404 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:39,378 HOW ARE YOU? >> I'M GOOD. 405 00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:41,347 HOW ARE YOU, SETH? >> Seth: I'M DOING VERY WELL 406 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:44,183 CONGRATS ON YOUR NEW SHOW. I'M VERY JEALOUS 407 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,718 I FEEL LIKE FOR A LONG TIME MY DREAM WAS TO SHOOT A COMEDY IN 408 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:49,989 ENGLAND AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT TO DO. 409 00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:54,560 >> YEAH. I FEEL REALLY, REALLY BLESSED, 410 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,429 ACTUALLY IT'S A LOT OF FUN TO WORK IN ‐‐ 411 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:59,965 IN THE UK. >> Seth: AND YOU ‐‐ DID YOU KNOW 412 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,934 THE CREATOR OF THIS SHOW HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED IN THE 413 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,969 FIRST PLACE? >> YEAH, HE'S A BUDDY OF MINE, 414 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:08,007 NICK MOHAMMED. YOU KNOW, HE AND THIS OTHER 415 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:13,045 WRITER AND ACTOR, JULIA DAVIS, HAD CREATED A SHOW THAT THEY 416 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,315 WERE THINKING ABOUT ADDING AN AMERICAN CHARACTER TO. 417 00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:19,919 THIS WAS A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO SO I WENT OUT TO LONDON TO DO 418 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:24,623 ABOUT A WEEK OF IMPROV WITH THEM AND JUST KIND OF FIND THAT 419 00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:28,360 CHARACTER AND FIND WHO THIS GUY WOULD BE 420 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:33,099 WE DISCOVERED A REALLY FUN DYNAMIC BETWEEN NICK AND I OF 421 00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:37,236 KIND OF A DIFFERENCE IN STATUS, OF POWER 422 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,839 AND I GUESS NICK REALLY LOVED THAT DYNAMIC 423 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,141 AND WE HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME WORKING TOGETHER THAT ABOUT A 424 00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:45,978 YEAR LATER HE JUST EMAILED ME THIS IDEA. 425 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:49,582 AND I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS ‐‐ I WAS JUST SO TICKLED BY THE IDEA 426 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:53,285 OF A WORKPLACE COMEDY SET IN THE HIGH‐STAKES WORLD OF NATIONAL 427 00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:58,524 SECURITY AND CYBER TERRORISM THAT I ‐‐ AND THIS GUY WHO'S 428 00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:02,461 SUCH A POMPOUS AMERICAN BLOWHARD 429 00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:05,998 I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A REALLY FUN OPPORTUNITY. 430 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,433 SO ‐ >> Seth: IT DOES SEEM LIKE A 431 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,702 CHARACTER THAT YOU SINK YOUR TEETH INTO 432 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,404 DID YOU KNOW FROM THE EARLY CREATION OF THE CHARACTER OR THE 433 00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:15,808 FACT THAT IT WAS THIS WORKPLACE INTELLIGENCE COMEDY THAT YOU 434 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:19,745 WANTED TO BE THE BRASH SORT OF BLOWHARDY AMERICAN CHARACTER 435 00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:23,816 >> THAT'S KIND OF WHO HE WAS FROM THE OFFSET. 436 00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,084 AND WE WORKED ON IT THEN TOGETHER FOR ABOUT A YEAR, YEAR 437 00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:28,053 AND A HALF, TRYING TO FIND ‐‐ TRYING TO FIND THIS GUY WHO, TO 438 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:33,192 ME, IS INSPIRED FROM A LOT OF MEN IN POWER IN OUR ‐‐ 439 00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:36,262 >> Seth: YEAH. >> IN OUR COUNTRY, AND PROBABLY 440 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:39,899 HIS. THIS, YOU KNOW ‐‐ THIS MOSTLY 441 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:47,740 IGNORANT NARCISSIST AND CASUALLY ‐‐ CASUALLY SEXIST AND 442 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:53,746 RACIST AND HOMOPHOBIC AND ‐‐ AND VERY PATRIOTIC, MOSTLY BECAUSE 443 00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:58,117 HE'S NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE UNITED STATES IN HIS LIFE. 444 00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:01,487 >> Seth: RIGHT WERE YOU ‐‐ YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY 445 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:05,424 WE BOTH HAVE BACKGROUNDS AS IMPROVISERS BUT I HAVEN'T DONE 446 00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:07,393 IT FOR SO LONG I THINK I WOULD BE A LITTLE 447 00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:09,161 TERRIFIED IF SOMEBODY SAID, "HEY, LET'S GO ‐‐ 448 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,996 LET'S IMPROVISE. DID YOU ‐‐ WAS IT ALL ‐‐ DID IT 449 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:14,533 ALL COME BACK TO YOU, OR WAS IT SCARY? 450 00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:19,438 >> IT WAS ‐‐ IT WASN'T SCARY, BUT I ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I ‐‐ I KNOW 451 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:25,544 YOUR BACKGROUND OF IMPROV AND BOOM CHICAGO AND EVERYTHING. 452 00:22:25,544 --> 00:22:32,451 BUT ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I LEARNED EARLY ON FROM WHEN I WAS IN AN IMPROV 453 00:22:32,451 --> 00:22:39,758 GROUP WITH COLBERT THAT I ‐‐ HE JUST OUTCLASSED ME 454 00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:41,393 YOU KNOW SO, I ‐‐ I KIND OF APPROACH IT 455 00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:43,162 WHEN I'M IN ‐‐ I THINK IT'S A LITTLE ‐‐ I APPROACH IT MORE 456 00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:45,164 LIKE AN ACTOR IN CHARACTER AS LONG AS I'VE GOT A REALLY 457 00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:47,233 SOLID CHARACTER AND KIND OF AN IDEA OF WHAT THE SCENE'S ABOUT, 458 00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:50,803 I FEEL PERMISSION TO IMPROV. AND NICK IS SO GOOD. 459 00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:54,840 HE'S AS GOOD AS YOU AND COLBERT AT IT. 460 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,344 SO I FEEL LIKE HE CARRIED ME, PRETTY MUCH. 461 00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:00,312 >> Seth: YOU ‐‐ SO YOU BROUGHT UP COLBERT, NOW I NEED TO SAY 462 00:23:00,312 --> 00:23:04,683 IT COLBERT, YOU, MYSELF, OUR OTHER 463 00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:07,219 GUEST TONIGHT, ROBIN THEDE, ALL GRADUATES OF NORTHWESTERN 464 00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:10,055 UNIVERSITY >> YEAH. 465 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,490 >> Seth: I KNOW WE TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE, YOU SPOKE AT MY 466 00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:12,825 GRADUATION AND I KNOW THAT'S LIKE ‐‐ 467 00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:15,194 THERE'S A GOOD AND BAD TO THAT 'CAUSE ONE, I FEEL LIKE I'M ‐‐ 468 00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:17,496 I'M AGE SHAMING YOU. BUT TWO ‐‐ 469 00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:19,832 >> YOU ARE YOU ARE. 470 00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:20,933 THANK YOU FOR THAT THANKS 471 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:22,968 >> Seth: THE BEST COMMENCEMENT SPEECH I'VE EVER ‐‐ I MEAN I 472 00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:25,170 HAVEN'T HEARD THAT MANY, BUT IT WAS OUTSTANDING. 473 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:29,208 >> THANK YOU >> Seth: THEN ‐‐ SO RIGHT OUT OF 474 00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:31,510 COLLEGE, DID YOU ‐‐ I KNOW LOOKINGGLASS, YOUR THEATER 475 00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:32,912 COMPANY IN CHICAGO, WAS THAT RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE THAT YOU 476 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:35,648 STARTED THAT >> YEAH, WE STARTED UPON 477 00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:37,950 GRADUATION, ACTUALLY, FROM NORTHWESTERN 478 00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:40,686 MAYBE BECAUSE WE JUST DIDN'T WANT ‐‐ WE WERE TOO SCARED TO 479 00:23:40,686 --> 00:23:43,856 ENTER THE REAL WORLD BUT, YEAH, WE ‐‐ WE REALLY WERE 480 00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:47,893 HUNGRY AND DETERMINED TO START OUR OWN COMPANY. 481 00:23:47,893 --> 00:23:50,396 WE HAD BEEN DIRECTING EACH OTHER IN ‐‐ THROUGHOUT, YOU KNOW, OUR 482 00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:54,033 YEARS AT NORTHWESTERN. AND THEN I STARTED TO BOUNCE 483 00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:57,102 BACK BETWEEN AUDITIONING FOR TV AND FILM IN L. A. 484 00:23:57,102 --> 00:24:01,140 AND COMMUTING TO CHICAGO SO I GO BACK AND FORTH TO DO 485 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:04,209 THEATER IN CHICAGO WITH MY COMPANY AND TRY TO ‐‐ 486 00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:09,014 TRY TO CLIMB THE, YOU KNOW, THE HOLLYWOOD, YOU KNOW, RUNGS, AS 487 00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:14,353 IT WERE, THE LADDER, TO TRY TO EKE OUT A CAREER IN TV AND FILM 488 00:24:14,353 --> 00:24:17,656 AS WELL. >> Seth: IT'S FUNNY. 489 00:24:17,656 --> 00:24:20,726 YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY, YOU KNOW, I THINK, LIKE EVERYBODY IN THAT 490 00:24:20,726 --> 00:24:23,329 CAST, YOU CAME TO PROMINENCE ON "FRIENDS." 491 00:24:23,329 --> 00:24:25,130 I DID NOT REALIZE YOU WERE ON ANOTHER ICONIC SHOW. 492 00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:26,665 I DID NOT REALIZE UNTIL TODAY THAT YOU WERE ON "THE WONDER 493 00:24:26,665 --> 00:24:29,034 YEARS. >> OH, YEAH. 494 00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:31,337 >> Seth: AND BASED ON THIS PHOTO, A VERY DIFFERENT 495 00:24:31,337 --> 00:24:33,839 CHARACTER THAN ROSS. >> I WAS PLAYING THIS ‐‐ THIS 496 00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:39,545 KIND OF HIPPIE ‐‐ NOT HIPPIE, BUT MORE LIKE A WANDERING 497 00:24:39,545 --> 00:24:43,349 CONSTRUCTION KIND OF GUY AND ‐‐ WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH 498 00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:47,186 OLIVIA dABO'S CHARACTER, YOU KNOW, THE SISTER 499 00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:52,992 AND THAT WAS MY FIRST INTRODUCTION TO TV, REALLY 500 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:56,795 I MEAN, THAT WAS MY FIRST REAL BREAK. 501 00:24:56,795 --> 00:24:58,664 AND I CAN TELL YOU, THE FIRST ‐‐ ACTUALLY, MY FIRST REAL SCENE ON 502 00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:01,000 CAMERA ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I COME FROM THEATER SO 503 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:07,740 I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING, RIGHT? 504 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:09,174 I JUST THOUGHT, "OKAY, WE ALL REHEARSE THIS BIG DINNER SCENE." 505 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:14,413 ACTUALLY, ABOUT FIVE OF US SAT AT THE TABLE 506 00:25:14,413 --> 00:25:15,814 AND WE REHEARSED, AND I FELT KIND OF NERVOUS. 507 00:25:15,814 --> 00:25:18,550 I'M STEPPING INTO THIS BIG CAST, THIS HUGE SHOW 508 00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:21,620 AND THEY SHOOT ‐‐ THEY SHOOT FRED FIRST 509 00:25:21,620 --> 00:25:25,657 THEY SHOOT HIM BECAUSE HE HAD TO GO TO SCHOOL AFTER HIS ‐ 510 00:25:25,657 --> 00:25:27,726 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: RIGHT, OF COURSE. 511 00:25:27,726 --> 00:25:29,528 >> SO, THEY SHOT HIM OUT AND THEN THEY SHOOT EVERYONE 512 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,697 ELSE OUT AND I'M LAST 513 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:34,566 AND WHEN I'M FINALLY ON CAMERA, I'M ACTING ACROSS A PIECE OF 514 00:25:34,566 --> 00:25:36,935 TAPE THAT THEY PUT NEXT TO THE CAMERA BOX 515 00:25:36,935 --> 00:25:40,906 [ LAUGHTER ] AND SOME OLDER SCRIPT SUPERVISOR 516 00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:43,175 KIND OF READING THE LINES. AND I'M LIKE, "OH MY GOD 517 00:25:43,175 --> 00:25:46,011 THIS IS MY INTRO I'M JUST ACTING WITH A PIECE OF 518 00:25:46,011 --> 00:25:48,847 TAPE." ANYWAY, IT WAS ‐‐ IT WAS BAPTISM 519 00:25:48,847 --> 00:25:51,583 BY FIRE, I GUESS, BUT YOU KNOW >> Seth: I THINK THE OTHER WEIRD 520 00:25:51,583 --> 00:25:54,653 THING THAT HAPPENS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU'RE ON TELEVISION ‐‐ MY 521 00:25:54,653 --> 00:25:58,357 FIRST TIME, I WAS AT A VERY SMALL ROLE IN AN EPISODE OF 522 00:25:58,357 --> 00:26:00,325 "SPIN CITY." PEOPLE AT HOME, THEY SEE YOU AND 523 00:26:00,325 --> 00:26:05,297 THEY ASSUME, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN ON NETWORK TELEVISION, THAT YOU 524 00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:08,467 HAVE NOW MADE IT AND YOU HAVE NOTHING BUT MONEY. 525 00:26:08,467 --> 00:26:11,070 BUT THE REALITY IS LIKE, AS SOON AS I DID THAT EPISODE, I WENT 526 00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:12,905 BACK TO MY NORMAL LIFE THE SAME HAPPENED FOR YOU, 527 00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:15,207 RIGHT? >> FOR SURE. 528 00:26:15,207 --> 00:26:17,709 I MEAN, I WAS WAITING TABLES FOR SEVEN YEARS DURING ALL THESE 529 00:26:17,709 --> 00:26:21,647 LITTLE GIGS, YOU KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT 530 00:26:21,647 --> 00:26:23,282 I MEAN, PEOPLE THINK, "WOW, YOU'RE ON TV 531 00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:26,452 YOU MADE IT! BUT, I MEAN, THE FIRST TIME I 532 00:26:26,452 --> 00:26:28,987 ACTUALLY SAW MYSELF ON TELEVISION, ON "THE WONDER 533 00:26:28,987 --> 00:26:33,459 YEARS," I WAS WAITING TABLES I WAS ON MY SHIFT. 534 00:26:33,459 --> 00:26:36,628 AND ONE OF MY BUDDIES, ANOTHER WAITER, YOU KNOW, POINTED OUT TO 535 00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:41,133 THE TELEVISION THAT WE HAD OVER THE BAR ‐‐ AT THE BAR AREA OF 536 00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:44,069 THE RESTAURANT HE SAID, "SCHWIMMER, YOU'RE ON 537 00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:47,239 TV." I LOOKED, LIKE, "YEAH. 538 00:26:47,239 --> 00:26:49,408 AND I TURNED BACK TO MY TABLE. I WAS LIKE, "DO YOU WANT BLUE 539 00:26:49,408 --> 00:26:55,214 CHEESE OR THOUSAND ISLAND? [ LAUGHTER ] 540 00:26:55,214 --> 00:26:57,282 >> Seth: IT'S VERY HUMBLING. IT'S ‐‐ THAT'S A GOOD STORY. 541 00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:59,718 I HOPE THAT EVERYBODY WHO'S TRYING TO GET INTO THIS BUSINESS 542 00:26:59,718 --> 00:27:02,654 CAN HEAR THAT AND BE A LITTLE INSPIRED BY HOW IT ULTIMATELY 543 00:27:02,654 --> 00:27:06,058 TURNED OUT >> WELL, IT ALSO ‐‐ I THINK IT 544 00:27:06,058 --> 00:27:11,497 TEACHES YOU SO MUCH RESPECT FOR ANYONE IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY, 545 00:27:11,497 --> 00:27:13,632 FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I MEAN ‐ 546 00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:15,334 >> Seth: YES >> IF YOU EVER WAITED TABLES, AS 547 00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:18,737 I DID FOR SEVEN YEARS, FIRST OF ALL, YOU TIP REALLY WELL FOR THE 548 00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:21,240 REST OF YOUR LIFE ‐‐ >> Seth: ABSOLUTELY. 549 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,643 >> BECAUSE YOU JUST KNOW HOW MUCH ‐‐ HOW MUCH PEOPLE RELY ON 550 00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:28,881 GRATUITY THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I PAID MY 551 00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:31,617 BILLS, YOU KNOW, FOR ALL THOSE YEARS. 552 00:27:31,617 --> 00:27:33,485 >> Seth: I ALSO ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY, BUT I 553 00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:36,321 THINK THERE'S THIS PROJECTION OF HOW STRESSFUL SHOW BUSINESS CAN 554 00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:38,056 BE AND IT'S NOT WITHOUT ITS 555 00:27:38,056 --> 00:27:39,591 STRESSES, BUT THE ONLY STRESS DREAMS I EVER HAVE ARE ONES 556 00:27:39,591 --> 00:27:42,761 ABOUT BEING A WAITER THAT IS STILL ‐‐ TABLE SEVEN 557 00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:48,500 NEEDS THEIR BURRITO. THAT WILL WAKE ME UP IN THE 558 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,302 MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT MORE THAN ANYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENED IN 559 00:27:50,302 --> 00:27:52,171 MY CAREER. WELL, I HOPE, ONE, WE ALL CAN 560 00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:55,340 GET BACK TO RESTAURANTS SOON AND TWO, THAT WE ALL CAN 561 00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:57,309 REMEMBER TO OVERTIP OUR WAITING STAFF. 562 00:27:57,309 --> 00:27:59,378 >> YES, YES. >> Seth: CONGRATS ON THE SHOW. 563 00:27:59,378 --> 00:28:00,812 IT'S ALWAYS NICE TALKING TO YOU, DAVID. 564 00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:01,914 >> THANKS, MAN THANK, SETH. 565 00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:04,183 I APPRECIATE IT. >> Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK 566 00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:04,742 WITH A VISIT FROM FRED ARMISEN ♪ 567 00:28:18,197 --> 00:28:29,308 ♪ >> Seth: I'M SO GLAD 568 00:28:29,308 --> 00:28:31,276 FRED ARMISEN IS BACK THIS WEEK LEADING THE 8G BAND. 569 00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:34,012 AND WHEN HE'S HERE, THERE'S A THING WE LIKE TO DO WHERE I SHOW 570 00:28:34,012 --> 00:28:36,215 FRED A FAMOUS PAINTING AND GET HIM TO TELL US ABOUT IT. 571 00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:38,817 LITTLE‐KNOWN FACT, FRED HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE PAINTING IS OR 572 00:28:38,817 --> 00:28:40,586 REALLY ANYTHING ABOUT ART HISTORY. 573 00:28:40,586 --> 00:28:41,553 IT'S JUST ALL OFF THE TOP OF HIS 574 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:45,791 HEAD AND I GRIN AND LOVE IT. HERE'S ONCE AGAIN IS "FRED ARMISEN: ART AFICIONADO. 575 00:28:48,794 --> 00:28:50,963 >> Seth: HEY, FRED, HOW ARE YOU? >> Fred: HOW YOU DOING 576 00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:53,398 >> Seth: I'M GOOD. SO YOU HAVE ALWAYS CLAIMED YOU 577 00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:56,435 KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERY PAINTING EVER PAINTED. 578 00:28:56,435 --> 00:28:58,971 LAST CHANCE TO ADMIT THAT THAT WAS A LIE. 579 00:28:58,971 --> 00:29:01,006 >> Fred: NO. I KNOW ABOUT ALL ART, PAINTING, 580 00:29:01,006 --> 00:29:05,277 SCULPTURE, PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING 581 00:29:05,277 --> 00:29:06,712 >> Seth: OKAY, WELL, HERE'S TODAY'S PAINTING 582 00:29:06,712 --> 00:29:10,549 THIS IS GEORGE BELLOWS' 1924 PAINTING, "DEMPSEY AND 583 00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:14,686 FIRPO. >> Fred: YES, THIS IS A VERY, 584 00:29:14,686 --> 00:29:18,624 VERY FAMOUS PAINTING PEOPLE WILL RECOGNIZE IT AS THE 585 00:29:18,624 --> 00:29:20,592 MOST FAMOUS PAINTING >> Seth: UH‐HUH. 586 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:23,095 >> Fred: BUT, IT'S SORT OF SECOND 587 00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:25,397 I THINK SECOND OR THIRD. IT'S JUST THAT WE JUST ‐ 588 00:29:25,397 --> 00:29:27,099 >> Seth: WHAT'S ‐‐ >> Fred: DON'T REALIZE HOW ‐ 589 00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:28,500 >> Seth: IF IT'S ‐‐ IT'S THIRD, WHAT ARE ‐‐ WHAT ARE ONE AND 590 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:30,202 TWO? >> "MONA LISA. 591 00:29:30,202 --> 00:29:35,574 >> Seth: UH‐HUH. >> AND "THE DAVID." ‐‐ 592 00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:38,744 >> Seth: OKAY. >> Fred: WHICH IS A SCULPTURE. 593 00:29:38,744 --> 00:29:39,978 BUT PEOPLE SEE IT AS A ‐‐ THEY SEE IT AS A SORT OF PAINTING 594 00:29:39,978 --> 00:29:41,380 ANYWAY ‐ >> Seth: A CLAY PAINTING 595 00:29:41,380 --> 00:29:42,681 >> Fred: THIS IS SECOND OR THIRD. 596 00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:45,083 AND PEOPLE, THEY JUST KNOW IT, BUT THEY DON'T RECOGNIZE IT ‐‐ 597 00:29:45,083 --> 00:29:46,718 >> Seth: OKAY. >> Fred: IF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT. 598 00:29:46,718 --> 00:29:48,487 IT'S SOMETHING THAT THEY SEE AND GO, "OF COURSE, I KNOW THIS 599 00:29:48,487 --> 00:29:52,524 PAINTING." SO THIS ‐‐ YOU KNOW, THIS WAS A 600 00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:55,494 SORT OF ‐‐ THIS WAS ALREADY COMPLETED. 601 00:29:55,494 --> 00:30:01,633 AND THE PAINTER'S PROFESSOR CAME BACK AND WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW, 602 00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:03,669 YOU HAVE A LOT OF PROMISE. >> Seth: OH? 603 00:30:03,669 --> 00:30:05,637 >> Fred: AND THEN HE WAS LIKE ‐‐ AND HE WAS LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU 604 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:07,406 TALKING ABOUT? I'M ALREADY A WELL‐KNOWN 605 00:30:07,406 --> 00:30:08,707 PAINTER. I'M DOING FINE 606 00:30:08,707 --> 00:30:10,342 I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL." AND HE'S LIKE, "NO, NO, YOU'RE 607 00:30:10,342 --> 00:30:11,877 REALLY ‐‐ IT'S REALLY COMING ALONG. 608 00:30:11,877 --> 00:30:14,379 IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A LOT OF EMOTION. 609 00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:16,682 AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE OTHER BOXER'S FALLING OUT OF THE 610 00:30:16,682 --> 00:30:18,650 RING." HE'S LIKE, "I KNOW, I'M GOOD 611 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,920 I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL YES, I AM ‐‐ I AM ACCOMPLISHED 612 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,223 THIS IS MAYBE MY 40th PAINTING I'M ALL GOOD." 613 00:30:25,223 --> 00:30:27,726 AND THIS PROFESSOR IS JUST LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER. 614 00:30:27,726 --> 00:30:29,695 HE WAS LIKE, "REALLY, I MEAN, I WOULD ‐‐ YOU KNOW, WITH THE 615 00:30:29,695 --> 00:30:31,229 LIGHT, I WOULD TRY TO ‐‐ AND HE WAS LIKE, "I AM ‐‐ 616 00:30:31,229 --> 00:30:33,031 LISTEN, YOU'RE ONLY GETTING IN THE WAY. 617 00:30:33,031 --> 00:30:37,002 SO FOR THE REST OF THE PAINTING, HE PAINTED LIKE ‐‐ LIKE QUIETLY 618 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:40,305 AND ANGRILY. HE'S LIKE, "DUDE IS LOOKING 619 00:30:40,305 --> 00:30:42,374 RIGHT OVER MY SHOULDER AND I'M TRYING TO FINISH THIS 620 00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:44,543 PAINTING." >> Seth: WOW 621 00:30:44,543 --> 00:30:46,645 >> Fred: AND OUT OF POLITENESS, HE WAS JUST LIKE "THANK YOU. 622 00:30:46,645 --> 00:30:48,180 THANK YOU. >> Seth: WOW 623 00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:49,581 >> Fred: SO THIS IS A PAINTING IT'S A VERY INTERESTING PAINTING 624 00:30:49,581 --> 00:30:51,983 BECAUSE IT WAS DONE TOWARDS THE END IN A LITTLE BIT OF A RUSH. 625 00:30:51,983 --> 00:30:54,286 LIKE, "I'M GOING TO JUST FINISH THIS THING AND GET IT OUT THERE 626 00:30:54,286 --> 00:30:55,921 BECAUSE THIS PROFESSOR IS LIKE ‐ 627 00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:58,757 [ LAUGHTER ] LITERALLY LOOKING OVER MY 628 00:30:58,757 --> 00:31:00,959 SHOULDER AS I'M TRYING TO COMPLETE IT. 629 00:31:00,959 --> 00:31:02,494 >> Seth: WOW, LOOKING AT THE PAINTING ‐ 630 00:31:02,494 --> 00:31:04,129 >> Fred: WHICH IS THE REASON THE REF ISN'T DRESSED LIKE A REF 631 00:31:04,129 --> 00:31:05,230 DID YOU NOTICE THE REF THERE [ LAUGHTER ] 632 00:31:05,230 --> 00:31:08,100 >> Seth: YEAH. YEAH, HE'S LIKE ‐‐ 633 00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:09,901 >> Fred: SO HE ORIGINALLY ‐‐ >> Seth: HE'S DRESSED LIKE 634 00:31:09,901 --> 00:31:11,670 SOMEONE IN AN OFFICE >> Fred: YEAH. 635 00:31:11,670 --> 00:31:14,840 OH, YEAH AND I THINK HE DID IT JUST TO 636 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,908 SORT OF LIKE, "I NEED TO PUT BEIGE AND LIGHT BLUE AND GET 637 00:31:16,908 --> 00:31:19,745 THIS GUY OUT OF HERE." SO IT WAS LIKE, "I'M DONE. 638 00:31:19,745 --> 00:31:22,147 THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'M DONE 639 00:31:22,147 --> 00:31:23,815 THIS IS ‐‐ I'M DONE. I'M GOING TO GET IT OUT THERE. 640 00:31:23,815 --> 00:31:25,217 AND THE PROFESSOR IS LIKE, "YOU'RE REALLY COMING ALONG. 641 00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:27,185 HE'S LIKE, "THANKS." >> Seth: WOW 642 00:31:27,185 --> 00:31:29,254 THAT'S FANTASTIC THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT 643 00:31:29,254 --> 00:31:31,456 INSIGHT, AS ALWAYS 644 00:31:31,456 --> 00:31:35,694 THIS HAS BEEN "FRED ARMISEN: ART AFICIONADO." [ LAUGHTER ] 645 00:31:36,695 --> 00:31:39,498 ♪ >> Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK 646 00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:41,867 WITH ROBIN THEDE. 647 00:31:41,867 --> 00:31:42,302 ♪ ♪ 648 00:32:04,523 --> 00:32:05,891 >> Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY ACTRESS, COMEDIAN, 649 00:32:05,891 --> 00:32:09,327 WRITER AND PRODUCER. HER HBO SHOW "A BLACK LADY 650 00:32:09,327 --> 00:32:12,330 SKETCH SHOW" WAS JUST NOMINATED FOR THREE EMMYS, INCLUDING 651 00:32:12,330 --> 00:32:13,331 OUTSTANDING VARIETY SKETCH 652 00:32:13,331 --> 00:32:16,334 SERIES HERE'S MY CONVERSATION WITH ROBIN THEDE. 653 00:32:17,335 --> 00:32:19,104 >> Seth: WELCOME BACK, ROBIN HOW ARE YOU? 654 00:32:19,104 --> 00:32:22,040 >> I'M SO GOOD >> Seth: YES, CONGRATULATIONS. 655 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,475 "A BLACK LADY SKETCH SHOW" NOMINATED FOR THREE AWARDS, 656 00:32:23,475 --> 00:32:29,681 INCLUDING BEST VARIETY SERIES. YOU MUST BE SO HAPPY 657 00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:34,286 >> I'M SO THRILLED I ‐‐ YESTERDAY, I ATE JELLY 658 00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:37,456 BEANS FOR BREAKFAST. I WAS VERY ‐‐ THAT WAS MY TREAT 659 00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:40,292 TO MYSELF. AND MY HOME CURRENTLY LOOKS LIKE 660 00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:42,394 A FLOWER SHOP BECAUSE I'VE HAD SO MANY DELIVERIES FROM 661 00:32:42,394 --> 00:32:46,364 BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE >> Seth: AND I WANT TO 662 00:32:46,364 --> 00:32:49,267 CONGRATULATE NOT JUST THE SHOW GETTING NOMINATED FOR SERIES, 663 00:32:49,267 --> 00:32:52,337 BUT ANGELA BASSETT AND WE TALKED LAST TIME YOU WERE 664 00:32:52,337 --> 00:32:54,105 ON THE SHOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU GOT HER TO DO A CAMEO IN 665 00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:56,274 YOUR SERIES. SHE GOT NOMINATED FOR GUEST 666 00:32:56,274 --> 00:32:59,444 ACTOR IN A COMEDY. AND THIS IS A WORLD‐RENOWNED 667 00:32:59,444 --> 00:33:01,646 ACTRESS. BUT I DON'T BELIEVE SHE'S EVER 668 00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:03,615 BEEN NOMINATED FOR COMEDY BEFORE, SO I TIP MY CAP TO YOU 669 00:33:03,615 --> 00:33:05,884 AND YOUR TEAM. >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YES. 670 00:33:05,884 --> 00:33:08,420 I AM ‐‐ YOU KNOW, ANGELA BASSETT, A YOUNG UPSTART, 671 00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:11,690 REALLY JUST SOMEONE ‐‐ >> Seth: YES 672 00:33:11,690 --> 00:33:13,558 >> AT THE BEGINNING OF THEIR COMEDY CAREER. 673 00:33:13,558 --> 00:33:16,394 SO, I'M THRILLED FOR HER AND, YOU KNOW, I SAW HER, 674 00:33:16,394 --> 00:33:18,363 ACTUALLY, AT THE IMAGE AWARDS EARLIER THIS YEAR. 675 00:33:18,363 --> 00:33:20,131 AND SHE SAID, "HEY, ROBIN. I SAID, "OH, HEY." 676 00:33:20,131 --> 00:33:22,434 AND SHE SAID, "SO WHEN DO WE START SHOOTING AGAIN?" 677 00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:25,470 [ LAUGHTER ] SO SHE OBVIOUSLY WANTED TO KEEP 678 00:33:25,470 --> 00:33:28,640 DOING THIS SO I'M LIKE, "HEY, ANYTHING YOU 679 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,576 WANT TO DO." >> Seth: AND A MORE ‐‐ OBVIOUSLY 680 00:33:31,576 --> 00:33:33,879 DIME DAVIS, YOUR DIRECTOR, LESSER KNOWN, BUT HER 681 00:33:33,879 --> 00:33:36,948 ACCOMPLISHMENT IS MORE HISTORIC AND ‐‐ AND TRULY INCREDIBLE. 682 00:33:36,948 --> 00:33:39,117 CAN YOU JUST SPEAK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND 683 00:33:39,117 --> 00:33:41,753 >> IT'S SO HUGE. SO DIME DAVIS DIRECTED OUR 684 00:33:41,753 --> 00:33:44,155 ENTIRE SERIES, SEASON ONE. SHE IS AN INCREDIBLE DIRECTOR, A 685 00:33:44,155 --> 00:33:47,092 VISIONARY. AND SHE HAS NOW SET THE RECORD 686 00:33:47,092 --> 00:33:50,295 SHE'S THE FIRST BLACK WOMAN TO EVER BE NOMINATED FOR DIRECTING 687 00:33:50,295 --> 00:33:52,797 A SERIES FOR A VARIETY SKETCH. SO, THAT'S A REALLY BIG DEAL 688 00:33:52,797 --> 00:33:57,602 THIS IS A VERY HISTORICALLY WHITE MALE SORT OF GENRE SKETCH 689 00:33:57,602 --> 00:34:00,238 COMEDY SO WHAT WE'RE DOING WITH THE 690 00:34:00,238 --> 00:34:02,641 SHOW IS RECORD BREAKING, WHAT SHE IS DOING DIRECTING IS 691 00:34:02,641 --> 00:34:05,243 RECORD‐BREAKING AND ANGELA BASSETT THE COMEDIAN. 692 00:34:05,243 --> 00:34:07,445 I MEAN, IT'S REALLY A TRANSFORMATION 693 00:34:07,445 --> 00:34:10,515 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ‐‐ 694 00:34:10,515 --> 00:34:13,118 YOU KNOW ‐‐ AND OBVIOUSLY, IT'S TRUE THAT THIS HAS BEEN, YOU 695 00:34:13,118 --> 00:34:15,754 KNOW, A PLATFORM THAT HAS BEEN, YOU KNOW, WHITE MALE DOMINATED 696 00:34:15,754 --> 00:34:18,356 OVER THE YEARS YOU WORKED ON SOME SHOWS, "THE 697 00:34:18,356 --> 00:34:20,759 NIGHTLY SHOW," AND THEN YOUR OWN SHOW, "THE RUNDOWN," THAT TALKED 698 00:34:20,759 --> 00:34:23,828 ABOUT ISSUES OF RACIAL INEQUALITY IN A WAY THAT I THINK 699 00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:28,567 ARE NOW BEING TALKED ABOUT MORE THAN THEY EVER HAVE BEEN BEFORE. 700 00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:32,037 HOW DID IT FEEL TO BE AT THE FOREFRONT OF THAT? 701 00:34:32,037 --> 00:34:34,673 AND HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW TO WATCH IT SORT OF BECOME MORE OF 702 00:34:34,673 --> 00:34:37,609 A MAINSTREAM ISSUE, FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD? 703 00:34:37,609 --> 00:34:40,345 >> I MEAN, HONESTLY, PEOPLE JUST WOULD HAVE LISTENED TO ME YEARS 704 00:34:40,345 --> 00:34:43,181 AGO, WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS NOW, BUT ‐ 705 00:34:43,181 --> 00:34:44,382 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: YOU KNOW WHAT 706 00:34:44,382 --> 00:34:46,785 TRUE STORY [ LAUGHTER ] 707 00:34:46,785 --> 00:34:48,553 >> NO, I THINK IT'S ‐‐ LOOK, EVERYTHING TAKES TIME. 708 00:34:48,553 --> 00:34:51,056 PROGRESS FEELS FAST, BUT IT REALLY HAPPENS SLOWLY. 709 00:34:51,056 --> 00:34:53,458 AND I THINK WE'RE AT THIS MAGICAL POINT IN HISTORY WHERE 710 00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:56,628 EVERYBODY WAS HOME AND HAD TO LIKE ACTUALLY HEAR THE VOICES 711 00:34:56,628 --> 00:35:00,065 WHO HAD BEEN SPEAKING OUT. BUT I THINK IT'S REALLY, REALLY 712 00:35:00,065 --> 00:35:03,635 AN INCREDIBLE TIME I THINK IT'S A TIME OF PROGRESS. 713 00:35:03,635 --> 00:35:07,572 I REALLY HOPE WE DON'T BACKSLIDE FROM WHERE WE'RE HEADING 714 00:35:07,572 --> 00:35:10,308 AND LOOK, THERE'S A LOT OF WORK TO BE DONE 715 00:35:10,308 --> 00:35:12,577 BUT LUCKILY ALL THE SEGMENTS I'VE DONE ON "LATE NIGHT" ARE 716 00:35:12,577 --> 00:35:16,181 AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE AND ‐ [ LAUGHTER ] 717 00:35:16,181 --> 00:35:17,949 AND PEOPLE CAN WATCH THEM. BUT NO, I'M JUST HAPPY 718 00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:21,019 YOU KNOW, THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN STUFF THAT, YOU KNOW, HAS BEEN 719 00:35:21,019 --> 00:35:22,854 IMPORTANT TO ME FOR YEARS. SO, I'M EXCITED THAT PEOPLE ARE 720 00:35:22,854 --> 00:35:25,256 LISTENING. AND YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY ASKED ME, 721 00:35:25,256 --> 00:35:26,791 LIKE "IS IT TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE?" 722 00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:28,560 I'M LIKE, "NO. THE TIME FOR PROGRESS IS ALWAYS 723 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,962 NOW. SO, I'M EXCITED ABOUT IT 724 00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:33,932 >> Seth: IT'S BEEN OBVIOUSLY A VERY IMPRESSIVE YEAR FOR YOU 725 00:35:33,932 --> 00:35:38,937 AND I WOULD IMAGINE YOUR PARENTS ARE IMPRESSED, BUT THEY'RE VERY 726 00:35:38,937 --> 00:35:40,905 IMPRESSIVE PEOPLE IN THEIR OWN RIGHT. 727 00:35:40,905 --> 00:35:43,308 >> THEY'RE IMPRESSIVE IN THEIR OWN RIGHT. 728 00:35:43,308 --> 00:35:45,710 I MEAN, I'M CONSTANTLY LIVING IN THEIR SHADOW 729 00:35:45,710 --> 00:35:48,346 MY MOTHER IS A POLITICIAN. SHE'S IN HER SIXTH TERM, I 730 00:35:48,346 --> 00:35:50,415 THINK, IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES IN IOWA. 731 00:35:50,415 --> 00:35:53,251 FIRST BLACK WOMAN FROM HER DISTRICT TO BE ELECTED 732 00:35:53,251 --> 00:35:56,187 SHE WAS ELECTED THE SAME NIGHT AS BARACK OBAMA AND WORKED FOR 733 00:35:56,187 --> 00:35:58,490 THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY, SO HAD WORKED ON HIS CAMPAIGN AND HERS 734 00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:02,327 AT THE SAME TIME SO ONE TIME I TOLD HE ‐‐ I THINK 735 00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:04,963 WHEN I FIRST GOT MY LATE‐NIGHT SHOW, I SAID, "MOM, YOU KNOW, 736 00:36:04,963 --> 00:36:06,631 I'M GOING TO BE DOING MY OWN LATE‐NIGHT SHOW. 737 00:36:06,631 --> 00:36:08,900 SHE'S LIKE, "COOL, I'M HERE. LET ME CALL YOU BACK" AND TEXT 738 00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:10,735 ME A PICTURE OF HER WITH BARACK OBAMA 739 00:36:10,735 --> 00:36:13,471 [ LAUGHTER ] SO, I CAN'T WIN. 740 00:36:13,471 --> 00:36:15,440 I CAN'T WIN. I'M TRYING 741 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,642 >> Seth: YOU DID A STORYLINE AT THE END OF YOUR SHOW ABOUT A 742 00:36:17,642 --> 00:36:19,811 QUARANTINE THIS WAS BEFORE THERE WAS AN 743 00:36:19,811 --> 00:36:22,981 ACTUAL QUARANTINE. >> YES 744 00:36:22,981 --> 00:36:25,283 >> Seth: SO I SHOULD NOTE THAT RACIAL INEQUALITY WAS NOT THE 745 00:36:25,283 --> 00:36:26,818 ONLY THING YOU WERE AT THE FOREFRONT OF 746 00:36:26,818 --> 00:36:28,553 [ LAUGHTER ] WE REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN 747 00:36:28,553 --> 00:36:31,523 LISTENING TO YOU I DON'T KNOW WHAT ‐‐ AS SOON AS 748 00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:33,792 YOU WRITE EVEN SCRIPTS FOR SEASON TWO, WOULD YOU SEND THEM 749 00:36:33,792 --> 00:36:36,528 TO ME SO I CAN KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS 750 00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:38,396 I FEEL LIKE THERE'S GOING TO BE THIS LIKE WAVE OF QUARANTINE 751 00:36:38,396 --> 00:36:40,832 CONTENT. YOU MUST ‐‐ IT MUST FEEL NICE TO 752 00:36:40,832 --> 00:36:42,701 KNOW THAT YOU'VE ALREADY DONE YOUR COMEDY ABOUT BEING 753 00:36:42,701 --> 00:36:45,503 ISOLATED >> YES, I AM SO GLAD THAT WE PUT 754 00:36:45,503 --> 00:36:49,007 FOUR WOMEN IN A HOUSE QUARANTINING AT THE END OF THE 755 00:36:49,007 --> 00:36:51,843 WORLD IN OUR FIRST SEASON IN AUGUST OF 2019 756 00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:54,045 AND THAT STORYLINE HAS TO CONTINUE 757 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:57,082 ANYBODY WHO'S SEEN THE SHOW, OR IF YOU HAVEN'T, SPOILER ALERT. 758 00:36:57,082 --> 00:37:00,051 IT'S A YEAR OLD, CATCH UP. [ LAUGHTER ] 759 00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:04,189 BUT WE END WITH SOMEONE RINGING THE DOORBELL 760 00:37:04,189 --> 00:37:07,158 SO, OBVIOUSLY THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY FOUR PEOPLE LEFT ON EARTH 761 00:37:07,158 --> 00:37:09,894 BUT YOU KNOW, THEY DO ALL THE QUARANTINE THINGS THAT LITERALLY 762 00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:12,297 HAPPENED TO ALL OF US. THEY ARGUE, THEY GET ON EACH 763 00:37:12,297 --> 00:37:14,165 OTHER'S NERVES, THEY EAT ALL THEIR SNACKS 764 00:37:14,165 --> 00:37:17,635 YOU KNOW, THEY LITERALLY GO THROUGH ALL THE THINGS THAT 765 00:37:17,635 --> 00:37:19,270 WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING THROUGH NOW, WHICH IS SO CRAZY 766 00:37:19,270 --> 00:37:24,309 I MEAN, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS A CLAIRVOYANT, BUT I DO NOW PUT 767 00:37:24,309 --> 00:37:28,780 THAT ON MY RESUME NEXT TO ‐‐ >> Seth: I KNOW I MENTIONED 768 00:37:28,780 --> 00:37:31,316 ALREADY, DO YOU GET ‐‐ WHAT IS THE FEEDBACK LIKE FROM YOUR 769 00:37:31,316 --> 00:37:33,051 PARENTS? ARE THEY ‐‐ DO THEY LIKE 770 00:37:33,051 --> 00:37:35,253 EVERYTHING YOU DO? OR ARE THERE TIMES THAT THEY 771 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:37,088 HAVE SOME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM? 772 00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:39,724 >> FOR THE MOST PART THEY LIKE WHAT I DO, BUT I WILL SAY THEY 773 00:37:39,724 --> 00:37:46,865 ARE VERY HONEST WHEN THEY DON'T LIKE SOMETHING 774 00:37:46,865 --> 00:37:50,201 >> Seth: REALLY? >> WE DID A SKETCH ON "A BLACK 775 00:37:50,201 --> 00:37:51,970 LADY SKETCH SHOW" WHERE I PLAYED THIS WOMAN, FEATHER ATWOOD, WHO 776 00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:53,505 WAS THE FIRST NEGRO LEAGUE GROUPIE. 777 00:37:53,505 --> 00:37:55,240 AND MY MOM WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T LOVE THAT SKETCH. 778 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:56,541 I REALLY DIDN'T LOVE THAT SKETCH." 779 00:37:56,541 --> 00:37:58,209 AND I WAS ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I CALL THEM EVERY NIGHT, EVERY WEEK IT 780 00:37:58,209 --> 00:37:59,644 WOULD AIR. AND I'M LIKE, "OH, DID YOU LOVE 781 00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:00,912 IT?" AND THEY'RE LIKE, "YEAH, YEAH, 782 00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:02,247 YEAH." AND MY MOM'S LIKE, "GIVE ME THE 783 00:38:02,247 --> 00:38:04,315 PHONE. I DIDN'T LIKE THAT SKETCH. 784 00:38:04,315 --> 00:38:06,284 I DIDN'T GET IT. I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS TASTEFUL." 785 00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,719 AND I'M LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 786 00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:09,354 [ LAUGHTER ] I'LL TRY HARDER NEXT TIME. 787 00:38:09,354 --> 00:38:11,856 >> Seth: YEAH. I THINK ONE TIME ‐‐ ONCE YOU GET 788 00:38:11,856 --> 00:38:13,725 ELECTED TO OFFICE LIKE FIVE, SIX TIMES, YOU'RE GOING TO BE VERY 789 00:38:13,725 --> 00:38:16,461 OPEN WITH HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THINGS 790 00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:18,096 >> SHE'S A VERY HONEST POLITICIAN, I'LL GIVE HER THAT 791 00:38:18,096 --> 00:38:20,431 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: HEY, ROBIN, IT IS SO 792 00:38:20,431 --> 00:38:22,700 GREAT TO SEE YOU CONGRATULATIONS. 793 00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:25,203 AND I REALLY DO ‐‐ ALL JOKES ASIDE, THIS IS SIX INCREDIBLY 794 00:38:25,203 --> 00:38:28,807 TIGHT EPISODES FULL OF TALENTED PEOPLE 795 00:38:28,807 --> 00:38:32,177 AND NOW IS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY FOR PEOPLE TO CATCH UP ON "A 796 00:38:32,177 --> 00:38:35,346 BLACK LADY SKETCH SHOW." >> YES 797 00:38:35,346 --> 00:38:37,649 >> Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "LATE NIGHT. 798 00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:39,377 ♪ ♪ 799 00:38:50,929 --> 00:38:52,797 >> Announcer: FOR MORE "LATE NIGHT," GO TO 800 00:38:52,797 --> 00:38:54,232 LATENIGHTSETH.COM. FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM AND 801 00:38:54,232 --> 00:38:55,767 TWITTER @LATENIGHTSETH AND BE SURE TO CHECK US OUT ON 802 00:38:55,767 --> 00:38:58,269 YOUTUBE AND FACEBOOK HEAD OVER TO iTUNES TO SUBSCRIBE 803 00:38:58,269 --> 00:39:00,271 TO THE "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS" PODCAST. 804 00:39:00,271 --> 00:39:02,540 YOU'LL GET "A CLOSER LOOK" AND MORE DOWNLOADED RIGHT TO YOUR 805 00:39:02,540 --> 00:39:03,287 PHONE. 806 00:39:11,983 --> 00:39:21,426 >> Seth: I WANT TO THANK MY 807 00:39:21,426 --> 00:39:23,061 GUESTS DAVID SCHWIMMER AND ROBIN THEDE. 808 00:39:23,061 --> 00:39:24,362 I WANT TO THANK FRED ARMISEN AND THE 8G BAND. 809 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:25,897 STAY TUNED FOR "LILLY SINGH. STAY SAFE. 810 00:39:25,897 --> 00:39:28,333 WASH YOUR HANDS. WEAR A MASK. 811 00:39:28,333 --> 00:39:30,501 WE LOVE YOU. ♪ 812 00:39:30,501 --> 00:40:54,819 ♪ 73375

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