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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,401 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:07,939 Here you go. Uh, utensils and napkins are in the bag. 3 00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:09,174 Thank you. 4 00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:13,378 Tuna melt, that's Yung. 5 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:16,113 Hawaiian burger for you, Mr. Bird. 6 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,919 Mr. Bird? 7 00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:21,791 That's not your name? It's something Bird, right? 8 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,592 Hold up, where the (BLEEP) is my food? 9 00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:25,463 Did they forget my three-meat plate? 10 00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:27,792 I can't not have my three-meat plate. 11 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,998 It's a special. They don't always have it. 12 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,060 And you don't know what the three meats are. 13 00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,429 And that's what makes it great. 14 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,797 What if today was chicken, beef and penguin? 15 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,666 Or penguin, beef and caribou? 16 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,944 Or just beef, caribou, penguin, and one more? 17 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:43,844 And now I'll never know because they forgot my three-meat plate. 18 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,747 Well, run outside. Maybe you can still catch the guy. 19 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,280 Sir! Sir! Hey, hold up. 20 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,819 (TIRES SCREECHING) 21 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,058 (HORN BLARING) 22 00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:07,695 (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE) 23 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,612 I couldn't catch him, but it's okay. I'll just have cereal. 24 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,642 Hey, hey, hey, everybody! You got a new mystery. 25 00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:20,648 Oh, damn. You ordered from Ted's Grill! 26 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,180 Did you guys get my usual, the five-fish platter? 27 00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,576 We did not order anything for you, 28 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,519 because no one thought about you. 29 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,524 Now, give me that mystery. 30 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:32,186 "Dear Mike Tyson Mystery team, 31 00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,085 "I am seven-and-a-half years old. 32 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:37,857 "I made a wish on an eyelash and it didn't come true." Ha! 33 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,468 "Please help, Margaret Moses." 34 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,300 Huh. Go (BLEEP) yourself, Margaret Moses. 35 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:46,466 Who's Margaret Moses, and why is she gonna (BLEEP) herself? 36 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,536 They forgot the pineapple! 37 00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:52,135 That's what makes it a (BLEEP) Hawaiian burger! 38 00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:53,909 No, she's a sweet little girl 39 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,277 who thinks if you make a wish on an eyelash, it'll come true. 40 00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,076 She's right. It works for me every single time. 41 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,289 That's how come all of you are here. 42 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,990 -What? -Yeah. One day I had 43 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,662 an eyelash come out and I wished for an Asian baby. 44 00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:06,761 Next day, Yung was on my doorstep. 45 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:10,363 Then another eyelash came out and I wished for a live-in maid. 46 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:13,427 And the next day, poof, I got Marquess. 47 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:16,026 A few weeks later, another eyelash came out, 48 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:19,069 I wished to meet my favorite Looney Tunes character, 49 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,635 Tweety bird, and here is Tweety bird. 50 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,675 Oh, I knew it was something-bird, it's Tweety bird. 51 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:27,611 Now, let's go help little Margaret Moses get her wish. 52 00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,281 (FLIES BUZZING) 53 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,547 Ugh. I bet poor little Margaret's wish 54 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,316 was get the hell out of this shithole... 55 00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:37,224 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Oh! Hi. 56 00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:40,957 Oh, we were just admiring your home! 57 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,734 Yeah! Oh, this home is... 58 00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:45,332 Oh, it's... Oh, it's so, it's... 59 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,865 Well, it's you know, it is, um, well, it's just absolute... 60 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,772 All these wires, 61 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,344 and the trash, 62 00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:55,272 the tires, oh. Mmm-hmm. 63 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:56,808 Yeah, this is so... 64 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,943 Ugh. Quit wasting everyone's time, Margaret. 65 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,179 -Tell them what you wished for. -I can't. 66 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,684 You told me if you say your wish, it won't come true. 67 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,117 I probably just you told that to shut you up! 68 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:08,952 Look, if wishes came true, you think I'd be living in this hellhole? 69 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,459 You know how many times I wished I was a singer, 70 00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,631 and everyone knew my songs, and knew who I was, 71 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,990 and that I mattered in this world? 72 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,898 Uh-oh. You just said your wish out loud. 73 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,931 Now your wish will never come true. 74 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:22,826 You'll be stuck here forever doing whatever job is your job. 75 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,708 Oh. Uh... 76 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:29,540 It's fine, come on in. You can head on back to the bedroom. 77 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:30,836 I'll be there in a second. 78 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,979 (SNIFFLES) If you'll excuse me, I have a client. 79 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:42,349 Margaret, there's chicken nuggets in the freezer if you're hungry. 80 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,532 Oh, the mom is a trailer park whore. 81 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,130 That old situation. 82 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:52,302 Pigeon! Don't worry, Margaret. It's all gonna be okay. 83 00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:56,132 I promise you, we will make sure your wish comes true. 84 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,299 Marquess, don't promise her that. 85 00:03:58,338 --> 00:03:59,938 We don't even know what she wished for. 86 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,273 We don't need to know. 87 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,138 We just need to go to the Wishing Well. 88 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,106 -The Wishing Well? -Yes. 89 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,005 The Wishing Well in Fantasy Forest. 90 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:10,577 It's hard to find because it's hidden by the Bountiful Bush. 91 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,077 -Hey, those are for me! -Oh, really? 92 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:15,749 Is that why it says Tyson chicken nuggets? 93 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:19,559 If it said Margaret Moses chicken nuggets, I wouldn't be eating them. 94 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:23,262 But I probably would because all I had today was a bowl of cereal. 95 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,765 -Marquess, slow down! -I can't. 96 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,974 The only way to get to Fantasy Forest is 97 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,306 to be going 100 miles an hour on a lonely highway 98 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:38,383 when the clock strikes midnight. 99 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:44,717 (GASPS) 100 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,493 That's not possible! It's midnight. 101 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:54,355 We were going 100 miles an hour 102 00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,264 on a lonely highway at midnight. 103 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,426 Oh, no. That clock is wrong. It's still on daylight savings time. 104 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,796 I just don't know how to change it. 105 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,504 -So, it's 11:00? -It's probably around 10:40, 106 00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:06,196 10:43, 10:50, something, 107 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,009 because the very first time I was setting it, I was like, 108 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,882 "Yung, what's the exact time right now?" 109 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:14,350 And she was like, "2:38." Then I started setting it. 110 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,411 You had to press that button so many times. 111 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,879 Then I finally get to 2:38, 112 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,087 but I'm on a.m. and I'm trying to get on p.m. 113 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,590 So, by the time I got the right 2:38 on there, 114 00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,562 it was around 2:50 or some shit. 115 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,861 (YAWNS) I'm gonna take a nap for a bit. 116 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:31,034 I ate too many of the delicious Tyson chicken nuggets. 117 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:36,936 (SIGHS) Well, looks like we have some time to kill. 118 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,240 Anyone have any ideas? 119 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,571 -BOTH: Well, why don't you... -Oh. (CHUCKLES) 120 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:41,967 No, I'm sorry. What were you going to say? 121 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,778 -No, no. I'm sorry. You go. -No, please. 122 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:47,651 I was gonna say, "Why don't you tell us about the Wishing Well?" 123 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,320 Interesting, how different people are. 124 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:54,090 I was gonna say, "Why don't you drive back to that trailer park, 125 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,450 "so I can (BLEEP) that whore?" 126 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,218 -(YUNG SIGHS) -But, fair is fair. 127 00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,587 I said you go first. 128 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,555 So, let's hear about this Wishing Well. 129 00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:03,403 Okay. They tell you when you first die. Not the first thing, 130 00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:06,130 but after you've been there for a little bit. You know, like a day. 131 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,896 They send you to this seminar. It's called "Secrets of the universe." 132 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:11,065 It sounds more exciting than it is, believe me. 133 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,774 And you can't have any food or drink in there, unless it's water. 134 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:17,677 And it's like, "(BLEEP) me! I just died. I want a (BLEEP) Diet Coke." 135 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,380 Ugh, anyway. You learn about time, you know. 136 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,813 It goes backwards and forwards, and this way and that way. 137 00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,749 And you're like, "Really? Because right now, 138 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:27,354 "it doesn't feel like it's moving at all, because I have to piss, 139 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,817 "because all I've been doing is drinking (BLEEP) water." (CHUCKLES) 140 00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:33,286 Anyway, God is just up there, yabbering, 141 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,156 and, oh, my God, he loves the sound of his voice. 142 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,626 And yes, God is a man. 143 00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,204 I'm sorry, what about the Wishing Well? 144 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,802 Hmm? Oh, yeah. Right, okay. 145 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,204 So, all wishes are sent to the Wishing Well, 146 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,166 but, you must remember that not all wishes should be granted. 147 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,806 Some people wish for some terrible things, 148 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,012 you know, to happen to other people. 149 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,243 Oh, yeah. I do that all the time. 150 00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:56,508 Like, right now, I'm wishing that car coming the opposite way 151 00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:59,979 would swerve in our lane, and kill the driver. 152 00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:01,989 Oh, my God! You don't even know that person. 153 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:03,861 No, I'm talking about the driver in this car. 154 00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:07,590 (BLEEP) you. Okay. So, the bad wishes get caught 155 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,387 in the branches of the Bountiful Bush. 156 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,929 So, you think Margaret wished for something bad to happen 157 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,596 and that's why it didn't come true? 158 00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,134 Okay, no. Unfortunately, 159 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,369 even some good wishes get caught in the Bush, 160 00:07:18,404 --> 00:07:21,344 which is why it needs to be trimmed occasionally. 161 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,544 You know, groomed. 162 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,675 Okay. What time is it now? 163 00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:27,611 Ugh. Your father set this clock completely wrong. 164 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,477 It's only 9:42. 165 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,146 Well, let's just pull over and wait. 166 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,894 PIGEON: We're still not gonna go back to the trailer park? 167 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,990 You get me all hot and bothered 168 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,422 with all this bush-trimming talk, 169 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,888 and now you want to just sit by the side of the road? 170 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:44,628 What am I supposed to do with this massive erection? 171 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:45,904 I don't see anything. 172 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:48,532 That's because it's inside my body, 173 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:49,928 because I'm a bird. 174 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,439 I don't see your tits. What's your excuse? 175 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,512 Oh, that's right. You've got the body of an 11-year-old boy. 176 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:58,642 Well, (BLEEP) you, you-don't-see-anything! 177 00:07:58,678 --> 00:07:59,908 Let's just rest. 178 00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,876 We have a big night ahead of us. 179 00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:06,524 (YAWNS) 180 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:15,231 ♪ Good morning to you Good morning to you ♪ 181 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:19,031 ♪ This morning was made For angels like you ♪ 182 00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,695 (GASPS) Oh, no! 183 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:23,473 We all fell asleep! We missed midnight. 184 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,743 There'll be another one, Marquess. 185 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,541 We just got to wait here together, 186 00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,413 here in this enclosed vehicle 187 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,581 for many, many consecutive hours. 188 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:34,011 Okay. Everybody, it's 11:59. 189 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,247 -Buckle up. -(ENGINE STARTS UP) 190 00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:47,328 (POLICE SIREN WAILING) 191 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:51,000 Are you serious? Are you mother-(BLEEP) serious? 192 00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,982 (BUZZING) 193 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,790 (ALL SCREAMING) 194 00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:23,159 (GASPS) There! The Bountiful Bush! 195 00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:28,102 Let's find Margaret's wish! 196 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,904 "My wish is that all the Jews..." 197 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,969 Oh, my God! Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm. 198 00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,243 I found it. 199 00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:41,007 "Margaret Moses, age seven-and-a-half. 200 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:42,877 "I wish that my dad would come home 201 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,515 "so we could be a family again." 202 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,520 Aw. Okay. So, how do we get it into the Wishing Well? 203 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:49,123 We have to trim the bush. 204 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,230 There you go, little Margaret Moses. 205 00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,060 It came true! My wish came true! 206 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,269 All right, Margaret. Get on out of here and go play. 207 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,671 I want some alone time with Moms. 208 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,135 Okay. While I was in the joint, 209 00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,676 I got a new meth recipe. Turn on the stove. 210 00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:13,912 Where'd you put all the chemicals? 211 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,106 They're under the sink, dumbass. 212 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,154 Now, let's go (BLEEP) while it cooks. 213 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:37,869 DEER: Hello, little Margaret. 214 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,904 Little Margaret, you've lost your parents, 215 00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,539 and we recently lost our child. 216 00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:46,584 Come, let us be a family together in Fantasy Forest. 217 00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:48,882 -MARGARET: Whoa! -(BOTH LAUGH) 218 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,305 -DEER: Oh, hold tight! -MARGARET: Whoa! 219 00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:53,079 (BOTH LAUGHING) 220 00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:54,919 DEER: Now, let's go meet the talking trees! 221 00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:56,454 MARGARET: Oh! 222 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,189 DEER: They're over by the babbling brook. 223 00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,064 MARGARET: Yay! 224 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:02,062 DEER: (LAUGHING) Wonderful. 225 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,296 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 17868

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