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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,401
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:07,939
Here you go.
Uh, utensils and napkins
are in the bag.
3
00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:09,174
Thank you.
4
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:13,378
Tuna melt, that's Yung.
5
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:16,113
Hawaiian burger
for you, Mr. Bird.
6
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,919
Mr. Bird?
7
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:21,791
That's not your name?
It's something Bird, right?
8
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,592
Hold up, where the (BLEEP)
is my food?
9
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:25,463
Did they forget
my three-meat plate?
10
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:27,792
I can't not have
my three-meat plate.
11
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,998
It's a special.
They don't always have it.
12
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,060
And you don't know
what the three meats are.
13
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,429
And that's what
makes it great.
14
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,797
What if today was chicken,
beef and penguin?
15
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,666
Or penguin, beef and caribou?
16
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,944
Or just beef, caribou,
penguin, and one more?
17
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:43,844
And now I'll never know
because they forgot
my three-meat plate.
18
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,747
Well, run outside.
Maybe you can still
catch the guy.
19
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,280
Sir! Sir! Hey, hold up.
20
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,819
(TIRES SCREECHING)
21
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,058
(HORN BLARING)
22
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:07,695
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
23
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,612
I couldn't catch him,
but it's okay.
I'll just have cereal.
24
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,642
Hey, hey, hey, everybody!
You got a new mystery.
25
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:20,648
Oh, damn.
You ordered from Ted's Grill!
26
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,180
Did you guys get my usual,
the five-fish platter?
27
00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,576
We did not
order anything for you,
28
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,519
because no one
thought about you.
29
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,524
Now, give me that mystery.
30
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:32,186
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery team,
31
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,085
"I am seven-and-a-half
years old.
32
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:37,857
"I made a wish on an eyelash
and it didn't come true." Ha!
33
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,468
"Please help, Margaret Moses."
34
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,300
Huh. Go (BLEEP) yourself,
Margaret Moses.
35
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:46,466
Who's Margaret Moses,
and why is she gonna
(BLEEP) herself?
36
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,536
They forgot the pineapple!
37
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:52,135
That's what makes
it a (BLEEP) Hawaiian burger!
38
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:53,909
No, she's a sweet little girl
39
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,277
who thinks if you make
a wish on an eyelash,
it'll come true.
40
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,076
She's right. It works for me
every single time.
41
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,289
That's how come
all of you are here.
42
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,990
-What?
-Yeah. One day I had
43
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,662
an eyelash come out
and I wished for
an Asian baby.
44
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:06,761
Next day,
Yung was on my doorstep.
45
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:10,363
Then another eyelash
came out and I wished for
a live-in maid.
46
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:13,427
And the next day,
poof, I got Marquess.
47
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:16,026
A few weeks later,
another eyelash came out,
48
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:19,069
I wished to meet my favorite
Looney Tunes character,
49
00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,635
Tweety bird,
and here is Tweety bird.
50
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,675
Oh, I knew it was
something-bird,
it's Tweety bird.
51
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:27,611
Now, let's go help
little Margaret Moses
get her wish.
52
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,281
(FLIES BUZZING)
53
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,547
Ugh. I bet
poor little Margaret's wish
54
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,316
was get the hell out of
this shithole...
55
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:37,224
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Oh! Hi.
56
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:40,957
Oh, we were just
admiring your home!
57
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,734
Yeah! Oh, this home is...
58
00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:45,332
Oh, it's...
Oh, it's so, it's...
59
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,865
Well, it's you know,
it is, um, well,
it's just absolute...
60
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,772
All these wires,
61
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,344
and the trash,
62
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:55,272
the tires, oh. Mmm-hmm.
63
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:56,808
Yeah, this is so...
64
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,943
Ugh. Quit wasting
everyone's time, Margaret.
65
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,179
-Tell them
what you wished for.
-I can't.
66
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,684
You told me
if you say your wish,
it won't come true.
67
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,117
I probably just you told that
to shut you up!
68
00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:08,952
Look, if wishes came true,
you think I'd be living
in this hellhole?
69
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,459
You know how many times
I wished I was a singer,
70
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,631
and everyone knew my songs,
and knew who I was,
71
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,990
and that I mattered
in this world?
72
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,898
Uh-oh. You just said
your wish out loud.
73
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,931
Now your wish
will never come true.
74
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:22,826
You'll be stuck here forever
doing whatever job
is your job.
75
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,708
Oh. Uh...
76
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:29,540
It's fine, come on in.
You can head on back
to the bedroom.
77
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:30,836
I'll be there in a second.
78
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,979
(SNIFFLES) If you'll
excuse me, I have a client.
79
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:42,349
Margaret, there's
chicken nuggets in the freezer
if you're hungry.
80
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,532
Oh, the mom
is a trailer park whore.
81
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,130
That old situation.
82
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:52,302
Pigeon! Don't worry, Margaret.
It's all gonna be okay.
83
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:56,132
I promise you,
we will make sure
your wish comes true.
84
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,299
Marquess, don't
promise her that.
85
00:03:58,338 --> 00:03:59,938
We don't even know
what she wished for.
86
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,273
We don't need to know.
87
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,138
We just need to go
to the Wishing Well.
88
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,106
-The Wishing Well?
-Yes.
89
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,005
The Wishing Well
in Fantasy Forest.
90
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:10,577
It's hard to find
because it's hidden
by the Bountiful Bush.
91
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,077
-Hey, those are for me!
-Oh, really?
92
00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:15,749
Is that why it says
Tyson chicken nuggets?
93
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:19,559
If it said Margaret Moses
chicken nuggets,
I wouldn't be eating them.
94
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:23,262
But I probably would
because all I had today
was a bowl of cereal.
95
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,765
-Marquess, slow down!
-I can't.
96
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,974
The only way
to get to Fantasy Forest is
97
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,306
to be going 100 miles an hour
on a lonely highway
98
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:38,383
when the clock
strikes midnight.
99
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:44,717
(GASPS)
100
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,493
That's not possible!
It's midnight.
101
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:54,355
We were going
100 miles an hour
102
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,264
on a lonely highway
at midnight.
103
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,426
Oh, no. That clock is wrong.
It's still on
daylight savings time.
104
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,796
I just don't know
how to change it.
105
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,504
-So, it's 11:00?
-It's probably around 10:40,
106
00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:06,196
10:43, 10:50, something,
107
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,009
because the very first time
I was setting it, I was like,
108
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,882
"Yung, what's the exact time
right now?"
109
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:14,350
And she was like, "2:38."
Then I started setting it.
110
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,411
You had to press
that button so many times.
111
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,879
Then I finally get to 2:38,
112
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,087
but I'm on a.m.
and I'm trying to get on p.m.
113
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,590
So, by the time
I got the right 2:38 on there,
114
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,562
it was around 2:50
or some shit.
115
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,861
(YAWNS) I'm gonna
take a nap for a bit.
116
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:31,034
I ate too many
of the delicious
Tyson chicken nuggets.
117
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:36,936
(SIGHS) Well, looks like
we have some time to kill.
118
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,240
Anyone have any ideas?
119
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,571
-BOTH: Well, why don't you...
-Oh. (CHUCKLES)
120
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:41,967
No, I'm sorry.
What were you going to say?
121
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,778
-No, no. I'm sorry. You go.
-No, please.
122
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:47,651
I was gonna say,
"Why don't you tell us
about the Wishing Well?"
123
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,320
Interesting, how different
people are.
124
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:54,090
I was gonna say,
"Why don't you drive back
to that trailer park,
125
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,450
"so I can (BLEEP) that whore?"
126
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,218
-(YUNG SIGHS)
-But, fair is fair.
127
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,587
I said you go first.
128
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,555
So, let's hear about
this Wishing Well.
129
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:03,403
Okay. They tell you
when you first die.
Not the first thing,
130
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:06,130
but after you've been there
for a little bit.
You know, like a day.
131
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,896
They send you
to this seminar. It's called
"Secrets of the universe."
132
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:11,065
It sounds more exciting
than it is, believe me.
133
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,774
And you can't have any food
or drink in there,
unless it's water.
134
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:17,677
And it's like, "(BLEEP) me!
I just died.
I want a (BLEEP) Diet Coke."
135
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,380
Ugh, anyway. You learn
about time, you know.
136
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,813
It goes backwards
and forwards, and this way
and that way.
137
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,749
And you're like, "Really?
Because right now,
138
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:27,354
"it doesn't feel like
it's moving at all,
because I have to piss,
139
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,817
"because all I've been doing
is drinking (BLEEP)
water." (CHUCKLES)
140
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:33,286
Anyway, God is
just up there, yabbering,
141
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,156
and, oh, my God, he loves
the sound of his voice.
142
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,626
And yes, God is a man.
143
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,204
I'm sorry,
what about the Wishing Well?
144
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,802
Hmm? Oh, yeah. Right, okay.
145
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,204
So, all wishes
are sent to the Wishing Well,
146
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,166
but, you must remember
that not all wishes
should be granted.
147
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,806
Some people wish
for some terrible things,
148
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,012
you know,
to happen to other people.
149
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,243
Oh, yeah.
I do that all the time.
150
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:56,508
Like, right now,
I'm wishing that car
coming the opposite way
151
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:59,979
would swerve in our lane,
and kill the driver.
152
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:01,989
Oh, my God! You don't even
know that person.
153
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:03,861
No, I'm talking about
the driver in this car.
154
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:07,590
(BLEEP) you. Okay.
So, the bad wishes get caught
155
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,387
in the branches
of the Bountiful Bush.
156
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,929
So, you think Margaret
wished for something
bad to happen
157
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,596
and that's why
it didn't come true?
158
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,134
Okay, no. Unfortunately,
159
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,369
even some good wishes
get caught in the Bush,
160
00:07:18,404 --> 00:07:21,344
which is why it needs to be
trimmed occasionally.
161
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,544
You know, groomed.
162
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,675
Okay. What time is it now?
163
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:27,611
Ugh. Your father
set this clock
completely wrong.
164
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,477
It's only 9:42.
165
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,146
Well, let's just
pull over and wait.
166
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,894
PIGEON: We're still not gonna
go back to the trailer park?
167
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,990
You get me
all hot and bothered
168
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,422
with all this
bush-trimming talk,
169
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,888
and now you want to
just sit by the side
of the road?
170
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:44,628
What am I supposed to do
with this massive erection?
171
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:45,904
I don't see anything.
172
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:48,532
That's because
it's inside my body,
173
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:49,928
because I'm a bird.
174
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,439
I don't see your tits.
What's your excuse?
175
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,512
Oh, that's right.
You've got the body
of an 11-year-old boy.
176
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:58,642
Well, (BLEEP) you,
you-don't-see-anything!
177
00:07:58,678 --> 00:07:59,908
Let's just rest.
178
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,876
We have a big night
ahead of us.
179
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:06,524
(YAWNS)
180
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:15,231
♪ Good morning to youGood morning to you ♪
181
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:19,031
♪ This morning was madeFor angels like you ♪
182
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,695
(GASPS) Oh, no!
183
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:23,473
We all fell asleep!
We missed midnight.
184
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,743
There'll be
another one, Marquess.
185
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,541
We just got to
wait here together,
186
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,413
here in this enclosed vehicle
187
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,581
for many, many
consecutive hours.
188
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:34,011
Okay. Everybody, it's 11:59.
189
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,247
-Buckle up.
-(ENGINE STARTS UP)
190
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:47,328
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
191
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:51,000
Are you serious? Are you
mother-(BLEEP) serious?
192
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,982
(BUZZING)
193
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,790
(ALL SCREAMING)
194
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:23,159
(GASPS) There!
The Bountiful Bush!
195
00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:28,102
Let's find Margaret's wish!
196
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,904
"My wish is
that all the Jews..."
197
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,969
Oh, my God!
Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm.
198
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,243
I found it.
199
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:41,007
"Margaret Moses,
age seven-and-a-half.
200
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:42,877
"I wish that my dad
would come home
201
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,515
"so we could be
a family again."
202
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,520
Aw. Okay. So, how do we get it
into the Wishing Well?
203
00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:49,123
We have to trim the bush.
204
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,230
There you go,
little Margaret Moses.
205
00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,060
It came true!
My wish came true!
206
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,269
All right, Margaret.
Get on out of here
and go play.
207
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,671
I want some alone time
with Moms.
208
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,135
Okay. While I was
in the joint,
209
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,676
I got a new meth recipe.
Turn on the stove.
210
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:13,912
Where'd you put
all the chemicals?
211
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,106
They're under
the sink, dumbass.
212
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,154
Now, let's go (BLEEP)
while it cooks.
213
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:37,869
DEER: Hello, little Margaret.
214
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,904
Little Margaret,
you've lost your parents,
215
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,539
and we recently
lost our child.
216
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:46,584
Come, let us be
a family together
in Fantasy Forest.
217
00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:48,882
-MARGARET: Whoa!
-(BOTH LAUGH)
218
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,305
-DEER: Oh, hold tight!
-MARGARET: Whoa!
219
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:53,079
(BOTH LAUGHING)
220
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:54,919
DEER: Now, let's go meetthe talking trees!
221
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:56,454
MARGARET: Oh!
222
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,189
DEER: They're over bythe babbling brook.
223
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,064
MARGARET: Yay!
224
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:02,062
DEER: (LAUGHING) Wonderful.
225
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,296
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
17868
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