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1
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,648
Can I help you?
2
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,259
Ah? Oh, yeah, hey, yeah.
Sure, maybe.
3
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,292
Uh, I think I'm late
for a meeting?
4
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:28,887
Uh, with who?
5
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,699
Uh, I don't know.
6
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,570
I think it was supposed
to start at 10:00.
7
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,500
Well, what's your name, sir?
8
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,595
Richard.
It's not gonna be on there.
9
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:41,037
Look, I'm with the, uh,
Mike Tyson Mystery Squad.
10
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:44,744
Or Mystery...
Mystery Group. Something.
I don't know what it's called.
11
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:49,713
What? I don't know why
you're looking at me
like that. It's Mike Tyson,
12
00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:51,619
one of the world's
most famous people.
13
00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:53,391
He's got a tattoo on his face.
14
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,890
Any of this
ringing a bell, doll?
15
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:59,362
The Mike Tyson Mystery Team
is meeting with
Jonathan Bowman,
16
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,862
and his office
is just down that way.
17
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,755
Mystery Team, you're right.
Thank you.
18
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,469
Good morning.
19
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,767
So, what are some of
the other properties
going for?
20
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,067
(SCOFFS)
Nice of you to join us.
21
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:19,609
-Where were you?
-None of your (BLEEP)
business, that's where I was.
22
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:23,276
Okay, well, let me look
at the numbers and I'll get
back to you. Take care.
23
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,076
Okay. Sorry about that.
I was saying,
24
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:28,088
my wife is turning 42
and I don't know
what to get her.
25
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,361
I'd really like it to be
something special,
because I work nonstop
26
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:33,691
and she's at home all day
with our four kids.
27
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,697
Four kids, huh?
Hey, I know what you
can get her!
28
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,760
Vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
29
00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:39,828
-Pigeon!
-What?
30
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,696
I'm hearing great things
about it these days.
31
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,665
They do it with a laser,
it's outpatient.
32
00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:46,713
-You're back on your back
in no time.
-Anyway, thank you.
33
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,310
Okay. So, what does she like?
34
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,812
I always just get her
a gift card.
35
00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:52,511
Ugh.
36
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,846
Marquess does not like
these gift cards.
37
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,421
He finds them very impersonal.
I learned that the hard way.
38
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:01,450
Well, it's like you
just gave up. You just
gave up on friendship.
39
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:02,788
When's her birthday?
40
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,922
-Tomorrow.
-MARQUESS: Tomorrow?
41
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,488
I know.
I'm horrible with this stuff.
Do you think you can help me?
42
00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:12,458
Well, it's not technically
a mystery. But, we'll do it.
43
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,529
-For $800.
-(EXCLAIMS)
44
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:17,038
Uh, wow. Uh, okay?
45
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,640
Who do I make it out to?
46
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,512
The Mike Tyson Mystery Gang.
Wait. No.
47
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,341
Um, the Mike Tyson
Mystery Bunch.
48
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:26,006
No, no, no, wait.
What do we call ourselves?
49
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,050
$800?
50
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,982
What? We never charge
for these things.
51
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,517
Man, Deezy always says
we're leaving money
on the table.
52
00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:37,423
Man, I mean... These people,
man, we're dealing with.
Desperate, man.
53
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,687
I bet I could've got $1000
out of that guy.
54
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,726
(STAMMERING)
Turn right up here.
55
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:43,401
Where are we going, Marquess?
56
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,570
Don't judge a book.
It's a little hidden gem
of an antique store.
57
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,970
My friend, Maxine,
is the owner.
58
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,871
Trust me, she'll have
the perfect gift.
59
00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:54,008
You're gonna love this place.
60
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,281
Hello! (LAUGHS)
61
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,840
(GASPS) Oh, oh!
62
00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:02,509
(MARQUESS AND MAXINE
LAUGHING)
63
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,549
Is that who I think it is?
64
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,154
-Yes!
-(MAXINE SHRIEKING)
65
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,816
My God!
66
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,924
Marquess, I was just
thinking about you.
67
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,456
Because I just got back from
a buying trip to Sedona,
68
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:13,862
and while I was there,
69
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,733
-I found these salad tongs.
-MARQUESS: Mmm.
70
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:19,262
And, you will die.
I mean, have you ever?
71
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,329
(GASPS) They're so fun!
72
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:24,698
They're exactly what you want
when you're having friends
over, summer night,
73
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:27,008
out on the patio,
just light stuff,
maybe ceviche,
74
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,070
and just a perfect
summer salad. (GASPS)
75
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,479
I have to have them.
76
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,040
(GASPS) No, what am I doing?
What am I doing!
77
00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:34,648
(CHUCKLES) No, we're not
here for me. Shame! Maxi,
78
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:38,451
we are on a mission to find
a birthday present
for a 42-year-old woman.
79
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:41,245
(GASPS) How fun.
Okay, so what could we do?
80
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:45,018
Hmm. Let's see, let's see,
let's see, let's see, let's...
81
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,128
Okay, we could do jewelry.
82
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,930
I have a sublime cameo
necklace. Oh, God.
83
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,563
But, maybe that's
too something.
84
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,068
Okay. Does she, uh,
does she drink tea?
85
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:58,740
I have a darling
silver spoon set that needs
just the right home.
86
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:03,382
And that home is my home.
(CACKLES)
87
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,440
What about an antique photo?
88
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:07,078
(MAXINE AND MARQUESS
EXCLAIMING)
89
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:08,807
Ooh.
90
00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:11,616
(DOOR CHIMES)
91
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,650
-Now where were you?
-Making a call.
92
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:19,689
-Well, who were you calling?
-Jesus Christ, you're a nosy
(BLEEP) bitch.
93
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,786
What the hell are we all
doing in this dump, anyway?
94
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:23,832
(GASPS)
95
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,765
I'm sorry, Maxi, we have
to go. Let's go.
96
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:32,243
You know, let me just get
those salad tongs.
97
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,842
Oh! And that little spoon set.
Ah, and I should at least
try on the cameo necklace.
98
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:39,277
Mmm.
99
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:41,212
-(GRUNTING)
-What happened back there,
Marquess?
100
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,517
What was it about
that photograph?
Who were those men?
101
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,050
I don't wanna talk about it.
102
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,745
I never want to think about,
or see that photo again.
103
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,717
Marquess, I got
a surprise for you!
104
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,215
Ta-da!
105
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:55,289
(GASPS)
106
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:58,858
You seemed to respond
to this photo, but then
gasped when you saw the price.
107
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:00,828
-(MARQUESS EXCLAIMS)
-But you're a dear friend,
108
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:04,297
and we just got this $800,
so, when I said I was going
back in the shop
109
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:08,167
to use the bathroom,
what I was really doing
was buying this photo.
110
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,078
But, I also did take a shit
in Maxine's bathroom.
111
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,052
Marquess, who are
those people?
112
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,880
(SIGHS) Well, the man
on the right is the poet
Oscar Wilde,
113
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,288
and the other is... Is my son.
114
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,651
-(SPLUTTERS)
-(YELPS)
115
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,989
What? Did you just...
You say, your son?
116
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:28,264
Yes! My son, Alfred.
My wife called him Bosie.
117
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:31,204
(PIGEON SPLUTTERS)
I'm sorry, did you say
your wife?
118
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,731
Stop spitting on me, Pigeon!
119
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,096
Well, stop saying shocking
things while I'm drinking.
120
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:38,895
"In February of 1895, Marquess
of Queensbury..." That's you.
121
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:41,938
"Discovered the homosexual
affair between Oscar Wilde
122
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,875
"and his son,
Alfred 'Bosie' Douglas.
123
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:48,711
"After a drawn-out
legal battle,
Queensbury prevailed
124
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:51,418
"and Oscar Wilde served
two years hard labor."
125
00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:54,891
So, you had Oscar Wilde
sent to jail for being
your son's boyfriend?
126
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,861
Damn, Marquess,
you're an asshole.
127
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,590
(STAMMERING)
It was a different time.
128
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,256
People weren't as accepting
back then.
129
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:03,404
-What happened to your son?
-I don't know.
130
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:07,370
We never spoke after that.
It... It haunted me until
the day I died.
131
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,630
MIKE: Of syphilis.
132
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,338
-(PIGEON SPLUTTERING)
-(GRUMBLING)
133
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,440
It's true, it's on here.
134
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,642
"He expired after a lengthy
battle with dementia,
likely caused by syphilis."
135
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:16,975
(MARQUESS GROANS)
136
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,010
(MURMURING)
137
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:24,222
Bosie.
138
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,691
(WHIMPERS)
139
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,215
This better be (BLEEP)
important, Marquess.
140
00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:33,187
It is very (BLEEP) important.
141
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,556
God damn, Marquess,
don't swear in front of
my daughter.
142
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:40,195
All right, listen.
After a lot of thought,
I've decided to use
143
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,003
-my go-back.
-Oh. What's a go-back?
144
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,966
All ghosts are allowed
one go-back,
145
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:47,644
where they can go back in time
and right a wrong.
146
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:51,344
But, you only get one.
So, I was saving mine,
you know, for something big,
147
00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:53,947
like, um, you know,
go back in time
and kill Hitler.
148
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:56,380
You know, before he
really got going.
149
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,546
You would not have the balls
to kill Hitler.
150
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,016
(EXCLAIMS) Hitler?
Yes. Yes, I would.
151
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,515
Ah, really?
How would you do it?
152
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,956
With a gun! Or... Something.
153
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,032
You don't know how
to shoot a (BLEEP) gun.
154
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:10,431
Well, then! Ah! I'll hit him.
With a shovel.
155
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:13,163
Where would you get a shovel
and be near Hitler?
156
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:15,629
Pigeon! It doesn't matter.
Because that's not
gonna happen,
157
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:17,398
because I'm not gonna use
my go-back for it.
158
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:21,207
I'm gonna use my go-back
and make amends with my son,
Bosie.
159
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:24,711
Why don't you
go back a little further
and not name him Bosie?
160
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:28,914
Are you done? Are you
seriously, seriously done?
161
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,778
Now, here's the fun thing
about a go-back.
162
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:36,488
Although you only get one,
you can take as many people
as you want with you.
163
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,423
Living, dead, it doesn't
matter. Now.
164
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,788
Oh, wait. Now that I think
about it, I think you can
only take five.
165
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:44,327
I think five is the max.
But, ah! There's only three
of you, so we're good. So.
166
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:47,034
Here's what you do.
We all stand in a circle.
167
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:50,196
And then I say,
"Go back, go back,
let's go back."
168
00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:53,266
And then you say,
"Okay, okay, okay, okay."
169
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,806
Oh, my God.
170
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,880
(CHURCH BELLS TOLLING)
171
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,884
(GASPS) Oh, my God.
That's his house.
172
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:08,747
You got this, Marquess.
Don't worry about us. We'll be
here, just blending in.
173
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,898
Tip, tip, cheerio.
174
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,630
Top o' the morning
to ya, governor.
175
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,803
Oh, Bosie.
176
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,508
What are you
doing here, Father?
177
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:32,180
Oh, yes. Well, I want
to apologize to you.
For everything.
178
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:36,181
I'm sorry. And, I love you.
And, I'm sorry.
179
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,675
Oh, and I love that scarf.
Is that J. Crew?
180
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,618
-What?
-What? Nothing.
181
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:43,093
The important thing is,
I'm sorry.
182
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:48,531
Well. That means
the world to me.
183
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,231
(SOBBING) Oh. Oh!
184
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,864
Oh, Father.
185
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:55,369
-OSCAR: Bosie, darling?
Who's there?
-Hmm?
186
00:08:56,769 --> 00:09:00,639
(GASPS) Oh. Oscar.
Uh, you're looking well.
187
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,873
You've lost some weight.
188
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,679
Doing hard labor in prison,
thanks to you.
189
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,382
Ah. (LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)
190
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:11,775
Oh, Deezy, I can't,
I'm in London right now.
191
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,288
Why don't you get your sister
to pick you up?
192
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,690
Then get a taxi! Damn, Deezy,
you can't wait until you land
193
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,024
-to figure out
your (BLEEP) ride?
-(PHONE BEEPS)
194
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,389
I did it! (LAUGHS)
He was very happy.
195
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:25,758
I even apologized
to Oscar Wilde!
So, conscience clean.
196
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,828
Successful go-back.
197
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:31,397
Ah, forgive me, but we're
visiting from Germany
and my husband is in there.
198
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:34,637
Will you watch my baby
while I go get him?
199
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,844
-Yeah, no problem.
-Ah, thank you.
200
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,176
What is your name?
201
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,781
-Mike Tyson.
-I am Klara Hitler,
202
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:44,723
-and this is my baby, Adolf.
-(GASPS)
203
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:50,161
Oy, you lot! Mind this shovel
while I go in there
and have a piss.
204
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,457
(GRUMBLES)
205
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,359
(BABY ADOLF COOING)
206
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,703
No, I don't... Uh...
207
00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,671
(GROANS)
208
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:03,130
MARQUESS: Present day,present day, what do you say,present day!
209
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:06,339
PIGEON AND YUNG:
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
210
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:07,742
Whoo! Wasn't that fun?
211
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,214
Well, that was classic.
Marquess had a chance
to kill Hitler
212
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,543
-and didn't have the balls.
-(STAMMERING)
213
00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:16,608
I had the balls.
Kill baby Hitler
and save six million Jews?
214
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:17,849
No-brainer.
215
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,354
I bet that was
a shocking visual
216
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:21,815
for all those people
on that street, huh?
217
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:24,524
Oh, no! We never got that guy
a birthday present
for his wife!
218
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:27,457
Oh, you know what? Let's just
get him a (BLEEP) gift card.
219
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:33,297
Shalom aleichem.
220
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,572
-Shalom!-Shalom.
221
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:36,801
Shalom.
222
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:39,340
Shalom aleichem!
223
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:42,269
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
17892
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