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1
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:07,269
(SNORING)
2
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,750
(ALARM BLARING)
3
00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:24,419
(SIGHS)
4
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:30,702
Ugh!
5
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:31,730
Gladis!
6
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:33,766
(SIGHS)
7
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,768
(ALARM BLARRING)
8
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:48,309
(SIGHS) Pigeon.
9
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:51,678
Oh, wow! Oh, I thought
this was my room.
10
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,888
Well, did I piss on your
carpet? I'm sorry.
11
00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:56,391
That's okay, buddy.
12
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:00,555
Oh, come on.
13
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,295
(HORN HONKS)
14
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,531
(HONKING)
15
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,330
What did I do?
16
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:10,903
Whoopsie!
17
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:14,042
-(CAR HONKS)
-WOMAN: We love you, Mike.
18
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,344
MAN: Mike, Mike Tyson!
19
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:17,405
I love you too,
stay in school, fool.
20
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:23,945
(CAR HONKS)
21
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,284
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
22
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:28,851
Morning, Ted.
23
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,461
Hi, Naan.
24
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,892
Oh, I like your hair, Sheila.
25
00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:38,159
I like your hair too, Carol.
26
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,068
Oh, thanks, Sheila.
27
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,300
I got a new comb.
28
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,337
What is this?
29
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,208
"To Carol,
30
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:55,706
"love, your secret admirer."
31
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:57,379
(GASPS)
32
00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:02,087
Morning, Marquess.
33
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,662
Oh, what is this?
34
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,920
Fast-food breakfast items.
35
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,359
Morning, Yung.
Oh, I like your hair.
36
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,695
Did you do
something different?
37
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,627
No.
38
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:13,929
(GASPS) What is this?
39
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,627
MARQUESS: Oh, we got
a new mystery.
40
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,699
I just put it there,
so you wouldn't miss it.
41
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:18,597
Oh, cool.
42
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,408
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery Team.
43
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,910
-"My name is Carol."
-PIGEON: Wait, wait, wait.
44
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:24,842
Wait for me. Wait, wait, wait!
Wait, wait, wait!
45
00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:35,293
Okay, now you can read it.
46
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,791
-Thanks for coming.
-Oh, you're welcome.
47
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,787
Was it that obvious
that I came?
48
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,659
I was looking at that
big titted Persian
49
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,528
and then it just... Happened.
50
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,539
You got an extra napkin?
51
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,309
Since I sent you the note,
52
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:57,581
I've gotten three more gifts
from my secret admirer.
53
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:01,211
Oh, is that so?
Were any of them a napkin
with semen on it?
54
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,548
What?
55
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:05,452
-No.
-Well. Ah, here you go.
56
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,115
You add that to the gift pile.
57
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:08,493
Ugh. Oh, my God.
58
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,721
So, is there anyone
that you can think of
59
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,217
that might have
a crush on you?
60
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:13,759
No.
61
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,393
No one likes me.
62
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,563
I think...
63
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:20,027
What I'm afraid of is, that...
64
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,466
This is...
65
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,341
Someone's idea of a joke.
66
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:26,641
(CRYING)
67
00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:28,373
There, there, Carol. You're
being too hard on yourself.
68
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:29,838
You're a beautiful woman.
69
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,176
Your hair is
kind of brownish-gray.
70
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,012
You have an apple shaped body.
71
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,347
You have glasses.
72
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,752
Rosacea, those thick wrists...
73
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,784
Wait, wait, wait. What were we
talking about again?
74
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:42,119
I just dread coming into work.
75
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,456
Every time I...
76
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,391
Find a new gift, I just...
77
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:49,486
Imagine someone's
laughing at me.
78
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,029
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
79
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,604
You might want to use
a different napkin, you know.
80
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,232
One that doesn't have
81
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:55,997
this pigeon's semen on it.
82
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,636
I should just
get back to work.
83
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:01,712
They only give us a 20 minute
lunch break.
84
00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:04,806
For what it's worth, Carol,
85
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,384
I believe your
secret admirer is real.
86
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,954
And we'll find him.
I guarantee it.
87
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,953
"I guarantee it"? What are you
the Men's Warehouse?
88
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,489
Now, how do we help
this poor woman?
89
00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:21,625
I think one of us
need to go undercover
as an office worker.
90
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,501
Get in on some of that
office gossip
91
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,130
and someone's
gotta know something.
92
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,699
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
93
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:38,877
(SIGHS)
94
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:40,912
Who are you?
95
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,007
-Good morning, Carol.
-Oh!
96
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,719
Oh, Mike Tyson.
97
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,891
-What you doing here?
-Shh! I'm your new coworker,
98
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,451
Mark Starwars.
99
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:50,889
We're cubicle neighbors.
100
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,394
Now I can keep an eye
on your desk.
101
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:54,786
What happened to Vanessa?
102
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,558
I told Vanessa
she was laid off.
103
00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,326
You know, cut backs
and what not.
104
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,465
(PHONE RINGS) Oh, hold up.
105
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,970
(PICKS UP RECEIVER)
Data Information Technology
Storage Solution.
106
00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:06,072
This is Mike Tyson speaking,
I mean, I'm Mark Starwars.
107
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,836
How can I help you?
108
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:11,484
Well, we have a number of
storage options available
for your business.
109
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:16,511
It all depends on whether
you, you know, value
flexibility or security.
110
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:19,879
I mean, we can
sit here all day and talk
a bunch of bull (BLEEP)
111
00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:22,689
about how you can have
both of them at the same time.
112
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:25,662
But that's not reality.
What's your name, Mitch?
113
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,492
That's not reality, Mitch.
114
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:28,957
Uh-huh.
115
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,025
Uh-huh.
116
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,163
Give me a second, Mitch.
117
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,257
(KEYBOARD CLICKING)
Oh, hold on, Mitch.
118
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:35,799
Here's one with flexibility
and security.
119
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,795
I guess, I spoke too soon.
120
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,572
(LAUGHING)
121
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,878
Ooh, that's funny
(BLEEP), man.
122
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,710
Man, hey, have a wonderful
rest of your day, buddy.
123
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:49,046
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
124
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,722
This is why I come to work
every morning.
125
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:54,591
For this feeling right here.
126
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,821
I could sell a shit
to a shit machine.
127
00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:58,857
Coming, Carol?
128
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,192
I'm gonna hit that break room
real hard.
129
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:10,104
Ah, I just feel so guilty.
I mean,
130
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:11,936
here we are
lounging around the pool,
131
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:15,971
while Mike is having to
solve the mystery
all by himself, ugh.
132
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,679
If this wasn't my
third Riesling you know
what I would do?
133
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,281
I would go straight to
that office
134
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,353
and I would...
Well, I don't know
what I would do.
135
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,152
But what I do know,
136
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:27,154
is this Riesling is crisp,
fruit forward
137
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:28,747
and perfectly balanced.
138
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:32,118
And this, guys,
this was 14.99.
139
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:34,428
This was under $20!
140
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:37,761
I mean, you cannot tell me
that you have to
spend over $20
141
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,457
for a decent Riesling,
you don't.
142
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,269
I didn't. Am I monologuing?
143
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,701
Because if I'm monologuing,
tell me to stop. Come on.
144
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,536
Please, I'll stop. (GASPS)
145
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,173
Ho-ho-ho, that is crazy!
146
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,279
I mean, I was aiming
for your face.
147
00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:55,512
-Where the pod go?
-You lift up that part.
148
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:56,778
Oh, this?
149
00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:59,046
-No, this part.
-Ooh, it opens.
150
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,515
Now pick which pod you want,
which flavor.
151
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,794
Oh, damn.
Look at all these pods.
152
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,423
I'll go with hazelnut.
It's a little bit of a treat.
153
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:08,229
But nothing crazy like,
hot chocolate.
154
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,761
What fatass, he gets
hot chocolate in the
middle of the day?
155
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,028
(BLEEP) it. You know what?
156
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,826
This fatass is
getting hot chocolate.
157
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,198
I deserve it. You hear me
on that phone with Mitch?
158
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,407
It was like stealing baby
from a candy store.
159
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,170
I gotta get back to my desk.
160
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:26,910
I can't help but notice you
guys staring that whole time.
161
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,646
You guys staring at Carol?
162
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,521
She's something else, right?
163
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:34,250
Sweet and pretty?
That's a combination
you don't find every day.
164
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,157
I bet somebody around here
admires her secretly.
165
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,260
If you guys know anything,
come to me at my desk.
166
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,993
I'm in Vanessa Telleria's
old cubicle.
167
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:47,229
I don't like to gossip but
she was fired for stealing.
168
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:50,337
Ow, ow! It's so full,
so hot and full.
169
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:52,100
(BLOWING)
170
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:57,077
The hot chocolate's not going
to come out. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
171
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,810
Well, that's God telling me
I should have got hazelnut.
172
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,181
I mean that's amazing.
173
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,846
Heavyweight champ
of the world.
174
00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:06,684
One of the most famous
people on Earth
175
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:10,149
and now just some poor slob
trying to make it
to the weekend.
176
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:11,619
(TOILET FLUSHES)
177
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,795
Oh, my God. Did he hear me?
178
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,873
What the (BLEEP) do I do?
179
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:25,942
I can't have my cover blown.I've come too far.
180
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,872
I have to kill him.I have to kill this man.
181
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,893
(SIGHS) My God.
182
00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:45,021
The weekend, it just
can't come fast enough.
183
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:49,756
(CHUCKLES) How about,
I can barely...
184
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,296
B, E, A, R, ly.
185
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,432
-Contain my love for you.
-(LAUGHING)
186
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,138
Oh, my God, that's great.
187
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,770
-(LAUGHING)
-Oh, my God, that's great.
188
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:01,235
-She's so stupid.
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
189
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,684
Hey, guys, you know what
I can barely contain?
190
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,680
My (BLEEP) fists
in your faces.
191
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,812
(BOTH GROAN)
192
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,261
Mike?
193
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:28,433
(DOOR OPENS)
194
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,844
You can put
your stuff upstairs, I guess.
195
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,413
Since you live
here now, forever.
196
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,024
(SNIFFING)
197
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:49,821
Well, we got married.
198
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,516
-What?
-What are you talking about?
199
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:54,427
She was right.
They were making fun of her.
200
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:58,160
I felt so bad. So I said
I was the secret admirer.
201
00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:00,027
And I said I loved her
from afar.
202
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,726
And now I love her up-close.
203
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,298
And then I asked her
to marry me.
204
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,966
And then we went to the
courthouse and got married.
205
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:07,505
And then we stopped
by her place
206
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:10,710
and I got a bunch of her shit,
and then we came here.
207
00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:12,783
I still don't understand
why you got married?
208
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:15,612
I don't know, I panicked.
I shouldn't be doing
mysteries by myself.
209
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:18,148
(BLEEP) man! What the (BLEEP)
are we going to do?
210
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,953
(ALARM BLARING)
211
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:26,493
Oh, thank goodness it was
just a dream.
212
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:28,763
(GLADIS URINATING)
213
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,926
(SNORING)
214
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,369
Well, maybe I can
grow to love her.
215
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,840
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
216
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:53,220
Hey, this is Mark Starwars
calling you back from
217
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:56,892
the Data Information
Technology Storage Solution.
15479
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