All language subtitles for Mike Tyson Mysteries s03e15_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:06,711 (MAN GRUNTING) 2 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,643 (SIGHS) Mmm. 3 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,309 Hmm? 4 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,076 Your Highness, I'm afraid your prostate 5 00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:17,745 is not responding to the treatment we have tried. 6 00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:20,894 This news is most grievous. What are our options? 7 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,351 Surgery. 8 00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,319 But you have said that carries risk of impotence. 9 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,427 I am Prince Abdur Farook. 10 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,560 I have a different woman in my bed every night. 11 00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,595 My sex parties are legendary. 12 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,830 Impotency is a risk I cannot take. 13 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,296 But we put you on alpha blockers, um... 14 00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:38,435 We did transurethral microwave thermotherapy. 15 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,642 Even transurethral needle ablation. 16 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,814 Never speak of the needle ablation again. 17 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,943 Or I will have you buried in the desert 18 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,338 with your testicles set alight 19 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,449 and stuffed in the mouths of your children. 20 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:49,712 Yes, Your Highness. 21 00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:51,579 I'm sorry, I have failed you. 22 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,248 I... I really thought the prostate would have shrunk. 23 00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:55,687 It's a mystery. 24 00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:57,386 A mystery? 25 00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:59,324 Yes, medically speaking. 26 00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:01,659 Silence, or I will have your anus removed 27 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,395 and stitched to the face of your mother's father. 28 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:07,231 -My... My grandfather? -I told you not to speak. 29 00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,727 -Remove his anus, find his mother's father. -No! 30 00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:12,769 Please! My mother's father died 20 years ago. 31 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,866 Then dig him up from the ground. 32 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:15,908 (DOOR CLOSES) 33 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,337 (SIGHS) 34 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,608 If you are a mystery, 35 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:23,247 then I know who will solve you. 36 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,551 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 37 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:31,858 Your presence is requested in Dubai, United Arab Emirates 38 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:35,362 by his highness, Prince Abdur Al Farook. 39 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,625 (GASPS) An Arabian Prince? 40 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,974 How fabulous, and in Dubai? 41 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,170 Oh... 42 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,341 I can wear my Isis costume. 43 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:44,570 What the (BLEEP). 44 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,474 Why would you have an ISIS costume? 45 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,406 What... Why wouldn't I? 46 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,711 I feel powerful and sexy in it. 47 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,454 What? 48 00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:57,982 Marquess, it is unacceptable to dress like ISIS. 49 00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,218 Well, you know what? 50 00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,522 We're just gonna have to agree to disagree. 51 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,415 Hmm. I wonder what the mystery is. 52 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:06,356 I bet it has something to do with the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. 53 00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:09,363 It's a mystery they don't get along. They're neighbors. 54 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,426 Hey there, Mike. 55 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,604 Shelly and I are having a neighborhood potluck on Saturday, be great if you-- 56 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:16,273 What the (BLEEP) are you doing looking over my wall, mother(BLEEP)? 57 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,143 Stay on your side or I'll launch missiles on your ass, 58 00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,872 you dumb piece of shit. 59 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:32,151 (YELPS) This hotel room is bigger than our house! 60 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:34,715 Ah, I see they went for understated elegance. 61 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:37,594 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a shit 62 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:40,364 in one of our seven gold toilets. 63 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,532 (MUEZZIN CALL ECHOING) 64 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:44,833 The Middle East. 65 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:46,934 The most peaceful place on Earth. 66 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,527 (KNOCKING) 67 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:51,570 Greetings, Mr. Tyson. 68 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,995 I am Mahmoud Bin Rahim. 69 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,709 Personal secretary to his highness, the Prince. 70 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:57,612 I trust your flight over was comfortable? 71 00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,784 The first couple of hours was comfortable. 72 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,413 But the next, man, I mean like, 17 hours, man, 73 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,049 we were uncomfortable as (BLEEP). 74 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,824 Ah, um... 75 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,122 Perhaps you are not familiar with the Dubai code of conduct. 76 00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:12,424 I'm afraid profanity and all vulgar language is strictly forbidden. 77 00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:15,129 Oh, oh, no shit? 78 00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:18,101 Other offenses include being drunk and disorderly, 79 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,531 public displays of affection, 80 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,326 drug use, homosexuality. 81 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,438 We have a strict dress codes. 82 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,700 Dancing and playing loud music are banned. 83 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:28,069 Gossip and rumor mongering are forbidden. 84 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,038 Oh, hey, you know, I hate to gossip 85 00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:33,876 but I heard, you know, rumors that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, 86 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,213 you know, they have an open marriage. 87 00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:38,819 -You know anything about that? -Dad, he just said that's forbidden. 88 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,552 But I can tell by the look on his face, he knows somethin'. 89 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,788 Are there any other rules we need to know about? 90 00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:46,023 Well, there are many strictures specific to women 91 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,589 but obviously, that doesn't apply to either of you. 92 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:51,599 So, you know... (CHUCKLES) 93 00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,301 God, I love a bidet. 94 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,503 A little powerful for someone of my stature, but... 95 00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,236 You can't argue with the results. 96 00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:02,511 I mean, look at that asshole. You can eat dinner off it. 97 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,012 Hey, there. 98 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:07,014 So, Mahmoud, can you tell us anything about the mystery? 99 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,947 Everything you need to know is contained in this medical report. 100 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,983 The Prince would like you all to join him tonight at his home. 101 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,349 Where you can discuss this matter in private. 102 00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:16,788 Okay, cool. 103 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,023 Hey, dude, there's a big mall here, right? 104 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:22,229 -Oh, yes, the largest in the world. -They got a Versace here? 105 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,932 I believe they do. 106 00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:27,033 But perhaps your time is better spent studying the medical report? 107 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:30,037 The Prince is most anxious to have this matter resolved. 108 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,600 Cool. Do you know if they're open now? 109 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,539 I'm askin' for a friend. 110 00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:35,974 Yes, I'm sure it's open. 111 00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:42,749 (WHISPERS) I wasn't askin' for a friend. I was askin' for me. 112 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,952 MARQUESS: Bow down to Isis, bitches. 113 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:48,054 That's right. I brought my Isis costume. 114 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,688 I even got my scepter through customs. (HUMS) 115 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,064 (CHUCKLES) But there was no way, 116 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,092 I was coming to the cradle of civilization 117 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,627 and not dressing like the goddess of fertility and love. 118 00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:59,564 (EXCLAIMS) 119 00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:02,829 Oh, my God, you look like that murderer in Silence of the Lambs. 120 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,769 Mmm. Mmm... 121 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:10,707 Ooh, Prince Farook, that was delicious. 122 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,844 -What was that? -Roasted goat. 123 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,979 Mmm. It never tastes like that when I make it. 124 00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:18,315 Well, now that we have had our pleasure. 125 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,981 Let us take care of our business. 126 00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:22,119 You've had time to look over my file? 127 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,185 Yeah, when we got back from the mall. 128 00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,264 I mean, we did it before we went to the mall. 129 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:29,162 And how do you wish to handle my prostate? 130 00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:32,095 Very carefully. 131 00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:35,099 (LAUGHING) 132 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,611 That's a prostate joke, but seriously, man. 133 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,110 We have no (BLEEP) idea. 134 00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,882 We're not (BLEEP) doctors, man. 135 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,010 We couldn't read anything in that file. 136 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:48,775 (SCOFFS) Doctors are narrow minded fools. 137 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:52,545 But, you, Mike Tyson and your men... 138 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:55,885 Oh. My apologies, madam. I didn't mean to exclude you. 139 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,992 (CHUCKLES) Oh, thanks that's... 140 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,355 Oh. 141 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:02,793 I want you to use all of your mystery solving powers 142 00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:04,699 to shrink my prostate. 143 00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,401 Oh, shrink your prostate? 144 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,633 Okay, that's giving me an idea. 145 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:11,368 Now, you're gonna say this is because I just saw the movie Innerspace, 146 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:14,644 starring Dennis Quaid and that other guy from Three Amigos! 147 00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:16,884 But it's not. It's unrelated. 148 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,280 I say you shrink us all down, 149 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,082 put us in, and I don't know what it was in Innerspace, 150 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,675 but put us in that thing that Dennis Quaid was in. 151 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,987 And then inject us in the tip of your penis 152 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,190 and we'll pilot the thing that's in Innerspace 153 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,062 all the way up your penis, to your prostate. 154 00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,391 And then, 155 00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,556 here's the part that's different from Innerspace, 156 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,655 we use the same stuff to shrink us, 157 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,557 to shrink your prostate. 158 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,270 Do you have access to this technology? 159 00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,903 Oh, no, I have no idea. I don't think that exists. 160 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:50,109 I mean, we could go, maybe find people that worked on Innerspace. 161 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,683 But that movie's like 30 years old. 162 00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:55,612 And it's a movie, so that's like, um, 163 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,248 make believe, you know. 164 00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:58,653 And you're not gonna believe this 165 00:06:58,685 --> 00:06:59,945 but I could eat some more of that goat. 166 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,746 I am not ready to give up. 167 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,018 I will use all of my resources to find someone 168 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,917 who can deliver this technology. 169 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:09,059 I know people in Pakistan, in Beirut, Syria. 170 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,825 Oh, that sounds like a good group. 171 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,804 I hope we get involved with all these people. 172 00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:16,002 Maybe travel there. Meet them face to face. 173 00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,935 No. You shall stay at the Burj and await my call. 174 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:22,842 I thank you, for you have given me hope. 175 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,806 This meeting is over. 176 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,512 Unless, um... 177 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,377 The lady would like to stay? 178 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,350 Okay. 179 00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,655 What. Wait, that's it? 180 00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:43,194 Aw, the night's over? 181 00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:44,529 Ate too much goat. 182 00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,234 I'm going straight to bed. 183 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,496 But first... 184 00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:50,544 I'm going straight to one of those gold toilets. 185 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:53,940 -Yung? -Mmm. I think I'm just gonna take a bath and go to bed. 186 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,743 Ah... Pigeon, what do you say? 187 00:07:56,776 --> 00:08:00,076 See what the, uh, club scene's like? Huh? 188 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,453 No. 189 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,851 I think I'll try and get in that bathroom before Yung 190 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,283 and hide in the towels and watch her bathe. 191 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,389 Something mellow, I'm kinda jet lagged. 192 00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:12,561 What? So nobody wants to join Isis? 193 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:18,032 Oh! You might be unpopular, Isis, but I support you. 194 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,934 MAN: (WHISPERS) You... You support ISIS? 195 00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:23,296 What? Uh, yeah. 196 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,104 (WHISPERS) Get in. 197 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,539 Oh, um... 198 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:30,144 Well, normally I have someone buy me a drink first, but... 199 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,906 (CHUCKLES) Okay. 200 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,985 -MAN: Again. -(WHIMPERING) 201 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,620 Prince Abdur Farook is an enemy of the Caliphate. 202 00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:46,486 I will use my connections to gain access to the Prince. 203 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,986 Where I will set off my suicide vest, killing myself and him. 204 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:53,569 And be rewarded in heaven with 72 virgin maidens. 205 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,730 (MUMBLES) Can't wait. 206 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,766 He's ready. 207 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:07,052 Yung, Pigeon, I'm okay, I'm alright. 208 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,950 -What? -What... I'm back! 209 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,953 -What are you talkin' about? -Oh, my God! 210 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,645 Did none of you notice? 211 00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:15,146 I was kidnapped... 212 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,788 For three weeks! 213 00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:19,820 Really? Nope, didn't notice. 214 00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,589 Oh, my God. 215 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,898 Well, apparently, there is a group of maniacs called ISIS. 216 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:27,831 And they do not mean the goddess of fertility and love. 217 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,697 (STAMMERS) Have you heard of these people? 218 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,566 Yes! Do you not read the news? 219 00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:34,244 What? No. As a matter of fact, I don't because it's depressing... 220 00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:37,083 MIKE: (OVER SPEAKERS) Okay, I'm nearing the prostate. 221 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,981 I mean, I think I am. 222 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,983 (MACHINES WHIRRING) 223 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,515 What... Shut the front door! 224 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,580 The shrinking thing worked? 225 00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:49,519 We tracked down one of the production designers from the film Innerspace. 226 00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:52,515 We were also able to meet Dennis Quaid. Okay, my friend. 227 00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:56,558 On the control panel, to your left is a red button. 228 00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,926 This will release a dosage of the same shrinking serum we used to shrink you 229 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:02,267 to shrink the prostate. 230 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,871 (GASPS) Marquess, is that a suicide vest? 231 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,214 Uh, yeah. I got it when I was kidnapped. 232 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,680 We will be fine as long as he doesn't press the red button. 233 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,340 MIKE: (OVER SPEAKERS) So, don't press the red button? 234 00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,408 -Can I at least take it off? -No! 235 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,747 You must first clip that green wire. 236 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,453 Not red. Green. Green! 237 00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:20,494 MIKE: (OVER SPEAKERS) Okay, green it is. 238 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,390 Pressing the green button now. 239 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:25,362 No! Pressing the green button will instantly re-enlarge-- 240 00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:28,131 -(SPLATTERING) -(SHIP POWERING DOWN) 241 00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,358 Well, look on the bright side, 242 00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:36,399 at least ISIS is gonna be happy. 243 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,436 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 244 00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,905 Oh, mighty Isis, lift me high. 245 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:50,517 Lift me high, so I can fly! 246 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,520 (WIND RUSHING) 18952

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.