Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:03,601
EMCEE: And now,for our final weigh-in.
2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:06,644
Let's give it upfor Fred Gandy!
3
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,440
Let's see what you got
in there, Fred.
4
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:10,913
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
5
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,845
EMCEE: Five pounds, one ounce!
6
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:16,619
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
7
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,977
Five pounds, three ounces!
8
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,746
Five pounds, seven ounces!
9
00:00:21,756 --> 00:00:24,986
Five pounds, nine ounces!
10
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:27,032
Are you kiddin' me?
11
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,828
Six pounds, three ounces!
12
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,900
Fred Gandy,your four-day total
13
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:36,899
is aSam Rayburn Reservoir recordof 76 pounds, five ounces!
14
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,074
FRED: Yes!
15
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:39,942
Whoo!
16
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,540
Cheater, cheater!
17
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,542
He's a big, fat cheater.
18
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,605
There's only one big, fat
fisherman I see,
19
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,114
and it's you, Bill Van Bibber.
20
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:50,345
Oh, (BLEEP) you, Fred.
Just (BLEEP) yourself.
21
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,451
You're not half
the angler I am.
22
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:55,953
There's no way you caught
all those giant fish without
doin' something sneaky,
23
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,356
you slithery old snake.
24
00:00:57,358 --> 00:01:00,528
Why don't you hit those S's
a little harder there, Bill.
25
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:02,758
You sound like a beach ball
with a hole in it.
26
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:03,633
(HISSING)
27
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,131
-(GASPS) Ooh.
-Ooh?
28
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:07,032
Yeah, I said, "Ooh,"
'cause I'm comin' to get you.
29
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,334
-Easy there!
-You're not gonna
get away with this.
30
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,595
I'm gonna solve this mystery.
31
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,943
I'm quakin' in my boots,
Agatha Christie.
32
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:15,739
(GASPS) I'm gonna get you bad.
Get your hands off me!
33
00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:21,105
Now, what is your purse
doin' in this aisle.
34
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,375
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
35
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,780
ANNOUNCER: It's that timeof year again,
36
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:59,223
the Sam Rayburn ReservoirProfessional Bass FishingInvitational.
37
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,990
Coverage begins Thursday
38
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:04,018
right here on theOutdoor SportingLifestyle Network,
39
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:06,834
Channel 755.
40
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,227
You, uh, fishin' in it
this year, Bill?
41
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,300
Why the hell wouldn't I,
Lindsay?
42
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:15,768
Well, everyone seems to think
it's Fred Gandy what's
gonna come away with it.
43
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,499
You mean Fred Cheater?
44
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,035
Yeah, that's right, I said it.
45
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,309
Say, you ever solve
that old mystery
46
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:24,238
of how he done caught
all them fish what was
in his bag?
47
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:25,535
No.
48
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,546
I guess I'm just not
a mystery solver.
49
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,748
MIKE: Hey! Do you havea mystery that you'reneeding to solve?
50
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:33,050
Hi, I'm Mike Tyson,former heavyweight championof the world.
51
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,923
If you need me to solve
your mystery,
52
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:37,662
simply write down your mystery
on a small piece of paper,
53
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,758
then attach that paper
to a pigeon,
54
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,690
then let that pigeon fly
to my house,
55
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,295
then I will read your paper,
56
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,097
and then,
before you know it,
mystery solved.
57
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:49,000
It's as simple as one, two,
three...
58
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,403
Four, five.
59
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,244
So, what are you waiting for?
60
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:54,669
Get up off the canvas
and get back into the ring
of your life.
61
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,805
Don't get knocked down
by your mysteries,
62
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,880
get knocked up, by me,
solving your mysteries.
63
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,950
Don't delay. Offer ends soon.
64
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:06,589
It's as simple as
one, two, three, four.
65
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,517
Lindsay, I just got
a great idea.
66
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,430
I think we should frost
this little tip right here,
67
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:18,127
because this country bumpkin
is goin' to the big city
68
00:03:18,132 --> 00:03:19,802
to find himself a pigeon.
69
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:23,604
(BLEEP) it.
Let's do the whole front.
70
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:25,897
YUNG HEE: Thank you.
71
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:31,805
-What is that?
-I don't know.
72
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,052
-Pigeon, did you
order something?
-No.
73
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:35,108
Ugh. Rude.
74
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,149
-Ugh!
-(GASPS)
75
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:39,592
MARQUESS: Oh, my God.
76
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,220
Oh, shit. Pigeon is dead?
77
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:44,864
Hmm. What do we do with him?
78
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,258
-Dad...
-I don't think you're supposed
to bury them
79
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:50,331
because they can get ants
or maggots or something
like that.
80
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,731
-Dad.
-We could burn him.
81
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,632
Or flush him down the toilet.
82
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,204
But I don't think he'll fit.
83
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,602
I guess we could always
cut him up into little pieces,
84
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,935
but if you're gonna do that,
you might as well
just burn him.
85
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,770
Jesus Christ, I'm right here.
86
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,036
Oh! Well, then who's this?
87
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,822
BILL: Well, Lufkin
is a small town,
88
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:13,749
and we just don't
have many pigeons,
89
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,364
so I had gone to Dallas
and I captured one.
90
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,017
Can you believe it?
91
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,785
Next to a dumpster
behind the 76 station
and I got him in my car.
92
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,634
I just put him on the seat
there in the back
93
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,160
and he was just still,
you know?
94
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,904
And we just drove around
in silence for a while.
95
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,730
And I had about forgot about
him when, out of nowhere,
96
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,366
he flapped up in the
front seat and I damn near
crashed my car.
97
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:33,912
And I guess I must have
just backhanded him
a little bit,
98
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,407
but his little neck
must have just broken.
99
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,880
I felt bad about it.
100
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,138
But, you know, you had
stated in your commercial
101
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,076
to send you a pigeon
with a note,
102
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:44,081
and I didn't know
if you needed the pigeon
for technical reasons,
103
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,554
or paperwork,
or what have you,
104
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:46,892
because I don't know
how it works,
105
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,987
so I went into the
box-and-ship place
106
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,459
and they suggested that
refrigerated packaging,
107
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,388
so that there'd
be no spoilage.
108
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,264
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
109
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,662
Oh. Okay.
110
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,704
Well, would you like me
to say it again?
111
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:02,829
No, I was just letting
everyone know that I'm
not interested in any of this.
112
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:06,941
Well, well, well.
113
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,940
Isn't this a motley crew?
114
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,682
Get your ass outta here, Fred.
115
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,208
Nobody wants you here.
116
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,182
Oh, hi, Fred!
So good to see you.
117
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,821
Sit wherever you like.
Everybody, Fred's here!
118
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,217
MAN 1: Oh, hey there, Fred!
MAN 2: Hey, Fred!
119
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,549
(INDISTINCT GREETINGS)
120
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,694
MAN 3: God bless you!
121
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,719
Well, we don't want you here.
122
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,324
Hey, Fred, it's a pleasure
to meet you.
123
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,586
You wanna join us for lunch?
124
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,493
Thank you. No, I don't.
125
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,525
I wanna get some casting in
before the tournament starts
tomorrow,
126
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:34,532
so I'm pickin' up a
chef's salad to eat
on the boat.
127
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,225
Dressing on the side, fatty.
128
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,696
I wouldn't be so cocky
if I were you, Fred.
129
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,466
This is the Mike Tyson
Mystery Team,
130
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:44,614
and they're gonna be on
their own boat tomorrow
keepin' an eye on you.
131
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:47,111
So you better watch
the (BLEEP) out.
132
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:50,684
Bill, language. There are
children right behind you.
133
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:55,322
You stupid, stupid asshole.
134
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,294
Sir, did you get all that?
135
00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:02,894
-I just went over a lot
of safety information.
-(ENGINE STARTS)
136
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,996
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got it.
137
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,368
-Anchors aweigh,
mother(BLEEP)!
-(MARQUESS GASPS)
138
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,358
-BILL: What the hell do you
think you're doing?
-Wha...
139
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,825
FRED: My Lord!
140
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:37,027
Bill Van Bibber,
you just about scared
the wizards outta me.
141
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,130
What is that you've got there?
142
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:40,933
I knew you were up to
somethin'. I knew it.
143
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,304
(STUTTERING) What are you
even talkin' about?
144
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:46,973
-I use this to check
how deep the water is.
-Oh, bull crap!
145
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,144
I don't know what
that thing does,
146
00:06:48,142 --> 00:06:50,442
but you use it to cheat,
and it's over.
147
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:51,644
What are you doin'?
148
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,875
(CHUCKLES) Oh,
I'm reporting you.
149
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,711
Your little party is over.
150
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:58,576
This is Bill Van Bibber,
and I'm on the south side
of the lake,
151
00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,745
up near Big Beaver Hall.
152
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,923
FRED: I said put that down.
153
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,522
You never said,
"Put that down."
154
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,794
Well, I thought it.
155
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,392
And now I'm sayin' it.
156
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:09,133
Now, put that... Hold on.
157
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,199
Well... Stay on your own boat.
158
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,828
-Don't move, 'cause
you're rockin' the boat.
-Well, I'm not...
159
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,734
Why would I want you
to be on my boat?
160
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,496
It doesn't matter what you
want 'cause I'm the one
with the sword.
161
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,474
You'd kill me over fish?
162
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,367
(ENGING REVVING IN DISTANCE)
163
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:29,154
What kind of maniac would be
drivin' a boat flat-out
in this kind of fog?
164
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,349
(BOTH GROAN)
165
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,851
Dad, you hit somebody!
166
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,223
MARQUESS: Michael!
YUNG HEE: Dad, stop!
167
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,091
MARQUESS:
You have to turn around!
168
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:38,419
No way! I think I told the guy
I did not want the insurance.
169
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:39,925
This didn't happen.
170
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,957
Nothing happened. I'm
(BLEEP) killing all of you.
171
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,903
I'm serious,
I'm (BLEEP) panickin'!
172
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,770
-Anchors aweigh!
-Dad!
173
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,370
(SCREAMING)
174
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:54,971
Let me, uh, know
if you guys need any help.
175
00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,114
(PANTING)
176
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:02,981
(BILL GRUNTING)
177
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,985
Fred Gandy?
178
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,187
Fred Gandy, you saved my life.
179
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,659
(FRED GRUNTING)
180
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,787
Oh, God, Fred.
181
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,733
(GROANING)
182
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,558
No, that's...
It's gonna be fine.
183
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,533
It's go... Well.
184
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,732
It might not be perfect.
185
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:20,903
No.
186
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,571
(GROANING) Listen to me.
187
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:24,999
I'm gonna call someone.
I'm gonna call someone.
You're fine.
188
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,365
Shut your mouth
and listen to me.
189
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,711
You were right.
190
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,110
-I cheated.
-Well, I...
191
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,011
I don't care about that
anymore.
192
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,113
-I gotta get you help.
-No.
193
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,175
I need you to take that sword,
194
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,754
find a quiet place
in the lake,
195
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,023
and throw it in.
196
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,491
Well, why do you
want me to do that?
197
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,890
Just do what I say!
198
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,992
(GROANS) Please, Bill.
199
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,730
(SIGHS)
200
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,429
I love you, Fred.
201
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,960
(SIGHS)
202
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,025
I love you too, Bill.
203
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,434
I always have.
204
00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:59,737
-We should have (BLEEP).
-What?
205
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,540
We should have
(BLEEP) each other.
206
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,612
I bet if we'd got that
out of our system,
207
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,340
we would have been closer.
208
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,705
Or maybe not.
Maybe it would
have been awful.
209
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:12,124
Well, I'm gonna take
the sword to some quiet
place in the lake,
210
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,889
just like you said, okay?
211
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,387
Maybe Three Wiener Cove.
212
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,489
Right where the three wieners
come together.
213
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,955
Oh, Fred...
214
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:55,956
The Lady of the Lake.
215
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:59,433
Then this sword is Excalibur.
216
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:02,503
It all makes sense now.
All of it.
217
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,449
Fred?
218
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:16,381
Fred Gandy?
219
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:27,129
(YELLING) You're right, Fred.
We should have (BLEEP).
220
00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:37,995
Thanks again
for picking me up.
221
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,305
You can just drop me off
anywhere'd be good.
222
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,477
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
223
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:53,746
(WHISPERING)
I think they're biting.
224
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,894
I think they're biting.
225
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,659
Yeah, I feel a little
tug there.
16950
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.