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1
00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:03,140
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:37,041
COUNCILMAN: I think
they're doing it on purpose.
3
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,998
Hold on, Councilman.
4
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,436
Are you saying the unions
are using the slowdown
as a bargaining tool?
5
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,482
Well, it's hard to conclude
anything else.
6
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,807
But we don't know.
7
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,452
As I've said before,
it's a mystery.
8
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,848
I propose we attempt
to solve the mystery
9
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,080
by hiring an independent
mystery team
10
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:57,156
and then have that
mystery team report
their findings back to us.
11
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,018
Hmm. Now, that is interesting.
12
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:02,286
I've heard very good things
about the Mike Tyson
Mystery Team.
13
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:03,996
-The boxer?
-Uh, yes.
14
00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,228
Although, I believe he's...
He's retired from boxing.
15
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:10,403
All right.
All those in favor of hiring
the Mike Tyson Mystery Team
16
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:14,574
to look into the slowdown
at the Port of Los Angeles
say "Aye."
17
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,735
Those opposed, say "Nay."
18
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:21,449
-(TV PLAYING)
-Mmm, is that our pizza?
19
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,219
-MIKE: Uh-uh.
-Who is it?
20
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:24,947
Oh, (BLEEP), dude.
21
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:27,022
Looks like some
of those religious people.
22
00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:29,761
You know, they go door to door
to prophesize.
23
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,657
We gotta pretend
like we're not here.
24
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,629
(SHUSHING) Mute the TV.
25
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,457
-(MARQUESS GASPS)
-Mute it!
26
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,763
Nobody move.
27
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,434
(DOORBELL PLAYING FUR ELISE)
28
00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:43,443
-Is that our doorbell?
-Shh! Yes.
29
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,497
Have you never heard
our doorbell?
30
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,506
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
31
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,978
-Does that always go on?
-Shh!
32
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,408
(MUSIC ENDS)
33
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:54,784
(WHISPERING)
Are they gone yet?
34
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:57,449
How would I know?
35
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,185
(WHISPERING) I don't think
they saw me, did they?
36
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:09,464
-I don't think so. (GASPS)
-(DOORBELL MUSIC PLAYING)
37
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:13,073
PIGEON: What the (BLEEP)?
Is anybody gonna answer
the (BLEEP) damn door?
38
00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:15,073
(LOUDLY) What?
39
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:18,399
-(MUSIC CONTINUES)
-Uh, Mr. Tyson?
40
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,335
(WHISPERING)
Can they see me?
41
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:23,281
-Here's the agreement.
-It basically says
you have 16 months
42
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:26,877
to conduct your investigation
and report your findings
to the council.
43
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:30,081
For this, we've budgeted
a total of $1.6 million,
44
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:32,924
payable in monthly
installments of a $100,000.
45
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,720
That sounds like a smart use
of taxpayer money.
46
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:38,223
Okay, boys. We'll do it.
47
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,426
-(DOORBELL MUSIC PLAYING)
-Thank you very...
48
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,058
-(SHUSHING)
-We're excited to be...
49
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,533
Shut up. Shut up.
Shut the (BLEEP) up!
50
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:48,573
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
51
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,639
(DELIVERYMAN DRUMMING FINGERS
ON BOX)
52
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,439
STOREKEEPER:
Hi, can I help you?
53
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,070
My daughter's
finally old enough to get
her first cellphone.
54
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,106
Dad, I have a cellphone.
55
00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:58,911
I've had one
for, like, four years.
56
00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:02,513
Huh. Okay, well, (BLEEP) it.
Let's just upgrade my phone.
57
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,146
I like always having
the newest (BLEEP).
58
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:06,691
Okay, great.
You want me to just go ahead
59
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,617
and transfer
your contacts and calendar?
60
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,292
Oh, don't worry
about the calendar.
61
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:13,461
I got it all up here.
Here, I'll prove it to you.
62
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,660
Today, wake up,
brush my teeth,
63
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,733
eat, drink,
brush my teeth again,
64
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,601
take a shit,
brush my teeth again,
65
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,430
and then stay open
to new possibilities.
66
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,966
Is that all in your calendar?
67
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:26,641
Tomorrow, brush my teeth,
take a shit,
68
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,910
wake up, brush my teeth again.
69
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,879
Then, dance
like no one's watching.
70
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,878
Oh, actually,
you did forget one thing
for tomorrow.
71
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:37,381
It says, "LA Port
slowdown investigation due."
72
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:41,154
Oh, (BLEEP). Why didn't you
mother (BLEEP) remind me, man?
73
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,155
I can't believe
it's been 16 months.
74
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:45,957
At the most, it feels like
a year and a quarter.
At the most.
75
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,460
Maybe a year
and three-eighths.
76
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,491
Maybe even
a year and five-eighths.
77
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,526
No, that feels too long.
78
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,602
If anything, it feels like
exactly a year and a quarter.
79
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:58,602
But, whatever it is,
it damn sure don't feel
like 16 months went by.
80
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:02,566
I mean, if anything,
it feels something like
15 months and four weeks.
81
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,706
(SHIP HORN BLARING)
82
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:11,453
This is ridiculous.
We can't solve this mystery
in a single day.
83
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:13,922
We should just call
the city council or whoever
84
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,751
and say we can't do it
and give the money back.
85
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,056
PIGEON: We can't. It's gone.
86
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,417
-What?
-All $1.6 million?
87
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,656
What are you talking about?
88
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,261
I placed a wager and I lost.
89
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,433
What do you want me to do?
I said I was sorry.
90
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,831
-No, you didn't.
-Oh, I'm sorry.
91
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,074
Guys, we're gonna solve
this mystery.
92
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:31,139
We just need to get on
one of those ships
93
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,868
and pretend
we're ship workers.
94
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,543
Oh, yeah,
they'll all believe us
when we say
95
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,542
we're their fellow
ship workers.
96
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:41,854
Yeah, and then we'll see
firsthand who's responsible
for this slowdown.
97
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,619
Now, everybody buckle
98
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,277
-your mother (BLEEP)
seatbelts.
-MARQUESS: Michael, just...
99
00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:46,816
(MARQUESS SCREAMING)
100
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,320
Dad, what are you doing?
101
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,862
I'm getting us on that boat.
102
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,517
MARQUESS: (GASPS)
Michael, stop now!
103
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,755
YUNG: Dad!
104
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,130
We gotta be going
exactly 88 miles an hour
105
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,459
-when we hit
the end of the pier.
-YUNG: Dad, stop!
106
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:01,604
-(YUNG AND MARQUESS YELLING)
-Damn, here's a '73 Mercedes
Benz 450SL for $14,000.
107
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:06,002
-Silver, V8, 79,000 miles.
God, that's a great deal.
-YUNG: Dad...
108
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:07,666
Oh, shit.
We spent all the money.
109
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:10,235
Oh, my God.
We're gonna make it.
We're gonna make it!
110
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,028
(BANGING) Wake up.
111
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,757
-(MARQUESS GROANING)
-MIKE: What the...
112
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,597
Are you God?
113
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:33,729
Are we in heaven?
114
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,774
(LAUGHING)
115
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:45,379
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
116
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,579
You're not in heaven.
117
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:50,822
It's better than heaven.
118
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,348
This is Atlantis!
119
00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:56,363
(STAVROS CACKLING)
120
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:03,863
STAVROS: Stavros Petrakis.
I run the place.
121
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,160
Come on. Come on.
122
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:09,166
I don't have all (BLEEP) day.
123
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,539
How the (BLEEP)
did we get to Atlanta?
124
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,908
-MARQUESS: Oh, my God,
this place is foul.
-(GOATS BLEATING)
125
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,737
Are you guys hot?
126
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,513
-Ugh.
-STAVROS:
The air conditioning...
127
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,511
-Ugh, it's out again.
-(CHICKEN CLUCKING)
128
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:22,353
I gotta remember
to steal a new compressor.
129
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:25,549
Hey. Watch your step,
there's goat (BLEEP)
everywhere.
130
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,322
MARQUESS: Hmm. Ew.
131
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,291
(GOAT BLEATS)
132
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:36,502
(SIGHS) I think it
smells worse here
than it did back there.
133
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,866
Wait a second. Is that
the Port of Los Angeles?
134
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:46,670
I thought Atlantis was a Greek
island that sank somewhere
in the Mediterranean.
135
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,813
(CHUCKLING)
136
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:52,139
That was 3,000 years ago.
137
00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:54,306
You wanna live under the sea,
138
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:57,184
you gotta go
where the good (BLEEP) is.
139
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:59,794
And right now, it's up there.
140
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,617
You see?
That one's from China.
141
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,923
It's full of TVs, computers...
142
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,055
You know,
anything you want, baby.
143
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:10,100
-This is paradise.
-(CLICKS)
144
00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:12,896
(CLICKING)
145
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:15,330
(BLEEP) it.
This thing is always broken.
146
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,365
We take the stairs.
147
00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:19,371
Where do you think
he's taking us?
148
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,443
Well, based on
where he's taken us so far,
149
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,882
I'd say probably
the worst place on Earth.
150
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,447
Hey, Niarchos!
151
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:30,747
For the last time,
don't let your goat
piss at the fountain.
152
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,191
That's our drinking water!
153
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:34,887
(BLEEP) animal.
154
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,922
(STAVROS GRUNTING)
155
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,785
YUNG: So, you guys
are just taking advantage
of the slowdown at the port
156
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,933
to steal stuff?
157
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,728
(STAVROS LAUGHING)
158
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,259
"Taking advantage"?
159
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,674
We're the reason
for the slowdown, baby.
160
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,997
Those guys were moving
the stuff onto the shore
too fast.
161
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,273
No time to go through it
and get what we want.
162
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,912
But now, we got the unions
in our pocket.
163
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:58,538
But enough business.
You are our guests.
164
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:03,275
And everyone knows
a guest in the home
of a Greek is...
165
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:07,493
Is like a son returned
from the war to his mother
166
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,588
to suckle from her breast!
167
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:14,427
(BLEEP) Damn it.
(BLEEP) locked.
168
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:17,558
Maybe we didn't go
high enough. Come on.
169
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,904
(LIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
170
00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:23,501
(CROWD CHEERING)
171
00:08:27,306 --> 00:08:29,366
Man, I wanna get the hell
outta here.
172
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,576
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
173
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,551
Dance?
174
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,550
Did you say... (SNAPS)
175
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,252
Dance?
176
00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:42,594
No. I said, "I wanna get
the hell outta here."
177
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:45,693
-(SHATTERING)
-(BLEEP) Damn, man.
178
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,992
A piece of that plate
could have got in my eye,
mother (BLEEP).
179
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,285
Together.
180
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,826
-(CROWD CLAPPING)
-(MUSIC QUICKENING)
181
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,932
Let's go. (GRUNTS)
182
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,534
(LAUGHING)
183
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:59,766
-Down. (LAUGHS)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
184
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,213
Let's go! Down.
185
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:05,079
-(STAVROS LAUGHING)
-(MUSIC GROWS SPIRITED)
186
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,245
(PLATES SMASHING)
187
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,845
(GLASS BREAKING)
188
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:13,391
(FRENETIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
189
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:14,447
(GLASS SHATTERS)
190
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:16,885
(BOTTLE SMASHING)
191
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,490
(MUSIC ENDS)
192
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,056
YUNG: How did it go?
193
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,432
What'd you tell them?
194
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:25,834
Everything.
195
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,402
That we almost drowned,
196
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,801
that we had to (BLEEP)
swim outta there,
197
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,873
and that those
crazy Atlantis people...
198
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:34,642
I mean, they just kept dancing
and breaking (BLEEP).
199
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:37,081
Until they were all dead.
200
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,577
And I told them
they need to reimburse me
for the (BLEEP) van.
201
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,511
And what'd they say?
202
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:44,776
They kept saying
they would take everything
I said "under advisement."
203
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:48,015
And then I said,
"You don't (BLEEP)
believe me?"
204
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,391
And they said,
"Thank you, Mr. Tyson."
205
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,590
And I said, "Don't be (BLEEP)
patriotic with me."
206
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:57,264
But I meant to say,
"Don't be (BLEEP)
patronizing with me."
207
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,464
So, who the (BLEEP) know
what they think.
208
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,596
(BLEEP) those guys.
209
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:05,302
Hey, we're in LA.
You guys wanna see
the Hollywood Walk of Fame?
210
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,635
See if I got a star on there?
211
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:10,741
(BLEEP) Where's the (BLEEP)
Mystery Mobile?
212
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,484
I guess we gotta take a cab.
213
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,577
Taxi!
214
00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:18,646
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
215
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:19,722
(GASPING)
216
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:22,246
(SCREAMING)
217
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,785
STAVROS: Look at that behind!
218
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,160
(LAUGHING)
219
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:27,228
Baby!
220
00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,563
(LAUGHING)
221
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,431
(GRUNTING)
222
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,903
-STAVROS: Let's go!
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
223
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,431
(LAUGHING)
224
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,267
(GREEK MUSIC PLAYING)
225
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,223
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
16783
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