Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:03,000
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
2
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:39,273
Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
Hell no! Hell no!
3
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:40,643
-Dad, what's wrong?
-What is it, Michael?
4
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,441
We got termites again.
5
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,743
They said they got rid of 'em,
but they obviously
did not get rid of 'em.
6
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,906
Dad, I don't even
think it's moving.
7
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,115
Are you sure it's a termite?
8
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:51,717
Marquess, go float
up there and see.
9
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,319
Oh, I don't know
if I can go that high.
10
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,491
Well, you won't know
if you won't try, Marquess.
11
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:59,360
My goodness gracious!
This is our home!
12
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,130
You just gonna sit here
while that bug eats it all up?
13
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,759
Fine!
14
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:05,934
(GRUNTING)
15
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,203
(SIGHS)
16
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,999
Come on, Marquess,
you can do it.
17
00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:15,106
PIGEON: Is one of you
shitting in the kitchen again?
18
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,109
(SIGHS) I can't do it.
19
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,111
I don't know how to go up.
20
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,153
Yeah, you just, you just...
21
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:24,718
You just know how to go
down, right? (LAUGHS)
22
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,123
What are you
even talking about?
23
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,992
Like, get down on your knees.
24
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,660
(BLEEP) man, I'm...
25
00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:35,533
What is wrong with you?
26
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,859
Pigeon, we think
we got termites again.
27
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,125
Fly up there and see
if that's a termite.
28
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,301
I can't (BLEEP) fly.
29
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:45,044
Then how do you eat?
30
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:46,739
How do you catch a prey?
31
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,840
Don't you swoop down
and eat worms and mices,
32
00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:52,444
and little (BLEEP) critters?
33
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,676
I eat the same
(BLEEP) you eat.
34
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:59,852
I'm a human being.
I came in here for
a (BLEEP) bowl of cereal.
35
00:01:59,854 --> 00:02:03,294
Now, one of you
insensitive assholes is gonna
put this in a bowl for me?
36
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,220
Has anyone noticed,
I don't have (BLEEP) hands?
37
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,026
(BLEEP), you guys are rude.
38
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:10,197
What? You just told me
I (BLEEP) men off
and I'm rude. Okay.
39
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:14,627
Yeah,
it's a defense mechanism,
you (BLEEPING) eater
40
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:18,465
I'm the victim here.
I'm (BLEEP) handicapped!
41
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,412
If I was in
a (BLEEP) wheelchair,
42
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,377
you assholes would be
falling all over yourselves
to pour me cereal.
43
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:27,877
Is that what I need to do?
Get a little wheelchair to
remind you that I'm disabled?
44
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,952
I don't know
about a wheelchair,
45
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,364
but I think Pigeon would
look cute in a little car,
you know,
46
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:38,757
like a little
remote control sports car.
47
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:42,029
I bet if we can each
put in five bucks,
we can get him one.
48
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,729
You know, that would be fun
49
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:46,001
to, you know, to watch
that Pigeon ride
around in a little car.
50
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,940
Like, when you know,
um, when they show on
the news like, something like
51
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,337
a squirrel, you know,
riding around
on a skate board.
52
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,969
Now, that shit is cute.
53
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,006
Well, the good news is
that's not a termite.
54
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:00,613
Yeah, I didn't think so.
55
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,414
It looks like spaghetti sauce.
56
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,616
Maybe a little
cooking splatter.
57
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:07,318
But the bad news is, I did
see termites in the attic.
58
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,791
We got an attic? Ooh.
59
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,459
Well, team, say good-bye
to the house.
60
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:11,657
We got to burn it down.
61
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,429
What? No, we can tent it.
62
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,257
Uh-huh. I'm listening.
63
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:18,232
Specialized tarps are placed
over the entire structure.
64
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:21,402
They're weighted at the bottom
to create a seal
and hold in the fumigant,
65
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:25,202
penetrating all
wood timbers, trim,
finished wood and furniture,
66
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,206
as well as
hard-to-treat wall studs.
67
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,468
You can safely
return home in 2-3 days.
68
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,183
I'm sorry I wasn't listening.
69
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,809
Could you please repeat that?
70
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,454
Well, specialized tarps
are placed over
the entire structure.
71
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:40,490
They're weighted at the bottom
to create a seal
and hold in the fumigant,
72
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:43,287
penetrating all
wood timbers, trim,
finished wood and furniture,
73
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,520
as well as
hard-to-treat wall studs.
74
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:48,486
You can safely
return home in 2-3 days.
75
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,025
Okay, that time
I was listening.
76
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,231
But I stopped listening
sometime in the middle.
77
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,134
Maybe one more time?
78
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,865
Third time's a charm?
79
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,900
EXTERMINATOR: (SIGHS)
Specialized tarps are...
80
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,766
Can you believe
how many times I got
that (BLEEP) to say that?
81
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:02,905
(LAUGHS)
82
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,540
YUNG: Wait.
What are we doing here?
83
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,745
I thought we were
going to a hotel.
84
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,977
MIKE: We're not going anywhere
till we change out of these
termite-infested clothes.
85
00:04:09,984 --> 00:04:12,124
YUNG: What?
MARQUESS: Termites
don't eat clothing.
86
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:15,689
Oh, I'm sorry, Marquess,
are you an expert in termites?
87
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,089
Did you go to college
and major in termites?
88
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:21,432
No, you went to
Cambridge University in 1864,
89
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,328
and left two years later,
without a degree.
90
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:26,101
I read it on the Internet.
91
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,600
Oh, you read it, Michael?
92
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,301
I also read on there
something very upsetting about
93
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,974
you and this great poet
Oscar Wilde.
94
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:36,713
But that is a conversation
for another day.
95
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,940
I got some old stuff
in here we can wear.
96
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,806
Can't we just go to the mall
and buy new stuff?
97
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,084
Yung, I'm already
spending $3,000
98
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,323
to have a fumigant
dispensed into our house,
99
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:49,619
so it can penetrate
all of our wood timbers
and hard-to-treat wall studs.
100
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,563
No, we wear my old shit.
101
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,158
Everyone take your
clothes off now!
102
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,260
-What?
-PIGEON: Don't talk back
to your father!
103
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:58,362
I'm not getting naked.
Especially not
in front of him.
104
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:03,035
I mean, this is ridiculous.
Marquess, you agree
with me, right?
105
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:06,767
Holy lord! Why is your body
so perfect? What's that for?
106
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,744
Wow! Do you just stare
at yourself in the mirror?
107
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,382
I mean, that is
a great-looking body.
108
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,308
-Thank you.
-(CHUCKLING) Yeah. Whoa!
109
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:16,054
To think this whole time,
I've been jacking off
to the wrong person.
110
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,650
-No offense, Yung.
-(YUNG SIGHS)
111
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,451
Found it! Here's my old trunk.
112
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,654
A couple of old
Team Tyson t-shirts.
113
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,686
Man, some track pants.
114
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:27,392
Ooh! My old boom box.
115
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,704
Does anybody have
nine D batteries on 'em?
116
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,397
I bet Marquess does.
117
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:34,328
Marquess,
what kind of batteries
does your dildo take?
118
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:37,795
Uh, dildos don't
take batteries,
those are vibrators, so...
119
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,265
(CHUCKLES) Joke's on you.
120
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:40,773
Ha!
121
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,414
What? Wait, this is where
we're staying? A casino?
122
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:46,510
MIKE: By the way,
you're welcome for
giving you guys the t-shirts.
123
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,213
Damn, it's freezing in here!
124
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:52,015
Hot as (BLEEP) outside,
then all the places have
the AC cranked up?
125
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,019
Got to get the blood flowing,
gotta get warm.
126
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,951
WOMAN: Oh, damn!
That's Mike Tyson.
127
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,486
MARQUESS: Why is everyone
staring at us?
128
00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,992
I don't know.
129
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,193
How come we're not playing
that boom box, Marquess?
130
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,496
We stopped and got
all those damn batteries.
131
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,228
Otherwise, that was
a wasted trip.
132
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,474
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER BOOM BOX)
133
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,240
(CROWD CHEERING)
134
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:17,336
Oh, my God!
$2,000 for champagne?
135
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,014
What?
136
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,882
(SIGHS) Oh, man!
I left my phone at the house.
137
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,382
Hope they haven't
tented it yet.
138
00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:25,984
Dad, I'm going back
to the house to get my phone.
139
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,116
Okay, honey.
140
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:30,191
Hey! You guys wanna
go down to the pool?
141
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:33,020
I'm good, thanks. I think
I'm gonna just hit the slots.
142
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,655
I'd rather not be there
when he gets kicked out
of the pool for masturbating.
143
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:41,095
$28 for a chocolate bar?
144
00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:44,504
Ugh, great!
It's already tented.
145
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:45,835
What the (BLEEP)?
146
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,910
(CHANTING)
147
00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:06,162
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
148
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,933
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
149
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,229
-YUNG: (OVER PHONE) Dad!
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
150
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,701
Hey, baby, hold on.
151
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,570
-Room service!
-Oh, hey. Yeah, come on in.
152
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,370
-One second, honey.
-Dad!
153
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:21,272
Would you like for me
to leave it here
or set it up for you?
154
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,465
Okay, set it up please.
155
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:23,836
Dad, this is an emergency.
156
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,084
Would you like it
by the window,
157
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,678
or would you like it
by the sofa?
158
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,250
Oh, wow. I haven't thought
about either of those options.
159
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:32,579
Why don't you try
both places and we'll see
which one feels best?
160
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,716
-Just one second, baby.
-Dad!
161
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,761
MAN: Mmm-hmm.
162
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:38,787
Okay, here's option one.
163
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,732
Yeah, feels good,
but I worry about the glare.
164
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:42,988
Um, let's try the sofa.
165
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,296
Dad, there are Satanistsin our house.
166
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,158
Be with you
in a mere moment, sweetie.
167
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,266
Oh, my God.
168
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,727
They're doingsome crazy ritual.
169
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,195
-Okay, here's option two.
-Dad!
170
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:52,244
-This seems right...
-Dad, listen.
171
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,969
...but it just doesn't feel
special enough.
172
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,805
Can we try option one again?
173
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,410
The termite guyis using our house
174
00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:00,512
to lead some kindof devil worship.
175
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,114
Holy (BLEEP)
176
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,945
Are you serious?
Okay, don't worry,
I'm on my way.
177
00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:07,891
(GASPS) Dad!
178
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,018
Oh, I'm gonna beat the (BLEEP)
out of these (BLEEP).
179
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,463
-Can you sign, please?
-Oh, oh, of course.
180
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,589
Oh, oops!
181
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,756
I added a gratuity,
I didn't see there was
already a service charge.
182
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:21,695
Is it okay
if I just cross that out?
183
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,502
Seems a little
excessive, right?
184
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:26,874
You know what?
Why am I making such
a big deal out of this?
185
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,844
Who am I to say
you shouldn't get two tips?
186
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,482
I just spent $28
on a (BLEEP) candy bar.
187
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:34,908
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll have to go kill
some Satanists.
188
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:37,882
MARQUESS: (GASPS)
Oh, no, that's nothing.
189
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,415
PIGEON: Get your (BLEEP)
hands off me.
190
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,049
MARQUESS: Oh, dear Lord.
191
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,194
If you don't want somebody
to masturbate by the pool,
192
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,790
then you put a (BLEEP) sign up
that says "Don't masturbate
by the (BLEEP) pool!"
193
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:49,133
Come on, guys!
I'm fighting tonight.
194
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,729
WOMAN: He, he's gonna fight.
I love you, Mike!
195
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,161
MAN: Come on!
Tyson's gonna fight!
196
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,495
(CROWD CHEERING)
197
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:56,600
The blood of a virgin
calls upon you, our dark Lord.
198
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,803
-(CHANTING STOPS)
-Well, I'm a virgin by choice.
199
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:00,735
So...
200
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,111
I mean, I could sleep
with anyone I want.
I just haven't wanted to,
201
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:06,380
so that's the only reason
I'm a virgin, you know.
202
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,350
And I'm sure
it's gonna happen soon,
so, you know, if...
203
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,649
If this whole thing
is dependent on me
being a virgin,
204
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:16,252
then you guys lucked out,
because, like, tomorrow,
if I wanted to,
205
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,516
I could not be
a virgin anymore.
206
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,456
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
207
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:30,297
After eons of time,
208
00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:34,144
I, Satan, am reborn
to usher in
209
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,271
an age of evil, and...
210
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:39,176
Keep the (BLEEP) away from
my daughter, (BLEEP).
211
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,879
Get the (BLEEP)
out of my house,
you creepy (BLEEP).
212
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,282
I better not see a termite
213
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,423
or I'm gonna come
kick your ass!
214
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,789
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
215
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,617
Who the (BLEEP) are all y'all?
216
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,162
(YUNG SIGHS)
217
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:53,827
Oh, Yung. Let's get you
out of this horrible thing.
218
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,657
(GASPS) Oh! Oh, here.
Here, take this.
219
00:09:56,663 --> 00:10:01,503
Well, well, well.
Now, I don't know
who to jack-off to.
220
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,108
Oh, man, look at that.
221
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,884
He can do donuts in this.
Look. Oh! Watch!
He's doing a donut.
222
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,683
Look at him doing the donut.
223
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:21,185
(REMOTE CONTROL CAR WHIRRING)
224
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:24,218
Wow!
225
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:28,234
Wow! Come back.
226
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,228
Pigeon.
17858
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
