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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:03,004 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:34,598 MIKE: Come on, guys. We got a new message. 3 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:37,602 Hey, what the hell? We got a new message. 4 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:38,835 "Is Magic real?" 5 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,569 Signed, an Old Wizard. 6 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:45,105 PIGEON: Hmm. A wizard who's lost his faith in magic. 7 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,452 That's ironic. 8 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,576 Ironic and sad. 9 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,182 You guys believe in magic, right? 10 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,684 PIGEON: No. MARQUESS: No, not really. 11 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:54,315 But you're a ghost. I think you're kind of magic. 12 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:57,021 Mmm... No, sorry, I just don't. 13 00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,024 I've always been a man of reason. 14 00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,856 Come on, man, what about you? You were turned into a pigeon by a witch. 15 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,032 Well, slow down, there. 16 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:07,301 Sandra said she was gonna turn me into a pigeon if I cheated on her one more time. 17 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,601 I, of course, immediately cheated on her. 18 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:10,803 But then, you know what? 19 00:01:10,805 --> 00:01:13,035 I think I would have just, uh, transformed... 20 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,910 into a pigeon on my own. 21 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,810 Like, I think it would, uh... 22 00:01:17,812 --> 00:01:20,682 You know. What's gonna happen's gonna happen. 23 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,351 Nope, there's no magic in this world, my friend. 24 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,320 Yung, you believe in magic, right? 25 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,649 I believe in the magic of hard work. 26 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:28,945 The magic of hard work? 27 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,386 That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard. 28 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:35,032 Are the only ones left that believe in magic me and this Old Wizard? 29 00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:36,629 Well, you can't include him. 30 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:40,070 Clearly he's not sure, or he wouldn't be asking the question. 31 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,927 (GASPS) 32 00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:44,566 All of you cold-hearted skepticalities is causing a flight or... 33 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,412 -fight feeling in my body. -What? 34 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,578 All of you cold-hearted skepticalities 35 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:52,407 is causing a fight or flight feeling in my body. 36 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,213 Oh, uh... still what. 37 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,345 To the Mystery Mobile! 38 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,250 PIGEON: No. No. No, no, no! 39 00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,622 Don't close the blinds. 40 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,861 YUNG: Dad! MARQUESS: Michael! 41 00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:04,987 MARQUESS: Slow down! MIKE: It's fight or flight, Marquess, and I'm flighty. 42 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:08,032 We gotta find out once and for all, is there magic in this world, 43 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,328 and then find the Old Wizard and tell him. 44 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:15,031 And then, and only then, will this fight or flight feeling leave. 45 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,435 And go away. 46 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,397 PIGEON: Why do you care about magic so much? 47 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,305 I have been through some real hard times, 48 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,837 and to get through them, I believe that there is something out there. 49 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,754 Like, um, someone had a plan for me. 50 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,620 That my life had a purpose. 51 00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:32,617 -You mean, like, God? -No, not that fairytale stuff, honey. 52 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,220 I'm talking about leprechauns. 53 00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:36,121 -Oh, my. -That's right. 54 00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:39,323 I once saw a real live leprechaun, while visiting the Emerald Isles. 55 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,026 If he exists, then that proves that magic exists. 56 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,359 To the Mystery Mobile! 57 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:44,804 We're in the Mystery Mobile, Dad. 58 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,028 Are we really going to Ireland? 59 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:50,374 No. The Emerald Isle Bar and Grill inside the Camelot Hotel. 60 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,241 You can't drive to Ireland, Marquess. 61 00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:56,711 Where's the Emerald Isle at? 62 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,980 Wait! Why don't you ask him? Isn't he a magician? 63 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,780 No way. He doesn't do magic. He does illusions. 64 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,583 Like, I got your nose or something. 65 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,115 It's okay, Marquess. It's okay. I don't have your nose. 66 00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,751 It's just my thumb tip. 67 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,886 MIKE: It's just an illusion. MARQUESS: Yeah, I wasn't worried. 68 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,861 It's just a mean thing to do to kids, okay? 69 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,290 MARQUESS: Michael. Michael! YUNG: Dad, where are you going? 70 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,196 -Stop abusing kids! -(CROWD GASPING) 71 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,798 -Oh, my... Michael! -YUNG: Dad! 72 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,970 -The Emerald Isle! -Michael, stop running away. 73 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:25,699 I was here one time, and the whole place was decorated in green. 74 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,806 And everyone here was wearing green. 75 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,738 And the beer was green. And it was crazy how everything was green. 76 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,714 I think it was Valentine's Day or something. 77 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,983 And you were here. And you were a leprechaun. 78 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,522 Saint Patrick's Day. 79 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:39,117 They make me put on costume. For joke. 80 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,449 It was a costume? 81 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,094 You're not a leprechaun? 82 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,059 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 83 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,588 There's no such thing. 84 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,563 MAN: You want some rose? 85 00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,931 MIKE: I guess since that guy wasn't a leprechaun, 86 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,644 there really isn't no magic in this world, huh? 87 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,937 I don't know how we're gonna ever break this to the Old Wizard who sent the note. 88 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,710 I don't know how we're ever gonna find the Old Wizard who sent the note. 89 00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,280 PIGEON: Well, you know what I don't know? 90 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,748 Is why we're doing any of it. Ever. 91 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,424 Lost ticket pay's max, lords and ladies. 92 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,988 -You're the Old Wizard! -You got my note! 93 00:04:13,988 --> 00:04:18,018 No way! The chances that we run into you, man... Aw, it gots to be magic. 94 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:21,185 I... I wrote on the note exactly where to find me. 95 00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:25,095 "You can find me in the parking garage of the Camelot Hotel." 96 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,469 Damn. 97 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,367 -Not magic. -(CAR HONKING) 98 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,299 Why... Why don't we go somewhere else and hear this wizard's story? 99 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,014 (GASPING) I know his story. 100 00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:35,767 MIKE: He's not a wizard. He's a professional gambler. 101 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,476 His nickname was the Wizard because of his beard. 102 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:40,449 They also call him "That ZZ Top Guy," 103 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,817 but the Wizard was more appropriate, because he was like magic. 104 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:47,547 How he always seemed to know what card was next. 105 00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,894 Hit me. 106 00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,620 MIKE: The Wizard got the second greatest hot streak of all time. 107 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,756 The first was by another guy that we're not gonna talk about right now. 108 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:59,333 Then, out of nowhere, the casino lights shut down. 109 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,873 What are you assholes doing? 110 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,569 MIKE: They said the Wizard was cheating, and banned him forever, 111 00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:08,941 and forced him to pay back his winnings by working here for $5 an hour. 112 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,542 -(CARS HONKING) -How could I possibly know all that? 113 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:14,505 -It's magic! -No. That was also on the note. 114 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,005 -Flip it open there. -(HONKING CONTINUES) 115 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,046 MARQUESS: Michael, they're honking. 116 00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:20,622 It's like a comic book. It got a bunch of drawings and stuff. 117 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,851 OLD WIZARD: Well, I was worried you might be illiterate. 118 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,686 I wasn't cheating and it wasn't luck. 119 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,392 I felt it. It was magic. 120 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,263 There is no other explanation. 121 00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:31,462 But then they banned me and I haven't felt it since. 122 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:35,125 Gang, we gotta get the Wizard gambling again to prove, once and for all, 123 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,735 that magic is real! 124 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,997 Well, if he's banned from the casino, how can he gamble again? 125 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,366 I know a game, a little more private. 126 00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:44,075 MARQUESS: Okay, if we're gonna keep talking, we should get out of line. 127 00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,208 -The one at the Sahara? -Oh, no, I'm banned from that one. 128 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,483 -The one at Imperial? -MARQUESS: This is just insensitive. 129 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,952 PIGEON: No. A bunch of guys got stabbed at that one. 130 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,621 -(HONKING CONTINUES) -The one at the Mandalay Bay? 131 00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,549 PIGEON: There isn't one at Mandalay Bay. 132 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,315 And... stop guessing! 133 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:59,223 -I could have told you where it was 45 minutes ago. -(HONKING CONTINUES) 134 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:03,896 Just pay the ticket and pull out of here, and we can come back and talk to this man. 135 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,697 -The one at Camelot? -(HONKING CONTINUES) 136 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,569 -Stop honking! -Mike, Mike, Mike! 137 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,398 -Dad, where are you going? -MARQUESS: It's our fault! 138 00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:11,773 -MARQUESS: This is insanity. -WOMAN: Get your car out of there! 139 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,472 I gotta take him to the hospital! 140 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,714 How was I supposed to know you had to go to the hospital, you idiot? 141 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,439 Why the hell does it take you an hour to get out of the parking garage? 142 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,375 MIKE: Cause I was having a conversation with a wizard! 143 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,251 MARQUESS: Oh, just get back in the car, Michael. 144 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,449 -(WOMAN YELLING) -Michael, just get back in the car! 145 00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:29,723 Hey, Oleg. Got a late add. 146 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:41,432 What's the buy-in? 147 00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,195 PIGEON: A million. Mike'll stake you. 148 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,073 What? I don't have a million dollars. 149 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,342 In fact, I don't even think I can afford to keep solving mysteries, you guys. 150 00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:50,442 Huh. Man, I gotta get a real job. 151 00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:53,754 -Not tonight, you don't. -MARQUESS: What are you talking about? 152 00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:59,478 -YUNG: (GROANING) Oh, God. -MARQUESS: Who is he talking to? 153 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,216 MARQUESS: Who is that? 154 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,521 OLD WIZARD: Is that Robert Redford? 155 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:06,661 You're in. 156 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,104 How the hell did you do that? 157 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,330 Robert Redford's always hanging out at these hotels 158 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,935 offering people a million dollars to sleep with their wives. 159 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,838 I told him he could sleep with mine. 160 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,640 I think I saw a movie about that one time. It starred Paul Newman. 161 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,014 Wait a minute. You're divorced. 162 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,682 -I told him Yung Hee was my wife. -What? 163 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,511 Yeah, relax, she's 18. 164 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:32,676 She needs the experience. (CHUCKLING) 165 00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:41,193 Oh, no, I got that fight or flight feeling again and I'm flighty! 166 00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:44,955 MAN: Ow! MIKE: Sorry, sir. Come on, come on. 167 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,995 (BLEEP) it. Excuse me, fight or flight, coming through. 168 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,001 MIKE: Excuse me! Fight or flight is on his way! 169 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,104 (WOMAN SCREAMS) 170 00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,012 Excuse me, ma'am. Fight or flight. 171 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,205 Fight or flight! 172 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,279 ROBERT: What? MIKE: Stop abusing kids! 173 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,851 -Dad! -You shouldn't sleep with somebody for money. 174 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,751 He didn't want to sleep with me. 175 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:08,752 He wants me to come to the Sundance Institute and study filmmaking. 176 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,255 Then why are you wearing that dress? 177 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,617 This is the Sundance Film Institute school uniform. 178 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,456 They used to have those varsity jackets, 179 00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,561 but Robert found out the leather sleeves weren't vegan leather, 180 00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,233 and so now everyone at Sundance wears this. 181 00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,202 Then why would he give the Pigeon a million dollars? 182 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,970 Because there are so few Asian American female directors. 183 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:25,070 He's desperate for us to have our voices heard. 184 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,042 MIKE: Paul Newman is kind of like an angel, huh? 185 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,710 -YUNG: Robert Redford. -What about him? 186 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,782 Oh, good. The Wizard's still in the game! 187 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,381 MARQUESS: Oh, look at you! That's cute. 188 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:39,124 -I'm all in. -(CROWD EXCLAIMING) 189 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,920 -(CROWD GASPING) -OLD WIZARD: What? 190 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,592 -(MAN GIGGLING) -I saw your cards! 191 00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,061 OLD WIZARD: How could this happen? 192 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,159 Was I always just imagining seeing their cards? 193 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,702 Was I seeing? 194 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,597 Somebody answer me. 195 00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:56,769 Is there really no magic in the world? 196 00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:01,871 (MAN SPUTTERING) 197 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,005 YUNG: What's wrong with him? 198 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,910 -OLD WIZARD: Jesus. -(MAN GURGLING) 199 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,908 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 200 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,684 -(MARQUESS YELPING) -(YUNG SCREAMING) 201 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,254 (MUTTERING IN SPANISH) 202 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:15,652 (MUTTERING CONTINUES) 203 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:18,156 -(MARQUESS GASPING) -Soy leprechaun! 204 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,518 I'm a leprechaun. 205 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,586 (LEPRECHAUN GIGGLING) 206 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,267 Do we all have leprechauns inside of us? 207 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,467 Probably. 208 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:32,639 And that's that magic that we... 209 00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:34,839 That we sense in the world. 210 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,341 And when they rip out of us... 211 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,536 we'll die. 212 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:42,875 But are we really alive if leprechauns are controlling us? 213 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:48,190 Well, maybe that's a film you could make at Sundance, Yung Hee. 214 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,788 Explore the question of what it's like for an Asian American woman 215 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,592 to have a leprechaun inside of her. 216 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,525 (PIGEON LAUGHING) 217 00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:59,530 Ah. I'm sorry. 218 00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:02,333 I just... Please, make that film. 219 00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:06,166 Because I think there are a lot of people who want to see what it's like 220 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:10,283 for an Asian American woman to have a leprechaun inside of her. 221 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,677 (LAUGHING) 222 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,753 (CHUCKLING) 223 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,370 Is this your card? 224 00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:42,373 All right. I told you, magic do exist. 18464

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