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1
00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:03,004
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:34,598
MIKE: Come on, guys.
We got a new message.
3
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:37,602
Hey, what the hell?
We got a new message.
4
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:38,835
"Is Magic real?"
5
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,569
Signed, an Old Wizard.
6
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:45,105
PIGEON: Hmm.
A wizard who's lost
his faith in magic.
7
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,452
That's ironic.
8
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,576
Ironic and sad.
9
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,182
You guys believe in
magic, right?
10
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,684
PIGEON: No.
MARQUESS: No, not really.
11
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:54,315
But you're a ghost.
I think you're kind of magic.
12
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:57,021
Mmm...
No, sorry, I just don't.
13
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,024
I've always been a
man of reason.
14
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,856
Come on, man, what about you?
You were turned into a pigeon
by a witch.
15
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,032
Well, slow down, there.
16
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:07,301
Sandra said she was gonna
turn me into a pigeon if I
cheated on her one more time.
17
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,601
I, of course, immediately
cheated on her.
18
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:10,803
But then, you know what?
19
00:01:10,805 --> 00:01:13,035
I think I would have just,
uh, transformed...
20
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,910
into a pigeon on my own.
21
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,810
Like, I think it would, uh...
22
00:01:17,812 --> 00:01:20,682
You know.
What's gonna happen's
gonna happen.
23
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,351
Nope, there's no magic in
this world, my friend.
24
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,320
Yung, you believe
in magic, right?
25
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,649
I believe in the magic
of hard work.
26
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:28,945
The magic of hard work?
27
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,386
That's the most depressing
thing I've ever heard.
28
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:35,032
Are the only ones left
that believe in magic me
and this Old Wizard?
29
00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:36,629
Well, you can't include him.
30
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:40,070
Clearly he's not sure,
or he wouldn't be asking
the question.
31
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,927
(GASPS)
32
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:44,566
All of you cold-hearted
skepticalities is causing
a flight or...
33
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,412
-fight feeling in my body.
-What?
34
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,578
All of you cold-hearted
skepticalities
35
00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:52,407
is causing a fight or
flight feeling in my body.
36
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,213
Oh, uh... still what.
37
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,345
To the Mystery Mobile!
38
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,250
PIGEON: No. No.
No, no, no!
39
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,622
Don't close the blinds.
40
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,861
YUNG: Dad!
MARQUESS: Michael!
41
00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:04,987
MARQUESS: Slow down!
MIKE: It's fight or flight,
Marquess, and I'm flighty.
42
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:08,032
We gotta find out
once and for all, is there
magic in this world,
43
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,328
and then find the Old Wizard
and tell him.
44
00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:15,031
And then, and only then,
will this fight or flight
feeling leave.
45
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,435
And go away.
46
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,397
PIGEON: Why do you care
about magic so much?
47
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,305
I have been through
some real hard times,
48
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,837
and to get through them,
I believe that there
is something out there.
49
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,754
Like, um, someone
had a plan for me.
50
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,620
That my life had a purpose.
51
00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:32,617
-You mean, like, God?
-No, not that fairytale
stuff, honey.
52
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,220
I'm talking about leprechauns.
53
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:36,121
-Oh, my.
-That's right.
54
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:39,323
I once saw a real live
leprechaun, while visiting
the Emerald Isles.
55
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,026
If he exists, then
that proves that magic exists.
56
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,359
To the Mystery Mobile!
57
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:44,804
We're in the
Mystery Mobile, Dad.
58
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,028
Are we really going
to Ireland?
59
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:50,374
No.
The Emerald Isle Bar and Grill
inside the Camelot Hotel.
60
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,241
You can't drive to Ireland,
Marquess.
61
00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:56,711
Where's the Emerald Isle at?
62
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,980
Wait! Why don't you ask him?
Isn't he a magician?
63
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,780
No way.
He doesn't do magic.
He does illusions.
64
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,583
Like, I got your nose
or something.
65
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,115
It's okay, Marquess.
It's okay.
I don't have your nose.
66
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,751
It's just my thumb tip.
67
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,886
MIKE: It's just an illusion.
MARQUESS:
Yeah, I wasn't worried.
68
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,861
It's just a mean thing to
do to kids, okay?
69
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,290
MARQUESS: Michael. Michael!
YUNG: Dad,
where are you going?
70
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,196
-Stop abusing kids!
-(CROWD GASPING)
71
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,798
-Oh, my... Michael!
-YUNG: Dad!
72
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,970
-The Emerald Isle!
-Michael, stop running away.
73
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:25,699
I was here one time,
and the whole place was
decorated in green.
74
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,806
And everyone here was
wearing green.
75
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,738
And the beer was green.
And it was crazy how
everything was green.
76
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,714
I think it was Valentine's Day
or something.
77
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,983
And you were here.
And you were a leprechaun.
78
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,522
Saint Patrick's Day.
79
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:39,117
They make me put on costume.
For joke.
80
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,449
It was a costume?
81
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,094
You're not a leprechaun?
82
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,059
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
83
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,588
There's no such thing.
84
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,563
MAN:
You want some rose?
85
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,931
MIKE: I guess since
that guy wasn't a leprechaun,
86
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,644
there really isn't no magic
in this world, huh?
87
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,937
I don't know how we're
gonna ever break this to the
Old Wizard who sent the note.
88
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,710
I don't know how we're ever
gonna find the Old Wizard
who sent the note.
89
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,280
PIGEON: Well, you know
what I don't know?
90
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,748
Is why we're doing any of it.
Ever.
91
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,424
Lost ticket pay's max,
lords and ladies.
92
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,988
-You're the Old Wizard!
-You got my note!
93
00:04:13,988 --> 00:04:18,018
No way! The chances
that we run into you, man...
Aw, it gots to be magic.
94
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:21,185
I... I wrote on the note
exactly where to find me.
95
00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:25,095
"You can find me
in the parking garage of
the Camelot Hotel."
96
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,469
Damn.
97
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,367
-Not magic.
-(CAR HONKING)
98
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,299
Why... Why don't we
go somewhere else and hear
this wizard's story?
99
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,014
(GASPING)
I know his story.
100
00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:35,767
MIKE: He's not a wizard.He's a professional gambler.
101
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,476
His nickname was the Wizardbecause of his beard.
102
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:40,449
They also call him"That ZZ Top Guy,"
103
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,817
but the Wizard wasmore appropriate, becausehe was like magic.
104
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:47,547
How he always seemed to knowwhat card was next.
105
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,894
Hit me.
106
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,620
MIKE: The Wizard gotthe second greatesthot streak of all time.
107
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,756
The first was by another guythat we're not gonnatalk about right now.
108
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:59,333
Then, out of nowhere,the casino lights shut down.
109
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,873
What are you assholes doing?
110
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,569
MIKE: They saidthe Wizard was cheating,and banned him forever,
111
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:08,941
and forced him to pay backhis winnings by workinghere for $5 an hour.
112
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,542
-(CARS HONKING)
-How could I possibly
know all that?
113
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:14,505
-It's magic!
-No. That was also
on the note.
114
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,005
-Flip it open there.
-(HONKING CONTINUES)
115
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,046
MARQUESS:
Michael, they're honking.
116
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:20,622
It's like a comic book.
It got a bunch of
drawings and stuff.
117
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,851
OLD WIZARD:
Well, I was worried
you might be illiterate.
118
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,686
I wasn't cheating and
it wasn't luck.
119
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,392
I felt it.
It was magic.
120
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,263
There is no other explanation.
121
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:31,462
But then they banned me
and I haven't felt it since.
122
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:35,125
Gang, we gotta get the Wizard
gambling again to prove,
once and for all,
123
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,735
that magic is real!
124
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,997
Well, if he's banned
from the casino,
how can he gamble again?
125
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,366
I know a game,
a little more private.
126
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:44,075
MARQUESS: Okay, if we're
gonna keep talking,
we should get out of line.
127
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,208
-The one at the Sahara?
-Oh, no, I'm banned
from that one.
128
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,483
-The one at Imperial?
-MARQUESS:
This is just insensitive.
129
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,952
PIGEON: No. A bunch of guys
got stabbed at that one.
130
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,621
-(HONKING CONTINUES)
-The one at the Mandalay Bay?
131
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,549
PIGEON: There isn't one
at Mandalay Bay.
132
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,315
And...
stop guessing!
133
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:59,223
-I could have told you
where it was 45 minutes ago.
-(HONKING CONTINUES)
134
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:03,896
Just pay the ticket and pull
out of here, and we can come
back and talk to this man.
135
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,697
-The one at Camelot?
-(HONKING CONTINUES)
136
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,569
-Stop honking!
-Mike, Mike, Mike!
137
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,398
-Dad, where are you going?
-MARQUESS: It's our fault!
138
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:11,773
-MARQUESS: This is insanity.
-WOMAN:
Get your car out of there!
139
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,472
I gotta take him to
the hospital!
140
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,714
How was I supposed
to know you had to go to
the hospital, you idiot?
141
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,439
Why the hell does it
take you an hour to get out
of the parking garage?
142
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,375
MIKE: Cause I was
having a conversation
with a wizard!
143
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,251
MARQUESS:
Oh, just get back in
the car, Michael.
144
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,449
-(WOMAN YELLING)
-Michael, just get back
in the car!
145
00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:29,723
Hey, Oleg.
Got a late add.
146
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:41,432
What's the buy-in?
147
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,195
PIGEON: A million.
Mike'll stake you.
148
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,073
What? I don't have a
million dollars.
149
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,342
In fact, I don't even think
I can afford to keep solving
mysteries, you guys.
150
00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:50,442
Huh.
Man, I gotta get a real job.
151
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:53,754
-Not tonight, you don't.
-MARQUESS:
What are you talking about?
152
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:59,478
-YUNG: (GROANING) Oh, God.
-MARQUESS:
Who is he talking to?
153
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,216
MARQUESS:
Who is that?
154
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,521
OLD WIZARD:
Is that Robert Redford?
155
00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:06,661
You're in.
156
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,104
How the hell did you do that?
157
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,330
Robert Redford's always
hanging out at these hotels
158
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,935
offering people
a million dollars to sleep
with their wives.
159
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,838
I told him he could
sleep with mine.
160
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,640
I think I saw a movie about
that one time.
It starred Paul Newman.
161
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,014
Wait a minute.
You're divorced.
162
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,682
-I told him Yung Hee
was my wife.
-What?
163
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,511
Yeah, relax, she's 18.
164
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:32,676
She needs the experience.
(CHUCKLING)
165
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:41,193
Oh, no, I got that
fight or flight feeling again
and I'm flighty!
166
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:44,955
MAN: Ow!
MIKE: Sorry, sir.
Come on, come on.
167
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,995
(BLEEP) it.
Excuse me, fight or flight,
coming through.
168
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,001
MIKE: Excuse me!
Fight or flight is on his way!
169
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,104
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
170
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,012
Excuse me, ma'am.
Fight or flight.
171
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,205
Fight or flight!
172
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,279
ROBERT: What?
MIKE: Stop abusing kids!
173
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,851
-Dad!
-You shouldn't sleep with
somebody for money.
174
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,751
He didn't want to
sleep with me.
175
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:08,752
He wants me to come to
the Sundance Institute and
study filmmaking.
176
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,255
Then why are you
wearing that dress?
177
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,617
This is the Sundance
Film Institute school uniform.
178
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,456
They used to have
those varsity jackets,
179
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,561
but Robert found out
the leather sleeves
weren't vegan leather,
180
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,233
and so now everyone
at Sundance wears this.
181
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,202
Then why would he give
the Pigeon a million dollars?
182
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,970
Because there are
so few Asian American
female directors.
183
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:25,070
He's desperate for us
to have our voices heard.
184
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,042
MIKE: Paul Newman
is kind of like an angel, huh?
185
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,710
-YUNG: Robert Redford.
-What about him?
186
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,782
Oh, good. The Wizard's
still in the game!
187
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,381
MARQUESS:
Oh, look at you!
That's cute.
188
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:39,124
-I'm all in.
-(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
189
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,920
-(CROWD GASPING)
-OLD WIZARD: What?
190
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,592
-(MAN GIGGLING)
-I saw your cards!
191
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,061
OLD WIZARD:
How could this happen?
192
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,159
Was I always just imagining
seeing their cards?
193
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,702
Was I seeing?
194
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,597
Somebody answer me.
195
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:56,769
Is there really
no magic in the world?
196
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:01,871
(MAN SPUTTERING)
197
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,005
YUNG:
What's wrong with him?
198
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,910
-OLD WIZARD: Jesus.
-(MAN GURGLING)
199
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,908
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
200
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,684
-(MARQUESS YELPING)
-(YUNG SCREAMING)
201
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,254
(MUTTERING IN SPANISH)
202
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:15,652
(MUTTERING CONTINUES)
203
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:18,156
-(MARQUESS GASPING)
-Soy leprechaun!
204
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,518
I'm a leprechaun.
205
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,586
(LEPRECHAUN GIGGLING)
206
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,267
Do we all have leprechauns
inside of us?
207
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,467
Probably.
208
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:32,639
And that's that magic
that we...
209
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:34,839
That we sense in the world.
210
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,341
And when they rip out of us...
211
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,536
we'll die.
212
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:42,875
But are we really alive
if leprechauns
are controlling us?
213
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:48,190
Well, maybe that's a film
you could make at Sundance,
Yung Hee.
214
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,788
Explore the question of
what it's like for an
Asian American woman
215
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,592
to have a leprechaun
inside of her.
216
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,525
(PIGEON LAUGHING)
217
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:59,530
Ah.
I'm sorry.
218
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:02,333
I just...
Please, make that film.
219
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:06,166
Because I think there
are a lot of people who want
to see what it's like
220
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:10,283
for an Asian American
woman to have a
leprechaun inside of her.
221
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,677
(LAUGHING)
222
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,753
(CHUCKLING)
223
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,370
Is this your card?
224
00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:42,373
All right.
I told you, magic do exist.
18464
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