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This programme contains
very strong language from the start.
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MUSIC: It's Gonna Rain
by Rev Milton Brunson
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# See the clouds gathering. #
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00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,200
Hey, mate. Oh, hey.
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You all right?
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00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,040
Yeah.
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Sure?
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Yeah, just tired, yeah.
You all right?
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Yeah, good.
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Ooh, happy Halloween. You too.
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MUSIC: Oblivion by Grimes
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00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,960
What about me? Why can't we
have a White History Month?
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Oh, what if we had a Straight Pride
Day? Why can't we have a Men's Day?
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Whining, temper tantrums, like
fucking little fragile children.
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We get a day. You get a lifetime,
knowing that you are likely
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00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,960
to walk free from rape...
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..so shut the fuck up.
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This is why I be hating
straight white guys
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and you're not making it really
hard for me to change my mind.
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# I will wait forever
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# Always looking straight
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# Thinking, counting,
all the hours you wait
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# Ooh ah-ah
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# See you on a dark night
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# Ooh ah-ah. #
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Doxing.
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# See you on a dark night
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00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,280
# Ooh ah-ah
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# See you on a dark night
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# Ooh. #
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So, er, the readings have come back
fine on the CT scan. With regards to
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that everything is in order.
Really? Yay!
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Your blood pressure results,
however... Sorry, one sec.
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As you know you can't give peace,
unless you have peace.
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00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,800
I had a CT scan to
check in with the mind
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00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,880
so for anybody who thinks I'm
crazy for having Insta
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00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,720
and Twitter wars with rapists
and life destroyers every day,
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00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,640
you can relax.
I have the all-clear. Yay!
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00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,480
Besides, it's not every day.
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Thursday I'm sat with my pompom
on your dad's face. Ask him.
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I care for him, I care for me.
Care of self, self care.
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I encourage you all to
manifest it into your daily lives,
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hold tight the NHS.
Hold tight, babes,
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I'm booking my appointment.
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00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:33,400
Oh, hey, snuggle bunnies, it's me -
@TheRealTerryPratchard.
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Be good to those who love you
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because those who love
you are good to you.
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Thought I'd trick a motherfucker
because it's Halloween, bitch ass.
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00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,480
Argh!
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00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,280
Back in the room, I'm sorry.
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00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,880
Er, so, yes, you will need
to monitor that.
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00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,480
What? The blood pressure. Oh.
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00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,280
The higher the blood pressure,
the bigger the knock-on effect
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00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,720
on the kidneys, which
are already at an elevated risk
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00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:01,600
due to your being of Afro-Caribbean
origin. Erm, are there any new...
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00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,080
That was racial ignorance.
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00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:07,280
I'm not Afro-Caribbean,
I'm actually African.
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There's a unity and a distinction
between those places
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00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,640
and as a London doctor you should
be aware of those things
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00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,440
to avoid generalising people
of colour and accidentally
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00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,320
becoming a deeply problematic
member of your profession.
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00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,520
I'm sorry, it's just the term
used on the reports.
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00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,960
It's got something to do with
the form you keep pointing to,
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00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,720
maybe tell the big boss of
the pharmaceutical neuro whatnot
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00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,760
to change the form.
Who makes the form? Who makes the...
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00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,640
I just want them to tell me
what they mean by Afro-Caribbean,
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00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:34,280
given it's not where I'm from and
it's used to describe my origin.
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00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,480
I-I don't know.
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00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,080
Is that the extent
of your diagnosis?
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00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,720
"Hello, Arabella, you're
Caribbean and I don't know."
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00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,080
So, why is her blood pressure high?
That's what I don't know.
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00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,400
She doesn't smoke. No, she
just vapes now. That's all.
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00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:03,240
Oh. What? Well, vaping isn't...
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00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:04,760
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
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00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:08,360
Do you agree that vaping is better
than smoking? Well, yes...
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00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,520
Then that's all
we need to say about it.
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00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,680
But if there's a predisposition
to kidney problems,
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00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,520
then it's better just to get
rid of the vape completely.
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00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,480
Doc, I think my friend is stressed.
Do you confirm? Yes.
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00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,240
And the rape's stressful,
do you confirm? Yes.
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00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,920
And other stressed people
asking her to defend them
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00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:30,040
and expose rapists, abusers
and paedos, and she does this day
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00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,320
and night, via phone screen.
Stressful, do you confirm? Yes.
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00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,360
So why would we tell
her to stop vaping
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00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,040
if it doesn't take a professional
to see that the stress
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00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:42,280
from the phone will kill her faster
than any puff of nicotine ever will?
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00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,240
MUSIC: Energy by Jean Deaux
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00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,880
# Nah, I don't like it,
I don't like it
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# I don't like it at all
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00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,360
# I don't like your energy... #
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00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,360
SEXUAL MOANING FROM PHONE
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00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,760
# You don't have to
see it that way. #
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00:04:58,760 --> 00:04:59,800
Who are they?
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00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,360
Right, I don't know who that is,
but that's Michael.
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00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:09,040
So he sent you...a video of him
having sex with someone else.
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00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,360
Er, well, yeah, of course,
let me at least see what
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00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,080
he looks like on top of someone else
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00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,960
before I tap my Oyster
and creep under it.
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00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,200
HE LAUGHS
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00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,200
I like that. You like it?
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00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,400
SHE LAUGHS
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00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:24,120
They had loads of wings, fangs,
but only one halo. Ooh.
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00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,960
You'd think that they'd stock up on
these things given it's Halloween.
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00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,120
Yeah, shit. Yeah.
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00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,080
So now we have to battle it out.
Could I state my case first?
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00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,040
You know what? We wouldn't even
be here doing this self-care day
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00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,480
if it wasn't for you setting
it all up, Terry, so yes,
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00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,440
you should state your case first,
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00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,600
but I-I don't know how you
feel about this, Bells,
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00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,920
I'm actually happy and indeed
willing to let you wear the halos.
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00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,560
Guys, are you sure? Definitely.
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00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,320
Yeah, def... Yeah.
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00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,600
Come on, then!
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00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,080
Paint and Wine,
it is a first come, first served,
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00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,160
so we're going to need to be
prompt with time.
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00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,480
Hey, hey.
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00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,080
Hi. I just wanted to say
thank you for your content.
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00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,480
Oh! I know your work,
I've read your posts
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00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,680
and what you're doing for
rape victims, girl - whoa.
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00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,080
Thank you, thank you so much. Yeah.
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00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,400
I was abused by a straight
white male, as a child.
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00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:24,000
I spoke out for the first time
a few months ago and...
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00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,560
..it's not easy...as a man -
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00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:33,400
as a black man - to be honest,
to-to show pain.
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00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,600
It comes at a price.
Er, sorry, you must be busy. No.
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00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:40,800
No, listen, I am never too
busy to talk about pain.
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00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,240
Because some people don't want
to engage the minute you try
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00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,480
and talk about some real shit.
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00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,720
Yeah, they, er, kind of treat you
like a broken vessel, right?
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00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,520
Some people, they don't want
to dig too deep, you know?
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00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,560
Because if they dig deep enough
they'd see they're in pain too.
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00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:56,320
They're in pain as well, that's it.
Wow, you're so brave.
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00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,840
Keep fighting the good fight, yeah?
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00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,720
SARCASTICALLY: Thank you.
Thank you so much
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00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,800
for reminding me of all the pain
and frustration.
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00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,600
Now it's all I can think about.
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00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,520
Oh, it's my pleasure, make sure you
tell all your friends to follow me
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00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,200
and make me more powerful.
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00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,000
Of course, you're my shero,
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00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,920
consoler of the weak and
avenger of the bad men.
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00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,240
Oi, Bells. Yeah, wait... Can we go?
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00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,800
One sec.
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00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,320
This echo chamber is freezing.
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00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,640
I'm cold. You never know, Kwams,
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00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,800
you might be feeling a bit down
one day and you just might need
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00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,560
someone who agrees
whatever the fuck you say.
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00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,680
Even if you are chatting shit.
Bye. Bye.
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00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,200
Sorry, guys.
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00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,040
Er, we said no phones.
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00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,040
No vaping.
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00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,720
Whoa.
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00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:12,400
Bella! I'm spreading awareness,
people should know.
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00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,880
I'm not going to upload it now.
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00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:17,840
I'm just going to take it and
then I'll post it later. Fine.
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00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,320
Hay, bunnies, thought
I'd let you know about
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00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,600
the POC Paint and Wine movement.
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00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,040
I believe we have the right
to express ourselves,
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00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:30,480
to be vulnerable, to grow, to free
ourselves, without the critical
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eyes of our oppressor shaming
and trashing us while we create.
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00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,960
The POC Paint and Wine movement...
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00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,520
Is it even a movement? I don't
know why she keeps saying that.
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Paint and...wine.
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00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,160
Self-care.
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00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:48,400
Friendship, expression,
art, creativity, peace,
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00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,520
this is what I've done so far.
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00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,560
Cue...oh!
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00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:56,840
OK, peace and love.
Don't forget who booked it -
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00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,560
my bae, @TheRealTerryPratchard.
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00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:03,720
Actor, angel, cuddle bunny,
snuggle butt. Holla!
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00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,080
Ah! Ah!
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00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,320
THEY LAUGH
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00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,520
Snuggle butt. Really!
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00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,040
HE LAUGHS
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00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:15,400
Anyways, Kwame, you were saying -
this racist bitch Nilufer.
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00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,880
Oh, yeah.
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00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,320
I hate it when white girls
disappoint me.
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00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,640
She says some homophobic
stuff as well. What?
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00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,040
Yeah, she said the F word.
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00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,840
People think they can chat shit
and get away with it.
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00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,800
Yeah, it's kind of dark, still.
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00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,600
I'm sorry, Kwams. Why didn't
you say something?
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00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,760
I just want to forget about it.
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00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,880
I don't want to think about it now.
I hope you pulled your dick out.
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00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:37,920
THEY LAUGH
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00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,600
It was afterwards, actually.
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00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,040
We were just chilling
and it really made me think,
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00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,600
what are people saying in your
absence? Do you know what I mean?
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00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,400
Oh, OK, so she didn't
know you were...
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00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,560
She didn't know you
were gay until after?
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00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:54,840
And after I called her out
and her homophobic bullshit,
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00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,360
the way she fucking hit the roof.
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00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,320
Kwame, why did you tell her?
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00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,760
She said "faggot", just casually.
How am I supposed to stay silent?
194
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,200
You didn't mind her
racially stereotyping you.
195
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,320
You definitely didn't mind
cos you fucked her.
196
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,480
As I said, I really wasn't
trying to do anything with her.
197
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,840
It's also no wonder she was angry.
198
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,960
She found out you were gay
after you stuck your dick in her
199
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,440
and shot a load up.
200
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,240
I don't know, I think I would be
at least a little bit, like...
201
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,640
I feel terrible about it
but she kind of forced me so...
202
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:24,000
Yeah.
203
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,400
Well, you...kind of had
penetrative sex with someone
204
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,680
under false pretences,
Kwams, that's a bit...
205
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,360
I don't know. What the fuck
is wrong with this thing?
206
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,000
You need to top it up. OK.
207
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,360
I'm saying I feel shit,
I don't feel good about it.
208
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,640
Um... Yeah, yeah, I mean,
209
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,600
Kwams, I'm sure she feels
absolutely superb.
210
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,400
I just think that it was
really confusing for everyone.
211
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,080
No. Terry, as someone who
has not experienced rape,
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00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,720
you should be listening
and not concluding conversations.
213
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,040
What? There's no vaping in the...
214
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:04,600
Bella...
215
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,360
He said he didn't feel
good about it.
216
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,360
He's a man concealing his identity,
217
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,080
following a woman into her home.
218
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,560
He's making someone vulnerable.
219
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:16,760
If he felt good about that,
I'd be fucking horrified.
220
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,080
I'm saying he's got his own...
221
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,360
He's vulnerable. Yeah.
222
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,200
Being vulnerable doesn't mean you
can make other people vulnerable.
223
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,400
It doesn't mean you can put other
people through pain,
224
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,120
it doesn't
mean you can penetrate peop...
225
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,880
Seriously, she literally
pushed me into it. Mm. No.
226
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,280
It sounds like you're blaming her.
Are you blaming her?
227
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,800
I'm not... I'm not...
228
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,240
Of course I wouldn't do that.
229
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,760
You shouldn't have told her.
230
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,320
Hey, you know, T, I agree, because
I'd be, like, telling the truth,
231
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,760
and it's much better to just
hide that under the surface
232
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,840
and never acknowledge that you
are hiding something from a woman
233
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,000
who's let you into her bedroom.
Fix your brain.
234
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,840
Are you fucking insane?
He made a mistake.
235
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,040
A mis...
236
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,560
Yeah. Yes, yes,
he made a mistake, sure.
237
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:02,480
Nobody gives a fuck that it's a
mistake, Terry. We all make those.
238
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,800
Do we make deceitful,
destructive, narcissistic,
239
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,360
sick, inconsiderate mistakes?
240
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,880
Mm, no.
241
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,280
So, on my birthday...
242
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,600
..when you locked him
in a room with Jamal...
243
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,760
..what was that?
244
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,760
What? Wh...
245
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,240
What am I... What am I doing?
246
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,960
Samson's friend...you
locked him in with.
247
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,080
Sorry, what?
248
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,480
And then you just...kind of just...
249
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,720
What... Where - where...
Where is this...
250
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:32,760
Where is this going?
251
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,280
You left Kwame in there...
252
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,000
..without really thinking...
253
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,600
..about...
254
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:41,920
..the consequences.
255
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,960
He wasn't in a good place,
so it was...
256
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,960
It was really hard
for him to be left there
257
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,280
because it... Uh-huh?
258
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,120
It was a dangerous...
It was a dangerous situation
259
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,640
at that moment.
260
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:57,720
Kwame?
261
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:58,960
Yeah?
262
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,640
Wow, he's...
263
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,360
..here...
264
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:08,000
..so I guess that means
you don't need to speak for him,
265
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,400
which is great,
266
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,160
so you can just shut up
and fuck off.
267
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,240
Kwame...
268
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,240
..um...
269
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,480
I feel like I've...
270
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,080
..been a good friend to you.
271
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,480
You told me what that guy did to you
272
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:27,000
and I've tried to... Yeah,
you are, you have been, Bells.
273
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,560
Did I... Did I do...
274
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:39,000
I... I don't... Cos if there's
something I did that day
275
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,840
that I'm not aware of...
276
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,080
Um, I...
277
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,520
I can't even really remember,
like, for reals.
278
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:54,840
SHE MUTTERS: All right.
279
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,160
I'm just saying, right, if you...
280
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,640
..paint things to make it
look like you're a victim
281
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,000
and I find out that...
282
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,680
..isn't entirely the case,
283
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,800
it makes me question who you are.
284
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,640
Now, just look in the mirror, do
you know what I mean? Because...
285
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:21,040
..it's really unnerving and it's
uncomfortable for everyone.
286
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,520
Fuck this shit.
287
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,400
# Apples, cherries, pain
288
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,240
# Breathe in, breathe out, pain
289
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:36,640
# No, no, Novocaine
Still maintain my grace
290
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,160
HUBBUB
291
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,600
# The more you burn away
the more the people earn from you
292
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,080
# The more you pull away the more
that they depend on you
293
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,760
# I've never seen a hero
like me in a sci-fi... #
294
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,160
Excuse me. Sorry, can I just see
if that wire goes into my vape?
295
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,040
It's losing its power.
296
00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,280
Amazing. Do you mind if
I hold on to that? Thank you.
297
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,840
# I wonder if you think that
I could ever help you fly
298
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,120
# Never seen a hero
like me in a sci-fi
299
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,720
# But I've seen my love and
I thought it belonged to you... #
300
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,400
What is this?
301
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,280
It doesn't work but thank you.
302
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,280
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
303
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,160
Could you take a picture of me? OK.
304
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,720
Just, like, here.
305
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,920
Hey, sugar, I like your
horns and everything.
306
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,320
Ah.
307
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,600
It's really amazing that you think
your opinion should just be heard.
308
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,880
I thought we were...
309
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,200
Ah, hey... Come on!
310
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,840
Whoo!
311
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,080
Hey, guys.
312
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,840
Did you know that
all crash test dummies -
313
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,960
they don't factor in breasts,
314
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,400
hips, pregnancies.
315
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,960
Cancer research relies on
studies conducted on men,
316
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,440
on white men in their
317
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,360
20s to 30s, specifically.
318
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,560
There is no data for women.
319
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:04,320
Even the size of
a fucking smartphone is
320
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,480
based on the average
321
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,640
size of their hands.
322
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,800
I mean, it trickles down,
323
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,840
doesn't it?
324
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,160
I wish I could tell you
these were somehow tricks,
325
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,600
some fake news, some bullshit,
326
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,480
but sadly this is all true.
327
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,920
I shouldn't be scared that
as I walk this street,
328
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,440
right now, at any moment,
329
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,480
a man could drag me into
a dark alley and attack me.
330
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,640
Fuck this shit. Fuck!
331
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:26,600
I love you too.
332
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:31,160
Doxing -
publishing private information.
333
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,000
Thank you.
334
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,240
I came across it
this morning. Doxxing -
335
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,560
any of you guys heard of it?
336
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:41,200
Who would you dox if you could?
337
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,080
No, I will not show you
my fucking...!
338
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,200
#DoxTheCocks,
339
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,640
that's the new one, yeah?
340
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,920
If anyone's got Zain Tareen's home
address, feel free to share.
341
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,080
Ha-ha-ha! Never dox!
342
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,840
No, you should never dox.
343
00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:00,560
We don't need to take
matters into our own hands.
344
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,120
MULTIPLE PHONE ALERTS BEEP
345
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,360
BEEPING INTENSIFIES
346
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,760
To bury a...
347
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,600
..dark, hypocritical narrative, as
348
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,280
if it didn't even happen, just...
349
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:27,360
..walk around like
some kind of victim.
350
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,400
You seem very upset.
351
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,320
It's really affected you, hasn't it?
352
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,400
I never thought Kwame would turn
out to be this kind of person,
353
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,400
do you know what I mean?
Because he's my friend
354
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,000
and I don't keep
that kind of shit around me.
355
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,160
Look at my Facebook...
356
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,560
..and my Instagram.
357
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:44,920
Two, yeah?
358
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,640
DM after DM after DM
359
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,560
after DM, there is
so much injustice.
360
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,840
And...
361
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,280
..my job is to speak the truth.
I have to speak the truth.
362
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,880
No matter who to.
I can't be complicit.
363
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,160
Do you need social media?
364
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,160
No, I don't need it.
365
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,160
Could you leave social media?
366
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,680
It's i...
367
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,480
It's important that we speak.
368
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,320
I have to speak.
369
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:17,120
The business models of
these networks incentivise us
370
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:20,440
to behave in certain ways,
371
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:24,640
in ways that promote speaking
often at the cost of listening.
372
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,080
Do you remember the three Rs?
373
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,080
Yeah. Rest, reflect, rejuvenate.
374
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,280
Look, if you can't abandon it
altogether...
375
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,600
..take a break.
376
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:43,720
We take breaks. We don't work
weekends. We break for half term.
377
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,240
Even a cantor has a sabbatical.
378
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,160
It's good for our mental health.
379
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,200
Sorry, by the way...
380
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,440
Turning up...
381
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:02,360
No, you called. That's what the
emergency line is for. You're fine.
382
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,960
SHE WHISPERS: Thank you.
383
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,480
How are other things?
384
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,560
Good.
385
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,760
Yeah, I've been writing nonstop,
day and night, so...
386
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,440
I was wondering more about the case.
387
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,520
Oh, they closed the case.
388
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,200
They closed the case? Mm.
389
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,600
It was about a month ago.
390
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,800
You know, I took my stuff, the
investigation bags, is that normal?
391
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,400
Everything and nothing is normal.
392
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,000
What was it like? Opening them?
393
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,360
I didn't open them,
I just put them under the bed.
394
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,520
And they're still there now?
395
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,160
Yeah, but everything
is under my bed.
396
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,640
Mm.
397
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,040
I think it's worth exploring...
398
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:58,880
..the possibility - you have
an idea of self, let's say A...
399
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,800
..for Arabella.
400
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,120
And then there's a line.
401
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,200
A hard surface, like a bed.
402
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:08,240
Dangerous things, dark things,
403
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,400
anything that contradicts or
threatens your perceived reality
404
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,200
go here.
405
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,320
It happens more often
than you might think.
406
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,960
A line is drawn
separating bad from good,
407
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,160
friend from foe, men, women,
black, white.
408
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:31,040
Them, us. Criminal, victim.
God, devil.
409
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:36,240
It helps us to deflect, you know,
avoid feelings like guilt,
410
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,880
uncertainty, self blame.
411
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,480
These feelings are crucial
412
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,720
in the stages of recovery.
413
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,360
If we can't process
and understand them...
414
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,320
..we can't process
and understand ourselves.
415
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,880
# I put a spell on you
416
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,440
# Cos you're mine
417
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:23,440
# You better stop the things you do
418
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,480
# I ain't lyin'
419
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:29,960
# I ain't lyin'
420
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:35,520
# I can't stand it... #
421
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,240
Hi, mate. Hey, mate.
What are you up to?
422
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,240
I kept the investigation bags,
from, you know,
423
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,120
so I thought I'd get them out.
424
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,600
But then there's loads.
Oh, right. Nice.
425
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:06,960
Is this them?
426
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,080
Mm-hm.
427
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,760
Mate, you've got loads of stuff.
428
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,440
What's that?
429
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,960
This was a long time ago.
430
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,240
I can't remember.
431
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:48,800
How many weeks was I?
432
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,320
I don't remember.
433
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:01,840
Ten weeks.
434
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,560
I just went and...
435
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,320
..done it, and then I forgot.
436
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,280
I never really
thought about it again.
437
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,320
I guess I've, uh...
438
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:26,920
I guess I, uh...
439
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,000
Do you feel like
you made the wrong decision?
440
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,120
No.
441
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,880
Doing what we have to do
doesn't always feel good, does it?
442
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,720
If you felt good,
I would be even more horrified.
443
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,040
DOORBELL BUZZES
444
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,040
When you paint things
445
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,840
to make it look as if
you're just a victim,
446
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,320
and I find out that isn't the case,
447
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,600
it really makes me
question who you are.
448
00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,840
DOOR OPENS
449
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,760
Just look in the mirror,
do you know what I mean?
450
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,400
It's really uncomfortable
and unnerving for everyone.
451
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,000
KNOCK AT DOOR
452
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,560
SHE WHISPERS: Sorry.
453
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,720
Is Kwam here?
454
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,800
He wasn't sure if you were OK
with him coming in.
455
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,000
OK.
456
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:38,720
Yo, I can go if you don't
want me here. I understand.
457
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,120
Kwame...
458
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:42,880
It was really...
459
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,760
It was really intense today,
460
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,240
and I'm sorry.
461
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,600
I was wrong. What I did was bad.
462
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,120
I locked you in this room...
463
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,160
..and I didn't think about it.
464
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,720
I was really dumb, and really
thoughtless, and I am sorry.
465
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,280
I don't want to think about it.
466
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,080
Fuck that shit. Please just...
467
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,600
..forget about it.
468
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:09,880
I love you.
469
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,240
Yeah, I love you too.
470
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,400
You OK?
471
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,520
Yeah? Are you OK?
472
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,840
Well, Terry's self-care
train is making me
473
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,800
want to jump in front of one. Mm.
474
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,800
HE LAUGHS
475
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,800
So I'm going
to go to this location.
476
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,160
HE LAUGHS
477
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:25,920
MOANING
478
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,440
You can't tell her.
She won't notice.
479
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,640
Mm.
480
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,400
If you throw it hard enough...
481
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,080
..it goes splat and a baby
comes from inside it.
482
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:45,080
Right, er, well, I'm going
to go back watching TV.
483
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,320
Halloween TV.
484
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,360
Well...
485
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,040
So, er, right...
486
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,520
Sleep well, mate.
487
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:54,880
Thanks, Ben.
488
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,920
You sure you want to do this?
489
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:27,800
# Mushrooms and roses
is the place to be... #
490
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,120
What do you need, Bell?
491
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:33,520
Netflix?
492
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,360
Painting?
493
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:36,720
Chocolate?
494
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,640
Doodle?
495
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,440
Mm...
496
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,720
Can we go for a walk?
497
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:52,960
Sure.
498
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:58,160
It's cold, Bella, put your coat on.
499
00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:59,400
Bella!
500
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,720
# We're all virgins to the joys
501
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,680
# Of loving without fear... #
502
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,160
This is a long walk.
503
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:17,440
Bella?
504
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:45,800
What are we doing?
505
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,040
Yaasss...
506
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,920
# Tommy thinks the crazies
are back in my mind
507
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,400
# Tommy says the children
are clouding my head
508
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:11,400
# When everything is wrong
I dance inside my mind
509
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,200
# That's when I come alive
510
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,160
# Like a schizo running wild
511
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,560
# That's when I come alive
512
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,240
# Now let's go wild
513
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,240
# Come on!
514
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,640
# We're kicking at your window
and keeping you up
515
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,200
# And if you come to find me
I'll colour you red
516
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:40,200
# We're dancing in the dungeon
every Monday night. #
61442
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