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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:19,685 [Muttering] 1 00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,686 Every time I turn around, it's somethin'. 2 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:23,688 Go this way, got somethin' else goin'- - 3 00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:25,690 Oh, hey, America. How you doin'? 4 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:28,192 I'm just very put out at the moment. 5 00:00:28,294 --> 00:00:30,194 America, Bernie Mac is vexed. 6 00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:34,198 Listen, I walked in the kitchen, I see trash just overrunnin'. 7 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,098 Smelled nasty, funky, foul. 8 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:40,764 So I asked Vanessa why she didn't take the trash out like I told her. 9 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,104 She had the audacity to look me in the eye... 10 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,109 and bold-faced lie, I tell ya! 11 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,111 Said I never told her... 12 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,113 when I know good and well I did. 13 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,115 It's a pathological. 14 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,617 That's why I banished her to her room just now. 15 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,585 [Giggling] 16 00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:57,588 What you laughin' at? 17 00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,590 You told me to take out the trash. 18 00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:02,923 - Why you didn't do it, then? - Uh-oh. 19 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,064 [Door Slams] 20 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:09,727 I could've swore I gave Vanessa that chore. 21 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:12,737 These kids got me all discombobulated. 22 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:15,865 So I guess I punished the poor girl for nothin'. 23 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,944 But I'm sure she'll do somethin' later on. 24 00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:23,607 So, what was I gettin' ready to do, America? 25 00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:26,082 What was l... 26 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:29,417 Oh, yeah. Excuse me one minute. Come here, boy! 27 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:31,490 ?? [Upbeat] 28 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,752 - Baby girl, you seen my keys? - Uh-uh. 29 00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:38,262 You sure? 30 00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:40,332 - Uncle Bernie, pull my finger. - What? 31 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,458 Uncle Bernie, hurry! Pull my finger! 32 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,093 Don't you see I'm busy? 33 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,104 - I'll pull it. - Ain't nobody pullin' nothin'! 34 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:49,767 Uncle Bernie, hurry. I can't hold it much longer. Pull my finger. 35 00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:51,776 Boy, you'd better not pass no gas up in here. 36 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,607 Go in the bathroom like you got some doggone sense! 37 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,113 Ahh. Too late! 38 00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,116 You stinkin'! 39 00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:02,382 Oh, uh, Nessa... Uh, Bryana... What, uh... 40 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,389 - Jordan! - Thank you, Wanda. 41 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:08,018 Jordan! You know better than that! 42 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,028 What was I lookin' for? 43 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,031 Y'�ll see what these kids doin' to me. 44 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,033 I can't think no more. 45 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,035 They make my brain hot. 46 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:21,301 It's like I got a George Foreman grill in my head and I gotta drain the grease. 47 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:24,968 If they keep it up, I'm gonna lose my mind. 48 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,478 And I know they're gonna keep it up. 49 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,480 You know it too. 50 00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:33,746 All right, car seat, backpack, jacket. I think we got everything. 51 00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:37,311 No, no... No, you don't. You ain't bringin' that drippy mess in my car. 52 00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:39,414 - But I'm not finished. - Throw it away. 53 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,323 - I don't want to! - Throw it away. 54 00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:43,895 - I don't want to! - Jordan! 55 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,434 Uncle Bernie! 56 00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:51,436 - Uncle Bernie! - [Tires Screeching] 57 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,233 Oh, Lord! 58 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,739 - Hey, Wanda. - Mmm? 59 00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:58,676 I think somethin' wrong with me. 60 00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:01,975 I can't remember nothin'. I'm losin' my memory. 61 00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:04,982 Don't worry, baby. It happens to everyone once in a while. 62 00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:08,383 Yeah, but I ain't talkin' every once in a while. 63 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:11,457 It keeps up, baby girl gonna be on a milk carton. 64 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,560 - Hey, Wanda. - Mmm? 65 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,722 You think I got a brain tumor or memory cancer? 66 00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:23,029 - Maybe you should just write things down. - Yeah. 67 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:25,036 She's right. 68 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,368 I just need a little help on keepin' things straight. 69 00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:31,204 I'm not gonna let those little devils kill my brain cells. Oh, no. 70 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:33,472 See, that's where technology come in. 71 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:36,981 Check it out... it got a "to-do" list, an address book... 72 00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,984 and a section where I can write my little reminder notes... 73 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:42,418 like "KillJordan" and "Kill Vanessa." 74 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:45,685 "Tell baby girl her brother and sister ran away." 75 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,760 I need to get that down. 76 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:52,831 Where'd I put that little pen thing at? 77 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,670 I just had it. 78 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,341 Don't see it. 79 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:08,178 I cannot believe that I had the thing right around here. 80 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,181 - [Sighs] Man, this is... - [Crack] 81 00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,183 Oww! 82 00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,753 Oh, my knee. [Groans] 83 00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:18,190 Oh, Lord! 84 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,908 Bernie, it looks like a drugstore in here. Are you okay? 85 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:40,411 A couple few naggin' little things botherin' me, baby. 86 00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:43,414 It's those doggone kids. They wear me down like a virus. 87 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:46,417 But you better believe I'm fightin' back. 88 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:49,420 With the miracle of modern medicine, I'm fightin' back. 89 00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:52,787 - Bernie, I don't use hair dye. - It's mine, baby. 90 00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:55,554 But you've been getting gray hair since you were 20. 91 00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,358 On my head. 92 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,865 Oh. 93 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:07,429 Well, as long as everything still works, I wouldn't worry about it. 94 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,374 - [Slap] - [Groans] 95 00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:14,677 Uncle Bernie, we've decided that we don't want fish tonight. 96 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,715 What you mean, you decided? 97 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,250 We took a vote, and we want Royal Burger. 98 00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:21,479 What you mean, you took a vote? 99 00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:23,487 Royal Burger! Royal Burger! 100 00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:25,921 [All Chanting] Royal Burger! Royal Burger! 101 00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:28,016 Hey, hey, ain't no Royal Burger nothin'. 102 00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:30,027 Royal nothin'. We're makin' fish. 103 00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,029 Royal Burger's got fish. 104 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:35,032 ? It's got fish, it's got fun? 105 00:05:35,134 --> 00:05:38,069 - ? It's got everything under the sun? - L-L-Look... Shut up! 106 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:42,904 I can see what they're doin', but they can't break me down. I'm fully medicated. 107 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,341 Stop bouncin', baby girl. Stop it! 108 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:49,108 But you promised you'd take us to Royal Burger! You promised. You lied! 109 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,775 - [Jordan]? You lied, you lied? - Who you callin' a liar? 110 00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:54,785 - Liar! Liar! Liar, ooh! - [Bryana] Royal Burger! Royal Burger! 111 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:57,720 - You callin' me a... You callin' me a liar? - Liar, liar, liar, liar! 112 00:05:57,824 --> 00:05:59,621 Liar, liar, liar, liar! 113 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,626 Would you quit movin' like that! 114 00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:03,696 Liar, liar, liar, liar! 115 00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:06,264 Royal Burger, Royal Burger, Royal... 116 00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:11,669 - [Vanessa] Uncle Bernie? - [Jordan] Is he okay? 117 00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,373 [Vanessa] Are you all right? 118 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:13,737 [Vanessa] Are you all right? 119 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,276 [Beeping] 120 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,246 Oww! Eee! 121 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,248 Well, your heart is fine. 122 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:28,616 You just had an attack of acute acid reflux. Painful, but far from fatal. 123 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:34,084 - Doc, is that like heartburn? - Yes. 124 00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,093 You see, as we get older... 125 00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:39,028 fatty foods, alcohol, overeating can really take a toll. 126 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:42,533 So you're sayin' I ended up in the E.R. Because I ate too much? 127 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:45,536 That could be a cause, but sometimes it's just stress. 128 00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:48,607 Do you have any new sources of stress in your life? 129 00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:56,747 Look, the fact is, Mr. Mac, you're getting older... 130 00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:59,249 and as much as we'd all like to... 131 00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,752 you can't stop the aging process. 132 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,389 You just can't stop it. 133 00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,891 I'm talkin' about the aging process. 134 00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:10,895 It didn't even start until these kids came around. 135 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,897 But I tell you one thing, America... 136 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,400 I'm not gonna let it send me to my grave before my time, no, sir. 137 00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:18,902 Because Mac man is gonna fight back. 138 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,405 I'm gonna change my way of life... 139 00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:26,240 get back to my old self, like I was back in the day... Maximum Mac, baby. 140 00:07:26,345 --> 00:07:28,540 ?? [Funk] 141 00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:37,884 - ?? [Continues] - Hey, can you turn down your oldies? 142 00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:40,652 - I'm trying to do my homework. - What? 143 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,660 I'm listenin' to my music. 144 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:45,663 I don't say nothin' to you, Nessa, when you listen to that crap you call music. 145 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,858 - Yes, you do. - Well, it's my house. 146 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,993 You want some privacy, go to the library or one of your friends' homes. 147 00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:53,765 You got a lot of nerve, man. 148 00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:56,774 Talkin' 'bout you listenin' to, uh, MaryJ. Blige... 149 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:59,777 or, um, uh, those Street Boys and all that bull. 150 00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:02,541 - [Door Opens] - Talkin' 'bout "oldies." 151 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,946 - [Door Closes] - [Muttering] 152 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,281 This is music. 153 00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:13,258 ?? [Continues] 154 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,943 ?? [Ends] 155 00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:43,954 She had the nerve to call my music "oldies," man. 156 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:47,958 The Isley Brothers ain't oldies, man. The Isley Brothers's goodies! 157 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,654 Bernie, when the last time you seen Ronald Isley? 158 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:53,231 That brother 'bout 97 years old, man. 159 00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:55,994 - [All Laughing] - Come on, man. Okay, okay, okay. 160 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,333 He's old. That don't make us old for listenin' to him, Kelly. 161 00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,906 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Come on, now. Ain't none of us old. 162 00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,408 - Right? - Uh, uh, fellas? 163 00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:08,002 - Lookie here. Read them and weep. - Oh, that's a good hand. 164 00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:11,015 - He won, man. He won! - Oh, man! 165 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:14,018 Hey, hey, that's it for me, man. I'm done. 166 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,020 What you mean, you done, man? 167 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:19,250 Chuy, what you be talkin' about, man? It's early. It's only 10:30. 168 00:09:19,358 --> 00:09:23,089 - I gotta get goin' too, man. - Why you gotta get goin'? 169 00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:26,096 Man, look here... we used to play all night long, man. 170 00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:29,099 We ain't never left like this. What's the problem now? 171 00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:30,862 - We got kids now, man. - See? 172 00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,666 "See?" You ain't got no kids. 173 00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:37,436 - Yeah, I'm just old, man. - He ain't lyin' about that. [Chuckling] 174 00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:40,444 Come on, Kelly, you ain't old. Ain't none of us old. 175 00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:43,447 Why don't you play one more? Chuy, come on. 176 00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:46,677 [Kelly Snoring] 177 00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:49,721 Bam! [Laughs] 178 00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,722 - Yo, you win, dog. - Yeah. 179 00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:54,725 Look, I gotta go crash, man. 180 00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:57,227 What you mean, you goin' to crash, big fella? 181 00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,891 - You ain't never did me like this. - Yo, man, it's 3:00 a.m. 182 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,969 If I don't get no sleep soon, I'm gonna pay for it in the morning. 183 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,698 Okay. Okay, fine. Go. 184 00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:09,707 And take your lightweight with you. Go on, big fella. 185 00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,709 You ain't never did this to me, man. 186 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:14,302 - Yo, old school! [Chuckling] - [Groaning] 187 00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:18,645 "Man, it's 3:00 a.m. If I don't get my beauty sleep, I'm gonna pay for it in the morning." 188 00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:24,053 Please! Back in the day, I could stay up all night, sleep an hour and wake up fresh. 189 00:10:24,156 --> 00:10:25,157 - [Snoring] - [Bryana] Uncle Bernie? 190 00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:26,146 - [Snoring] - [Bryana] Uncle Bernie? 191 00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:28,158 Uncle Bernie. 192 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:31,696 Uncle Bernie! 193 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,322 Baby girl, please stop hollerin'. P lease! 194 00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:36,367 Uncle Bernie, are you dying? 195 00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,605 If God had mercy on me. 196 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:44,972 Uncle Bernie! 197 00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:58,448 [Bernie Moaning] 198 00:10:58,557 --> 00:11:00,525 [Click, Beep] 199 00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:02,958 [Wanda Moaning, Chuckling] That's nice. 200 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:05,030 [Bernie] Oh, yes, it is. 201 00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:08,900 - [Wanda Sighs] - [Bernie] I'm sorry. 202 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,629 [Beep] 203 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:18,438 Twenty-three seconds. 204 00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:20,444 That's humblin'. 205 00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:22,446 What y'�ll lookin' at? 206 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:25,449 Oh, you think I'm some kind of old man? 207 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:28,520 You thinking my best days behind me? 208 00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:33,088 - Maybe they are. - [Beep] 209 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,592 [Tapping] 210 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,730 Uncle Bernie, will you play with me? 211 00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:44,735 Not now, baby girl. Not now. 212 00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:47,169 - No, look. - What? 213 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,970 Let me see that. 214 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,238 "Daddy and Me Basketball. Come join the fun." 215 00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:58,510 Baby girl, I'm too old. I don't think I'd be able to do that. 216 00:11:58,617 --> 00:12:01,279 My body worn out, sweetheart. I ain't got it like that. 217 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,480 [Basketball Bouncing] 218 00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:07,424 I know one thing... back in the day... 219 00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:09,585 I used to play basketball from sunup to sundown. 220 00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:13,791 Yes, sir, and the only reason I'd stop... we didn't have no streetlights. 221 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:18,427 I used to rule the court too. People used to come see me play all around. 222 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:22,268 - Let's go, man! That's three! - [Chuckling Sarcastically] 223 00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:24,274 And I'm gonna tell you somethin' else. 224 00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:27,812 That's exactly what you and me gonna do. And you know what else? 225 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,279 - We gonna win it too. - Yea! 226 00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:33,545 Want me to show you some of my moves? Come on. Uncle Bernie ain't through. 227 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:38,048 Baby girl, watch me school these guys. 228 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,148 What's up, you squares? 229 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,159 Can I run with y'�ll? 230 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,786 - [Laughing] - [Mock Laughter] 231 00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:46,797 I guess, man. 232 00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:49,663 Yeah. Talkin' 'bout old man. Can an old man do this? 233 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,203 - Old school! - Take it downtown, now! 234 00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:55,364 Know what I'm sayin'? This an old man? Look at that. 235 00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:58,671 - Yeah. Why you on me like that? - Oh. Oh! 236 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,803 I'll show you "old man." Look, look, look. 237 00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:04,178 - [Loud Crack] - Aaah! My back! 238 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,649 - [Bernie Groaning] - [Boys Murmuring] 239 00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:09,653 - [Groans] - Oh, man, it's all right! It's all right! 240 00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:12,246 - Uncle Bernie? - Baby girl, don't look. 241 00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:17,757 You did it... 242 00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:28,540 [Whirring] 243 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:35,276 Yeah, it's true, America. 244 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,281 The kids won. 245 00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,283 I'm over the hill now. 246 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,285 My time has passed. 247 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,288 Tryin' to fight it only makes you look foolish... 248 00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,290 like fat Elvis or Little Richard. 249 00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:49,020 ? Whoo? I ain't got time for that. 250 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:52,427 From now on I gotta slow down... 251 00:13:52,531 --> 00:13:54,431 act my age. 252 00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:57,093 Now, go on, America. 253 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,171 I need to get my rest. 254 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:08,146 [Wanda] Oh, Bernie, you look miserable. 255 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:11,614 Isn't there any way I could make you more comfortable? 256 00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:15,983 W-Wanda! Don't do that! Don't... Don't do that. 257 00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:20,024 Ain't nothin' you can do, 'cause when l... when I sit up, my back hurt. 258 00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:21,922 When I lay down... 259 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,791 my reflux start kickin' in. 260 00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,092 Why don't you sit in your chair a little? 261 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,099 I can't. 262 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,101 Got 'rhoids. 263 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:34,104 Well, Nurse Wanda is running out to the store... 264 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:38,267 but when she gets back she'll give you a little sponge bath. 265 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,277 How the patient like that? 266 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,279 - Oh, l... - [Crack] 267 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:45,111 Oh, Wanda, my neck! [Sighs] 268 00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:52,156 Get away from me! 269 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:54,658 Jordan, stop it! Stop it! You makin' a mess! 270 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,320 Jordan! Did y'�ll hear what l... 271 00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:59,624 Boy, look at this mess you makin'! 272 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:03,532 I'm gonna whup... I'm gonna whup his ass. I'm not kiddin'. Jordan! 273 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,536 Look at this! 274 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,629 I'm gonna whup his ass. I ain't... 275 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,640 Jordan! 276 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,642 Jordan! 277 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,645 He thinks I am playin' around here. I'm not playin'. 278 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,648 Boy, I tell ya, I'm gonna whup your ass... 279 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,650 [Crash] 280 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,811 [Wheelchair Motor Whirring] 281 00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:27,123 Who in the heck am I kiddin'? 282 00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:30,218 I couldn't whup his ass if my life depended on it. 283 00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:33,230 I'm too old to be runnin' around after kids. 284 00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,698 I might really hurt myself. 285 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:38,861 From now on, Bernie Mac's retired. 286 00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:43,439 Now I got time to catch up on my readin'. 287 00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:59,522 Dent-O-Sparkle is fast-acting. 288 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:04,426 One effervescent tablet will clean those yellow dentures in 30 seconds. 289 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,794 ?? [Soul] 290 00:16:23,882 --> 00:16:25,850 Hey! 291 00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:28,880 - ?? [Continues] - Hey! 292 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,115 - Here. - Thank you, sweetheart. 293 00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:32,952 I appreciate it. 294 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:37,395 [Snores] 295 00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:47,505 [Continues Snoring] 296 00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,810 Hey, hey, hey. What you doin'? 297 00:16:56,915 --> 00:17:00,942 - You were asleep. - I wasn't asleep. I was restin' my eyes. 298 00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:03,078 - Turn it back. - Whatever. 299 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,247 ?? [Continues] 300 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,825 [Wheelchair Motor Whirring] 301 00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,945 [Wanda] Bernie, get out ofbed. 302 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,949 ?? [Ends] 303 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,952 For what, Wanda? I ain't in no shape. 304 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,955 Baby, I been tryin' to get up all day... 305 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,957 Bryana's basketball game. 306 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,959 I can't play no basketball, Wanda. 307 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:45,963 I'm telling ya, with my back hurtin', I ain't gonna be able to do that. 308 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:50,399 No, you don't have to play. I got W.B. To fill in. I knew you wouldn't be able to. 309 00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:55,005 - What? - You obviously aren't feeling up to it. 310 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:57,166 Do you think you're strong enough to go down and watch? 311 00:17:57,276 --> 00:18:00,074 - Strong enough? - Well, after the other night... 312 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:03,011 The other night? 313 00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,015 Why she gotta bring that up? 314 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:07,517 That's a sensitive subject, America. 315 00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:10,019 Now she got W.B. Takin' my spot. 316 00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:13,353 That's ridiculous! I mean, ludicrous, absurd! 317 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,359 I'm still here! 318 00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:18,362 I may be a lot of things, but I ain't dead yet. 319 00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:21,365 And even if it kills me, I'm not gonna be replaced. 320 00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:25,096 No, sir. They're ain't no substitute for Bernie Mac. 321 00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:29,974 [Whistle Blows] 322 00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,604 [Bernie] Substitute, Ref! 323 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,854 Uncle Bernie! 324 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,858 - Yo, man, what are you doin' here? - Thanks for holdin' down. 325 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,554 But I had to do it for baby girl. 326 00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:54,325 Oh, man, that's all good, dog. Hey, I'm glad to see Bernie Mac is back. 327 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,333 - Oh, I'm back. - Yo, and dig. 328 00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,404 Little girl, she goes to her left. 329 00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:04,599 How many daddies do you have? 330 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:07,110 Watch me, baby girl. Hah! Hah! 331 00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:10,204 Baby girl, you ain't seen nothin' yet. I'm gonna tell you... 332 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:13,113 ?? [Upbeat] 333 00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,118 [Whistle Blows] 334 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,313 That's the last time that's gonna happen. 335 00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:20,690 Hey, what's up? 336 00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:22,760 Baby girl, catch! 337 00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:24,624 Here. 338 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,561 Come on, baby. 339 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,970 Come on, baby, let's go. Come on, big girl! 340 00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:39,134 [Whistle Blows] 341 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,445 Yeah! Rejected! 342 00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,519 - ?? [Stops] - Violation! 343 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:50,520 - What you talkin' about? - Sir, you cannot block her shot like that. 344 00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:53,523 I'm tryin' to win the game! That's how we did it back in the day! 345 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,025 Sir, this is not a competitive event. 346 00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:58,858 - At Wellington, all the kids are winners. - I bet you that team don't win. 347 00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,864 I guarantee you my team gonna win. 348 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,991 Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down. 349 00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:06,332 What you mean, calm down? What you gonna do if I don't? Give me a technical? 350 00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:09,339 Sir, again, this is a kids' game. There are no technicals. 351 00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,341 Then I ain't gotta calm down. 352 00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:13,673 This is basketball. This ain't field hockey! 353 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,770 - [Whistle Blows] - Technical! 354 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:19,840 Come on! What you mean? Only reason you called it is 'cause I'm black. 355 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,852 This some bull... 356 00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:25,619 - Hey, baby. - Yes, baby? 357 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,624 - ?? [Continues] - I'm back! 358 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,490 - Ohhh! - [Audience Cheering, Applauding] 359 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,966 ?? [Ends] 360 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,968 You know what? 361 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,096 That felt real good. 362 00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:43,606 I mean, not landin' on my head and all. 363 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:47,941 But the thrill of victory's worth a couple of more weeks in this here scooter. 364 00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:51,709 See, everyone gets old, whether you got kids or not. 365 00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,717 But, I mean, so what? 366 00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:56,515 The truth is, I like being old. 367 00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,022 I like my music, I like my movies... 368 00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,957 and I truly like who the heck I am. 369 00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:05,962 And I'm not just gettin' better with age, I mean, like fine wine. 370 00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:08,589 No matter how old I get... 371 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,600 I'll still be the Mac man. 372 00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:12,602 [Chuckling] 373 00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:15,104 - Honey, can you help me? - Yeah. 374 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:17,607 I think I found a gray hair. 375 00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:19,939 Bend down, let me see it, baby. 376 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:21,945 Not on my head. 377 00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:23,947 Drop it like it's hot. 378 00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:26,017 Ooh! 379 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:31,755 Here your ride home. 380 00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:34,826 "Drop it like it's hot." Hmm, nothin'. 381 00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:46,471 [Snoring] 29261

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