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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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You've got to do something.
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Why have I got to do something?
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Because I don't
really like snakes!
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I don't like 'em either.
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Why don't we just
turn around and...
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go back the way we came up?
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'Cause everyone's watching.
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Please. Mr. Dundee.
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Oh...
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Yeah, come on. Mr. Dundee.
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Go, Dundee!
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I'm not really
Crocodile Dundee, you know.
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Just a character I play
in a movie.
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He's being modest. That movie
was practically a documentary.
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Shut up, Barney!
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Stand back, everyone. Boys.
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Oh. Shit.
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Be careful.
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Here's a stick!
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He'll have that thing on the
barbecue tonight.
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It's dead.
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Um, yeah, not that one.
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Huh?
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Could you get the other one?
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The other one? Oh, is there...
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Ooh, Jesus!
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Shit.
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Everything okay?
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Oops.
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As hilarious reports
continue to surface of Paul
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'Crocodile Dundee' Hogan's
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ill-fated rendezvous
with a snake...
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we ask where the Man from
Down Under has been hiding.
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The one-time rigger
on the Sydney Harbor Bridge
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first got his big break
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on Australian talent show
New Faces.
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He instantly became
a household favorite,
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and quickly, this everyman
went on to star
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in his own sketch comedy
series, The Paul Hogan Show.
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00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:50,503
Dominating the Australian
ratings over a 14-year period
42
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made 'Hoges' a household name
43
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and introduced such iconic
characters as Arthur Dunger,
44
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Luigi the Unbelievable
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00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:03,893
and stuntman extraordinaire
Leo Wanker.
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The world beckoned,
and as Hoges fronted
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Australia's most successful
tourism campaign,
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we booked our flights and
flocked Down Under in droves.
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It was then Hogan unleashed...
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the most successful
independent film
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in the history of cinema...
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Crocodile Dundee.
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Crocodile Dundee, of course.
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Crocodile Dundee.
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That's not a knife.
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That's a knife.
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The low-budget Aussie comedy
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00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,759
went on to gross over $300
million worldwide
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and saw Paul Hogan co-host
the 1987 Academy Awards
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and made him one of the most
recognizable faces
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on the planet and a national
treasure.
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00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:49,729
Growing up in Australia,
there was one name
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00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:53,192
that was... beyond an idol
in a way,
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and I'm just gonna say
one word - Hoges.
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Hoges was your everyman.
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Hoges was the Aussie
you wanted to be.
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00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,993
In 1989 came Dundee II
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and saw Hogan move
to live in the US.
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More films were to follow,
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but all failed to capture
the same success
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as Crocodile Dundee.
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00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,170
And almost overnight,
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Hogan disappeared from
American screens.
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And apart from a brief cameo
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in a new Australian
tourism campaign...
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has rarely been seen again.
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If you want to know
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00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,557
what the notoriously private
star
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00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,810
has been up to these past
20 years,
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00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:31,562
your guess... is as good as
mine.
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What the hell was that?!
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What?
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You threw a snake at a
fifth-grade teacher
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and hit her in the face!
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Oh. Oh, she thought I was
the real Crocodile Dundee.
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So you threw a snake at her?
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Oh, no. That was an accident.
The bloody thing leapt at me.
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Right. And yet she thought you
were the real Crocodile Dundee?
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00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,790
Yeah. He probably
would have eaten it.
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Paul, I hardly have any clients
left as it is.
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Could you just please try
not to kill yourself?
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Okay.
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Thank you.
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Uh, where are we going?
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Oh. I have news.
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Oh.
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Yeah!
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See this letter?
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00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:08,559
What?
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00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,060
Well, God knows why,
but apparently
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the Queen of England wants to
bestow you with a knighthood.
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What for?
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For services to comedy.
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Services! God! I don't want
a knighthood.
105
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Well, you're getting one.
106
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So this is serious?
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Oh. Look at that.
108
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,579
There's that Dundee
impersonator.
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Oh, he's still here.
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I hate it. You know, people keep
telling me he's strung out.
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Photo with Mick Dundee?
Hey? Crocodile man?
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They're all strung out.
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Yeah, but he doesn't even
look like Dundee!
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And apparently he's rude
to the kids
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and then charges them
something like $5
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just to take his picture.
117
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Well, this is Hollywood
Boulevard.
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They're all crooks.
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Yeah, I know.
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Oh, and, yes, this is very
serious.
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Oh.
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Oh, yeah. They want me
to appear in person.
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Six weeks from now in London.
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I know!
How great is that?
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I'm not going.
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Wait. But... What? You are.
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Wh-why would I go to...
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00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:07,093
I mean, I've been trying to
retire for the last 20 years.
129
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I know.
130
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,577
You know me. I'm lazy.
131
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,163
I like to stay at home
and watch Ellen on TV
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and do crossword puzzles.
133
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But despite all that, it seems
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the Queen is actually
quite the fan.
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Oh.
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I know.
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I'm not surprised.
138
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I mean, come on, you put
Australia on the map.
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You had the most successful
independent film
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in history, Paul.
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I mean, you've got to think
about your legacy.
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My legacy?
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Having a legacy is a beautiful
thing.
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As your manager, I am telling
you, you've got to do this.
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Oh, and in the meantime,
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can you just try and
behave yourself?
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Because, you know, the palace
hates any kind of...
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controversy or trouble.
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Hey, I never cause any
controversy or trouble.
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You know... sometimes it...
just comes after me.
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What are we doing here?
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Okay. Don't be mad.
153
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,548
But the studio really, really
wanted a meeting.
154
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,298
Angie, I've been
telling you for 20 years,
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I don't want to do
another Dundee.
156
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:09,012
I know, but they've got some
really amazing casting news.
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Seriously, I have never
heard the studio
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this excited and bursting
with ideas.
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So I told them we'd take
a meeting.
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Oh, come on. Just do it for me?
Please?
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Can we meet with them?
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And then you can go home,
take a nap and watch Ellen.
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All right. Come on.
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00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,406
Okay. You know what? I can't go.
165
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I've got to meet Mom.
But you go ahead.
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You'll be great, trust me.
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I'll call you later!
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Love you!
169
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,959
Oh, look! Everyone,
there's Paul Hogan!
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00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,600
Hey.
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00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:55,600
Hey, Paul.
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Kim Courtney. Pleasure.
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Paul, it's an honor.
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Thanks for coming in, Paul.
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00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:02,940
We heard you were very excited
to meet.
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00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,567
Uh... yeah.
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00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,211
Let me just start by saying
that we are huge fans
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of the Crocodile Dundee movies.
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00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,615
And we want to bring him back.
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00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,259
We know you've been a little
resistant in the past,
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00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,951
but please, just hear us out.
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00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:16,329
We'd really love to see
Dundee...
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come to Los Angeles.
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00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,374
Dundee in LA?
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Exactly.
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Like we did in Dundee III?
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There was a Dundee III?
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Are you sure?
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00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,884
Mmm, reasonably.
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00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:30,343
Here we go.
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00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,011
Drinks! Ha ha!
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00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,932
One sunrise kiss
with added kale.
193
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,475
Thank you.
194
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:37,911
Roland, blended oats
and chai supreme.
195
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,019
Ah. Thank you, Anton.
196
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:40,354
Ah, Josh.
197
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,480
Yes, siree.
198
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:42,605
Lemon and rocket essence.
199
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:43,606
Perfecto.
200
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,607
Now, Paul...
201
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,609
Uh, no, I'm...
202
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:46,943
I made you my favorite,
203
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,320
which is a cleansing blend
204
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,072
of mint, goat's milk,
205
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:54,868
activated walnuts and baby
spinach with agave syrup.
206
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,036
Ooh!
207
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,037
Agave syrup!
208
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,038
Yeah. Thanks.
209
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,120
Take a sip.
210
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:00,164
Yeah, yeah. Drink.
211
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:01,166
Sip.
212
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,250
Come on.
213
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:04,336
Hmm? Hmm?
214
00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:05,836
It's good, huh?
215
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:06,921
Yeah. There it is.
216
00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,173
Anton!
217
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,134
Okay. Let's forget the location.
218
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,678
We want to introduce your son.
219
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,429
A Dundee Jr.
220
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:18,557
You know, someone who shares all
of your qualities and attributes
221
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,476
but who can bring the franchise
forward
222
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,144
for a younger, new generation.
223
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,523
Yeah, well, we've already been
down that road,
224
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:27,317
and it, um... didn't sort of
work.
225
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,028
Yes. But this time, we have
just the actor.
226
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,614
He's A-list, he is charming,
funny as hell...
227
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,697
A little bit cute.
228
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,740
He is perfect.
229
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,744
And a massive, massive fan.
230
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:41,331
So, without any further ado,
to play your son...
231
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:43,709
Will Smith!
232
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:45,711
Will...
233
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,086
Smith!
234
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,588
Look at him! Oh, he can't
believe it!
235
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,301
Believe it, Paul!
He wants to play your son!
236
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,509
Yeah!
237
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:54,677
Yeah, but...
238
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,971
Okay. We know what you're
thinking.
239
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:58,222
He's too old.
240
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,890
No, that's not what I'm
thinking.
241
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,436
But he's just turned 50
and he looks great.
242
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,854
Yeah, I'm sure, yeah, but...
243
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,105
What? He's American?
244
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:06,315
He's fantastic with accents.
245
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,500
We'll get him a voice coach.
246
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,150
But that's... not the problem.
247
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,152
It's just that he's...
248
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,153
Hey, Barry!
249
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,196
Ah! We got Paul Hogan here!
250
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,115
We're just discussing
the Dundee casting.
251
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:17,451
My man! Crocodile Dundee!
252
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:18,951
Hey, Barry.
253
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,455
Sorry, Paul. You were saying?
254
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,581
Well, it just doesn't
make sense.
255
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:24,750
It's just that he's...
256
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:25,750
Hey, Kyle!
257
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:26,876
Yes?
258
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,294
Bring that thing in here.
259
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,378
For sure.
260
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,565
So we can show our excitement.
261
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,588
Ah!
262
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:34,051
Oh, great! Perfect!
263
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,719
Perfect timing.
264
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,511
It's a crocodile.
265
00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:41,265
Sorry, Paul, you were saying?
266
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,893
Oh, yeah, well...
267
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,977
You don't seem too sure
about Will... What is it?
268
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:45,979
You can tell us.
269
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:46,980
Mmm.
270
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,690
Be honest. Is... is it height?
271
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:49,691
No...
272
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:50,692
His build?
273
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:51,692
No...
274
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:52,693
What, his hair color?
275
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:53,695
Closer.
276
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:54,696
His acting?
277
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,697
No, I... I love Will Smith.
278
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:56,822
I think he's fabulous.
279
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,033
He's great. But, um...
280
00:10:58,115 --> 00:10:59,493
What?
281
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,701
What is it, Paul?
282
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,120
He's black.
283
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,586
You did what?
284
00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:10,836
I didn't do anything!
285
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,547
Paul, not more than
20 minutes ago,
286
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,048
I told you to behave yourself,
287
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,610
and now you suddenly decide
to become a racist?
288
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,760
Racist? Oh, rubbish!
289
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,971
They said you said you didn't
like Will Smith
290
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,306
because he was black.
291
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,100
No! I just said it makes
no sense
292
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,434
that me and the equally white
Sue Charlton
293
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,562
have an African-American son.
294
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,232
God, Paul! You can't say that!
295
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,402
Oh, I'm fairly sure I already
did.
296
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,446
Now I know why my dad always
wanted to quit managing you.
297
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,032
He never wanted to quit.
298
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,575
Paul?
299
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,159
Um, what do you say
300
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,620
we just keep this Will Smith
stuff to ourselves, huh?
301
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,414
And you just try and behave.
302
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:47,706
I'll try.
303
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:48,707
Okay.
304
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,126
Bye.
305
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,379
Oh... God!
306
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:47,682
Paddy?
307
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,812
You want your dinner, don't you?
308
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,441
Here it comes.
309
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:06,327
D Like you want to go d
310
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:09,498
d Baby, it's the time d
311
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:13,876
d I can make you mine... d
312
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:15,879
Hey, Dad.
313
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:16,879
Oh, hey, mate.
314
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:17,962
How's your day been?
315
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,173
Yeah, it's good, it's good.
316
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,424
Not too bad. How about you?
317
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,967
Mmm... not bad.
318
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,761
Listen, do you want any dinner?
319
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,740
Oh, I'm all right. I had a bite
earlier, actually, so...
320
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,474
Oh, well... Oop.
321
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,600
Hi.
322
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:29,850
Hello. Hi.
323
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:30,851
Hi.
324
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:31,852
Good to see you.
325
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,355
These are... they're my friends.
326
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,481
Yeah.
327
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,650
Um, there's some ice-cream
left down there.
328
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:38,919
You want me to leave you a bit?
329
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,611
You know what? I'm good,
actually, Dad.
330
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,154
But I might grab some
in a bit, eh?
331
00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:43,532
Okay.
332
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:44,884
Why don't you come in for a sec?
333
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,826
Well, I'd love to, but, um...
334
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,011
you know, it's a bit late for
me.
335
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:48,953
Sure.
336
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,788
Yeah. I'll leave you.
337
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,206
I love you, Dad.
Good to see you.
338
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,289
Love you.
339
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,334
See you.
340
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,876
As excitement builds
341
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:57,461
for Alf: The Musical,
342
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,923
which opens on Broadway
next week.
343
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,842
Meanwhile, at the
domestic box office,
344
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,096
Father-in-Law spent its second
week at number one,
345
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:09,057
making Pauly Shore's return
to the top now complete.
346
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,267
Welcome back, Pauly.
347
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,725
Yeah, indeed.
348
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,436
All right, finally,
the excitement
349
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,581
of Paul Hogan returning to
the public eye was short-lived,
350
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,024
with some now asking
whether the Australian actor
351
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,735
threw the snake as a publicity
stunt
352
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:23,404
in a vain attempt to
reinvigorate his acting career.
353
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,615
His acting career?
I think you're being too kind.
354
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,004
Hi, Grandpa!
355
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:41,548
Oh, Lucy! How are you, love?
356
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,341
What time is it over there?
357
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:46,344
Not sure, but early. I've got
rehearsals before school today.
358
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:47,886
Oh? What's that for?
359
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,806
I'm doing the school play.
The Wizard of Oz.
360
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,933
Well, today is my first day.
You should come and watch!
361
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:56,937
Oh, I'd love to, kid, but, um...
it's too far away.
362
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,898
Mum said you've been
getting in trouble.
363
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,232
Who, me?
364
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:01,567
You!
365
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,278
Nah. She's probably
getting
366
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,404
confused with someone else.
367
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,907
Oh. I wish you'd
come back home, Grandpa.
368
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,701
Oh, believe me, kiddo, I'd be
back there in a heartbeat
369
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:14,163
if I thought my poor old dog
Paddy could handle the flight.
370
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,125
Especially now that Chase is
doing so well over here.
371
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:20,086
Yeah. I've heard about
Uncle Chase.
372
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,298
Yeah! Never ceases
to amaze me, that kid.
373
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:27,217
I think he's running a nightclub
out of his bedroom.
374
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,679
So, how's the new school going?
375
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,057
It's okay.
376
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:33,807
Made any new friends?
377
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,269
Grandpa?
378
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,562
Yeah?
379
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:38,937
I love you.
380
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,731
Oh, I love you too, sweetie.
381
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,985
I'd better get going. Bye!
382
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,745
Valet?
383
00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,538
Oh, yeah.
384
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,134
Kimmel had a good one on you.
385
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,804
Oh, yeah, and Colbert. He did
a good five minutes on you.
386
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:12,806
Great.
387
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,057
For somebody who just wants
388
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,475
a quiet life and to be
left alone,
389
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:17,226
you're not doing a very
good job of it.
390
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,769
Nah, I'm not, am I?
391
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,855
Hey, talk is you're now
taking to hate crimes.
392
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,774
What next, the Klan?
393
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:27,403
The studio! They wanted Will
Smith to play Dundee Jr!
394
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,404
Will Smith?
395
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,405
Yeah!
396
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,407
That's ridiculous!
397
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,408
I know!
398
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:32,491
I'll play Dundee.
399
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:33,868
What, you thought I'd retired?
400
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,745
I did Die Hard, for Chrissakes!
401
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:36,745
I know.
402
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,746
People love me!
403
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:38,748
I know.
404
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:39,749
Yo! Where's Urkel?!
405
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:40,832
I did that too.
406
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,251
Yeah, I know!
407
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,846
Come on.
408
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:02,480
Paul! Hi!
409
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,023
Oh, Livvy! Hi!
410
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,527
All right, see you.
411
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,528
Good to see you!
412
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,155
Oh, lovely!
413
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,156
Oh, you know Reggie.
414
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,157
Of course I do.
415
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,659
How are you? Nice to see you.
416
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:17,202
I was just thinking about you
the other day.
417
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,328
Oh, really?
418
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,597
Yeah. I was thinking we haven't
419
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,807
seen each other for a long time
420
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,000
and it's time we caught up.
421
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,292
Yeah. That'd be great.
422
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,919
Yeah. I've got a girlfriend
coming
423
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,130
to visit from home, Ella,
in a couple of weeks.
424
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:28,882
I thought that'd be
a great time.
425
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,508
Yeah.
426
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,551
You know, I was just saying
that he needs a woman.
427
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,511
Perfect!
428
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,682
So, um, what are you two guys
doing next Tuesday night?
429
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,933
Tuesday? Um...
430
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:43,229
Yeah, I'm doing this charity
thingy at my neighbor's school
431
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,124
and it's gonna be a lot of fun.
You should come.
432
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,775
Oh. Yeah.
433
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,317
John said he might come along,
434
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,319
sing a couple of songs with me
from Grease.
435
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,739
And there's gonna be, like,
face painting and art stalls
436
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,865
and a barbie. You'll fit right
in.
437
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,410
Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
438
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,369
Oh. Oh! Tuesday.
439
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:02,039
Yeah, well, see, Tuesday,
I've got, um...
440
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:06,376
Pity... oh, pity it wasn't
Wednesday.
441
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,378
You know, 'cause if it had
been Wednesday,
442
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:09,881
I'd have been there with
bells on.
443
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:10,882
Yeah.
444
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:11,964
Hold on!
445
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,093
I think it is Wednesday!
446
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,638
Oh.
447
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:20,474
It is Wednesday. That's great.
You can come.
448
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:21,809
Perfect.
449
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:24,103
But look. Here's a flyer.
450
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,164
It's all about helping kids
who can't help themselves.
451
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,732
Oh. I think it'll be great
you can go.
452
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,484
After all of the bad press,
453
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,278
being seen at some charity event
is exactly what you need.
454
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,823
Thanks.
455
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,746
And, uh, maybe afterwards,
we can take a selfie
456
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,785
and remind the world
how much we love you.
457
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:39,867
Oh, yeah.
458
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:41,954
Yeah.
459
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,719
Everything all right, sir?
460
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,180
Oh, yeah. Just looking for
the valet.
461
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,599
We don't have a valet.
462
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,935
This is a supermarket.
463
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:32,171
Hey, no. No filming unless
you've got money. Come on.
464
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:35,048
What have you got? You got $5?
Or any coins or anything?
465
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,344
Oh, yeah, I grew this after
the movie. I'm the real guy.
466
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,345
You want a photo?
467
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,430
Who are you meant to be?
468
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,472
Huh? Better than Batman, hey?
469
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,976
Why don't you try picking on
someone your own size?
470
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,644
Oh, go away, grandad!
Oh, come on!
471
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:49,897
What?
472
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,275
Well, at least stop being rude
to the kids, Okay?
473
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,318
Oh, wow! I thought you were
dead!
474
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,945
Well, I'm not, shit-for-brains.
475
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,280
Oh! Okay.
476
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,990
"Look out! He's got a knife!"
477
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:02,576
Oh, yes. You have a knife,
but mine's bigger.
478
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,497
So, you want a photo? Come on!
479
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,749
That's not the line!
480
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:08,750
Yeah, it is.
481
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,959
No, it's not!
482
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,461
It's not the line!
483
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,584
I've been doing this
for 20 years. I think I'd know.
484
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,173
What?!
485
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,049
Go away. You're bad
for my business.
486
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,468
I am your business!
487
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,010
Yeah, right!
488
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,888
Hi. Uh...
489
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,141
I would love to take the photo?
490
00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:26,224
Oh. Okay.
491
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,226
Yes?
492
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:28,227
Oh, just...
493
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,228
Okay. Okay.
494
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:30,813
Yeah. Come here. Okay.
495
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,397
Come on!
496
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,523
There you go.
497
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:35,902
Oh!
498
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,153
Thank you.
499
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,238
I'll show her my knife later.
Hey?
500
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,281
You are such a sack of shit.
501
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,534
Come on, boys! Hey?
502
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:44,535
Ha!
503
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,078
That's it!
504
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,997
Oh, Wally! That's my boys! Yes!
505
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,375
Yeah! How's that for the real
thing? That's it!
506
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,133
Crocodile Dundee star Paul Hogan
507
00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:02,053
tried to strangle a child today
when what was seemingly
508
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,055
a child's innocent request
for a photo
509
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:06,348
enraged the obviously
troubled star.
510
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,601
Oh! You little mongrel!
511
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,686
I'll rip your little head off!
512
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,313
Several onlookers,
513
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,523
including Dorothy Springborg
from Delaware,
514
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,567
were almost caught up
in the brawl.
515
00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:18,277
It was disgusting.
516
00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,654
These were innocent children,
for heck's sake!
517
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:27,494
Um... oh, well, it wasn't as bad
as I thought.
518
00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:30,832
I... don't even feel like
I know you anymore.
519
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:32,959
I can't even look at you!
520
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:35,336
I know. If you're worried
about it,
521
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,878
book me on one of them
tonight shows.
522
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,588
Book you on one of those
tonight shows?
523
00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,258
I mean, apart from
being a punchline
524
00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:41,675
in their monologues lately,
525
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,358
they're not gonna have you
on their show!
526
00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:44,761
God!
527
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,346
All right, well, what about
Ellen?
528
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:49,099
No! And you've killed any
chance of the knighthood.
529
00:21:49,182 --> 00:21:51,352
I mean, Paul, what were
you thinking?!
530
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,104
I don't care about a knighthood.
531
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:55,440
But I do, Paul. I do.
532
00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:58,108
I thought we were meeting
the Queen. And you agreed.
533
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:00,278
No, no. I never agreed
to any knighthood.
534
00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,945
But I told them that you did!
535
00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:03,698
Well, tell 'em I didn't.
536
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:05,550
Seriously? You want me
to cancel the knighthood?
537
00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:06,491
Absolutely.
538
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:07,701
Want me to call the palace?
539
00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:09,077
Yeah, call it right now.
540
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:10,078
And tell them no?
541
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,163
Yep.
542
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,164
Uh-huh. Oh, hang on.
543
00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:16,251
I don't know why I bother.
544
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,920
I wish you wouldn't.
545
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,507
Oi. You out of bread.
546
00:22:22,549 --> 00:22:24,343
I wonder why.
547
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:25,720
Oh, hi, sweetie.
548
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:27,680
Grandpa, are you getting
a knighthood?
549
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,140
Uh...
550
00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:30,807
'Cause Mum said you were,
551
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:32,661
and I told some kids
at my new school you were,
552
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,561
and they laughed and said
I'm a liar.
553
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:36,439
I'm not a liar, am I, Grandpa?
554
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,857
No. You're not a liar.
555
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,736
You are getting a knighthood?
556
00:22:41,818 --> 00:22:44,780
Uh... y... uh, yeah,
services to comedy.
557
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,075
Yes! I knew it! Bye, Pa!
558
00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:48,157
Bye, love.
559
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:51,871
Oh, what a web we weave!
560
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:55,540
Ha. Just called the palace.
561
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,336
They're really not happy.
562
00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,421
Oh. Uh, see, here's the thing...
563
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:01,588
No.
564
00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:02,882
You'll have to call 'em back.
565
00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:04,174
No!
566
00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:06,051
Well, Lucy thinks
I'm getting it.
567
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:08,011
I'm gonna look like an idiot!
568
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,430
Well, she told the kids
at school.
569
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:10,431
They'll get over it.
570
00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:11,432
No, they won't.
571
00:23:11,516 --> 00:23:12,432
It's a new school.
572
00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:13,535
She's trying to make friends.
573
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:14,810
It's not happening.
574
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,520
What about my, uh, legacy?
575
00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:19,272
You know, uh... put Australia
on the map, had a TV show...
576
00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,400
Oh, and you always good
with the ladies!
577
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,568
Good with the la... ladies.
578
00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:25,403
Okay, fine! I will call them.
579
00:23:25,488 --> 00:23:27,448
But I am telling them
you're an idiot.
580
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:30,242
Great. Great. Love ya!
581
00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:41,796
Wow.
582
00:23:41,878 --> 00:23:45,215
Is two o'clock. Is time
for your siesta.
583
00:23:45,298 --> 00:23:48,094
Come on, Paddy. Help me cut
the grass.
584
00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:58,855
Ah.
585
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,776
Oh.
586
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,238
Wayne?
587
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:08,990
I need somewhere to stay.
588
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:11,366
Carol is driving me crazy!
589
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,368
She keeps saying I'm too loud!
590
00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:14,451
Too loud?
591
00:24:14,494 --> 00:24:15,788
Yeah!
592
00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,623
And... and... and the kids
are crying.
593
00:24:17,707 --> 00:24:19,250
Crying? Uh...
594
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,376
I just need someplace quiet.
For a couple of days.
595
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,461
Uh... it's not really
a good time...
596
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:25,131
Well, you won't even know
I'm here!
597
00:24:25,213 --> 00:24:28,509
I start rehearsals
on Broadway soon!
598
00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:29,844
I-I need to practice.
599
00:24:29,926 --> 00:24:32,305
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
600
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:35,892
If Carol asks...
601
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:37,977
you haven't seen me. Yeah?
602
00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:56,703
Ahh.
603
00:24:59,749 --> 00:25:01,791
D Hello, my baby,
hello, my honey
604
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:04,002
d Hello, my ragtime gal
605
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:06,338
d Send me a kiss by wire
606
00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:08,423
d Baby, my heart's on fire
607
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,968
d If you refuse me,
honey, you'll lose me
608
00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:12,678
d Then you'll be left alone
609
00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:17,724
d Oh, baby, telephone
and tell me I'm your own! d
610
00:25:28,693 --> 00:25:29,693
d Hello, my baby
611
00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:32,240
d Hello, my ragtime
612
00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:33,449
d Send me a kiss
613
00:25:34,659 --> 00:25:36,368
d Baby, my heart's on fire... d
614
00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:41,749
Wait. So he sings?
615
00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:44,125
Yeah. And he also tap-dances.
616
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:45,126
Oh.
617
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:46,211
Evidently.
618
00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:47,712
Cop it.
619
00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,714
D Send me a kiss by wire
Baby, my heart's... d
620
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:53,802
Paul, you have three showers.
Why is he using your ensuite?
621
00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:57,138
Oh, he said the acoustics
are better in my bathroom.
622
00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:58,974
Oh, what time is
the Olivia thing?
623
00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:00,977
Oh. That's now.
624
00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:03,561
You know, I am so glad
you're doing this.
625
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:06,231
And I really think people
are starting to forget
626
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:08,150
that you threw a snake
at those bystanders.
627
00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:10,193
And that you tried to beat up
those kids.
628
00:26:10,278 --> 00:26:11,945
And the Will Smith thing.
629
00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:14,073
But I honestly think it's
almost all behind us.
630
00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:16,784
So it's the perfect time to be
seen with the lovely Livvy
631
00:26:16,866 --> 00:26:18,326
doing something for the kids.
632
00:26:18,411 --> 00:26:20,121
Oh, yeah, that'll be fun.
633
00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:22,057
Oh, do you want me to organize
a lift for you or something?
634
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,749
Oh, no, I've booked a car.
Thanks.
635
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,084
Okay.
636
00:26:25,166 --> 00:26:27,211
Oh, and Paul, I'm really sorry
637
00:26:27,295 --> 00:26:29,797
I've been so crazy about this
whole knighthood thing.
638
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,424
I am just so proud of you
and the fact that I...
639
00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:33,425
Oh, there's my car now.
640
00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:34,426
Get to be there with you...
641
00:26:34,509 --> 00:26:36,095
I'd better go.
642
00:26:36,177 --> 00:26:38,306
Hey, uh, give my love
to your mum.
643
00:26:39,515 --> 00:26:41,517
Rude!
644
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:55,448
Paul!
645
00:26:55,530 --> 00:26:56,574
John?
646
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:06,666
Mint?
647
00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:08,085
Oh, uh, no, thanks.
648
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,545
Is the air all right?
649
00:27:09,627 --> 00:27:11,087
Oh, yeah, excellent, John.
650
00:27:11,172 --> 00:27:13,007
Good. Oh. Bottle of water?
651
00:27:13,089 --> 00:27:14,759
Oh, yes. Thank you.
652
00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,594
Yeah, I love it.
653
00:27:16,676 --> 00:27:19,930
You know, I don't get stuck
behind a desk, I'm my own boss,
654
00:27:20,013 --> 00:27:22,057
I get to meet interesting
people,
655
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:25,144
and, uh... let's face it,
these days,
656
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:30,231
romantic leads for 79-year-old
actors are few and far between.
657
00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:31,316
Mm-hm.
658
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:32,859
Tch! Hollywood!
659
00:27:32,942 --> 00:27:34,403
You'd know all about that, eh?
660
00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:35,738
Yes, I...
661
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,825
You steaming turd!
662
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:43,119
Um...
663
00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:44,246
Hmm?
664
00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:45,873
I don't mean to be nosy,
but, uh...
665
00:27:45,955 --> 00:27:47,875
you know, you're happy
driving and everything.
666
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:51,252
Uh... what happened after
all your success? I...
667
00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:54,964
Oh, the money. Uh, well,
you know, alimony.
668
00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:55,965
Oh.
669
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:57,509
Parties.
670
00:27:57,593 --> 00:28:00,429
Drugs. Gambling.
671
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,347
Hookers.
672
00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:06,143
Prostitutes. Ladies of the
night.
673
00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:09,939
No, no, I'm being silly.
I never gamble.
674
00:28:10,021 --> 00:28:12,232
All right, here we are.
675
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,127
Huh. It looks bigger
than I thought.
676
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:36,298
D When you're facing
All kinds of trouble d
677
00:28:36,382 --> 00:28:38,634
Just hang on a sec.
678
00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:43,471
"A charity concert
for disadvantaged children."
679
00:28:43,556 --> 00:28:47,058
Ah. "Helping kids who can't
help themselves."
680
00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:48,477
Thanks, Johnno.
681
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:49,769
Okay.
682
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,612
Mr. Hogan.
683
00:28:58,695 --> 00:28:59,613
Why are you here?
684
00:28:59,697 --> 00:29:01,030
Oh, Olivia asked me to come.
685
00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:02,700
But... why here?
686
00:29:02,782 --> 00:29:06,703
Oh, to help. To help these
unfortunate little people.
687
00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:10,249
And they need all the help
they can get. You know?
688
00:29:10,332 --> 00:29:12,876
I mean, they've had a raw deal
out of life,
689
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,796
and... it's up to us
to try and help 'em.
690
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:16,880
Mm-hm.
691
00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:21,634
D Give it up d
692
00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:24,805
d La, la, la, la, la, la d
693
00:29:24,888 --> 00:29:26,390
Oh, really?
694
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:28,183
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I don't pity them.
695
00:29:28,267 --> 00:29:31,269
They're having a little,
uh... concert in here tonight,
696
00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:33,897
and some of 'em are gonna
get up and try and sing.
697
00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:35,982
Try and sing?
698
00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:37,317
Okay...
699
00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:38,861
Oh, my pl... my pleasure.
700
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,820
Uh, Mr. Hogan, do you mind
701
00:29:40,904 --> 00:29:43,115
clarifying some of
your comments tonight?
702
00:29:43,199 --> 00:29:44,825
Oh, it's pretty simple.
703
00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:48,412
I'm here to help those
less fortunate than I am
704
00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:51,164
and, um... help them
in any way I can.
705
00:29:51,248 --> 00:29:52,458
"Help"?
706
00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:53,540
Yeah.
707
00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:54,501
You're trying to help?
708
00:29:54,585 --> 00:29:55,585
Yeah.
709
00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:57,922
Paul?
710
00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:07,640
Thank you, Mr. Hogan.
711
00:30:11,352 --> 00:30:12,769
Did he just say what...
712
00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:13,979
No. I'm not...
713
00:30:27,910 --> 00:30:29,744
You're here!
714
00:30:29,827 --> 00:30:31,829
Anything for you, Livvy.
And the kids.
715
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,374
Of course.
716
00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,625
Sister Mary, I'd like you
to meet Paul.
717
00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,877
Sister Mary is our wonderful
fundraiser.
718
00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:40,838
It's a great pleasure
to meet you, Mr. Dundee.
719
00:30:40,923 --> 00:30:42,674
Oh. Pleasure to meet you too
Mary.
720
00:30:43,968 --> 00:30:45,885
It's John. I need a favor.
721
00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:14,080
D I got chills,
they're multiplyin'
722
00:31:14,163 --> 00:31:17,710
d And I'm losing control
723
00:31:17,792 --> 00:31:18,792
Lose control, baby!
724
00:31:20,003 --> 00:31:23,173
D 'Cause the power you're
supplyin'
725
00:31:23,257 --> 00:31:25,800
d It's electrifyin'
726
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,928
Where's Johnny?
727
00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:29,387
D You'd better shape up
728
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,682
d 'Cause I need a man
729
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,183
What the hell is this?!
730
00:31:34,268 --> 00:31:36,019
D And my heart is set on you
731
00:31:36,103 --> 00:31:37,354
Get off the damn stage!
732
00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:38,355
D Shape up
733
00:31:38,439 --> 00:31:40,106
Boo! You're not Johnny T!
734
00:31:40,190 --> 00:31:41,692
D You'd better understand
735
00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:43,295
You're ruining the show, man!
Where's Johnny T?!
736
00:31:43,318 --> 00:31:44,694
I hate you!
737
00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:46,404
Get off the damn stage,
popsicle!
738
00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:48,365
D Nothing left for me to do
739
00:31:48,449 --> 00:31:50,491
d You're the one that I want
740
00:31:50,576 --> 00:31:52,744
Boo! God, get off the stage!
741
00:31:52,827 --> 00:31:54,163
You're not the one that we want!
742
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,246
Where's Johnny T?!
743
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:56,288
Where's Johnny?!
744
00:31:56,332 --> 00:31:57,833
Please calm down.
745
00:31:57,915 --> 00:32:00,126
I'm sorry, Sister. You got
Jesus, we got Johnny!
746
00:32:00,210 --> 00:32:02,003
We did not ask for this tragedy!
747
00:32:02,086 --> 00:32:04,548
You have no idea how much
he loves Johnny!
748
00:32:04,632 --> 00:32:06,108
Sister, you have Jesus,
we have Johnny!
749
00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:07,175
This is not...
750
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:08,344
Hey, don't cry, honey.
751
00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:09,426
I'm gonna get up there
752
00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:10,654
and kick the grease outta you!
753
00:32:10,679 --> 00:32:11,680
Do something!
754
00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:12,763
I'm doing it!
755
00:32:30,657 --> 00:32:32,076
He's killed a nun!
756
00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:33,661
He's killed a nun!
757
00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:35,162
Oh, you're going to hell
now, buddy.
758
00:32:35,244 --> 00:32:37,955
Burn! Burn in hell!
759
00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:39,124
It's okay, babe.
760
00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:43,836
She's alive!
761
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,423
She's alive!
762
00:33:17,538 --> 00:33:18,997
Ow!
763
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,457
Ooh!
764
00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:25,170
No, no, no! I'm Luke!
765
00:33:25,253 --> 00:33:26,922
I'm a wedding photographer!
766
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,673
I'm from Indiana!
767
00:33:28,757 --> 00:33:29,883
And?
768
00:33:29,967 --> 00:33:31,801
Um...
769
00:33:31,884 --> 00:33:33,302
That's, uh...
770
00:33:33,386 --> 00:33:34,762
That's all I got.
771
00:33:34,846 --> 00:33:38,016
What was so interesting
up my tree?
772
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,768
Okay, look.
773
00:33:39,852 --> 00:33:42,395
I, uh... I was
a wedding photographer.
774
00:33:42,479 --> 00:33:44,815
Till I messed things up.
I went to the wrong wedding.
775
00:33:44,897 --> 00:33:47,067
Oh, the other photographer
got so mad at me,
776
00:33:47,151 --> 00:33:49,027
and then no-one would hire me.
777
00:33:49,111 --> 00:33:51,864
But then my mom, she got me
a job at a magazine.
778
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:54,782
So, I go out, they ask me
to go get a photo of Eric Bana,
779
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:56,201
'cause he was visiting our town,
780
00:33:56,285 --> 00:33:57,869
but I got confused.
781
00:33:57,952 --> 00:34:00,038
I went and got a picture
of Eric Banana.
782
00:34:00,122 --> 00:34:02,415
The fruit king.
Do you know him?
783
00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:05,042
He knows so much about fruit!
784
00:34:05,126 --> 00:34:07,296
After that, my boss,
he just suggested
785
00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:10,132
that I should just move far
away, you know, maybe to LA,
786
00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:13,217
and become a...
freelance paparazzo.
787
00:34:13,302 --> 00:34:15,262
Oh, great. That's what we need.
788
00:34:15,344 --> 00:34:17,472
Another idiot taking photos
of me.
789
00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:20,726
Actually, no, I'm trying to get
a photo of Kim Kardashian.
790
00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:23,353
But, yeah, I can't find
where her house is.
791
00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:25,438
She is so sneaky.
792
00:34:25,521 --> 00:34:29,443
Anyway, I took the star tour
and we went past here.
793
00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:32,820
Oh, so I'm still on the star
map, am I?
794
00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:36,074
No. No, you're not.
But you know who is?
795
00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:38,367
Bob Saget from Full House!
796
00:34:38,452 --> 00:34:40,454
He's, like, your neighbor!
797
00:34:40,536 --> 00:34:42,998
We all got out. We were taking
pictures of his place.
798
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,373
It was so awesome.
799
00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:46,710
Yeah, and then I looked over
and I saw you.
800
00:34:46,793 --> 00:34:48,646
You were, like, getting
your trash cans or something.
801
00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,713
And I was like,
"Hey! That's Paul Hogan!"
802
00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:52,382
And then the driver
was like, "No.
803
00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:54,092
"No, that's not Paul Hogan.
He's dead."
804
00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:55,719
He said that?
805
00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:56,804
Yeah.
806
00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:59,389
I'm glad you're not dead, Paul.
807
00:34:59,472 --> 00:35:02,601
Look, uh... listen,
I don't want to do this. I'm...
808
00:35:02,684 --> 00:35:05,728
It's just... you're the only
celebrity friend I have.
809
00:35:05,813 --> 00:35:09,650
Do you know, maybe? Do you know
where Kim Kardashian lives?
810
00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:12,753
Look, if you're looking
for celebrities,
811
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:14,403
go down to Melrose Avenue.
812
00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:15,822
That's where they all hang out.
813
00:35:15,905 --> 00:35:17,574
Okay. Okay.
814
00:35:17,657 --> 00:35:19,409
Or you know what?
I could stay here.
815
00:35:19,492 --> 00:35:20,409
No.
816
00:35:20,494 --> 00:35:21,411
Aw!
817
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:23,288
No? It's fine. Okay.
818
00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:25,748
Do you... What's the best way
to get to this Melrose?
819
00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:26,833
Drive there.
820
00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:28,293
Drive there? Got it.
821
00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:29,920
I don't have a car.
822
00:35:30,003 --> 00:35:31,420
Bloody hell.
823
00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:33,005
You know what? That's fine.
824
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:35,050
That's fine. I can hitch.
825
00:35:35,132 --> 00:35:36,802
It works.
826
00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:41,806
All right. So, I will do that.
I'll just get my... my stuff.
827
00:35:41,889 --> 00:35:44,268
Ohh!
828
00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:46,018
It's... Whoo!
829
00:35:46,103 --> 00:35:48,438
Don't worry about me.
It's not as heavy as it looks.
830
00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:49,981
It's all good.
831
00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:51,942
Uh...
832
00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:53,402
That way.
833
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:55,903
Of course it is.
834
00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:57,572
Wish I would have
known that earlier.
835
00:35:57,655 --> 00:35:59,574
This is not a backpack. Ohh!
836
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:01,827
All right, well, hey, it was
great meeting you, Paul.
837
00:36:01,909 --> 00:36:03,661
Okay.
838
00:36:05,998 --> 00:36:07,541
Did you say something?
839
00:36:09,751 --> 00:36:11,753
I thought you said "aww."
I heard some "aww."
840
00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:14,172
No. No. No.
841
00:36:16,425 --> 00:36:18,677
I really wish we could hang out
longer.
842
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,429
But I gotta get going.
843
00:36:32,608 --> 00:36:34,443
D I'm your all! d
844
00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:36,193
Though, the police vow
they will continue
845
00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:37,862
to search for the Phantom Valet,
846
00:36:37,945 --> 00:36:41,199
claiming he has now stolen
upwards of 85 motor vehicles.
847
00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:44,786
In other news, it was all the
talk of the BT Awards tonight
848
00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,954
when ex-movie star Paul Hogan
849
00:36:47,039 --> 00:36:48,789
got himself in a lot of trouble.
850
00:36:48,873 --> 00:36:50,416
Mr. Hogan, why are you here?
851
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:53,670
To help these unfortunate
little people.
852
00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:55,505
And they need all the help
they can g...
853
00:36:55,588 --> 00:36:58,132
I'm an ambassador for
Australia, Okay, for tourism,
854
00:36:58,215 --> 00:37:02,304
but... to be honest...
you know, I...
855
00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:04,889
I've started telling people
I'm from New Zealand.
856
00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:08,351
Yeah, I... I even married one.
You know? So...
857
00:37:08,434 --> 00:37:11,563
Look, I don't know what
Hogan's problem is.
858
00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:13,981
Uh, maybe he thinks it's funny,
I don't know.
859
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:15,775
But, you know, as with
Lightning Jack,
860
00:37:15,858 --> 00:37:17,318
no-one else is laughing.
861
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:19,528
I was with some friends
the other night.
862
00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:22,782
Mike Tyson, Mickey Rourke,
Charlie Sheen.
863
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:25,327
We all agreed
864
00:37:25,409 --> 00:37:29,581
that no-one's fallen from grace
as hard as Paul Hogan.
865
00:37:31,123 --> 00:37:33,335
It's embarrassing.
Is it the drugs?
866
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,762
Oh, bummer.
867
00:37:43,844 --> 00:37:46,389
Oh, well. You're happy here,
aren't you?
868
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:53,730
Australia.
There's no place like it.
869
00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:56,023
I'll see you next week, Barry.
870
00:37:56,108 --> 00:37:59,110
Not a lot of crocs
out here, huh?
871
00:37:59,193 --> 00:38:03,072
Just 37,000 miles of pristine,
beautiful beach, mate.
872
00:38:03,155 --> 00:38:04,490
Like I don't know that!
873
00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:20,548
Alrighty, guys. Good morning.
874
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:22,693
You ready to feel the burn
in your legs and in your soul?
875
00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:25,429
Let's go! G'day, man.
How are you, mate?
876
00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:28,806
Ready, guys? Limber up
and get ready.
877
00:38:28,889 --> 00:38:30,726
Kick! One. Two.
878
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,728
Three. Feel the burn.
Feel the pain.
879
00:38:33,811 --> 00:38:35,731
It's gonna hurt. Not gonna lie.
880
00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:45,740
Bring in the energy.
881
00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:50,619
Bit of this. Bit of that.
882
00:38:50,704 --> 00:38:53,081
He teaches aerobics now?
883
00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:57,001
Come on!
884
00:38:57,085 --> 00:38:58,753
Squat! Squat!
885
00:39:00,463 --> 00:39:01,965
Hey, Dad.
886
00:39:02,048 --> 00:39:03,842
You want some breakfast?
887
00:39:03,925 --> 00:39:05,510
Nah. Nah, I'm right. I got this.
888
00:39:05,594 --> 00:39:07,762
Why don't you put your gear on
and come out?
889
00:39:07,846 --> 00:39:09,472
Uh, yeah.
890
00:39:10,431 --> 00:39:11,932
All right.
891
00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:17,105
Hold. Pulse. Pulse. Pulse.
Pulse.
892
00:39:24,862 --> 00:39:26,822
What do you reckon, guys?
893
00:39:28,824 --> 00:39:31,702
Very nice. Very, very nice.
894
00:39:31,786 --> 00:39:35,581
The woman is 81
years old and a nun.
895
00:39:35,664 --> 00:39:38,168
I just need to know, why?
896
00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:39,168
Ha!
897
00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:40,170
She was annoying me.
898
00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:41,170
She was annoying you?!
899
00:39:41,253 --> 00:39:42,172
No!
900
00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:43,422
Look, it was an accident.
901
00:39:43,507 --> 00:39:45,842
Okay. So, just so I get this
right
902
00:39:45,925 --> 00:39:47,760
when I call the palace,
903
00:39:47,844 --> 00:39:51,097
you, um, threw a deadly snake
at a fifth-grade teacher,
904
00:39:51,181 --> 00:39:53,432
insulted an African-American
superstar,
905
00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:55,101
attempted to beat up
two children,
906
00:39:55,184 --> 00:39:56,686
offended the entire
black community
907
00:39:56,769 --> 00:39:58,230
and knocked out a nun?
908
00:39:58,313 --> 00:39:59,563
What am I forgetting here?
909
00:39:59,648 --> 00:40:01,148
Why are you calling the palace?
910
00:40:01,233 --> 00:40:03,443
I'm calling the palace
to cancel the knighthood!
911
00:40:03,527 --> 00:40:07,197
Before they find out about you
and do it for us.
912
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,367
Paul, I am trying
to get out of this
913
00:40:10,449 --> 00:40:13,577
with a teeny-tiny amount
of dignity.
914
00:40:15,996 --> 00:40:17,998
Okay, what time is it
in London right now?
915
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:21,628
Uh, no. Don't call the palace.
Don't cancel the knighthood.
916
00:40:21,710 --> 00:40:23,088
I promised Lucy.
917
00:40:23,170 --> 00:40:24,547
Okay, fine. Fine.
918
00:40:24,630 --> 00:40:26,757
I'm just... I'm amazed
that the media
919
00:40:26,842 --> 00:40:28,802
hasn't picked up on this story
yet.
920
00:40:28,885 --> 00:40:31,304
And thank God she's okay.
This woman, this, um, Sister...
921
00:40:31,387 --> 00:40:32,972
Mary Murphy.
922
00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:34,056
Mary Murphy.
923
00:40:34,099 --> 00:40:35,599
And do you know why
924
00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,686
the media hasn't picked up
on the story yet?
925
00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:42,731
Because I have been up since 2am
calling every contact I know.
926
00:40:42,815 --> 00:40:44,192
I...
927
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:45,568
Are you even listening to me?
928
00:40:45,652 --> 00:40:47,153
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
929
00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:48,905
What are you... Hey!
930
00:40:48,989 --> 00:40:50,782
I have been up all night
calling in favors,
931
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:52,425
a lot of which I am
really not proud of,
932
00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:54,411
all so they wouldn't run
this story!
933
00:40:54,494 --> 00:40:57,038
Oh, yeah. Look, I appreciate
that too.
934
00:40:57,121 --> 00:40:58,706
But I was thinking, um,
935
00:40:58,789 --> 00:41:01,208
why don't you try and get me
on some of the tonight shows?
936
00:41:01,293 --> 00:41:02,918
What? No! No.
937
00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:06,047
Forget the tonight shows.
They're not interested.
938
00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:09,300
And, Paul, why do you want to
draw more attention to yourself?
939
00:41:10,467 --> 00:41:11,760
Okay, I'll tell you what.
940
00:41:11,844 --> 00:41:14,889
I will hold off
on calling the palace
941
00:41:14,972 --> 00:41:17,224
if you agree to have lunch
942
00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:19,628
with someone who is willing
to get you off the front pages.
943
00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:21,396
Who?
944
00:41:21,478 --> 00:41:24,398
A decent, respectable,
dignified man.
945
00:41:24,481 --> 00:41:25,817
Oh. Some actor.
946
00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:28,695
No, an acrobat. Yes, an actor!
947
00:41:28,777 --> 00:41:31,530
Look, I don't want to have
lunch with some actor.
948
00:41:31,614 --> 00:41:33,240
I don't have lunch with anybody.
949
00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:35,911
Well, if you don't want me
to cancel the knighthood,
950
00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:37,329
you're going.
951
00:41:37,411 --> 00:41:40,164
I mean, he's willing
to sit down with you
952
00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:44,376
and spend time to explain
what it's like to be respectful
953
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:46,670
and... and someone... who...
954
00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:52,260
You're on TV right now,
aren't you?
955
00:41:55,304 --> 00:41:56,972
How bad is it?
956
00:41:57,056 --> 00:41:59,309
Uh...
957
00:41:59,391 --> 00:42:02,353
Yeah, Okay, so, where am I gonna
have lunch with this guy?
958
00:42:02,436 --> 00:42:03,938
Oh, God.
959
00:42:15,492 --> 00:42:17,159
Paul!
960
00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:19,536
Oh. Chevy.
961
00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:23,875
Ah. Oh.
962
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:25,585
This is, uh, pretty nice.
963
00:42:25,668 --> 00:42:28,420
Oh, yeah. Nice atmosphere,
great food.
964
00:42:28,505 --> 00:42:30,297
Can I take...
965
00:42:31,423 --> 00:42:32,592
Oh, my goodness!
966
00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:33,675
Oh!
967
00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:34,719
Lovely to meet you.
968
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:36,221
Oh!
969
00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:37,639
I just have to say,
970
00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:39,641
watching you perform
on Saturday Night Live
971
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,268
made me want to become
a comedian.
972
00:42:41,351 --> 00:42:43,519
Oh. How's that working out
for you?
973
00:42:43,603 --> 00:42:47,106
Well, I'm working here as
a waitress, so... not so great.
974
00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:49,442
Well, it takes intense training.
975
00:42:49,525 --> 00:42:53,487
But still, um... can I please
buy you a drink on the house?
976
00:42:53,570 --> 00:42:54,947
Oh, that'd be lovely.
977
00:42:55,030 --> 00:42:58,409
How about a glass, um...
Brown Brothers SMC?
978
00:42:58,492 --> 00:43:01,454
Oh, I love it. I love it.
Paul, would you...
979
00:43:01,538 --> 00:43:03,581
Yeah, I'll... I'll have
the same, thanks.
980
00:43:04,916 --> 00:43:07,293
You are aware that is $40
a glass?
981
00:43:07,376 --> 00:43:09,295
Sure.
982
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,217
You... do know who this is?
983
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:15,552
Yep.
984
00:43:18,179 --> 00:43:20,597
Wow. You've really been through
the wars, haven't you?
985
00:43:22,099 --> 00:43:24,101
Nah, it's fine. It's just,
my manager...
986
00:43:24,184 --> 00:43:25,894
People ask me constantly,
987
00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:28,106
how is it that I'm so loved
and adored?
988
00:43:28,188 --> 00:43:30,025
And, you know, it's actually
quite easy.
989
00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:31,735
How?
990
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,570
Just win an Oscar.
991
00:43:34,653 --> 00:43:36,197
Ah.
992
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,532
Wh... what did you win
an Oscar for?
993
00:43:38,615 --> 00:43:40,909
Caddyshack. First one.
994
00:43:40,994 --> 00:43:42,369
Uh-huh.
995
00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:43,496
Yeah.
996
00:43:43,579 --> 00:43:44,748
You win one of those suckers,
997
00:43:44,831 --> 00:43:46,070
you can do just about anything.
998
00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:47,500
Really?
999
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:52,338
Huh.
1000
00:43:52,422 --> 00:43:53,505
Are you okay, Mr. Chase?
1001
00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:55,175
Yes. You need to have these
fixed.
1002
00:43:55,257 --> 00:43:57,510
It just slid right off
the table.
1003
00:43:58,469 --> 00:43:59,846
Certainly.
1004
00:43:59,929 --> 00:44:02,806
I'll talk to the owner
about... gluing them on.
1005
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:11,231
Um, listen. I was nominated
for an Academy Award once.
1006
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,400
Really? What for?
1007
00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,487
Couldn't have been acting.
No offense.
1008
00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:19,532
It was for writing.
Best Screenplay.
1009
00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:21,742
Writing! Wow.
1010
00:44:21,826 --> 00:44:23,869
I didn't know that was still
a category.
1011
00:44:23,952 --> 00:44:26,246
What's next, Best Catering?
1012
00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:28,248
Ooh! Excuse me, Mr. Chase.
1013
00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:30,835
I am so sorry to interrupt you,
but I just have to say,
1014
00:44:30,918 --> 00:44:33,880
you were hilarious
in The Three Amigos.
1015
00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:35,715
Whoa! Blew me away.
1016
00:44:35,798 --> 00:44:40,177
Oh, and European Vacation?
You are an amazing man!
1017
00:44:40,260 --> 00:44:42,722
Oh, come on, now.
You're being silly.
1018
00:44:43,889 --> 00:44:45,141
We're all just human beings.
1019
00:44:45,224 --> 00:44:46,851
I'm exactly like you.
1020
00:44:46,934 --> 00:44:48,186
Except for the Oscar.
1021
00:44:50,271 --> 00:44:51,773
You have an Oscar?
1022
00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:53,065
Maybe.
1023
00:44:55,943 --> 00:44:57,612
Mm-hm.
1024
00:44:57,695 --> 00:44:58,905
She's cute.
1025
00:44:58,987 --> 00:45:00,657
Yeah.
1026
00:45:00,739 --> 00:45:02,659
Chevy! Are we still on
for badminton?
1027
00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:04,034
Absolutely.
1028
00:45:04,119 --> 00:45:06,329
And, Paul. How are you?
1029
00:45:06,413 --> 00:45:08,206
Oh. I'm good.
1030
00:45:08,289 --> 00:45:09,456
Great.
1031
00:45:09,541 --> 00:45:11,291
We've actually been
meaning to call.
1032
00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:14,628
We've had a good think, and
whilst we know you're not keen,
1033
00:45:14,711 --> 00:45:17,798
if you'd just put on the hat
one last time,
1034
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,427
we have a killer idea.
1035
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:21,844
Oh.
1036
00:45:21,927 --> 00:45:25,431
Dundee is angry.
Why is he angry?
1037
00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:28,476
Wait for it... His wife,
Sue, is dead.
1038
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:29,768
Dead?
1039
00:45:29,853 --> 00:45:31,271
Eaten by a crocodile.
1040
00:45:31,353 --> 00:45:33,063
You want revenge.
1041
00:45:33,148 --> 00:45:35,525
You enlist the help of a
gorgeous young park ranger
1042
00:45:35,608 --> 00:45:37,443
and boom! New love interest.
1043
00:45:37,527 --> 00:45:39,320
Sounds great. Sounds great.
1044
00:45:39,403 --> 00:45:41,655
You want to know who plays
the gorgeous park ranger?
1045
00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:43,449
Rachel McAdams!
1046
00:45:43,532 --> 00:45:44,826
Wow!
1047
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:46,202
As the love interest.
1048
00:45:46,286 --> 00:45:47,579
Rachel McAdams?
1049
00:45:47,661 --> 00:45:49,414
No.
1050
00:45:49,496 --> 00:45:51,373
Oh, come on. You don't like
Rachel McAdams?
1051
00:45:51,458 --> 00:45:52,791
I love Rachel McAdams.
1052
00:45:52,876 --> 00:45:54,835
She's great. Okay?
1053
00:45:54,918 --> 00:45:58,088
I'm bloody 80. She's, what, 30?
1054
00:45:59,965 --> 00:46:01,217
He does have a point.
1055
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:02,594
He's right.
1056
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:03,719
She's too old.
1057
00:46:03,802 --> 00:46:05,137
No, that's not what I'm...
1058
00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,139
Do you have the list
for High School Musical?
1059
00:46:07,222 --> 00:46:08,557
Yep.
1060
00:46:09,559 --> 00:46:10,684
Selena Gomez!
1061
00:46:10,768 --> 00:46:11,768
Emma Watson.
1062
00:46:11,853 --> 00:46:13,103
Abigail Breslin!
1063
00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:14,188
Yes!
1064
00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:16,900
No! No!
1065
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:19,652
You know something?
1066
00:46:19,735 --> 00:46:22,405
You're actually being
very, very difficult.
1067
00:46:22,489 --> 00:46:23,864
Oh.
1068
00:46:23,947 --> 00:46:25,782
He does have a point.
1069
00:46:25,867 --> 00:46:27,452
Mr. Chase.
1070
00:46:27,534 --> 00:46:28,869
Paul.
1071
00:46:28,952 --> 00:46:30,121
Yeah.
1072
00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:31,873
Oh. So, yeah, thanks, Chevy.
1073
00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:33,833
Oh, look at the time. Um...
1074
00:46:33,916 --> 00:46:36,460
Yeah, I've got to leave, Chevy.
I've got an appointment.
1075
00:46:36,543 --> 00:46:39,005
Oh, really? Uh... Check, please.
1076
00:46:39,088 --> 00:46:40,632
Here. I'll fix it.
1077
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:42,175
No, don't be silly.
1078
00:46:42,257 --> 00:46:43,927
Put that away. I've got this.
1079
00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:44,927
Are you sure?
1080
00:46:45,010 --> 00:46:46,554
Of course. My pleasure.
1081
00:46:46,637 --> 00:46:48,958
With everything you have going
on, it's the least I can do.
1082
00:46:50,016 --> 00:46:51,184
Yeah. Thanks.
1083
00:46:51,266 --> 00:46:53,186
Good to see you.
1084
00:46:54,686 --> 00:46:56,356
Thanks.
1085
00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:57,731
Uh, excuse me?
1086
00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,360
Was that Chevy Chase?
1087
00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:02,195
Yep.
1088
00:47:02,277 --> 00:47:04,489
He's lovely!
1089
00:47:04,572 --> 00:47:05,989
Uh, is he lovely?
1090
00:47:06,074 --> 00:47:08,617
Oh, yeah, he's...
he's, uh, very nice. Yeah.
1091
00:47:08,701 --> 00:47:10,954
I knew he would be.
1092
00:47:12,996 --> 00:47:14,791
Yep.
1093
00:47:16,251 --> 00:47:17,710
I love that guy.
1094
00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:21,213
National Lampoon's Vacation.
Fantastic.
1095
00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:24,092
Oi! He didn't pay
for his wine!
1096
00:47:34,936 --> 00:47:36,980
And that's all
from me, Ryan Elcar,
1097
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,565
and the team here at LA Local.
1098
00:47:38,648 --> 00:47:40,487
Be sure to keep watching
throughout the evening
1099
00:47:40,525 --> 00:47:42,110
for regular updates,
1100
00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:45,237
and tune from 5am tomorrow
when Suzanne O'Reilly
1101
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,907
takes you through what
you missed overnight...
1102
00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:53,371
d I gave my love a cherry
1103
00:47:53,454 --> 00:47:57,125
d That had no stone
1104
00:47:57,208 --> 00:48:01,461
d I gave my love a chicken
1105
00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:05,465
d That had no bones
1106
00:48:05,550 --> 00:48:09,429
d I gave my love a story
1107
00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:13,141
d That had no end
1108
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:17,394
d I gave my love a baby
1109
00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:18,646
d With no... d
1110
00:48:18,730 --> 00:48:19,771
Kid can sing.
1111
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:24,027
Oh, yeah, I heard.
All right, look.
1112
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:26,403
When I first heard about
the snake incident,
1113
00:48:26,487 --> 00:48:28,197
I was pretty upset,
'cause I thought
1114
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:29,615
Paul Hogan was already dead.
1115
00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:31,074
He's been away so...
1116
00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:32,702
I have to go on stage
every time and,
1117
00:48:32,784 --> 00:48:34,746
"Is that a knife?
Is this not a knife?
1118
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:36,331
"Is that a microphone?"
1119
00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:38,206
When asked about
their close friendship,
1120
00:48:38,291 --> 00:48:39,958
the Oscar-winner Gary Oldman
1121
00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:41,753
denied ever meeting
the troubled star...
1122
00:48:41,835 --> 00:48:43,588
Am I allowed to say "-wit"?
1123
00:48:43,670 --> 00:48:44,713
He's a [bleep...
1124
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,173
Though, John Travolta
1125
00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:47,507
refused to discuss Mr. Hogan.
1126
00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:50,302
No. No. That's a very dangerous
thing.
1127
00:48:50,385 --> 00:48:52,304
However, he released
a statement:
1128
00:48:52,387 --> 00:48:54,097
"I don't care what he does,
1129
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:56,076
"but the moment he stands
on stage with my Olivia
1130
00:48:56,099 --> 00:48:59,978
"and tries to destroy our
legacy, he's gone too far."
1131
00:49:01,356 --> 00:49:03,983
Hey. When did you learn
to play guitar?
1132
00:49:04,067 --> 00:49:05,735
A couple of weeks ago.
1133
00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:07,152
Course.
1134
00:49:07,235 --> 00:49:08,278
You should come out.
1135
00:49:08,362 --> 00:49:09,280
We're gonna have a barbie,
1136
00:49:09,364 --> 00:49:10,280
play some more tunes.
1137
00:49:10,364 --> 00:49:11,615
Okay.
1138
00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:13,659
Oh, I've got a Spanish lesson
at 8.
1139
00:49:13,742 --> 00:49:15,137
Make sure I don't forget,
all right?
1140
00:49:15,161 --> 00:49:16,788
You're learning
to speak Spanish?
1141
00:49:16,871 --> 00:49:18,706
No. Lo estoy ensenando.
1142
00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:22,668
I'm not. I'm teaching it.
1143
00:49:22,751 --> 00:49:24,711
Of course you are.
1144
00:49:26,755 --> 00:49:30,009
..the little support
Paul Hogan did once have
1145
00:49:30,092 --> 00:49:32,052
has disappeared completely.
1146
00:49:32,135 --> 00:49:34,889
Dad, you know no-one thinks
this stuff, right?
1147
00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:36,641
I hope not.
1148
00:49:36,724 --> 00:49:38,016
Gone off the rails, right?
1149
00:49:38,101 --> 00:49:39,740
I don't care what anyone says.
I love him.
1150
00:49:39,811 --> 00:49:41,269
This is all right, though.
1151
00:49:41,353 --> 00:49:42,623
I know he's had
a lot of criticism...
1152
00:49:42,646 --> 00:49:44,273
Ooh. She loves you.
1153
00:49:45,650 --> 00:49:48,277
See? You'll be right.
1154
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,239
You know, when I was a kid, I
used to hide under the blankets
1155
00:49:51,322 --> 00:49:53,699
when he wrestled those
crocodiles and snakes.
1156
00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:56,869
And what about Bindi and Paul?
I mean...
1157
00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:58,663
No...
1158
00:49:58,746 --> 00:50:02,375
No, you're talking about Steve
Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter.
1159
00:50:03,376 --> 00:50:04,918
Who did you ask about?
1160
00:50:05,001 --> 00:50:07,880
Crocodile Dundee.
Paul Hogan.
1161
00:50:07,963 --> 00:50:09,340
Oh, him.
1162
00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:11,007
Yeah, he's a dickhead.
1163
00:50:11,092 --> 00:50:12,844
All right, all right,
let me tell you
1164
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:14,804
what I think about
Mr. Paul Hogan...
1165
00:50:14,887 --> 00:50:18,432
Grandpa, have you
ever had anyone not like you?
1166
00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:23,061
Uh, oh, yeah, maybe
one or two people.
1167
00:50:23,146 --> 00:50:24,813
What did you do?
1168
00:50:24,896 --> 00:50:28,025
Well, nothing. You can't force
people to like you, love.
1169
00:50:28,108 --> 00:50:30,862
Yeah, I mean,
when I started on television,
1170
00:50:30,945 --> 00:50:32,947
one of my aunties
was saying to me,
1171
00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:34,782
"Ooh, you shouldn't say that
on television,"
1172
00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:37,010
or, "You shouldn't do this," or,
"You shouldn't look like that.
1173
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:38,536
"People won't like you."
1174
00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:41,539
But, you know, some people
will like you, some won't.
1175
00:50:41,621 --> 00:50:43,166
It's... You just be yourself.
1176
00:50:43,248 --> 00:50:45,585
You mean I shouldn't let people
know you're my grandpa
1177
00:50:45,668 --> 00:50:47,628
because you've been
upsetting them forever?
1178
00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:49,588
Uh...
1179
00:50:49,672 --> 00:50:52,215
Yeah, oh, well,
it's probably the safest thing
1180
00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:53,717
just not to mention me.
1181
00:50:55,552 --> 00:50:58,097
Listen, your mum said the new
school's a bit tough for you.
1182
00:50:58,181 --> 00:50:59,891
Yeah.
1183
00:50:59,974 --> 00:51:02,559
Oh, well, look, it's not easy
when you go to a new school,
1184
00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:03,769
but you'll be fine.
1185
00:51:03,853 --> 00:51:04,771
Yeah.
1186
00:51:04,853 --> 00:51:05,980
Listen.
1187
00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,940
I'm sorry if any of the stuff
1188
00:51:08,023 --> 00:51:09,858
that's been reported about me
1189
00:51:09,942 --> 00:51:12,320
makes it, uh...
a bit hard for you,
1190
00:51:12,402 --> 00:51:14,489
but, you know,
just don't worry about it.
1191
00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:15,989
You know, they make stuff up.
1192
00:51:16,072 --> 00:51:18,492
That's not what Mum says!
1193
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:22,371
Oh, well... uh, Mum gets
confused sometimes.
1194
00:51:22,454 --> 00:51:24,831
But don't worry, Grandpa.
You're getting a knighthood.
1195
00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:27,835
That'll make up for all of it.
No-one can take that away.
1196
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:29,711
Oh, I hope not.
1197
00:51:29,795 --> 00:51:31,838
Oh, I drew this.
1198
00:51:34,007 --> 00:51:35,967
Ooh, did you do that?
1199
00:51:36,052 --> 00:51:39,304
Oh, you're really talented
for a 19-year-old kid.
1200
00:51:39,387 --> 00:51:41,556
I'm not 19, I'm 9!
1201
00:51:41,641 --> 00:51:43,726
Oh, you can't be 9!
You're too smart.
1202
00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:46,019
Thanks. But I just wanted
to show you that.
1203
00:51:47,313 --> 00:51:49,106
I'd better go. The Wizard
awaits.
1204
00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:52,318
Oh. Yeah. Uh, how's that going?
How's that working out?
1205
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,987
Pretty good. I can't wait
for you to watch me sometime.
1206
00:51:56,072 --> 00:51:57,239
Oh, I'd love to see it.
1207
00:51:58,324 --> 00:51:59,324
Bye, Pa.
1208
00:51:59,407 --> 00:52:00,534
Yeah.
1209
00:52:00,617 --> 00:52:02,954
Bye, sweetie.
1210
00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:38,322
Hey! I can see your foot
sticking out.
1211
00:52:41,242 --> 00:52:43,452
Come on, what are we doing?
Playing hide-and-seek?
1212
00:52:43,536 --> 00:52:45,204
No, we're not.
1213
00:52:51,878 --> 00:52:53,920
So, what are you doing
here, mate?
1214
00:52:54,005 --> 00:52:56,798
Well... I couldn't find Melrose.
1215
00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:00,969
All right, let's get it over
with.
1216
00:53:01,052 --> 00:53:03,264
How much will you get
for a photo of me?
1217
00:53:03,347 --> 00:53:05,224
Oh. Like, a hundred bucks.
1218
00:53:06,559 --> 00:53:07,684
100 bucks?
1219
00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:09,561
Yeah. I mean, that's if I'm
lucky.
1220
00:53:09,644 --> 00:53:12,231
Oh. What about if I took my
shirt off
1221
00:53:12,315 --> 00:53:13,690
and I'm all sweaty, you know,
1222
00:53:13,773 --> 00:53:15,483
coming out of the gym
all pumped up and...
1223
00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:19,280
Ugh. No. Uh... 60, maybe?
1224
00:53:19,362 --> 00:53:20,447
Sixty?!
1225
00:53:20,530 --> 00:53:21,530
Mm-hm.
1226
00:53:24,534 --> 00:53:26,661
Okay. Um...
1227
00:53:26,746 --> 00:53:29,331
What about a photo of me
with Kim Kardashian?
1228
00:53:29,414 --> 00:53:32,208
Now we're talking!
That would be amazing.
1229
00:53:32,293 --> 00:53:35,128
I could get, like, 30 grand.
Maybe even more.
1230
00:53:35,211 --> 00:53:37,672
Well, I mean, that's just for
a photo of Kim, though.
1231
00:53:37,757 --> 00:53:38,840
Are you in it too?
1232
00:53:38,925 --> 00:53:39,925
Yeah.
1233
00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:43,219
Then it's, like, $120. Or less.
1234
00:53:43,304 --> 00:53:44,722
Oh!
1235
00:53:44,804 --> 00:53:46,724
Oh, don't worry.
I can crop you out of it.
1236
00:53:46,806 --> 00:53:48,893
I got an idea, Paul.
1237
00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:52,103
What if I, like, got photos of
you and, like, a new girlfriend?
1238
00:53:52,188 --> 00:53:53,813
No.
1239
00:53:53,898 --> 00:53:56,650
No, it could be good. It doesn't
have to be a girlfriend.
1240
00:53:56,733 --> 00:53:58,360
Maybe, like... a lover.
1241
00:53:59,612 --> 00:54:00,612
Forget about it.
1242
00:54:00,695 --> 00:54:01,905
We could set that up.
1243
00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:04,824
You know, I just met
a waitress at Denny's
1244
00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:07,161
and she was really into
Australians.
1245
00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:09,829
I was like, "Oh, I know
an Australian!"
1246
00:54:09,914 --> 00:54:11,623
All right, listen.
1247
00:54:11,706 --> 00:54:13,166
You don't have a car, do you?
1248
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,126
Yeah, I... No, I don't.
1249
00:54:15,210 --> 00:54:16,628
Mmm. Okay.
1250
00:54:16,711 --> 00:54:17,755
Why?
1251
00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:19,840
Uh... No, I'd better not.
1252
00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:21,217
No, I promised my manager
1253
00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:22,969
I wouldn't get into
any more trouble.
1254
00:54:23,052 --> 00:54:25,804
Oh, oh, oh! Do the opposite!
1255
00:54:25,887 --> 00:54:28,932
Do whatever you said you
wouldn't do to your manager!
1256
00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:30,643
Do the opposite of that.
1257
00:54:30,726 --> 00:54:33,269
Let's do it! We'll do it
together! Paul, please!
1258
00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:35,438
Please! Please!
1259
00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:36,523
Oh...
1260
00:54:37,775 --> 00:54:39,860
So, where are we going?
1261
00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:41,820
We need to find stars.
1262
00:54:41,903 --> 00:54:44,072
Yeah, you know, like George
Clooney, Julia Roberts...
1263
00:54:44,155 --> 00:54:45,657
Kim Kardashian.
1264
00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:50,371
I, uh... I used to know
where Cary Grant lived.
1265
00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:52,373
Yeah, but, uh,
I think it's better
1266
00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:55,208
if we stick to celebrities
that are still alive.
1267
00:54:55,291 --> 00:54:57,085
Okay. Betty White?
1268
00:54:57,168 --> 00:55:00,338
Oh... I mean, she's good.
It's just...
1269
00:55:00,422 --> 00:55:01,423
What night is it?
1270
00:55:01,507 --> 00:55:02,757
Uh, Wednesday, I think.
1271
00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:04,552
Oh. Well, I know where they are.
1272
00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:05,802
Yeah?
1273
00:55:09,014 --> 00:55:10,349
Oh.
1274
00:55:12,393 --> 00:55:13,768
Crap!
1275
00:55:13,853 --> 00:55:17,148
Oh. Well, don't panic.
It's just the police.
1276
00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:19,525
Yeah, but they've got big guns.
1277
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:23,070
Yeah, but if you don't do
anything stupid, they're fine.
1278
00:55:33,621 --> 00:55:35,206
What are you doing?
1279
00:55:35,291 --> 00:55:38,710
Just, uh... I'm just waiting
for them to...
1280
00:55:39,628 --> 00:55:40,920
get, uh...
1281
00:55:41,838 --> 00:55:43,048
out of the car.
1282
00:55:50,222 --> 00:55:51,222
Right!
1283
00:56:13,913 --> 00:56:17,500
Oh, I forgot. Do you guys want
mints or water or anything?
1284
00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:19,418
Uh... no, fine for now, John.
1285
00:56:19,501 --> 00:56:21,378
What?! No!
1286
00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:32,222
Listen, you gotta... you gotta
pull over, talk to them!
1287
00:56:32,306 --> 00:56:35,601
Uh, no, no. I can't. I don't
have my driver's license.
1288
00:56:35,684 --> 00:56:37,644
Well, then just tell them
you left it at home!
1289
00:56:37,728 --> 00:56:41,023
No, I don't have
a driving license.
1290
00:56:41,106 --> 00:56:44,025
Come to think of it, I don't
even know whose car this is.
1291
00:56:44,110 --> 00:56:46,653
What?! Come on!
1292
00:56:53,284 --> 00:56:54,327
John!
1293
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,538
Get your camera out.
1294
00:56:55,621 --> 00:56:57,289
Why, so I can photograph
my own death?!
1295
00:56:57,373 --> 00:56:59,500
No, 'cause
just round this corner,
1296
00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:02,210
there's gonna be
a mother lode of celebrities.
1297
00:57:02,293 --> 00:57:06,005
Oh! Let's tap it. Let's tap!
1298
00:57:19,144 --> 00:57:21,438
Stephanie. Tell us
about your latest role.
1299
00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:24,150
She's a hard-nosed FBI agent
1300
00:57:24,233 --> 00:57:26,485
that needs
a lot of people killed.
1301
00:57:26,568 --> 00:57:28,487
Oh. How fun.
1302
00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:29,989
Yes.
1303
00:57:30,072 --> 00:57:31,072
Yeah.
1304
00:57:38,873 --> 00:57:40,583
No, no, no, no, no, no...!
1305
00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:44,003
Arggh! No!
1306
00:57:47,380 --> 00:57:51,342
Uh, there seems to be some kind
of disturbance happening.
1307
00:57:51,427 --> 00:57:53,344
Oh, this chase is getting
out of control.
1308
00:57:53,429 --> 00:57:56,599
Police are advising drivers
to avoid San Vicente Boulevard.
1309
00:57:56,681 --> 00:58:00,643
I never get tired
of searchlights.
1310
00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:04,190
Right, Luke, stay alert.
Kim Kardashian, two o'clock.
1311
00:58:04,273 --> 00:58:05,690
Can you slow down a bit?
1312
00:58:07,150 --> 00:58:08,818
I'm afraid
that won't be possible.
1313
00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:10,987
Oh, look. Brad Pitt.
1314
00:58:11,070 --> 00:58:12,114
Hey!
1315
00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:14,324
Did you get him?
1316
00:58:14,407 --> 00:58:15,326
No.
1317
00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:16,327
I nearly did.
1318
00:58:16,409 --> 00:58:17,452
Yeah, we noticed.
1319
00:58:26,045 --> 00:58:26,961
Uh-oh.
1320
00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:27,963
What was that?
1321
00:58:28,047 --> 00:58:29,715
I think it was Harvey Weinstein.
1322
00:58:29,797 --> 00:58:31,550
Mmm. Good.
1323
00:58:33,219 --> 00:58:34,344
Shit!
1324
00:58:46,773 --> 00:58:48,525
And whilst I can't
make out who's driving,
1325
00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,987
that is certainly Paul Hogan
in the passenger seat.
1326
00:58:52,070 --> 00:58:53,947
Well, drivers are now
in a panic.
1327
00:58:54,030 --> 00:58:56,324
The chase has moved
to the other side of the road.
1328
00:59:33,278 --> 00:59:35,489
Thanks, guys!
Don't forget to rate me.
1329
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:36,782
Five stars.
1330
00:59:40,202 --> 00:59:41,536
Hey, where's he going?!
1331
00:59:41,619 --> 00:59:43,204
Quick. Inside.
1332
00:59:43,289 --> 00:59:45,057
Hey, do you really think
that was Kim Kardashian?!
1333
00:59:45,081 --> 00:59:46,333
Just get inside the...!
1334
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:47,835
Oh! Your place is gorgeous!
1335
00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:48,835
Come here!
1336
00:59:48,918 --> 00:59:49,836
You've got three garages?!
1337
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:51,213
You've got three cars?
1338
00:59:51,297 --> 00:59:52,338
Or is it just storage?
1339
00:59:52,422 --> 00:59:53,465
Oh, a tennis court!
1340
00:59:54,675 --> 00:59:56,092
That's awesome!
1341
00:59:56,175 --> 00:59:57,427
I played tennis in high school.
1342
00:59:57,510 --> 00:59:59,012
I'm actually pretty good
for my size.
1343
00:59:59,096 --> 01:00:01,139
Oh, look at the size
of these doors!
1344
01:00:01,222 --> 01:00:02,224
Get in, get in!
1345
01:00:03,516 --> 01:00:06,061
Whoa! Look at this place!
1346
01:00:06,144 --> 01:00:09,231
You've got chairs.
A coffee table.
1347
01:00:09,315 --> 01:00:12,108
A huge dining table.
You've got, like, eight pillows.
1348
01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:13,818
Look at that.
1349
01:00:13,902 --> 01:00:15,612
What's that wind?
1350
01:00:15,695 --> 01:00:17,947
Oh, you've got a pool!
You've got a TV!
1351
01:00:19,365 --> 01:00:20,909
The speed of the chase.
1352
01:00:20,992 --> 01:00:23,119
It was disgusting,
for heck's sake!
1353
01:00:23,202 --> 01:00:24,996
Oh, man!
1354
01:00:25,079 --> 01:00:28,291
Police are advising drivers
to avoid San Vicente Boulevard.
1355
01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:30,878
The car has now been abandoned
in a residential area.
1356
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:33,838
LA people are so nuts!
1357
01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:41,847
Paul, get in here!
You gotta check out the news!
1358
01:00:41,929 --> 01:00:43,264
Is that...
1359
01:00:43,349 --> 01:00:45,184
Yes, sadly, I believe
1360
01:00:45,266 --> 01:00:47,686
that is disgraced movie star
Paul Hogan.
1361
01:00:47,769 --> 01:00:50,938
In what can only be described
as a desperate cry for help,
1362
01:00:51,023 --> 01:00:52,983
it would appear the fallen icon
1363
01:00:53,067 --> 01:00:56,487
is now desperately trying
to relive his glory days.
1364
01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:57,945
Paul!
1365
01:00:59,322 --> 01:01:00,449
Paul! Whoa!
1366
01:01:00,532 --> 01:01:02,409
This may be the saddest thing
1367
01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:05,661
this jaded old journalist
has ever seen.
1368
01:01:05,746 --> 01:01:08,289
Paul! Paul!
1369
01:01:08,373 --> 01:01:10,833
Paul, you're on the news! Look!
1370
01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,503
It appears a lady has run
from the house,
1371
01:01:13,586 --> 01:01:16,047
trying to plead with
the troubled Hogan.
1372
01:01:16,130 --> 01:01:17,800
Uh...
1373
01:01:22,137 --> 01:01:25,099
The lady is down.
The lady is down.
1374
01:01:43,699 --> 01:01:45,619
You got a light, buddy?
1375
01:01:46,702 --> 01:01:49,123
Yeah, sure, kid. There you go.
1376
01:01:50,164 --> 01:01:51,375
And your wallet.
1377
01:01:52,708 --> 01:01:55,128
Mickey, give him your wallet.
1378
01:01:55,211 --> 01:01:56,380
What for?
1379
01:01:56,463 --> 01:01:58,090
He's got a knife!
1380
01:02:09,934 --> 01:02:12,896
D You wave that shiny
little thing in my face
1381
01:02:12,980 --> 01:02:15,815
d But, kid, your piece of
cutlery's a bloody disgrace
1382
01:02:15,898 --> 01:02:19,235
d You look at me as if
I should now run for my life
1383
01:02:19,318 --> 01:02:22,030
d But that's not a knife
1384
01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:25,367
d You think your little toy
is gonna fill me with dread
1385
01:02:25,451 --> 01:02:28,494
d But you should take that home
and file your toenails instead
1386
01:02:28,579 --> 01:02:31,956
d You're embarrassing yourself
in front of my future wife
1387
01:02:32,039 --> 01:02:34,960
d 'Cause that's not a knife
1388
01:02:35,043 --> 01:02:38,213
d You should turn away
from your life of crime
1389
01:02:38,297 --> 01:02:41,592
d Do something more worthwhile
with your time
1390
01:02:41,675 --> 01:02:44,677
d Buddy, why you lookin'
so deflated?
1391
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:49,682
D Maybe 'cause your implement
is not serrated
1392
01:02:51,559 --> 01:02:54,103
d I can see you're not
the sharpest tool in the shed
1393
01:02:54,188 --> 01:02:57,440
d But I wouldn't use that
little thing to butter my bread
1394
01:02:57,523 --> 01:03:00,485
d Kid, if I were you,
I'd bloody run for my life
1395
01:03:00,568 --> 01:03:02,153
d 'Cause that's not a knife
1396
01:03:02,237 --> 01:03:03,362
d That's not a knife
1397
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:05,239
d No, that's not a knife
1398
01:03:05,324 --> 01:03:06,782
d That's not a knife
1399
01:03:06,867 --> 01:03:09,119
d No, that's not a knife
1400
01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:11,288
d That's a knife
1401
01:03:11,371 --> 01:03:12,371
d Oh!
1402
01:03:12,414 --> 01:03:14,541
D Yes, that is a knife
1403
01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:17,503
d That is definitely a knife
1404
01:03:17,585 --> 01:03:21,130
d Remarkable sharpness
and purity
1405
01:03:21,215 --> 01:03:24,134
d How'd he get that
through airport security?
1406
01:03:24,217 --> 01:03:27,679
D I should be feeling
fear and loathing
1407
01:03:27,762 --> 01:03:34,061
d Scariest thing about you
is your choice of clothing
1408
01:03:34,143 --> 01:03:37,105
d Buddy, here's a little piece
of friendly advice
1409
01:03:37,188 --> 01:03:40,358
d Threatening people
on the street is not very nice
1410
01:03:40,442 --> 01:03:43,277
d So go sit somewhere quietly
and keep out of strife
1411
01:03:43,362 --> 01:03:46,489
d Then you won't need a knife
1412
01:03:46,572 --> 01:03:49,409
d 'Cause that's not a knife
1413
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:52,788
d Yeah, that's not a knife
1414
01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:54,706
d That's the knife
1415
01:03:56,500 --> 01:03:59,253
d So, keep sharpened up... d
1416
01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:07,385
Hey, Hogan. You made bail.
1417
01:04:15,226 --> 01:04:16,686
Well, look, in my defense,
1418
01:04:16,769 --> 01:04:19,063
I had no idea we'd be trying
to escape from the cops
1419
01:04:19,146 --> 01:04:23,025
in a... televised
high-speed pursuit...
1420
01:04:23,110 --> 01:04:26,862
with an unlicensed John
Cleese driving a stolen car.
1421
01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:33,744
It is certainly
1422
01:04:33,829 --> 01:04:35,121
the story that won't go away
1423
01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:37,081
as disgraced racist nun-basher
1424
01:04:37,164 --> 01:04:39,710
and former Australian legend
Paul Hogan
1425
01:04:39,793 --> 01:04:42,170
implodes before our very eyes.
1426
01:04:42,253 --> 01:04:44,715
Margot Robbie and Paul Hogan
becoming friends
1427
01:04:44,797 --> 01:04:47,675
while shooting that
Australian tourism commercial.
1428
01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:49,802
We have Margot in our LA studio.
1429
01:04:49,885 --> 01:04:51,972
Margot, I want to start
by asking,
1430
01:04:52,054 --> 01:04:54,849
have you reached out to your
troubled friend at all?
1431
01:04:56,726 --> 01:04:57,643
Margot!
1432
01:04:57,728 --> 01:04:58,728
Margot?
1433
01:05:01,731 --> 01:05:05,527
Margot Robbie in... in LA,
can you hear me?
1434
01:05:05,610 --> 01:05:07,112
She's, uh, gone, chief.
1435
01:05:07,195 --> 01:05:08,195
Margot?
1436
01:05:09,155 --> 01:05:10,865
Margot!
1437
01:05:10,949 --> 01:05:13,952
With Hogan quickly
becoming a global punchline...
1438
01:05:14,036 --> 01:05:15,786
Australia, the Flipper...
1439
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:19,601
and I can't believe
he hasn't been #MeToo'd yet.
1440
01:05:19,625 --> 01:05:22,085
When will his reign
of madness end?
1441
01:05:22,168 --> 01:05:24,630
And your old mate Paul Hogan...
What's going on there?
1442
01:05:24,713 --> 01:05:26,088
Does he need professional help?
1443
01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:27,650
I don't know.
There's not a great deal...
1444
01:05:27,673 --> 01:05:29,259
It doesn't bear
too much analysis.
1445
01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:31,052
I mean, this is
pretty silly stuff.
1446
01:05:31,135 --> 01:05:33,137
Yeah, fair, pretty silly,
but I've got to admit,
1447
01:05:33,221 --> 01:05:35,264
I'm actually surprised
by how funny he is.
1448
01:05:35,349 --> 01:05:37,184
And he's kind of
off the wall too.
1449
01:05:37,266 --> 01:05:40,103
I mean, there's recesses
in this guy's brain
1450
01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,021
that are kind of pretty wild.
1451
01:05:42,105 --> 01:05:43,606
I've got a joke for you, right?
1452
01:05:43,690 --> 01:05:45,335
What do you call the fastest
Australian in the world?
1453
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:46,275
Paul!
1454
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:47,277
The fastest what?
1455
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:48,653
Australian.
1456
01:05:49,905 --> 01:05:51,405
Paul Ho-GUN!
1457
01:05:51,489 --> 01:05:53,032
Oh, wait. I've got one.
1458
01:05:53,115 --> 01:05:55,369
What does Paul say when
he'd like the escort to leave?
1459
01:05:57,036 --> 01:05:58,664
Carol's here!
1460
01:05:58,746 --> 01:06:00,641
I don't know how she found me!
You haven't seen me!
1461
01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:02,793
Mate, your timing
couldn't be worse!
1462
01:06:04,043 --> 01:06:06,045
Just tell her
you haven't seen me.
1463
01:06:06,128 --> 01:06:08,130
I can't lie to Carol.
She's an angel.
1464
01:06:08,215 --> 01:06:12,219
No matter what she says,
you have no idea where I am!
1465
01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:13,427
Good luck!
1466
01:06:14,887 --> 01:06:15,806
Shit!
1467
01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:17,391
Please, God! Please!
1468
01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:18,934
Please! I beg you!
1469
01:06:19,016 --> 01:06:20,768
Oh, bloody hell!
1470
01:06:20,851 --> 01:06:23,480
Wait, I've got one. What do you
call Paul Hogan's latest movie?
1471
01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:24,563
I don't know.
1472
01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:25,690
Who cares?
1473
01:06:27,358 --> 01:06:28,275
Oh.
1474
01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:29,527
Oh. Oh, hi, Carol.
1475
01:06:29,610 --> 01:06:32,030
Hi, Paul. Uh, these are for you.
1476
01:06:32,114 --> 01:06:33,614
Oh, thank you.
1477
01:06:33,699 --> 01:06:35,510
Well, I thought it was
the least that I could do
1478
01:06:35,534 --> 01:06:38,119
with you having to put up with
him and all that noise.
1479
01:06:38,202 --> 01:06:40,496
Ah. Um, put up with what?
1480
01:06:40,579 --> 01:06:41,831
What?
1481
01:06:41,914 --> 01:06:42,914
With Wayne.
1482
01:06:44,041 --> 01:06:45,126
Wayne?
1483
01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:46,795
Where is he, Paul?
1484
01:06:46,878 --> 01:06:48,338
Uh, who?
1485
01:06:48,422 --> 01:06:49,505
Wayne.
1486
01:06:49,588 --> 01:06:50,632
Wayne?
1487
01:06:50,715 --> 01:06:51,715
Mmm.
1488
01:06:51,757 --> 01:06:53,927
Oh. Uh, uh... haven't seen him.
1489
01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:56,179
Really? Oh.
1490
01:06:57,431 --> 01:06:58,347
Yeah.
1491
01:06:58,431 --> 01:06:59,431
I...
1492
01:07:01,768 --> 01:07:04,896
Paul, I'm gonna need you
to be honest with me.
1493
01:07:04,980 --> 01:07:07,190
Oh, of course. Yeah.
1494
01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:08,650
Have you seen my husband?
1495
01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:12,153
Wayne? Uh...
1496
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:14,864
n-no. Uh...
1497
01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:19,577
Okay.
1498
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:22,121
Um... I'm sorry.
1499
01:07:22,204 --> 01:07:24,583
Oh, no, that's okay.
Knowing Wayne, he's probably...
1500
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:26,793
Sorry, sweetheart.
1501
01:07:26,876 --> 01:07:28,878
New-show jitters.
You know how I am.
1502
01:07:28,961 --> 01:07:30,463
Ah. Why, you lying little...
1503
01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:31,882
Oh, no, hey, but he told me...
1504
01:07:31,965 --> 01:07:33,605
Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy.
Don't look at me.
1505
01:07:33,632 --> 01:07:35,318
No, you gave it away
the minute you opened the door.
1506
01:07:35,342 --> 01:07:36,677
You looked so guilty.
1507
01:07:36,762 --> 01:07:38,764
I am very disappointed with you.
1508
01:07:38,847 --> 01:07:40,639
That makes two of us.
1509
01:07:40,724 --> 01:07:42,851
Yeah, I read the press.
I was gonna leave anyway.
1510
01:07:42,934 --> 01:07:44,853
Oh, and I'd give that robe
a wash.
1511
01:07:44,936 --> 01:07:48,565
Yes. Oh, b-b-b-b... mwah!
1512
01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:50,900
Bye.
1513
01:07:50,983 --> 01:07:51,983
Uh...
1514
01:07:56,114 --> 01:07:58,532
One thing that is safe to say
1515
01:07:58,617 --> 01:08:01,494
is the once loved Mr. Dundee
1516
01:08:01,577 --> 01:08:04,914
doesn't have a friend left
in the world.
1517
01:08:11,922 --> 01:08:13,965
Got a letter from the palace.
1518
01:08:14,048 --> 01:08:15,592
Oh.
1519
01:08:15,675 --> 01:08:19,179
Well... I guess we both know
what this says.
1520
01:08:19,261 --> 01:08:21,472
Yeah. I think so.
1521
01:08:21,555 --> 01:08:24,768
Oh. Dunno how
I'm gonna tell Lucy, though.
1522
01:08:24,850 --> 01:08:29,021
Yeah. Well, people are
just sort of... so angry at me.
1523
01:08:29,104 --> 01:08:31,399
I don't know what
I'm gonna tell my mom.
1524
01:08:33,109 --> 01:08:35,862
I wish my dad was here.
He'd know what to do.
1525
01:08:35,945 --> 01:08:37,863
Hey. You did a great job.
1526
01:08:37,948 --> 01:08:40,908
You were just, uh...
trying to manage a boofhead.
1527
01:08:43,244 --> 01:08:46,122
Well, I was managing a boofhead.
1528
01:08:47,457 --> 01:08:48,707
Yeah.
1529
01:08:48,792 --> 01:08:49,917
Gonna be okay?
1530
01:08:50,001 --> 01:08:51,627
Yeah.
1531
01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:53,838
You know...
1532
01:08:53,921 --> 01:08:56,800
I've always wanted
to make something for kids.
1533
01:08:56,882 --> 01:08:58,301
You should.
1534
01:08:58,385 --> 01:09:01,887
Yeah. I'll find something.
1535
01:09:04,932 --> 01:09:07,560
I wasn't really much of
a manager anyway.
1536
01:09:38,425 --> 01:09:39,509
Nope.
1537
01:10:47,202 --> 01:10:48,744
Hello, Paul.
1538
01:10:48,828 --> 01:10:49,746
Oh.
1539
01:10:49,828 --> 01:10:50,829
I'm Ella.
1540
01:10:50,913 --> 01:10:52,373
Oh. I'm Paul.
1541
01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:54,000
Hello.
1542
01:10:54,083 --> 01:10:55,001
Hello, Ella.
1543
01:10:55,085 --> 01:10:56,002
Hi.
1544
01:10:56,086 --> 01:10:57,002
Oh, goodness.
1545
01:10:57,087 --> 01:10:58,880
So, the others aren't here yet?
1546
01:10:58,963 --> 01:10:59,963
Uh, no.
1547
01:11:01,006 --> 01:11:02,967
Ooh. Sorry. Gosh.
1548
01:11:03,051 --> 01:11:05,220
That's me. How rude.
1549
01:11:05,302 --> 01:11:06,220
Sorry!
1550
01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:07,304
No, it's fine.
1551
01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:08,640
Oh, it's Livvy.
1552
01:11:08,722 --> 01:11:10,809
Um... Oh.
1553
01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:14,479
"Running late. Be there soon."
1554
01:11:17,481 --> 01:11:18,481
Uh-huh.
1555
01:11:18,524 --> 01:11:19,984
Right.
1556
01:11:25,532 --> 01:11:27,908
Do you get the feeling
this is a set-up?
1557
01:11:27,993 --> 01:11:29,703
I'm starting to, yes.
1558
01:11:31,328 --> 01:11:34,207
Oh, dear. Ahem.
1559
01:11:34,289 --> 01:11:35,667
Oh, Livvy. I'll kill her.
1560
01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:38,043
Oh, I love your dress.
1561
01:11:38,127 --> 01:11:39,962
Uh... it's a top.
1562
01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:42,047
But thank you.
1563
01:11:42,131 --> 01:11:43,507
Of course it's a top.
1564
01:11:43,591 --> 01:11:45,176
Oh, my goodness.
1565
01:11:45,260 --> 01:11:47,804
These things are always
awkward, aren't they?
1566
01:11:47,886 --> 01:11:49,346
What?
1567
01:11:49,430 --> 01:11:50,681
Dates.
1568
01:11:50,765 --> 01:11:52,641
Actually, I wouldn't know.
1569
01:11:52,725 --> 01:11:55,185
I haven't been on a date
since man walked on the moon.
1570
01:11:56,770 --> 01:11:58,273
Half a century ago.
1571
01:11:58,355 --> 01:11:59,815
Goodness.
1572
01:11:59,899 --> 01:12:01,918
If you took you another
half-century to go on a date,
1573
01:12:01,943 --> 01:12:02,962
it must have been a bad one.
1574
01:12:02,985 --> 01:12:05,070
It was pretty bad, actually.
1575
01:12:07,489 --> 01:12:08,949
Well, anyway...
1576
01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:11,077
I'm... I'm glad you're here.
1577
01:12:11,161 --> 01:12:13,328
I'm glad too.
1578
01:12:15,414 --> 01:12:17,583
Oh, my goodness!
1579
01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:19,502
I think that's Chevy Chase.
1580
01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:21,128
Just slid right off the table.
1581
01:12:21,212 --> 01:12:22,421
Course it's him.
1582
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:24,591
He's pretty good.
He won an Academy Award.
1583
01:12:24,673 --> 01:12:25,966
Oh, really? Oh.
1584
01:12:26,051 --> 01:12:27,426
You need to have these fixed.
1585
01:12:27,510 --> 01:12:28,845
I didn't know that.
1586
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,346
Good evening.
1587
01:12:31,430 --> 01:12:33,367
Could I interest you in
our wine list this evening?
1588
01:12:33,390 --> 01:12:34,725
Oh, y-yes, please.
1589
01:12:34,809 --> 01:12:36,310
Certainly, sir.
1590
01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:37,645
Thank you.
1591
01:12:41,106 --> 01:12:45,653
Um... is it okay if I make
a tiny little confession?
1592
01:12:45,737 --> 01:12:47,238
Yeah.
1593
01:12:47,322 --> 01:12:53,286
I... may not be an innocent
bystander in all of this.
1594
01:12:53,368 --> 01:12:56,581
I might... have had
a conversation
1595
01:12:56,663 --> 01:12:58,291
with Olivia beforehand.
1596
01:12:58,373 --> 01:13:02,462
Oh. Yeah, I'll be having
a little chat to Olivia.
1597
01:13:10,845 --> 01:13:13,097
He's got my keys!
1598
01:13:13,180 --> 01:13:14,807
Stop him! Somebody stop him!
1599
01:13:14,890 --> 01:13:15,809
Oh.
1600
01:13:15,891 --> 01:13:17,143
A-are you okay?
1601
01:13:17,226 --> 01:13:18,645
Yeah. Uh, back in a sec.
1602
01:13:25,859 --> 01:13:27,444
Over there!
1603
01:13:27,529 --> 01:13:30,114
Stop him! Somebody stop him!
It's the Phantom Valet!
1604
01:13:30,198 --> 01:13:32,367
I know it is! Somebody stop him!
1605
01:14:28,046 --> 01:14:29,340
I've still got it.
1606
01:14:29,423 --> 01:14:31,050
Not bad!
1607
01:14:33,552 --> 01:14:34,970
Like a scene
from the movie itself,
1608
01:14:35,054 --> 01:14:37,347
much loved Aussie star
Paul Hogan is back
1609
01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:40,435
and reminding us of
what he is truly made of.
1610
01:14:40,518 --> 01:14:42,979
However, the same cannot be
said for another comedy icon:
1611
01:14:43,061 --> 01:14:45,398
Chevy Chase,
whose downfall has begun
1612
01:14:45,480 --> 01:14:47,734
as he was dragged
from an LA eatery
1613
01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:49,277
for displacing condiments.
1614
01:14:49,359 --> 01:14:51,820
The troubled star was heard
to be screaming:
1615
01:14:51,904 --> 01:14:53,530
"But I won an Oscar!"
1616
01:14:54,448 --> 01:14:56,326
Wait. He won an Oscar?
1617
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:06,043
D We cut through glaciers
And coastline by the afternoon
1618
01:15:09,005 --> 01:15:11,548
d Rivers cut through The gorge d
1619
01:15:11,632 --> 01:15:14,176
d And the water's clean
And the water's smooth d
1620
01:15:17,387 --> 01:15:21,225
d See, I've been trying
To move along, move along d
1621
01:15:21,309 --> 01:15:25,104
d Concepting to keeping strong
For far too long d
1622
01:15:25,188 --> 01:15:28,358
d When all I had to do
Was rest my head... d
1623
01:15:29,775 --> 01:15:31,152
Your photos are amazing!
1624
01:15:31,235 --> 01:15:32,235
Oh. Yeah.
1625
01:15:33,070 --> 01:15:34,154
Thank you so much.
1626
01:15:34,238 --> 01:15:35,238
Uh-huh.
1627
01:15:41,703 --> 01:15:45,123
I can't believe
you've pulled this together.
1628
01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:47,460
To be honest...
1629
01:15:47,542 --> 01:15:50,505
I always thought
you wouldn't amount to much.
1630
01:15:51,588 --> 01:15:53,048
Thank you...
1631
01:15:53,131 --> 01:15:54,884
Mom.
1632
01:15:57,845 --> 01:16:02,140
D Oh-ho, that's in gold d
1633
01:16:04,726 --> 01:16:06,813
How'd he get the idea?
1634
01:16:06,895 --> 01:16:10,524
He is a genius.
1635
01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:14,862
D And it doesn't
Feel right anymore d
1636
01:16:18,157 --> 01:16:19,324
Hello?
1637
01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:21,452
Hey! How's it going back there?
1638
01:16:21,536 --> 01:16:22,744
Ah. All set.
1639
01:16:22,828 --> 01:16:24,788
It's pretty amazing
out here too.
1640
01:16:24,872 --> 01:16:27,792
I've never seen so much
privilege in one place.
1641
01:16:27,875 --> 01:16:30,211
Well, I hope your mum
fits right in.
1642
01:16:30,295 --> 01:16:31,671
She does.
1643
01:16:31,753 --> 01:16:34,172
Can you believe
they changed their minds?
1644
01:16:34,256 --> 01:16:36,717
Yeah.
1645
01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:38,677
Oh. Um, I'd better let you go.
1646
01:16:44,225 --> 01:16:45,643
Nah.
1647
01:16:45,726 --> 01:16:49,771
It is with tremendous
excitement and gratitude
1648
01:16:49,855 --> 01:16:51,940
that today we honor
Mr. Paul Hogan,
1649
01:16:52,024 --> 01:16:55,235
the star of Her Majesty's
favorite movie,
1650
01:16:55,319 --> 01:16:57,779
Crocodile Dundee III.
1651
01:16:57,863 --> 01:17:01,199
Unfortunately, Mr. Hogan
couldn't be here today,
1652
01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:04,203
as he had somewhere
important to be.
1653
01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:32,023
D Oh-ho, it's in gold d
1654
01:17:34,067 --> 01:17:35,734
d See, I've been trying d
1655
01:17:35,818 --> 01:17:37,319
Thank you.
1656
01:17:40,530 --> 01:17:44,409
D And it doesn't
Feel right anymore d
1657
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:55,171
And Paul Hogan is
back in the news
1658
01:17:55,253 --> 01:17:58,716
after failing to turn up to an
appearance on The Tonight Show.
1659
01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:00,551
Grandpa!
1660
01:18:02,845 --> 01:18:05,222
D On our own d
1661
01:18:07,100 --> 01:18:11,104
d We don't have to do this
On our own d
1662
01:18:11,186 --> 01:18:12,854
You made it!
1663
01:18:12,939 --> 01:18:14,524
Oh, yeah.
Wouldn't want to miss this.
1664
01:18:14,606 --> 01:18:15,649
Is it true?
1665
01:18:15,733 --> 01:18:17,150
Yeah, I'm really here.
1666
01:18:20,320 --> 01:18:22,323
But what about Chase?
1667
01:18:22,407 --> 01:18:29,287
D See, I've been trying
To hold on to this all alone d
1668
01:18:42,926 --> 01:18:46,555
And accepting
on Mr. Hogan's behalf,
1669
01:18:46,639 --> 01:18:48,640
Miss Angie Douglas.
1670
01:18:57,399 --> 01:18:58,900
With the subject now,
1671
01:18:58,984 --> 01:19:01,570
heading eastward
towards the 405.
1672
01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:05,158
All officers, be warned,
it is John Cleese.
1673
01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:42,862
Hello!
1674
01:19:42,944 --> 01:19:44,488
Hi. Oh, you found the place.
1675
01:19:44,572 --> 01:19:45,655
Yeah. Great
directions.
1676
01:19:45,739 --> 01:19:46,739
Yeah.
1677
01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:47,949
Hello!
1678
01:19:48,033 --> 01:19:49,452
He's a little sweetie, isn't he?
1679
01:19:49,534 --> 01:19:51,828
Hello! Oh, my goodness! Hi!
1680
01:19:51,912 --> 01:19:52,913
Oh, wow!
1681
01:19:52,997 --> 01:19:54,081
Paddy!
1682
01:19:54,164 --> 01:19:57,376
Oh, my goodness!
Hello, gorgeous!
1683
01:19:57,460 --> 01:19:59,962
Hello, g...
Oh, they're gorgeous.
1684
01:20:00,046 --> 01:20:01,963
What's her name? Oh, my heavens!
1685
01:20:02,047 --> 01:20:03,047
Paddy.
1686
01:20:03,090 --> 01:20:04,007
Hello, Paddy!
1687
01:20:04,091 --> 01:20:05,009
Wow!
1688
01:20:05,091 --> 01:20:06,010
Yeah.
1689
01:20:06,092 --> 01:20:07,595
How lucky are we?
1690
01:20:07,677 --> 01:20:10,389
Oh, it's so gorgeous here.
1691
01:20:21,274 --> 01:20:22,944
Come and play, Grandpa!
1692
01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:25,779
Oh, later, sweetheart.
I gotta have my power nap.
1693
01:20:25,863 --> 01:20:27,113
Okay.
1694
01:20:27,198 --> 01:20:28,198
Okay.
1695
01:20:37,582 --> 01:20:39,167
Ah!
1696
01:20:51,930 --> 01:20:54,225
D Hello, my baby,
hello, my honey
1697
01:20:54,307 --> 01:20:56,435
d Hello, my ragtime gal
1698
01:20:56,519 --> 01:20:58,938
d Send me a kiss by wire
1699
01:20:59,020 --> 01:21:00,730
d Baby, my heart's on fire
1700
01:21:00,814 --> 01:21:02,567
d If you refuse me,
honey, you'll lose me
1701
01:21:02,649 --> 01:21:03,649
Oh, shit.
1702
01:21:03,693 --> 01:21:05,319
D Then you'll be left alone
1703
01:21:05,403 --> 01:21:09,990
d Oh, baby, telephone
and tell me I'm your own! d
1704
01:21:11,576 --> 01:21:13,536
d Got me feeling d
1705
01:21:13,618 --> 01:21:15,412
d Got me feeling good d
1706
01:21:17,539 --> 01:21:19,750
d All the rocky roads d
1707
01:21:19,833 --> 01:21:23,462
d Never felt so smooth d
1708
01:21:23,546 --> 01:21:26,923
d I will shake to left
And shake to the right d
1709
01:21:27,007 --> 01:21:29,510
d Shake it all day
Then I shake it all night d
1710
01:21:29,594 --> 01:21:31,470
d Got me feeling d
1711
01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:34,849
d Got me feeling good d
1712
01:21:34,931 --> 01:21:37,851
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1713
01:21:37,935 --> 01:21:40,770
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa d
1714
01:21:40,854 --> 01:21:43,899
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1715
01:21:43,983 --> 01:21:47,028
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa d
1716
01:21:47,110 --> 01:21:49,947
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1717
01:21:50,030 --> 01:21:52,908
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa d
1718
01:21:52,992 --> 01:21:56,037
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1719
01:21:56,119 --> 01:21:59,914
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1720
01:21:59,998 --> 01:22:02,042
d Got me feeling good
Got me feeling good d
1721
01:22:02,126 --> 01:22:03,793
d Got me feeling good, good d
1722
01:22:03,877 --> 01:22:05,253
d Got me feeling good, good d
1723
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:14,555
Now, that's a...
1724
01:22:14,639 --> 01:22:17,557
really dumb way to shave.
1725
01:22:17,641 --> 01:22:19,685
D Gotta cut off d
1726
01:22:19,769 --> 01:22:22,229
d All my troublesome blues d
1727
01:22:22,313 --> 01:22:23,648
d Hey d
1728
01:22:23,730 --> 01:22:25,690
d Got me feeling like d
1729
01:22:25,774 --> 01:22:27,652
d I got nothing to lose d
1730
01:22:27,734 --> 01:22:29,362
d Hoo-hoo d
1731
01:22:29,444 --> 01:22:32,614
d I will shake to left
And shake to the right d
1732
01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:35,659
d Shake it all day
Then I shake it all night d
1733
01:22:35,743 --> 01:22:37,787
d Got me feeling d
1734
01:22:37,869 --> 01:22:41,122
d Got me feeling good
Now, now, now d
1735
01:22:41,207 --> 01:22:44,042
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1736
01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:46,712
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa d
1737
01:22:46,796 --> 01:22:50,048
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1738
01:22:50,131 --> 01:22:53,094
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa d
1739
01:22:53,176 --> 01:22:56,180
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1740
01:22:56,262 --> 01:22:58,974
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa d
1741
01:22:59,057 --> 01:23:02,185
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1742
01:23:02,269 --> 01:23:05,439
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1743
01:23:05,523 --> 01:23:08,274
d You've got me feeling good
Got me feeling good d
1744
01:23:08,359 --> 01:23:11,612
d Got me feeling good, good
Got me feeling good, good d
1745
01:23:11,695 --> 01:23:14,364
d You've got me feeling good
Got me feeling good d
1746
01:23:14,448 --> 01:23:17,618
d Got me feeling good, good
Got me feeling good, good d
1747
01:23:17,702 --> 01:23:19,494
d Yeah, you've got me
Feeling good d
1748
01:23:19,578 --> 01:23:21,913
d Got me feeling good
Got me feeling good, good d
1749
01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:23,666
d Got me feeling good, good d
1750
01:23:23,748 --> 01:23:25,542
d Yeah, you've got me
Feeling good d
1751
01:23:25,626 --> 01:23:27,962
d Got me feeling good
Got me feeling good, good d
1752
01:23:28,045 --> 01:23:29,671
d Got me feeling good, good d
1753
01:23:29,755 --> 01:23:32,216
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1754
01:23:32,298 --> 01:23:34,969
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa d
1755
01:23:35,051 --> 01:23:38,139
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1756
01:23:38,221 --> 01:23:41,015
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa d
1757
01:23:41,100 --> 01:23:44,103
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1758
01:23:44,185 --> 01:23:46,771
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa d
1759
01:23:46,855 --> 01:23:50,192
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1760
01:23:50,275 --> 01:23:54,195
d You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da d
1761
01:26:31,395 --> 01:26:34,148
d You wave the shiny
Little thing in my face d
1762
01:26:34,230 --> 01:26:37,568
d But kid, your piece of
cutlery Is quite a disgrace d
1763
01:26:37,650 --> 01:26:40,820
d You look at me as if
I should now run for my life d
1764
01:26:40,904 --> 01:26:43,323
d But that's not a knife d
1765
01:26:43,407 --> 01:26:46,911
d You think your little toy
Is gonna fill me with dread d
1766
01:26:46,993 --> 01:26:50,079
d But you should take that home
File your toenails instead d
1767
01:26:50,163 --> 01:26:53,500
d You're embarrassing yourself
In front of my future wife d
1768
01:26:53,583 --> 01:26:56,337
d 'Cause that's not a knife d
1769
01:26:56,420 --> 01:26:59,797
d You should turn away
From your life of crime d
1770
01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:03,176
d Do something more worthwhile
With your time d
1771
01:27:03,260 --> 01:27:06,305
d Buddy, why you looking
So deflated?
1772
01:27:06,387 --> 01:27:12,353
D Maybe 'cause your implement
Is not serrated d
1773
01:27:12,435 --> 01:27:15,689
d I can see you're not
The sharpest tool in the shed d
1774
01:27:15,773 --> 01:27:17,649
d But I wouldn't use
That little thing d
1775
01:27:17,733 --> 01:27:19,609
d To butter my bread d
1776
01:27:19,693 --> 01:27:22,279
d Kid, if I were you
I'd bloody run for my life d
1777
01:27:22,363 --> 01:27:25,073
d 'Cause that's not a knife d
1778
01:27:25,157 --> 01:27:28,243
d No, that's not a knife d
1779
01:27:28,327 --> 01:27:31,372
d No, that's not a knife d
1780
01:27:31,454 --> 01:27:33,122
d That's a knife d
1781
01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,042
d Oh, yes, that is a knife d
1782
01:27:36,126 --> 01:27:38,921
d That is definitely a knife d
1783
01:27:39,003 --> 01:27:44,301
d That's a knife d
1784
01:27:44,385 --> 01:27:45,551
That's a knife.
1785
01:27:50,104 --> 01:27:55,104
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