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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:02,995 [theme music] 2 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,011 [indistinct chatter] 3 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,683 Hey! Look, everybody! 4 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:16,102 I got my letter of acceptance from Caltech! 5 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:17,601 [all cheering] 6 00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:19,772 I got my orientation packet, my class roster 7 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,981 my dorm assignment and a pocket protector 8 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,692 with a Caltech beaver on it! 9 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:24,692 [all cheering] 10 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,823 I mean, think of it. I'm a Beaver! 11 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:31,525 I mean, I-I-I'm so happy, I must be dreaming. 12 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,993 - 'Oh..' - Quick, somebody pinch me. 13 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,294 Ow! 14 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,834 - 'Oh!' - Oh-oh.. 15 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,463 The last time Dennis showed up to school with a tool box 16 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,210 Cheese Whiz came out of the girls' showers. 17 00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,503 Alright, so what's going on, Dennis? 18 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,836 - What's going on? - What is this? 19 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,171 Let's just say that the next time 20 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,585 Dr. Samuels reaches out to touch someone 21 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:54,054 he'll be using my Blunden. 22 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:55,635 - Oh! - 'Dennis..' 23 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,480 Dennis, one of these days all that bad karma you put out 24 00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,136 is gonna come right back to you. 25 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,265 Yeah, next time you take a shower in the girls' locker room 26 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,152 you better be wearing crackers, babe. 27 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,149 Whoo! 28 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,530 [bell ringing] 29 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,741 Good morning, geniuses! 30 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:13,319 - Good morning, Billy! - Good morning! 31 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,084 My new map, huh? 32 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:18,077 Look at that! 33 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:22,709 A brand-new Rand McNally 429. 34 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,709 Feast your eyes on this. 35 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:28,551 And about time, too. I mean, the last one had Atlantis on it. 36 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,378 The Red Sea was still part of them. 37 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,883 Just below Long Island here, it said 38 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,466 "Here be monsters." 39 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:39,472 And how wonderful to see little Scotland sitting there 40 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:43,266 like a precious jewel in a silvery sea. 41 00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:44,651 Now, what were we discussin'? 42 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,317 Washington's defeat at the Battle of Brooklyn Heights 43 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,317 I do believe. 44 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:53,609 Washington escaped with his men across the East River 45 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,865 into Manhattan. 46 00:01:55,907 --> 00:02:00,327 Surrounded by general's housemen, he then discovered 47 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,910 that the waiting list for tickets 48 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:06,075 to "Phantom Of The Opera" was at least 215 years. 49 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:10,166 So he switched to plan B and headed due north. 50 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,383 [dial tone] 51 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:12,722 What the hell was that? 52 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,587 B-Billy, it's coming from the speaker. 53 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,434 - From the intercom. - Hey, Dennis, is this it? 54 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,140 Why, Jasper, whatever are you talking about? 55 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,851 - 'Hello?' - 'Hello, dear.' 56 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,891 (Samuels on intercom) 'Ms. Meara said you called.' 57 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,015 - That's Dr. Samuels, isn't it? - Yeah. 58 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,942 I spliced his private phone line into the school intercom system. 59 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,232 Is that great or what? Wait, wait. Shh, shh, shh. 60 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:34,196 (woman on intercom) 'Harold, I was doing the laundry.' 61 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:37,907 'Did you buy a pair of lavender bikini briefs?' 62 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,529 [laughing] 63 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,196 Yeah, I just bought 'em because I thought 64 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,254 they'd turn you on, sugar bunny. 65 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,998 [laughing] 66 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,835 (woman on intercom) 'Stop it, honey bear.' 67 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,128 'What if someone heard you?' 68 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,091 (Samuels) 'Uh, don't be silly.' 69 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,301 'Uh, just a minute.' 70 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,380 'Yes, Ms. Meara?' 71 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,336 'You can hear what?' 72 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,925 [laughing] 73 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,224 Blunden! 74 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,726 [laughing] 75 00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,808 And I thought he'd have a sense of humor about this. 76 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,355 Dennis, I think your bad karma 77 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,148 is on its way over here right now. 78 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,612 Hey, and what goes around, comes around. 79 00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:17,702 Yup, and in your case, that's quite a trip. 80 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,449 Relax, guys, I'm a senior, in a couple of weeks 81 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:22,120 I'm gonna be out of here. What can he do to me? 82 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,080 Blunden, this time you've gone too far. 83 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:28,831 Now, don't be a grouchy, honey bear. 84 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,375 In a couple of months I'm gonna be at MIT and out of your hair. 85 00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:35,221 Oh, yeah? Well, don't be so sure. 86 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:36,546 I can withhold your final grades 87 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,221 and delay your getting into college! 88 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,259 Hey, hey, hey, I've been working to get into MIT 89 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,013 ever since I was a kid, you can't do that. 90 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,675 Yeah, well, you just watch. 91 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,933 I'll call the dean of admissions and tell them 92 00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:48,475 to withhold my lukewarm letter of recommendation. 93 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:49,689 I'll bury you so deep, son 94 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:52,229 that you-you'll have to repeat pre-school! 95 00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:54,233 Oh, well, actually, Dr. Samuels 96 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,355 it wasn't Dennis who pulled that dastardly deed. 97 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,533 - It wasn't? - No. 98 00:03:58,571 --> 00:03:59,951 I have it in very, very good authority 99 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:01,319 it was someone else. Is that right, class? 100 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,906 (all) Oh, yeah. 101 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,661 - Now, who, w-who was it? - Uh, who, uh, uh.. 102 00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:08,083 Ra-Randy McNally. 103 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:12,214 - Hm, Randy McNally? - That's him. 104 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,052 I-I-I never heard of him. 105 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,547 Uh, uh, he's-he's a new kid, Dr. Samuels. 106 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:17,839 - Yeah! - Yeah, he's right. Uh.. 107 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,052 You've seen him, red hair, lots of freckles. 108 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,933 [indistinct chatter] 109 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,300 I don't recall anyone like that. 110 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:26,056 - H-he just moved here. - From where? 111 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,849 - Seattle. - Chicago. 112 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,232 - Chicago. - Sea.. 113 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,979 Well, it was, it was a divorce joint custody. 114 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,110 A really messy affair, now can we forget 115 00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:34,477 this whole ugly incident? 116 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:38,074 Forget it? Wait till I get my hands on this McNally kid. 117 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,571 Wait till I get him into my office! 118 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,702 I'll nail his hide to the wall! 119 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:46,040 [instrumental music] 120 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,616 Okay, Randy McNally 121 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:51,253 you are about to become one of Fillmore's finest. 122 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,671 Okay, what kind of grades do we give him? 123 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,379 - Bs and Cs? - Are you kidding? 124 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,169 Anybody who could pull a practical joke like that 125 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,962 has got to have straight As. 126 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,416 Hey, Aristotle, while I'm at it, you want 127 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,925 a couple of airline tickets to Bermuda? 128 00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:04,681 First class? 129 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,721 [instrumental music] 130 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,648 [instrumental music] 131 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,440 Hey, Alan, how you doin'? Is that from Harvard? 132 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:22,945 Yes. No. Uh, well, maybe. Who cares? 133 00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:24,824 Bye, Alan. 134 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,243 Hey, Billy, can I talk to you? 135 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,906 Sure, Eric, it'll be a pleasure to talk to a student 136 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,075 who actually exists. 137 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,503 Yeah, well, I almost wish I didn't. 138 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,002 I applied to the University of Iowa 139 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,304 'cause they have this great writing program, right? 140 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,008 And I sent them this sample of my writing.. 141 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,719 - Turned you down? - Yeah, well.. 142 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,969 Can you just read the short story I sent them 143 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,141 and let me know if it's as bad as they say. 144 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,770 And be brutally honest with me. 145 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:52,387 - I can take it. - Sure, I'll be delighted. 146 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:56,555 "The Innocent Bystander." Yeah, that's interest.. 147 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,976 - Interesting? - Yeah. 148 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,364 You hate it. Great! 149 00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:05,074 Hey, Billy, Billy, I got to hand it to ya. 150 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,914 This Randy McNally bit you thought of is perfect! 151 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,950 From now on, any prank I wanna pull around here 152 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:12,164 "Hey, it was Randy McNally's fault." 153 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,825 I love it! I love you! 154 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,543 Hey, Dr. Samuels, you're not gonna believe this. 155 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:19,054 Randy McNally just broke into the biology lab 156 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:22,587 and glued all the frogs back together. 157 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,842 Yeah, well, I can overlook it with a record like his. 158 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,675 - This kid is a genius! - He is? 159 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,100 Why isn't this kid in the IHP? Look. 160 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,969 Well, actually, I-I was gonna recommend him 161 00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,676 but, uh, we don't have enough desks. 162 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,476 I mean, where's he gonna sit, on a globe? 163 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:39,191 Well, no matter, Randy McNally is gonna be 164 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,402 a credit to Fillmore 165 00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:41,571 and I'm gonna see that this kid 166 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:44,069 has every opportunity to shine! 167 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,622 Glued the frogs together. Ha-ha. Now that's funny. 168 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,237 [laughing] 169 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:53,124 Why can't you think of something like that, huh? 170 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,582 But.. 171 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,712 [laughing] 172 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:59,208 Yeah, this Randy McNally guy is gettin' on my nerves now. 173 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,969 - Oh.. - Hey, Alan, did you hear? 174 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,296 Leave me alone about Harvard, alright? 175 00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:07,722 Man, Harvard, Harvard, Harvard! 176 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,470 Is that all you guys can talk about? 177 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,262 'I don't even wanna hear the word Harvard.' 178 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,015 Hey, relax, Alan, all I was gonna say was 179 00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,267 did you hear the one about the parrot and the gorilla? 180 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:19,649 - Dang! - I'm sorry, Alex. No, I didn't. 181 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,819 Okay, okay, okay, here-here is how it goes. 182 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,358 See, there's this parrot a-and a gorilla 183 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,991 and they both get accepted to Harvard. 184 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,907 Oh, ha-ha, very funny, Alex. Very funny. 185 00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,406 Very funny. 186 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,334 Hey, Alan. 187 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:33,868 Look, it's understandable you're a bit worried 188 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,791 about not getting into Harvard and all that. 189 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,750 But you must remember, no news is good news. 190 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:42,171 Oh, yeah? Does this look like no news? 191 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,801 - Hey, it's from Harvard. - I know that. 192 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:48,929 - You haven't even opened it. - I know that, too. 193 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:53,558 It's nice and heavy, it can only mean one thing, my friend. 194 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,768 You've been accepted. 195 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:57,227 [scoffs] Well, of course, I've been accepted. 196 00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,898 I never doubted I'd been accepted. 197 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:03,817 Doesn't matter, Billy. I'm not going to Harvard. 198 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,648 [instrumental music] 199 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,491 [indistinct chatter] 200 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:15,503 - Good morning, geniuses! - 'Hi, Billy!' 201 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,076 Hey, Billy, aren't you gonna congratulate Viki? 202 00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:19,372 - Yeah. - Absolutely. 203 00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,745 Stand back and let the dog see the rabbit. 204 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:25,672 Congratulations, Viki, my heartiest congratulations. 205 00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,723 It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. 206 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:31,717 You must be so proud and happy. I know I certainly am. 207 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,261 Thanks, Billy. How did you find out? 208 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,474 I didn't. I have no idea what they're talking about. 209 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,144 I got accepted to MIT. 210 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,055 I got my notification yesterday in the mail. 211 00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,563 - Oh, yeah! - This is wonderful. 212 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,936 I'm going to Sarah Lawrence, Jasper just got into Princeton 213 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,404 Alex is going to Vassar. 214 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,574 It look like all this hard work 215 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,322 is finally paying off for everyone. 216 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,204 - You are right. - Right. 217 00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,406 This is the worst day of my life. 218 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,825 - Dennis, what happened? - What happened? 219 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,964 I got this yesterday. 220 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,006 "Dear Mr. Blunden. 221 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,129 [humming] 222 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,506 "While your credentials are impressive 223 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,104 "we've already selected two students from Fillmore 224 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:21,229 to attend MIT this next school year." 225 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:25,269 It's impossible. Who could have beat me out at this school? 226 00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,984 Do you wanna tell him your good news, Viki? 227 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,275 [screaming] 228 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,663 I knew you'd be happy for her. 229 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:40,291 Alright, alright, that's one. Who's the other one, huh? 230 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:42,539 Which one of you traitors went behind my back 231 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,042 and applied to MIT? 232 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:48,503 - Not me, Dennis. I'm a Beaver. - 'Me, either, Dennis.' 233 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,126 [indistinct chatter] 234 00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,383 Viki, I heard the news! 235 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,716 - I just wanna congratulate you. - Thanks, Dr. Samuels. 236 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,602 Boy, MIT, it's a little intimidating. 237 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,180 Oh, you'll do just fine. 238 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,595 And at least you'll have one friend at MIT 239 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,444 that you already know. 240 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:06,309 Do I? 241 00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:09,275 Randy McNally got accepted, too! 242 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:12,817 Randy McNally? 243 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:16,072 Yeah, I have an old buddy in admissions. We go way back. 244 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,655 Uh, he said it was okay if I send in 245 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,580 a late application on Randy. 246 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,619 'Boy, was he impressed.' 247 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,877 Something wrong, Dennis? 248 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,747 - No, I'm fine. - Good, fine. 249 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,924 Well, okay. Carry on! 250 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,223 I.. It's.. 251 00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:35,797 [indistinct chatter] 252 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:39,260 It's alright, Dennis, go ahead. 253 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,175 [screaming] 254 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,941 Hate to be the one to tell you, Dennis 255 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,517 class finished five minutes ago. 256 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,613 All my life.. 257 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:54,360 All my life, ever since I was a little boy 258 00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:57,283 I've always wanted to go to MIT. 259 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,743 And now when I was so close 260 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:05,205 so close that...I could practically taste the beefaroni 261 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:07,247 in the dorm cafeteria.. 262 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:11,919 ...it's just not meant to be. 263 00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:16,972 Uh, uh, maybe Viki was right about all the karma crapola. 264 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:20,639 Yeah, maybe you should have sat under a pyramid. 265 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,720 A ruined one. Ha-ha. 266 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,101 You know, Billy, I keep asking myself. 267 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:30,153 Am-am I such a terrible person? Is this whole thing my fault? 268 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,149 Hard question to ask. 269 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,281 No, it's not. 270 00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,817 - It's your fault. - My fault? 271 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,531 Yeah, you're the guy who invented 272 00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:39,991 this whole Randy McNally thing in the first place. 273 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,452 And you lied to Dr. Samuels, that's low. 274 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,373 I only did it to save your hide. 275 00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:47,042 Well, who asked you to save my hide? 276 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,828 You did. 277 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,285 Oh, well, now I'm asking you to butt out. 278 00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:54,376 Oh, it's a bit late for that, maybe we should have told 279 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,172 Dr. Samuels the truth in the first place. 280 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:58,675 - Well, maybe we should have. - Okay, fine. 281 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:02,048 I'll go right now and tell Dr. Samuels the truth. 282 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,636 No, no, wait, wait, wait. Come on, Billy. 283 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,021 Let's think about this for a second. 284 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,727 Alright, alright, on the one hand, if you tell Dr. Samuels 285 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,978 he'll probably tell his buddy at MIT what a jerk I am 286 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,020 and then I'll never get in. 287 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,573 - That's likely. - Yeah. 288 00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:15,066 But on the other hand, if we don't tell him 289 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,529 if we don't tell him, when Randy McNally 290 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,909 never shows up in MIT this fall, I could still get in. 291 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:22,317 - That's possible. - Yeah, but on the other hand-- 292 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,696 Hey, hold on. I've only got two hands. 293 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,164 Now, would you like me to use one of them 294 00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,253 to knock Dr. Samuels door? 295 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,618 [sighs] Oh, Billy, I need to think. 296 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,878 [instrumental music] 297 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,046 Why don't you want to go to Harvard? 298 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,760 [sighs] Because.. 299 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,968 ...I don't wanna be a guppy. 300 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,063 Don't blame yourself for what they call themselves. 301 00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,768 Harvard guppies. 302 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,062 No. 303 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,692 I mean, here at Fillmore 304 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,979 I've always been...a big fish 305 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:58,074 even if Fillmore is a relatively small pond. 306 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,110 But at Harvard I'm gonna be this little fish 307 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,664 trying to survive in an enormous pond. 308 00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,618 Well, that's gonna happen to you more and more. 309 00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:06,788 You're gonna meet all sorts of fish. 310 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,657 Sharks, jellyfish 311 00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:11,834 blowfish, gefilte fish 312 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,214 even those weird fish you normally only see 313 00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:15,421 in Jacques Cousteau films 314 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,421 with wee lights at the ends of the noses. 315 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,010 I guess the truth is.. 316 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,675 ...I'm afraid. 317 00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,852 There's gonna be so many intelligent students at Harvard. 318 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,482 The best and the brightest in the country. 319 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:37,192 What if I can't cut it? 320 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,823 It's a chance you'll have to take, Alan. 321 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,821 Not if I don't go there. 322 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,616 Well? 323 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,121 - Oh, hey, I read your story. - And? 324 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,753 I don't know what these people in Iowa are talkin' about. 325 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,251 I thought it was brilliant! 326 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:58,092 I've always thought it was brilliant. 327 00:13:58,128 --> 00:13:59,168 Beg your pardon? 328 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,173 Well, when I first read it, it had a different title 329 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,425 you know, it was called "The Ox-Bow Incident" 330 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,507 in those days. 331 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:05,682 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 332 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:06,639 "The Ox-Bow Incident." 333 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,099 I've read that one years ago. 334 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:13,521 Oh, my God, I re-wrote "The Ox-Bow Incident?" 335 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,481 [laughs] Well, more or less. 336 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,811 You've written your version of it. 337 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,686 Like, you've used the Lower East Side 338 00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:19,822 instead of the Old West. 339 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,489 And some of those street gangs were on horses. 340 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,897 Well, it's pretty much the same thing, isn't it? 341 00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:26,236 Oh, man! I never meant to.. 342 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,412 Billy, you know I would never plagiarize. 343 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,580 Of course, I do. 344 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:32,198 And so does the man in charge of the writing program 345 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:35,286 over there in Iowa. There's his number. 346 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:38,002 Why don't you fax him one of your other stories? 347 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,213 Oh, this is great, Billy. 348 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,423 Look, I'm gonna send them my best story. 349 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,474 "Huckleberry Finn," huh? 350 00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:46,722 [chuckles] 351 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:47,930 [knocking on door] 352 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,010 Yeah, come in. 353 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:52,524 Dr. Samuels, hey, Dennis has something to tell you. 354 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:55,475 Hey, come on. In. 355 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,149 Come on, Dennis, get in here. 356 00:14:57,187 --> 00:15:01,067 [clears throat] Uh, yes, Dr. Samuels. 357 00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:04,818 Uh, it's about Randy McNally and the intercom incident. 358 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,202 Oh, yeah, I'm sorry that the one time I thought I had you 359 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:10,119 it turned out to be someone else. Heh-heh. 360 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,199 But you haven't graduated yet. 361 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,164 Yeah, you're gonna screw up again 362 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,825 and I'm gonna be there waiting. 363 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,705 [sighs] You're not making this any easier, sir. 364 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,212 Now, about Randy McNally-- 365 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,593 Yeah, well, what about him? 366 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:26,680 Well, Dr. Samuels, actually, the truth.. 367 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,217 He's dead. 368 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,810 What? Ho-how? 369 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:35,727 Uh, Randy suffered from a terrible allergy, Dr. Samuels 370 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,898 to, uh, to-to feathers. 371 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,358 Feathers. 372 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,154 Are you saying he was killed with a feather duster? 373 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:48,203 No, no. I mean, that would be absurd, wouldn't it? 374 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:50,778 - Yes. - Yes, well.. 375 00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:54,584 It would appear that Randy, uh, he-he went to t-the zoo 376 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,500 he-he was, and he walked into the-the bird aviary. 377 00:15:57,539 --> 00:16:00,709 And he was no sooner in than the wind blew the door shut. 378 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,211 Did I mention it was a very windy day? 379 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,302 No, you didn't. No. 380 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,458 And it was a very windy day 381 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:09,676 and the-the door slammed shut behind him, locked 382 00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:13,808 and it was the, uh, zookeeper's day off. 383 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,557 And, uh, anyway 384 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:20,059 they fou-found his body this morning. 385 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,404 [sobbing] 386 00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,862 The birds attacked him? 387 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,991 - Yes. - No. 388 00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,871 - No. - 'No..' 389 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,580 Apparently, he, uh, he sneezed to death. 390 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,634 - Is that possible? - Yeah. 391 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,173 Well, apparently, when you sneeze 392 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,636 every time you sneeze, your heart misses a beat. 393 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,637 Now, if you, if you sneeze enough sneezes 394 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,970 together one after the other 395 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,926 it can, you know, flat line. 396 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:02,266 [imitating beeping] 397 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:07,192 That's the saddest thing I ever heard. 398 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:09,494 Yes, and the weirdest. 399 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:13,197 God, I'm gonna miss that kid. 400 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,950 Yeah, me, too. 401 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,452 Alright, come on, Billy, let's go. 402 00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:17,753 Yeah. 403 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,916 Yes! Yes! Yes! 404 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,417 With Randy McNally dead and buried 405 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,209 I am next in line for MIT. 406 00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,632 All we gotta do is make sure Dr. Samuels doesn't find out 407 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,591 and I am home free! 408 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,261 Wait, I know what we'll do. 409 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,050 We'll have a memorial service after school. 410 00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:36,184 - Uh.. - You okay, Dennis? 411 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,601 I-I think Dennis needs to be alone for a wee while. 412 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,180 - He wants.. - Just, just.. 413 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,845 [instrumental music] 414 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:44,979 Oh.. 415 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,698 You know, I, I never got a chance to meet him. 416 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,908 Bernadette, there is no Randy McNally. 417 00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:58,619 It's hard to accept, isn't it, Billy? 418 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,747 Fellow Fillmorians 419 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,290 We are gathered here today 420 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,293 to pay our respects to Randy McNally. 421 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:11,876 In the short time he was with us, he left an indelible mark. 422 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,974 And now I'd like to call on his favorite teacher 423 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,720 Billy MacGregor, to say a few words. 424 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,183 Billy. 425 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,100 For those of you who didn't know Randy 426 00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,943 and I'm sure there must be a few of you.. 427 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:30,284 ...he was a remarkable young man. 428 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,357 And if there's one thing we can learn 429 00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:35,362 from his untimely passing 430 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:40,155 it's that we should seize the opportunities as they arise. 431 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,662 Oh, sure, it's a big pond out there 432 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:45,294 and sometimes you'll feel like 433 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,672 'perhaps you're only a little fish.' 434 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:51,509 But if you trust in yourself 435 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,877 'you'll grow, and sure enough' 436 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:57,934 the pond gets amazingly smaller. 437 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,930 And I know you must be saying to yourself 438 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,972 "What's this got to do with Randy McNally?" 439 00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,095 - Yeah. - Yeah. 440 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,942 Well, there's a little bit of Randy McNally 441 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:06,848 in everything. 442 00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:10,975 The fish, the pond...the map. 443 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,284 [laughing] 444 00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:17,492 That was very beautiful, Billy. 445 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,831 Thank you, Bernadette. 446 00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,027 Yes, I'm gonna do it! 447 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,946 This is the happiest day of my life. 448 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,205 (Viki) 'Hey, Alan, what are you talking about?' 449 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:28,747 Oh, uh, sorry, I-I'm just happy because I'm going to Harvard. 450 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:32,002 A-and Randy is going to heaven, which is almost as good. 451 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,338 Sorry. 452 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,259 [clears throat] 453 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:40,051 Thank you, uh, Mr. MacGregor. 454 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:43,305 And now I would like to call upon a student 455 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:47,638 who obviously knew Randy better than anyone else, uh 456 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,476 to say a few words. 457 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,822 Dennis Blunden. Come up. 458 00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:55,188 Oh! I, uh, I.. 459 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,145 [indistinct chatter] 460 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,320 [clearing throat] 461 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:02,985 I'm sorry. 462 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:06,455 Uh, yes, uh, well.. 463 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:11,876 [sighs] What can you say about Randy McNally? 464 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:15,256 [sobbing] 465 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,547 He was a hard guy to get to know. 466 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,100 [sobbing] I'm sorry, I can't go on. I just can't. 467 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:26,137 No, no, no, no, no. Tell, tell us more. 468 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:29,483 You must have a lot of funny stories, um 469 00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:33,019 personal anecdotes, uh, fond memories 470 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,525 'that you could share with us all.' 471 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:39,817 Uh, what were his likes, his passions, his hobbies? 472 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:44,658 Bungee-cord jumping. 473 00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:47,701 In fact, that was the way I always thought he'd go. 474 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,036 [students laughing] 475 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,002 Are they laughing, Billy? 476 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:53,592 Well, different people have different ways 477 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,337 of showing grief, Bernadette. 478 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:58,919 Oh! They must have loved him very much. 479 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:02,758 Yeah, yes, yes, yes, well.. 480 00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:05,183 I would like to take this sad opportunity 481 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:09,602 to say, uh, something I've been needing to say for a long time 482 00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,563 and that is, um.. 483 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:15,396 ...I got you, Blunden. 484 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,360 - Huh? - Huh? 485 00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:25,034 - What? - Randy McNally, my eye. 486 00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,695 You knew? You knew.. 487 00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:29,995 Billy, you knew he knew? 488 00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:33,128 He got to the computer files before you, I had to tell him. 489 00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:34,416 Why didn't you.. 490 00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,629 [indistinct chatter] 491 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,760 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute! 492 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,548 You let me think that he had a friend in MIT 493 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:43,761 and that, and that I got a rejection letter and the.. 494 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:45,722 Oh, man, I made a fool out of myself! 495 00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:49,222 That's the way it goes, Dennis. It was your karma. 496 00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:50,636 [laughing] 497 00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,984 Dennis, I do have a friend at MIT. 498 00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:56,570 In fact, I had him send you that first letter. 499 00:21:56,606 --> 00:21:59,356 Here's the real letter, son. 500 00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:00,861 What does it say? 501 00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:04,663 I'm in! I'm in! 502 00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:06,908 [cheering] 503 00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:09,910 [instrumental music] 504 00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:11,583 - Yes! - Yes! 505 00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:20,424 [theme music] 506 00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:42,898 [music continues] 37281

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