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[theme music]
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(Charlie)
Fourteenth, fifteenth,
sixteenth, century, historically
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witchcraft trials have been,
not only for purposes
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of religious persecution,
but political as well
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to, to confiscate property,
to get rid of an enemy, to--
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Uh, Mr. Moore, could I..
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[chuckles]
Sorry.
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So, uh...from the crusades
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through the inquisition,
right up to the present day..
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...the name of the devil
has been invoked
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for political purposes.
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The Ayatollah called
the United States
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"The Great Satan."
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Ronald Reagan referred
to the Soviet Union
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as "The Evil Empire."
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[bell rings]
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I'll see you tomorrow,
and don't forget
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your religion and history papers
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are due by 3 o'clock, Friday.
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Uh, M-Mr. Moore.
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Uh, can I have a little
more time with my report?
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- No.
- That's it? No.
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- Yes.
- Why not?
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T.J., look,
if you wanna be in the IHP
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you have to do the same work
that the IHP does
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within the same time
the IHP has.
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Oh, I have done the work,
no problem with that.
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- So the report's done?
- Oh, practically.
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I-I-I mean, it's done
except for the cover.
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- Oh, I don't need a cover.
- And the last couple of pages.
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How about those
first couple of pages?
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Well, I--
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How about all those
words in between?
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I-I-I know what the words are.
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I just have to put them
in the right order.
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Look, you are, you are
this close to being in the IHP.
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Now, don't blow it.
I know you've worked very hard.
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I-I know, but see, I was..
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- T.J., 3 o'clock. Friday.
- Right.
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[instrumental music]
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- Man, this is totally unfair.
- Shh.
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Well, I've been
working for weeks.
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I've done all the research.
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Why can't I have a few more days
to write it?
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- I'm tired. I'm burnt out.
- You're wasting time.
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Well, in my old class,
term papers were easy.
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You'd copy a page
out of the encyclopedia
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and if you got the right page,
you got an A.
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What's your paper on, anyway?
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The mythology
of evil in history.
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- Hmm. Sounds very intriguing.
- Yeah.
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So, what's the problem?
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Well, if I don't do a good job
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I don't get into the IHP.
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So I gotta make it interesting.
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You know, if you wanna talk
about concepts of evil
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you gotta talk about
the main man.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah. Beelzebub.
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- Beelze-who?
- Beelzebub, T.J.
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It's another name for the devil.
Look it up in the card catalog.
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"Beelzebub.
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See Mephistopheles, Lucifer,
the devil."
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[scoffs]
I'd like to see the devil.
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I'd like him to write
my paper for me.
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I'd sell my soul for that paper.
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You called?
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[gasps]
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My card.
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Bill Z. Bub.
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Wait a minute, if you're the
devil, what're you doin' here?
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My beeper went off.
You call, I come.
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Okay, let's get
down to business.
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W-w-what do you want from me?
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Kid, I'm here to help you. You
wanna get in the IHP, don't you?
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You can get me in
the honors program?
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"Honor," such an ugly word.
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But if that's what you want,
sweetheart, I'm here for you.
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Look, I'm almost in,
all I got to do is
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write a great history paper
by 3 o'clock, Friday.
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Yeah. Which you
haven't even started yet.
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- Well, see, I m--
- That's alright.
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You can lie to me.
I like it. I like it.
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Listen, uh, is that
all you want? The IHP?
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Why stop at the history paper?
How about, uh, a boyfriend?
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How'd you like to be
prom queen? No problem.
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- Just sign this.
- Huh-uh. Ho-ho-hold it.
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I know what you want. You want
my soul. Well, forget it, buddy.
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'Cause I'm not gonna spend
the rest of my life in hell.
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Oh, wait a minute.
Hell has got such a bad rap.
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We party down there.
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We swing. It's-it's-it's more
like a resort, uh, Club Dead.
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Okay. Well, maybe hell
isn't as bad as they say.
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But I'm still not gonna
sell my soul to you. Hah!
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Alright. No problem.
Don't get in the IHP.
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You can kiss college
goodbye, of course.
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So, T.J.,
how's the paper coming?
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Oh, i-i-it's, it's okay.
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Well, I, I-I know
it's gonna be great.
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I have a lot of faith in you,
T.J.
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But I don't wanna
keep you from your work.
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Remember, idle hands
are the devil's playthings.
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This is a big chance for you.
Don't mess it up.
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Oh!
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"T-t-the Mythology
Of Evil In History.
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"A semiotic deconstruction
of demonology
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in the 17th century America,
by T.J. Jones."
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- W-where do I sign?
- Mmm. Right here.
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[instrumental music]
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I suppose it comes
as a surprise to no one
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that since this is
one of the greatest papers
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in the history of history
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that it gives me great pleasure
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to welcome T.J. Jones
to the IHP.
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[cheering]
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- Welcome, T.J.
- Congratulations!
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Thank you, Mr. Moore.
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I-it was a long, hard climb,
but hey, it was worth it.
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Well, why don't you take a seat?
A-any seat at all.
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As a matter of fact, why don't
you take my seat? Here.
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- Huh. Thanks.
- I'd be honored.
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- Can I adjust that for you?
- Oh, this is great.
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Well, umm..
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Today, we're gonna be talking
about the 19th Amendment.
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Uh, granting women
the right to vote.
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- This was ratified--
- By the 36th state.
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- Yes, on August 26th--
- 1920.
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Having been previously rejected
by Georgia, Delaware, Louisiana
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Marilyn, Mississippi,
South Carolina and Virginia.
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[indistinct chatter]
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- She is amazing.
- Yeah.
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She's absolutely right.
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I-I just feel like a fool trying
to teach in your presence.
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I mean..
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W-would you do the honors today?
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- Yeah. Sure.
- 'Oh, great.'
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See...I've personally
found it fascinating
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that before women
got the vote, uh..
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Mr. Moore, you might
wanna jot this down too.
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Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
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President Wilson
appointed a woman
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as sub cabinet member
back in, uh..
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Bringing us
to the appointment of
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Sandra Day O'Connor
to the supreme court.
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[bell ringing]
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[all groaning]
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Well, we'll pick up
here tomorrow.
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Well, I can hardly wait.
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T.J., it was just brilliant.
Really, brilliant.
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I was wondering if I might
copy your blackboard notes
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just for years and years
to come.
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00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:47,879
- No problem.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
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Move it, move it, will you?
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You know, T.J.,
you've made me realize
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that women are my equals.
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And-and in your case,
my superior.
156
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T.J., I hate my poetry.
157
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Will you teach me how to rap?
Be my soul sister?
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00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,398
T.J., your hair is so great.
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00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,445
Will you teach me
how to do that with mine?
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T.J., I'm tired of being perky.
161
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Will you show me
how to get down and be bad?
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- Get out of my face.
- Okay. I'll try that.
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Get out of my face.
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Get out of my face.
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- Hey..
- That's great, wow.
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T.J., you'll know this.
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What is the charged lepton
that's found
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in the second family
of the particles of cosmic rays?
169
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:32,091
The muon. And in the third
family, it's the tau particle.
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00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,966
- Of course.
- I think I'm in love.
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I saw her first.
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Hey, T.J., do you remember when
we first met, and you said
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[chuckles]
"See you later, equator?"
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[laughing]
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That was so funny.
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Oh, oh, and my second favorite
insult is when you said--
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T.J..
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I'm so sorry. L-let me..
I'll get it for you.
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00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,324
No, no, let me get it,
I'm closer to the--
180
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,034
- No, no, no. Ow!
- Ow!
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00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,084
Get off.
Oh, I'll get it.
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- No, no, no.
- 'Hey, kids, kids.'
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Come on, guys.
Break it up. Break it up!
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Hey, hey. I'm the teacher here.
I get to give it to her.
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00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,713
T.J., excuse me
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00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:11,676
but I-I have a very important
announcement to make.
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Go ahead.
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00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:17,064
Normally, we wait until the prom
date to announce the prom queen.
189
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,978
But this year,
due to an overwhelming sentiment
190
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it is obvious that
this year's queen is
191
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:25,645
of course, T.J. Jones.
192
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,980
That is, that is, that is..
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
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00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:32,695
- That is, if you'll accept.
- What the hay.
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00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:33,858
Please.
195
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,406
Theola June Jones
196
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:39,249
I hereby crown you
this year's queen of the prom.
197
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,497
[cheering]
198
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,705
[instrumental music]
199
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,810
Am I hell on wheels or what?
200
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,652
I must say,
you really delivered.
201
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,650
I mean, I'm the most popular,
the smartest--
202
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,452
You are happening, homegirl,
and you lost six pounds.
203
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:16,116
- Oh, really. Huh, thanks.
- I'm glad you're happy.
204
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,447
Now it's time to make me happy.
205
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:21,121
- W-what do you want?
- Ooh. I don't know.
206
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,622
- Your soul.
- Now?
207
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:26,044
No. Not now. There's no rush.
208
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,593
Say, about, uh, 3 o'clock?
209
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,258
Please, I don't want to die.
You know, this is really scary.
210
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,177
I'll tell you what's scary,
these near-death experiences..
211
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:35,966
I mean, they are like,
coming or not.
212
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,390
Half the time,
they change their minds
213
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,058
and I'm stuck
with a bowl of Bridge Mix.
214
00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:43,636
Well, you know what? I made
up my mind and I'm not goin'.
215
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,767
Uh-uh, Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore.
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00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,561
You know how you said we could
come to you if we ever had
217
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,225
a personal problem
or something like that?
218
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,273
Sure. Anything for you, T.J.
219
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,436
Well, this is not like I can't
220
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,404
get a date for the dance
221
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,443
or the dog ate my homework
222
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,566
you know, this is really major.
223
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,822
- Oh, sounds serious.
- It is.
224
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,244
[laughs]
I bet it is.
225
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,079
[laughing]
Well, I'm sure I can handle it.
226
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,500
- Do you mind?
- 3 o'clock.
227
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,960
Besides, whatever happened,
I'm sure I've seen it before.
228
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,417
I-I sold my soul to the devil
229
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,425
and he's coming back for me
at 3 o'clock.
230
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,271
So, when I couldn't
write my paper
231
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,057
I sold my soul to the devil
and he wrote it.
232
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,562
Or had Machiavelli write it
or something like that.
233
00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,654
[indistinct chatter]
234
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:35,110
T.J., don't-don't be so modest.
Now you are a brilliant scholar.
235
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:37,702
- Take the credit you deserve.
- Yeah.
236
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:41,448
I'm being serious.
Look, here's my contract.
237
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,117
[gasps]
238
00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:47,583
The devil did write your paper..
239
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:50,583
Mr. Moore,
isn't that an automatic F?
240
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:56,216
To think, I asked you
to be my soul sister.
241
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,837
Well, I don't need you
to teach me to rap.
242
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,184
I can do it without
243
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,509
any outside assistance from you.
244
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,151
[snaps fingers]
245
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,188
[snaps fingers]
246
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:24,448
Oh, come on.
You gotta understand.
247
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,663
I mean, this was the most
important thing in my life.
248
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,374
My big chance to get into the
IHP a-and I was like paralyzed.
249
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,956
I was afraid to do it
and I was afraid not to do it.
250
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,462
But you know,
I've learned my lesson.
251
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:38,093
Now, if I could only break
this contract with the devil.
252
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,302
Break a contract with the devil?
253
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:43,932
Well, I've...been up against
a tough one or two in my time.
254
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:48,641
I mean, I've handled
Simone and Eric's love life.
255
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:49,734
(all)
Mm-hmm.
256
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,609
Tried to show Dennis
the error of his ways.
257
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:54,316
(all)
Mmm-hmm.
258
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:58,935
It could be
my biggest challenge.
259
00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,026
Y-y-you're right.
I-i-it could be.
260
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:03,321
Come on, guys, please help me,
I'm running out of time.
261
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:05,445
He's gonna come
get me at 3 o'clock.
262
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,583
Well, there are no guarantees,
T.J.
263
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,290
I mean,
we might not win this one.
264
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,791
But you kids could research
265
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:14,252
how to deal
with this devil guy.
266
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,843
What do you say?
Are you up to it?
267
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,338
I mean,
the devil versus the IHP.
268
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,050
- Yeah!
- Okay! We'll do it.
269
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:23,140
[instrumental music]
270
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:24,931
Okay, we're almost ready now.
271
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,430
Everybody did their research,
right?
272
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,142
- Yeah!
- Okay, look sharp.
273
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,642
It's almost 3 o'clock,
Mr. Moore.
274
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:30,773
Yeah, so where is he?
275
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,400
I hope nothing happened to him.
276
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,074
Well, maybe he forgot.
277
00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:37,816
Well, if he comes,
we're ready for him.
278
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,108
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
279
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:41,281
[thunder rumbling]
280
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,818
- 'Hey! Hey!'
- 'Wait a minute.'
281
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:47,075
[screaming]
282
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,330
[intense music]
283
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:03,295
Hi, kids.
Anybody want some gum?
284
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:09,312
- So, T.J., ready to go?
- Now, hold it.
285
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:12,388
Nobody leaves this room
without a hall pass.
286
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,516
Look, uh,
she wants out of the deal.
287
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:20,824
Oh, what a surprise!
I never heard of that before.
288
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,950
Surely, you've let
people out before, Mr. Devil.
289
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,488
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
290
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,371
Pete Rose.
291
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,826
He wanted to be
the biggest hero in baseball.
292
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,370
So I worked it out for him,
then he wanted out.
293
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,214
So I let him out,
who's sorry now?
294
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:38,419
Well, you're just gonna
have to do it one more time
295
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,170
because she wants out.
296
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:43,512
What is this?
Another good deed, Charlie.
297
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,179
Charlie,
you're your own worst enemy.
298
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:49,177
You know, this goodness thing
is ruining your acting career.
299
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:53,141
- What acting career? I s--
- Ah, exactly.
300
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:57,313
You know, I could have gotten
you the lead in "The Graduate"
301
00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:59,654
but no, you had to tell
that clerk from Macy's
302
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:03,110
that she gave you back
too much change.
303
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,822
Hoffmann looked right for that.
304
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,282
I-I-I'm not saying
he wasn't good, but..
305
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,413
I would've made some
really interesting choices.
306
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,740
Yeah, that first scene
with Mrs. Robinson--
307
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:15,245
I can still make you a star,
Charlie.
308
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:18,249
A lot of people
in Hollywood owe me.
309
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:21,296
Don't-don't, that's,
this is not about me.
310
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,547
- This is about T.J.
- Alright.
311
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,839
You wanna be a loser?
You'll be a loser.
312
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:30,143
Let's make it interesting, hm?
Say, uh, double or nothing?
313
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:34,929
You win, you keep T.J.
I win, I get T.J. and you.
314
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,305
- Don't do it, Mr. Moore.
- Don't!
315
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,852
No, Mr. Moore, don't do it.
Please, no.
316
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:41,230
You're on.
317
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,403
[all gasping]
318
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:43,231
[sighs]
319
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:47,145
You really are good.
You make me sick.
320
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:52,453
You better give it
your best shot, kids. Now.
321
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:56,330
Alright, Mr. Beelzebub,
we've done a lot of research.
322
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,292
And we've learnt all the rituals
to thwart your power.
323
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,253
'There's crystal amulets.'
324
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,383
'There's 13th century
Latin prayers.'
325
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:07,381
'A-and there's
the circle of salt.'
326
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,760
[humming]
327
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:14,973
And this is supposed
to be the smart class. Mmm.
328
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:18,225
Those were examples of ones
that don't work.
329
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,558
How about this?
330
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:24,113
A formula,
first used in Bologna in 1590.
331
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,649
Whiff this, Pazuzu.
332
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,203
[sniffs]
Ah!
333
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,951
- Arvid, you did it.
- Yay!
334
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,490
Way to go, Arvid.
Way to go.
335
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,744
[screaming]
336
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,207
[screaming]
337
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,666
[screams]
338
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:45,842
You tricked us.
339
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:49,299
You guys are just a little
bit slow picking this up.
340
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:50,841
I am the devil.
341
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,934
I lie, I steal, I cheat,
that's my job.
342
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,681
Listen, I think we better go
directly to your dance number.
343
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:57,604
Now.
344
00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:59,811
Yo, we learned an ancient ritual
voodoo dance
345
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,812
which dates back to 1793.
346
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,024
Oh..
347
00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:06,193
No. Y-you guys don't
know how to dance, do you?
348
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:10,703
Yes, they do. And it goes
a little bit like this.
349
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:11,948
Hit it, kids.
350
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,449
[humming]
351
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:14,910
Five, six, seven, eight.
352
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,950
♪ Back to hell ♪
♪ Go back to hell Satan ♪
353
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,464
♪ Back to hell ♪
♪ Don't mess with Theola ♪♪
354
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:26,455
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
The beat stinks.
355
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:29,343
You guys can't dance.
I'd give it a sixteen.
356
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:32,261
- That didn't work either.
- Okay, that's enough.
357
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,931
I got a squirt gun,
full of holy water
358
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,549
and I'm not afraid to use it.
359
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,176
Go ahead.
360
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,643
Make my day.
361
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,484
[groans]
362
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:46,069
Alright. Amateur hour is over.
363
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,226
Let somebody who speaks
his language talk to him.
364
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,436
Yo, Dev, let's talk.
365
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,566
You're the Blunden boy,
aren't you?
366
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:53,913
You know,
I really like your work.
367
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:55,817
That was a nice double-cross
you pulled on your pal
368
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:58,236
back in Houston,
too bad it didn't pan out.
369
00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,245
Yeah, thanks a lot.
370
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:01,707
- I got a deal for you.
- Mm-hmm.
371
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:05,957
You let T.J. go and I'll
get you a date with Viki.
372
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,421
- Dennis!
- Viki, Schmiki.
373
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:11,172
I'm holding out for Zaza.
374
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,585
But, uh, how about this?
375
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:15,763
How about I get you
a date with Viki?
376
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,893
- You could do that?
- Sure.
377
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:21,640
Of course, uh, you'll have
to give me your eternal soul.
378
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,808
- Come on. What's the catch?
- Dennis, Dennis.
379
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,064
Come on. Come on. Thank you.
380
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,066
Mr. Moore, I'm really sorry
I got you into this.
381
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,608
Just hold on. Hold.. Hold on.
382
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,702
Uh, I-I'm gonna
get this straight. Okay?
383
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,317
Now, uh, th-the point
of this contract
384
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:39,235
is that you made a deal
for her soul, right?
385
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,874
That's right.
386
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,541
Well, according
to most of the literature
387
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:46,499
on the subject that I've read,
ah, the soul is immortal.
388
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:47,962
- Ah, right, right.
- 'Right?'
389
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:52,511
Spinoza said, "We feel
and know that we are eternal."
390
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,508
And-and all the major religions
391
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,760
believe that
the soul never dies.
392
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,972
And-and..
393
00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:00,101
Well, if you're planning
to take her to hell
394
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,889
to be consumed by fire
for all eternity..
395
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,813
...well, then you must think
that her soul is immortal too.
396
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,563
Aah! What's your point?
397
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:12,185
[scoffs]
My point is, according to this..
398
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,364
...you can't collect
until she's dead.
399
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,993
- Ah, so?
- So..
400
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:22,161
If she has a soul,
and her soul is immortal..
401
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:23,662
- Yes.
- Wha..
402
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,214
Then she'll never
really be dead.
403
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:27,327
And thus, you could
never really collect.
404
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:29,964
- Yes!
- The man is good.
405
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,842
The man is better than good.
406
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,169
Ah! The man is a saint.
407
00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:35,764
[cheering]
408
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,719
D-does this mean
you're not gonna take us?
409
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,889
It means, this guy is willing
410
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:43,178
to sacrifice himself for you.
411
00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:45,433
[cheering]
412
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,773
He's too good,
I can't stand him.
413
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:52,192
He would make my life
a living heaven.
414
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,988
- You, I'm taking.
- Oh!
415
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,698
Now, wait just a minute.
416
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,369
What about
the immortal soul argument?
417
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:04,237
If I paid attention to every
two-bit argument from philosophy
418
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:08,366
made simple, I would have been
out of business centuries ago.
419
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:09,915
Yeah, but..
420
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,038
[honking]
421
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:13,745
That's a good point.
422
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:16,255
Sorry, kid, I did what I could.
423
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,548
I'm never gonna
see any of you guys again.
424
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:21,602
Yeah. Except maybe Dennis.
425
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:26,559
3 o'clock. Hey, everybody,
split a slice.
426
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,890
Time to go, T.J.
427
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:32,515
I don't wanna go.
Somebody help me.
428
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,614
Somebody help me.
429
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,150
[bell ringing]
430
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,193
Help..
431
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,656
Come on, T.J. Come on, T.J.
Wake up. Wake up.
432
00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:41,316
[gasps]
433
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,485
What're you doing here?
434
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,792
Where should I be?
I'm the librarian.
435
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:47,826
Oh. Uh, I'm sorry, Mr. Carver.
436
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:52,211
- Uh. My God, What time is it?
- 3 o'clock.
437
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,139
Oh, Mr. Moore, please give me
another chance.
438
00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:03,847
I promise I won't eat,
I won't sleep. I won't goof up.
439
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,137
Just give me a little more
time to write it, please.
440
00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:08,311
Ah, look,
you have plenty of time.
441
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,890
Yeah, but you said
it was due by 3 o'clock.
442
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,856
3 o'clock, Friday.
This is Tuesday.
443
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:16,647
- It is?
- Yeah.
444
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,532
[sighs]
Never mind.
445
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:21,858
[instrumental music]
446
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,412
Dennis, nice.
447
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,003
Sarah, very interesting.
448
00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:32,169
Darlene.
449
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:34,917
Uh, Mr. Moore, Dr. Samuels
said you wanted to see me.
450
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,050
Yeah, I wanted to give you
your paper.
451
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:40,468
Well, how did I do?
452
00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:42,627
Well, let's say
it's not the greatest paper
453
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:44,926
in the history of history.
454
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:47,603
Aren't you gonna
look at your grade?
455
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,519
I-I-I can't, I'm too nervous.
456
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,598
I'm just gonna..
457
00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:59,479
[T.J. screams]
'I made it! I made it!'
458
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,735
- Welcome to the IHP.
- Welcome, T.J.
459
00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:03,699
[all cheering]
460
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:05,869
(Alex)
Welcome, T.J.
461
00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:07,657
Whoo!
462
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,422
So, T.J.,
what'd you get on your paper?
463
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,789
B plus. How about you?
464
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,665
What do you think?
I got an A, of course.
465
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,922
[laughs]
Wait a minute. I didn't see
you burning the midnight oil.
466
00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:23,045
Who did you pay off?
467
00:22:23,091 --> 00:22:24,841
Nobody.
Just that when you're brilliant
468
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:26,295
A-papers kinda come
with the territory.
469
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:28,005
- Uh-huh.
- Goodnight, Blunden.
470
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:31,555
Oh, see you, Mr. Carver.
And thanks, I owe you one.
471
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,060
Sure.
472
00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:36,401
[instrumental music]
473
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:44,735
[theme music]
35269
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