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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,179 - Previously on "Faking It"... - My mom's having an affair. 2 00:00:02,214 --> 00:00:04,257 - Farrah, open up! - Dad? 3 00:00:04,292 --> 00:00:06,107 - What's the answer? - I haven't had any answers 4 00:00:06,142 --> 00:00:07,553 since you slept with my best friend. 5 00:00:07,588 --> 00:00:09,819 There it is! Your trump card. 6 00:00:09,854 --> 00:00:10,807 I have to go. 7 00:00:10,842 --> 00:00:13,053 - I'm not impressive enough? - You're in high school. 8 00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:14,334 God, if I'd known it was going to be like this, 9 00:00:14,369 --> 00:00:15,492 I never would have outed you. 10 00:00:15,527 --> 00:00:17,724 Hello, Karma. Please, get in. 11 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:19,092 I know what I want. 12 00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:24,838 Welcome to detention. 13 00:00:24,873 --> 00:00:27,901 For the next seven hours, you belong to me. 14 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,686 You will sit in your seats quietly 15 00:00:29,721 --> 00:00:31,020 without your cell phones. 16 00:00:31,055 --> 00:00:32,956 No texting, no Candy Crushing, 17 00:00:32,958 --> 00:00:35,077 no SnapChatting your genitalia. 18 00:00:35,112 --> 00:00:37,938 Instead, you will silently ruminate over the shortcomings 19 00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:40,337 that have landed you here. Dig deep. 20 00:00:40,372 --> 00:00:43,467 Figure out how not to repeat the same mistake twice. 21 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:46,737 Or you could get your GED and become an Uber driver. 22 00:00:46,772 --> 00:00:50,960 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 23 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,191 Aren't you guys all friends? 24 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:12,112 Did you have a hot tub party that got a little bit too real? 25 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,209 I know Shane's here because of his naked protest, 26 00:01:14,244 --> 00:01:16,032 but what did the rest of you do? 27 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,118 Clearly, there was a clerical error. 28 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,696 I'm sure I'll be exonerated shortly. 29 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,652 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody's innocent. 30 00:01:21,687 --> 00:01:23,992 What about you, Amy? 31 00:01:26,307 --> 00:01:27,947 You obviously have never watched 32 00:01:27,982 --> 00:01:29,359 "Orange is the New Black." 33 00:01:29,394 --> 00:01:32,265 You don't ask someone why they're doing time. 34 00:01:32,267 --> 00:01:34,350 And if you must know, I cut class 35 00:01:34,352 --> 00:01:37,285 because I was watching a French New Wave film 36 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,556 at the Austin Film Society. 37 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:41,718 I thought you said it was German? 38 00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:45,361 Yeah, right. It was German. 39 00:01:45,363 --> 00:01:47,030 Danke shoe-in. 40 00:01:47,032 --> 00:01:48,314 What about you, Karma? 41 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,213 Yeah, did you and Liam finally get caught 42 00:01:50,248 --> 00:01:51,495 having sex at school? 43 00:01:51,530 --> 00:01:54,404 No! 44 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:57,073 I fell asleep during geometry. 45 00:01:59,628 --> 00:02:01,162 What about you, Liam? 46 00:02:01,197 --> 00:02:04,080 I took a conference call during philosophy. 47 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,049 What? It was with our Dubai office. 48 00:02:06,051 --> 00:02:07,884 It's really hard to coordinate with the time difference. 49 00:02:07,886 --> 00:02:09,402 Oh, did you follow it up with a round of golf 50 00:02:09,437 --> 00:02:11,456 and a spot of day-trading? 51 00:02:11,491 --> 00:02:13,089 What about you, Felix? 52 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,485 Let's just say that Turner has it out for me. 53 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,094 Is it hot in here or is it just me? 54 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:21,347 Turner doesn't turn the AC on on Saturdays. 55 00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:23,790 Lauren, aren't you hot? 56 00:02:23,825 --> 00:02:25,963 - I naturally run cold. - Like most reptiles... 57 00:02:25,998 --> 00:02:28,438 Finish that sentence and I will stab you with this pencil. 58 00:02:40,714 --> 00:02:42,752 So what's the deal with you and Liam? 59 00:02:42,754 --> 00:02:44,266 You two still not talking? 60 00:02:44,301 --> 00:02:47,176 Not since L.A. 61 00:02:47,211 --> 00:02:49,459 Any new developments in Farrah Gate? 62 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,211 Uh, sort of. 63 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,478 My mom promised that that fling was totally over. 64 00:02:53,513 --> 00:02:55,014 Good. The last thing you need 65 00:02:55,016 --> 00:02:58,718 is Farrah leaving Bruce for some new rando. 66 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,362 Yeah, that would suck. 67 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:02,657 Has Lauren agreed not to tell Bruce? 68 00:03:02,692 --> 00:03:03,520 Not yet. 69 00:03:03,555 --> 00:03:05,225 He comes back from a business trip tonight, 70 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,549 and I don't know what she's gonna do. 71 00:03:06,584 --> 00:03:08,908 You could ask her. She's right behind you. 72 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:14,716 Hey, step-sis? 73 00:03:14,751 --> 00:03:16,515 Can we not talk about it? I'm not in the mood. 74 00:03:16,550 --> 00:03:18,333 If you're still on the fence about telling your dad, 75 00:03:18,368 --> 00:03:19,989 I highly recommend not telling. 76 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,824 I don't get why you're covering for Farrah. 77 00:03:21,859 --> 00:03:23,345 If I tell Daddy, they'll break up, 78 00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:24,726 and then she and your dad can get back together. 79 00:03:24,761 --> 00:03:27,213 Shh. 80 00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:29,634 And I don't want them to get back together. 81 00:03:29,669 --> 00:03:32,088 All they do is fight. They're like oil and vinegar. 82 00:03:32,123 --> 00:03:34,544 - Oil and vinegar are delicious. - You know what I mean. 83 00:03:34,579 --> 00:03:37,393 If you must know, I've decided I am telling Daddy. 84 00:03:37,428 --> 00:03:39,092 He's the innocent victim here. 85 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,678 But you'll be splitting our family up. 86 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,858 No, your mother took care of that. 87 00:03:49,341 --> 00:03:50,687 Hey, buddy. 88 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:53,238 How you doing? 89 00:03:53,273 --> 00:03:54,357 Fine. 90 00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,686 You can't keep eating yourself up. 91 00:03:56,721 --> 00:03:58,348 Look, I know you're depressed about Duke... 92 00:03:58,383 --> 00:04:00,079 I'm eating because I'm liberated. 93 00:04:00,081 --> 00:04:02,141 No more Duke hovering over my shoulder 94 00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:03,362 shouting, "Lean and green!" 95 00:04:03,397 --> 00:04:05,995 So you're telling me you're happy you two broke up? 96 00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:08,098 Sure, I'm sad he's gone, but if he can't see 97 00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:09,527 that I did him a favor by outing him, 98 00:04:09,562 --> 00:04:11,624 that's his problem. 99 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,510 Boo! 100 00:04:14,512 --> 00:04:15,952 What the hell are you doing here? 101 00:04:15,987 --> 00:04:18,791 Yeah, did you get lost on the way to the donut shop? 102 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:20,220 Oh, and did you bring any with you? 103 00:04:20,255 --> 00:04:22,214 I'm here to escort Lauren to Principal Turner's office. 104 00:04:22,249 --> 00:04:25,271 I knew it. I'm exonerated. 105 00:04:25,273 --> 00:04:28,224 See you deviants on Monday. 106 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,560 Out of my way, narc. 107 00:04:33,198 --> 00:04:34,897 Okay, I'm dying to know. 108 00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:37,367 Why would your dad put you in detention? 109 00:04:37,369 --> 00:04:39,902 Because he doesn't trust me to be alone all day. 110 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:42,238 Why? All you do is play Xbox. 111 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,290 He has his reasons. 112 00:04:47,712 --> 00:04:50,030 Aw, come on! Just one! 113 00:04:50,065 --> 00:04:52,116 I'm starving and you've got a 7-Eleven over there. 114 00:04:52,151 --> 00:04:53,883 No, I need them all! 115 00:04:53,885 --> 00:04:56,169 Fine. 116 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,504 Karma always has mints. 117 00:05:07,522 --> 00:05:08,573 What you doing? 118 00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,768 Uh, just looking for a light refreshment. 119 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,855 Ooh, give me one. 120 00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:14,059 You know what? I really need to pee. 121 00:05:14,094 --> 00:05:15,655 Come with me. 122 00:05:15,657 --> 00:05:17,763 Amy, I though we got past your fear of peeing alone. 123 00:05:17,798 --> 00:05:19,776 It's not about that. We need to talk now. 124 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,913 Lauren? 125 00:05:23,915 --> 00:05:25,615 You're not supposed to be here. 126 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,878 None of you are. What is going on? 127 00:05:27,913 --> 00:05:30,453 They were sneaking out, sir, but don't worry, I caught 'em. 128 00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:37,342 Any further infractions will be met with detention 129 00:05:37,377 --> 00:05:39,235 until the end of the school year. 130 00:05:39,237 --> 00:05:40,360 Are we clear? 131 00:05:40,395 --> 00:05:41,821 Yes, sir. 132 00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,796 How could you take him back after what he did to you? 133 00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:48,806 - What? - Take who back? 134 00:05:48,841 --> 00:05:51,206 We caught Lauren and Theo making out in the hallway. 135 00:05:51,241 --> 00:05:52,766 After Amy and I helped you out him? 136 00:05:52,801 --> 00:05:54,706 You outed Theo too? 137 00:05:54,741 --> 00:05:55,872 Why am I not surprised? 138 00:05:55,907 --> 00:05:58,724 Lauren, he arrested my parents and me and Amy. 139 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,096 Because he was protecting our secret. 140 00:06:00,131 --> 00:06:01,869 Oh, Lauren, when are you gonna learn? 141 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:02,959 Secrets always come out. 142 00:06:02,994 --> 00:06:04,889 Yeah, because you out them! 143 00:06:04,924 --> 00:06:06,448 Raise your hand if you've been outed 144 00:06:06,483 --> 00:06:08,264 by Shane Harvey. 145 00:06:10,183 --> 00:06:11,372 Thank you for your support. 146 00:06:11,407 --> 00:06:12,798 Oh, no, this isn't support. 147 00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:14,668 You've got a real problem outing people. 148 00:06:14,703 --> 00:06:15,909 If you hadn't outed Duke, you wouldn't be 149 00:06:15,944 --> 00:06:17,509 in this situation right now, so just admit it. 150 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,530 I'll admit it if you admit you're a corporate sellout 151 00:06:19,565 --> 00:06:21,214 and the whole artist thing was a joke. 152 00:06:21,249 --> 00:06:22,695 Lauren, you can't take him back 153 00:06:22,697 --> 00:06:23,823 He's only gonna hurt you again. 154 00:06:23,858 --> 00:06:25,532 I don't give a [bleep] what you think, 155 00:06:25,534 --> 00:06:26,509 but you better keep it a secret, 156 00:06:26,544 --> 00:06:28,361 because if this comes out, Theo loses his job. 157 00:06:28,396 --> 00:06:30,203 Fine, I'll keep your secret 158 00:06:30,205 --> 00:06:31,993 if you promise you won't tell Bruce 159 00:06:32,028 --> 00:06:33,462 that thing I don't want you to tell him. 160 00:06:33,497 --> 00:06:34,470 What thing? 161 00:06:34,505 --> 00:06:37,244 The fact that your mom is [bleep]ing your dad? 162 00:06:39,347 --> 00:06:42,048 That's who you caught your mom with in the motel room? 163 00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:43,800 Why did you keep that from me? 164 00:06:43,802 --> 00:06:45,415 We agreed, no more secrets between us. 165 00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:47,130 I know, but I knew that you would be 166 00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:49,381 all mad and judgy because you hate my dad. 167 00:06:49,416 --> 00:06:51,826 I hate how he blows in here once in a blue moon 168 00:06:51,861 --> 00:06:52,699 if and when he pleases. 169 00:06:52,734 --> 00:06:54,015 He's a war journalist, Karma. 170 00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:57,197 He doesn't exactly decide when wars start or end. 171 00:06:57,232 --> 00:07:00,760 Wait, you didn't cut school to see a film. 172 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,735 You cut school to see him. 173 00:07:02,737 --> 00:07:03,693 Busted. 174 00:07:03,728 --> 00:07:05,488 I'm guilty for spending time with my father. 175 00:07:05,523 --> 00:07:07,691 No, you're guilty of yet another lie. 176 00:07:07,726 --> 00:07:09,502 Maybe we should all take a deep breath. 177 00:07:09,537 --> 00:07:11,653 See this is exactly what happens when people 178 00:07:11,688 --> 00:07:13,413 aren't their true authentic selves. 179 00:07:13,415 --> 00:07:15,588 Oh, enough with the self-righteous bull[bleep]. 180 00:07:15,623 --> 00:07:17,658 You act like you did Duke some huge favor 181 00:07:17,693 --> 00:07:19,654 by outing him, but you're guilt-eating 182 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,955 everything in this room that isn't made of plastic. 183 00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:23,621 You can't just do the wrong thing 184 00:07:23,656 --> 00:07:25,265 and then pretend it's for the right reason. 185 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,594 Excellent point, Booker. 186 00:07:27,629 --> 00:07:29,457 Keeping Farrah's secret is wrong. 187 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,323 And claiming it's to keep our family together 188 00:07:31,358 --> 00:07:32,143 doesn't make it right. 189 00:07:32,178 --> 00:07:33,245 She swore it didn't mean anything, 190 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,179 so can we just forget about it and move on? 191 00:07:36,438 --> 00:07:39,161 Wow, why does that sound familiar? 192 00:07:39,196 --> 00:07:41,385 Oh, yeah. That's what you said 193 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:42,727 when you slept with Liam. 194 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:44,312 Like mother, like daughter. 195 00:07:44,347 --> 00:07:45,660 Let's just sweep it under the rug. 196 00:07:45,695 --> 00:07:47,541 I'm surprised there's any room left under there. 197 00:07:47,576 --> 00:07:49,248 You're one to talk about secrets. 198 00:07:49,283 --> 00:07:51,745 Okay, what's this? 199 00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:56,192 Oh, it's a check from Max Booker for $250,000. 200 00:07:56,227 --> 00:07:59,125 What's that about, Karma? 201 00:08:00,629 --> 00:08:04,064 - What the hell is going on? - That's a big check. 202 00:08:04,099 --> 00:08:06,963 No, like, seriously, that's twice the standard size. 203 00:08:08,291 --> 00:08:09,900 After we got back from L.A., 204 00:08:09,935 --> 00:08:11,407 your father offered me that check 205 00:08:11,442 --> 00:08:14,107 to stay away from you. 206 00:08:14,109 --> 00:08:16,632 - And you took it? - No! 207 00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:18,978 Not yet. I-I-I haven't cashed it. 208 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:22,065 Yeah, but you haven't torn it up either. 209 00:08:23,914 --> 00:08:27,320 Who wouldn't consider taking $250,000? 210 00:08:27,322 --> 00:08:28,900 I've been such an idiot. 211 00:08:28,935 --> 00:08:30,605 It could help my parents get back on their feet, 212 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,087 help pay for college. 213 00:08:32,122 --> 00:08:34,141 How could I not consider it for even a second? 214 00:08:34,176 --> 00:08:36,382 After you left L.A., Zita kissed me. 215 00:08:36,417 --> 00:08:38,480 She made it very clear she wanted more, 216 00:08:38,515 --> 00:08:39,524 but I turned her down. 217 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,334 It didn't take me a week to think about it. 218 00:08:41,336 --> 00:08:42,969 Oh, yeah, well, too bad you didn't think 219 00:08:43,004 --> 00:08:44,420 before you slept with Amy. 220 00:08:44,422 --> 00:08:46,005 Karma, please leave me out of this. 221 00:08:46,007 --> 00:08:47,590 Here we go again. 222 00:08:47,592 --> 00:08:49,475 You're taking a bribe to stay away from me, 223 00:08:49,477 --> 00:08:50,643 but I'm the one defending myself? 224 00:08:50,645 --> 00:08:52,428 I'm not rich, Liam! 225 00:08:52,430 --> 00:08:55,961 I didn't fall asleep in class because I've been studying. 226 00:08:55,996 --> 00:08:58,468 I've been working every catering gig I could get. 227 00:08:58,503 --> 00:09:00,798 And I live in a freaking juice truck! 228 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:03,195 It's so besides the point, it's not even funny. 229 00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:05,525 If you were offered that money to stay away from Amy, 230 00:09:05,527 --> 00:09:08,861 you wouldn't have considered it for one second. 231 00:09:18,701 --> 00:09:21,725 Is he... crying? 232 00:09:23,974 --> 00:09:26,635 You're right. 233 00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:29,887 I'm a terrible person. 234 00:09:29,922 --> 00:09:31,780 I outed you two as lesbians 235 00:09:31,815 --> 00:09:35,305 because I didn't want Lauren to win homecoming queen. 236 00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:39,425 And I outed your pills because I wanted to take you down. 237 00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:41,760 And I outed Duke because... 238 00:09:41,795 --> 00:09:44,313 I wanted to ruin his life. 239 00:09:44,315 --> 00:09:48,256 Instead, he told me he loved me. 240 00:09:48,291 --> 00:09:51,355 And now he hates me. 241 00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,552 And he should. 242 00:09:53,587 --> 00:09:56,698 I hate me. 243 00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:58,661 Shane, man, come on. Ease up. 244 00:09:58,663 --> 00:10:01,326 You did a bad thing, but that doesn't make you a bad person. 245 00:10:01,361 --> 00:10:02,384 I've forgiven you, 246 00:10:02,419 --> 00:10:04,193 and what you did to me was way worse. 247 00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,294 Have you told him that you're sorry? 248 00:10:05,329 --> 00:10:07,086 It's too late. 249 00:10:07,088 --> 00:10:08,269 He leaves in, like, an hour to train 250 00:10:08,304 --> 00:10:10,122 with some famous Muy Thai fighter. 251 00:10:10,157 --> 00:10:11,615 Well, then there's still time! 252 00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:14,055 We're breaking you out of here. 253 00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:16,635 Ready to form Voltron! 254 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,601 The '80s animated show... 255 00:10:20,636 --> 00:10:22,323 Nobody? Really? 256 00:10:29,811 --> 00:10:32,259 Okay, we have one hour until he checks in again. 257 00:10:32,294 --> 00:10:33,620 But he locks the doors on Saturdays. 258 00:10:33,655 --> 00:10:34,997 Maybe we could get a key somehow? 259 00:10:35,032 --> 00:10:36,087 He's got it on his belt. 260 00:10:36,122 --> 00:10:37,287 Oh, what about the bathroom window? 261 00:10:37,322 --> 00:10:38,240 It was open this morning. 262 00:10:38,275 --> 00:10:40,118 The bathroom window? That thing's tiny. 263 00:10:40,153 --> 00:10:42,364 Regretting that jumbo bag of Cheesaritos? 264 00:10:42,399 --> 00:10:44,397 Let's roll. 265 00:10:49,821 --> 00:10:51,988 I did go running today... 266 00:10:54,876 --> 00:10:56,376 How are we gonna get by him? 267 00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:57,432 Pull the fire alarm. 268 00:10:57,467 --> 00:10:59,496 Shane can sneak out in the chaos. 269 00:10:59,498 --> 00:11:01,047 - Ah! - What? 270 00:11:01,049 --> 00:11:02,632 Theo and I were about to get caught, 271 00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:04,300 so I created a distraction. 272 00:11:04,302 --> 00:11:07,087 Didn't know those things spray permanent ink. 273 00:11:07,089 --> 00:11:09,172 That's how you got detention. 274 00:11:09,174 --> 00:11:10,663 - I'll distract Turner. - How? 275 00:11:10,698 --> 00:11:13,176 I know what makes him tick. 276 00:11:13,178 --> 00:11:15,058 - He's my dad. - What? 277 00:11:15,093 --> 00:11:17,128 Yeah, I don't exactly advertise it. 278 00:11:17,163 --> 00:11:19,874 It's not easy being the son of the most-hated man on campus. 279 00:11:19,909 --> 00:11:21,351 No, it's okay. 280 00:11:21,353 --> 00:11:24,575 What happens in detention stays in detention. 281 00:11:24,610 --> 00:11:25,655 - Right? - Right. 282 00:11:25,657 --> 00:11:28,986 Right. 283 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,274 Hey, Dad? 284 00:11:31,309 --> 00:11:32,912 You never call me that at school. 285 00:11:32,914 --> 00:11:34,337 What are you doing here? 286 00:11:34,372 --> 00:11:35,749 Uh... 287 00:11:35,751 --> 00:11:37,572 You remember when you gave me the sex talk 288 00:11:37,607 --> 00:11:39,222 and you said if I had any questions, 289 00:11:39,257 --> 00:11:40,925 I could ask you any time. 290 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,536 Of course. 291 00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:45,125 Why do men have nipples? 292 00:11:45,127 --> 00:11:47,010 Well, that's an excellent question. 293 00:11:47,012 --> 00:11:50,013 See, not many people realize this, 294 00:11:50,015 --> 00:11:53,058 but every embryo begins developing as a female. 295 00:11:53,093 --> 00:11:54,467 We'll never make it in time. 296 00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:57,470 Handled. 297 00:11:57,472 --> 00:11:59,973 Book it, Theo. 298 00:11:59,975 --> 00:12:04,053 And that's why masturbation is perfectly healthy. 299 00:12:04,088 --> 00:12:05,645 Uh, what a relief. 300 00:12:05,647 --> 00:12:07,730 Good. Let's get you back to detention. 301 00:12:07,732 --> 00:12:09,149 Wait, I-I just... 302 00:12:09,151 --> 00:12:11,918 I have a few more questions, like, uh... 303 00:12:11,953 --> 00:12:14,772 Is oral sex really sex? 304 00:12:14,807 --> 00:12:17,040 Or does sex require, um... 305 00:12:20,328 --> 00:12:21,726 I can't believe you stopped at a red. 306 00:12:21,761 --> 00:12:24,164 What kind of granny cop are you? 307 00:12:24,166 --> 00:12:25,521 Can you just turn on the siren? 308 00:12:25,556 --> 00:12:26,775 Look, there are strict regulations 309 00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:28,635 governing the use of the siren. 310 00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:32,222 And, Amy, how can you possibly be carsick? 311 00:12:35,479 --> 00:12:37,177 Stick your head out the window. 312 00:12:37,179 --> 00:12:40,080 Dogs do it all the time and they never barf. 313 00:12:42,901 --> 00:12:45,231 I'm sorry I busted you about the check. 314 00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:47,570 That wasn't cool. 315 00:12:47,572 --> 00:12:49,072 No, I'm sorry. 316 00:12:49,074 --> 00:12:50,356 I was way too harsh about Hank. 317 00:12:50,358 --> 00:12:52,775 It's just, I see how hard it is on you 318 00:12:52,777 --> 00:12:54,024 when he leaves and... 319 00:12:54,059 --> 00:12:56,412 it just makes me a little crazy. 320 00:12:56,414 --> 00:12:58,748 Glad you two made up. We were all so worried. 321 00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:00,700 - Petrified. - This light is taking forever! 322 00:13:00,702 --> 00:13:01,751 I can't take it anymore. 323 00:13:01,753 --> 00:13:03,577 Go, go, go! 324 00:13:03,612 --> 00:13:06,506 I better not lose my job over this. 325 00:13:06,508 --> 00:13:09,514 To some people, fellatio... cunnilingus... 326 00:13:09,549 --> 00:13:12,174 are more intimate than actual penetration, 327 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,620 while to others, 328 00:13:13,655 --> 00:13:17,884 anilingus is the most intimate. 329 00:13:22,891 --> 00:13:24,348 Duke! 330 00:13:24,383 --> 00:13:26,410 I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. 331 00:13:26,445 --> 00:13:27,557 What are you doing here, Shane? 332 00:13:27,592 --> 00:13:29,395 I want to come clean. Please hear me out. 333 00:13:30,532 --> 00:13:31,948 Please don't puke in the car. 334 00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:34,784 I'll find some water. 335 00:13:35,842 --> 00:13:39,822 - Uh... - I need air. 336 00:13:39,824 --> 00:13:41,958 Oh, God... 337 00:13:44,579 --> 00:13:45,712 Okay. 338 00:13:49,251 --> 00:13:50,884 You gonna be okay? 339 00:13:50,886 --> 00:13:52,419 'Cause if you die, I want your room. 340 00:13:52,454 --> 00:13:54,470 And your blow-dryer. 341 00:13:54,472 --> 00:13:56,284 I'm sorry I pressured you to lie. 342 00:13:56,319 --> 00:14:00,143 If you want to tell Bruce, I understand. 343 00:14:00,145 --> 00:14:03,269 As much as I do not forgive Farrah, 344 00:14:03,304 --> 00:14:05,265 I'm not gonna tell Daddy. 345 00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,400 I don't want them to split up either. 346 00:14:07,402 --> 00:14:11,154 This... step-sister thing isn't so bad. 347 00:14:16,644 --> 00:14:18,695 Do you think they'll make it? 348 00:14:18,697 --> 00:14:20,196 I don't know. 349 00:14:20,198 --> 00:14:24,167 It was a pretty big betrayal. 350 00:14:24,169 --> 00:14:25,952 Even if Duke wants to forgive him, 351 00:14:25,954 --> 00:14:29,304 he might not be able to. 352 00:14:29,339 --> 00:14:30,707 Yeah, well, maybe Shane doesn't know 353 00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:32,959 what else he can do. 354 00:14:43,305 --> 00:14:48,274 I wish I didn't have to think about this. 355 00:14:48,276 --> 00:14:51,144 I wish I hadn't given you a reason to. 356 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,850 If I could take it all back, I would. 357 00:14:54,885 --> 00:14:57,734 I'm so, so sorry. 358 00:14:57,736 --> 00:14:59,619 Thank you. 359 00:14:59,621 --> 00:15:02,474 I never thought I'd hear you say you were wrong. 360 00:15:02,509 --> 00:15:03,345 Need to hustle, son. 361 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:06,042 We need to be at the airport in 15 minutes. 362 00:15:06,044 --> 00:15:08,878 What... you're leaving? 363 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,232 But I apologized. 364 00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:12,715 You forgave me. 365 00:15:12,717 --> 00:15:14,884 I said I accepted your apology. 366 00:15:14,886 --> 00:15:16,052 I didn't say I forgive you. 367 00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:18,588 Stay, please. 368 00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:27,563 I can't. 369 00:15:37,595 --> 00:15:39,224 That's enough sex questions for now. 370 00:15:39,259 --> 00:15:40,325 Well, just explain why people 371 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,799 want to have sex with animals. 372 00:15:41,801 --> 00:15:43,133 Dad... 373 00:15:47,723 --> 00:15:49,213 You've completed your detention. 374 00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:50,434 I hope you all learned a little something 375 00:15:50,469 --> 00:15:52,099 about yourselves today. 376 00:15:52,134 --> 00:15:54,561 And I hope I never have to see you here again. 377 00:15:54,596 --> 00:15:55,463 You're dismissed. 378 00:15:57,850 --> 00:15:59,162 * Hey, hey, hey, hey * 379 00:15:59,197 --> 00:16:01,986 So where do we go from here? 380 00:16:01,988 --> 00:16:04,772 Home. It's over. 381 00:16:04,774 --> 00:16:06,863 Remember, what happens in detention... 382 00:16:06,898 --> 00:16:08,742 Stays in detention. Got it. 383 00:16:09,695 --> 00:16:11,002 So... 384 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,497 You're all gonna forget now that I'm going back 385 00:16:12,532 --> 00:16:14,132 in the school to join my dad. 386 00:16:14,167 --> 00:16:17,235 Oh, we'll never forget. 387 00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:18,786 But we won't spill. 388 00:16:18,788 --> 00:16:21,270 * Dancing You know it, baby * 389 00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:24,425 * Tell me your troubles and doubts * 390 00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:25,876 Want a ride home? 391 00:16:25,878 --> 00:16:27,294 No, I'll walk. 392 00:16:27,296 --> 00:16:29,664 Need to burn off a few thousand extra calories. 393 00:16:29,699 --> 00:16:32,683 * Love's strange, so real in the dark * 394 00:16:32,685 --> 00:16:34,552 Are you okay? 395 00:16:34,554 --> 00:16:35,886 Yeah, I'll be fine. 396 00:16:35,888 --> 00:16:37,888 You know, it was a long time coming. 397 00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:39,345 I'm ready for a change, you know? 398 00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,980 New leaf, new page. New haircut. 399 00:16:42,015 --> 00:16:45,309 * When the light gets into your heart, baby * 400 00:16:45,344 --> 00:16:46,546 - You want a ride? - Nah. 401 00:16:46,581 --> 00:16:49,571 I wouldn't want to intrude on father-daughter time. 402 00:16:49,606 --> 00:16:51,295 - Hey, Karma. - Hey, Hank. 403 00:16:51,330 --> 00:16:53,237 Glad to see you weren't kidnapped in Syria. 404 00:16:53,239 --> 00:16:54,737 You believe no one wanted me? 405 00:16:54,772 --> 00:16:57,134 - Bye. - * Don't you * 406 00:16:57,169 --> 00:16:59,209 * Forget about me * 407 00:17:02,644 --> 00:17:06,684 * Will you stand above me? * 408 00:17:06,719 --> 00:17:07,764 * Look my way never love me * 409 00:17:07,799 --> 00:17:09,592 I am so excited to be spending time 410 00:17:09,627 --> 00:17:11,255 with my favorite daughter. 411 00:17:11,257 --> 00:17:12,373 - That you know of. - That I know of. 412 00:17:12,408 --> 00:17:13,699 All right, look. 413 00:17:13,734 --> 00:17:14,850 We've got some options. 414 00:17:14,885 --> 00:17:17,369 There's a new photo show at Yard Dog Gallery 415 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:20,598 or there's a haunted walking tour of downtown. 416 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:21,849 How much time do we have? 417 00:17:21,851 --> 00:17:22,900 All day. 418 00:17:22,902 --> 00:17:23,832 Well, all afternoon. 419 00:17:23,867 --> 00:17:26,020 I gotta fly to Moscow tonight. 420 00:17:26,022 --> 00:17:27,774 - Moscow? - Yeah, new assignment. 421 00:17:27,809 --> 00:17:29,608 * Rain keeps falling down * 422 00:17:31,101 --> 00:17:34,132 Look, Dad... 423 00:17:34,167 --> 00:17:35,916 Your job is cool. I get it. 424 00:17:35,951 --> 00:17:38,113 It's... it's exciting and dangerous, 425 00:17:38,148 --> 00:17:41,001 and it matters. 426 00:17:41,003 --> 00:17:42,369 But I matter, too, 427 00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:44,386 and you can't just keep blowing into my life 428 00:17:44,421 --> 00:17:46,421 and making me hope you're gonna be there for me, 429 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:48,842 and then blow right out. 430 00:17:48,844 --> 00:17:51,531 If you're gonna be my dad, then you have to be my dad, 431 00:17:51,566 --> 00:17:53,797 and not just in between assignments. 432 00:17:53,799 --> 00:17:56,433 * Don't you try to pretend * 433 00:17:56,435 --> 00:18:00,220 * It's my feeling we'll win in the end * 434 00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:03,807 * I won't harm you or touch your defenses * 435 00:18:03,809 --> 00:18:05,976 Amanda. Hey, uh... 436 00:18:05,978 --> 00:18:08,312 Yeah, I-I'm out. 437 00:18:08,314 --> 00:18:11,181 They gotta get somebody else. I want to stay in Austin. 438 00:18:11,183 --> 00:18:13,550 * Don't you forget about me * 439 00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:15,685 * I'll be alone Dancing, you know it, baby * 440 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,272 Gallery first? 441 00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:19,273 Yeah. 442 00:18:19,275 --> 00:18:22,776 * Going to take you apart * 443 00:18:22,778 --> 00:18:24,895 Liam. 444 00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:26,585 * Together at heart, baby * 445 00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:32,504 - * Don't you forget about me * - _ 446 00:18:32,539 --> 00:18:34,839 * Don't, don't, don't, don't * 447 00:18:34,874 --> 00:18:39,910 - * Don't you forget about me * - _ 448 00:18:41,331 --> 00:18:43,936 * As you walk on by... * 449 00:18:48,804 --> 00:18:49,753 Hey. 450 00:18:49,788 --> 00:18:54,258 * Somewhere I could hide * 451 00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:57,292 Can I stay here for a while? 452 00:18:57,327 --> 00:18:58,929 I brought food. 453 00:18:58,931 --> 00:19:01,932 Mi casa es su casa. 454 00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:03,984 But no more eating my feelings. 455 00:19:03,986 --> 00:19:06,270 * It's grilled cheese * 456 00:19:09,992 --> 00:19:12,910 Maybe just a tear or two. 457 00:19:15,581 --> 00:19:19,171 * All my friends * 458 00:19:19,206 --> 00:19:21,052 Hey, what... 459 00:19:21,087 --> 00:19:24,173 Oh, I'm sorry. I made the mistake of 460 00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,694 telling my parents about the breakup, 461 00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:27,257 and now they're smothering me with love 462 00:19:27,259 --> 00:19:29,793 and psychobabble about new beginnings 463 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:31,512 and rising from the ashes and... 464 00:19:33,015 --> 00:19:34,965 Can I have my old room back? 465 00:19:34,967 --> 00:19:36,517 Just for a night. 466 00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:38,469 Please. 467 00:19:38,471 --> 00:19:40,804 Yeah, I'll just... I'll sleep on the couch. 468 00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:47,027 Hey. 469 00:19:47,029 --> 00:19:51,211 Have you ever had your heart broken? 470 00:19:51,246 --> 00:19:53,033 Uh... 471 00:19:53,035 --> 00:19:54,935 Yeah. 472 00:19:54,970 --> 00:19:59,123 When my mom died. 473 00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:00,421 I'm so sorry. 474 00:20:00,456 --> 00:20:03,533 I didn't know. 475 00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:05,162 How'd you get through it? 476 00:20:05,164 --> 00:20:09,833 * All my friends * 477 00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:12,573 * Sitting on the fence * 478 00:20:12,608 --> 00:20:14,671 There's no magic bullet. 479 00:20:18,060 --> 00:20:20,761 You just... 480 00:20:20,763 --> 00:20:22,679 You do it. 481 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,648 One day at a time. 482 00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:30,069 * They'll never rush to my defense * 483 00:20:30,559 --> 00:20:31,414 Next on "Faking It"... 484 00:20:31,449 --> 00:20:32,334 We were hook-up hunters. 485 00:20:32,369 --> 00:20:33,673 And the world was our prey. 486 00:20:33,708 --> 00:20:35,161 - We will start tonight. - Yeah! 487 00:20:35,196 --> 00:20:36,649 I can't believe you haven't told PFLAG 488 00:20:36,684 --> 00:20:37,784 that I'm not a lesbian. 489 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:38,706 It would mean the world to her 490 00:20:38,741 --> 00:20:39,922 if you two would go together. 491 00:20:39,957 --> 00:20:42,189 - Dad, that's insane. - I have boundaries. 492 00:20:42,224 --> 00:20:44,675 No more handholding, no slow dancing. 493 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:45,848 Voila! No feelings! 494 00:20:45,883 --> 00:20:48,156 - Yeah, we'll do it. - Let's be lesbians. 495 00:20:48,191 --> 00:20:49,312 Again. 35575

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