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1
00:00:06,448 --> 00:00:10,123
♪ I would like to leave this city
2
00:00:10,168 --> 00:00:14,844
♪ This old town don't smell
too pretty and
3
00:00:14,888 --> 00:00:18,767
♪ I could feel the warning signs
4
00:00:18,808 --> 00:00:23,836
♪ Running around my mind
5
00:00:23,888 --> 00:00:26,163
♪ So what do you say?
6
00:00:26,208 --> 00:00:30,963
♪ You can't give me the dreams
that are mine anyway
7
00:00:31,008 --> 00:00:34,045
♪ You're half the world away
8
00:00:35,688 --> 00:00:38,521
♪ Half the world away
9
00:00:39,328 --> 00:00:42,320
♪ Half the world away ♪
10
00:00:42,368 --> 00:00:44,165
(Sobbing)
11
00:00:46,528 --> 00:00:47,961
Oh.
12
00:00:48,968 --> 00:00:50,959
(Sniffs and sobs)
13
00:00:52,208 --> 00:00:54,005
(Barbara) Sh.
14
00:00:54,048 --> 00:00:55,800
(Norma) Oh, Barbara.
15
00:00:55,848 --> 00:01:00,046
I've always thought
I'd be the first one to go, you know.
16
00:01:00,088 --> 00:01:02,363
Oh, Mam, come on now.
17
00:01:02,408 --> 00:01:04,126
Come on. Shhh.
18
00:01:04,168 --> 00:01:06,159
It'll be all right.
19
00:01:06,208 --> 00:01:08,199
(Footsteps)
20
00:01:08,248 --> 00:01:10,000
Oh.
21
00:01:10,048 --> 00:01:11,481
Shhh.
22
00:01:18,248 --> 00:01:20,921
(Man on TV) I thought
it would be brilliant practice.
23
00:01:20,968 --> 00:01:24,199
You promised that we'd be alone tonight.
I've waited all day.
24
00:01:24,248 --> 00:01:27,638
Werert they lovely, Barbara,
them vol-au-vents?
25
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:31,840
What was in them? It was a sort of
a mushroomy thing, werert it?
26
00:01:31,888 --> 00:01:33,958
- Mushrooms, Mam.
- Was it?
27
00:01:34,008 --> 00:01:35,839
- Yeah.
- I thought it was.
28
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:38,800
Hey, can I have them when I go,
Barbara?
29
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:43,478
Oh. I thought you wanted melon boats
like we had at Denise's wedding.
30
00:01:43,528 --> 00:01:46,679
Oh, yes, I do, I do, but can I have them
as well, do you think?
31
00:01:46,728 --> 00:01:48,798
- Yeah, course you can.
- Oh.
32
00:01:50,088 --> 00:01:56,436
Oh, do you know? I just feel like I'm all
on my own now without Elsie next door.
33
00:01:56,488 --> 00:01:58,365
God rest her soul.
34
00:02:00,928 --> 00:02:04,523
I used to let myself into her place
with a key, you know,
35
00:02:04,568 --> 00:02:08,959
and perhaps just wipe her mouth
with a cloth or summat.
36
00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:13,040
- Well, it was contact, werert it?
- Yeah.
37
00:02:19,688 --> 00:02:22,760
I wonder what will happen
to Elsie's telly now.
38
00:02:23,968 --> 00:02:26,846
Her telly was two inches
bigger than mine, you know.
39
00:02:26,888 --> 00:02:28,480
Oooh.
40
00:02:28,528 --> 00:02:30,917
And the reds were redder.
41
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:37,638
- Want a brandy, Mam?
- Oh, no, thank you, Barbara.
42
00:02:37,688 --> 00:02:40,885
I can't drink during the day now,
you know.
43
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:43,522
You just had three at Mariors.
44
00:02:43,568 --> 00:02:47,163
Just the one, then,
just for medicinal reasons.
45
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,642
Bloody hell, bloody medicinal reasons.
46
00:02:49,688 --> 00:02:51,599
You better get me one as well, Barb,
47
00:02:51,648 --> 00:02:54,162
otherwise there'll be two deaths
in one day.
48
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:58,201
'Ey, Barbara, did you like that outfit
her daughter was wearing?
49
00:02:58,248 --> 00:03:01,160
- Werert it lovely?
- Yeah.
50
00:03:01,208 --> 00:03:06,202
She's very high up in Northwest Water,
you know, her daughter Marion.
51
00:03:09,408 --> 00:03:12,320
- You know her husband Mickey?
- Yeah.
52
00:03:13,328 --> 00:03:15,319
Oh.
53
00:03:16,008 --> 00:03:17,999
He's got a withered hand.
54
00:03:18,048 --> 00:03:19,720
Ooh.
55
00:03:19,768 --> 00:03:22,441
Elsie couldn't bear him touching food.
56
00:03:22,488 --> 00:03:25,366
(Man on TV)
What does he know anyway?
57
00:03:25,408 --> 00:03:28,684
There's quite a lot
you can get for 300 quid.
58
00:03:36,408 --> 00:03:38,399
Ah, dear.
59
00:03:42,128 --> 00:03:45,837
I always thought I'd be the first to go,
you know, Barbara.
60
00:03:46,808 --> 00:03:49,880
- Life is short, irt it?
- Yeah.
61
00:03:49,928 --> 00:03:52,681
Not short enough for my liking.
62
00:03:52,728 --> 00:03:56,767
Elsie were only 88, you know.
She got all her life ahead of her.
63
00:03:56,808 --> 00:03:59,925
Never wanted for anything, did Elsie.
64
00:03:59,968 --> 00:04:05,088
So long as she had Countdown
and 15 To 1, then that was all right.
65
00:04:06,448 --> 00:04:08,439
(Sniffs)
66
00:04:08,488 --> 00:04:11,924
She had a very quizzical mind,
you know, had Elsie.
67
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,765
- Oh.
- Mm.
68
00:04:13,808 --> 00:04:16,117
Not on the big questions of life,
69
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:22,482
but more like the capital of France,
or currencies, or that sort of thing.
70
00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:23,756
Ah.
71
00:04:25,648 --> 00:04:26,683
Barbara.
72
00:04:26,728 --> 00:04:28,320
(Sobs)
73
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,165
Oh, Mam.
74
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:35,521
Oh, I don't know how I'll be able
to sleep tonight without Elsie.
75
00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:37,798
God rest her soul.
76
00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:39,839
Being next door.
77
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:43,359
(Sobs)
78
00:04:45,888 --> 00:04:48,083
Don't worry, Mam.
79
00:04:48,128 --> 00:04:51,165
There's always Denise's bedroom
there for you, you know.
80
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,199
(Mouths)
81
00:04:54,288 --> 00:04:58,839
Oh, Denise was going to come today,
Mam, right up till the last minute.
82
00:04:58,888 --> 00:05:03,439
Yeah, right until she found out you can't
bloody lie down in the crematorium.
83
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:09,359
I did take one or two perishable things
out of the fridge, Barbara.
84
00:05:09,408 --> 00:05:11,638
- She'd have liked that, you know.
- Yeah.
85
00:05:11,688 --> 00:05:14,998
It was just a... packet of fish fingers,
86
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,801
two chops and er...
87
00:05:17,848 --> 00:05:19,964
six bottles of Guinness.
88
00:05:20,008 --> 00:05:22,442
That's not bloody perishable stuff, that.
89
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:25,719
- You're a bloody old vulture, you.
- Jim!
90
00:05:26,768 --> 00:05:28,406
(Tuts)
91
00:05:29,448 --> 00:05:32,281
'Ey, it's funny, irt it, Barbara,
when you weigh up,
92
00:05:32,328 --> 00:05:35,764
in every cloud there's a silver lining,
isn't there?
93
00:05:35,808 --> 00:05:39,687
You know, I didn't think I'd get
that much wear out of this black cardie.
94
00:05:39,728 --> 00:05:41,719
Ohhh.
95
00:05:43,368 --> 00:05:45,359
Did um...
96
00:05:45,408 --> 00:05:49,162
Did Marion say what they were going
to do with Elsie's clothes, Barbara?
97
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:52,006
No, I'm sure she'll let you have them,
Nan.
98
00:05:52,048 --> 00:05:54,323
Oh, no, no, no.
99
00:05:54,368 --> 00:05:56,598
I wouldn't dream of it.
100
00:05:56,648 --> 00:06:00,277
Mind you, there were one or two nice bits
there from Marks and Spencer's.
101
00:06:00,328 --> 00:06:02,284
(Barbara) Oh.
102
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:06,207
And what would Marion want with them
up at Northwest Water?
103
00:06:06,248 --> 00:06:10,036
All right, Dave, lad.
What took you so bloody long?
104
00:06:10,088 --> 00:06:13,922
Oh, I was putting baby David down.
And then I went on er...
105
00:06:13,968 --> 00:06:16,528
on the... the toilet.
106
00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:20,243
Oh, good lad. Warming the seat
for your old father-in-law, eh?
107
00:06:20,288 --> 00:06:23,325
Jim, Elsie's not even cold.
108
00:06:24,328 --> 00:06:25,920
Barbara.
109
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:28,846
Elsie had a cupboard full of medicines,
you know.
110
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,925
- Oh.
- May she rest in peace.
111
00:06:31,968 --> 00:06:34,641
Do you think
I could have her senna pods?
112
00:06:34,688 --> 00:06:36,167
Yeah.
113
00:06:38,328 --> 00:06:40,319
- Barbara.
- Mm?
114
00:06:40,368 --> 00:06:44,520
Do you think they'll have a collection
for Elsie at the flats?
115
00:06:44,568 --> 00:06:49,005
Oh, yeah, I expect so. They usually do
when somebody passes away.
116
00:06:49,048 --> 00:06:51,881
Oh, I hope it's tonight while I'm here.
117
00:06:59,408 --> 00:07:00,807
(Doorbell)
118
00:07:00,848 --> 00:07:02,839
Get that, love.
119
00:07:08,408 --> 00:07:10,717
(Denise) Hiya. Are you all right?
120
00:07:10,768 --> 00:07:12,759
- Hiya, Cheryl.
- Hiya.
121
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:16,244
Come in. It's our Denise and Cheryl.
122
00:07:16,288 --> 00:07:18,279
Hiya.
123
00:07:18,328 --> 00:07:21,445
(Jim) That's all we bloody need,
Cagney and Lacey.
124
00:07:21,488 --> 00:07:23,479
Hiya.
125
00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:25,519
- Hiya, Cheggers.
- Oh, hello, love.
126
00:07:25,568 --> 00:07:29,447
Nana, I'm really sorry
that your friend Elsie snuffed it.
127
00:07:29,488 --> 00:07:32,798
Oh. It was like losing a limb, love.
128
00:07:32,848 --> 00:07:35,442
Hiya, Nana. Sorry about Elsie.
129
00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:39,807
It was like losing a limb, Cheryl.
130
00:07:44,528 --> 00:07:47,440
Oh, Denise,
did you buy anything in the precinct?
131
00:07:47,488 --> 00:07:48,477
Erm...
132
00:07:48,528 --> 00:07:49,597
No.
133
00:07:49,648 --> 00:07:51,639
Oh.
134
00:07:53,728 --> 00:07:54,763
Cheryl.
135
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,800
Did you buy anything in the precinct?
136
00:07:57,848 --> 00:08:00,408
Just a pound of fudge from Thorntons.
137
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,001
Oh.
138
00:08:10,368 --> 00:08:14,361
Show me love, Chloe, show me love.
Show me love. Show me...
139
00:08:14,408 --> 00:08:16,364
You sad little man.
140
00:08:18,528 --> 00:08:20,120
Don't "Come on, Tone" me.
141
00:08:20,168 --> 00:08:22,398
Oh, David. David.
142
00:08:22,448 --> 00:08:25,008
Will you run me home in a minute?
143
00:08:25,048 --> 00:08:27,642
I thought you were staying here tonight,
Mam.
144
00:08:27,688 --> 00:08:31,363
I am, but I just want to pop into Elsie's
and pick some things up
145
00:08:31,408 --> 00:08:33,797
before Marion comes tomorrow morning.
146
00:08:33,848 --> 00:08:38,444
Bloody hell. She hasn't got more bottles
of Guinness perishing away, has she?
147
00:08:38,488 --> 00:08:43,039
Nana, did Elsie have a copy of
the Radio Times, a recent one?
148
00:08:43,088 --> 00:08:45,443
I don't know.
149
00:08:45,488 --> 00:08:50,039
I'll have a look, but I don't like to root,
you know.
150
00:08:50,088 --> 00:08:54,684
Mam, I really like that set of pans
that Elsie had.
151
00:08:54,728 --> 00:08:58,926
- Oh, I know. Nonstick.
- Oh, are they?
152
00:08:58,968 --> 00:09:01,721
- Aye. Shall I bring them back here?
- Oh, yeah.
153
00:09:01,768 --> 00:09:05,477
Ooh, yeah.
Marion will be awash with pans.
154
00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:08,167
It will help her when she's sorting out.
155
00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:09,846
Yeah.
156
00:09:09,888 --> 00:09:13,403
She's very high up in Northwest Water,
you know.
157
00:09:13,448 --> 00:09:16,804
Did Elsie say
you could have all them things, Norma?
158
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:21,444
Well, she got very confused in the end,
but I don't think she'd mind.
159
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:27,087
It's not the place to ask,
in a hospice, is it?
160
00:09:36,248 --> 00:09:38,523
(Gasps) Oh, David. David.
161
00:09:38,568 --> 00:09:42,959
There might be one or two things
for baby David's farmyard there.
162
00:09:43,008 --> 00:09:44,123
Mm?
163
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:47,638
There's a couple of drawers
I haven't had time to look in yet.
164
00:09:50,928 --> 00:09:52,919
How is baby David?
165
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,357
Oh, yeah. How is baby David?
166
00:09:55,408 --> 00:09:58,605
- Oh, he's all right, yeah. He's upstairs.
- Ah.
167
00:10:00,168 --> 00:10:02,966
(TV) So I hope you have
as much pleasure looking...
168
00:10:03,008 --> 00:10:07,365
Denise. 'Ey, Denise,
you know Elsie's daughter, Marion,
169
00:10:07,408 --> 00:10:10,206
that's where the do was after the funeral,
170
00:10:10,248 --> 00:10:16,687
well, she's got a whole corner unit
full of Capodimonte figurines.
171
00:10:16,728 --> 00:10:18,958
- Really, Nana?
- Yeah.
172
00:10:19,008 --> 00:10:20,805
'Ey, Jim, you know where they live?
173
00:10:20,848 --> 00:10:24,124
In them private houses just near Gatley.
174
00:10:25,368 --> 00:10:28,838
It were a gorgeous home,
gorgeous it was.
175
00:10:29,888 --> 00:10:33,437
You know them lovely curtains?
They were fully lined, Barbara.
176
00:10:33,488 --> 00:10:35,638
- Yeah.
- Denise.
177
00:10:35,688 --> 00:10:37,201
- Yeah?
- Denise.
178
00:10:37,248 --> 00:10:40,558
- Mariors curtains were fully lined.
- Really, Nana?
179
00:10:40,608 --> 00:10:45,079
And she's got an en suite bathroom
with a bidet.
180
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:46,959
Bidet, my arse. (Laughs)
181
00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:49,078
He-hey. Whoo.
182
00:10:54,048 --> 00:10:55,447
(Baby cries)
183
00:11:01,648 --> 00:11:03,639
(Baby chatters)
184
00:11:16,448 --> 00:11:18,439
(Baby continues crying)
185
00:11:20,208 --> 00:11:22,438
(TV) So what's it all about, then?
186
00:11:26,768 --> 00:11:28,759
No, that's pointier, surely.
187
00:11:28,808 --> 00:11:30,799
(Baby grizzles)
188
00:11:43,888 --> 00:11:47,927
If that's all you know about art, you won't
mind if I don't take your criticism.
189
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,959
(Baby cries and chatters)
190
00:12:05,128 --> 00:12:08,040
- Shall I go up and see him?
- Yeah. Yeah.
191
00:12:08,088 --> 00:12:10,841
You're not supposed to let them
stay crying, Cheryl.
192
00:12:17,208 --> 00:12:19,768
(Jim) Don't eat him, will you, Cheryl?
193
00:12:20,968 --> 00:12:22,959
(Dave laughs)
194
00:12:23,688 --> 00:12:26,600
Ah, she's very charismatic,
old Chegsy, isn't she?
195
00:12:41,408 --> 00:12:43,000
(Coughs)
196
00:12:44,088 --> 00:12:45,077
Mam.
197
00:12:50,048 --> 00:12:52,846
Bet you Cheryl's flattened
that bloody stair carpet.
198
00:12:52,888 --> 00:12:56,676
And she never passed any of that
bloody fudge out, the tight-arsed cow.
199
00:12:56,728 --> 00:12:58,605
(Denise) Well, she can't.
200
00:12:58,648 --> 00:13:01,845
- Why not?
- Well, she ate it all on the way home.
201
00:13:01,888 --> 00:13:05,927
I bet she were never out of Thorntons
before she finished the bloody lot off!
202
00:13:05,968 --> 00:13:08,482
Jim, she's only upstairs, she'll hear you.
203
00:13:08,528 --> 00:13:09,927
Well...
204
00:13:11,328 --> 00:13:13,888
Well, are you going to take me, David?
205
00:13:13,928 --> 00:13:17,318
Is it all right if I take you
at the end of this, please, Nana?
206
00:13:17,368 --> 00:13:18,437
Oh, yeah, OK.
207
00:13:18,488 --> 00:13:21,685
I'll just have another brandy, then,
Barbara.
208
00:13:29,608 --> 00:13:32,486
Did you get me them pipe cleaners,
Denise?
209
00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:34,519
Oh, no. There werert any.
210
00:13:35,528 --> 00:13:37,598
- Did you look?
- Yeah.
211
00:13:37,648 --> 00:13:39,604
Where?
212
00:13:39,648 --> 00:13:42,765
- Topshop and Miss Selfridge.
- Bloody hell.
213
00:13:42,808 --> 00:13:46,357
Hey, Sherlock Holmes,
what do you want pipe cleaners for?
214
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:48,364
Are you er...
215
00:13:48,408 --> 00:13:52,367
- Smoking the old pipe?
- (Laughs) No, I'm not smoking a pipe.
216
00:13:52,408 --> 00:13:56,321
For baby David's farmyard,
you know, for the pigs's tails.
217
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:59,758
Dave,
thought you werert having any pigs.
218
00:13:59,808 --> 00:14:02,606
Well, they were hens originally, Barbara,
219
00:14:02,648 --> 00:14:05,481
but I put a bit too much clay on them,
you know.
220
00:14:05,528 --> 00:14:08,440
(Barbara) Oh, Dave.
221
00:14:08,488 --> 00:14:12,083
There was some bacon at Elsie's
I could bring back.
222
00:14:12,128 --> 00:14:14,881
Oh, I don't want
dead old womars bacon.
223
00:14:14,928 --> 00:14:18,000
You didn't mind her bloody Radio Times.
224
00:14:18,048 --> 00:14:20,039
What sort of bacon is it, Mam?
225
00:14:20,088 --> 00:14:22,966
- I think it was streaky.
- Oh.
226
00:14:23,728 --> 00:14:27,801
It were funny with Elsie,
God rest her soul.
227
00:14:28,448 --> 00:14:30,643
She'd eat bacon all day long,
228
00:14:30,688 --> 00:14:32,997
but she'd never touch gammon.
229
00:14:33,048 --> 00:14:34,845
- Oh.
- What do you think to that?
230
00:14:34,888 --> 00:14:37,197
Oh, I love a bit of the old gammo, me.
231
00:14:37,248 --> 00:14:40,081
(Barbara) Oh, I like a bit of gammon.
232
00:14:40,128 --> 00:14:42,881
- Especially with a bit of pineapple.
- Ooh.
233
00:14:42,928 --> 00:14:44,839
- Do you, Barbara?
- Yeah.
234
00:14:44,888 --> 00:14:47,118
I like gammon.
235
00:14:47,168 --> 00:14:49,159
And I like pineapple.
236
00:14:50,168 --> 00:14:53,126
- But I don't like gammon and pineapple.
- (Both) Oh.
237
00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:55,887
I mean, to me that's sweet and sour, that.
238
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:58,886
They're two different meals.
239
00:15:01,288 --> 00:15:03,404
I like gammon and egg.
240
00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:07,321
I like gammon and chips.
241
00:15:09,048 --> 00:15:11,642
- But I quite like...
- Bloody hell, Dave!
242
00:15:11,688 --> 00:15:14,646
All right, we've got the picture
about the bloody gammo.
243
00:15:17,128 --> 00:15:18,720
(Jim) Bloody hell.
244
00:15:19,488 --> 00:15:22,321
(Laughs) Talk of the devil.
245
00:15:25,168 --> 00:15:27,966
- He's gone back off again, Denise.
- Aah.
246
00:15:29,048 --> 00:15:34,361
I don't think he'll go off tonight, Dave.
You've got your work cut out there, son.
247
00:15:34,408 --> 00:15:37,718
- He's so gorgeous.
- (Denise) Yeah.
248
00:15:37,768 --> 00:15:39,998
(Sighs) But it's a full-time job.
249
00:15:44,248 --> 00:15:46,682
Are you erm...
250
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,245
Erm...
251
00:15:51,288 --> 00:15:55,167
- Are you courting yet, Cheryl?
- Stop it, Jim. Course she isn't.
252
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,476
- Oh, it's Antony.
- (Jim) Lurchio.
253
00:16:08,528 --> 00:16:10,519
- Hiya, Ant.
- Oh.
254
00:16:10,568 --> 00:16:12,957
Erm... I'm sorry about Elsie, Nana.
255
00:16:14,648 --> 00:16:17,162
It were like losing a limb, love.
256
00:16:18,128 --> 00:16:21,120
- Are you all right, love?
- Yeah. I'm a bit knackered.
257
00:16:21,168 --> 00:16:24,126
Bloody hell.
How heavy are them Big Issues?
258
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:26,159
(AII laugh)
259
00:16:30,808 --> 00:16:32,799
Seen Emma, Antony?
260
00:16:32,848 --> 00:16:34,327
Yeah.
261
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,404
Have you had a nice time?
262
00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:38,166
Yeah.
263
00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:40,164
Oh.
264
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,039
Is me tea in the oven, Mam?
265
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,760
No.
266
00:16:44,688 --> 00:16:46,644
I'm not doing anybody's tea tonight.
267
00:16:46,688 --> 00:16:47,962
Ooh.
268
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,522
- What?
- We're having... chippy!
269
00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:51,796
(Jim laughs)
270
00:16:51,848 --> 00:16:53,042
Yes.
271
00:16:53,088 --> 00:16:56,922
Get a pen and paper, Antony.
You'll have to write this down. Jim?
272
00:16:56,968 --> 00:16:58,959
Ooh, I'll have me...
273
00:16:59,008 --> 00:17:00,805
Loodle, loodle, loodle.
274
00:17:00,848 --> 00:17:03,521
I'll have fish, chips and mushy peas.
275
00:17:05,128 --> 00:17:06,800
Mam?
276
00:17:06,848 --> 00:17:09,806
Nothing for me, Barbara, not today.
277
00:17:09,848 --> 00:17:13,636
On account of Elsie, God rest her soul.
278
00:17:13,688 --> 00:17:15,918
You had all them vol-au-vents earlier.
279
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:20,917
Oh, yeah. And just a pie and chips
for me, please, Antony.
280
00:17:20,968 --> 00:17:24,324
I can't eat all the chips.
I'll have to share them.
281
00:17:25,448 --> 00:17:28,565
- I'll share them with you.
- Oh, thanks, love.
282
00:17:28,608 --> 00:17:31,042
- Dave, what do you want?
- Eh?
283
00:17:31,928 --> 00:17:34,158
- What do you want?
- What do I want?
284
00:17:34,208 --> 00:17:36,199
Yeah. What do you want
from the chippy?
285
00:17:36,248 --> 00:17:38,716
Oh, I dunno.
What's everyone else having?
286
00:17:38,768 --> 00:17:41,487
We're all having different things, Dave.
287
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,519
What should I have, Denise?
288
00:17:43,568 --> 00:17:46,924
Well, just have what you fancy.
What do you fancy?
289
00:17:47,928 --> 00:17:51,238
- Pudding, chips, peas and gravy.
- Have that, then.
290
00:17:51,288 --> 00:17:55,281
Pudding, chips, peas and gravy, please.
And a tin of erm...
291
00:17:55,328 --> 00:17:56,443
(Tuts)
292
00:17:56,488 --> 00:17:58,877
- Coke.
- No. A tin of er...
293
00:17:58,928 --> 00:18:01,806
- Shandy.
- No. A tin of er...
294
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:03,839
Fanta.
295
00:18:03,888 --> 00:18:06,448
- No. A tin of er...
- Dandelion and burdock.
296
00:18:06,488 --> 00:18:09,127
A tin of dandelion and burdock, please.
297
00:18:11,128 --> 00:18:15,918
Ooh, Antony. Get trays with everything.
I'm not doing any washing up tonight.
298
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:18,436
I'll have fish, chips and mushy peas.
299
00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:21,798
And Antony, get some of those
little white plastic forks.
300
00:18:21,848 --> 00:18:25,318
Don't get any of them bloody white
plastic forks. They're a rip-off.
301
00:18:25,368 --> 00:18:27,518
Get the little wooden ones, they're free.
302
00:18:29,048 --> 00:18:31,039
Having anything, Denise?
303
00:18:31,088 --> 00:18:35,001
Oh, no, ta. We had a Big Mac and chips
on the way back from the precinct.
304
00:18:36,928 --> 00:18:40,045
Just a fish and large chips for me,
please, Antony.
305
00:18:40,088 --> 00:18:42,886
(Jim) I thought you were having
some of Norma's chips.
306
00:18:42,928 --> 00:18:46,637
Oh, yeah. Just small chips and a battered
sausage and a can of Diet Coke.
307
00:18:46,688 --> 00:18:49,043
'Ey, Antony. Ant - Antony.
308
00:18:50,488 --> 00:18:53,127
- Antony, I'll get this.
- Oh, Mam.
309
00:18:53,168 --> 00:18:55,728
Well, Elsie's death has made me think.
310
00:18:55,768 --> 00:19:00,046
If I can't treat my family
while I'm here on earth...
311
00:19:00,088 --> 00:19:03,319
Well, I mean, if I lived here all the time,
312
00:19:03,368 --> 00:19:07,884
- you'd all get treats more often.
- I'll get them, Lurch. Here you are.
313
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,282
Here you are, son.
Hurry up, I'm bloody starving.
314
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:21,400
See if you can get yourself a job
while you're up there.
315
00:19:21,448 --> 00:19:23,564
And don't you get battered. (Laughs)
316
00:19:23,608 --> 00:19:25,599
(Barbara) Oh, Jim.
317
00:19:25,648 --> 00:19:29,038
Well, he's been spending too much
bloody time with Emma, hasn't he?
318
00:19:29,088 --> 00:19:32,398
We had to brew up twice last night
because of his bloody love life.
319
00:19:32,448 --> 00:19:34,916
You mean I had to brew up twice.
320
00:19:34,968 --> 00:19:36,879
Why can't you leave him alone?
321
00:19:36,928 --> 00:19:39,601
Because he's got no bloody sense,
our Wicked Willy.
322
00:19:39,648 --> 00:19:43,926
He'll never have any bloody sense, that
lad, as long as he's got a hole in his arse.
323
00:19:43,968 --> 00:19:47,040
Oh, Jim, willy and arse.
324
00:19:47,088 --> 00:19:49,921
Oh. Good job you know us, Cheryl.
325
00:19:55,048 --> 00:19:57,039
Ooh. Ah.
326
00:19:57,088 --> 00:19:59,079
(# Emmerdale theme tune)
327
00:20:01,048 --> 00:20:03,039
(AII hum Emmerdale theme)
328
00:20:20,048 --> 00:20:21,037
(Changes channel)
329
00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:26,720
Oh, Jim, that were
Elsie rest-in-peace's favourite.
330
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:29,885
- She can't bloody see it now, can she?
- Jim.
331
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:32,317
That's all we've had
all bloody afternoon -
332
00:20:32,368 --> 00:20:34,836
Elsie, Elsie, Elsie rest in bloody peaces.
333
00:20:34,888 --> 00:20:37,846
I've heard more about Elsie today
than when she was alive.
334
00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:39,526
- Jim!
- Ooh.
335
00:20:39,568 --> 00:20:41,479
Come on. She's dead and buried now.
336
00:20:41,528 --> 00:20:43,883
- Cremated.
- Dead and bloody cremated.
337
00:20:43,928 --> 00:20:47,159
Dad, Elsie was Nana's best friend.
338
00:20:47,208 --> 00:20:48,926
Best friend, my arse.
339
00:20:48,968 --> 00:20:53,803
Jim, I don't believe you sometimes.
You've got no sympathy in you at all.
340
00:20:53,848 --> 00:20:56,567
All she done when she was alive
was bloody slag her.
341
00:20:56,608 --> 00:20:58,519
I never slagged Elsie!
342
00:20:58,568 --> 00:21:01,207
Remember that time
you slagged her bloody rotten
343
00:21:01,248 --> 00:21:04,718
- because she forgot your birthday.
- I never forgot hers!
344
00:21:08,928 --> 00:21:12,159
(Norma) Oh. She never did him any harm.
345
00:21:12,208 --> 00:21:15,405
- No.
- He'd be happy to eat her bacon.
346
00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:16,801
Yeah. Jim.
347
00:21:16,848 --> 00:21:18,839
Just drop it now.
348
00:21:18,888 --> 00:21:22,961
Elsie this, Elsie that, she's just angling
to bloody move in here, aren't you?
349
00:21:23,008 --> 00:21:28,162
I'll tell you what, I'll bet you were bloody
delighted when Elsie bloody croaked.
350
00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:33,566
(TV)... on the beach. And it has quite
a reputation for lobster, crayfish,
351
00:21:33,608 --> 00:21:38,079
the kind of thing written up
in New York Times, the Chicago Tribune.
352
00:21:38,128 --> 00:21:43,122
It doesn't look great, does it?
That's because two earlier restaurants...
353
00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:45,728
Antony's been a long time at the chippy.
354
00:21:47,768 --> 00:21:50,680
Dad, you're horrible, you.
You've got no compassion.
355
00:21:50,728 --> 00:21:55,006
What about you with them bloody
feathers in your hair? They look horrible.
356
00:21:55,048 --> 00:21:58,677
Dad, actually I think
you'll find they're really nice, actually.
357
00:21:58,728 --> 00:22:01,083
- I don't think they are.
- Dave!
358
00:22:01,128 --> 00:22:03,517
Correct, David.
359
00:22:03,568 --> 00:22:05,240
Dad!
360
00:22:06,288 --> 00:22:11,316
I can't believe it. It never crossed
my mind that I might move in here.
361
00:22:11,368 --> 00:22:14,997
(TV)... and that flavour
you get from the centre of a beach...
362
00:22:15,048 --> 00:22:18,324
Well, I am the only elderly lady
living in the flats.
363
00:22:19,928 --> 00:22:21,725
And you have got a spare room here.
364
00:22:23,088 --> 00:22:27,161
It never crossed my mind, Barbara.
It didn't, it didn't, Barbara.
365
00:22:27,208 --> 00:22:29,324
(Barbara) No.
366
00:22:29,368 --> 00:22:33,202
- Denise, get your nana another brandy.
- (Norma) Oh, ta.
367
00:22:33,248 --> 00:22:36,684
Cheryl, can you get Nana the brandy?
368
00:22:36,728 --> 00:22:38,320
Yeah.
369
00:22:39,328 --> 00:22:41,080
Bring the bloody bottle, Cheryl.
370
00:22:41,128 --> 00:22:44,518
She's supped Elsie out of house and
home, she may as well start on us.
371
00:22:44,568 --> 00:22:49,596
May God forgive you, Jim Royle,
for speaking ill of the dead like that.
372
00:22:49,648 --> 00:22:53,243
I wasrt speaking ill of the dead,
I was speaking about you,
373
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,677
- the living bloody dead.
- (Gasps)
374
00:23:01,688 --> 00:23:03,485
There you go, Nana.
375
00:23:03,528 --> 00:23:05,519
Oh, thanks, love.
376
00:23:05,568 --> 00:23:07,638
It's just medicinal, you know.
377
00:23:19,568 --> 00:23:21,559
Thanks, love.
378
00:23:25,368 --> 00:23:27,359
(Phone)
379
00:23:28,168 --> 00:23:31,604
(TV)... by the neighbouring island
of St Martirs,
380
00:23:31,648 --> 00:23:36,517
which is only about a 15-minute
ferry hop across the sea.
381
00:23:37,968 --> 00:23:39,799
I'll get it.
382
00:23:39,848 --> 00:23:40,837
(Sighs)
383
00:23:41,928 --> 00:23:42,963
Hello.
384
00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:46,801
Oh, hiya, love. Are you all right?
385
00:23:47,888 --> 00:23:48,877
Yeah.
386
00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:53,125
(Laughs) It's Antony on his mobile.
387
00:23:54,448 --> 00:23:56,439
Yeah. Oh.
388
00:23:59,008 --> 00:24:00,999
Oh, no.
389
00:24:02,008 --> 00:24:03,202
Oh.
390
00:24:03,248 --> 00:24:06,001
There's no Diet Coke, Cheryl.
391
00:24:06,048 --> 00:24:08,482
There's Diet Fanta or Diet 7UP.
392
00:24:08,528 --> 00:24:12,441
Oh, well. I'll just have normal Coke, then,
and start again tomorrow.
393
00:24:12,488 --> 00:24:16,083
Right. Just get her a normal Coke,
then, Ant.
394
00:24:16,128 --> 00:24:17,686
Yeah.
395
00:24:17,728 --> 00:24:19,286
Bye.
396
00:24:19,328 --> 00:24:21,319
Bye.
397
00:24:22,608 --> 00:24:23,723
Aah.
398
00:24:23,768 --> 00:24:28,000
(TV)... impress the other dinner guests
with stories of my bravado in the wild.
399
00:24:29,368 --> 00:24:33,361
- Has he only just ordered, Barbara?
- Oh. Oh, yeah.
400
00:24:33,408 --> 00:24:36,445
Ah, he won't be long, Cheryl.
Don't worry, love.
401
00:24:39,368 --> 00:24:43,520
Dave, after them chips, do you fancy
a quick drink down at The Feathers?
402
00:24:43,568 --> 00:24:47,800
You're not having a quick one tonight,
Jim, you had a drink last night.
403
00:24:47,848 --> 00:24:50,123
Sod this. I'm off for a chat with the Arabs.
404
00:24:51,008 --> 00:24:53,602
- (Barbara) What do you mean, Jim?
- Mustapha crap.
405
00:24:53,648 --> 00:24:55,639
(Laughs)
406
00:24:55,688 --> 00:24:57,679
- Must have a crap.
- Oh.
407
00:24:57,728 --> 00:25:00,037
- Oh, Jim.
- Are you having that, David?
408
00:25:00,088 --> 00:25:02,079
Good one, James.
409
00:25:06,128 --> 00:25:08,722
Nana, take no notice of him.
410
00:25:08,768 --> 00:25:12,681
Oh, I don't, love.
It's in one ear and out the other.
411
00:25:14,008 --> 00:25:17,842
He doesn't respect the dead, Denise,
that's his trouble.
412
00:25:17,888 --> 00:25:20,527
He does really, Mam.
413
00:25:20,568 --> 00:25:22,559
Take no notice.
414
00:25:24,928 --> 00:25:26,520
(Moaning)
415
00:25:32,288 --> 00:25:34,324
(Jim) Is anybody there?
416
00:25:34,368 --> 00:25:39,078
It's Elsie. May I rest in peace?
417
00:25:42,048 --> 00:25:45,245
Call yourself a friend, Norma?
418
00:25:45,288 --> 00:25:48,564
Leave my stuff alone,
you robbing old git!
419
00:25:49,848 --> 00:25:52,237
♪ So what do you say?
420
00:25:52,288 --> 00:25:56,998
♪ You can't give me the dreams
that are mine anyway
421
00:25:57,048 --> 00:26:00,404
♪ You're half the world away
422
00:26:01,368 --> 00:26:04,440
♪ Half the world away
423
00:26:05,488 --> 00:26:08,685
♪ Half the world away
424
00:26:08,728 --> 00:26:14,166
♪ I've been lost, I've been found,
but I don't feel down
425
00:26:15,208 --> 00:26:18,598
♪ No, I don't feel down
426
00:26:19,248 --> 00:26:22,718
♪ No, I don't feel down ♪
32488
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