All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E19.Now.You.See.It.Now.You.Dont.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

(soft music)

- [Martin] Tim. Tim!

Tim. Tim.
(groaning)

Up, boy, up, up, up.

- Oh, go away and come on, now.

I'm exhausted.

I'm beat.

Pooped.

- Tim.
(startled reaction)

Tim.

Tim. Tim!
(groaning)

It's your day off.

(startled reaction)

- What's the idea letting
me sleep in all day?

(yawns)

- Amazing how much energy
you earth people have

when you're not working.

- Now don't tell me all
you Martians love to work.

- Absolutely.

But then of course, we do
have a five-day weekend.

- The way I play
it, golf is work.

- Well, forget golf.

Today, we're going to
commune with beauty.

- Oh, I'm for that.

Who is she?

- You and I are
going to the museum.

- The museum?

- You said that as though
you were swallowing vinegar.

- But it's not
that, Uncle Martin.

It's just that I don't happen
to be particularly partial

to collections of old bones
and broken down crockery.

- It isn't age that makes
them important, Tim.

It's the fact that they
withstood the test of time.

Voices from the past
have lessons for us

if we have ears to listen.

- I hear them.

And you know what
they're saying?

- What?

- "Go back to bed."

Tricky, aren't you?

(eerie music)

(beeping)

(beeping)

(upbeat music)

(regal music)

Hm. 18th century Ivy League.

- Tim, culture is like spinach.

Once you forget
it's good for you,

you can relax and enjoy it.

Feast your eyes.

Rembrandt's The Night Watch.

- Not bad.

- Not bad?

It's a masterpiece.

All except the lower
left-hand corner.

I told Remy he had too much
burnt sienna on his palette.

- You told Rembrandt?

- You forget I'm 450 years old

and that I've visited this
planet many times before.

- Yes, but you talk as though

you were looking over
Rembrandt's shoulder

when he did that.

- That would have
been impossible.

(mysterious music)

- Huh.

- I would've been in the center,

but I came late that day.

- Martin, from now
on, if you tell me

you posed for the Mona
Lisa, I'll believe it.

- Of course I didn't
pose for the Mona Lisa,

but I did tell her the
joke that made her smile.

- Hey, could you tell me?

You see, I have a date
tomorrow night that

- That's strange.

I'm getting the most
turbulent thought waves.

Someone around here
is very unhappy.

- Yeah, that's me.

I want to get out of here.

- No, it's that man over there.

- Well, he looks
perfectly normal to me.

- On the outside.

Inside, his brain is going
like a boiler factory.

Hm, very interesting.

- Oh, come on now, Uncle Martin.

You know it's not polite
to enter people's heads

without knocking.

What was he thinking?

- He was moving so fast I
couldn't zero in on him.

But I did get this:

He's curator of the museum.

- Yes?

- And he's concerned
about something he's done.

Something involving the museum.

- Well, is it very serious?

- Serious?

His thoughtwaves
were coming through

at 49 cephala cycles.

Anything over 30
is panic button.

I have a feeling
there's a story here

for your newspaper.

(intriguing music)

(knocking on door)

- Come in.

- Mr. Canfield?

I'm Martin O'Hara.

- How do you do?

- I've come to compliment
you on your exhibit.

- Oh, thank you.

Won't you sit down?

- Thank you.

- I've been curator
here 30 years,

and frankly this doesn't
happen very often.

- 30 years.

My, you've spent a great
part of your life here.

- Yes, I have.

In fact, some of my
friends think I'm so old

I ought to be on
display here myself.

(laughing)

- Mr. Canfield, with
your permission,

I'd like to sketch your face.

The character lines intrigue me.

- Oh, (laughs) you're
very kind for that.

I only think of them
as wrinkles myself.

However, if you insist.

(mysterious music)

- Mr. Canfield, relax
and think of something.

Anything at all, the first
thing that comes to mind.

(mysterious music)

There you are.

Thank you very much.

I'm sorry I took so
much of your time.

(door shuts)

- Well.

If I didn't know better,
I'd swear this has been done

by a pupil of

Rembrandt.

(phone rings)

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mr. Bromley.

How nice to speak to the
chairman of the board.

You did what?

He said that?

He's doing that.

- Well sir now, how do
you like that Cleopatra?

- Oh, very nice.

But somehow I prefer
her on a wide screen.

- I'm not in that one.

- Oh, oh, listen.

What was wrong with the curator?

Did he have moths
in his mummies?

- He bought a very rare
piece of Egyptian art

for $50,000 dollars.

Over 4,000 years old.

- I had a used car
like that once.

- Even I haven't ever
seen this piece of art.

It's the work of
Menhoptic the Younger.

- What team did he play for?

- He was the royal sculptor
to Queen Nefertiti.

I suggest you call
your boss and tell him

to hold space for a scoop.

- My motto: Never
argue with a Martian.

Be right back.

- Matt, don't uncover that new
piece until you hear from me.

- Oh, is there anything
wrong, Mr. Canfield?

- Yes, I've just had
a call from the board.

They must think I'm slipping.

Or getting too old.

- Well, I told Mr. Burns
that I had a yarn coming up.

- Why that's
downright humiliating.

- Uncle Martin?

Do you, do you hear
something that I don't?

- Poor Mr. Canfield.

The chairman of the
board is bringing in

an outside expert
for another opinion

on his new acquisition.

- Well, that's great.

That adds a little
drama to the story.

- No, I'm afraid you
couldn't print that, Tim.

If Mr. Canfield is wrong,

we'd be holding him
up to public ridicule.

- Oh yeah, I guess you're right.

- I'm sorry.

I know I promised you,

but until Mr. Expert
authenticates the piece,

we'll have to hold up the story.

- Sorry, gentlemen,
but it's closing time.

- Well, there's something
we still have to see.

- I'm sorry, but
Saturday we close at 2.

(casual music)

- Now, Uncle Martin, look.

If I'm going to write a story,
I have to see the statue.

- I'm way ahead of you.

Keep that guard
away from the door.

- Well, how?

(mysterious music)

(door knocks)

- Yes?

(stammers)

- May I speak to you
for a minute, please?

I just wanted to say that I

I'll see you tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?

- Matt, do you know what
the board are doing?

- No.

- Just because I didn't
get an outside opinion,

they're calling in an expert
to check on my judgment.

How old does a man have to
get before people realize

he knows what he's doing?

- Well, it's just a
technicality, Mr. Canfield.

I wouldn't worry.

- But above all
people in the world,

why should they call in
a man like Pietro Donati

to examine the statue?

(mumbling)

What's the matter?
Something wrong?

- No, nothing.

- I once wrote a scathing
article about Donati

and proved him wrong.

You know, Matt, I
don't want to boast

but I'm just as much
an expert as he is.

What's the matter with you?

Is there something wrong?

- No, no, nothing,
nothing really.

- Matt, I think you
should see a doctor.

- Yes, maybe I should.

(suspenseful music)

(yawns)

- Well, what was under
the drape, leg man?

- Well, as an ancient
philosopher once put it

- Oh no, when you start
quoting ancient philosophers,

I'm dead.

You goofed.

- A rather inelegant
way to put it.

I prefer to think that I, uh...

Okay, I goofed. I'm sorry.

But every time I went
to look under the drape

to look at the statue,

that guard was staring at
it like a house detective

at a beauty contest.

(mysterious music)

- No, don't leave.

I forgive you.

- Thank you. I'll stay.

(humorous music)

(laughing)

- That's right, Mr. Burns.

I thought I had a
story, but I'm afraid

it conked out on me.

Well, I knew you'd understand.

Well, you just keep
the presses rolling

and I'll see you tomorrow.

- Now try it with your
hand off the button.

- I'm only brave on dry runs.

- If I hadn't said I'd
get you that story.

- Uncle Martin, I
have no complaints.

After all the times
that you've helped me?

- Why didn't I think of it?

There is a way of
seeing under that cloth.

There's an old Martian saying:

"If the mountain won't
come to Mohammed,

"Mohammed can go
to the mountain."

- An old Martian saying?

The next thing
you'll be telling me

is that you invented
the hot dog.

- No, but we invented
the mustard and the bun.

With my powers, why can't I

- Of course!

You could float
the thing over here

and then we could
take a picture of it.

- And if it's authentic,
you've got your story

and Mr. Canfield's
a recognized expert.

- Well, it's all yours.

Now come on.

Fidget the digit.

- It's not that simple.

There's a little
matter of distance.

- Well, let's get going.

Come on, I'll drive
you to the mountain.

- Now, when I get the
guard to open the door,

you keep him occupied
while I slip inside.

- All right.

Start slipping.

(mysterious music)

(door knocks)

- Hello?

- Could you open the door?

I'd like to talk to you.

- We don't open
the doors at night.

What do you want?

- Well, I just
wanted to remind you

that I'll see you tomorrow.

(mysterious music)

- Well, couldn't you get
through that peephole?

- Tim, even invisible,
I'm a grown Martian,

not Tom Thumb.

- Well, maybe there's a
window open somewhere.

- Well, let's see.

Closed tighter than a drum.

- Boy, am I sweating
out this story.

- That's an
excellent suggestion.

- Well, thanks.

What'd I say?

- The perfect Earth response.

It's when you people don't
try that you're at your best.

- If you're trying to
confuse me, you win.

- I'm going to get that
guard to sweat it out, too.

All I have to do is levitate
the thermostat up to hot.

Then he's bound to open
the window for some air,

and when he does, zingo.

I levitate the statue
out of the window.

- Well, why don't you
just open the window and

- And bring on the police?

There's a burglar
alarm on each window.

I'll have to get the
guard to turn them off.

- Boy, I sure get
great ideas, don't I?

- Only when you don't try.

Now, let's see, the window
to the Egyptian room

is over there.

All right.

Standby for Operation Heatwave.

(mysterious music)

I wish I had a dozen of these.

- I wish I had one.

(mysterious music)

- I'm going home, Matt.

Good night.

(stammering)

What's the matter, Matt?

- The statue! It's gone!

- Gone?

- It flew out the window!

- Oh no, you're just
tired, that's what it is.

It's natural for men of our age.

But maybe you dozed off and
walked in your sleep, hm?

Perhaps you took it to some
other part of the building?

- Maybe, yeah.

Then maybe that's what happened.

Sure.

Statues don't fly.

- Of course they don't.

Let's go have a look.

(suspenseful music)

(camera shutter clicks)

- Over 4,000 years old.

- Hm, in better shape
than my cousin Fred.

And he's only 60.

- Please be serious.

You're in the presence
of a genuine Menhoptic.

I wish you could appreciate
how excited Menhoptic was

about doing the statue.

- You knew him?

Yet I thought you said you'd
never seen the statue before.

- I didn't,

but I read Menhoptic's
mind over 4,000 years ago

when he was first thinking
of doing the piece.

- I also thought you said
you were only 450 years old.

- 450 Martian years.

Each year consisting
of 300 weeks,

each week made up of 8,672 days.

- Must be murder when relatives
drop in for a weekend.

- A man has to be
pretty fast with a fork.

(funny music)

- Uh-oh. Trouble.

The window's closed.

And I don't think they'll fall

for that thermostat trick again.

- Hm, well, why don't
we just, you know,

leave it in front
and run like bunnies.

- It is my responsibility
to get that statue

right back on that pedestal
where I took it from.

- Oh, well, I suppose
you're just gonna knock

on the front door,

and then when that
guard opens the peephole

Did I say something
brilliant again?

- You're great
when you don't try?

- Was I saying?

- We're going to
knock on the door.

- But they don't open
the front door at night.

- Not even if they
see Menhoptic's statue

sitting out front?

(mysterious music)

(door knocks)

- Who's out

(mysterious music)

- Mission accomplished?

- Not yet.

There's a hallway
and a big statue

between the gate
and the pedestal.

(rubs hands)

(mysterious music)

- Police department?

This is Mr. Canfield.

- It's back!

- Please, John, please.

What's back?

- The statue! It's back!

There it is. It
flew right in the

door.

- I think you're
due for a vacation.

Long one.

When the board hears this,
maybe I join you both.

- Matt.
- Huh?

- Matt.
- Huh?

- Do you see what I see?

- I sure do.

- Mr. Canfield!

- Let's go.
- Nah-uh.

Not until I get it
back on the pedestal

where it came from.

We Martians like to be neat.

(mysterious music)

- This time it's really back!

- That's right. I saw it, too.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, sir!
- Yes, sir!

- Went right in the museum!

- We saw it with our own eyes.

- Come on.
- Come on, Mr. Canfield.

- It's right here. Um...

- Sit down, friends, sit down.

Well, it's the end of the trail.

- Don't try to kid me.

You're not there.

Maybe you think you
are, but you're not.

- Oh, Matt, now he's
talking to himself.

Dear old Matt, please don't.

I, I

It's back!

It's back!

- Please, Mr. Canfield,
don't you start that.

One of us is enough.

- There you are.

(laughing)

- You know, I was just thinking.

- What?

- Well, if you can't be
brainy, the next best thing

is to have a Martian uncle.

(suspenseful music)

- Ra, Ra.

- What's up?

- Ra.

- In the middle of the night,
you turn into a cheerleader?

- No, no, no. Not
that kind of Ra.

My Ra is spelled R-A.

- Oh, well, (yawns)
you're a great speller.

Goodnight, Uncle Martin.

- Tim, Ra is the symbol
for the Egyptian sun god.

Menhoptic chiseled it on
everything he produced.

- What do you want me to do,
send him a thank-you note?

- When we had the statue here,

I was so thrilled at seeing it,

but I forgot to look
for the Ra sign.

If that sign isn't on
the statue somewhere,

it's not the real thing.

- And then Mr. Canfield's
job is in danger?

- Exactly.

That poor man.

Well, I'll think of something.

Let's go back to bed.

- Rah-rah.

- I think you're
worrying about nothing.

This Mr. Donati probably
never even read your article

showed him up to be a boob.

- I hope so.

- There he is.

- Hm?

Ah, Mr. Donati.

What a great pleasure it
is to be in the presence

of such a great expert.

- That is not what you
wrote in that article

years ago, my friend.

- What article?

- Now, where is this
so-called Menhoptic?

- Not so-called.

The real thing.

Here it is.

(mysterious music)

- Mr. Canfield, you have
been, how do you say,

took.

- But, it must be a Menhoptic.

It was found in the
tomb of Nefertiti.

And the chisel strokes
and the subject matter

all absolutely characteristic.

- True, it has everything,
except the most important.

The symbol of Ra.

- Ah yes, I knew that.

But, my heart tells me

- Think with your
head, my friend.

Not your heart.

- Some expert. Hmph.

- I beg your pardon?

- You wouldn't know
a genuine Menhoptic

from a clay pigeon in
a shooting gallery.

- You are talking to Donati, who

- Who forgot to scrape
under the left wing

to look for the sign of Ra.

- I did look.

- There was no
- But you didn't scrape.

- Centuries of burial
leave a residue

that may have
covered the symbol.

- Hm.

(scrapes)

(exclaims in foreign language)

- Monsieur Canfield,
Monsieur Canfield.

The mark of Ra, she is there.

- She is?

I mean, it is?

- Right here.

(laughing)

- I knew it was genuine!

I couldn't find the sign.

- Neither could I
until he told me.

- He? Who?

- He, him.

But he was just there.

- Nobody could've been there.

The doors were locked
with a guard outside.

- But I spoke with him.

He had blonde hair and

The door is locked?

- Yes, sir.

- Oh, I must be getting old.

- Don't let that
bother you, sir.

You're only as old as you feel.

- As young as you
feel, you mean.

(happy music)

- Now how about that?

Two full columns

and a byline.

- We did yourself proud, my boy.

(telephone rings)

- Hello?

Well, thanks, Mr. Burns.

I'm glad you liked it.

What?

I am?

Well, that's just great.

(scoffs) Thanks, Mr. Burns.

- Well, if liked it,
why the prune face?

- He liked it so much
he just appointed me

special culture editor.

You know what my first
assignment is, right now?

- What?

- I've got to cover the opera.

(clears throat)

- Um, Tim?

(mysterious music)

There you are.

- Thanks.

(happy music)

(upbeat music)