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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:06,105 (sheep bleating) 2 00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,074 So this is Regus. 3 00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:11,776 He had a torrid love affair with Cecilia. 4 00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:16,179 But don't tell Jeanine, 'cause she doesn't know yet. 5 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,183 Um, I know what you're thinking. 6 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,385 These two ducks, a mallard and a blue bill. 7 00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:24,458 Yeah, the sex was crazy. 8 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,658 Lonely? 9 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:30,059 Uh, no, no. Not at all. 10 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:33,334 To be honest, someone else around here would really just 11 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,073 you know, get in the way. 12 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:40,670 This is Lois. She's deeply entrenched in a pyramid scheme. 13 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:44,084 So yeah, I just, uh... I really, honestly, I got things 14 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:47,548 set up pretty much exactly the way I want them. 15 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,978 Just by myself. 16 00:00:54,421 --> 00:01:04,531 ♪ 17 00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:13,138 Registration packet for the competition 18 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,740 is usually here by now. 19 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,911 It's got to arrive today! 20 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:22,212 I'm not gonna get screwed by a technicality. 21 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,846 It's not exactly rocket science, 22 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,592 organizing a carving competition. 23 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,118 (sighing) 24 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,993 (car approaching) 25 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,527 About damn time. 26 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:45,804 What? 27 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,437 God damn it! 28 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,351 There's something fishy going on. 29 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,948 And I'm going to get to the bottom of it. 30 00:01:56,951 --> 00:02:00,621 No one jerks around Frank Brunswick. 31 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:09,899 ♪ 32 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,497 So, how's she float? 33 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:12,898 Float? 34 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,700 Yeah, how's she sit in the water? 35 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,971 - It has to float? - Yes, it has to float. 36 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,741 I didn't think it needed to do that. 37 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,969 "Floating decorative." What did you think it meant? 38 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,235 To be honest, the rule book is pretty dense. 39 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:23,342 I didn't really read it. 40 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,184 Well, loons are special, because unlike ducks, 41 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,110 their bones are solid, not hollow. 42 00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:31,084 So they always sit a little lower in the water. 43 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,524 Getting that precise, that's a challenge. 44 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,990 (sighing) 45 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:39,860 I don't know, Rhett. That sounds like a lot more work. 46 00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:43,525 I think I bit off more than I can chew. 47 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,460 Hey. Don't sweat it. 48 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,126 Sometimes you get lucky 49 00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,704 and they sit low enough in the water straight away. 50 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,872 - Yeah? - Yeah, she's a beaut. 51 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:03,217 Are you wearing a denim shirt, and a denim jacket, 52 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,817 and a denim kerchief? 53 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,218 That's a lot of denim, honey. 54 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,950 The judges care about presentation. 55 00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,294 I think you're probably overthinking this. 56 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:14,330 My name is Amandeep Singh, and I present to you, the judges. 57 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,858 I'm judging. 58 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:20,501 The blue bill. 59 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:21,931 Tah-dah! 60 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:26,603 Why-- why isn't he-- it yellow? 61 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:27,766 Yellow? 62 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,305 Huh? Like a bath time ducky ducky? 63 00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:32,709 It is not that kind of "quack quack" ducky ducky, man! 64 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,253 That's all it is? 65 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,278 Not by a longshot. 66 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:39,253 Ladies and gentlemen, the blue bill. 67 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,856 Oh... 68 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,331 Is it supposed to do that? 69 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,660 - Oh no. - It looks sick. 70 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,865 No... no, my life is over. 71 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:57,497 - (sobbing) - Amu, no. 72 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,374 It's supposed to float! 73 00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,373 Aw, don't worry so much, hm? 74 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:05,875 I'm sure you can put some little duck floaters on it, 75 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,779 - you know? Like those... - What? 76 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,781 Wrap it in a noodle. 77 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:17,164 100%? 78 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:20,787 This is critical to our event. 79 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,604 Great, thank you very much for your professionalism, Griffin. 80 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,796 And that is a green light on using their kitchenette! 81 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,772 Boy, that could have gotten ugly. 82 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,271 Oh, tell me about it! 83 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,972 You know, sometimes I think it would be easier 84 00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,944 to put a man on the moon than to organize this competition. 85 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,084 - Amen. - (knocking at door) 86 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,249 Oh. 87 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,122 Oh, Frank? 88 00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:45,978 Great to see you unannounced. 89 00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:48,715 Save it. What are you playing at, Barb? 90 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,792 - Pardon me? - I haven't received 91 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,461 my registration packet in the mail yet! 92 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,600 I don't much appreciate this cloak and dagger act. 93 00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,197 What's going on? 94 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:02,468 Oh, Frank, no. We've gone online this year. We're paperless. 95 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,669 Where's your phone? 96 00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,770 My phone? 97 00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:08,272 My phone's at my house, plugged into the wall. 98 00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:09,735 Right. 99 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,943 Well, uh, why don't you come on in 100 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,346 and I'll show you how to register. 101 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:17,817 Well, it's the least you could do, I think. 102 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,618 Nice to see you, Frank. 103 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,020 Frank: Yeah. 104 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:24,757 Barb: Here's my tablet. 105 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,858 You can take a look at that if you want. 106 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:31,700 (loud classical music playing) 107 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,868 (laughing maniacally) 108 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,698 Who are you? 109 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,144 No! 110 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:46,379 ♪ 111 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,980 Who are you?! 112 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,851 A merganser? 113 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,379 A pintail?! 114 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,646 American wigeon? 115 00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,464 Canvasback?! 116 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:59,357 A Northern shoveler? 117 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,989 (sobbing) 118 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,256 Show yourself! 119 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,326 ♪ 120 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:10,795 (knocking at door) 121 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,610 Everything okay in here? 122 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,981 Got a, uh, noise complaint. 123 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:23,680 No, everything's not okay, officer. 124 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:27,594 I have... 125 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:28,987 Carver's block. 126 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,858 You try yelling at it? 127 00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:45,270 - In the tub! - Whoa, Rhett! 128 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,242 Float, check. Sorry, Marge. 129 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,740 There's nothing in there I haven't seen before. 130 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,784 I got this, okay. Let me handle it. 131 00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:57,779 Uh, babe, we are just wondering if you might see where 132 00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,454 the water line is when it floats. 133 00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,722 - Margaret: Are you serious? - Very. 134 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:04,261 Rhett, Rhett... 135 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,487 Babe? 136 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,902 Margaret: Barely breaks the surface. 137 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,341 Thank you, useful information. 138 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:22,769 Did I, uh, mention you're beautiful? 139 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,481 What kind of a duck sinks? 140 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,120 Stupid, stupid, stupid! 141 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,760 There is so much of this crap. 142 00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:42,889 Just to make it edible, you have to add a lot of spices. 143 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,896 But he insists on eating Canadian cuisine 144 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,229 when he's in training. 145 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:50,544 I just want to get rid of it. 146 00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:04,515 You can still see it, can't you? 147 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,052 I'll have to bury it. 148 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,389 Skipping straight ahead to our golden years 149 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,655 is not what I had in mind. 150 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:22,004 He acts like a retiree and he's not even thirty. 151 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,042 Is that healthy? 152 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:29,313 No... he doesn't engage with the world. 153 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,409 Certainly not our relationship. 154 00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:32,941 No. 155 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,606 You know, I will tell you this much. 156 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,576 I am not going to that competition. 157 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,394 Not hungry. 158 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,496 You have to eat something, hm? You've been carving all day. 159 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,407 Not bad. 160 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,306 Not bad at all. 161 00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:08,052 It's fusion. 162 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,449 The best of both worlds. 163 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,222 Fusion. 164 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,059 Hey, can you get me some chutney? 165 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,531 Simran: Look right next to you. 166 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:24,730 Oh, she's right. 167 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,071 At least get me a spoon. 168 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,527 Simran: Carve on! 169 00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:33,396 ♪ 170 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,606 If you give me just one more duck, 171 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,240 I swear I'll never carve another again. 172 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:43,006 I swear. Just one more work of art. 173 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:46,076 And then I'll turn to wooden spoons, 174 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,816 or cottage signs. 175 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,662 Or even pen turning. 176 00:09:56,430 --> 00:10:06,340 ♪ 177 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:13,351 Oh, that wasn't right. 178 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,584 Neither is that. 179 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,619 (groaning) 180 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,998 God... 181 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,602 What? Hey, where'd it all go? 182 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,805 You swiped to the next window, just swipe back. 183 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,307 How do you swipe?! 184 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,278 You know, Frank, I don't mind typing it for you. 185 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,137 I can actually easily do it myself. 186 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,676 And have you steal my identity? 187 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:50,081 No thank you, Barb. 188 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,583 (sighing) 189 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,753 Hey, it's all typed in. 190 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:58,756 All right! So now you just press submit-- 191 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,459 Are you sure this is all okay? 192 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,490 Yes, Frank. I'm certain. 193 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,625 Okay. 194 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,501 Hah! Done. 195 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,837 Well then, congratulations, Frank Brunswick! 196 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,507 You are now officially registered for the Northern-- 197 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:17,507 Don't patronize me with your carnival barker routine, Dennis. 198 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,150 Okay, sorry. 199 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,684 The Falcated duck. 200 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:30,716 Indigenous to the land of the five rivers, Punjab. 201 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,594 Just like your boy. 202 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,332 A Punjabi bird. 203 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,857 Actually, a very handsome Punjabi bird 204 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,663 made into a Canadian art form. 205 00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:42,125 The best of both worlds. Fusion! 206 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,035 Fusion, fusion, fusion. 207 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,668 All my idea. 208 00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,744 Of course I knew what I was doing. 209 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,413 The other duck was boring as hell. 210 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:57,247 This is my competition bird this year. 211 00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,220 Her name is Mary Sue. 212 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,150 She's my best work yet. 213 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,255 Shh, yeah. That's okay. 214 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:12,604 My name is Mary Sue. I'm just a good old-fashioned duck. 215 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:16,839 My idea of a perfect time is a stranger on a park bench 216 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,797 with a loaf of bread and some time to kill. 217 00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:22,436 People ask me all the time if I'm lonely. 218 00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:25,511 I have plenty of friends, but... 219 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:28,052 It would be nice sometimes to meet that one special friend 220 00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:31,747 who you want to spend all your time with, 221 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,721 before it's too late. 222 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:39,593 She's a real gas, isn't she? 223 00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:42,133 Oh... 224 00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,858 ♪ Yo, I'm madder than cray ♪ 225 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,463 ♪ I caught my tongue, I flatter your brain ♪ 226 00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:46,934 ♪ No matter the range ♪ 227 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,803 ♪ I break your dollars into loose change ♪ 228 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,672 ♪ You're rhyming two planes like I rhyme with two brains ♪ 229 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:53,540 ♪ I got everybody saying my shit like I was new slang ♪ 230 00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,939 ♪ The empire come with new things for you to palm ♪ 231 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,082 ♪ Like a 12-gauge we be killing you chumps ♪ 232 00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,608 ♪ For your skull, full of lumps ♪ 233 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,552 ♪ When the song 'bout to approach ya ♪ 234 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,078 ♪ Protect his own proper ♪ 235 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,023 ♪ Steal the show like the Phantom of the Opera ♪ 236 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,948 ♪ Order two vodkas to get my head spinning ♪ 237 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,753 ♪ Like propellers on helicopters ♪ 238 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,015 ♪ Fuck the coppers, no, the pigs will never catch me ♪ 239 00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:13,693 ♪ After I paid off the sheriff and the deputy ♪ 240 00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:15,363 ♪ You might get spotted if you stand next to me ♪ 241 00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:16,831 ♪ And try to rock it ♪ 242 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,900 ♪ You're only holding pebbles in your pockets ♪ 243 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:21,469 ♪ Throwing foreign objects at your self-appointed prophets ♪ 16910

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