Original subtitles

Chapman? Very good.

Now, in closing, I'd like to quote Frank Capra:

"Don't compromise. For only the valiant can create.

Only the daring should make films.

And only the artistically incorrupt will earn and keep the people's trust".

Good luck, and goodbye.

Thank you, Penny.

And thank you, Frank Capra, for those words of wisdom.

Before I announce the nominees and the winner...

...of the 10th Annual Student Film Awards...

...keep in mind these films were made by students...

...without any outside assistance of any kind.

In many cases, it meant...

...reaching into their own back pockets.

Now, the first nominee is:

Carl Manknik, for The Trial of Janet Kingsley.

Isn't it true that you were with him on July the 3rd?

I have no idea what you're saying. I've never seen him in my life.

Oh, really?

Well, well, well.

Know what I think, Mrs. Kingsley? I think you're a liar.

- No!. - A liar!.

- No!. - Liar!.

- No!. - Liar!.

No!. You nasty man!

Order.

Your Honor, I object. This is a travesty!

I motion for a mistrial!

Order.

Order in the court.

Ladies and gentlemen, Carl Manknik.

Go on. Go on, Dad. Take a bow.

Ladies and gentlemen, Frank Manknik.

My agent for 20 years...

...and the president of the Manknik Talent Agency.

Now, nominee number two:

Jonathan Tristan- Bennett...

...for Crossed Sabres of Truth.

On June 3rd, 1817...

...ten thousand men took the field of battle at Avignon.

By the noon hour, only two were left to tell the tale.

My humble thanks for this belated, yet welcome, recognition.

I reserve special thanks for Jimmy Delvecchio...

...special effects man extraordinaire...

...regrettably, killed during the filming of Crossed Sabres of Truth.

Thanks also to the Tristan- Bennett family trust fund...

...for their intuition and good faith. Thanks.

And now, nominee number three:

- Lydia Johnson. - Oh, my God!

Lydia Johnson for...

...Afterbirth of a Notion?

Roll it.

Our final nominee is:

Nick Chapman for First Date.

Yeah.

- You must be Joey. - Yes, sir.

I suppose you have come for my daughter.

Yes, sir.

Do you play chess?

A little.

I'll be right down, Joey.

- It's your move. - I just moved.

Move again.

What are you trying to pull?

- Hi, Joey. Are you ready? - Yeah.

Where the hell do you think you're going?!

- We're going on a date, sir. - You're not going anywhere...

...ever again!

And the winner is:

If I can just get this thing open.

Oh, here we are.

Nick Chapman, for First Date.

Congratulations.

Wow.

First, I'd like to thank the institute...

...for this great honor.

I'd like to thank my mom and dad...

...for buying me my first camera when I was 4.

I'd like to thank...

...the cast and crew, most of whom were made up...

...of our fellow students. I'd like to thank...

...Emmet Sumner...

...my friend and cinematographer, for his great images.

He couldn't be here, he's at a Lamaze class.

Most of all...

...I wanna thank Susan...

...for being there when I needed her.

Thanks.

- I liked that dance you did a lot. - Oh, well...

- You must be very proud. - We are.

Nick? Could I see you for a second, please?

Yeah.

- Hello, my name is Allen Habel. - Hi.

- This is Lydia Johnson. - Yes.

- Oh, okay. So congratulations, sweetie. - Thanks.

See you.

- May I call you Nick? - Yeah.

Brilliance. Absolute brilliance.

- Thanks. - Your film had a very unique quality.

- Thank you. - I think we can work together.

Great. You know, I'm completely available.

- May I call you next week? - Yeah. All week. Any day.

Perfect.

Call my secretary.

I'll call you back.

- Okay. - Brilliance.

- Brilliance. - Okay.

Who was that guy?

He's from one of the studios.

- Let's have a speech from Mr. Chapman. - Speech!

Speech! Speech!

I would like to propose a toast...

...to Emmet Sumner for his brilliant cinematography.

Well...

Emmet, you should tell Nick about your movie.

What movie?

It's this low- budget movie this guy wants me to shoot.

- What is it? - It's this stupid movie.

It's called Coffins From Hell.

- What is it about? - Coffins from hell.

That's great, Emmet.

- It'll finally get him into the union. - Yeah.

So you don't seem excited.

It's this piece of shit. I mean, there's no story...

...it's incredibly violent, and I wouldn't want my kid to see it.

- Don't do it. Why compromise? - You make that sound easy.

It is easy. Just do the work you want, and stand by it.

Yeah, I know you're right.

We don't have that luxury. Emmet's been trying...

...to get in that union for six years.

He'll get in when he does my movie.

That would be great.

Nick, congratulations. This is Gail Murphy...

...with IPF Talent Agency. I saw your film.

It's marvelous.

Nick, Herb Bevis. Congratulations.

Loved the film. Give me a call regarding representation.

Hello, Nick. This is Shawna at the Clemsor Agency.

Give us a call tomorrow or at your earliest convenience. Thank you.

Tim Freelander at Freelander- Morris. I didn't see the film...

...but I've heard it's sensational and terrific. We ought to talk.

Party of two.

- Yes, sir? - I'm meeting Mr. Sussman.

He's right there, sir.

Mr. Sussman?

Mr. Sussman is my father, and he lives in Miami Beach.

It's Neil. Please sit.

My wife and I come here all the time. The gaucho steak is wonderful.

Okay, sounds good.

Are those contacts?

No.

I would kill for that color.

I've always been stuck with hazel.

Look, Nick, I'm not gonna bullshit you.

I don't know you or your work.

But I think you're very talented, and I'm never wrong about these things.

Excuse me. Keith?

Could I have another Cointreau and sodie...

...and send an almond torte to the man in the white suit.

Certainly.

Look, Nick, I'm not going to bullshit you...

...because it's a waste of time, and then it becomes like that thing.

I'm not talking to you!

I'll call you.

I'm very, very aware...

...you are seeing other agents.

I think it's good that you are. It's healthy.

But this is the thing. If you decide to sign with me...

...you'll get more than an agent. You'll get three people.

You're gonna get an agent. A mother. A father.

A shoulder to cry on.

Someone who knows this business inside and out.

If anyone ever tries to cross you, I'll grab their balls...

...and squeeze till they're dead.

Excuse me.

- Keith, did you send the torte? - Yes.

And what was his reaction?

He seemed pleased, but beneath the surface, I detected sadness.

So...

...think about what I've been saying.

I'd hate to see you walk into Allen Habel's office with your pants down.

Yes?

Mr. Habel will see you now.

Thank you.

Are we in or out?

Well, just tell me, are we in or out?

Yeah, well, because I can call Jerry right now.

I don't want to call Jerry right now, but I will if I have to.

Look, EL...

Elliot, please, do not make this a nightmare for me, okay?

You like thimbles, Nick?

Well, yeah.

I guess I do.

Thimbles have a very long history.

All the way back to the Greeks. Maybe even before.

- Can I get you anything to drink? - Coffee.

Cheryl, can we have some coffee? And tell Todd to come in, please.

Yes, sir.

So, did you grow up out here, Nick?

- No, I'm from Ohio. - My first wife is from Illinois.

- How long you been out here? - Two years.

Incredible.

Just put it right here, Cheryl.

Nick, this my assistant, Todd Marvin.

Nice to meet you. Heard great things about your movie.

Is anybody warm?

A little.

Cheryl, turn up the air conditioner. And hold all my calls.

So?

So.

What's next?

Well, I'd like to make a film.

Well, you've come to the right place.

Tell me your movie, Nick.

Okay.

Okay. It's a love story.

- It's a triangle, really. - Even better.

It's about how people change for all kinds of reasons.

But no two people do it at the same time...

...or for exactly the same kinds of reasons.

I'm not sure I follow exactly.

It'll be more clear when you hear the story.

Shoot.

Okay.

The whole thing takes place during a week spent in a country house...

...in the middle of winter, during a snowstorm.

The three characters are Sharon...

George...

...and Charlie.

While they're by the fire, it comes out...

...Sharon had an affair with George in the same house the previous summer.

Why didn't you tell me about this, Sharon?

I wanted to. I really wanted to.

Hi.

Hello?

Just be a second.

If he's making that kind of trouble...

...do we really need him?

Then get rid of him. We still on for Saturday?

Sorry. We're making a picture in London and everybody is flipping out.

Continue.

Now, Charlie can't believe what he's hearing.

Charlie. Charlie, I wanted to tell you.

I just couldn't.

- Nick, can I interrupt? - Sure.

Do you think it would be possible to have two women?

Two women?

Boy, it's really blowing out there.

You mean, two couples?

No, I mean two girls and a guy.

Oh, okay.

So Sharon and Charlie have the affair?

No, the two women would be having the affair.

Wel I... yeah, I don't know.

I really don't know.

Well, you should think about it.

I mean, there is something about two women together...

You know?

It's true.

I don't know. I guess it's possible. I mean...

...I know it's possible.

Well, think about it.

It could be an interesting twist.

Excuse me, Mr. Habel, Mr. Fleckman is here.

Tell him I'll see him right away.

I really have to take this meeting. Well!

- We're off to a good start. - Great.

Welcome.

My wife and I are having a party Saturday, we'd love you to come.

Thanks.

- Bye. - Goodbye.

You know, I really think it has to be one woman and two men.

You're right.

With two women, it's a whole different movie.

I agree. Tell him that.

I will. I'll tell him that.

Hi. Come on.

No?

Okay. Bye.

Do you think it would be possible to have two women?

Two women?

Two women.

Nick.

Honey.

Nick.

Hi.

Honey.

- This is my wife. Polo, this is Nick. - Hi.

- Hi. - And...

Susan Rawlings.

- Hi, how do you do? - Hi.

Mindy, Quang.

Kids, your father is talking to you.

This is Mindy. And my adopted Vietnamese son, Quang Da.

- Hi. - Hi.

Okay.

Good kids.

Nick, tell me, what do you do?

Nick is a promising director.

Nice.

Nice, huh?

- Can I get you a drink? - Sure.

Oh, yeah. Come on, Sue.

Tell me, what do you do?

- I'm a homemaker. - She's an architect.

I'd love you to look at my house. I'm having it completely redone.

Again.

So we'll have a drink.

Spritzers?

- Yeah. - Two.

Andres. Andres Vargiak, Nick Chapman.

Oh, wow.

I'm a big fan of your work.

I've seen every film you've ever shot.

Maybe you can get Andres to shoot your movie.

That would be great.

Nice to see you.

Nice to meet you. Excuse me.

Yeah, it's a pleasure.

Andres Vargiak. I'm just saying.

Gretchen.

Come here.

I'll be back in a minute.

Hi.

Everybody, this is Gretchen.

- Susan. Polo, you know, of course. - Welcome.

- This is Nick. - Hi.

- Hi. - Nick is a promising young director.

Oh, really?

Come on, Sue. Come upstairs. Let me show you what I did.

Come on, Sue.

I'll see you guys later.

So are you an actress?

Yes. I'm on a series. But I'd really rather be doing movies.

- Are you making a movie for Allen? - We're talking about it.

That's great.

Can you tell me about it?

- You really want to hear about it? - Yeah.

Okay.

It takes place in a country house in a snowstorm.

When I say snowstorm, I don't mean snowstorm...

Of course, this carpeting's going. Allen's ex put it in.

You know, Miss No Taste herself. I started collecting fine art.

I put in a bid for Marc Chagall's David and Bathsheba.

I'm hanging it there. Mind if I tell you how much this house cost?

No.

Four point six mil.

Really?

And change.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Ma.

We're having a party.

Just business people.

So then Sharon and Charlie decide to go out in the snow...

...and build a snowman.

Wait. I'm confused.

So you have two couples?

No. Sharon and the other woman would be having the affair.

That must be Allen's idea.

How did you know?

That's Allen's thing.

He just likes that.

What do you like?

What do I like?

Have you thought about anyone for Sharon yet?

For Sharon? No. Not really.

Think of me.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I really liked your idea about having it become two women.

I thought about it and I think it would be a challenge...

...to make a love story between two women work.

Good.

But...

But what?

But I really feel it has to be...

...two men and one woman. I really do.

Fine. Okay.

It's not that your idea wouldn't work. It's a great idea.

- It's just, for this movie- - - Nick? Nick!

Nick, you can stop drilling. You struck oil.

Okay, great. Terrific.

But, I do have a problem.

What's that?

- Snow. - What about it?

- It's always snowing. - There doesn't have to always be snow.

Not the snow. The winter. It's depressing.

What if...

...it took place...

...in the summer at the beach?

Interesting.

Well, it changes the whole concept of the film.

I don't think so. Not really.

The interaction among the characters remains the same.

The only thing different is the location.

- Look what I found. - Where?

- Ln the attic. - Didn't even know there was an attic.

We've rented this house for 15 summers, how come none of us knew there was an attic?

- Isn't that weird? - Yeah.

Let's open it.

Whoa, time out here.

- Nick, how old are these people? - Early 40s.

Oh, boy!

- What's wrong? - Well, that is a bad age, Nick.

The people who buy tickets, for better or worse, are between the ages of- -

Fourteen and 24.

So?

If kids want to see people in their 40s, they don't go to the movies.

They go home, look at their parents.

It's true.

I'm a little confused.

No, no, you're not confused.

It's nervous energy. You're excited!

Really?

Yeah! Damn straight!

Now...

...I want you to get out of my office and write me a movie!

Okay, great! Thanks.

Gretchen?

Nick Chapman. We met at Allen Habel's party.

Of course! Are you on the lot?

Looks like I will be. I just made a deal.

- They're gonna let me write a movie. - Congratulations! That's great.

Thanks, I'm really, really excited about it.

That's a...

I'm playing an undercover agent in Switzerland this week.

Want to come in my trailer while I take off my makeup?

You know, that's very nice, but I should probably get going.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well, it was really nice seeing you.

Yeah, it was great to see you too.

I'll see you around the lot.

See you around.

Nick?

Would you like to come to a party with me on Saturday night?

You mean Saturday night?

How about it?

Taste this, would you?

All right. Yeah, it's good.

It needs something. One of those herby things.

- How about Saturday? - What about Saturday?

Are we on for bowling?

Saturday... I'm working Saturday.

Night?

It's a party, but it's for work.

I met an actress at a party. She asked me to another party.

I don't even know if I'm going. I haven't told Susan yet.

- Susan is not invited? - No, no, no.

It's work. But it's a party. It's a work- party thing.

What?

What would you do?

What would I do, or...

...what would Jenny do if she found out?

Found out what?

Aren't you asking if you should get your oil changed?

Make the beast with two backs?

Park the pink Mustang up a side street?

- What? - I'm out of colorful phrases.

No, wait, wait.

I can't believe you're saying that!

It's just a party.

It's a party, for chrissake. That pisses me off. It's really sexist!

Well, I'm sorry. My mistake.

- Do you guys need any help? - What are you boys up to?

Great car.

I'm living with someone.

Toby! Nick, I'll be right back.

Hi.

Hi.

- Are you a friend of Toby? - I'm a friend of a friend of Toby's.

Excuse me. I'm just gonna...

Is that Chapman?

- I thought so. - Jonathan, hi.

What are you doing here? Friend of Toby's?

Actually, I'm a friend of a friend.

How nice.

- What've you been doing? - Oh, you know. This and that.

Nothing concrete?

Actually, I just made a deal.

- Oh, with? - Allen Habel.

Welcome to the club.

You have a deal with Allen?

I have three deals, with three studios. Two to direct, one to produce.

I'm also halfway through my novel.

How's that cancer cure coming?

Don't be bitter, Chapman.

Nick. Hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Where were you? - At another party, down the beach.

- So, what do you want to do now? - Well, I...

I gotta get home.

Oh, come on. I want you to meet my friends.

I gotta get home.

Okay. Do you want to drive my car?

Jesus!

- Where were you? - I went out.

I know. That was five hours ago.

I went to a party.

With Gretchen Gorman.

Who's Gretchen Gorman?

Susan- -

Don't come any closer, unless you wanna walk funny for the rest of your life.

She's just an actress, baby.

- She's a bimbo. - She's an actress.

Okay.

A bimbo actress.

A no- talent, bimbo actress.

A big, fat, no- talent, bimbo actress with hair on her back and bad gums.

I forgive you, Nick.

I get jealous.

Girls get that way.

I...

I love you, you big lug.

You should have told me.

Told you what? I just went to a party. It's not like I slept with her.

Do you want to?

This is stupid.

It was an industry party, okay?

Do you know what that means?

Obviously, you don't.

Obviously.

- So where'd you leave it? - We left it a mess.

I don't know. Everything's changing.

People he barely knew in film school are calling him and asking for jobs.

They're all telling him how talented he is.

It's as if...

...he feels he has to change to become the person they're talking about.

Have you tried beaning him with a rolling pin?

No.

Works with Emmet. Come on, let's buy you lunch.

Okay.

- Why are you looking at me that way? - What way?

You know what way.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You know, maybe I need to think about things.

- What things? - Things. I don't know.

Things, like maybe...

...we should be seeing other people.

"We". No, this isn't about "we", Nick.

This is about you.

I'm not interested in seeing anybody else.

When you decide to do what you want, let me know.

But let me know before you do it.

I'm going out.

Shit!

Goddamn it!

Yes?

- Is Gretchen here? - No, she's not here.

Do you know where she is?

She went someplace with her boyfriend.

Hi.

Hi.

Look, I've been thinking.

And I just...

I don't think I can...

...do this anymore.

So I'm leaving.

That's incredible, because I was thinking the same thing.

I mean, we can't keep living like this. It's...

But I think I should be the one to leave.

Fine.

Leave.

- What do you do? - I'm a director.

- You ever see Rocky Mountain Serenade? - No.

I directed it.

That was Red Reardon's first picture.

I made him a star. A big star.

Then he turned around and crapped in my face. Literally.

It's $1200 a month. I want first, last and a nonrefundable cleaning fee.

Can I take this carpet up?

I just put it down.

- Do you know who used to live here? - No, I don't.

Take a guess. Very famous.

- Clark Gable? - Nope. Guess again.

- I really- - - Take a guess.

- Marilyn Monroe? - No.

- Errol Flynn? - No.

- You give up? - I give up.

Chuck Barris.

The Gong Show guy.

I've done a breakdown, and I see the film being shot in eight weeks.

That sounds right.

You should put in a scene near the end where they throw clam shells.

- I think that would be great. - Yeah?

- I'm wondering about- - - The lighthouse scene?

I am wondering about that, but I was referring to- -

The scene on the catamaran. That's my favorite.

No, but I love the catamaran scene.

That should be shot at sunset so you get that golden, orangey- -

"Miller Time" look.

- Yeah. - Exactly.

Yeah, except it's gonna be in black and white.

- What's gonna be in black and white? - The movie.

- The whole movie? - Yeah.

If you shoot it in black and white they'll just colorize it anyway.

Theaters don't show black- and- white movies.

They don't have the right projectors. All the projectors are in color.

- That's true. - That's not- -

How do you see music fitting in?

Well...

I was thinking no music.

- No music where? - No music at all.

- What do you mean? - You gotta have music.

Well, maybe some music. Just not wall- to- wall music.

Who's talking about wall- to- wall music?

We're talking about 15 or 20 good pop hits, at most. Isn't that right?

- Right. - Exactly.

Well, maybe a couple songs.

Well, good. Now, you think about these changes, Nick.

And get right into the rewrites.

- I think we have a movie. - All right.

It is so good, Nick.

Thanks.

I'm sorry I was late, but the traffic was just murder.

It's good to see you.

I'm sorry I haven't gotten over. Things have been crazy.

It's the same at our house, with the baby.

- How's she doing? - She's just incredible.

We've got a nickname for her. We call her Moochie.

You're kidding? That's great. Listen to this.

Yeah! That's great.

You believe that bottom end?

- Where did you get this car? - I'm leasing it.

Did I tell you I'm looking at a house? Don't you laugh.

It's in Beverly Hills.

I don't know if I can afford it. But I don't know if I can't.

- What do you want to do? - I thought we'd drive around.

- We could get a burger. - Whatever you want.

I just thought maybe- -

Sorry.

Yeah?

Okay, hold on a sec.

- Sorry. I gotta take this. - Go ahead.

I mean...

Sorry.

Hello. Yeah.

Bye.

Emmet. Emmet.

I'm sorry about that, but it happens.

- How's your rewrite coming? - Rewrite?

We start shooting in six weeks.

Really?

I fought for you. I wanted you to shoot this.

- You don't have to explain. - You were the only one on my list.

Nick, really, it's all right.

They're making me use Andres Vargiak.

He's good.

I know, he's great. But I wanted you.

Well, here we are.

Yeah, so we are.

Yeah, well, I'll see you.

- Okay. I'll call you. - Yeah.

Ciao!

- That was quick. - Yeah.

I thought you guys were having lunch.

No, I guess not.

You wanna go see Daddy? Yeah.

What about the film?

I don't think it's gonna work out.

- Lucy, let's go make Daddy a sandwich. - You gonna help Mama?

Look, I am not gonna dick you around.

Because I have way too much respect for you.

I'm saying that not as your agent.

Although, God, that has given me an insane amount of pleasure.

And I don't mean that as just show- biz bullshit.

Where you hear talk on the street, and it becomes, like, that thing.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that your project is dead.

What are you talking about?

Anything that Allen was involved with is dead.

Whoever takes over doesn't want blood on their hands.

They want, with all due respect, to distance themselves from the stench.

So just let it blow over.

And in a couple of months, you'll come in and we'll have a really good talk.

A couple of months? Neil, I don't have any money!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

If you could just get me a meeting with the new studio head.

If I could just talk to him...

...I'm sure I could convince him.

I'm convinced that all the commercial elements are there.

The product has demographic viability in a package for the youth market...

...and beyond. Way beyond.

Nick, I've always had major reservations about this.

I know, I know. Me too. Exactly.

Lori, that is very perceptive, but what if...

What if...

What if we were to leave it at the beach, right?

Only it's a bunch of college guys living in the house.

They've rented it, and they're having this party.

And suddenly, without anyone realizing it, three...

...stewardesses show up on their doorstep.

Party!

Or...

...the three stewardesses are actually ghosts.

And they've been living in the attic.

Ghosts by night, stews by day, and...

...they could be naked in the room, and the guys can't even see them...

and like the bikinis are bouncing around without even bodies in them.

Or...

I'm not just gonna stand by and watch them do this to you.

I'm just not.

I made a promise to love you no matter what.

I want to be with you.

And I want to hold you, and comfort you.

Until they see what I saw in you on that first night we met.

Please.

Please say that you- -

Oh, that must be my agent.

- Was it better that time? - Better. You could- -

If I get the part, it's thanks to you.

- What about my movie? - How's my mascara? Never mind.

- Hi. - Hi.

I'll just be a sec. Oh, Nick. Meet my new agent, Carl.

Yeah, we've met. Hi, Carl.

Nick, I thought that was you.

I heard about your deal falling apart.

Well, it's not definite yet.

Oh, really? Well...

...that's not what I heard.

Nick. Carl and I, we have to talk.

Privately, if you don't mind.

Do you think we could, I don't know, see a movie or something later?

No. I think I might be doing something.

It doesn't have to be at the beach, or have three stewardesses.

It could be two stewardesses, or four.

They don't even have to be ghosts, if you don't like the metaphysical- -

What does the public, the general public, want to see?

- I don't know. - I do.

Here at Brown Entertainment...

...we take the scientific approach to movie-making: market research.

Buddy pictures. They wanna see buddy pictures.

Now...

...who do you think are the two most beloved figures in American history?

Beats me.

Babe Ruth and Abe Lincoln.

Hey, Abe, how's that bat coming? I wanna hit me some baseballs.

It's all done, Babe.

She's a beaut. Thanks, kid.

Just make sure the Yankees win.

That's the Babe for you.

What do you think?

Well, you know, that's a...

- That's a good idea. - Good.

Now...

...how much money have you got to invest?

All right, Nick, looks good.

I see you're a director. Jimmy, our busboy, is a director.

I could start today after 4 p.m.

You could start, if I needed a waiter. I got 70 people on a waiting list.

I'll tell you what.

You give me a call in about six weeks.

- Okay, Nick. - Thanks.

Watch it! You're knocking off all my magnets.

Sorry.

Jerk. Pull!

Hello. Is this Mrs. Stein?

Hi, I'm calling to tell you about our brand- new service.

How many times have you said to yourself:

"My phone smells, but what can I do about it?"

Our revolutionary phone- cleaning service will solve this problem- -

Mrs. Stein? Hello? Hello?

I love you, Suz.

I love you too.

Hello.

Hi, sweetie, how are you?

- Hi, Mom, how you doing? - How's the movie going?

We had a little delay. We haven't actually started shooting yet.

Everybody wants to know when it's coming out.

Yeah. Well...

Tell them next Christmas.

At Radio City?

Yeah. Yeah, Mom, Radio City.

Listen, I'm just on my way out. I've got a production meeting.

Could you tell Dad I said hi?

Are you and Susan coming home for Christmas?

No, we...

I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it for Christmas.

But tell Dad I said hi, and I'll talk to you soon.

Okay? Bye- bye.

Frankie.

Another one.

I can't serve you no more, Mr. Chapman. It ain't good for you.

Please, Frankie. Please.

Just one more. Just a taste. For old times' sake.

- I can't, Mr. C. - You could when I was on top.

I used to come in with a broad on each arm...

...and a bankroll that could choke a hippo.

You were my friend then.

Everyone was my friend then.

Whatever happened to that nice girl, the blond?

She was a nice girl. Real classy.

I broke her heart, Frankie.

I broke it into a million pieces.

Here you go, Mr. C.

- Thanks. - Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Dear Father in heaven...

That's better.

I'm not a praying man, but if you're up there, and you can hear me...

...show me the way.

- Hi. - Hi.

Sign right there.

Thank you.

- Is Susan Rawlings around? - And your name?

Nick Chapman.

- Tell Ms. Rawlings there's a Mr... - Chapman.

...to see her. Thanks.

- Her office is at the end of the hall. - Thanks.

My, my, look what the cat dragged in.

Hello, Nick.

I almost didn't recognize you without that starlet sitting on your face.

Careful, you're tracking in failure all over my carpet.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Come in. - Thanks.

- Nice office. - I share it with a couple of people.

Yeah, I finally got some windows.

They don't open. That's my next promotion.

Sit down.

Thanks.

- So how have you been? - Well, I'm a messenger this week.

I was making a delivery, so I thought I'd see how you're doing.

- So how you doing? - Good.

Yeah. Things are going well.

Have you seen Emmet and Jenny?

Yeah, yeah. I saw them last night.

Lucy, oh, she's so cute. She looks like Emmet.

Without the beard.

You should give him a call.

Well, I wouldn't... Wouldn't know what to say.

Well, I think he'd like to hear from you.

Yeah.

So are you seeing anyone?

- No. - No?

- You? - No.

You look great.

I do?

- Really? - Yes.

- So do you. - Thanks.

I should probably...

...hit the road.

You wanna see a movie or something sometime?

Well, don't- - You can think about it.

You should think about it. I don't...

I don't think I'm ready yet.

Well, I understand. That's only... That's, you know... yeah.

Okay, well...

It was... great to see you.

It was great to see you too.

I better get that.

Maybe we can...

Yeah.

Okay.

- Nick! You dick! - Lydia!

Hi.

Hey, how come you didn't call me?

Sorry. I'm a dick.

So how have you been?

How've I been? Ah, how've I been?

It started nine months ago. A man was graduating from film school.

So that's how I've been.

Oh, Nick, that's the saddest story I ever heard.

- You should feel sorry for yourself. - Oh, I do. I do.

So, what moral may we extract from all of this?

Gee, Miss Crabtree, if I ever get another chance...

...maybe I'll do things a little differently.

- Maybe I won't be such an asshole. - Think that's possible?

Thank you.

- You're welcome. - Nice.

Yes.

Wow.

This is gigantic.

Do you live here alone?

As far as I know.

- Want something to drink? - A beer?

Yes.

- How long have you had the place? - I got it after school.

It used to be an old mannequin factory.

- I fixed it up. A lot. - Good job.

Boy, Nick...

Hasn't your agent been able to do anything?

Oh, sure. He squeezed my balls until I was dead.

Thanks.

So you working?

Yes. I have a night job.

I round up shopping carts that are left out on the sidewalks, you know?

I was thinking about doing a documentary about it.

The people that leave them there. Why do they leave them?

Are they making a statement about the supermarket?

Or about... society?

You know, I interviewed a couple of them.

And the whole thing became so...

...fucking boring that I gave up.

But, you know, I'm not depressed that I'm 26...

...and have no idea what I'm gonna do with my life.

- Great! You wanna meet my neighbors? - Yeah.

Well, let's go.

We're going to meet my neighbors We're going to meet my neighbors

- Come, come, come. - I'm coming.

They wanna make a video. Maybe you guys should talk.

- Why don't you direct it? - No...

I gave up video. I'm into ham radio performance art now.

- Have they got any money? - No.

I'll do it. What are they called?

They don't have a name. They need a name...

...and they need a concept.

That was Pez People doing "The Whites of Their Eyes"...

...directed by Nick Chapman. Next, a group called Bide- a- wee.

They're from Rhode Island, that little tiny state.

Rhode Island? No? Okay.

Hi, Em.

Well, hello.

Hey, Lucy. Hi, Lucy.

Look what I got.

Hello there! Hello there!

Okay, okay. Here.

What's that, what's that?

She's beautiful.

You ought to get one.

Oh, yeah.

The timing is perfect. No girlfriend, no job, no future.

Would you hand me that rag there?

I didn't fight for you.

Yeah, I know.

I want you to be my friend again.

- Nick, I was always your friend. - No, I know. I mean...

I wanna be your friend again.

I'll check it for you.

Oh, yeah, here it is right here.

Hi. How was your trip?

Shit. It snowed.

Here's your mail.

- Anything certified? - No.

- How was your weekend? - Went to Santa Barbara. Read scripts.

I saw an interesting music video last night.

It was directed by Nick Chapman.

Really? Was it any good?

It had a quality. It was interesting. I mean, for a video.

What group was it?

I don't know.

- You don't know? - I don't remember. I can find out.

Do you want me to try and get you a copy of the tape?

No. See if you can get him on the phone.

- You sure I can't help with anything? - No, no. Everything's out of control.

- What time do you have to be back? - Don't worry about it.

When did you start cooking?

Well, I can't afford to eat out anymore.

And then I heard a rumor that you could buy food in a store, uncooked...

...take it home and cook it yourself.

- I think I saw an article about that. - Oh, you saw that?

So have you seen the Pez People video?

- I guess I keep missing it. - It's only been on once.

But Lydia has a copy of it if you wanna borrow the cassette.

Oh.

Hello?

- Is this Nick Chapman? - Yeah.

This is Todd Marvin calling for Allen Habel.

Yeah.

Hi, Todd.

Listen, could I...? Could I call you back?

Because I'm... I'm kind of in the middle of something.

- Sure. - Thanks. Bye.

Bye.

What did he say?

He said he was in the middle of something.

Was he talking on another line?

I don't know.

I wonder if he's already made a deal with somebody else.

I could find out.

Make some calls. See if you can find out who he's talking with.

Sandwich okay?

Do you want any more of that?

- No, thanks. - All right.

See...

My secret is that I take the plastic off each slice...

...before I put them into the toaster oven.

I mean, that's where you get that kind of...

...special taste.

Okay.

You want some more soup?

You sure? There's a ton here.

What time did you say you have to be back?

Don't worry about it.

You wanna take a drive?

Sure.

Where to?

France?

Nick, how's it going? This is Todd again.

Allen needs to talk with you as soon as possible, so please get back to us.

I discovered him, and now I can't even get him on the phone.

- That's typical. - What's his name?

- Nick Chapman. - I never even heard of him.

I hear he's a genius.

So I recommended Dick Chapman, but I hear he's unavailable.

- Isn't that Nick Chapman? - I thought it was Dick.

- You should see his new video. - It's the best. And I've seen them all.

Nick, hi, it's your agent, Neil.

There's an enormous amount of activity happening, so I need to talk to you.

Like, immediately.

So please return this call the second you get in, okay? Thank you.

Nick, Todd again. Third message.

You can reach me at any of the numbers I've left. Bye.

Nick, this is your agent, Neil. Please give me a call.

Yes, I can tell you what Nick wants.

I happen to speak to him three times a day.

Why am I yelling, Stan? Because nobody calls me a douche bag. Okay?

Okay, forgiven. But I'd only hope you remember, young man...

...you're not the only one who wants to deal with Nick.

The kid happens to be a genius. So just sit back...

...relax your crack and I'll be in touch.

Douche bag. Corky, try Nick again!

Get me a reservation on the 12 o'clock flight to New York, Friday.

Call Rod at home and tell him not to use the shower until the plumber comes.

Call Nick Chapman regarding Beach Nuts.

And get me a pot of decaf.

I think we may be too late.

From what I hear, he's probably booked for the next two years.

People are calling me, asking how to reach him.

It's incredible.

I wanna talk to him.

Nick? Allen Habel.

I've instructed my secretary to give you my home number. Call me tonight.

Nick, this is Lori. Would you please call me as soon as you get this?

Hi, Nick, it's Gretchen. I've missed you.

Where are you? Call me, okay? Bye.

Nick, don't even ask me how. The important thing is, I did it.

I have here before me, five movie scripts, three TV pilots, a miniseries and an opera.

Now, we can take our pick.

I've read almost all of them almost all the way through.

I think the best one is the show about the black kid and the cop.

It is very heartwarming and funny, and yet it has an edge.

- Which is very intriguing. - I'd like to do my script.

Well, Nick, I have to go on record and say...

...that I think that you are making a huge mistake.

Well, I want to do my script.

Nick, do you hate me?

Why do you hurt me like this?

I have something perfect for you, and you slap me with a dead fish.

I'm going to make my movie, Neil.

I'm sorry...

...but you're making a huge mistake.

Yeah, well, at least it'll be my mistake.

Okay.

Refresh my memory.

The whole thing takes place at a country house...

...in the middle of winter.

No, no. That's fine.

- Snow good for you? - Let's do it.

- All right. - Roll sound.

Speed.

- Quiet. - And...

...action!

- Crane! - Crane.

Action in the house.

Happy New Year!