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1
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,376
[The Dandy Warhols'
"Little Drummer Boy"]
2
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,413
*
3
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:16,184
- * Come, they told me
4
00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:19,253
* Pa-rum pum pum pum
5
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:22,656
*
6
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:26,127
* Our newborn King to see
7
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,163
* Pa-rum pum pum pum
8
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:32,566
*
9
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,270
* Our finest gifts to bring
10
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:39,107
* Pa-rum pum pum pum
11
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:42,110
[tense music]
12
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:49,150
*
13
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,330
- Buying or selling?
14
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,199
- Browsing.
15
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,605
Window shopping, if I'm
being completely honest.
16
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:14,508
I just started my Christmas
shopping today, okay?
17
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:17,445
Every year, I tell myself,
start in July,
18
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,313
do a little bit each month--
19
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,715
you'll be so happy when
the Yuletide rolls in.
20
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,684
And I know what
you're thinking:
21
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:26,120
tell us something about
the person you're shopping for.
22
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:28,156
Do they have hobbies,
interests,
23
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,457
fetishes...
24
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,225
allergies.
25
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,194
Well, here's the thing.
26
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,896
I am not entirely sure
I want the gift
27
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,332
to be stolen per se.
28
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,369
No offense.
29
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,637
See what I did there,
half-crackin'?
30
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,439
I said "fence"
31
00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:47,575
'cause you're
the premiere fence
32
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,443
on the West Coast.
33
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:51,579
El Proveedor.
34
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,148
[train whistles in background]
35
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,352
Provedor?
36
00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,621
May I call you...
37
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,223
Glenn?
38
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:05,226
[dramatic musical flourish]
39
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:07,528
*
40
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,371
- Who the hell wears a beard
over a beard?
41
00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,507
- Who wears a beard-beard?
42
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,709
Overachievers.
43
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,377
That's who, Jack.
44
00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:26,380
[dramatic musical flourish]
45
00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:28,682
*
46
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:32,520
Hook-beak!
47
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:35,189
Double hook-beak.
48
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,425
Finger.
49
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,663
[exhales]
50
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,365
[guns cocking]
51
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:49,403
[tense music]
52
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:53,607
*
53
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,543
- Hey, whoa, no.
54
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,411
Easy, easy.
55
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,647
Down, down. Put it down.
56
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,815
Everyone. You. Put it down.
57
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,485
[The Ramones'
"Merry Christmas"]
58
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,488
- * Merry Christmas, I don't
want to fight tonight *
59
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,391
* Merry Christmas, I don't
want to fight tonight *
60
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:13,261
* Merry Christmas, I
don't want to fight tonight *
61
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,695
* With you
62
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,830
*
63
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,700
* Where is Santa
at his sleigh? *
64
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:23,304
* Tell me, why is it
always this way? *
65
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,706
* Where is Rudolph?
Where is Blitzen? *
66
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,475
* Baby, Merry Christmas
67
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,510
* Merry, merry,
merry Christmas *
68
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,811
* All the children
are tucked in their beds *
69
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,813
- [screams]
70
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,583
- * Sugar-plum fairies
dancing in their heads *
71
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,719
*
72
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,354
[gasps]
73
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:42,990
[groans]
74
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,327
- * I love you
and you love me *
75
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,695
- Oh, come on, let's go.
76
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,464
- * The way
it's got to be *
77
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:53,033
* I loved you
from the start *
78
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,735
* 'Cause Christmas
ain't the time *
79
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,837
* For breaking each other's
hearts *
80
00:03:56,870 --> 00:04:00,040
* Where is Santa
at his sleigh? *
81
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,344
* Tell me, why is it
always this way? *
82
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,846
* Where is Rudolph?
Where is Blitzen? *
83
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,648
* Baby, Merry Christmas
84
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,717
* Merry, merry,
merry Christmas *
85
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,620
* All the children are
tucked in their beds *
86
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,656
* Sugar-plum fairies
dancing in their heads *
87
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,359
* Snowball fighting,
it's so exciting, baby *
88
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,728
[indistinct screaming]
89
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,530
- * Yeah, yeah, yeah
90
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,865
* I love you,
and you love me *
91
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:28,369
* And that's the way
it's got to be *
92
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:31,071
* I loved you
from the start *
93
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,341
* 'Cause Christmas ain't
the time for breaking *
94
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,075
* Each other's hearts
95
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,312
* Merry Christmas,
I don't want to fight *
96
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:41,815
* Tonight with you
97
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,451
- [panting]
98
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:55,663
Damn it.
99
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,333
[gasps]
100
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,937
Guys. Gentlemen.
101
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,808
Upon further review,
this is not my sack.
102
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,310
My sack is... much smaller.
103
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,414
So if you see my sack,
104
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,716
would you do me a favor
and, uh...
105
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,853
- The problem for me is
Neil deGrasse Tyson
106
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,755
gets as much wrong
as he gets right.
107
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:22,856
[crashing]
108
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,428
I mean, I just don't appreciate
being talked down to,
109
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,597
especially about astrophysics.
110
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,668
Hawking is in the ballpark.
111
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,937
He gets it half right.
He knows that.
112
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,874
Do we have a security person?
113
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:44,412
[suspenseful music]
114
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,680
*
115
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:47,781
- I'm gonna have to see
some ID--
116
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:48,816
Ugh!
117
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:53,153
*
118
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,855
- [grunts]
119
00:05:54,888 --> 00:06:01,762
*
120
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,367
[gasps]
121
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,503
- I don't remember
giving you permission
122
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,572
to borrow my Hagrid costume,
Shawn.
123
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:14,575
[dramatic musical flourish]
124
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,777
*
125
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,846
- Gus, eyes forward.
126
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,448
These guys are armed.
127
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,982
- Taking cases
without me again?
128
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,851
- I have to take on cases
without you; you have a job.
129
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,886
- I gave the San Francisco
detective thing a chance.
130
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,521
- Eleven days, Gus.
We were here for eleven days
131
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:28,989
before you got
a full-time gig.
132
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,458
- Look, how many times
do we have to do this?
133
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,660
I need security.
Security!
134
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,663
- Hey, man. Is that sourdough?
135
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,665
- You know damn well
it's sourdough.
136
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:39,433
- Why don't you, uh, pass
half that sweet sandy
137
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:40,768
under the table?
138
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,570
- You must be out
of your damn mind.
139
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,704
- Well, then will you
at least do me a solid
140
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,872
and go pull the fire alarm?
141
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,775
- If I pull the fire alarm,
142
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,543
people will evacuate
the whole building.
143
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,811
- Yes, Gus.
That's what I'm counting on.
144
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,781
- Okay.
145
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,015
[crashing]
146
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,920
- Excuse me, sir.
147
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,855
You guys looking for a
transient with half a beard?
148
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,524
He pushed his way up
to our elevator
149
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,958
and broke my secret Santa gift.
150
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,761
Would you mind taking your
business outside?
151
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,563
- He's in the elevator?
152
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:10,698
- Probably in the lobby
by now.
153
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:11,832
[snaps fingers]
- Let's go.
154
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,835
[smooth music]
155
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:18,506
*
156
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,242
- Burton?
157
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,712
Can we have a word
in my office?
158
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,548
- Man...
159
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,050
[jaunty rock music]
160
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:34,087
*
161
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,756
- * In between the lines
162
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,825
* There's a lot of obscurity
163
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:41,094
* I'm not inclined to resign
to maturity *
164
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,063
* If it's all right
165
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,965
* Then you're all wrong
166
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:48,101
* But why bounce around
to the same damn song *
167
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,070
*
168
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:53,841
* You'd rather run when
you can't crawl *
169
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,709
*
170
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,578
* I know, you know
171
00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:58,946
* That I'm not
telling the truth *
172
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,848
* I know, you know
173
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,282
* They just don't have
any proof *
174
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,051
* Embrace the deception
175
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,819
* Learn how to bend
176
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,655
* Your worst inhibitions
177
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,823
* Tend to psych you out
ih the end *
178
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:12,760
*
179
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,566
- * It's Christmastime again
180
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,867
*
181
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,770
* That magical time of year
182
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,204
*
183
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,942
- You do not want to know how
far I had to go to get this.
184
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,678
- No.
- And to add insult to injury,
185
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,312
they'd never even heard
of almond milk.
186
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,647
- What?!
- Any of the nut milks.
187
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:34,915
- Ugh.
- I know.
188
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,650
- What'd I miss?
- We got eight.
189
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:37,785
- Hey, that's a solid
day of work.
190
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,286
- Yeah. Let's just pack it in.
191
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,592
[light suspenseful music]
192
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,026
*
193
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,563
- Soft pass?
194
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:51,799
- Or nine.
I got one more.
195
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,834
- Copy.
Just don't go alone.
196
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,342
- She went alone.
197
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,811
Somebody cover her back.
198
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:06,680
Kidding.
I'm on it.
199
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:13,721
*
200
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,263
- Dude, you literally made
201
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,599
every obvious move
you could make.
202
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,300
I say this with disappointment,
203
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,302
because I was actually hoping
to get in some cardio today.
204
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,976
- [sniffling]
I'm so sorry, Juliet.
205
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,045
- What the hell are you doing?
206
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,313
- I can explain.
Please let me go.
207
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,952
[downbeat music]
208
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:51,992
*
209
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,628
- Go.
210
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,805
- He got away?
211
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,674
- Yep.
212
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,744
- So he was just...
213
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:13,747
transporting the goods from
the café to the alley here.
214
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,382
- I guess so.
- That's what it looks like.
215
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,917
- Yeah.
216
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,920
[dramatic music]
217
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:26,960
*
218
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,842
- I'm absolutely dazzled
219
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,911
by what you've done
with the place, Sammy.
220
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,979
Problem is, you were not
supposed to be home yet,
221
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,348
but I'm nothing if not
an improviser.
222
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:50,818
- Billy?
223
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,419
- Now let's be honest.
224
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,154
I've never really looked
like a Billy.
225
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,925
Call me the Duke.
226
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,126
- [laughs]
227
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,828
The Duke?
228
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,462
Is this, uh,
229
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,932
"Extreme Makeover:
Criminal Edition"?
230
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,400
Looks good on you, though.
231
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,736
Yeah.
232
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:12,205
Um, in all fairness, though,
233
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,708
there is something
you should know.
234
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,480
My partner's adamant
about home security.
235
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,016
- [giggles]
236
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,117
- [laughs]
237
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,721
- If we're going to do this,
238
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,857
then there's a fun fact you
should know about me, mate.
239
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,960
I no longer work alone.
240
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,872
- Billy...
241
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,807
Come on, there's no need
to escalate this.
242
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,708
We can talk this through.
243
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:54,114
- You know I hate negotiation,
Samuel.
244
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,884
[gunshots]
- [groans]
245
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,153
[doorbell chimes]
246
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,991
- O'Hara?
- Hi.
247
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:08,862
- Um, I have a difficult,
private matter
248
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,064
I need to talk to you about
outside of the office.
249
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,866
- Okay, sure.
Come on in.
250
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,434
- Thanks.
251
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,204
- Uh, just let me get Richard
off to the airport.
252
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,873
- Um... your husband's here?
253
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,875
- Well, yeah, why wouldn't
he be in our house?
254
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,978
- Oh, well, it's just in all
of the time I've known you,
255
00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:26,980
I've never actually...
256
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:27,981
seen him.
257
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,516
- Really?
258
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:30,784
Oh, that's not right.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
259
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:31,919
- Just give me five minutes,
260
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,221
and we'll ride in together.
261
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,224
[light suspenseful music]
262
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:44,264
*
263
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,969
- Please don't tell her.
264
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,538
- What choice do I have?
265
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,007
You put me in
this position.
266
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,876
What the hell are
you doing, Iris?
267
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,510
- There are these girls.
They're awful.
268
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,579
But they offered me a chance
to be a part of them.
269
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,981
And I just had
to prove myself--
270
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:02,883
- You have to tell your mom.
271
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,251
- You know they want to make
her the police commissioner.
272
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,486
This will ruin everything.
273
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,323
- Okay. Here is what
you are going to do.
274
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:13,060
You are going to call me
every single day.
275
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,195
You are never to hang out
with those girls again,
276
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,297
and should you find yourself
being bullied,
277
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,966
you are going to text me
where you are,
278
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:20,901
and I will rain hell
on the guilty party.
279
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,269
Pinky swear?
280
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,205
- Oh, look at you two.
281
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:28,008
Best friends.
Slightly jealous.
282
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,142
Here.
283
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,945
You ready?
- Mm-hmm.
284
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,181
- Okay.
285
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,585
- Chief...
286
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,354
you know that thing I was
gonna talk to you about?
287
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,124
Y-you have a lot on
your plate right now,
288
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,292
and it's really not
that important--
289
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,860
- Okay, just stop.
290
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:47,961
I think I know what
this is about,
291
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,262
and it is important.
292
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,631
- Oh, God, you do?
- Of course I do.
293
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,234
But, you know, maybe...
294
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:57,037
maybe marriage was never gonna
be the right choice for you.
295
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,238
- What?
296
00:13:58,271 --> 00:13:59,973
- Oh, God, you know
I love Shawn.
297
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:02,209
And he is an extraordinary
person, but maybe
298
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,577
your goals and his goals were
just never gonna line up
299
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:05,879
in the end.
300
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,147
- [laughs]
Oh, no.
301
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,648
Um, no.
This is not about me.
302
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,083
- No, of course it's not, no.
303
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,985
It's about the both of you.
304
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,921
- Okay, we are really
misunderstanding each other
305
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,055
right now.
306
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:16,156
- Okay, but it's easy to notice
307
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,557
that you don't wear a ring.
308
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,661
- Look, I am in no rush.
309
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,930
- I just think the question is,
310
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,231
how long are you gonna wait?
311
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,101
I hope I'm wrong.
312
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,937
And I hope it's with Shawn.
313
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:30,971
- Mm.
314
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,040
[ringtone]
315
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,641
Sorry, yeah.
316
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,109
O'Hara.
317
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,614
- The man who stole from me
318
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:44,051
entered the boat
right behind you.
319
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:47,254
Tell me how you know him.
320
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,589
- I never seen him before.
321
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,093
I'm not foolish enough
to lie to you.
322
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,228
- Hey, El, we found something
on the beard.
323
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,701
- Find this man.
324
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,637
This Burton Guster.
325
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,710
[East Asian folk music]
326
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:17,951
*
327
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,997
- It looks amazing,
doesn't it?
328
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,999
[chuckles]
I just finished the addition.
329
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,233
I matched it exactly
330
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,401
with the 30th Anniversary
Blu-Ray.
331
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,136
- Of "Gremlins"?
- Cheers.
332
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,670
- Shawn, we are eight feet
underground
333
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,339
at the end of an alley
in Chinatown.
334
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:41,975
- Gus, don't be the comma
in Earth, Wind & Fire.
335
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:44,711
This is a glorious triumph,
336
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,446
especially considering all
the restrictions you gave me.
337
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,315
- Restrictions?
- Oh, let's see here:
338
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,217
cable car adjacent,
339
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,452
gotta be smelling distance
from Ghirardelli Square...
340
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,221
- That's half the city
with my nose.
341
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,023
And we both know the problem
is the name.
342
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,691
- You shut your drunk mouth.
343
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,393
That name is spun gold.
344
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:01,995
- It literally looks like
a bunch of letters
345
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,030
pushed together.
346
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,099
- psychphrancisco.
347
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,236
One word, all lowercase,
ph for the f.
348
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,471
What's not to understand, Gus?
349
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,140
- If we're gonna get
walk-up traffic,
350
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,674
we need a business name
that makes sense.
351
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,009
And we can't keep
making additions
352
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,110
until we get more cases.
353
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,146
- [laughs heartily] Gus.
354
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,447
I don't mean to talk
down to you,
355
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,182
but are you familiar
with the expression,
356
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,117
"you gotta spend money
to buy things"?
357
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,418
- That's not at all
how it goes,
358
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,120
and you haven't heard it
both ways. What--
359
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:30,523
- Immaterial, because we
already have a case.
360
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:32,792
A big one.
You should sit down.
361
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,694
- On what?
- The rickshaw.
362
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,265
Okay, listen.
363
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,133
Juliet's partner,
sweet Sam Sloane--
364
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,501
he's in the ICU.
365
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,203
He was attacked in
his own home last night.
366
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,804
He's barely hanging on, Gus.
367
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,273
We got to get down to
the hospital right away.
368
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,541
- Oh, man.
And the police asked for us?
369
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,310
- Since when do they
have to ask?
370
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,079
Gus, we show up, I do
a little of this.
371
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,213
Even less of that.
One of those.
372
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,414
The rest writes itself.
373
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:55,815
- Shawn, you know
I can't do that.
374
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,284
I have to make all
my holiday bonuses
375
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,818
just to keep this
money pit afloat.
376
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,553
- I figured you'd say
something like that.
377
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,555
Which is why I'm pitching this
to sweeten the pot:
378
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,091
as we drive across town,
379
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,493
we stop at every
single Cinnabon.
380
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,195
- I'm listening.
381
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,829
- We Pandora up
a Prince death tribute--
382
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,564
- Shawn, you know Prince
isn't really dead.
383
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:12,832
- And by the time we're
finished later tonight,
384
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,434
you're at the observatory
385
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,170
for the Starry Night
Telescope Viewing Party
386
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,438
on Mt. McCumber.
387
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,440
- That telescope party
is tonight.
388
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,175
- I hear it gets
wilder every year.
389
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,310
- Not possible, Shawn.
390
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:24,811
Not possible.
391
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,779
- We'll see about that,
won't we?
392
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,253
Oh, wow.
393
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,188
Sam has a lot of friends.
394
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:37,190
- Everyone's head's down.
That can't be a good sign.
395
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,325
- All right, everyone,
listen up.
396
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,193
- Uh-oh.
- Whoever did this
397
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,462
had Inspector Sloane's alarm
code, knew his schedule,
398
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,331
and shot him within a minute
of him entering his own house.
399
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,133
- I can't see anything.
400
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,500
- I see balloons over there.
He's probably--
401
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:48,568
- We should've brought
a cake or something.
402
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,869
- Is somebody here?
403
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,472
- Hello.
- Chief.
404
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:53,873
It's us, Chief.
405
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,375
- Yes.
- Uh, 'scuse us, guys.
406
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,310
I--I get it. It's unfair.
407
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,845
You were here first,
but it's just--
408
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,447
it's impossible to see
past you all,
409
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,614
'cause you're, like,
410
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,116
what are you feeding them?
411
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,617
- What are you doing here?
412
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,886
- Uh, we--uh, we just came
to pay our respects.
413
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,856
- Oh, that's very nice of you.
414
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,224
You done yet?
415
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,227
- I didn't realize there
was a time limit.
416
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,462
Please continue.
417
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:16,563
- Okay, the only thing
that we know
418
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,830
that they were able to take
419
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,432
was Inspector Sloane's dongle.
420
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,900
- Oh, my God!
- It's not what you think.
421
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,535
- It's exactly what
I think, Gus.
422
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,204
These people are monsters
and they must be stopped.
423
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,305
- A dongle is
a security device.
424
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,639
- Sure, for some people.
425
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,308
- You stick it into
your computer.
426
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:29,376
- Not my computer.
Not since high school.
427
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:30,877
Jules, back me up on this.
428
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:31,911
- Shawn, stop talking.
- All right.
429
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,246
- This particular device
430
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,814
allows an officer to access
431
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,583
his or her confidential
San Francisco PD files.
432
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,252
It's the only way that you
can get into the system.
433
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,321
- You knew this?
434
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,389
Okay. All right.
435
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:43,823
So this is different.
436
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,258
What you're saying
is a different thing.
437
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,260
My bad.
Please continue.
438
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,162
- Okay, Inspector Sloane's
dongle was right-angled
439
00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:50,197
and purple.
440
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,264
- Ha, ha, ha.
441
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,532
- Oh, my God.
442
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,567
- Well, it's a little
silly, isn't it?
443
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,536
- A word?
444
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:59,206
Outside.
445
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,274
- Excuse us, guys.
Sorry.
446
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:02,875
- Hey, hon, what's up?
447
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,411
- Why are you here?
- To offer our services.
448
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,912
- He's here to offer
our services.
449
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,280
I'm about to go check out
some black holes.
450
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,515
- That was a bad
choice of words.
451
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,317
- Out of context,
I regretted it.
452
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,951
- Sweetheart, this is Sam,
okay? He's family.
453
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,520
We're all in this thing
together.
454
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,687
- Shawn, your offer is lovely,
455
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:15,955
but the answer is no,
456
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,424
and don't push me on this.
457
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,925
Go home, go now,
458
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,393
good-bye.
459
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:22,595
- Wow.
- What?
460
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,499
- Mm-mm-mm.
461
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,268
- Where the hell did
you get a waffle?
462
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:29,302
- Don't worry about it, Shawn.
463
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,146
- Dude, she's so hardcore.
464
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,450
- Shawn, she's dealing
with a lot.
465
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,951
You need to give her
some space.
466
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,686
Now, listen, tonight's moon
is a waxing gibbous
467
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,421
and Venus is in retrograde.
468
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:49,722
So we need to be at that
telescope before--
469
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:50,857
- Gus, I can't do this
with you right now.
470
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,359
Or ever, for that matter.
471
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,394
- Psst.
472
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,995
Guys. Over here.
473
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,797
- Nick Conforth?
474
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,599
- Why are you hiding?
475
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:00,733
- I don't like hospitals.
476
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:01,834
- Then why are you at one?
477
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,470
- In San Francisco, no less.
478
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,004
- I came to see Sam.
479
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,006
I was his instructor
at the Academy.
480
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,675
He was one of my best.
We're still close.
481
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:09,976
- So close that you're
hanging outside?
482
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,478
- Juliet kicked me out.
483
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:12,612
- Huh. Us too.
484
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,414
- Ah, that's not a coincidence.
485
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,483
Listen, I don't know how
to tell you this,
486
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,518
but she's hiding something.
487
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,020
- Juliet, my Juliet?
- Nick, you sound paranoid.
488
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,822
- Plus you're mixing horizontal
and vertical stripes.
489
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:23,923
- While hiding behind
a reindeer and a menorah.
490
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,592
- Hurts your credibility.
491
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:26,893
- It's theologically
incongruous.
492
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,595
- Look, Sam called me
yesterday.
493
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:29,896
He was adamant no one
could be trusted.
494
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,398
I said, what about
your partner?
495
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,832
He said, "Especially not her."
496
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,001
24 hours later, he's dead.
497
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:36,503
- No, no, he's not dead.
498
00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,004
- Sorry. Survivor's remorse.
499
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,774
- If this has anything to do
with my girlfriend--
500
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,643
- Fiancé.
- Fiancé,
501
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,011
you have to tell me everything
you know, Nick.
502
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:47,680
- Sam said he kept getting
these calls
503
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,482
from the same burner number.
504
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:50,917
Something about
"the crimes of Juliet."
505
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,685
He'd narrowed it down
to a signal
506
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,053
that was pinged off of a tower
near Highway 18.
507
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,755
He was gonna check it out.
508
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,857
Next thing I know,
Sam's been killed.
509
00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:59,526
- He's still breathing.
- Respirator.
510
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,594
- Yes, sorry.
That's on me.
511
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:03,530
Guys, you know I still
have my issues.
512
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,998
I crumble like pie crust
in the field.
513
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,967
I saw you coming in here
and I thought
514
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,637
maybe, hopefully, you could
check it out, since I can't.
515
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,605
- No chance in hell.
- Absolutely.
516
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,741
- Great. You guys are the best.
517
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,813
Go.
- What did I just say, Shawn?
518
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,949
- I don't know, something about
waxing Leeza Gibbons.
519
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,657
- Shawn, we've been walking
for an hour.
520
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,460
There's nothing around
for miles.
521
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,830
- Aha. What do you suppose
the range is
522
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,466
on that cell phone tower?
523
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:40,767
- There's nothing here
but woods, pollen,
524
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:41,968
and fruit bats.
525
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,603
- Ah, ah, ah, oh!
What's this?
526
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,472
Sunnyvale Mental Hospital.
527
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:48,508
- Uh, no. I'm not going to
another insane asylum, Shawn.
528
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:49,876
The sun is starting
to go down,
529
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:51,478
and all the good telescopes
are gonna be gone.
530
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:52,779
Dues are gonna be
doing eye-sneezes
531
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,813
all over the equipment.
532
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,682
- Man! All we have to do
533
00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:56,783
is go to the front desk
and ask if there's a patient
534
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,551
with cell phone access.
535
00:21:58,585 --> 00:21:59,886
That's it!
Then we're off to Mt. McCumber
536
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,754
where you can suck it.
- You suck it.
537
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:03,656
[together] * Suck it,
suck it, suck it *
538
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,025
* Come on, son
539
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:08,695
- The hell is an eye-sneeze?
540
00:22:08,728 --> 00:22:09,929
- Don't act like
you don't know.
541
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,798
[together] * Come on, son
542
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,633
* Come on, son
543
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:17,704
* Come on, son
544
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,572
- This is not the road, Shawn.
545
00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:20,940
- Well, it has to be the road,
546
00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:22,875
because there are
no other roads.
547
00:22:22,909 --> 00:22:24,877
[eerie music]
548
00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:27,647
*
549
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,648
What?
550
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,550
- Dude.
551
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:31,684
It says this place has been
closed for two years.
552
00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:33,019
- That's weird.
- Shawn,
553
00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:34,621
we need to get out of here.
554
00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:36,689
- Gus, don't be
the tender sweetness
555
00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:38,625
of a seasick
crocodile.
556
00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:42,629
We need...
557
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:44,831
to go in.
558
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,133
- [sighs]
559
00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:51,704
[fluttering]
560
00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:53,973
[cawing]
561
00:22:58,778 --> 00:23:00,146
[animal noises continue]
562
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:03,650
- What is that?
I know you hear that.
563
00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:05,952
What is that?
564
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,890
[chittering]
565
00:23:13,159 --> 00:23:14,661
Oh, my God.
566
00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:15,962
Are you playing Pokémon Go?
567
00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:17,797
- You know this is how
I manage my stress.
568
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:19,699
I'm trying to hatch
a ten-kilometer egg
569
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,167
and I'm pretty sure there might
be a Jigglypuff in there.
570
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,802
- Stop it.
- You stop it.
571
00:23:22,835 --> 00:23:24,003
- You stop it right now.
This is--
572
00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:28,941
Gus, somebody tapped
into the power lines.
573
00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:35,982
This used to be
the high-security ward.
574
00:23:36,015 --> 00:23:38,017
That's why they built it
originally as a submarine.
575
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:39,952
- It was never a submarine,
Shawn.
576
00:23:39,986 --> 00:23:41,588
- You don't know submarines.
577
00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:42,855
- I know you don't know.
I know that.
578
00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:48,628
[door creaking]
579
00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:00,973
Bad idea, Shawn.
- What do we think?
580
00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:02,942
- I say we slowly
start walking backwards
581
00:24:02,975 --> 00:24:04,611
so we never take our eyes
off of whatever poltergeist
582
00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,045
is making that glowing
over there,
583
00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:07,914
and then, we'll be
out of the demon's reach.
584
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,716
We wind-sprint
back to the car.
585
00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:11,117
I'll leave first because
my heart is the purest.
586
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:12,819
- It's definitely the blackest.
587
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:14,687
- My heart is not the--
- [moaning]
588
00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:17,056
- Dude, that sound
is not human.
589
00:24:17,089 --> 00:24:19,091
[scuffling]
590
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:20,827
- Agree to agree.
591
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:23,062
[snarling]
592
00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:24,263
[both scream]
593
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:27,133
[barking, growling]
594
00:24:27,867 --> 00:24:29,035
[door slams]
595
00:24:32,071 --> 00:24:34,841
[snarling]
[both screaming]
596
00:24:34,874 --> 00:24:37,243
- Shawn, I don't care what
that light is over there.
597
00:24:37,276 --> 00:24:39,045
There's no way we're gonna get
past that snapping--
598
00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,714
- [shrieks]
599
00:24:41,748 --> 00:24:43,750
Gus, whatever got Sam attacked
600
00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:44,817
is right around that corner.
601
00:24:44,851 --> 00:24:46,653
And it's so serious that
602
00:24:46,686 --> 00:24:48,020
the bad guys have a guard dog
on a pogo stick
603
00:24:48,054 --> 00:24:49,789
holding down the fort.
604
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:52,659
I need you to put on
your thinking helmet.
605
00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:54,794
- Man!
- I'll wait.
606
00:24:55,795 --> 00:24:57,263
- [grunts]
607
00:24:57,296 --> 00:24:59,298
- Chin strap.
608
00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:02,001
- [grunts]
609
00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:04,203
- You hear that?
- I don't hear anything, Shawn.
610
00:25:06,072 --> 00:25:08,007
- Exactly.
611
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,809
The pooch is gone.
612
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:12,178
And there's no sign
of another human being.
613
00:25:12,211 --> 00:25:14,981
The coast is clear.
614
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:17,216
[snarls]
[shrieks]
615
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:19,251
Damn it, Gus, is there
no end to this?
616
00:25:21,821 --> 00:25:24,757
[growling]
617
00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:26,859
[barking]
618
00:25:28,961 --> 00:25:29,829
Gus, wait a minute.
619
00:25:31,731 --> 00:25:33,766
That dog is a rescue.
- I don't care!
620
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,201
- It means the bad guys
who adopted him
621
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:36,803
trained him to be all ugly.
622
00:25:36,836 --> 00:25:38,204
- I still don't care, Shawn.
623
00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:40,907
- It means I can turn him.
- Into what?
624
00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:42,975
- Rescue dogs don't
have ugly hearts.
625
00:25:43,009 --> 00:25:45,244
- Shawn, there is no way
that dog doesn't eat your face.
626
00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:46,946
- Guys, don't be the C above
middle C
627
00:25:46,979 --> 00:25:48,247
in "Those Endearing
Young Charms."
628
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,816
I have seen three
and a half episodes
629
00:25:49,849 --> 00:25:50,917
of "The Dog Whisperer."
630
00:25:50,950 --> 00:25:52,819
- So?
- [hisses]
631
00:25:52,852 --> 00:25:54,286
[hisses]
- What are you doing?
632
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,055
- I'm doing what he does.
- Why would he do that?
633
00:25:56,088 --> 00:25:57,724
- Because it works.
- Will you stop it?
634
00:25:57,757 --> 00:25:58,858
- You should take off
your helmet.
635
00:25:58,891 --> 00:25:59,926
I'm pretty sure it's broken.
636
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,027
- [sighs]
637
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:02,995
- I got this.
638
00:26:05,765 --> 00:26:07,867
[creaking]
639
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:15,341
[grunts]
640
00:26:15,374 --> 00:26:18,344
[growling]
641
00:26:20,112 --> 00:26:21,147
[door latches]
642
00:26:22,281 --> 00:26:24,817
[snarls]
643
00:26:24,851 --> 00:26:27,987
- Hi.
Hi, buddy.
644
00:26:29,221 --> 00:26:32,959
Who's a good boy?
[hisses]
645
00:26:32,992 --> 00:26:35,094
Who's a sweet boy?
[hisses]
646
00:26:35,127 --> 00:26:37,396
Sit, sit.
[hisses]
647
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:39,999
[barking]
648
00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:42,101
Gus, Gus!
649
00:26:42,134 --> 00:26:44,303
I'm going to lose.
650
00:26:46,172 --> 00:26:47,406
What the hell is that?
651
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:49,308
- Cherry Chipotle
Turkey Jerky.
652
00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:50,943
- You've had that
the whole time?!
653
00:26:50,977 --> 00:26:52,311
- You know I'm
a nervous eater, Shawn.
654
00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:54,146
- Well, give it to me,
for the love of God!
655
00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:55,882
- What? You do realize this
stuff costs $19 an ounce?
656
00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:58,184
- I will pay you back!
- Come on, son.
657
00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:03,155
Try not to give him
the whole thing
658
00:27:03,189 --> 00:27:04,190
if you don't have to, Shawn.
659
00:27:04,223 --> 00:27:06,225
- Look. Look what I have.
660
00:27:06,258 --> 00:27:08,327
It's all for you, Damien.
- No.
661
00:27:09,328 --> 00:27:11,197
Shawn! It's not all for him!
662
00:27:11,831 --> 00:27:14,100
Aw, man.
- Gus, he likes it!
663
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:16,903
He likes it.
Come here.
664
00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:19,405
Oh, come here. Oh.
665
00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:21,107
Who has a heart full of love?
666
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:23,109
Did you like that jerky?
667
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:25,377
Oh, look, yeah.
Look at this, Gus.
668
00:27:25,411 --> 00:27:27,313
Get in here.
Sweet little man.
669
00:27:27,346 --> 00:27:30,082
Thought he was getting adopted
by a family with a house
670
00:27:30,116 --> 00:27:31,984
and a big backyard,
and he ends up here
671
00:27:32,018 --> 00:27:34,253
in some haunted, abandoned
mental asylum.
672
00:27:34,286 --> 00:27:35,922
- And the next thing you know,
he's eating $56 worth
673
00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:37,256
of organic jerky.
674
00:27:37,289 --> 00:27:38,991
- He doesn't deserve
a life like this.
675
00:27:39,025 --> 00:27:40,827
- I feel the same way
sometimes, Shawn.
676
00:27:45,097 --> 00:27:47,233
This is a bad idea, Shawn.
677
00:27:47,266 --> 00:27:50,236
[eerie music]
678
00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:52,338
*
679
00:27:52,371 --> 00:27:54,340
What the hell?
680
00:27:54,373 --> 00:27:55,975
- Gus, whoever did this,
681
00:27:56,008 --> 00:27:57,443
they have access
to the entirety
682
00:27:57,476 --> 00:27:59,211
of the San Francisco
Police Department.
683
00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:01,480
- Dude, Sam put his name
on his dongle.
684
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:03,049
- First time that hasn't
been funny to me.
685
00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:04,050
- Eh...
- You're right.
686
00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:06,385
It's not not-funny.
687
00:28:12,324 --> 00:28:14,160
- This is not good, Shawn.
688
00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:16,095
This is all of Juliet's
personal information.
689
00:28:16,128 --> 00:28:18,130
Surveillance photos--
they're spying on her.
690
00:28:18,164 --> 00:28:19,999
- You think she might be next?
691
00:28:22,401 --> 00:28:25,271
This document is called
"The Crimes of Juliet O'Hara."
692
00:28:25,304 --> 00:28:27,106
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
693
00:28:27,139 --> 00:28:28,307
- That's a killer title
for a Hallmark movie.
694
00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:29,942
- Gus, don't be ridiculous.
695
00:28:29,976 --> 00:28:31,477
Jules would never do
a Hallmark movie.
696
00:28:31,510 --> 00:28:33,412
"There's a demon
amongst you"?
697
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:35,114
"She must be judged."
698
00:28:35,147 --> 00:28:36,348
What?
699
00:28:36,382 --> 00:28:38,117
This manifesto basically
paints her
700
00:28:38,150 --> 00:28:39,919
as Harvey Keitel
from "Cop Land."
701
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:41,187
- He had an above-ground pool,
Shawn.
702
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,022
- Exactly.
None of this is true.
703
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:51,663
[tense music]
704
00:28:54,033 --> 00:29:01,173
*
705
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:02,909
- Anyone expecting a visitor?
706
00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:07,013
Perimeter check, now.
707
00:29:07,046 --> 00:29:09,181
Now!
708
00:29:09,882 --> 00:29:11,417
When I say things,
I want you to do them.
709
00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:12,518
That's why I'm the boss,
710
00:29:12,551 --> 00:29:13,886
and you're my henchpeople.
711
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,256
*
712
00:29:17,289 --> 00:29:19,191
- [growling]
Gus, I got to go back inside.
713
00:29:19,225 --> 00:29:20,426
- What?
- I forgot something.
714
00:29:20,459 --> 00:29:21,928
I'm not going back
alone, Shawn!
715
00:29:21,961 --> 00:29:23,329
- I'll meet you at the car.
- What?!
716
00:29:23,362 --> 00:29:25,197
Shawn!
- Just stick to the road.
717
00:29:25,231 --> 00:29:27,867
Keep clear of the moors!
Beware of the moon, Gus!
718
00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:37,509
Start the car!
Start the car!
719
00:29:37,543 --> 00:29:39,045
Start the car! Start the car!
720
00:29:39,078 --> 00:29:41,313
[engine revs]
721
00:29:42,314 --> 00:29:46,052
- Oh, my God,
what are you doing, Shawn?
722
00:29:46,085 --> 00:29:47,586
- I'm naming him Morrissey.
First name Steven.
723
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:49,255
- I'm not leaving with
that thing, Shawn.
724
00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:50,322
- Fine. I'll drive.
- Wh--argh!
725
00:29:50,356 --> 00:29:51,858
I got it! I got it!
726
00:29:51,891 --> 00:29:53,325
[together]
Don't touch that wheel!
727
00:29:53,359 --> 00:29:54,927
[together]
Don't touch your wheel!
728
00:29:54,961 --> 00:29:56,262
- It's too late.
I already touched mine.
729
00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:57,363
Ow!
- I know what I'm doing.
730
00:29:57,396 --> 00:29:58,965
Let me--
[dog barking]
731
00:29:58,998 --> 00:30:01,367
- Watch out.
- Hold the dog back, Shawn!
732
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,903
- You have a dog in the car.
Look, hands off.
733
00:30:03,936 --> 00:30:05,404
Look what's happening now.
734
00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:07,239
- I got it.
I know what to do, Shawn.
735
00:30:07,273 --> 00:30:09,876
I know what to do.
I got it, Shawn. I got it.
736
00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:11,310
- Are you familiar
with Einstein's
737
00:30:11,343 --> 00:30:12,879
definition of insanity?
738
00:30:12,912 --> 00:30:14,480
- The dog is blocking
my mirror, Shawn.
739
00:30:14,513 --> 00:30:16,382
- Blocking--why are you
using a mirror?
740
00:30:16,415 --> 00:30:18,317
It's pitch black out here.
- Your mama's pitch black.
741
00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:19,585
- We both wish
that were true.
742
00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:21,353
I don't know what
I mean by that.
743
00:30:21,387 --> 00:30:22,989
- Here we go, here we go.
I got it, Shawn.
744
00:30:23,022 --> 00:30:24,456
Bang it out, bang it out.
745
00:30:24,490 --> 00:30:26,258
Come on, Gus,
just bang it out.
746
00:30:26,292 --> 00:30:27,994
Bang it out, bang it out,
bang it out, bang it out.
747
00:30:28,027 --> 00:30:29,962
Bang it out, bang it out,
bang it out.
748
00:30:29,996 --> 00:30:32,899
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You should have it on this one.
749
00:30:32,932 --> 00:30:35,367
Okay, one more.
- Come on, come on.
750
00:30:35,401 --> 00:30:36,635
- I can see it, the light
at the end of the tunnel!
751
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:39,305
- Death to the world!
752
00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:43,475
- I'm glad you could find
a few moments to rest.
753
00:30:43,509 --> 00:30:44,944
Did you find anything?
754
00:30:44,977 --> 00:30:47,379
- I detected the scent
of black cherry,
755
00:30:47,413 --> 00:30:49,415
with a slight hint of chipotle.
756
00:30:52,518 --> 00:30:54,887
- We've been compromised.
757
00:30:54,921 --> 00:30:56,989
So I'm gonna have to speed
things up a little.
758
00:30:57,023 --> 00:31:00,626
And Christmas, my friends,
is about to come a bit early.
759
00:31:12,404 --> 00:31:12,838
[ominous music]
760
00:31:15,641 --> 00:31:22,648
*
761
00:31:29,055 --> 00:31:30,622
[dog barking]
- [gasps]
762
00:31:30,656 --> 00:31:32,024
- No, no, no, Chief!
763
00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:33,625
Don't shoot him!
Don't shoot him!
764
00:31:33,659 --> 00:31:34,927
He's a gift! He's a gift
for you and the family!
765
00:31:34,961 --> 00:31:36,662
- Aww, Mr. Spencer?
766
00:31:36,695 --> 00:31:38,430
What are you doing
at my house
767
00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:41,333
with an attack dog in
the middle of the night?
768
00:31:41,367 --> 00:31:42,668
- First of all, it's,
like, 9:00.
769
00:31:42,701 --> 00:31:44,703
What time do you go
to bed, Chief?
770
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,538
More importantly,
771
00:31:46,572 --> 00:31:48,407
we found Sam Sloane's
assailant.
772
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,942
He is at Sunnyvale
Psychiatric Hospital.
773
00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:51,443
We saw him, or at least
his shadow,
774
00:31:51,477 --> 00:31:53,079
and a couple other
scary shadows.
775
00:31:53,112 --> 00:31:55,547
It was terrifying.
- Well, did he see you?
776
00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:57,183
- Of course not. I'm like
a wraith in a London fog.
777
00:31:57,216 --> 00:31:59,018
- What about when you went
back and stole his dog?
778
00:31:59,051 --> 00:32:02,021
- You stole this dog?
- No. We liberated it.
779
00:32:02,054 --> 00:32:04,356
We liberated Morrissey,
didn't we? Yes, we did.
780
00:32:04,390 --> 00:32:06,625
And now he's yours.
Merry Christmas.
781
00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:08,160
Do you have, like,
a crate or something,
782
00:32:08,194 --> 00:32:09,461
just until he gets over
this whole
783
00:32:09,495 --> 00:32:10,729
attacking strangers thing?
784
00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:13,199
[barking]
[yelps]
785
00:32:13,232 --> 00:32:14,933
- [hisses]
786
00:32:18,070 --> 00:32:19,405
- Why didn't that work for me?
787
00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:20,739
- 'Cause you're
a dumbass, Shawn.
788
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:22,408
- Did you call O'Hara?
- Of course.
789
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:23,709
I've been calling her
and texting her.
790
00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:25,044
She's not responding
to anything.
791
00:32:25,077 --> 00:32:26,578
Why do you think we're here?
792
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:27,746
- You said to gift me
an attack dog.
793
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,081
- Sure, but that's ancillary.
794
00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:30,149
Are you coming with us or not?
795
00:32:30,182 --> 00:32:31,750
- Yes, of course.
796
00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,185
- Great. Now, would you
watch a movie of the week
797
00:32:33,219 --> 00:32:34,720
called "The Crimes
of Juliet O'Hara"?
798
00:32:38,024 --> 00:32:39,125
- It's right up here, Chief.
799
00:32:39,158 --> 00:32:40,592
Right through this...
800
00:32:45,697 --> 00:32:48,500
Spanish Prisoner'd again.
801
00:32:48,534 --> 00:32:50,702
Chief, I swear.
You gotta believe us.
802
00:32:50,736 --> 00:32:53,039
There was a whole bank
of monitors here,
803
00:32:53,072 --> 00:32:54,640
and they all had access
to your department's files.
804
00:32:54,673 --> 00:32:56,108
[door creaks]
- Dude, they're back.
805
00:32:56,142 --> 00:32:57,476
Let's get out of here.
806
00:32:57,509 --> 00:32:59,111
- Get out of here?
- Yes.
807
00:32:59,145 --> 00:33:00,546
- Mr. Guster, this is
my first field action
808
00:33:00,579 --> 00:33:02,214
in two years.
809
00:33:02,248 --> 00:33:04,116
Do you have any idea what
the chief of police does?
810
00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:05,651
- Yeah, they cut
ribbons and stuff.
811
00:33:05,684 --> 00:33:07,119
- Exactly.
812
00:33:07,153 --> 00:33:08,487
It's awful.
813
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,757
So, if you'll excuse me,
814
00:33:11,790 --> 00:33:14,660
I am going to go
shoot some bad guys.
815
00:33:14,693 --> 00:33:17,163
Come on.
816
00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:20,732
- Dude, what is the five-second
rule on--
817
00:33:20,766 --> 00:33:23,669
- Don't. Just don't.
818
00:33:23,702 --> 00:33:24,736
[yelps]
819
00:33:27,739 --> 00:33:29,641
[together] Freeze!
820
00:33:29,675 --> 00:33:31,143
- O'Hara?
- Chief?
821
00:33:31,177 --> 00:33:32,678
- What are you doing here?
822
00:33:32,711 --> 00:33:34,146
- I came here to help
Shawn and Gus.
823
00:33:34,180 --> 00:33:35,681
- Jules, we didn't
report this.
824
00:33:35,714 --> 00:33:38,050
- No, but you ran over
45 traffic cones,
825
00:33:38,084 --> 00:33:39,451
tripped four
silent gate alarms,
826
00:33:39,485 --> 00:33:40,819
and knocked over
a Cal-Trans trailer
827
00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:42,454
while you were
speeding away.
828
00:33:42,488 --> 00:33:43,822
[together] He was driving.
829
00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,524
- Okay, they believe that
Inspector Sloane
830
00:33:45,557 --> 00:33:47,193
was attacked
because of you,
831
00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:48,694
and that they found
some rambling manifesto
832
00:33:48,727 --> 00:33:50,196
called "The Juliet
O'Hara Crimes."
833
00:33:50,229 --> 00:33:51,730
- "The Crimes
of Juliet O'Hara."
834
00:33:51,763 --> 00:33:53,832
It sounds like an NBC show
the way you say it.
835
00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,201
- Where is this manifesto?
836
00:33:55,234 --> 00:33:56,702
- It's gone.
- Jules,
837
00:33:56,735 --> 00:33:58,637
I've been texting you
and calling you.
838
00:33:58,670 --> 00:34:00,206
Where have you been?
839
00:34:00,239 --> 00:34:01,707
- I asked you guys not
to meddle in this case.
840
00:34:01,740 --> 00:34:03,542
Please, just go home.
841
00:34:03,575 --> 00:34:05,077
You know what? No.
I am done being nice.
842
00:34:05,111 --> 00:34:06,245
Go home!
843
00:34:07,213 --> 00:34:09,148
Please. No. No please.
844
00:34:09,181 --> 00:34:10,616
No please! [stammering]
You know what?
845
00:34:10,649 --> 00:34:11,850
Just get out of here.
Go to your...
846
00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:14,086
planetarium party.
- Fine with me.
847
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,754
There's a telescope with
my right eye's name on it.
848
00:34:15,787 --> 00:34:17,223
- Yeah, fine.
849
00:34:18,357 --> 00:34:20,592
Just be careful, huh?
850
00:34:20,626 --> 00:34:23,329
Sweetheart.
851
00:34:23,362 --> 00:34:25,564
Your right eye has a name?
- D'Ontario.
852
00:34:25,597 --> 00:34:27,333
- What's the left eye?
- Lisa Lopes.
853
00:34:27,366 --> 00:34:29,601
- Walked right into that.
- You need to tighten it up.
854
00:34:32,238 --> 00:34:34,240
- Okay, what are the chances
that any of these dudes
855
00:34:34,273 --> 00:34:35,741
know how a baby is made?
856
00:34:35,774 --> 00:34:37,843
- [chuckles]
Hate all you want, Shawn.
857
00:34:37,876 --> 00:34:39,211
But those who look
to the stars
858
00:34:39,245 --> 00:34:41,147
are destined to find...
859
00:34:41,180 --> 00:34:44,883
[upbeat music]
860
00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:47,786
Oh, my gosh.
- Whoa.
861
00:34:47,819 --> 00:34:49,855
Okay, once and for all,
862
00:34:49,888 --> 00:34:52,224
please explain the thumb
to nostril thing to me.
863
00:34:52,258 --> 00:34:54,126
- It's my battle cry, Shawn.
864
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:55,894
I'm gonna go over there
and make that woman mine.
865
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,330
It gives me the split second
I need to plan my approach.
866
00:34:58,364 --> 00:35:00,766
- Sure.
867
00:35:00,799 --> 00:35:02,868
- Wait... what is happening?
868
00:35:02,901 --> 00:35:04,536
- I don't know.
869
00:35:04,570 --> 00:35:06,138
It would appear that
she's coming this way.
870
00:35:06,172 --> 00:35:07,206
- Well, that's not right.
Do you know her?
871
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:08,640
- Why would I know a woman
872
00:35:08,674 --> 00:35:10,142
in a "Nine Planet Solar System"
T-shirt?
873
00:35:10,176 --> 00:35:11,310
- Well, I don't know her,
Shawn,
874
00:35:11,343 --> 00:35:12,311
and she's ruining my approach.
875
00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:13,812
I am the hunter. Me.
876
00:35:13,845 --> 00:35:14,846
Cheetahs don't wait
for gazelles
877
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,382
to hop into their mouth.
878
00:35:16,415 --> 00:35:17,616
- Dude, I think you
might be the gazelle.
879
00:35:17,649 --> 00:35:18,850
- He-dee-ho.
- Hello.
880
00:35:18,884 --> 00:35:20,786
- My name is Burton Guster,
881
00:35:20,819 --> 00:35:22,388
and this is my partner,
White Privilege.
882
00:35:22,421 --> 00:35:24,923
- Eh, that's my bit.
- I'm Selene.
883
00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:27,893
It means "moon."
Is that business card for me?
884
00:35:27,926 --> 00:35:30,362
- You know it is.
Cell number's on the back.
885
00:35:30,396 --> 00:35:32,831
In pencil.
886
00:35:32,864 --> 00:35:34,666
- Wanna look?
887
00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:37,836
- I was hoping you'd never ask.
888
00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:40,172
- Well, that didn't
come out right.
889
00:35:46,678 --> 00:35:47,813
- Chief, I'm a good cop.
890
00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:49,415
- You're the best cop I have.
891
00:35:49,448 --> 00:35:51,683
- I may have an idea
who did this,
892
00:35:51,717 --> 00:35:53,919
but I am the only one
who can fix it.
893
00:35:53,952 --> 00:35:55,321
I need to go it alone.
894
00:35:55,354 --> 00:35:56,922
- The answer to that is no.
895
00:35:56,955 --> 00:35:58,790
- I wish I could be more
forthcoming with you,
896
00:35:58,824 --> 00:36:02,261
but Chief, I need you
to trust me.
897
00:36:02,294 --> 00:36:03,862
Please.
898
00:36:06,465 --> 00:36:08,300
- You have 24 hours.
899
00:36:08,334 --> 00:36:09,968
- If Sam wakes up,
I'll only need 12.
900
00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:11,837
I'm going to the hospital.
901
00:36:20,879 --> 00:36:23,782
- That's where it would be,
planet number nine.
902
00:36:23,815 --> 00:36:27,719
Obviously, if this telescope
were powerful enough.
903
00:36:27,753 --> 00:36:31,290
- I hate to correct you,
but Pluto's way over there.
904
00:36:31,323 --> 00:36:33,259
- Why would I be
pointing it at Pluto?
905
00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:34,793
- 'Cause you're showing me
the ninth planet.
906
00:36:34,826 --> 00:36:37,629
- Yes. I'm showing you Eris.
907
00:36:37,663 --> 00:36:38,930
- Eris?
908
00:36:38,964 --> 00:36:40,299
The dwarf planet?
909
00:36:40,332 --> 00:36:42,868
[laughs]
910
00:36:42,901 --> 00:36:44,770
Eris is stupid.
911
00:36:44,803 --> 00:36:46,972
Pluto is, has been, and will
always be the ninth planet.
912
00:36:47,005 --> 00:36:49,241
- Why would we make
Pluto a planet again?
913
00:36:49,275 --> 00:36:51,910
We've already rectified
that mistake.
914
00:36:51,943 --> 00:36:53,979
- "Mistake"?
915
00:36:54,012 --> 00:36:56,014
Hasn't Pluto been through
enough already?
916
00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:57,449
- Ohh...
917
00:36:57,483 --> 00:37:00,486
- Eris is bigger.
- By 15 miles.
918
00:37:00,519 --> 00:37:02,988
By your logic, why don't we
make everything a planet?
919
00:37:03,021 --> 00:37:04,890
Why don't we make
that Nativity Jesus a planet?
920
00:37:04,923 --> 00:37:06,758
- Why don't we make
your forehead a planet?
921
00:37:06,792 --> 00:37:08,794
- What?
922
00:37:11,863 --> 00:37:13,765
- * Merry Christmas,
merry Christmas *
923
00:37:13,799 --> 00:37:15,434
* But I think I'll miss
this one this year *
924
00:37:15,467 --> 00:37:17,469
- [gasps]
925
00:37:17,503 --> 00:37:19,805
- * But I think I'll miss
this one this year *
926
00:37:19,838 --> 00:37:22,808
* Merry Christmas,
merry Christmas *
927
00:37:22,841 --> 00:37:24,876
- [panting]
928
00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:27,913
- Did I read that
situation incorrectly?
929
00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:32,284
- Come on, son.
930
00:37:33,485 --> 00:37:35,787
We're leaving? Are you crazy?
931
00:37:35,821 --> 00:37:37,989
That's probably your best
chance ever at finding a wife!
932
00:37:44,062 --> 00:37:46,798
- Wheelchair to Admitting.
933
00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:50,302
We need a wheelchair at
Admitting please.
934
00:37:50,336 --> 00:37:53,305
- We need to clear
this area now, go.
935
00:37:53,339 --> 00:37:56,708
[solemn music]
936
00:37:56,742 --> 00:38:03,749
*
937
00:38:09,421 --> 00:38:11,523
[electronic beeping]
938
00:38:18,464 --> 00:38:20,499
[monitor flat-lining]
939
00:38:31,777 --> 00:38:32,411
- I'm so sorry about the delay.
940
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:36,114
The forensic report
was right here,
941
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:37,716
and somehow, my new assistant
managed to lose it already.
942
00:38:37,749 --> 00:38:40,719
- Found it!
Oh, false alarm.
943
00:38:40,752 --> 00:38:43,121
This is actually the new issue
of "Men's Health."
944
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:45,857
Wow, Ryan Reynolds
is more jacked than ever.
945
00:38:45,891 --> 00:38:47,859
You know, I used to be
a personal trainer.
946
00:38:47,893 --> 00:38:49,127
Oh. Hi, Shawn.
947
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,662
[gasps]
948
00:38:50,696 --> 00:38:53,599
[dramatic musical flourish]
949
00:38:53,632 --> 00:38:55,734
*
950
00:38:56,768 --> 00:38:58,136
- Oh, my God.
951
00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:00,939
- Yeah. Woody, what are
you doing here?
952
00:39:00,972 --> 00:39:02,107
- What? Don't look at me.
953
00:39:02,140 --> 00:39:03,775
- [stammering] I can explain.
954
00:39:03,809 --> 00:39:06,144
Thank God Karen
and Butterfly here
955
00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:08,614
have hearts the size
of Anchorage.
956
00:39:08,647 --> 00:39:09,915
- I voted no.
957
00:39:09,948 --> 00:39:11,717
- [snickering]
958
00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:13,785
She's so saucy.
I can't take it sometimes.
959
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:17,556
This is called an NBA hug.
960
00:39:17,589 --> 00:39:18,890
- Let's call it one-and-done.
961
00:39:18,924 --> 00:39:20,692
- Copy that.
962
00:39:20,726 --> 00:39:21,993
- Seriously, man,
what the hell happened?
963
00:39:22,027 --> 00:39:23,695
You were--you were
in Sacramento.
964
00:39:23,729 --> 00:39:25,731
You had season tickets
to the Kings.
965
00:39:25,764 --> 00:39:28,900
- Yeah, I got the gig
as head medical examiner
966
00:39:28,934 --> 00:39:30,636
for the State of California.
967
00:39:30,669 --> 00:39:32,671
Lassiter threw me a party
at Buca di Bepo.
968
00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:34,606
I got a condo with
a Japanese bidet
969
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,042
in both bathrooms and a urinal
in the foyer.
970
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:39,645
Mm. Those were halcyon times.
971
00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:41,647
- Then he got fired
for closing up a cadaver
972
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,882
with a chili dog
in the chest cavity.
973
00:39:43,915 --> 00:39:46,785
- Not... true.
974
00:39:46,818 --> 00:39:48,620
Butterfly.
975
00:39:48,654 --> 00:39:50,088
I got fired for opening
the cadaver back up
976
00:39:50,121 --> 00:39:51,823
to retrieve the chili dog
977
00:39:51,857 --> 00:39:55,727
because I took a working lunch.
- Ohh.
978
00:39:55,761 --> 00:39:57,095
- Wow.
- Yup.
979
00:39:57,128 --> 00:39:59,164
- But hey, here we all are.
980
00:39:59,197 --> 00:40:00,966
It's like no time
has passed at all.
981
00:40:00,999 --> 00:40:03,134
Look at you guys.
Look at me.
982
00:40:03,168 --> 00:40:04,936
Editor's note:
I have hemorrhoids.
983
00:40:04,970 --> 00:40:06,938
Thrombosis.
But they make pillows for that.
984
00:40:06,972 --> 00:40:09,140
- Far be it for me to rain
on this reunion,
985
00:40:09,174 --> 00:40:10,842
but could you please
shed some light
986
00:40:10,876 --> 00:40:13,078
on the murder of my partner?
987
00:40:13,111 --> 00:40:15,647
- Yes.
988
00:40:15,681 --> 00:40:17,683
I can tell you he was
asphyxiated.
989
00:40:17,716 --> 00:40:18,950
My guess is with a pillow.
990
00:40:18,984 --> 00:40:20,719
We're combing the body for DNA.
991
00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:22,988
At this point, I can say
with 100% certainty--
992
00:40:23,021 --> 00:40:25,156
- Burton Guster?
993
00:40:25,190 --> 00:40:26,658
- What the--
994
00:40:29,060 --> 00:40:32,130
- So anyone can come in
to the morgue now.
995
00:40:32,163 --> 00:40:33,765
Cool.
996
00:40:33,799 --> 00:40:34,900
- So weird.
What are the odds?
997
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:36,968
How have you been?
998
00:40:37,002 --> 00:40:38,704
Is that a dead body?
999
00:40:38,737 --> 00:40:39,771
- Yeah.
1000
00:40:39,805 --> 00:40:41,640
- Uh, so,
1001
00:40:41,673 --> 00:40:43,742
I was hoping to explain myself
from our date last night.
1002
00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:45,711
- That wasn't a date.
That was an assault.
1003
00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:46,945
Do you work here?
1004
00:40:46,978 --> 00:40:48,714
- Ew, no.
This place is gross.
1005
00:40:48,747 --> 00:40:49,848
But I did see
your cute Instagram post,
1006
00:40:49,881 --> 00:40:51,049
and I thought I'd pop by.
1007
00:40:51,082 --> 00:40:52,818
- You Instagrammed the morgue?
1008
00:40:52,851 --> 00:40:53,819
- I have followers
to think about, Shawn.
1009
00:40:53,852 --> 00:40:55,754
Excuse me.
1010
00:40:58,156 --> 00:40:59,791
- Who is this?
1011
00:40:59,825 --> 00:41:01,226
- That's the girl from
the telescope party.
1012
00:41:01,259 --> 00:41:03,161
- Oh, I'm so glad that
she's here with us.
1013
00:41:04,863 --> 00:41:06,131
- Okay, yeah--
- Shh.
1014
00:41:06,164 --> 00:41:08,099
Listen. I'ma be honest
with you, Burton.
1015
00:41:08,133 --> 00:41:11,102
I am an ambitious woman with
a lot to do in my life.
1016
00:41:11,136 --> 00:41:12,938
I don't have time
to mess around.
1017
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:15,073
I took your business card,
and I did my due diligence.
1018
00:41:15,106 --> 00:41:16,942
I checked you out
on LinkedIn,
1019
00:41:16,975 --> 00:41:18,744
Classmates.com,
BlackPlanet--
1020
00:41:18,777 --> 00:41:19,878
- BlackPlanet?
- I got a friend.
1021
00:41:19,911 --> 00:41:21,279
The point is, you passed.
1022
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:22,781
- Passed what?
- All of it.
1023
00:41:22,814 --> 00:41:24,215
All of it.
1024
00:41:24,249 --> 00:41:26,752
I choose you.
I choose you, Burton Guster.
1025
00:41:26,785 --> 00:41:28,920
- Is there a world in which I
walk you through what I was
1026
00:41:28,954 --> 00:41:30,822
doing when you guys got here?
- Please. I'm begging you.
1027
00:41:30,856 --> 00:41:32,758
- All right, so--
1028
00:41:32,791 --> 00:41:34,926
wait, there--there's something
lodged in the stomach.
1029
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,795
- [whispering]
She's not great.
1030
00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:37,896
- You don't even know me.
1031
00:41:37,929 --> 00:41:39,230
- I know all I need to know.
1032
00:41:39,264 --> 00:41:41,166
You like the sky, your mother,
safecracking,
1033
00:41:41,199 --> 00:41:43,669
a bakery called
Boom Boom Boom Muffins.
1034
00:41:43,702 --> 00:41:44,936
- [chuckles] That's all
on my business card.
1035
00:41:44,970 --> 00:41:46,271
- I know when you were
eight years old,
1036
00:41:46,304 --> 00:41:47,973
you won a contest for
doing a comic strip
1037
00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:50,041
about an Egyptian dog
that became Pharaoh.
1038
00:41:50,075 --> 00:41:52,177
- You know about
Mesopotamian Pomeranian?
1039
00:41:52,210 --> 00:41:54,212
- [sighs] I wish I
would've known you then.
1040
00:41:54,245 --> 00:41:57,115
I bet you were a dead ringer
for Bud on "The Cosby Show."
1041
00:41:57,148 --> 00:41:58,884
- [chuckles]
1042
00:41:58,917 --> 00:42:00,786
Look, you can't
follow me around,
1043
00:42:00,819 --> 00:42:02,788
research me, try to kiss me,
1044
00:42:02,821 --> 00:42:05,724
sniff my head, make me
feel uncomfortable--
1045
00:42:05,757 --> 00:42:08,026
- He's literally done all those
things since Thanksgiving.
1046
00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:10,228
- He's getting Gussed.
No wonder he doesn't like it.
1047
00:42:10,261 --> 00:42:12,831
- And yes, maybe your lips
are warm and soft
1048
00:42:12,864 --> 00:42:14,800
and taste like caramel,
1049
00:42:14,833 --> 00:42:16,935
but those lips are wrapped in
an electric blanket of crazy
1050
00:42:16,968 --> 00:42:18,203
set to medium-high,
1051
00:42:18,236 --> 00:42:19,337
and it doesn't
give you the right
1052
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:21,807
to invade my private cone.
1053
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,341
- Hm. Completely fair.
1054
00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:25,811
- Hm.
- I will leave you my resume.
1055
00:42:25,844 --> 00:42:26,878
- Your resume?
1056
00:42:26,912 --> 00:42:28,113
- Yes--my romantic history,
1057
00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:29,815
a few references.
1058
00:42:29,848 --> 00:42:31,282
I think you'll see I
check out quite nicely,
1059
00:42:31,316 --> 00:42:34,119
save possibly for a brief
dalliance with Lester Holt
1060
00:42:34,152 --> 00:42:37,155
and a semi-public rock-out
with Wilmer Valderrama,
1061
00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:38,957
but to be completely fair,
1062
00:42:38,990 --> 00:42:40,191
it was all under the shirt
1063
00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:41,727
but over the bra.
1064
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:43,094
Oh, and I also made you
1065
00:42:43,128 --> 00:42:44,362
this fluffernutter sandwich.
1066
00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:47,799
Your mother said it
was your favorite.
1067
00:42:47,833 --> 00:42:49,367
So, there you have it.
1068
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,903
- I'm gonna keep this
fluffernutter sandwich,
1069
00:42:51,937 --> 00:42:53,972
because I think it's rude
to waste food.
1070
00:42:54,005 --> 00:42:55,741
- I will circle back with you
1071
00:42:55,774 --> 00:42:57,342
once you've had a chance
to look over my materials.
1072
00:42:57,375 --> 00:43:00,111
But in the meantime...
1073
00:43:00,145 --> 00:43:01,913
get out!
- What?
1074
00:43:01,947 --> 00:43:04,349
You know, like the movie.
1075
00:43:04,382 --> 00:43:06,084
Okay, bye.
1076
00:43:06,117 --> 00:43:09,087
You know what?
I'm gonna go.
1077
00:43:13,191 --> 00:43:14,926
- Oh, well, this is new.
1078
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:15,994
- I know that dongle.
1079
00:43:16,027 --> 00:43:17,162
- [snickering]
1080
00:43:18,263 --> 00:43:19,765
- Let's hope it still works.
1081
00:43:19,798 --> 00:43:23,034
- Mine does not.
Not always.
1082
00:43:28,373 --> 00:43:30,041
- You should at least try
that sandwich, yeah?
1083
00:43:30,075 --> 00:43:31,843
- Get your own stalker, Shawn.
1084
00:43:33,211 --> 00:43:34,813
- Ugh.
1085
00:43:34,846 --> 00:43:36,848
It's completely wiped.
- Wait.
1086
00:43:36,882 --> 00:43:38,984
There's one file added
after the wipe.
1087
00:43:39,017 --> 00:43:41,987
[dramatic music]
1088
00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:47,993
*
1089
00:43:48,026 --> 00:43:49,895
- I don't know what
to tell you, Gus.
1090
00:43:49,928 --> 00:43:51,196
She took the file; she won't
show me the document.
1091
00:43:51,229 --> 00:43:52,964
I'm freaking out.
I mean, what if I'm
1092
00:43:52,998 --> 00:43:54,399
sleeping with Nick Nolte
from "Mulholland Falls"?
1093
00:43:54,432 --> 00:43:56,267
- [scoffs] Well, then you're
really getting
1094
00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:58,904
the short end of the stick,
"Mulholland Falls"-wise.
1095
00:43:58,937 --> 00:44:00,405
[both yelp]
1096
00:44:03,942 --> 00:44:05,243
- You know, it's funny.
1097
00:44:05,276 --> 00:44:06,912
When people steal from me,
1098
00:44:06,945 --> 00:44:08,880
they tend to run
much farther away.
1099
00:44:08,914 --> 00:44:10,248
- All right, all right.
1100
00:44:10,281 --> 00:44:11,883
Let's all be reasonable here.
1101
00:44:11,917 --> 00:44:13,351
He didn't mean
to steal from you.
1102
00:44:13,384 --> 00:44:15,186
He was just working a case.
1103
00:44:15,220 --> 00:44:17,355
- A case?
Who do you work for?
1104
00:44:19,124 --> 00:44:20,826
- I can't tell you that.
1105
00:44:20,859 --> 00:44:22,994
- Oh, boy. Shawn,
tell the man with the knife
1106
00:44:23,028 --> 00:44:24,095
who the client is.
1107
00:44:24,129 --> 00:44:26,231
- Ohhhh,
1108
00:44:26,264 --> 00:44:28,099
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to invoke, uh,
1109
00:44:28,133 --> 00:44:29,300
detective-client privilege.
1110
00:44:29,334 --> 00:44:31,336
- Who's the damn client, Shawn?
1111
00:44:31,369 --> 00:44:33,338
- I...
1112
00:44:33,371 --> 00:44:34,940
it's me.
1113
00:44:34,973 --> 00:44:36,341
It's me. I'm the client.
1114
00:44:36,374 --> 00:44:39,410
I am looking for
an engagement ring.
1115
00:44:39,444 --> 00:44:42,480
It's my ring, and it was stolen
from me while I was proposing.
1116
00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:45,316
- Are you kidding me?!
1117
00:44:45,350 --> 00:44:47,418
This guy--this guy right here--
1118
00:44:47,452 --> 00:44:49,120
he has ruined our business
1119
00:44:49,154 --> 00:44:50,956
because he keeps searching
for this damn ring
1120
00:44:50,989 --> 00:44:52,123
that he's never gonna find!
1121
00:44:52,157 --> 00:44:54,125
- Not true, Gus!
[whimpers]
1122
00:44:54,159 --> 00:44:55,994
May I just...
1123
00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:57,062
- I'm telling you, Shawn,
1124
00:44:57,095 --> 00:44:58,429
that ring is cursed!
1125
00:44:58,463 --> 00:45:01,867
- This ring is the opposite
of cursed.
1126
00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:04,335
Here it is. And I cannot
get married without it, sir.
1127
00:45:04,369 --> 00:45:06,104
- This ring is worthless.
- To you.
1128
00:45:06,137 --> 00:45:08,039
Sure. But to me,
it's everything.
1129
00:45:08,073 --> 00:45:09,474
- You ever considered that
1130
00:45:09,507 --> 00:45:11,176
maybe you're just
using the ring
1131
00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:14,079
as an excuse to cover
your fear of change?
1132
00:45:14,112 --> 00:45:16,081
- Thank you.
That's exactly what--
1133
00:45:16,114 --> 00:45:18,116
[screams]
1134
00:45:18,149 --> 00:45:21,086
- This isn't about you.
- Got it.
1135
00:45:21,119 --> 00:45:22,387
Please continue.
1136
00:45:22,420 --> 00:45:24,055
- The ring was
my grandmother's.
1137
00:45:24,089 --> 00:45:25,390
Right? It was supposed
to go to my dad,
1138
00:45:25,423 --> 00:45:27,025
But they often butted heads.
1139
00:45:27,058 --> 00:45:28,093
On the night before
his wedding,
1140
00:45:28,126 --> 00:45:29,227
she pulls the ring back.
1141
00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:30,261
So he had to scramble,
1142
00:45:30,295 --> 00:45:32,130
and he went into debt,
1143
00:45:32,163 --> 00:45:33,932
made a bunch of very poor
financial decisions
1144
00:45:33,965 --> 00:45:35,500
which ultimately resulted
in a divorce,
1145
00:45:35,533 --> 00:45:38,937
because he didn't
have that ring.
1146
00:45:38,970 --> 00:45:41,239
It's possible that I'm
editorializing,
1147
00:45:41,272 --> 00:45:43,374
but I'm not gonna make
the same mistake.
1148
00:45:45,110 --> 00:45:47,478
- Thank you for the answer.
1149
00:45:49,447 --> 00:45:50,916
Kill them.
1150
00:45:50,949 --> 00:45:52,250
- No, no! You can't kill us!
1151
00:45:52,283 --> 00:45:54,152
You can't kill us!
We just bonded!
1152
00:45:54,185 --> 00:45:56,154
You and me, like gentlemen.
- Business is business.
1153
00:45:56,187 --> 00:46:00,025
Plus, you now know that
my real name is Ted.
1154
00:46:01,559 --> 00:46:03,428
- [stutters] Only because
you just told me.
1155
00:46:03,461 --> 00:46:05,163
- I'm sorry about this,
but no one's going to miss
1156
00:46:05,196 --> 00:46:06,531
some lowly private detective.
1157
00:46:06,564 --> 00:46:09,500
- Time out.
Lowly? No.
1158
00:46:09,534 --> 00:46:12,503
I'll have you know I am the
preeminent psychic detective
1159
00:46:12,537 --> 00:46:14,572
in this whole alley, Jack.
1160
00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:16,441
- Psychic?
1161
00:46:16,474 --> 00:46:17,943
- That's right.
1162
00:46:17,976 --> 00:46:19,277
Please, take a look.
1163
00:46:22,513 --> 00:46:24,249
That's me, with the sweet hair.
1164
00:46:24,282 --> 00:46:25,583
- This makes no sense.
Why does a psychic
1165
00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:27,218
operate in the shop
from "Gremlins"?
1166
00:46:27,252 --> 00:46:30,221
- To potentially
meet Phoebe Cates.
1167
00:46:33,091 --> 00:46:35,360
- Okay.
1168
00:46:35,393 --> 00:46:37,195
Read me.
1169
00:46:37,228 --> 00:46:39,097
- Read you.
1170
00:46:47,238 --> 00:46:49,240
[humming]
1171
00:46:53,611 --> 00:46:55,113
Covfefe.
1172
00:46:56,514 --> 00:46:58,383
You like knives.
1173
00:46:58,416 --> 00:47:00,986
You like kittens.
1174
00:47:01,019 --> 00:47:02,520
You like...
1175
00:47:02,553 --> 00:47:05,290
Middle-aged...kittens.
1176
00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:06,992
- Mm-hmm. The past.
1177
00:47:07,025 --> 00:47:09,327
Anyone can read the past.
1178
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:10,528
- I got the kittens right?
1179
00:47:12,030 --> 00:47:13,398
- Tell me the future.
1180
00:47:13,431 --> 00:47:15,266
- Look.
1181
00:47:15,300 --> 00:47:17,235
Gus, he has own Ta-rote cards.
1182
00:47:17,268 --> 00:47:18,503
- Tarot cards.
1183
00:47:18,536 --> 00:47:20,205
- He just carries them
around with him.
1184
00:47:20,238 --> 00:47:21,639
That's not scary at all.
1185
00:47:21,672 --> 00:47:23,308
Shall we adjourn
1186
00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:25,410
to the Mahjong Room?
1187
00:47:26,544 --> 00:47:29,514
[light suspenseful music]
1188
00:47:29,547 --> 00:47:36,487
*
1189
00:48:02,313 --> 00:48:04,549
The Merle of Haggard.
1190
00:48:04,582 --> 00:48:06,217
- Merle of what?
1191
00:48:06,251 --> 00:48:09,054
- He foretells
of a dangerous situation.
1192
00:48:09,087 --> 00:48:11,556
It involves both a curb
1193
00:48:11,589 --> 00:48:13,258
and a bus.
1194
00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,665
I see a tax issue.
- I don't pay taxes.
1195
00:48:20,698 --> 00:48:22,567
- That's the issue.
1196
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:24,135
[gasps]
1197
00:48:26,671 --> 00:48:28,306
[gasps loudly]
1198
00:48:28,339 --> 00:48:29,440
Sorry.
1199
00:48:29,474 --> 00:48:30,508
Forgive me.
1200
00:48:30,541 --> 00:48:32,543
You must lay off the salt.
1201
00:48:32,577 --> 00:48:34,112
- Salt?
- Salt.
1202
00:48:34,145 --> 00:48:36,381
- Salt.
- Salt.
1203
00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:37,615
Gus...
1204
00:48:39,550 --> 00:48:41,652
- Okay. All right.
1205
00:48:41,686 --> 00:48:44,289
- So you're not
gonna cleave us?
1206
00:48:44,322 --> 00:48:46,724
- We'll see, won't we?
1207
00:48:53,631 --> 00:48:54,966
[tires screech]
1208
00:48:58,503 --> 00:49:01,472
[somber music]
1209
00:49:01,506 --> 00:49:08,446
*
1210
00:49:10,381 --> 00:49:13,184
- Uh...
1211
00:49:13,218 --> 00:49:14,485
how we doing, babe?
1212
00:49:14,519 --> 00:49:16,354
- Shawn, I owe you an apology.
1213
00:49:16,387 --> 00:49:18,389
I know I have been
acting strange
1214
00:49:18,423 --> 00:49:19,590
and icing you out,
1215
00:49:19,624 --> 00:49:21,526
but the truth is,
1216
00:49:21,559 --> 00:49:24,362
I'm scared, and I
need your help.
1217
00:49:24,395 --> 00:49:26,697
- You had us at Shawn.
1218
00:49:26,731 --> 00:49:29,734
- I used all of the cases
referenced in this manifesto
1219
00:49:29,767 --> 00:49:31,369
to create this board.
1220
00:49:31,402 --> 00:49:33,371
It is every suspect
that went away
1221
00:49:33,404 --> 00:49:35,073
for every crime mentioned.
1222
00:49:35,106 --> 00:49:37,442
- So these are the victims
of your supposed crimes?
1223
00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:39,744
- Yes. Now, I know,
what you're thinking.
1224
00:49:39,777 --> 00:49:41,079
And here's the thing.
1225
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,515
It's true.
1226
00:49:44,549 --> 00:49:47,118
Look, every single one
of these dirtbags
1227
00:49:47,152 --> 00:49:48,686
is guilty as sin.
1228
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,089
But I have done some things
1229
00:49:51,122 --> 00:49:54,392
that I am not necessarily
proud of.
1230
00:49:56,194 --> 00:49:57,762
- I've to pee since 2:00.
1231
00:49:57,795 --> 00:49:59,530
- Gus, it's 2:05.
- It doesn't matter, Shawn.
1232
00:49:59,564 --> 00:50:01,166
- It does matter.
We stopped specifically
1233
00:50:01,199 --> 00:50:02,500
on the way here so that
you could go pee.
1234
00:50:02,533 --> 00:50:04,102
- There was someone in there.
1235
00:50:04,135 --> 00:50:05,536
- There were 12 stalls.
- I don't care.
1236
00:50:05,570 --> 00:50:06,671
- When are you gonna get
a handle on this
1237
00:50:06,704 --> 00:50:08,073
bashful black bladder thing?
1238
00:50:08,106 --> 00:50:09,440
- You know what?
Do you, Shawn.
1239
00:50:11,742 --> 00:50:12,810
- I...
1240
00:50:12,843 --> 00:50:14,745
I fudged the rules.
1241
00:50:14,779 --> 00:50:17,515
I skipped some protocols to put
these dirtbags away, Shawn.
1242
00:50:17,548 --> 00:50:20,085
And now I feel like Sam's blood
is on my hands,
1243
00:50:20,118 --> 00:50:21,786
and I have no one to blame
but myself.
1244
00:50:21,819 --> 00:50:22,787
- Hey, hey, hey.
1245
00:50:22,820 --> 00:50:25,223
I love these hands.
1246
00:50:25,256 --> 00:50:27,525
Especially the right one,
because that's the one
1247
00:50:27,558 --> 00:50:28,793
I generally hold.
1248
00:50:28,826 --> 00:50:30,061
- I...
1249
00:50:30,095 --> 00:50:31,496
I like to walk on the left.
1250
00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:32,563
- You do like to walk
on the left.
1251
00:50:32,597 --> 00:50:33,664
You're a leftie walker.
1252
00:50:33,698 --> 00:50:35,533
They call that southfoot.
1253
00:50:35,566 --> 00:50:37,168
- I'm a southfoot.
- You're a southfoot.
1254
00:50:37,202 --> 00:50:39,070
Look, you have watched me
1255
00:50:39,104 --> 00:50:40,738
lie and cheat and steal
1256
00:50:40,771 --> 00:50:42,540
for the better part of what,
a decade?
1257
00:50:42,573 --> 00:50:45,476
All in the name
of catching bad guys.
1258
00:50:45,510 --> 00:50:47,612
You didn't do anything
illegal, am I right?
1259
00:50:48,846 --> 00:50:51,449
Then let's figure out who
the hell is doing this to you,
1260
00:50:51,482 --> 00:50:53,050
and put 'em away.
1261
00:50:56,887 --> 00:50:58,589
This is work time.
1262
00:50:58,623 --> 00:51:00,158
- [exhales] Okay.
1263
00:51:00,191 --> 00:51:02,760
All of these criminals
had a beef--
1264
00:51:02,793 --> 00:51:05,130
a technicality they
hoped would get them off.
1265
00:51:05,163 --> 00:51:06,831
The problem is that
none of them
1266
00:51:06,864 --> 00:51:09,134
should feel more slighted
than the other.
1267
00:51:09,167 --> 00:51:11,202
It's impossible to know
who is Sam's killer.
1268
00:51:11,236 --> 00:51:14,139
[evocative music]
1269
00:51:14,172 --> 00:51:21,179
*
1270
00:51:30,755 --> 00:51:31,789
- 'Cause it's none of them.
1271
00:51:31,822 --> 00:51:33,558
It's none of the perps.
1272
00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:37,094
It's your snitch.
1273
00:51:40,831 --> 00:51:42,633
- Billy McGoldrick?
1274
00:51:44,335 --> 00:51:45,870
He gave information
on all of them.
1275
00:51:45,903 --> 00:51:47,838
- What's his beef?
1276
00:51:47,872 --> 00:51:49,740
- I still sent him to jail.
1277
00:51:49,774 --> 00:51:51,542
- Well, obviously he's out.
1278
00:51:51,576 --> 00:51:53,211
And he's the one who's
been following you.
1279
00:51:55,913 --> 00:51:58,149
- Surveillance photos?
They're spying on her.
1280
00:51:59,850 --> 00:52:01,752
- Jules...
1281
00:52:01,786 --> 00:52:04,622
your house keys
were in your hand.
1282
00:52:04,655 --> 00:52:06,624
That picture was taken
from here, Gus.
1283
00:52:09,294 --> 00:52:10,628
Wait.
1284
00:52:13,764 --> 00:52:15,633
[camera shutter clicks]
1285
00:52:15,666 --> 00:52:17,235
Ah, no, actually, the picture
was taken from ac--
1286
00:52:21,906 --> 00:52:24,875
[dramatic musical flourish]
1287
00:52:24,909 --> 00:52:26,811
*
1288
00:52:28,679 --> 00:52:29,780
- I'll be damned.
1289
00:52:29,814 --> 00:52:31,249
- That's him!
1290
00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:38,823
Freeze!
1291
00:52:38,856 --> 00:52:41,826
[suspenseful music]
1292
00:52:41,859 --> 00:52:47,865
*
1293
00:52:47,898 --> 00:52:50,235
[gunshots]
1294
00:52:50,268 --> 00:52:52,703
- You betrayed me
and ruined my life!
1295
00:52:55,706 --> 00:52:56,974
- You were a snitch
and a criminal!
1296
00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,576
Of course she sold you out!
1297
00:52:58,609 --> 00:52:59,677
- Guys--
- And you killed Sam,
1298
00:52:59,710 --> 00:53:00,878
you son of a bitch!
1299
00:53:00,911 --> 00:53:02,780
- Yeah!
- Oh--oh, come on.
1300
00:53:02,813 --> 00:53:04,282
Sammy's not even d--
oh, bloody hell, he is dead.
1301
00:53:04,315 --> 00:53:05,983
Well, look, I wish
I'd killed him!
1302
00:53:06,016 --> 00:53:08,319
But that honor went to
my beautiful new associate--
1303
00:53:08,353 --> 00:53:09,620
- Heather Rockrear.
1304
00:53:09,654 --> 00:53:10,988
- Heather Rockrear?
1305
00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:12,757
- What? That's what
we're calling her.
1306
00:53:12,790 --> 00:53:14,692
And the brother's the Black
Gentleman Dandy.
1307
00:53:14,725 --> 00:53:16,227
- That's correct, Gus.
And you're the Thin White Duke!
1308
00:53:16,261 --> 00:53:17,928
- You're spot on.
1309
00:53:17,962 --> 00:53:19,830
- Eh, well...
1310
00:53:19,864 --> 00:53:21,632
- What?
1311
00:53:21,666 --> 00:53:22,967
- Look, man, I hate
to break it to you.
1312
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:24,835
You don't sound anything
like David Bowie.
1313
00:53:24,869 --> 00:53:26,971
- No.
- [stammering] Well, hang on.
1314
00:53:27,004 --> 00:53:28,973
Nobody sounds like David Bowie
but David Bowie, full stop.
1315
00:53:29,006 --> 00:53:31,709
- Well, I think Jemaine Clement
has a pretty good Bowie.
1316
00:53:31,742 --> 00:53:33,244
- Yup.
- Look, psychic boy
1317
00:53:33,278 --> 00:53:34,812
and Magic Head,
1318
00:53:34,845 --> 00:53:36,714
Juliet, I would love to kill
all three of you
1319
00:53:36,747 --> 00:53:38,316
right now, but unfortunately,
1320
00:53:38,349 --> 00:53:39,884
I've already promised I won't
do that yet.
1321
00:53:39,917 --> 00:53:40,985
And unlike you,
1322
00:53:41,018 --> 00:53:42,720
I keep my promises.
1323
00:53:42,753 --> 00:53:43,888
[gunshots]
1324
00:53:46,724 --> 00:53:48,893
- [screaming]
1325
00:53:48,926 --> 00:53:50,728
- Promises?
What are you talking about?
1326
00:53:50,761 --> 00:53:52,763
- Oh, come on, Jack.
Let's not ruin the ending.
1327
00:53:52,797 --> 00:53:54,365
- Hey!
1328
00:53:54,399 --> 00:53:55,666
I'll be doing all the
jack-tagging around here,
1329
00:53:55,700 --> 00:53:56,734
okay, Jack?
1330
00:53:56,767 --> 00:53:58,369
- Drop the gun!
1331
00:54:02,773 --> 00:54:04,809
- Nice, babe.
That's nice. That's clean.
1332
00:54:04,842 --> 00:54:07,345
- I have just one thing
to say...
1333
00:54:07,378 --> 00:54:10,315
always have a plan B.
1334
00:54:13,050 --> 00:54:14,251
Ha!
1335
00:54:17,722 --> 00:54:19,357
[clicking]
1336
00:54:19,390 --> 00:54:20,891
- That couldn't have been
what you were going for.
1337
00:54:20,925 --> 00:54:22,460
You check the batteries
in the remote?
1338
00:54:22,493 --> 00:54:23,994
- Bloody hell.
Uh, the plan was,
1339
00:54:24,028 --> 00:54:25,763
I was gonna do a flippy-do
into here,
1340
00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:27,765
hit the button,
massive metal door
1341
00:54:27,798 --> 00:54:29,400
just like, sha-kunks down.
1342
00:54:29,434 --> 00:54:31,302
You know, like in
"Empire Strikes Back."
1343
00:54:31,336 --> 00:54:33,504
Now it's busted, and I'm
really embarrassed.
1344
00:54:33,538 --> 00:54:34,972
- You have the right
to remain silent.
1345
00:54:35,005 --> 00:54:36,273
- Yahtzee!
1346
00:54:38,509 --> 00:54:39,910
- Wait!
1347
00:54:41,846 --> 00:54:44,382
Damn it, we walked
right into that.
1348
00:54:44,415 --> 00:54:45,683
It was kinda dope, though.
1349
00:54:45,716 --> 00:54:47,051
- Let's go.
- Yeah.
1350
00:54:53,424 --> 00:54:55,360
- Lord, I'm gonna pay
a steep price
1351
00:54:55,393 --> 00:54:57,728
for what I'm about
to do to my body.
1352
00:54:57,762 --> 00:55:00,931
- Hey, Gus, come check out
this douchebag in the hat.
1353
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:03,901
- Shawn!
1354
00:55:03,934 --> 00:55:05,803
- Oh, my God.
1355
00:55:05,836 --> 00:55:08,706
My dad's having a full-on
seven-eighths life crisis.
1356
00:55:08,739 --> 00:55:10,074
Dad, I specifically told you
1357
00:55:10,107 --> 00:55:11,409
to dress for dinner,
1358
00:55:11,442 --> 00:55:12,843
not Adam Levine's funeral.
1359
00:55:12,877 --> 00:55:14,479
- I'm allowed to evolve, Shawn.
1360
00:55:14,512 --> 00:55:15,713
- Is that scarf tweed?
1361
00:55:15,746 --> 00:55:16,881
- I'll be honest, Pop.
1362
00:55:16,914 --> 00:55:17,948
I have been actively shopping
1363
00:55:17,982 --> 00:55:19,850
for a walk-in tub
1364
00:55:19,884 --> 00:55:21,919
and something called a Rascal
for you for Christmas.
1365
00:55:21,952 --> 00:55:23,854
There is no way that you think
this outfit is appropriate.
1366
00:55:23,888 --> 00:55:25,956
- Shawn, exactly how old
do you think I am?
1367
00:55:25,990 --> 00:55:27,992
- I know it starts with one.
1368
00:55:28,025 --> 00:55:30,060
- Yep, it's definitely tweed.
- Why do you own a ukulele?
1369
00:55:30,094 --> 00:55:32,062
- Would you please stay out
of my stuff,
1370
00:55:32,096 --> 00:55:33,998
and if you must know,
1371
00:55:34,031 --> 00:55:35,833
I recently learned "The Remedy"
from Oliver and Angus.
1372
00:55:35,866 --> 00:55:38,068
- Oliver and Angus?
1373
00:55:38,102 --> 00:55:40,438
- Yes, they work at FOMO
next to my loft building.
1374
00:55:40,471 --> 00:55:41,739
- Did you hear that, Gus?
1375
00:55:41,772 --> 00:55:43,474
Oliver and Angus work at FOMO.
1376
00:55:44,842 --> 00:55:46,477
What--I saw you
five months ago.
1377
00:55:46,511 --> 00:55:48,446
What happened?
- I bought my retirement loft
1378
00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:50,515
with an unobstructed view
of my boat.
1379
00:55:50,548 --> 00:55:51,982
I did not plan that the area
would gentrify
1380
00:55:52,016 --> 00:55:53,851
as quickly as it did,
1381
00:55:53,884 --> 00:55:55,586
but rather than getting all
Scroogey about it,
1382
00:55:55,620 --> 00:55:57,955
I stayed fluid.
1383
00:55:57,988 --> 00:55:59,857
- Show me your belly button
and prove you're my father.
1384
00:55:59,890 --> 00:56:01,392
- Man, some of us are eating.
1385
00:56:02,893 --> 00:56:03,861
- Hey, Juliet.
1386
00:56:03,894 --> 00:56:06,096
- Henry.
1387
00:56:06,130 --> 00:56:07,465
What a surprise.
1388
00:56:07,498 --> 00:56:08,966
- Um--
- Hey.
1389
00:56:08,999 --> 00:56:10,067
If somebody makes my
future daughter-in-law
1390
00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:11,602
a target, you can bet your ass
1391
00:56:11,636 --> 00:56:13,137
I'm not staying home
for Christmas,
1392
00:56:13,170 --> 00:56:16,173
plus there's a drum circle
down at Union Square
1393
00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:18,042
that I'm already
kinda committed to.
1394
00:56:18,075 --> 00:56:20,044
- Is this a cricket bat?
1395
00:56:20,077 --> 00:56:21,546
- You should've stayed home.
1396
00:56:21,579 --> 00:56:23,080
Whatever this psycho
McGoldrick is up to,
1397
00:56:23,113 --> 00:56:25,450
he wants me, not you--
any of you.
1398
00:56:25,483 --> 00:56:27,051
- McGoldrick? The ginger
who works at the baths
1399
00:56:27,084 --> 00:56:29,019
down at the Funkzone,
he's behind all this?
1400
00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:30,588
- No, Dad.
Not that McGoldrick.
1401
00:56:30,621 --> 00:56:32,557
This one's one of Juliet's
snitches.
1402
00:56:32,590 --> 00:56:33,891
Said he promised someone else
he wasn't gonna kill her,
1403
00:56:33,924 --> 00:56:35,960
so the question's who and why.
1404
00:56:35,993 --> 00:56:37,194
- Puts us back
to square one.
1405
00:56:37,227 --> 00:56:39,497
Countless perps
with axes to grind.
1406
00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:41,031
- Yeah, but he knows
who we are too.
1407
00:56:41,065 --> 00:56:42,933
That rapscallion
called me Magic Head.
1408
00:56:42,967 --> 00:56:44,401
- Well, he picked on
the wrong family.
1409
00:56:47,472 --> 00:56:49,039
- [clears throat]
1410
00:56:50,508 --> 00:56:52,109
- Shawn, that would be
your cue.
1411
00:56:52,142 --> 00:56:53,644
- Yeah, I know my cue, Pop.
1412
00:56:53,678 --> 00:56:55,513
This isn't 2010, okay?
1413
00:56:55,546 --> 00:56:57,181
I can read my own
girlfriend.
1414
00:56:57,214 --> 00:56:58,649
I know when she needs to be
comforted, et cetera.
1415
00:56:58,683 --> 00:57:00,150
- Fiancé.
- That's what I said.
1416
00:57:00,184 --> 00:57:01,919
- No. You said girlfriend.
1417
00:57:01,952 --> 00:57:04,021
- It's semantics.
- It's not semantics, Shawn.
1418
00:57:04,054 --> 00:57:05,656
- Y...
1419
00:57:05,690 --> 00:57:07,992
you ate all the Quatro
Quesos Dos Fritos?!
1420
00:57:08,025 --> 00:57:10,427
- Yes, and now I pray for dawn.
1421
00:57:12,229 --> 00:57:14,031
- It's my problem, Shawn.
1422
00:57:14,064 --> 00:57:15,833
- Sweetheart, you keep
saying that; it's ridiculous.
1423
00:57:15,866 --> 00:57:17,468
Since when is a psychopath
trying to kill you
1424
00:57:17,502 --> 00:57:18,936
just your problem?
1425
00:57:18,969 --> 00:57:20,104
- It's more complicated
than that.
1426
00:57:20,137 --> 00:57:21,672
- It's not. It's--it's not.
1427
00:57:21,706 --> 00:57:23,207
And it's certainly
not more complicated
1428
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:24,575
than me designing
the psychphrancisco office
1429
00:57:24,609 --> 00:57:26,611
with a "Gremlins" motif.
1430
00:57:26,644 --> 00:57:29,046
And you signed off
when no one else would.
1431
00:57:29,079 --> 00:57:30,581
No one else got it.
1432
00:57:30,615 --> 00:57:32,149
Except for you.
1433
00:57:32,182 --> 00:57:35,219
You always have my back.
1434
00:57:35,252 --> 00:57:36,987
Because that's how we do it.
1435
00:57:37,021 --> 00:57:40,090
We take on these--
these crazy obstacles, right?
1436
00:57:40,124 --> 00:57:42,993
And--and we come at it together
and we work through it,
1437
00:57:43,027 --> 00:57:44,061
because we are an us.
1438
00:57:44,094 --> 00:57:45,062
We are a we.
1439
00:57:45,095 --> 00:57:46,497
We are--we are lovers
1440
00:57:46,531 --> 00:57:47,698
in the nighttime.
1441
00:57:47,732 --> 00:57:50,535
- Are we? Do we?
Should we?
1442
00:57:50,568 --> 00:57:53,203
- I don't know, you're--
you're Dr. Suessing me now.
1443
00:57:53,237 --> 00:57:55,005
I don't even know--what am I
supposed to do with that?
1444
00:57:55,039 --> 00:57:57,107
- Sorry, I'm just really
wound up right now.
1445
00:57:57,141 --> 00:57:59,243
- Maybe...
1446
00:57:59,276 --> 00:58:01,946
I should help you unwind.
1447
00:58:01,979 --> 00:58:03,581
Huh? Maybe?
1448
00:58:03,614 --> 00:58:05,249
Maybe a little bit of bacon?
1449
00:58:05,282 --> 00:58:08,519
- [laughs]
That's very sweet of you.
1450
00:58:09,954 --> 00:58:11,488
But I'm gonna go outside
and get some air.
1451
00:58:12,289 --> 00:58:13,891
- Okay.
1452
00:58:13,924 --> 00:58:16,126
- You should try
to get some sleep.
1453
00:58:20,565 --> 00:58:23,534
[soft dramatic music]
1454
00:58:23,568 --> 00:58:24,735
*
1455
00:58:24,769 --> 00:58:28,505
[phone ringing]
1456
00:58:30,174 --> 00:58:31,141
- Hey there, partner.
1457
00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:32,577
- Hey, Carlton.
1458
00:58:32,610 --> 00:58:34,111
I'm sorry to bother you
so late.
1459
00:58:34,144 --> 00:58:35,946
- I talked to Henry.
1460
00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:37,648
I'm so sorry to hear
about Sam.
1461
00:58:37,682 --> 00:58:39,617
- It was my fault, Carlton.
1462
00:58:39,650 --> 00:58:41,218
- I highly doubt that.
1463
00:58:41,251 --> 00:58:42,753
- No, it was.
1464
00:58:42,787 --> 00:58:44,989
I colored outside the lines.
1465
00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:46,624
- I see.
1466
00:58:46,657 --> 00:58:48,626
But I'm not your priest,
O'Hara.
1467
00:58:48,659 --> 00:58:51,061
Besides, we're cops,
not saints.
1468
00:58:51,095 --> 00:58:53,163
- But you are a saint.
1469
00:58:53,197 --> 00:58:55,299
And you taught me
to be one too.
1470
00:58:55,332 --> 00:58:58,102
- Listen to me,
I took an oath
1471
00:58:58,135 --> 00:59:00,938
to put the lives of strangers
before my own.
1472
00:59:00,971 --> 00:59:03,273
Meanwhile, I have a daughter
who says a little prayer
1473
00:59:03,307 --> 00:59:05,109
every morning
asking Jesus to please
1474
00:59:05,142 --> 00:59:06,343
let her daddy make
it home for dinner.
1475
00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:08,312
So, yes, I believe in a code.
1476
00:59:08,345 --> 00:59:10,214
But I also believe in doing
whatever it takes
1477
00:59:10,247 --> 00:59:12,282
to make sure bad people
don't hurt good people.
1478
00:59:12,316 --> 00:59:14,985
Sometimes that means
getting creative.
1479
00:59:15,019 --> 00:59:16,721
- I think I created a monster.
1480
00:59:16,754 --> 00:59:18,756
- Well, if you created
the son of a bitch,
1481
00:59:18,789 --> 00:59:22,059
then you can take him out.
I'll be there by morning.
1482
00:59:22,092 --> 00:59:25,295
- Absolutely not.
I can clean up my own messes.
1483
00:59:25,329 --> 00:59:27,097
- Man, I know what you can do.
1484
00:59:27,131 --> 00:59:28,799
You be careful out there.
1485
00:59:28,833 --> 00:59:31,235
And tell Spencer
to keep sucking it.
1486
00:59:31,268 --> 00:59:33,971
Like, keep at it.
Do not stop.
1487
00:59:34,004 --> 00:59:36,206
- [chuckles]
Will do.
1488
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,709
Please give my best
to your girls.
1489
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:47,584
- [whining]
1490
00:59:49,253 --> 00:59:52,189
[eerie music]
1491
00:59:52,222 --> 00:59:59,229
*
1492
01:00:00,731 --> 01:00:03,067
[clattering]
1493
01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:04,268
- [whispering] Jules?
1494
01:00:04,301 --> 01:00:11,308
*
1495
01:00:16,681 --> 01:00:17,648
Gus!
1496
01:00:17,682 --> 01:00:19,850
Wake up!
1497
01:00:19,884 --> 01:00:21,786
Gus, wake up!
I think someone's here!
1498
01:00:21,819 --> 01:00:23,721
Gus!
1499
01:00:23,754 --> 01:00:25,322
Gus, wake up!
1500
01:00:29,326 --> 01:00:30,861
Freeze!
1501
01:00:30,895 --> 01:00:33,063
- Hey, Shawn.
- Mary?
1502
01:00:33,097 --> 01:00:35,733
Wait... Mary?
1503
01:00:35,766 --> 01:00:37,334
- Just a little amuse-bouche.
1504
01:00:37,367 --> 01:00:39,269
I uncorked a Malbec
and I crafted a cheese board.
1505
01:00:39,303 --> 01:00:40,671
Heavy on the manchego for you,
1506
01:00:40,705 --> 01:00:43,073
sans anything blue for me.
1507
01:00:43,107 --> 01:00:44,875
It crumbles.
1508
01:00:44,909 --> 01:00:46,243
I don't care for that.
1509
01:00:47,311 --> 01:00:48,412
Have a slab.
1510
01:00:48,445 --> 01:00:51,148
- I...
1511
01:00:51,181 --> 01:00:53,250
[shimmering tone]
1512
01:00:53,283 --> 01:00:54,819
- Stay gold.
1513
01:00:54,852 --> 01:00:57,154
- [exhales]
1514
01:00:57,187 --> 01:00:59,256
[scoffs] I'm dreaming.
1515
01:00:59,289 --> 01:01:01,091
God. [chuckles]
1516
01:01:01,125 --> 01:01:02,326
You scared me, man.
1517
01:01:02,359 --> 01:01:04,128
- You look handsome.
1518
01:01:04,161 --> 01:01:06,797
Leathery.
- Oh, get out of here.
1519
01:01:06,831 --> 01:01:08,165
You haven't aged a day.
1520
01:01:08,198 --> 01:01:09,233
- Come on, live fast,
die young,
1521
01:01:09,266 --> 01:01:10,467
leave a soft-faced corpse.
1522
01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:13,170
Shawn.
[sighs]
1523
01:01:13,203 --> 01:01:15,773
Do I look like
Richard Thomas to you?
1524
01:01:15,806 --> 01:01:17,207
- John-Boy Richard Thomas?
1525
01:01:17,241 --> 01:01:18,776
- There are those beyond
the Pearly Gates
1526
01:01:18,809 --> 01:01:19,910
that think there's
a resemblance,
1527
01:01:19,944 --> 01:01:23,781
and I don't see it, friend.
1528
01:01:23,814 --> 01:01:26,250
How's your girl?
- She's good.
1529
01:01:26,283 --> 01:01:28,185
She's, uh...
she's got a lot going on...
1530
01:01:28,218 --> 01:01:29,286
- Mm.
- Right now.
1531
01:01:29,319 --> 01:01:30,487
It's...
- Good.
1532
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,189
- It's complicated.
- Oh.
1533
01:01:32,222 --> 01:01:34,491
Yeah.
- If I don't find that ring,
1534
01:01:34,524 --> 01:01:35,726
I am gonna blow it with her
1535
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:37,227
all over again, man.
1536
01:01:37,261 --> 01:01:38,262
- Oh, Shawn.
1537
01:01:39,930 --> 01:01:41,131
I know what you need.
1538
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:44,769
- Oh, no.
Not--I don't--
1539
01:01:44,802 --> 01:01:45,936
Mary, easy.
1540
01:01:45,970 --> 01:01:47,104
Mary...
1541
01:01:48,973 --> 01:01:52,209
- * I've lost my mind
1542
01:01:52,242 --> 01:01:56,180
* On what I'd find
1543
01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:58,749
* All of the pressures
that I left behind *
1544
01:01:58,783 --> 01:02:01,385
* On Allison Road
1545
01:02:03,854 --> 01:02:05,756
- Warm drawn butter.
- I know.
1546
01:02:05,790 --> 01:02:08,492
both: * Fools in the rain
1547
01:02:08,525 --> 01:02:11,929
* If the sun gets through
1548
01:02:11,962 --> 01:02:14,832
* Fires in the Heaven
of the eyes I knew *
1549
01:02:14,865 --> 01:02:17,868
* On Allison Road
1550
01:02:17,902 --> 01:02:19,469
- You were right.
1551
01:02:19,503 --> 01:02:21,305
The Gin Blossoms is exactly
what I needed.
1552
01:02:21,338 --> 01:02:23,507
- * Dark clouds file,
the moon is near *
1553
01:02:23,540 --> 01:02:26,243
[together] * Birds fly by a.m.
in her bedroom stare *
1554
01:02:26,276 --> 01:02:28,946
* There's no telling
what I might find *
1555
01:02:28,979 --> 01:02:34,751
* I couldn't see I was
lost at the time *
1556
01:02:35,886 --> 01:02:38,555
both: * Jingle jangle dingle
dangle jingle jangle ding *
1557
01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:41,391
* Jingle jongle dingle dongle
Allison Road *
1558
01:02:41,425 --> 01:02:44,161
* Jingle jangle dingle dangle
jingle jangle ding *
1559
01:02:44,194 --> 01:02:47,164
* Jingle jongle dingle dongle
Allison Road *
1560
01:02:47,197 --> 01:02:50,434
- * I can see I was
lost at the time... *
1561
01:02:50,467 --> 01:02:52,336
- [gasps]
1562
01:02:52,369 --> 01:02:55,505
Wait for it...
1563
01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:57,274
- Could you please
keep it down?!
1564
01:02:57,307 --> 01:02:59,176
I am trying to meditate.
1565
01:02:59,209 --> 01:03:01,178
- What is that?
Why is he doing that?
1566
01:03:01,211 --> 01:03:02,379
- Why is he here? Why is--
- What is that?
1567
01:03:02,412 --> 01:03:03,380
This is my dream!
1568
01:03:03,413 --> 01:03:04,548
- This isn't for you.
1569
01:03:04,581 --> 01:03:07,952
- Is nothing sacred anymore?!
1570
01:03:07,985 --> 01:03:09,453
- Fine.
1571
01:03:09,486 --> 01:03:15,259
both: * On Allison Road
1572
01:03:15,292 --> 01:03:18,228
- Whoo-hoooo...
- Shawn.
1573
01:03:18,262 --> 01:03:19,563
Shawn!
1574
01:03:19,596 --> 01:03:21,431
Shawn!
- [screams]
1575
01:03:21,465 --> 01:03:23,433
- Would you stop singing
and wake up?
1576
01:03:23,467 --> 01:03:24,835
It's morning.
1577
01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:30,007
- I got to feed the pony.
1578
01:03:34,044 --> 01:03:36,013
[phone ringing]
- Ugh.
1579
01:03:41,618 --> 01:03:43,620
Stop calling me, Mischa.
I'm out.
1580
01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:46,023
Vandalizing cars? Petty theft?
1581
01:03:46,056 --> 01:03:48,325
You're rich and bored,
and it's gross.
1582
01:03:48,358 --> 01:03:50,961
And by the way, everyone knows
you stuff your bra.
1583
01:03:53,063 --> 01:03:55,399
- Well, John Hughes,
eat your heart out.
1584
01:03:55,432 --> 01:03:57,067
I mean, I wish I had
that kind of courage
1585
01:03:57,101 --> 01:03:58,268
when I was your age.
1586
01:03:58,302 --> 01:03:59,469
Bravo.
1587
01:03:59,503 --> 01:04:00,537
- Thanks, but I'm
not really cool
1588
01:04:00,570 --> 01:04:02,072
with talking to strangers.
1589
01:04:02,106 --> 01:04:03,507
- Fair enough.
I'll do all the talking.
1590
01:04:10,014 --> 01:04:11,215
- I'm surprised you got here
before Juliet, Chief,
1591
01:04:13,283 --> 01:04:14,418
considering how much closer
she is to your daughter,
1592
01:04:14,451 --> 01:04:16,286
- Don't worry, she'll be here.
1593
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:17,654
And she still has
seven minutes.
1594
01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:19,123
- Do I look worried?
1595
01:04:19,156 --> 01:04:22,292
I'm wearing ladies' makeup
right now.
1596
01:04:22,326 --> 01:04:24,228
Ah, the belle of the ball.
1597
01:04:24,261 --> 01:04:26,330
Just in time.
1598
01:04:27,965 --> 01:04:29,666
- Thank you for coming
so quickly.
1599
01:04:29,699 --> 01:04:31,135
I wasn't expecting
the cavalry.
1600
01:04:31,168 --> 01:04:32,236
- They didn't give me
a choice.
1601
01:04:32,269 --> 01:04:34,004
- What's this?
1602
01:04:34,038 --> 01:04:36,206
Does no one think the rules
apply to them anymore?
1603
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:38,943
Now I've got to call this in
on this stupid walkie-talkie.
1604
01:04:38,976 --> 01:04:40,110
- Call it in to who?
1605
01:04:40,144 --> 01:04:42,246
- Whom. To whom.
1606
01:04:42,279 --> 01:04:44,481
Can someone please
explain that to him?
1607
01:04:44,514 --> 01:04:47,284
- Okay. Clearly we are
dealing with more
1608
01:04:47,317 --> 01:04:49,053
than just the Thin White Duke,
1609
01:04:49,086 --> 01:04:51,155
Heather Rockrear,
and the Black Gentleman Dandy.
1610
01:04:51,188 --> 01:04:52,389
Which means Gus and I should
definitely be packing.
1611
01:04:52,422 --> 01:04:53,991
- Not a chance.
- Come on!
1612
01:04:54,024 --> 01:04:55,292
- That's easy for you to say.
1613
01:04:55,325 --> 01:04:57,261
We're gonna be sitting ducks
out there.
1614
01:04:57,294 --> 01:04:59,263
My perfect head is like catnip
to a long-range rifle scope.
1615
01:04:59,296 --> 01:05:00,897
- [whispering] Hi, Karen.
1616
01:05:02,432 --> 01:05:04,935
- All right, looks like
all of you can come.
1617
01:05:04,969 --> 01:05:07,171
Turns out this wasn't
altogether unexpected.
1618
01:05:07,204 --> 01:05:09,439
But you're all going to die.
1619
01:05:09,473 --> 01:05:12,276
And, moreover, nobody's
packing anything, all right?
1620
01:05:12,309 --> 01:05:13,978
You got a gun,
it goes in the bag.
1621
01:05:14,011 --> 01:05:15,112
And your butts on the boat.
1622
01:05:15,145 --> 01:05:16,480
Come on, move it.
1623
01:05:16,513 --> 01:05:18,248
You, too. I know you're
not packing anything.
1624
01:05:18,282 --> 01:05:19,349
Certainly not in your trousers.
1625
01:05:19,383 --> 01:05:21,185
Come on. You, in.
1626
01:05:21,218 --> 01:05:22,552
Move it. Let's go.
On the boat.
1627
01:05:22,586 --> 01:05:25,122
You too, sweetheart.
Come on.
1628
01:05:25,155 --> 01:05:27,091
Juliet, no need to
pat you down, right?
1629
01:05:27,124 --> 01:05:28,993
- So what's the plan?
1630
01:05:29,026 --> 01:05:30,094
- Well, I didn't know we were
getting into a boat
1631
01:05:30,127 --> 01:05:31,361
until ten seconds again.
1632
01:05:31,395 --> 01:05:33,097
- I may make a jump for it.
1633
01:05:33,130 --> 01:05:35,065
How many sharks do you
think are in the bay?
1634
01:05:35,099 --> 01:05:36,733
- At least one.
- Dammit.
1635
01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:38,402
- [stammering] What are you
supposed to be now?
1636
01:05:38,435 --> 01:05:39,536
Is this The Riddler?
1637
01:05:39,569 --> 01:05:41,538
- [chortling] He's funny.
1638
01:05:41,571 --> 01:05:43,140
Do you keep him around
for the jokes?
1639
01:05:43,173 --> 01:05:44,374
Get in the boat, Tobolowsky!
1640
01:05:44,408 --> 01:05:46,210
- You just called me
Tobolowsky.
1641
01:05:46,243 --> 01:05:48,278
That is a deep cut, and now
I am very rattled.
1642
01:05:48,312 --> 01:05:50,247
- Shut up.
In you go.
1643
01:05:54,318 --> 01:05:57,021
- Gus, what do you know
about Alcatraz?
1644
01:05:57,054 --> 01:05:58,255
- Not much.
1645
01:05:58,288 --> 01:06:01,091
Built in 1934,
336 mainline cells,
1646
01:06:01,125 --> 01:06:02,326
definitely haunted.
1647
01:06:02,359 --> 01:06:04,194
The legendary
"Birdman of Alcatraz"
1648
01:06:04,228 --> 01:06:06,496
did all of his actual breeding
in Leavenworth, Kansas.
1649
01:06:06,530 --> 01:06:08,298
- Didn't you just say
"not much"?
1650
01:06:08,332 --> 01:06:09,533
- I haven't been since they
closed for restoration
1651
01:06:09,566 --> 01:06:12,036
last year, Shawn.
1652
01:06:14,604 --> 01:06:16,240
No. Shawn,
1653
01:06:16,273 --> 01:06:18,342
there's no way he's
taking us to Alcatraz.
1654
01:06:21,311 --> 01:06:22,546
- Well, I'm absolutely
mortified
1655
01:06:22,579 --> 01:06:24,481
that no one's here
to greet us,
1656
01:06:24,514 --> 01:06:26,416
but you just can't find
good help these days, can you?
1657
01:06:26,450 --> 01:06:28,018
Please, please, make your way
all the way to the front.
1658
01:06:28,052 --> 01:06:29,186
I'll be with you shortly.
1659
01:06:29,219 --> 01:06:30,287
Don't dawdle.
1660
01:06:32,056 --> 01:06:33,457
- Dude, I got to say,
1661
01:06:33,490 --> 01:06:35,492
this restoration is
coming along great.
1662
01:06:35,525 --> 01:06:37,127
If I'm looking
on the bright side--
1663
01:06:37,161 --> 01:06:38,495
it's nice to get
a sneak preview.
1664
01:06:38,528 --> 01:06:39,596
- You're talking about
the bright side
1665
01:06:39,629 --> 01:06:41,031
of dying in Alcatraz.
1666
01:06:41,065 --> 01:06:42,132
- Lights!
1667
01:06:43,633 --> 01:06:45,635
Is everyone comfortable?
1668
01:06:45,669 --> 01:06:48,138
- Enough. What have you done
with Iris, you son of a bitch?!
1669
01:06:48,172 --> 01:06:50,207
- Oy, Chatty Cathy, shut it.
1670
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:52,509
I've got a slew of events
planned for tonight,
1671
01:06:52,542 --> 01:06:54,411
and I don't want to be rushed.
1672
01:06:54,444 --> 01:06:56,380
So! Now that I have delivered
tonight's guest of honor
1673
01:06:56,413 --> 01:06:57,647
and, as luck would have it,
1674
01:06:57,681 --> 01:06:59,383
all of her stupid-faced
friends,
1675
01:06:59,416 --> 01:07:00,450
my job here is done.
1676
01:07:00,484 --> 01:07:01,551
- Thank God.
1677
01:07:03,420 --> 01:07:04,588
- I literally heard that.
1678
01:07:04,621 --> 01:07:06,190
You said it just loud enough
1679
01:07:06,223 --> 01:07:07,257
that I could hear
what you said.
1680
01:07:07,291 --> 01:07:09,126
[sighs] Where was I?
1681
01:07:09,159 --> 01:07:10,527
Oh, yeah, would you like
to all meet
1682
01:07:10,560 --> 01:07:12,296
tonight's actual headliner?
1683
01:07:12,329 --> 01:07:14,164
- Headliner?
- Oh yeah, man.
1684
01:07:14,198 --> 01:07:15,365
She's been paying
for all of it.
1685
01:07:15,399 --> 01:07:18,135
[gunshot]
1686
01:07:18,168 --> 01:07:20,537
Oh, my G--
1687
01:07:20,570 --> 01:07:22,839
[thump]
1688
01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:24,408
- Ugh.
1689
01:07:24,441 --> 01:07:26,543
So what's the consensus
on the accent?
1690
01:07:26,576 --> 01:07:28,378
Because it's definitely
not Bowie.
1691
01:07:28,412 --> 01:07:30,447
[gunshots]
1692
01:07:32,182 --> 01:07:35,152
[dramatic musical flourish]
1693
01:07:35,185 --> 01:07:37,487
*
1694
01:07:37,521 --> 01:07:38,855
- Allison Cowley!
1695
01:07:38,888 --> 01:07:40,490
My dream.
Allison Road.
1696
01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:42,492
Gin Blossoms.
I had a--I had a dream!
1697
01:07:42,526 --> 01:07:45,162
Mary was there.
We sang "Allison Road."
1698
01:07:45,195 --> 01:07:47,431
You were Prince, and Jules
was Princess Leia,
1699
01:07:47,464 --> 01:07:48,432
there was a pony,
1700
01:07:48,465 --> 01:07:49,433
the pony said st--
1701
01:07:49,466 --> 01:07:51,168
[gunshots]
1702
01:07:51,201 --> 01:07:52,169
- Thank you, guys,
1703
01:07:52,202 --> 01:07:53,437
for putting up with him.
1704
01:07:53,470 --> 01:07:55,172
Really.
It was hard on us all.
1705
01:07:55,205 --> 01:07:56,573
But his petty revenge scheme
1706
01:07:56,606 --> 01:07:59,509
was just too fortuitous
to pass up!
1707
01:07:59,543 --> 01:08:02,179
And I must admit,
I was secretly hoping
1708
01:08:02,212 --> 01:08:03,513
you'd all show up,
family-style.
1709
01:08:03,547 --> 01:08:06,483
It's like four free
bowls of soup.
1710
01:08:06,516 --> 01:08:08,552
Questions, really?
Oh, okay.
1711
01:08:08,585 --> 01:08:10,587
- I'm sorry, you just
shot your partner.
1712
01:08:10,620 --> 01:08:12,456
- Uh, not a question, Shawn,
1713
01:08:12,489 --> 01:08:14,224
but why split hairs?
1714
01:08:14,258 --> 01:08:16,493
He was only useful until now.
1715
01:08:16,526 --> 01:08:18,295
He wanted revenge,
1716
01:08:18,328 --> 01:08:20,230
but he didn't have
the tool set that I do.
1717
01:08:20,264 --> 01:08:21,365
We struck a deal.
1718
01:08:21,398 --> 01:08:23,333
He ruins Juliet's legacy,
1719
01:08:23,367 --> 01:08:26,136
and then I get to beat her
to death.
1720
01:08:26,170 --> 01:08:27,571
It's a classic win-win;
1721
01:08:27,604 --> 01:08:28,605
happens all the time
in the Batman movies.
1722
01:08:28,638 --> 01:08:29,906
- Dude. Cheese cloth.
1723
01:08:29,939 --> 01:08:31,441
- You're hungry now?
1724
01:08:31,475 --> 01:08:32,709
I would never eat cheese
in cloth form.
1725
01:08:32,742 --> 01:08:34,578
- Painter's cheese
cloth, Shawn.
1726
01:08:34,611 --> 01:08:37,147
It's used in construction.
For the refurbishment.
1727
01:08:37,181 --> 01:08:38,515
It's usually hanging
straight down,
1728
01:08:38,548 --> 01:08:41,518
but it's pushed to the side
over there.
1729
01:08:41,551 --> 01:08:43,487
- Zero attention span,
am I right?
1730
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:45,289
- What the hell do you want,
Cowley?
1731
01:08:45,322 --> 01:08:46,756
[gunshot]
1732
01:08:46,790 --> 01:08:48,625
[hammer clicking]
- [groans]
1733
01:08:48,658 --> 01:08:49,626
Isn't it obvious?
1734
01:08:49,659 --> 01:08:51,728
I want a do-over.
1735
01:08:51,761 --> 01:08:53,163
You ruined me.
1736
01:08:53,197 --> 01:08:54,531
The night you arrested me
1737
01:08:54,564 --> 01:08:56,333
was supposed to be
my coming-out party.
1738
01:08:56,366 --> 01:08:59,269
Yin to me.
A passing of the torch.
1739
01:08:59,303 --> 01:09:01,305
A changing of--
am I doing too many similes?
1740
01:09:01,338 --> 01:09:02,506
I feel like I went
one too far.
1741
01:09:02,539 --> 01:09:04,474
- Comedy often plays
in threes.
1742
01:09:04,508 --> 01:09:06,410
- I'm not doing a bit.
1743
01:09:06,443 --> 01:09:08,212
- [whispering] I think Iris is
somewhere through that doorway
1744
01:09:08,245 --> 01:09:09,713
on the left.
1745
01:09:09,746 --> 01:09:11,515
Also, cheese cloth
and the word "refurbishment"
1746
01:09:11,548 --> 01:09:13,383
are actual things.
1747
01:09:13,417 --> 01:09:15,185
- Chief.
1748
01:09:15,219 --> 01:09:17,654
Your kid's somewhere
in the building.
1749
01:09:17,687 --> 01:09:19,189
There are explosives involved,
1750
01:09:19,223 --> 01:09:20,524
so you're facing
an uphill battle
1751
01:09:20,557 --> 01:09:21,658
even if you do manage
to find her.
1752
01:09:21,691 --> 01:09:23,560
But, as a woman,
1753
01:09:23,593 --> 01:09:25,295
I refuse to believe that
you're not capable
1754
01:09:25,329 --> 01:09:26,563
of overcoming the odds.
1755
01:09:26,596 --> 01:09:28,665
It's just that you're not.
1756
01:09:28,698 --> 01:09:30,234
[giggles]
1757
01:09:30,267 --> 01:09:31,601
But look at the bright side.
1758
01:09:31,635 --> 01:09:33,737
The two of you get
to blow up together.
1759
01:09:33,770 --> 01:09:36,340
- What'd she say?
- I can't hear a word.
1760
01:09:36,373 --> 01:09:37,774
- Gentlemen,
1761
01:09:37,807 --> 01:09:39,709
now that the four of you
have crashed my party,
1762
01:09:39,743 --> 01:09:41,745
you have the very
unenviable task
1763
01:09:41,778 --> 01:09:43,580
of getting past my colleagues.
1764
01:09:43,613 --> 01:09:45,349
They've been instructed
to toy with you
1765
01:09:45,382 --> 01:09:47,517
and give you
a false sense of confidence
1766
01:09:47,551 --> 01:09:50,687
and then kill you in whichever
order or way feels most fun.
1767
01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,356
- Uh...
1768
01:09:52,389 --> 01:09:54,691
put me down for
auto-erotic asphyxiation.
1769
01:09:54,724 --> 01:09:57,261
- Who is this guy?
1770
01:09:57,294 --> 01:09:59,263
- I'm the assistant
coroner, bitch.
1771
01:09:59,296 --> 01:10:00,697
- Aw, come on.
- Okay, [stutters] all right.
1772
01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:02,532
I have to apologize
to everybody
1773
01:10:02,566 --> 01:10:04,568
for that whole,
uh, "bitch" thing.
1774
01:10:04,601 --> 01:10:06,470
That was uncalled for.
- Strode, Strode, shut up.
1775
01:10:06,503 --> 01:10:08,838
She's about to kill us.
- That's no excuse, Henry.
1776
01:10:08,872 --> 01:10:11,375
It's a new world.
I know it. We all know it.
1777
01:10:11,408 --> 01:10:12,809
And--and there is no reason
1778
01:10:12,842 --> 01:10:15,579
that your gender should
have any bearing
1779
01:10:15,612 --> 01:10:17,447
on my choice of insults.
1780
01:10:17,481 --> 01:10:19,316
- Are you serious?
1781
01:10:19,349 --> 01:10:20,684
- Duly noted.
1782
01:10:20,717 --> 01:10:22,319
Can you shut up forever?
1783
01:10:22,352 --> 01:10:24,654
- Oh. Yes.
1784
01:10:24,688 --> 01:10:27,357
- Which brings me
to Little Miss
1785
01:10:27,391 --> 01:10:29,726
Little-Miss-Can't-Be-Wrong.
1786
01:10:29,759 --> 01:10:31,861
We have unfinished business.
1787
01:10:31,895 --> 01:10:34,664
I didn't say go.
Did anyone hear "go"?
1788
01:10:34,698 --> 01:10:36,533
All right, what the hell.
1789
01:10:36,566 --> 01:10:38,802
Timer's set to 20.
Let's do it right this time.
1790
01:10:38,835 --> 01:10:40,437
Kill the lights.
1791
01:10:41,638 --> 01:10:43,673
- [sighs]
- Wh-who's Iris?
1792
01:10:43,707 --> 01:10:46,443
- Jules!
- Iris! Iris?
1793
01:10:46,476 --> 01:10:48,845
- Jules, wait!
Maybe we should stick together.
1794
01:10:48,878 --> 01:10:51,748
- Iris!
1795
01:10:51,781 --> 01:10:53,483
- Gus, what are you doing?
1796
01:10:53,517 --> 01:10:54,684
What, are you leaving?
1797
01:10:54,718 --> 01:10:55,785
- I'm getting us
to the lighthouse
1798
01:10:55,819 --> 01:10:59,055
to signal for help, Shawn.
1799
01:10:59,088 --> 01:11:00,424
- Technically that's leaving.
1800
01:11:00,457 --> 01:11:01,791
- I'm not commenting on plans
1801
01:11:01,825 --> 01:11:03,493
once I get to the lighthouse,
Shawn.
1802
01:11:03,527 --> 01:11:04,661
But someone's gotta
wait outside.
1803
01:11:04,694 --> 01:11:06,830
[rumbling]
1804
01:11:10,567 --> 01:11:12,636
- Good evening, gentlemen.
1805
01:11:12,669 --> 01:11:14,571
I will be dismantling
the both of you
1806
01:11:14,604 --> 01:11:16,373
in a matter of moments.
1807
01:11:17,941 --> 01:11:19,509
- Shawn Spencer.
- Verb.
1808
01:11:19,543 --> 01:11:21,811
- Pleasure.
- Everything good?
1809
01:11:25,749 --> 01:11:26,850
- Gus...
1810
01:11:26,883 --> 01:11:30,387
he's no dandy.
1811
01:11:30,420 --> 01:11:33,390
- He's a black gentleman ninja.
1812
01:11:35,959 --> 01:11:38,862
- Still no ring
on the finger, I see.
1813
01:11:38,895 --> 01:11:41,331
- Why does everyone
keep saying that?
1814
01:11:43,467 --> 01:11:44,434
[shrieks]
1815
01:11:44,468 --> 01:11:46,570
[both grunting]
1816
01:11:54,711 --> 01:11:55,845
- [screams]
1817
01:11:57,714 --> 01:11:58,882
- I'm not crazy
about overpowering
1818
01:11:58,915 --> 01:12:00,684
a woman in a singlet.
1819
01:12:00,717 --> 01:12:02,819
- She's not wearing a singlet.
- No, I am.
1820
01:12:02,852 --> 01:12:03,820
Under my clothes.
1821
01:12:03,853 --> 01:12:05,555
Oh! [whimpering]
1822
01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:08,725
- You know, I've been dealing
with broads like you
1823
01:12:08,758 --> 01:12:10,460
my entire l--aaagh!
1824
01:12:10,494 --> 01:12:11,695
- [grunts]
1825
01:12:11,728 --> 01:12:12,896
- [groaning]
1826
01:12:12,929 --> 01:12:14,564
- Apparently my milkshake
1827
01:12:14,598 --> 01:12:17,701
brings old bald guys
to the yard.
1828
01:12:17,734 --> 01:12:20,537
- I have a ribbon.
1829
01:12:20,570 --> 01:12:22,372
- No, no. No, no. No!
1830
01:12:22,406 --> 01:12:23,640
No! No! No, no, no!
1831
01:12:23,673 --> 01:12:25,642
[screams]
1832
01:12:25,675 --> 01:12:29,479
- * Deck the halls
with boughs of holly *
1833
01:12:29,513 --> 01:12:32,849
- No! [gasping] Not the arm!
Not the arm!
1834
01:12:32,882 --> 01:12:35,652
- * Fa la la la la,
la la la la *
1835
01:12:35,685 --> 01:12:39,823
* 'Tis the season
to be jolly *
1836
01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:42,459
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
[screams]
1837
01:12:42,492 --> 01:12:43,993
- * Fa la la la la,
la la la la *
1838
01:12:44,027 --> 01:12:46,563
- Please! [groaning]
1839
01:12:46,596 --> 01:12:49,966
- * Don we now our
gay apparel *
1840
01:12:49,999 --> 01:12:51,735
- Time out, time out,
time out, time out!
1841
01:12:51,768 --> 01:12:54,170
- * Fa la la, la la la...
1842
01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:56,640
- Iris!
1843
01:12:56,673 --> 01:12:59,543
- [moaning]
- Iris?
1844
01:12:59,576 --> 01:13:02,512
- Gus, I'm not even
scared anymore.
1845
01:13:02,546 --> 01:13:03,880
This is simply bedazzling.
1846
01:13:03,913 --> 01:13:05,515
- I'm transfixed.
1847
01:13:05,549 --> 01:13:07,183
How long is this
display going on for?
1848
01:13:07,216 --> 01:13:09,586
- Hopefully long enough for him
to wear himself out.
1849
01:13:11,588 --> 01:13:14,691
Okay, that's next level.
- The man gravity forgot.
1850
01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:16,660
Oooh!
1851
01:13:17,661 --> 01:13:19,663
- Iris!
- [moaning]
1852
01:13:21,998 --> 01:13:23,533
- Hi.
1853
01:13:25,735 --> 01:13:26,870
- [crying]
1854
01:13:26,903 --> 01:13:30,039
- It's okay. It's okay.
1855
01:13:30,073 --> 01:13:31,941
Just sit tight, okay?
1856
01:13:34,578 --> 01:13:35,845
Sit tight, baby.
1857
01:13:35,879 --> 01:13:37,981
Okay, I'm gonna get
you out of here.
1858
01:13:38,014 --> 01:13:39,816
- [moaning]
1859
01:13:39,849 --> 01:13:41,518
[crying]
1860
01:13:42,952 --> 01:13:44,754
- I shouldn't have
rejected Selene, Shawn.
1861
01:13:44,788 --> 01:13:46,823
She's almost everything
I ever wanted in a woman,
1862
01:13:46,856 --> 01:13:48,525
short of being
Gugu Mbatha-Raw.
1863
01:13:48,558 --> 01:13:50,059
I'm so stubborn about
the Pluto thing.
1864
01:13:50,093 --> 01:13:51,895
And you know I've got to be
the cheetah, Shawn.
1865
01:13:51,928 --> 01:13:54,230
The cheetah!
- Gus, you are a cheetah.
1866
01:13:54,263 --> 01:13:55,799
And she's basically
the female version of you.
1867
01:13:55,832 --> 01:13:57,433
You know that.
- I know.
1868
01:13:58,702 --> 01:14:00,470
I should've married Jules
three years ago.
1869
01:14:00,504 --> 01:14:01,971
This ring is just
another excuse for me
1870
01:14:02,005 --> 01:14:03,540
to avoid responsibility.
1871
01:14:03,573 --> 01:14:04,774
- Mm-hmm.
1872
01:14:04,808 --> 01:14:05,775
- She deserves better
than me, Gus.
1873
01:14:05,809 --> 01:14:07,544
- No. No, Shawn.
1874
01:14:07,577 --> 01:14:09,579
She deserves the best
version of you. Hey.
1875
01:14:10,914 --> 01:14:12,448
[together] I'm proud of you.
1876
01:14:15,785 --> 01:14:17,053
- Let's do the thing
that we're best at.
1877
01:14:17,086 --> 01:14:18,254
- You know that's right.
1878
01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:20,824
[both inhale deeply]
1879
01:14:20,857 --> 01:14:22,992
[screaming]
1880
01:14:23,727 --> 01:14:27,664
- * I've lost my mind
1881
01:14:27,697 --> 01:14:29,666
* On what I'd find
1882
01:14:29,699 --> 01:14:31,635
*
1883
01:14:31,668 --> 01:14:34,638
* All of the pressure
that I left behind *
1884
01:14:34,671 --> 01:14:36,706
* On Allison Road
1885
01:14:36,740 --> 01:14:38,642
*
1886
01:14:38,675 --> 01:14:40,610
* Fools in the rain
1887
01:14:40,644 --> 01:14:41,878
*
1888
01:14:41,911 --> 01:14:43,713
* If the sun gets through
1889
01:14:43,747 --> 01:14:45,849
*
1890
01:14:45,882 --> 01:14:48,818
* Fire's in the heaven
of the eyes I knew *
1891
01:14:48,852 --> 01:14:50,987
* On Allison Road
1892
01:14:51,020 --> 01:14:52,789
- [groans]
1893
01:14:52,822 --> 01:14:54,958
- We can't go out
like this, Ryan.
1894
01:14:54,991 --> 01:14:56,726
- My name is Henry.
1895
01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:58,728
You've known me for
nine years, Strode.
1896
01:14:58,762 --> 01:15:02,098
- Sorry. I can't stop thinking
about Ryan Reynolds.
1897
01:15:02,131 --> 01:15:04,734
What can we do?
- I don't know.
1898
01:15:04,768 --> 01:15:06,836
She's so much fitter than us.
1899
01:15:06,870 --> 01:15:08,572
- Look at my thighs.
1900
01:15:08,605 --> 01:15:10,674
*
1901
01:15:10,707 --> 01:15:13,142
It's the last thing
I want you to see.
1902
01:15:13,176 --> 01:15:15,011
- * On Allison Road, yeah
1903
01:15:15,044 --> 01:15:18,582
* I didn't know
I was lost at the time *
1904
01:15:18,615 --> 01:15:19,749
* On Allison Road
- Yeah!
1905
01:15:19,783 --> 01:15:21,585
- That's it! Go, go!
1906
01:15:21,618 --> 01:15:23,887
- * So she fills up
her sails *
1907
01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:25,321
*
1908
01:15:25,354 --> 01:15:26,690
* With my wasted breath
1909
01:15:26,723 --> 01:15:27,724
- Whoo!
1910
01:15:27,757 --> 01:15:29,659
*
1911
01:15:29,693 --> 01:15:31,595
- * And each one's more
wasted than the others *
1912
01:15:31,628 --> 01:15:33,597
* You can bet,
on Allison Road *
1913
01:15:33,630 --> 01:15:36,165
- We need a key to the cell!
Let's go!
1914
01:15:36,199 --> 01:15:39,669
- Oh, my God, I never--
I can't feel my arm.
1915
01:15:39,703 --> 01:15:42,005
I can't feel my leg.
How am I walking?
1916
01:15:42,038 --> 01:15:43,907
I can't feel my limbs!
How am I walking?
1917
01:15:43,940 --> 01:15:46,042
- I'll get another one.
- I killed her!
1918
01:15:46,075 --> 01:15:48,945
*
1919
01:15:48,978 --> 01:15:50,914
- Isn't it funny, Juliet?
1920
01:15:50,947 --> 01:15:52,348
I mean, we're both blondes.
1921
01:15:52,381 --> 01:15:53,917
We're both smart.
1922
01:15:53,950 --> 01:15:56,786
Business up front,
party in the back.
1923
01:15:56,820 --> 01:15:58,955
I could've been you,
and you could've been me.
1924
01:15:58,988 --> 01:16:01,591
There's really only one thing
that separates us...
1925
01:16:02,826 --> 01:16:05,094
- You mean besides the capacity
to feel empathy?
1926
01:16:05,128 --> 01:16:06,963
- No. Just that.
1927
01:16:06,996 --> 01:16:08,632
Why, can you think
of something else?
1928
01:16:08,665 --> 01:16:10,934
- I can.
1929
01:16:10,967 --> 01:16:14,738
So, Shawn's office...
1930
01:16:14,771 --> 01:16:16,172
is at the end of an alley
in Chinatown.
1931
01:16:16,205 --> 01:16:17,707
It's called psychphrancisco,
1932
01:16:17,741 --> 01:16:19,643
all one word, all lowercase.
1933
01:16:19,676 --> 01:16:21,945
"ph" for the f.
Not the wisest marketing move.
1934
01:16:21,978 --> 01:16:23,780
But we are a we.
1935
01:16:23,813 --> 01:16:25,815
We are an us.
We are lovers in the night.
1936
01:16:25,849 --> 01:16:27,083
So we support each other
even when
1937
01:16:27,116 --> 01:16:29,018
we make questionable decisions.
1938
01:16:29,052 --> 01:16:30,854
- This is the weirdest
stalling for time speech
1939
01:16:30,887 --> 01:16:32,622
I've ever heard.
1940
01:16:32,656 --> 01:16:34,023
- It basically means
I spend my weekends
1941
01:16:34,057 --> 01:16:36,159
in Chinatown waiting
on rickshaws
1942
01:16:36,192 --> 01:16:38,828
and jade birdcages
to be delivered.
1943
01:16:38,862 --> 01:16:40,697
Shawn loves "Gremlins."
I mean, who doesn't?
1944
01:16:40,730 --> 01:16:42,165
It's my favorite
Christmas movie.
1945
01:16:42,198 --> 01:16:44,100
- Technically, it's not
a Christmas movie,
1946
01:16:44,133 --> 01:16:45,802
and I feel like you're just
getting further off-topic.
1947
01:16:45,835 --> 01:16:47,704
- Point is,
1948
01:16:47,737 --> 01:16:50,106
there's this incredible
martial arts gym next door.
1949
01:16:50,139 --> 01:16:52,008
And I never knew
1950
01:16:52,041 --> 01:16:53,977
what a "kip up" was
1951
01:16:54,010 --> 01:16:55,845
until I took the class.
1952
01:16:57,446 --> 01:16:58,682
- Ugh!
1953
01:16:58,715 --> 01:17:01,250
[orchestral music]
1954
01:17:01,284 --> 01:17:08,124
*
1955
01:17:08,157 --> 01:17:10,193
- [grunts]
1956
01:17:15,999 --> 01:17:17,133
- We need a key.
1957
01:17:27,711 --> 01:17:30,914
- [panting]
1958
01:17:32,015 --> 01:17:34,150
Dad?
1959
01:17:34,183 --> 01:17:35,852
- Hello, gentlemen.
1960
01:17:35,885 --> 01:17:37,086
How fortuitous.
1961
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:40,289
Three birds, one wire.
- [gasps]
1962
01:17:40,323 --> 01:17:41,925
- [whispering]
Gus, there's a table.
1963
01:17:41,958 --> 01:17:43,860
- What?
- Gus, there's a table.
1964
01:17:43,893 --> 01:17:45,795
- That has never worked, Shawn.
- It did work once.
1965
01:17:47,931 --> 01:17:49,933
- Hi, baby, hi.
1966
01:17:49,966 --> 01:17:51,768
- [muffled shouting]
1967
01:17:51,801 --> 01:17:53,236
- Chief, stop!
She said there'd be explosives.
1968
01:17:53,269 --> 01:17:55,204
- [crying]
1969
01:17:55,238 --> 01:17:57,040
- Okay, okay.
1970
01:17:57,073 --> 01:17:58,474
Okay, I need you to go back
as far as you can,
1971
01:17:58,507 --> 01:17:59,976
'cause we are gonna
get this.
1972
01:18:00,009 --> 01:18:03,747
Okay?
1973
01:18:03,780 --> 01:18:05,715
- Let him go,
Gentleman Ninja.
1974
01:18:05,749 --> 01:18:07,784
- I'm afraid this is the end.
1975
01:18:07,817 --> 01:18:10,754
- Well, I'm afraid my dad's
not gonna die tonight.
1976
01:18:10,787 --> 01:18:13,189
At least not by
your deftly manicured hands.
1977
01:18:13,222 --> 01:18:17,060
I suppose natural causes
is still on the table.
1978
01:18:19,763 --> 01:18:21,197
- What?
- The table.
1979
01:18:21,230 --> 01:18:22,331
- No.
- Yes.
1980
01:18:22,365 --> 01:18:25,134
- When?
- Now!
1981
01:18:25,168 --> 01:18:28,137
- [grunts]
- Ha, damn it!
1982
01:18:28,171 --> 01:18:30,273
- [shouts]
- He's so nimble!
1983
01:18:30,306 --> 01:18:32,308
*
1984
01:18:32,341 --> 01:18:34,744
- Uhhh!
1985
01:18:34,778 --> 01:18:35,779
- Freeze!
1986
01:18:35,812 --> 01:18:37,713
You arrogant bastard.
1987
01:18:40,083 --> 01:18:42,752
- Woody, Woody.
- Oh, thank God.
1988
01:18:44,553 --> 01:18:46,022
- Cheers.
Cheers.
1989
01:18:50,226 --> 01:18:52,228
- Okay, just--just get out
of here, Juliet, okay?
1990
01:18:52,261 --> 01:18:54,097
Just--please, just go.
1991
01:18:54,130 --> 01:18:55,832
Okay, baby, I need you
to go back as far as you can
1992
01:18:55,865 --> 01:18:56,966
because Mommy's
not going anywhere.
1993
01:18:57,000 --> 01:18:59,168
- [muffled shouting]
1994
01:18:59,202 --> 01:19:00,870
Don't pull the wire!
1995
01:19:00,904 --> 01:19:02,338
It's a code, it's a date!
I heard them.
1996
01:19:02,371 --> 01:19:04,908
It's the day Mr. Yin died
and she got arrested!
1997
01:19:08,077 --> 01:19:09,145
- [gasps]
1998
01:19:14,884 --> 01:19:17,320
- [exhales]
- Why do you know that?
1999
01:19:17,353 --> 01:19:20,056
- It was kind of
a big night for me.
2000
01:19:21,224 --> 01:19:23,226
- Mom?
- Hey.
2001
01:19:25,294 --> 01:19:26,362
Hi, baby.
2002
01:19:31,901 --> 01:19:33,102
There you are.
2003
01:19:33,136 --> 01:19:35,104
Let's get this off, huh?
2004
01:19:38,274 --> 01:19:39,408
- Ah.
2005
01:19:39,442 --> 01:19:42,778
[warm music]
2006
01:19:50,954 --> 01:19:53,289
[upbeat holiday music]
2007
01:19:55,091 --> 01:19:55,758
- Shawn, I think
I'm gonna bounce.
2008
01:19:57,593 --> 01:19:59,595
I got a unicycling class
that starts...
2009
01:19:59,628 --> 01:20:01,030
eh, screw it.
2010
01:20:01,064 --> 01:20:02,498
Nah, I'm going fishing.
2011
01:20:02,531 --> 01:20:03,933
- Am I the only one
who's hungry?
2012
01:20:03,967 --> 01:20:06,269
- I could eat.
- Gus?
2013
01:20:06,302 --> 01:20:09,005
- Dude, you have to block
this girl from your Instagram.
2014
01:20:09,038 --> 01:20:10,039
- What...
2015
01:20:10,073 --> 01:20:11,207
are you doing here?
2016
01:20:11,240 --> 01:20:12,909
- Wow, thank you.
2017
01:20:12,942 --> 01:20:15,578
Uh, Selene,
before we go any further,
2018
01:20:15,611 --> 01:20:17,180
let me just say this.
2019
01:20:17,213 --> 01:20:18,848
That was the best
fluffernutter sandwich
2020
01:20:18,882 --> 01:20:20,917
I've ever eaten
in my entire life.
2021
01:20:20,950 --> 01:20:22,518
And I'm completely willing
to make a go at this.
2022
01:20:22,551 --> 01:20:24,587
But you must let me
be the cheetah
2023
01:20:24,620 --> 01:20:25,922
in this relationship.
2024
01:20:25,955 --> 01:20:28,491
- Done.
- Cool.
2025
01:20:32,128 --> 01:20:34,197
That is not letting
me be the cheetah.
2026
01:20:34,230 --> 01:20:35,531
- [squeals]
2027
01:20:37,133 --> 01:20:38,267
Mmm.
2028
01:20:41,537 --> 01:20:44,273
- Shawn Spencer. Psychic.
2029
01:20:46,642 --> 01:20:49,612
- Wow. Word's really, uh,
gotten out on this thing.
2030
01:20:49,645 --> 01:20:51,547
- You promised me that
you had these skills.
2031
01:20:51,580 --> 01:20:54,217
I'm here to tell you,
all those things you claimed,
2032
01:20:54,250 --> 01:20:56,152
those premonitions
you told me...
2033
01:20:59,555 --> 01:21:00,523
They came true!
2034
01:21:00,556 --> 01:21:02,025
- [scoffs]
2035
01:21:02,058 --> 01:21:03,226
- How do you do it?
No, really?
2036
01:21:03,259 --> 01:21:05,061
- Well--
- It's unbelievable, man.
2037
01:21:05,094 --> 01:21:06,963
- What? You're serious?
2038
01:21:06,996 --> 01:21:07,964
Those things actually happened?
2039
01:21:07,997 --> 01:21:08,998
- Every one.
2040
01:21:09,032 --> 01:21:10,066
- How?
- Gus--
2041
01:21:10,099 --> 01:21:11,267
- How?!
- Gus.
2042
01:21:11,300 --> 01:21:12,601
- What?
- You know how.
2043
01:21:17,273 --> 01:21:19,542
- It's just a new program we
have down at the Bureau.
2044
01:21:19,575 --> 01:21:22,011
That's the Internal
Revenue Service.
2045
01:21:22,045 --> 01:21:23,646
It's called "Clean Start."
2046
01:21:23,679 --> 01:21:25,314
You're all clear
on your taxes.
2047
01:21:25,348 --> 01:21:27,683
Happy holidays.
2048
01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:29,185
[truck horn blasting]
2049
01:21:29,218 --> 01:21:31,887
- Whoa! That was close, sir.
2050
01:21:33,156 --> 01:21:34,890
You must have
a guardian angel.
2051
01:21:36,359 --> 01:21:39,062
- Can I borrow your salt?
Ugh!
2052
01:21:39,095 --> 01:21:41,130
Sharp pains!
2053
01:21:41,164 --> 01:21:44,000
Let this be a cautionary tale
to all.
2054
01:21:44,033 --> 01:21:45,969
[coughing]
2055
01:21:47,670 --> 01:21:49,172
- You have a gift,
my friend.
2056
01:21:49,205 --> 01:21:50,706
- That's a sweet thing
to say from you, yeah.
2057
01:21:50,739 --> 01:21:53,576
- In return, I have
a gift for you.
2058
01:21:53,609 --> 01:21:55,611
- Oh, that's t--it's too much.
- He's gonna shoot us.
2059
01:21:55,644 --> 01:21:56,612
We should've never
the bait, dammit!
2060
01:21:56,645 --> 01:21:57,713
- It's o...
2061
01:21:57,746 --> 01:22:00,950
[dramatic music]
2062
01:22:01,317 --> 01:22:02,718
- You were right.
2063
01:22:02,751 --> 01:22:04,587
Very difficult to find.
2064
01:22:04,620 --> 01:22:07,190
But your three years were
not wasted looking.
2065
01:22:07,223 --> 01:22:08,691
You just weren't willing
to break any limbs
2066
01:22:08,724 --> 01:22:09,959
to get your information.
2067
01:22:12,228 --> 01:22:15,064
You are so lucky.
2068
01:22:15,098 --> 01:22:17,366
- No way.
2069
01:22:17,400 --> 01:22:19,602
- [gasps]
2070
01:22:21,137 --> 01:22:22,638
Is that...
2071
01:22:22,671 --> 01:22:24,607
- Yeah.
2072
01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:26,075
Oh, my God.
2073
01:22:28,444 --> 01:22:30,613
That's totally it.
2074
01:22:30,646 --> 01:22:33,216
Thank you.
2075
01:22:33,249 --> 01:22:35,218
I'm ready.
2076
01:22:35,251 --> 01:22:36,385
- You are?
- Oh, hell yes.
2077
01:22:36,419 --> 01:22:38,087
You have been so patient.
2078
01:22:38,121 --> 01:22:39,322
And I love you so much.
2079
01:22:39,355 --> 01:22:41,124
And I'm so grateful for you.
2080
01:22:41,157 --> 01:22:44,060
So let's go to the airport
2081
01:22:44,093 --> 01:22:47,396
and fly to Iceland
and rent a volcano.
2082
01:22:47,430 --> 01:22:49,765
Or--or we can venture
to your family's homeland
2083
01:22:49,798 --> 01:22:51,667
in Inverness and--
and vow it up
2084
01:22:51,700 --> 01:22:53,469
surrounded by Highland cows.
2085
01:22:53,502 --> 01:22:55,171
- Curious beasts.
- Or!
2086
01:22:55,204 --> 01:22:57,106
Or we can married on
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
2087
01:22:57,140 --> 01:22:59,142
We'd have to talk fast,
'cause I think the ride's
2088
01:22:59,175 --> 01:23:01,210
only a minute and a half long,
and the car only seats four
2089
01:23:01,244 --> 01:23:02,345
and we'll need room
for Gus and--
2090
01:23:02,378 --> 01:23:03,779
- Shawn.
2091
01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:05,781
I don't need any of that.
2092
01:23:05,814 --> 01:23:07,650
I never have.
2093
01:23:09,252 --> 01:23:10,719
- You're gonna want
one of those cows.
2094
01:23:10,753 --> 01:23:13,456
Don't make the same
mistake I did.
2095
01:23:13,489 --> 01:23:16,059
- Let's just call a Lyft
2096
01:23:16,092 --> 01:23:17,760
and go to Vegas right now.
2097
01:23:17,793 --> 01:23:19,095
- Really?
- Yeah.
2098
01:23:19,128 --> 01:23:21,764
- Okay.
2099
01:23:21,797 --> 01:23:23,366
Yes, Mr. Provedor?
2100
01:23:23,399 --> 01:23:25,101
- I'm ordained.
2101
01:23:25,134 --> 01:23:27,170
- What?
- I'll be your maid of honor.
2102
01:23:27,203 --> 01:23:28,371
- Ooh!
- No, no, no, no, no.
2103
01:23:28,404 --> 01:23:30,106
I don't think so.
Please.
2104
01:23:30,139 --> 01:23:31,440
- Mom--
- Overreaching.
2105
01:23:31,474 --> 01:23:33,242
You know what?
Completely my fault.
2106
01:23:33,276 --> 01:23:35,411
- Move it, Vick.
We're ready to begin.
2107
01:23:35,444 --> 01:23:37,012
- Woody!
2108
01:23:40,816 --> 01:23:42,151
- Gus...
2109
01:23:43,419 --> 01:23:44,420
- I knew this was
gonna happen, Shawn.
2110
01:23:44,453 --> 01:23:46,322
- I know, I know, I know.
2111
01:23:46,355 --> 01:23:47,756
But you gotta pull it together,
'cause I need your
2112
01:23:47,790 --> 01:23:50,793
best man speech to kill.
- It will.
2113
01:23:50,826 --> 01:23:52,528
- Hey.
2114
01:23:52,561 --> 01:23:54,430
My sincerest congratulations
to the both of you.
2115
01:23:54,463 --> 01:23:55,764
- Oh, thanks, man.
2116
01:23:55,798 --> 01:23:56,799
- You're welcome.
2117
01:23:56,832 --> 01:23:58,134
- Very kind.
2118
01:23:58,167 --> 01:23:59,368
That's just a good dude.
2119
01:23:59,402 --> 01:24:01,104
- Brother's gotta
make a living.
2120
01:24:01,137 --> 01:24:02,505
- This economy? Absolutely.
- Yeah.
2121
01:24:02,538 --> 01:24:05,108
- Shall we begin?
- Oh! I do.
2122
01:24:05,141 --> 01:24:06,242
- Me too.
2123
01:24:06,275 --> 01:24:07,510
[laughter]
2124
01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:09,278
[cheering]
2125
01:24:09,312 --> 01:24:12,281
[warm music]
2126
01:24:12,315 --> 01:24:14,150
*
2127
01:24:14,183 --> 01:24:15,851
- [clears throat]
2128
01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:17,286
You skipped a few things.
2129
01:24:17,320 --> 01:24:19,155
It's okay.
- Right, sure.
2130
01:24:19,188 --> 01:24:20,156
- Let's start from
the beginning.
2131
01:24:20,189 --> 01:24:22,525
[clears throat]
2132
01:24:22,558 --> 01:24:24,260
Dearly beloved,
2133
01:24:24,293 --> 01:24:26,162
we are gathered here
to celebrate the union
2134
01:24:26,195 --> 01:24:27,496
of two lovely people
2135
01:24:27,530 --> 01:24:29,298
and, uh, bear witness
2136
01:24:29,332 --> 01:24:33,169
to their union
and holy matrimony.
2137
01:24:33,202 --> 01:24:36,139
Should anyone here know of
any reason this couple
2138
01:24:36,172 --> 01:24:39,175
should not be wed, please speak
now or forever hold your peace.
2139
01:24:39,208 --> 01:24:41,477
- Yeah, I have a few things I'd
like to get off my chest.
2140
01:24:41,510 --> 01:24:44,180
- Woody, really?
- Oh, not about this.
2141
01:24:44,213 --> 01:24:45,481
Can I wait until later?
- Yeah, I think so.
2142
01:24:45,514 --> 01:24:47,450
- You know what?
I'm gonna wait.
2143
01:24:53,522 --> 01:24:54,089
[upbeat Christmas music]
2144
01:24:56,459 --> 01:24:58,161
*
2145
01:24:58,194 --> 01:25:00,863
- Gus! We're gonna need
a bigger boat!
2146
01:25:00,896 --> 01:25:02,798
[whimpering]
2147
01:25:02,831 --> 01:25:04,467
- Stop playing around, Shawn.
2148
01:25:04,500 --> 01:25:06,235
The girl's already
at the airport checked in.
2149
01:25:06,269 --> 01:25:07,470
Find your damn passport.
2150
01:25:07,503 --> 01:25:10,173
- Boom! Found it.
2151
01:25:10,206 --> 01:25:13,209
Oh, hey, should I slice
this up for the road?
2152
01:25:13,242 --> 01:25:14,610
- Let's go, Shawn.
2153
01:25:14,643 --> 01:25:16,579
Look, I'ma ask you this
one more time.
2154
01:25:16,612 --> 01:25:19,482
Are you absolutely sure Juliet
is okay with Selene and I
2155
01:25:19,515 --> 01:25:20,883
tagging along on
your honeymoon?
2156
01:25:20,916 --> 01:25:22,251
- She's come to expect
nothing less.
2157
01:25:22,285 --> 01:25:24,153
- All right.
[crashing]
2158
01:25:24,653 --> 01:25:25,821
Should we be worried?
2159
01:25:25,854 --> 01:25:27,490
- Nah, it's Chinatown.
2160
01:25:27,523 --> 01:25:29,358
It's probably firecrackers
or jiffy pop.
2161
01:25:29,392 --> 01:25:30,793
Bubble wrap, bubble tea.
2162
01:25:30,826 --> 01:25:32,195
Could be any one
of those things, Gus.
2163
01:25:35,564 --> 01:25:37,633
- Congratulations, bro!
2164
01:25:37,666 --> 01:25:39,835
Finally made an honest woman
out of my sis.
2165
01:25:39,868 --> 01:25:41,837
- Ewan? What the hell
are you doing here?
2166
01:25:41,870 --> 01:25:43,372
- Oh, man.
2167
01:25:43,406 --> 01:25:44,573
I'm chillin'.
2168
01:25:44,607 --> 01:25:47,576
[dramatic musical flourish]
2169
01:25:47,610 --> 01:25:49,545
*
2170
01:25:50,546 --> 01:25:51,947
Hey, you guys got
a back door in here?
2171
01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:55,251
Gus!
- [grunts]
2172
01:25:55,284 --> 01:25:57,253
- So I was just gonna
mail you a wedding present,
2173
01:25:57,286 --> 01:25:59,488
but that's, like, a dick move,
so here you go.
2174
01:25:59,522 --> 01:26:01,490
And tied a little business in
at the same time.
2175
01:26:01,524 --> 01:26:03,592
Quick ask: do you guys
have a Kevlar vest
2176
01:26:03,626 --> 01:26:06,462
or possibly a lead shield
I could borrow?
2177
01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:07,630
- Actually, we're on our way
to the airport
2178
01:26:07,663 --> 01:26:09,265
for my honeymoon.
2179
01:26:09,298 --> 01:26:11,434
- Jamaica.
- Jamaica!
2180
01:26:11,467 --> 01:26:13,236
both: Jamaica!
2181
01:26:13,269 --> 01:26:14,870
- That's, like,
so played out, right?
2182
01:26:14,903 --> 01:26:16,439
They got johnnycakes
at the Giants game now.
2183
01:26:16,472 --> 01:26:17,940
- That's not funny, Ewan.
2184
01:26:17,973 --> 01:26:20,943
- Sweet pad.
"Gremlins," right? Yes.
2185
01:26:20,976 --> 01:26:23,646
Ah. [chuckles]
What happened to the Mogwai?
2186
01:26:23,679 --> 01:26:26,282
- We--we ran into
some licensing issues.
2187
01:26:26,315 --> 01:26:27,983
[helicopter whirring]
2188
01:26:28,016 --> 01:26:29,585
- Ewan O'Hara.
Come out with your hands up.
2189
01:26:29,618 --> 01:26:30,986
- [exhales]
Guys, this is all about me.
2190
01:26:31,019 --> 01:26:32,955
You have nothing
to worry about.
2191
01:26:32,988 --> 01:26:35,658
- Shawn Spencer and associate,
come out as well.
2192
01:26:35,691 --> 01:26:37,293
- Okay, now it's about
you guys too.
2193
01:26:37,326 --> 01:26:38,594
Could be a problem.
- Associate?
2194
01:26:38,627 --> 01:26:40,329
I pay the damn rent
in this place!
2195
01:26:40,363 --> 01:26:41,397
- Maybe if you were
around more often,
2196
01:26:41,430 --> 01:26:42,931
they'd know who you were.
2197
01:26:42,965 --> 01:26:44,467
- We're giving you
ten seconds.
2198
01:26:44,500 --> 01:26:46,269
- Okay, uh,
quick change of plans.
2199
01:26:46,302 --> 01:26:47,603
We gotta call an audible.
Jamaica's out.
2200
01:26:47,636 --> 01:26:49,305
Uh, we'll split the heat
with my sister.
2201
01:26:49,338 --> 01:26:50,906
How do you guys feel
about Oslo?
2202
01:26:50,939 --> 01:26:52,641
- He definitely shot Kennedy.
- The city.
2203
01:26:52,675 --> 01:26:53,642
- They named a city after that
son of a bitch?
2204
01:26:53,676 --> 01:26:55,578
- Shawn--
- Gents.
2205
01:26:55,611 --> 01:26:57,246
Good time to chat, but the back
door, the back door!
2206
01:26:57,280 --> 01:26:58,947
- Uh, it's really
more of a staircase
2207
01:26:58,981 --> 01:27:00,983
that leads to a tunnel
that lets out in Nob Hill.
2208
01:27:01,016 --> 01:27:03,986
- Dude, Nob Hill?
[laughs]
2209
01:27:04,019 --> 01:27:05,321
- Three...
- Where's the present?
2210
01:27:05,354 --> 01:27:06,622
- I left it over there.
2211
01:27:06,655 --> 01:27:08,023
- You're gonna need
the present.
2212
01:27:08,056 --> 01:27:10,359
Bogies! 12:00.
- One.
2213
01:27:10,393 --> 01:27:12,328
- Whoa!
- We have contact!
2214
01:27:15,331 --> 01:27:16,532
- Through the window!
2215
01:27:16,565 --> 01:27:18,567
- [screaming]
2216
01:27:20,303 --> 01:27:22,305
[gunfire]
2217
01:27:22,338 --> 01:27:24,673
Better be an awesome gift!
2218
01:27:24,707 --> 01:27:26,609
- Don't ever break the casing
or drop it!
2219
01:27:29,077 --> 01:27:30,579
- That's not really
a wedding gift, is it?
2220
01:27:30,613 --> 01:27:32,648
- It's the thought
that counts, Gus!
2221
01:27:32,681 --> 01:27:33,949
- [screaming]
2222
01:27:33,982 --> 01:27:36,952
[upbeat rock music]
2223
01:27:36,985 --> 01:27:38,354
*
2224
01:27:38,387 --> 01:27:40,356
- * I know, you know
2225
01:27:40,389 --> 01:27:41,690
* That I'm not
telling the truth *
2226
01:27:41,724 --> 01:27:43,492
* I know, you know
2227
01:27:43,526 --> 01:27:45,294
* They just don't
have any proof *
2228
01:27:45,328 --> 01:27:46,562
* Embrace the deception
2229
01:27:46,595 --> 01:27:48,331
* Learn how to bend
2230
01:27:48,364 --> 01:27:49,965
* Your worst inhibitions
2231
01:27:49,998 --> 01:27:52,501
* Tend to psych you out
in the end *
2232
01:27:52,535 --> 01:27:53,969
* I know, you know
2233
01:27:54,002 --> 01:27:58,541
*
146555