All language subtitles for Intelligence.US.S01E06.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-TOMMY_Track03

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional) Download
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:19,419 I need to see his file. 2 00:00:19,452 --> 00:00:22,322 - Someone's actually trying to access your file right now. 3 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,224 - He's hiding something, I'm sure of it. 4 00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:25,558 Were you disgraced at the NSA 5 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,394 and forced to take the position here? 6 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:29,596 - No. 7 00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:30,497 Mother... 8 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:35,135 (siren wailing) 9 00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,604 Anyway, I'm taking Melissa up the Orinoco 10 00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,706 for her birthday, so that'll be nice. 11 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,107 - Is it a surprise? 12 00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,209 - I hope so. (both laughing) 13 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:45,578 (phone beeps) 14 00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:50,150 - [Barmaid] There you go. 15 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:51,718 - Oh no, I don't think those are ours. 16 00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:52,719 - Oh. - Yeah, they are. 17 00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:54,387 I ordered these, thank you. 18 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:55,588 - Jerry, I can't, I'm on duty. 19 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,557 - Dude, come on. 20 00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,259 How often do we get to do this? 21 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:00,527 Huh? 22 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,494 - I'm just gonna cut to the chase. 23 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,229 - Oh man, I love this track. 24 00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,497 - Oh, yeah. 25 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,467 So anyway, as part of my work at the FBI, 26 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,570 we've been investigating a few of the officers at the NSA. 27 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:12,372 - Right, right. 28 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,740 Hey, do you wanna dance? 29 00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:15,275 - No, not right now. 30 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:16,743 So we've just filed a report, 31 00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:19,279 and I hate to do this to you, buddy-- 32 00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:20,647 - You know what, whatever you're about to say, 33 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,482 surely it can wait three minutes. 34 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:24,818 - Jerry. 35 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,686 Jerry, please don't make this more difficult 36 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,588 than it already is. 37 00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:30,156 I've been asked to bring you in, 38 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,591 but I'm sure it's just a formality. 39 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:33,526 - Man, I'm in the middle of my dance here, come on! 40 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,761 - Jerry, whatever you did, 41 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:36,529 I'm sure the NSA can strike a deal. 42 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:37,764 - Woo! 43 00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:38,765 - Jerry. - Yeah, you still got it. 44 00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,266 - Okay. - Yeah! 45 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,468 - Why don't we just go pay for our drinks-- 46 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:42,469 - Yeah, we'll just go. 47 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,703 (Clint laughing) 48 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,638 What, what? - That's my gun. 49 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:46,606 - Yeah. - That's my gun. 50 00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,341 - Jerry. - Yeah, yeah. 51 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:49,542 Come on. - No, no, no, no, no. 52 00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:50,443 - Yeah, yeah. - Jerry. 53 00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:51,411 - Let's do this. - Whoa. 54 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,612 - Woo hoo! - Jerry, please. 55 00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:54,581 Yep, yep. - Nope, nope, nope, no, no. 56 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,783 No, hey, hey, hey, hey. - Jerry, no. 57 00:01:56,816 --> 00:02:01,488 (gun bangs) (people screaming) 58 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,189 (Clint screams) 59 00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:05,692 Is this because I'm sleeping with Melissa?! 60 00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:06,593 - What?! 61 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,499 (radio chattering) 62 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,504 - Gosh, sorry I'm late. 63 00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:18,805 I overslept. 64 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:19,806 - You look really well, Mary. 65 00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:20,807 Did you have a nice weekend? 66 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,210 - Yes, Mum died. 67 00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:25,378 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - Oh my God. 68 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:27,480 - No, it's actually quite nice. 69 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:30,517 I get to choose my own clothes and everything. 70 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,886 - Well, if that's everything, 71 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,254 I've promised the foreign office 72 00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:36,389 an update on the Karazamov file. 73 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,324 It seems like there are now concerns 74 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,627 there may be a mole here at GCHQ. 75 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,363 (upbeat music) 76 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,340 - What the fuck?! 77 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,775 - Fortunately, it's not for any of you to worry about. 78 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:59,746 - Just to let you know, I might be going on a little holiday 79 00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:02,449 after I've made all of Mom's funeral arrangements. 80 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,650 - And when is that? 81 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,884 - Oh, it was supposed to be Wednesday, 82 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,853 but then there was a mix up at church, 83 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:09,456 so now I've had to have it back home for a few days. 84 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,291 - How are you storing her? 85 00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:13,560 Because if it gets too warm, she might explode. 86 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,362 - Mm. - Oh, gosh. 87 00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,364 Well, she's just in the spare room at the minute, 88 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,399 because next door's dog kept finding her. 89 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:20,300 - Fantastic. 90 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:21,401 Shall we crack on? 91 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:24,938 - Hey, let me know if you want a hand with any of that. 92 00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,707 My uncle used to run a funeral parlor back at home. 93 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:28,708 - Really? 94 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:29,943 Wow. - He actually invented 95 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,711 a number of techniques for putting the body 96 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,713 into various shapes when in the coffin. 97 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,615 Will it be an open casket? 98 00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:36,750 - Possibly, yes. 99 00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,651 - And will she be face up? 100 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:39,919 - Oh, I hope so. 101 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,788 - Yeah, 'cause he used to do things 102 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,757 like have the person waving, like... 103 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,459 Or beckoning you over. 104 00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:51,464 Or like they were trying to climb out, you know, like... 105 00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:52,365 - Oh. 106 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,835 I was just wondering if it might be easier to cremate her? 107 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:56,903 - Nice work. 108 00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:57,871 - At home? - Well, no. 109 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,439 With a ceremony and everything, 110 00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:01,574 but I just thought it could be quicker. 111 00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,910 - Well, yes, or you could partially cremate her 112 00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:04,978 and then bury what's left. 113 00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:06,513 - It's a bit like starting off 114 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:07,614 a jacket potato in the microwave. 115 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:08,782 - Somebody's here. - Right? 116 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,885 And? 117 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,554 - FBI. - And do they have a name? 118 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,423 - Clint Foster. 119 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,892 (Jerry gagging) 120 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:22,629 - Sorry. 121 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,365 It must have been something I ate. 122 00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:25,899 - Sorry, who did you say was here again? 123 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,434 - Clint Foster. 124 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,601 (Jerry gagging) 125 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:29,803 - Jerry, are you all right? 126 00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,605 (Jerry gagging) 127 00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:38,645 - Right, I have no idea who that is. 128 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:39,779 Did he leave a message? 129 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:40,780 - No, he's in your office. 130 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:41,681 - My... 131 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:42,582 (Jerry gagging) 132 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:43,483 - Oh my god. 133 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,660 - [Chris] You did plant the spy cam in Jerry's office? 134 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:54,828 - Yeah. 135 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,030 (computer beeps) 136 00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,498 - Did you turn it on? 137 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,845 - I see you cropped me out of our graduation photo. 138 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:12,779 - Did I? 139 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:15,548 What do you want, Clint? 140 00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,685 - Well (grunts)... 141 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,553 - Oh, was that your bad toe? 142 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:22,689 - No. 143 00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:26,626 Listen, I know this is awkward-- 144 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,029 - Not as awkward as you sitting on my desk. 145 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,363 - Jerry-- - Clinton? 146 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:32,966 - Jerry-- - Clint. 147 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,434 - Weenie-- - Clint. 148 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,403 - Jerry-- - Clint, what, just-- 149 00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:37,604 - We need to talk. 150 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:38,605 - No, you don't tell me what to do. 151 00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:40,407 First, get off my desk. 152 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,509 Stand, there you go. 153 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,743 Okay. 154 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,513 - And now I want you to shut the door 155 00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:47,914 and come inside your office. 156 00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:50,617 - No, you know what, we need to swap places. 157 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:53,620 One, two, three, swap. 158 00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:58,625 Now get the fuck out of my office! 159 00:05:58,658 --> 00:05:59,526 - Jerry! 160 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:00,960 Jerry. - Go on. 161 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,729 - Jerry, we need to talk. 162 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,597 - You get the hell out of here, okay? 163 00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,099 I never wanna see you again. 164 00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,467 - What's going on? 165 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,536 - You wanna tell her, Clint, huh? 166 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:13,440 You wanna explain to everyone how you slept with my wife? 167 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,875 - Look, neither of us meant for that to happen. 168 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,611 Oh yeah, what, did it just fall in there, huh? 169 00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,047 How many times, how many times did you sleep with her? 170 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,116 - Jesus, Jerry, let's not do this in front of everyone. 171 00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:25,819 - No, I'm sure they all wanna know anyway. 172 00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:27,053 How many? 173 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,621 - Including last night? 174 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:32,092 - Mm-hm. 175 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,730 - Eight or nine hundred times. 176 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:37,664 - What? 177 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,067 Why? 178 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,736 Why, Clint? 179 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,070 - I don't know. 180 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,772 Because maybe I haven't felt this way 181 00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,607 about anybody since Kimberly died. 182 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,843 - I don't even know who that is! 183 00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:50,777 - Kimberly. 184 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,013 My first wife. 185 00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:55,982 Got hit by a truck? 186 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,753 - Oh, Kimberly. 187 00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,756 - Listen Jerry, why don't you and I go find a place 188 00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,924 where we can talk in private? 189 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,092 It's for your own good. 190 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,861 - No. 191 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,996 I'm not gonna grant a divorce, Clint. 192 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,899 Screw Melissa, and screw you. 193 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:13,967 You and me are done. 194 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:19,139 - Is that why you think I'm here? 195 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,542 The NSA have called your case back into review. 196 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:23,843 I'm here to take you home. 197 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:27,580 The plane leaves tonight. 198 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,916 (Jerry gagging) 199 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,660 - Okay, so naturally, I have a few things I'd like to say, 200 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,896 and I'm sure you have a few questions of your own. 201 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,164 - Oh, absolutely tons. 202 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,199 - But for now, just in the interest of time, 203 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,935 I'd appreciate if you didn't interrupt. 204 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:52,205 So obviously you're aware that I work for the NSA. 205 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,578 - Do you want me to say even when I agree? 206 00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,146 - Well, some indication that you're alive would be nice. 207 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,247 - Sorry, yeah, of course I know that. 208 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,749 Yeah. 209 00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:04,718 - Anyway, you remember how I also said 210 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,086 I was close to the president? 211 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:09,689 - Are you waiting for me to respond? 212 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:10,623 - Yeah. - No, I don't know. 213 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,726 - Well, I was. - Nice. 214 00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,895 - Now let's just say I was approached 215 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:19,766 by a member of his team to look into ways 216 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:22,035 in which I could potentially influence 217 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,970 the results of the election, 218 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,639 purely from a cyber perspective. 219 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,074 - Did that actually happen then? 220 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:31,778 - Doesn't matter, but let's just say a high-ranking figure 221 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,747 asked you to do the same. 222 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:34,981 What would you do? 223 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,249 - Oh, I wouldn't even know where to start. 224 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,118 I struggle with Excel sometimes. 225 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,920 - Okay, sure, but put yourself in my shoes. 226 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,123 You're someone at the NSA who's been working 227 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,891 on this stuff for years. 228 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,092 You're at the top of your game. 229 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,094 You're kind of amazing-- - Yeah. 230 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,864 - Which is why you find yourself on vacation 231 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:54,734 with this senator, who's acting like you're best buds. 232 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:58,104 - Right, in which case I would say, 233 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:02,275 "Listen, we're best buds, but you know I work for the NSA. 234 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,044 "I'm not allowed to talk about it." 235 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,848 - Well of course that's what you're meant to say, 236 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:12,052 but now imagine you're in this beautiful sushi bar. 237 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,820 - Oh, lovely. 238 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,022 - You've already consumed several bottles of saki. 239 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,257 - Oh, hell. 240 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,259 - Tina Turner is in one corner of the room. 241 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,827 - Why? - It doesn't matter. 242 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,028 - Is she singing? - She's asleep. 243 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,930 I'm just trying to paint a picture here. 244 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,965 My point is there's a world in which 245 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:30,203 you might share some highly classified intel, right? 246 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,706 - Not if it'd undermine national security, no. 247 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,341 - But what if you know it would make your country 248 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:37,644 stronger, safer, more American? 249 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,747 - Isn't that virtual treason, though? 250 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:41,915 - By whose definition? 251 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,051 - The legal definition. 252 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,786 - Then yeah. 253 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,121 - Aren't you worried about that? 254 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:48,988 - I am now. 255 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,158 - Well they can't send you back, I mean, 256 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,195 what will I do all day? 257 00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,931 (upbeat music) 258 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,970 - My point is there's a world in which you might share 259 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,039 some highly-classified intel-- - Is it working now? 260 00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:07,007 - Perfectly. 261 00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,977 - Do you mind if I stay at Dad's tonight? 262 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,012 - Yes, I do. 263 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,853 - Well, guys, unless anyone knows how to avoid 264 00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,155 an extradition order, I guess this is it. 265 00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,857 Clint's giving me 'til the end of the day 266 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,992 to wrap everything up and say my goodbyes. 267 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,161 - A shame you didn't get married while you were over here? 268 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,963 - Why? 269 00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:31,865 I could avoid extradition if I'd married a Brit? 270 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,299 - I think so. 271 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,736 It's how Paddington avoided being sent back to Peru. 272 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,371 I don't know, maybe it's different for bears. 273 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,373 - Well, wait a minute, couldn't we just pretend 274 00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:42,008 that I married one of you guys months ago 275 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,343 and forge the documents? 276 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,345 Tuva, would you-- - No. 277 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,080 What about Mary? 278 00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:50,016 - Ooh, gosh, I'd love to. 279 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:54,187 It's just me and Quentin have started, you know-- 280 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,022 - No, it's okay, people wouldn't have bought us 281 00:10:56,056 --> 00:11:00,060 as a couple anyway, given your whole, you know, face. 282 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,295 - Who else is there? 283 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,867 (upbeat music) 284 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,241 - What? 285 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,377 - Okay, we need to make this absolutely bulletproof. 286 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,013 The NSA are gonna wanna see witness testimonials, 287 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,215 marriage certificates, wedding footage. 288 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,850 - What about your wife? 289 00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:24,884 - Melissa. 290 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,052 Can you kill her off? 291 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,053 On paper, I mean. 292 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,188 - Sure, I can do that. 293 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,456 - Can it be crocodiles? 294 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,191 - Sure, I can do that. 295 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,392 - When do you want to say that you got married? 296 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,927 - 9/11? - No, it's gotta be 297 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,395 more recent than that. - I just read a lot 298 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,263 of hotel wedding packages were much cheaper that day. 299 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,998 - Hey, I don't wanna go cheap. 300 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,800 If we're gonna go through with this, I wanna go all out. 301 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,068 - Great. 302 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:42,902 Hey, I won't get into trouble with the NSA 303 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,137 for doing this, will I? 304 00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,906 - Listen, this is all on me, okay? 305 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,376 If you guys go down, I'll be right behind you. 306 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,078 (upbeat music) 307 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:03,256 Okay, so for the NSA to buy this, 308 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,859 they have to believe that we are completely in love. 309 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,293 - Mm-hm. - And that our love 310 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,863 for each other is so intense, it would break your heart 311 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,164 if I left you, okay? 312 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:12,098 Are you comfortable with that? 313 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,099 - God, yeah, yeah. 314 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,235 - All right, let's do this. 315 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,436 Oh, take that off. - Okay. 316 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,005 Do you wanna put it-- 317 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,073 - No, no, just throw it on the floor. 318 00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,274 Great, smile, smile. 319 00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:22,275 - Should I hold you like that? 320 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,243 - No, you don't need to. - No? 321 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,477 - Smile. 322 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,212 - [Quentin] Okay. 323 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,982 Are you ready? - We should be laughing 324 00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,050 as we kind of go into it. 325 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,051 - Okay. 326 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,153 (both laughing) 327 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,989 - [Quentin] So how long have you and Jerry been an item? 328 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:36,923 - Oh. - Oh. 329 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,158 - God, well-- - Wow. 330 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,526 - Since the first day he arrived. 331 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,361 I mean, it was like being attacked by a bull. 332 00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:44,497 - [Quentin] And did you mind the age difference? 333 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,166 - Not really, no. - Yeah, no. 334 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,301 No, I didn't. - It was weird, no, no. 335 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,303 I mean, I think when you're truly in love when someone, 336 00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,972 you just don't really see an age. 337 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,240 - Yeah. 338 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,443 - You know, even when it's really quite big, 339 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:59,179 but yeah, occasionally I'll wake up at night 340 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,114 and just be like, "Oh God, you know, when I'm 70, 341 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:04,184 "he'll be, what, 130, 140?" 342 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,986 - We should probably move on. 343 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,322 - But I mean, the sex is... 344 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:10,523 - Is what? - Don't talk about it? 345 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,192 - Yeah, I don't think we should talk... 346 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,993 Let's not mention that. - It's nothing, it's nothing. 347 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,996 - [Quentin] So are you and Jerry living together now? 348 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,365 - We are. - Oh, absolutely. 349 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,066 Yeah, we are. - Thank goodness, 350 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,303 'cause there was a while there that it was almost painful 351 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,172 that we were apart so much-- - It was a very difficult 352 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:29,976 24 hours, but, I mean, I'm still living with my dad, 353 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,311 so it is quite tight, isn't it? 354 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:32,212 - Yep. 355 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,348 This smile, just, oh. 356 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:39,319 Sorry, for the edit, maybe ask about kids. 357 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,521 - Yes. - You know, like we've 358 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:45,025 been talking about kids. - Okay, okay. 359 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,259 - I think it'll help the case. 360 00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:47,427 - Do you like kids? 361 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,461 - I like kids. 362 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,629 We both like kids. 363 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,232 It's funny you should ask, because-- 364 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,967 - We have five kids. - Oh. 365 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,169 You have five kids. 366 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,139 And how old? 367 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,276 - How old are they now? 368 00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:04,177 - [Quentin] Yes. 369 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,381 - Well, they're, well... 370 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:12,252 - Uh... - Five, four, three, 371 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,490 two, and one. 372 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,361 - Yeah, we're not gonna be able to use any of that. 373 00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:26,599 - Listen, I just wanna thank you for your cooperation. 374 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:29,235 You could have made this a whole lot more difficult. 375 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,303 - Any time. 376 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,138 - Don't take this the wrong way, 377 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,041 but we have a nickname for you back in the states. 378 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,009 The iron curtain. 379 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,512 You're impenetrable. 380 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,082 - Why would I take that the wrong way? 381 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,484 (upbeat music) 382 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,387 - I very much enjoyed last night. 383 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,289 - Yes, me too. 384 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,624 - I'm just wondering if you could check under your bed. 385 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:55,095 My external hard drive's gone missing. 386 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,397 - I haven't seen it. 387 00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,532 - It's very sensitive. 388 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,034 - Quinton, do you have your camera? 389 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,035 - Yes. 390 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,103 - [Jerry] Okay, get ready. 391 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,474 - Are you sure this is gonna be okay? 392 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,709 - It's the only suit we had in your size, sorry. 393 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,544 - No, I'm not supposed to see you. 394 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,113 It's bad luck. 395 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,247 - So should I just walk in from the back, or-- 396 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:15,715 - Yeah, do you have any music? 397 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,317 - I could sing something. 398 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,319 - Oh, well that's up to the bride. 399 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,420 - Oh no, I'd love that. 400 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,454 - [Tuva] Cool. 401 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:22,422 - Okay. 402 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,124 - Let's do this. 403 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,526 (upbeat music) 404 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,265 (computer beeps) 405 00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:42,409 (Tuva singing in foreign language) 406 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:08,568 (Tuva singing in foreign language) 407 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:22,716 (singing in foreign language) Okay, I think we're good. 408 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:24,417 - Cool. 409 00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:25,418 - It was beautiful. 410 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:26,586 - Joseph, repeat after me. 411 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,188 - Repeat after me. 412 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,622 - I do solemnly declare. 413 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,758 - I do solemnly declare. 414 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,460 - That I, Joseph Harries. 415 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,495 - That I, Joseph Harries. 416 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,530 - Just use your own voice. 417 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:38,798 Try it again, please. 418 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,266 - I do solemnly declare. 419 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,368 - I do solemnly declare. 420 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,736 - That I, Joseph Harries. 421 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,270 - That I... 422 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:45,672 - Joseph Harries. - Joseph Harries. 423 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,774 - Know not of any lawful impediment. 424 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,776 - Know not of any lawful... 425 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,344 - [All Three] Impediment. 426 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:52,779 - Impediment. 427 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:57,217 - Why I should not be married to Jerry Apache Bernstein. 428 00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,620 - Why I should not be married to Jerry Apache Bernstein, 429 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,290 apart from the outstanding extradition order, 430 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,625 but I'm sure we'll be able-- 431 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,627 - Okay, we'll edit that out later. 432 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,663 - Tuva, do you have the rings? 433 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:11,598 - What? 434 00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:18,438 (Mary grunts) - So I was a bit unsure 435 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,673 as to how this might work out, but it's good to know 436 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,375 you know how to play with the big boys. 437 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:25,412 - Well, it isn't all the time we get to cooperate 438 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:28,481 alongside one of our oldest and closest allies. 439 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:29,482 - You know, if you're ever looking for a way 440 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:30,684 out of this shit hole, 441 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,485 we'd love someone like you at the FBI. 442 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,688 You've certainly earned your points with the NSA. 443 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,589 - Maybe now they'll take us seriously. 444 00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:38,758 - Oh, maybe. 445 00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:40,660 (door beeps) - Where is everyone? 446 00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:42,595 - What do you mean "Where is everyone"? 447 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:43,530 - I don't know. 448 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:45,699 (Chris sighs) 449 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,735 - Joseph Harries, with this rings, I thee wed. 450 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,606 - Oh, lovely, thank you. 451 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,209 Take that. 452 00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:02,782 - Jerry Apache Bernstein, with this skull ring, I thee wed. 453 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,384 - Aw. 454 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:09,489 - Without further ado, it gives me great pleasure 455 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,325 to pronounce you partners in law. 456 00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,761 - Oh, sorry. 457 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:15,628 (glass chatters) 458 00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:16,863 Hey! 459 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,399 (everyone clapping) (Joseph laughing) 460 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,533 - And now you can kiss the bride. 461 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:21,935 - Oh, I don't think we... 462 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,503 Okay, I... 463 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,872 Okay, turn around, okay. 464 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:31,478 Chris, hey. 465 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,346 Sorry, we were just-- - Filming-- 466 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,948 - Filming a short-- 467 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,450 - Porno. - Show reel. 468 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,818 A show reel. - Yeah, I've got a buddy 469 00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:40,553 in the adult film industry who's looking 470 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,555 for a few dwarves for his next project. 471 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,357 - Really? 472 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,559 Because what it looks like is you're staging a wedding 473 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,728 in order to avoid immediate extradition 474 00:18:48,762 --> 00:18:50,430 to the United States, where you're highly likely 475 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,866 to face charges of treason. 476 00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:56,569 - Jerry, buddy, you really think 477 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,304 this is gonna make a difference? 478 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,409 Come on, we're leaving. 479 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,811 (upbeat music) 480 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:24,330 - Hang on. 481 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:28,435 I must say, I do find it staggering 482 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,338 that the FBI and the NSA should choose 483 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:34,808 to pin all this on an individual. 484 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:39,646 Jerry is unequivocally one of the most average officers 485 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,581 I've ever had the pleasure of working with, 486 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:46,386 so to somehow imply that he could have influenced 487 00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:50,924 an entire election not only insults my intelligence, 488 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,559 which in case you haven't already figured, 489 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,027 is really quite high, 490 00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:56,830 but also stinks of the NSA looking for a scapegoat 491 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,765 to save its own skin. 492 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,837 We all make mistakes, all of us. 493 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,841 I once overcooked beef. 494 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,512 But although it may not look it, we are only human, 495 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,048 and we live in increasingly testing times, 496 00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:19,953 so perhaps even people like Jerry deserve a second chance, 497 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,391 just maybe not a third. 498 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:28,461 For now though, he remains one of us, 499 00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:32,565 my responsibility, and I won't have him 500 00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:36,469 suddenly taken away from this shit hole, 501 00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:38,972 particularly as I can have this whole saga wrapped up 502 00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:41,608 in so much red tape, that before you're even allowed 503 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,443 to so much as look at Jerry again, 504 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,746 everyone in this room will have passed away, even Evelyn. 505 00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:48,581 - Oh my God. 506 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,717 - They're gonna come after you no matter what. 507 00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:53,853 Don't say I didn't warn you. 508 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:56,456 - Whatever. 509 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:57,390 No. 510 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,932 Wow, Chris. 511 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:10,003 I didn't realize I was such a valuable asset to GCHQ. 512 00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:13,673 - Asset is one word for it, leverage is another. 513 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:16,009 Imagine how much intel the NSA might be willing 514 00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:17,744 to give away if we held on to you. 515 00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:22,782 - Right, so I'm kind of like ransom. 516 00:21:22,816 --> 00:21:24,050 Well that's cool. 517 00:21:24,084 --> 00:21:26,052 I mean, that's still a compliment, right? 518 00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:27,854 Right? 519 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,522 - Sorry, Chris, can I just check, 520 00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:31,057 do we still get time off for our honeymoon? 521 00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:36,730 (singing in foreign language) 522 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:37,831 - Hey, Chris! 523 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,032 No, no, drink that. 524 00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:42,035 (group cheering) 525 00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:43,903 (phone vibrating) (bottles clinking) 526 00:21:43,937 --> 00:21:45,071 (phone vibrating) Yeah! 527 00:21:45,105 --> 00:21:46,740 Woo, Chris! (phone vibrating) 528 00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:49,776 (group cheering) (phone vibrating) 529 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,511 Don't do that! 530 00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:53,713 (singing in foreign language) (group chattering) 531 00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:05,525 (singing in foreign language) (group chattering) 532 00:22:08,595 --> 00:22:10,096 (singing in foreign language) (group chattering) 533 00:22:10,130 --> 00:22:12,032 - Mary, we're doing shots. - Mary, come do a shot! 534 00:22:12,065 --> 00:22:12,932 Come do a shot. 535 00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:16,836 * Hooray, hooray, hooray 536 00:22:16,870 --> 00:22:18,605 * Misery's on the way 537 00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:22,142 * There are bad times just around the corner * 538 00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:25,779 * There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky * 539 00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:27,847 * It's clear as crystal 540 00:22:27,881 --> 00:22:29,716 * From Bridlington to Bristol 541 00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:33,053 * That we can't save democracy and we don't much care * 542 00:22:33,086 --> 00:22:37,157 * We'd better all learn the lyrics of The Old Red Flag * 543 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:41,528 * But wait 'til we drop down dead * 38744

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.