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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:18,649 (upbeat music) 2 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,459 - [Jerry] Joseph, quiet room, now. 3 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,499 - Oh my god, what's wrong? 4 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:31,730 Jerry, what is it? 5 00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:35,496 God, Jerry, are you okay? 6 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,695 - Yeah. 7 00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:38,336 - So what's wrong, what happened? 8 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,311 - I think I have syphilis. 9 00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:40,709 And maybe gonorrhea too. 10 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,240 I really can't tell. 11 00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:44,706 I'm so sorry. 12 00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,754 Yeah, yeah, hey, can you get the fuck out? 13 00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:48,717 Thank you. 14 00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:50,648 - Thank you. 15 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,624 So what do you think it was something that you ate maybe? 16 00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:54,222 - No, I had sex last night. 17 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,324 - Oh my god with who? 18 00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:56,455 - I can't say. 19 00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:57,459 - Not Christine. 20 00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,530 - No, she must be, what my age? 21 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,229 - So was it with a prostitute? 22 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:02,161 - Ew, no. 23 00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,425 - Not Mary. 24 00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:04,403 - No I just said it wasn't a prostitute. 25 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,271 - Well then who? 26 00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:06,498 - Look, I can't, okay? 27 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,203 She made me promise to tell anyone. 28 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,304 - It's fine, just tell me. 29 00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,396 - It was Tuva. 30 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:13,207 (upbeat music) 31 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:27,187 (woman choking) 32 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:33,290 I mean, obviously I've had lots of experience 33 00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:37,326 but Tuva can do things I've only seen possible with CGI. 34 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,704 - Right, who's got a poorly dick? 35 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,503 - Quintin, thank God. 36 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,344 - I mean, how did this even end up happening, Jerry? 37 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,310 - Quintin, have you seen the film Avatar? 38 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:46,468 - Why, has it turned blue? 39 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:47,836 - No, but look. 40 00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:49,444 - Oh god no. 41 00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,176 - Hey, hey, don't turn away. 42 00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:52,311 I mean, that's just rude. 43 00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:56,624 (Jerry gasps) 44 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,858 Have you seen anything like it? 45 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,490 - Only in livestock. 46 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,333 - Fantastic appraisal scores 47 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,731 off the back of that NHS scenario, Chris. 48 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,434 - Sorry, where did you say you were again? 49 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,566 - I actually don't know. 50 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:19,535 There was one area where you seem to have failed. 51 00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:20,772 - [Chris] Failed? 52 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,407 - Yes, it was in staff welfare and management. 53 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:25,354 - Get out! 54 00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:27,306 (woman coughs) 55 00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,207 Why? 56 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:30,719 - Be gentle please (gasps). 57 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:32,688 Mother! 58 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:33,849 - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 59 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,217 Just gonna try again, okay? 60 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,415 - Okay, okay. 61 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:39,656 - It looks like subepidermal hematoma. 62 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,703 - Oh my god, is that fatal? 63 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,228 - No, no, no, it's just trauma. 64 00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,604 What exactly happened? 65 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:48,302 Did she punch you in the penis? 66 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:51,737 - I mean, there was. 67 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:54,807 No. 68 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,411 - Why is it still erect? 69 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,713 - It's not erect. 70 00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:04,316 - Hey. 71 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,851 - Hey, you all right? 72 00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,422 (fart squelches) 73 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,628 - I'm so sorry. 74 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,500 I think I've had too much baraka. 75 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,569 - You know they're not suppositories, right? 76 00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:23,301 - Good morning. 77 00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:24,836 - Oh gosh, are you okay? - Yeah. 78 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,371 (fart squelches) 79 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,736 (groans) Are you okay? 80 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:32,649 - Good morning team, valued staff members. 81 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:40,294 Right, who'd like some raisins? 82 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,521 - Yeah, actually I would Chris, thanks. 83 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,426 I'm absolutely ravenous. 84 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:46,758 I had a big night last night. 85 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,562 - So I know that we've all got a lot 86 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:52,868 to be getting on with 87 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,739 but I just wanted to remind all of you 88 00:03:55,769 --> 00:04:00,369 that if ever work becomes too stressful 89 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:03,537 and you want to talk about it 90 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,906 or about anything else for that matter, 91 00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:07,305 I'm always here. 92 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,315 That includes you, too, Evelyn. 93 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,550 - I never find work stressful. 94 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,745 - Well, no, but if you ever wanted 95 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,888 to talk about something more personal. 96 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,688 Okay, so. 97 00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:20,756 - I was the first in my class to get my period. 98 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,534 - It doesn't have to be now. 99 00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:25,402 So I've had an update on the Dixons car phone data breach. 100 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,832 I do think this is going to be one for you, Mary. 101 00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:29,566 They've used a 28 bit block cipher. 102 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,972 - That's what my PhD was in. 103 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,614 - Exactly. 104 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,609 And no one else could bear taking it on. 105 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:38,351 - Really, okay well it might take me a little longer 106 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,848 than usual because my mum's not been well. 107 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,480 She's nearly 90. 108 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,450 - She musta had you when she was very young. 109 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,945 - You see this is a good example 110 00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:50,457 of something that you might want to come and speak 111 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,690 to me about. 112 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,825 - I'd really appreciate that actually, Chris. 113 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:58,331 She keeps telling me to go fuck myself. 114 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,398 - Well, perhaps when you've finished all this work 115 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,806 and removed all the corrupted files. 116 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,869 - Oh, right. 117 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,437 - End of play today would be soon enough. 118 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,877 (upbeat music) 119 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:16,682 - Hey you. 120 00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,639 (women cooing) 121 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:40,973 - Oh. 122 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,752 - Wonder if it's a boy or a girl. 123 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:48,651 - Oh gosh. 124 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,076 I can never tell. 125 00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:52,617 - That's the problem with babies, 126 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,992 they don't have boobs. 127 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,531 - No. 128 00:05:58,558 --> 00:05:59,428 - Hi. 129 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,796 - Hello darling. 130 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,571 - Well done. - Thanks. 131 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,039 - Hey, I've just been looking 132 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,911 at the Karasimov file, do we have a contact 133 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:13,939 in linguistics who can translate Russian? 134 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,713 - Have you tried Olga? 135 00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:16,942 - I can never understand what she's saying. 136 00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,476 - You know she's Russian. 137 00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:19,981 - Oh is that what that is? 138 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,723 Oh right. 139 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,448 - Thanks for the card by the way 140 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:26,693 but I only celebrate my birthday every other year. 141 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,890 - Well, that's fine just keep it for next year then. 142 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,961 There's nothing in there that can go off. 143 00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:32,661 - Anything else? 144 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,127 - Well, I just wanted to let you know 145 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:38,571 that I know about you and Jerry. 146 00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:39,998 - Has he been mouthing me off? 147 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,903 - Oh god, he didn't say if he'd done that as well. 148 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,006 Sorry, so has this been going on for a while then? 149 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,538 I only ask just 'cause Jerry seemed 150 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,973 to imply it was like a permanent thing. 151 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,908 - Wow, okay, well, either way, 152 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,014 I just don't like to sleep with the same person 153 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,046 more than once. 154 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,020 I think it's lazy. 155 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,879 - Oh, no, I agree with that, me too. 156 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,687 God, yeah. 157 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:00,549 It's boring. 158 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,533 But you never know, maybe one day 159 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,758 you might find that one person who you wanna settle down. 160 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,533 - No, that would never work for me. 161 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,861 - No, no, 'cause you're just. 162 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,073 It's funny though I was doing one of those 163 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,571 like online harmony tests things 164 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,844 and we actually come out as 89% I think. 165 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,475 - Yeah, it's that 11% I'm worried about. 166 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,676 - Then why sleep with Jerry? 167 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,846 - Because I don't care about him 168 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,094 like I'd care about you. 169 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:34,786 But you're right, 170 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,761 I should let him know it won't happen again. 171 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:42,059 Plus he's so not over his wife. 172 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,244 (phone rings) 173 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,708 - Is everything okay? 174 00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:59,813 Well the district nurse will be around in a bit. 175 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:01,276 Yes, that's the one. 176 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,084 But you really can't call her that nowadays. 177 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,187 (glass tapping) 178 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,718 - Yes? 179 00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:09,063 - Hi, Chris, do you have like 40, 45 minutes? 180 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,689 - Not that long, no. 181 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,864 Is this about the Buble conspiracy? 182 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,832 - I don't know what that is. 183 00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:15,701 - Thanks Evelyn. 184 00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:19,000 No, can you leave the room please. 185 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:20,930 - Oh my god. 186 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,869 - Sorry. 187 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:25,774 - Quickly. 188 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,081 - So, listen, I don't wanna name names 189 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,950 but there is someone in the office 190 00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,078 who I've started to think of as more than just a friend. 191 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,924 - Why? 192 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:36,979 - 'Cause she's really nice. 193 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,887 - Are you talking about me? 194 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:39,788 - No, why? 195 00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:41,019 Are you interested? 196 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:41,924 - Of course not. 197 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,655 So this is about Tuva? 198 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,920 - Oh, I really don't wanna say who it is. 199 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,658 - Well I'm guessing it's not Mary. 200 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,903 - Oh, no, no, God no, no, definitely not Mary. 201 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,758 Anyway, it turns out this person 202 00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,797 for whatever reason has actually ended up having sex 203 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,873 with someone else on our team. 204 00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,142 - Jerry. 205 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,100 - I really don't wanna name names. 206 00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,208 - Yes, but surely not Mary? 207 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,739 - No, it's still not Mary 208 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:01,814 but the thing is this person is in fact 209 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,081 a very good friend. 210 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,909 - Jerry, of course, he walks all over you. 211 00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,354 - And on top of that I've just found out he has a wife. 212 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,120 - Jerry's married? 213 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,079 - So now I'm beginning to question do I even know 214 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,216 who this person is anymore? 215 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,751 - Jerry? 216 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,946 - I mean, what do you think I should do? 217 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:14,987 Do you think I should talk to him about it or? 218 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,056 (paper rustling) 219 00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:38,684 - Yes. 220 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:40,980 - Right. 221 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,022 It's a yes. 222 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,317 Can I have a raisin? 223 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,252 - Yes. 224 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,831 (Jerry gasps) 225 00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,029 - Hey beautiful. 226 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,267 - Okay, so I'm just going to say it 227 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,272 so we can move on. 228 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,743 - Oh my god you're pregnant? 229 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,211 - It's been less than 12 hours. 230 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,269 - I don't care I wanna keep it. 231 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,407 - No, this was a one off. 232 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,041 It can never happen again. 233 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,746 - I don't understand, you sure sounded 234 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,248 like you were enjoying yourself. 235 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,379 - You know sometimes I moan like that 236 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,015 when I'm really bored. 237 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,850 - I thought we had a connection. 238 00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,845 - You kept calling me Melissa. 239 00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,887 - Oh come on, was it really that bad. 240 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:25,392 Melissa (sobs). 241 00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,004 - Yes. 242 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,299 - Fine, you know what? 243 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,100 Actually, I was on my way to find you 244 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,172 and tell you the same thing so. 245 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,140 - So are we good? 246 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,210 - Tuva, do you really think this is the first time 247 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,369 I've had a one night stand, please. 248 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,308 - Great. 249 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:50,175 (Jerry sobbing) (upbeat music) 250 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,085 - Oh, hi, Jerry, I just wondered if we'd have a little chat. 251 00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:57,121 - It's actually not a great time for me. 252 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,357 I'm super busy. 253 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,764 - Did Tuva come and see you? 254 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:04,963 - You know what she did. 255 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,972 Poor kid. 256 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,801 She won't leave me alone, so clingy. 257 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,067 I had to shut that shit down. 258 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,106 I'm actually worried about her, she was a mess. 259 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,341 I hope she's gonna be okay. 260 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,375 - Listen, if you ever wanna chat about anything, 261 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,883 just, you know I'm here, right? 262 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:22,815 - Okay, thanks. 263 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,417 - Maybe you could come around to mine tonight. 264 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,122 Get my dad to cook something and we can chat. 265 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,930 - Nah, I think it'll be too spicy. 266 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,359 - Let's go out, come on. 267 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,227 - Can we go somewhere cozy? 268 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:42,165 - Of course, the Railway Inn is super cozy, honestly. 269 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,102 - Is it? 270 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,438 Do they do mashed potatoes? 271 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,843 - I can ask, I mean, it's very easy to make. 272 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,283 - Okay. 273 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,154 - [Joseph] Yeah? 274 00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:57,151 - Yeah, let's do this. 275 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,389 (keys tapping) 276 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,907 (phone ringing) 277 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,212 - Very nice. 278 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,577 Hey, does this turn into a topless place later? 279 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,376 - I don't think so, no. 280 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,018 - Listen, I'm really glad we decided to go out, man. 281 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,394 Just us two guys. 282 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:39,434 - Yeah, do you wanna just have a seat 283 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,329 and I'll just get this first round. 284 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,390 What would you like? 285 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,128 - Yeah, I'll have a scotch. 286 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,273 Top shelf, neat. 287 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:46,498 - Cool, neat. 288 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,973 - No, neat, no ice. 289 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,472 - Yeah, yeah that's neat. 290 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,573 - Oh hey, also, get another round of whatever 291 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,035 those two are having. 292 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,275 - What, for us? 293 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,539 - For them. 294 00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:58,947 - Oh right, okay. 295 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,475 (people gasping) 296 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:07,087 Hey, Tuva, what are you doing here? 297 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,160 - Hey, you want to see some magic tricks? 298 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,219 - I can't really. 299 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,356 - Oh come on, pick a card. 300 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,191 - Okay, okay, just really quick. 301 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,127 I love magic. 302 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:44,460 - Hello? 303 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,255 - I am so sorry, Jerry, 304 00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,633 there was a huge queue. 305 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,260 - Where'd you get that? 306 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,267 - Oh, I didn't even see that. 307 00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:54,269 - Cheers, buddy. 308 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,240 - Cheers man, you all right. 309 00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:58,614 This is nice, isn't it? 310 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,038 Just us two. 311 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:00,643 (Jerry gasps) 312 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,474 Chatting away. 313 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,378 - [Jerry] Right? 314 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,639 - Yeah. 315 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,147 Well, you know, it just dawned on me. 316 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,278 We've never really ever spoken 317 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,052 about relationships and stuff. 318 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,481 - No, so when was the last long term relationship you had? 319 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,418 - Oh me. 320 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,364 Probably like my gran. 321 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,318 - Do you have type? 322 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,361 - I haven't really established a pattern yet. 323 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,404 - You ever hooked up with anyone at work? 324 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,172 - No not yet. 325 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,240 - Aren't there like 6,000 people workin' at GC HQ? 326 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,639 - Well, yeah, but I mean I can't access everywhere 327 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,340 with my pass so. 328 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,272 - Yeah, but surely those odds are great. 329 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,507 I mean, even for somethin' happenin' by chance. 330 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,183 - Yeah, but I mean I don't know how accurate a figure 331 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,511 that is, I mean, that might include staff 332 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,476 from GC HQ Bute for all I know. 333 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,524 I don't wanna have to trek down there every time. 334 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:47,451 - I'm not makin' you uncomfortable, am I? 335 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,687 I'm just tryin' to be friendly. 336 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:49,662 - No, it's. 337 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,230 - What? 338 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:53,288 - No, it's just nice hearing you refer 339 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,626 to me as a friend, that's all. 340 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,130 Are you all right? 341 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,502 - You know what, let's get another round. 342 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:02,498 - Oh no, I'm gonna get these. 343 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:03,695 That's absolutely fine. 344 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,607 - Right, then get us a couple of shots too. 345 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:06,538 - Neat? 346 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,540 - Yeah. 347 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,245 - Hey. 348 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,077 - So who are you here with? 349 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,553 - Oh, just a couple of old school friends. 350 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,547 - Those two? 351 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:24,488 - No, not them two, no, no. 352 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:25,434 - You want a drink? 353 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,159 - Maybe just like a really quick one? 354 00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,634 - Can we have a couple of tequilas? 355 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,534 - Yes, it's just a little bit tricky at the moment 356 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,536 because the, one of the people that I'm here with, 357 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,798 he's a bit upset 'cause the girl he was seeing 358 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,337 has just split up with him so. 359 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,242 - Is she hot? 360 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,443 - I find her attractive, yeah. 361 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,145 - Are you going to say something? 362 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,420 - To you, oh, I don't know. 363 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,619 Maybe, I just don't want him to think 364 00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:55,491 that I've been thinking about them having sex, you know? 365 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:56,492 - There you go. 366 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:57,393 - Oh well. 367 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,756 (speaking in foreign language) 368 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,534 - Right. 369 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,432 (Joseph sputters) 370 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,663 Oh my god what's that? 371 00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:06,468 - You never had tequila before? 372 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,369 - I thought it was like squash. 373 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,441 (upbeat music) 374 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,540 I am so sorry Jerry. 375 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:13,572 - Man, what took so long? 376 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,276 - I had to pop to the toilet. 377 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,678 Just I've got the runs I think. 378 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,850 - Well, surely that would make things quicker. 379 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,408 - Well, there wasn't a cubicle so. 380 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,648 - Let's do this. 381 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:23,522 Cheers buddy. 382 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,450 - Cheers man. 383 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,787 (Jerry whoops) 384 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:29,792 Yeah. 385 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,363 So what were we talkin' about. 386 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,431 - Well, I think you were about 387 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,300 to me about your last relationship. 388 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,428 - What, no, man, don't bring me down. 389 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,834 I'm tryin' to get up. 390 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,440 You know, you really should go for one of those. 391 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,299 Which one's your favorite? 392 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,467 - I just wouldn't wanna choose. 393 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,335 - [Jerry] Come on man. 394 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,243 - It's fine. 395 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,273 No, Jerry, honestly. 396 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:49,778 - Oh they are so waiting for you. 397 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,239 They're begging for it. 398 00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,677 - She's not. 399 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,282 - All right, I'm gonna go talk to 'em, see what I can do. 400 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,654 Come on, come on, quickly, quickly. 401 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:56,552 - Okay. 402 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:57,453 - Yeah baby. 403 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,788 - So, just so I know, how much are you willing to spend? 404 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:05,694 - What? 405 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,459 - Hi Chris just to let you know 406 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,468 that I've finally cracked it. 407 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,370 - Yes, I was just going to take a look. 408 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,203 I'll let Dixons know. 409 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,282 Is there something else? 410 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:27,350 - No, no, I should probably get back to mum. 411 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,220 - Yes, good idea. 412 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,723 - The district nurse just called and she's. 413 00:17:51,805 --> 00:17:53,805 - Okay, try not to take this the wrong way 414 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,510 but they both have concerns about your dwarfism. 415 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,743 - Well, that's fine, I completely understand. 416 00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:58,947 What about you? 417 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:00,448 - I think I'm starting to get used to it. 418 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,850 - No, are you interested in either of those? 419 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:04,421 - No, no, I'm not lookin' for a relationship. 420 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,391 - Oh what, because you're married, Jerry? 421 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,359 - Have people been talkin' about me behind my back? 422 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:12,631 - Why didn't you tell me? 423 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:13,459 - 'Cause it's none of your business. 424 00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:14,933 - Well you told Tuva. 425 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:17,501 - That was different, all right, just slipped out. 426 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:18,970 - Well, Jerry, there's been plenty of opportunities 427 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,628 when it could've easily slipped out of me. 428 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,527 - What? 429 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:22,568 - [Waiter] Sorry guys. 430 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:24,873 - What else did Tuva say about me? 431 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:25,974 - I don't know, why would I care 432 00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:28,406 about how she feels about you? 433 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,341 - Wait a? 434 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,477 You like Tuva? 435 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,482 - Yes, I like, of course I like Tuva. 436 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:36,975 Obviously. 437 00:18:37,017 --> 00:18:38,487 Why is that so funny? 438 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,648 - No, it's just. 439 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:41,887 You deserve better. 440 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,661 - No I don't. 441 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:44,820 - Hey, I'm just tryin' to look out for you, okay? 442 00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:46,588 You just said we were buddies. 443 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,186 - Yeah, well buddies don't keep things from each other. 444 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,658 - Exactly, I mean, I didn't know you liked her like that. 445 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,567 You shoulda made your feelings more obvious. 446 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,629 - [Tuva] Hey. 447 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,971 - What, Tuva, what? 448 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,913 - So is Jerry your date? 449 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,438 - Mm-hm. 450 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,473 - Cool. 451 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:05,248 Why didn't you say? 452 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,478 - You knew she was here? 453 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,024 - Sorry, did I not tell you that? 454 00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:10,019 - Is this why you brought me here 455 00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:11,620 so you two can hang out? 456 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,221 - Hang on, I just need to work out exactly 457 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,463 how this came about 'cause I'm actually quite drunk now. 458 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,518 - This is how you try to cheer me up? 459 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,027 - Well, apart from this bit I'm havin' a great night. 460 00:19:19,059 --> 00:19:20,589 - Me too, I'm gonna go out 461 00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:23,257 to the garden to smoke some weed. 462 00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,256 - [Jerry] Whoa. 463 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:24,957 - [Tuva] You guys wanna come? 464 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,498 - No, not, my asthma's. 465 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,233 - No, knock yourself out. - Sorry. 466 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,538 - Cool, later. 467 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,500 - Why would you lie to me? 468 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:32,638 I thought we were friends. 469 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:33,872 - Well, you know what? 470 00:19:33,907 --> 00:19:35,637 I thought we were friends as well 471 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:35,975 but there's some people who think you walk all over me. 472 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:36,839 - What? 473 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:37,806 What else do they say? 474 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,554 - That you pee sitting down. 475 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,009 - Okay, that's my business and not all the time. 476 00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,617 Okay, sometimes I don't know what's gonna happen 477 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:43,679 so I play it safe. 478 00:19:43,717 --> 00:19:45,047 - That you're secretly vegan. 479 00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:46,045 - Oh fuck you. 480 00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:47,546 - That you're weak. 481 00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,957 - You think I'm weak? 482 00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:50,518 - Well, you're always talkin' about how tough you are 483 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:51,087 but no one's ever seen it have they? 484 00:19:51,124 --> 00:19:52,064 - Okay, you know what? 485 00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:53,732 Here, you wanna arm wrestle? 486 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,890 - I don't wanna arm wrestle, it hurts my arm. 487 00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:55,928 - Whatever. 488 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,762 - You know what I'm done. 489 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,267 - Where are you, hey, hey, don't walk away. 490 00:19:59,299 --> 00:19:59,999 I'm talkin' to you. 491 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,803 - I'm going home Jerry. 492 00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:02,965 - What a wuss. 493 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:05,965 - Okay get up. 494 00:20:06,006 --> 00:20:06,906 - What? 495 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:07,740 - [Joseph] Get up. 496 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:08,744 - Why? 497 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:09,675 - We're fighting, get up. 498 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,839 - We're gonna fight? 499 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,877 I'm the one who should be fighting you. 500 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,082 - Go for it, move your table. 501 00:20:14,114 --> 00:20:15,754 - Oh, oh, you want help with the table? 502 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:16,752 - [Joseph] Yeah. 503 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:17,723 - Yeah, where are we going? 504 00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:18,791 - Just to the right like that. 505 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:19,748 - [Jerry] There. 506 00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:20,746 - Thank you. 507 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:21,587 - I can move furniture too. 508 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,291 - [Joseph] Go for it. 509 00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:25,693 - Look at that and this. 510 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,725 Here, there, there, you have enough space 511 00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:29,761 for all your moves huh? 512 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:30,656 You little. 513 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:31,557 - Little what? 514 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:32,468 - Just little. 515 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,296 (Joseph grunts) 516 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,644 Yeah, sorry buddy. 517 00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:36,999 I'm sorry, it's just instinct, sorry. 518 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,074 Hey! 519 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,065 Hey! 520 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,776 Okay, can you stop hugging me? 521 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:42,708 - No. 522 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,980 - Hey. 523 00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:45,881 (Joseph grunts) 524 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:46,882 - Ow Jerry! 525 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,923 - Sorry, again, instinct. 526 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,648 Come on, get up. 527 00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:51,694 Hey, don't try! 528 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:52,818 - Ow! 529 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,922 - Yeah, yeah, kick me. 530 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,524 Where you goin' you little squirrel? 531 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,756 Oh, you're tryin' to look me in the eye huh? 532 00:20:58,792 --> 00:20:59,962 - Why are you such a dickhead? 533 00:20:59,993 --> 00:21:01,333 - What? 534 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:02,731 - Well you treat me like shit all the time. 535 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,862 - I don't treat you like shit, you're my PA. 536 00:21:04,898 --> 00:21:07,068 - I'm not your PA, I've been workin' at GC HQ for 12 years. 537 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,040 I'm a junior analyst. 538 00:21:09,069 --> 00:21:09,899 - Really? 539 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:10,936 - Yes! 540 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,340 Just lose the front. 541 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:13,942 - Oh you think I have a front now? 542 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:15,043 You think I'm frontin'? 543 00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,335 - Well why won't you let me in? 544 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,077 - Jesus. 545 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,551 - Come on, why? 546 00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:25,023 - You wanna know why I won't let you in, huh? 547 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:27,151 You really wanna know? 548 00:21:27,187 --> 00:21:30,057 'Cause the last time I let someone in, I shot him. 549 00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:33,858 I lost my best friend. 550 00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:38,666 Is that what you wanted to hear? 551 00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:39,828 All right, are you happy? 552 00:21:43,203 --> 00:21:45,873 (Joseph thuds) 553 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,679 You really gotta work on your instinct. 554 00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:56,717 (upbeat music) 555 00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:01,048 (dogs barking) 556 00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:03,687 (man snores) 557 00:22:05,225 --> 00:22:06,055 - [Joseph] Jerry. 558 00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:11,025 * Hooray, hooray, hooray 559 00:22:11,064 --> 00:22:12,834 * Misery's on the way 560 00:22:12,866 --> 00:22:16,636 * There are bad times just around the corner * 561 00:22:16,670 --> 00:22:20,010 * There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky * 562 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,740 * It's as clear as crystal from Bridlington to Bristol * 563 00:22:23,777 --> 00:22:25,677 * That we can't save democracy 564 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,452 * And we don't much care 565 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,080 * We'd better all learn the lyrics * 566 00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:31,615 * Of the old red flag 567 00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:35,791 * And wait until we drop down dead * 38259

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