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01 Hot Shots - Charlie Sheen 1991 English
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- [ GEESE ] Quack, quack.
- Look out!
3
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,699
He singed my tail feathers.
4
00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:41,989
Yee-ha!
5
00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:48,249
All right, Buzz. That's enough of that.
6
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,329
[ OBJECTS FALLING ]
7
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,249
What did I just say?
8
00:02:55,590 --> 00:02:57,799
That is a good way to
lose an eye, my friend.
9
00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:00,629
Hold it. We've got company at two o'clock.
10
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:02,549
I got him, Mail-man. Hang on.
11
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,929
Here we go.
12
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:11,349
- Buzz, what is going on up there?
- Just moving a road hog.
13
00:03:12,690 --> 00:03:14,439
[ HORN ]
14
00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:18,899
- Knock it off! What kind of stunt was that?
- Just seeing what this baby can do.
15
00:03:21,860 --> 00:03:24,239
This bag of bones isn't
rated past Mach two.
16
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:29,369
- Mach one!
- The G-forces, Buzz! The G-forces!
17
00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:31,619
Mach two! Gotta push the envelope.
18
00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:35,209
Mach three!
19
00:03:35,790 --> 00:03:37,959
Buzz! We're tearing apart!
20
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:44,549
I'm losing control.
Eject, Mail-man. Hit the silk!
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00:03:46,050 --> 00:03:48,809
- I can't get out!
- What are you doing?
22
00:03:49,470 --> 00:03:51,559
Buzz! Get back here!
23
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,649
OK. I've been in tougher scrapes than this.
24
00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:58,109
There's the ground. It looks hard.
OK, trees.
25
00:03:58,230 --> 00:04:00,399
No! Oh. Mahogany. Ow!
26
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,739
Squirrel's nest. Bird. Ow! Pine.
27
00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:04,489
Ow! Oh, the ground.
28
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,199
Oh... Oh...
29
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,829
Oh, I made it.
30
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,999
I made it! There is a God.
31
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,669
Hallelujaaaaaa!
32
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:20,209
Ow! Oh! Ouch! Ow!
33
00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:26,509
Oh, you're French, aren't you?
34
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,679
Ah... yeah, just like that.
35
00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:44,239
- [ CLOCK CHIMES ]
- [ HOOTER ]
36
00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:50,029
- [ MAN ] Hey, look! There's one!
- Uh-oh.
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[ GUNSHOT ]
38
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[ DOOR CHIME ]
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[ SPRAYING ]
40
00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:35,079
[ CHAINS AND BOLTS BEING UNDONE ]
41
00:05:42,590 --> 00:05:44,799
Topper Harley?
42
00:05:45,130 --> 00:05:47,089
Once, perhaps.
43
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,089
Now I am called Tukachinchilla.
44
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:52,389
- What does it mean?
- Fluffy Bunny Feet.
45
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It's very nice.
46
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,599
I'm Lieutenant Commander James Block.
47
00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:00,939
I knew your father Buzz.
48
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,630
Until his incident, he was
the greatest pilot who ever lived.
49
00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:10,029
We need to talk.
50
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,799
- The Navy wants...
- [ YELP ]
51
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,540
The Navy wants you back, Harley.
52
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,639
They threw me out. Why should I go back?
53
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,939
I came here to get away from the Navy.
Away from flying.
54
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:52,279
[ HISSING ]
55
00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,079
[ HELIUM VOICE ] The Navy has
a top-secret mission: Sleepy Weasel.
56
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:03,249
I'm giving you a second chance,
which your father never had.
57
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,459
You're the best of the best, Topper.
58
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:13,009
[ HELIUM VOICE ] Leave me to speak with the
one. He is wise in the ways of such things.
59
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:18,969
The Navy really needs you.
60
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:20,979
Great helium!
61
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:26,439
Owatonna.
62
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,489
Owatonna!
63
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,449
[ U CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY MC HAMMER ]
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[ DREAM LOVER BY DION ]
65
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,829
Every night I hope and pray.
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00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:21,409
A dream lover will come my way.
67
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:25,169
A girl to hold in my arms.
68
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:27,789
And know the magic of her charms.
69
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,089
- Because I want.
- Yeah-yeah, yeah.
70
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:31,879
A girl - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
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00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,759
To call - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
72
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,219
My own - Yeah-yeah
73
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:37,509
I want a dream lover
74
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:41,429
I don't have to dream alone.
75
00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:46,689
Dream lover, until then
76
00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:50,189
I'll go to sleep, I'll dream again.
77
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That's the only thing to do.
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00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:56,989
Till all my lover's dreams come true.
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00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,279
- Because I want.
- Yeah-yeah, yeah.
80
00:08:59,370 --> 00:09:00,869
A girl - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
81
00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:02,699
To call - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
82
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,079
My own - Yeah-yeah
83
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,369
I want a dream lover
84
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:10,249
I don't have to dream alone.
85
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:15,759
Dream lover, until then
86
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:19,299
I'll go to sleep, I'll dream again.
87
00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:23,059
That's the only thing to do.
88
00:09:23,140 --> 00:09:26,019
Till all my lover's dreams come true.
89
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,059
- Because I want.
- Yeah-yeah, yeah.
90
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,769
A girl - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
91
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,689
To call - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
92
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,029
My own - Yeah-yeah
93
00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:35,489
I want a dream lover
94
00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:39,029
I don't have to dream alone.
95
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,159
Wow!
96
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:06,099
Wha-hoo!
97
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,899
[ MILITARY MARCH ]
98
00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:24,449
[ DRILL SERGEANT ] Ten... hut!
99
00:10:35,630 --> 00:10:37,719
Admiral. Good to see you again, sir.
100
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,429
- It's been too long.
- And so it has. Yes, yes.
101
00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:42,549
- How are ya, sir?
- Hawaii?
102
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:46,969
- God-damn it, Bill, I should be in California.
- No, sir, this is California.
103
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:51,059
- Well, gotta run. Good luck.
- But, sir, this is your command.
104
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,899
Sleepy Weasel has been planned for
ten months. The president hand-picked you.
105
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:58,569
Damn right he did.
No stopping us now, huh, Ted?
106
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:04,279
- I'll show you your offices and brief you.
- You're a fine soldier, Scott. Lead the way.
107
00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:06,449
Oh, good God. I gotta pee.
108
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,499
I had part of my bladder
blown off at Guadalcanal.
109
00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:12,919
Watch your step.
There's a lot of obstructions here.
110
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:16,749
- I had a little dreidel!
- [ MEN ] I made it out of clay!
111
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,469
- And when it's dry and ready...
- My dreidel I will play!
112
00:11:20,550 --> 00:11:23,469
- Here's the story...
- Of a lovely lady!
113
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,849
- Who was bringing up...
- Three very lovely girls!
114
00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:29,809
- All of them had hair of gold!
- Like their mother!
115
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,349
- The youngest one...
- In curls!
116
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,689
- Here's the story...
- Of a man named Brady!
117
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:46,579
Gentlemen, he's back.
118
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:47,949
[ CHEERS ]
119
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,579
How ya been?
120
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:54,329
- Yeah, it's the big guy.
- Good to see ya.
121
00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:57,339
- Scooter! How you doing?
- Topper. The main man.
122
00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:01,419
- Rabbi! Mazel tov.
- You should live and be well!
123
00:12:01,510 --> 00:12:03,089
[ GLASS SMASHES ]
124
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,319
Hey, buddy.
125
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,279
Are you OK?
126
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,739
You don't look so hot. You need some help?
127
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:27,869
I'm OK.
128
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,079
You're Topper Harley, aren't you?
129
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:35,419
I hear you've got chops we only dream of.
Throwing you out was a bum rap.
130
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,749
I'm Jim Pfaffenbach.
Everybody calls me Wash Out.
131
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:43,919
- You're a pilot?
- Oh, yeah. I'm gonna be flying with ya.
132
00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:47,089
Good.
133
00:12:48,010 --> 00:12:49,139
Phew.
134
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:53,639
[ WHISTLES ]
135
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:55,689
Cute.
136
00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:59,359
I like to stay in shape. Thanks.
137
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,779
- Are these all at home?
- Yeah.
138
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:04,699
The dogs, wife and kids.
139
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,199
You got pictures of your family,
I'd love to see 'em.
140
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:13,369
- I am my family photo.
- But everybody needs a family to love.
141
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:18,999
I could never find time for love. It's too
heavy. It's an anchor that drowns a man.
142
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:22,919
Besides, I got the sky,
the smell of jet exhaust, my bike.
143
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,879
- A loner?
- No. I own it.
144
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,389
I can see I'm gonna have to work on you.
145
00:13:29,470 --> 00:13:31,599
Name's Pete Thompson. But...
146
00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:35,519
everybody calls me Dead Meat.
147
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:38,189
- Topper Harley.
- Just a pleasure.
148
00:13:42,690 --> 00:13:44,859
- [ DOOR OPENS ]
- Attention on deck!
149
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,279
[ MEN ] Good morning, sir!
150
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:52,239
I don't care
how many missions you've flown!
151
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:56,539
I don't care how good you think you are!
You're nobody!
152
00:13:56,750 --> 00:14:00,829
And for the next ten days,
nobody takes a crap unless I say so!
153
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,419
- Got it?
- Yes, sir!
154
00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:06,129
I said "Attention".
155
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,259
Now, didn't I make myself clear?
Or don't you take orders?
156
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,679
- When I say "Attention", I mean "Attention".
- Yes, sir!
157
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,269
- Now!
- [ BOING! ]
158
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:25,189
- You eye balling me, mister?
- No, sir!
159
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:30,109
The next time I see that ugly face of yours,
I want it clean-shaven! Suck in that chest!
160
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:35,989
Pfaffenbach!
161
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:41,879
- What you looking at, boy?
- Nothing, sir!
162
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:45,299
Oh, I'm some lowlife that's
not good enough for you to talk to?
163
00:14:45,380 --> 00:14:50,009
Well, that attitude is short on collateral!
I'm God as far as you're concerned!
164
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:51,639
Hey, hey. Lighten up.
165
00:14:52,970 --> 00:14:54,719
Cut the kid some slack.
166
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,309
Who the hell are you talking to, son?
167
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,309
Your ego's writing cheques
your body can't cash.
168
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,939
Now you got five minutes
to stow your gear.
169
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:06,399
Get moving!
170
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:12,199
Yeah, I'm sure deep down he means well.
171
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,789
I hope you were paying attention.
172
00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:20,499
- I don't think we've met.
- Kent Gregory.
173
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:22,579
Excuse me if I don't shake your hand.
174
00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:28,209
Your father killed someone very special
to me: Dominic "Mail-man" Farnham.
175
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:29,969
- You mean...
- Yes.
176
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:32,799
Dominic Farnham was my father.
I was his love child.
177
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,639
- It was a hunting accident.
- Accident, my deep-blue eyes.
178
00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:40,139
It was reckless, irresponsible flying,
and you know it.
179
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:41,599
Are you OK?
180
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:44,939
This is an incredible coincidence,
181
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:46,939
but the hunter who mistakenly
killed your father
182
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:55,119
was Henry Pfaffenbach, my father.
183
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,869
I feel terrible.
184
00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:01,869
Isn't this Henry Alva Pfaffenbach?
185
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:04,749
My mother was a Pfaffenbach.
186
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,749
Not... Doreen Pfaffenbach?
187
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,959
- From Minnesota?
- Yeah.
188
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:14,049
Then we're cousins! We used to
spend our summers in Eagle River.
189
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,089
[ PILOTS ] Eagle River?
190
00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,929
I hope you can forgive me for this.
191
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,059
If it helps, I didn't have seconds.
192
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:28,649
That's all right. It's not your fault.
Anyone could have made that mistake.
193
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:33,649
But him... he's the type that could
end up killing every man in this outfit.
194
00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:37,739
Wait a minute. Why are you mad at me?
He's the one who ate your father.
195
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:42,749
Like father, like son.
You've already been tossed out once.
196
00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:45,039
Hold it, hold it.
197
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:49,419
We can't fight among ourselves.
We're all on the same team here.
198
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:52,379
I want the two of you to shake hands.
199
00:16:56,930 --> 00:16:59,429
There, now. Isn't that better?
200
00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:01,639
- [ FALSETTO ] Yeah.
- [ FALSETTO ] Sure.
201
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:05,979
There. We're friends again.
202
00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:09,819
Here. Have some of my lucky gum.
203
00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:15,529
Look, Dead Meat. We fly together, we sleep
next to each other, but that's all.
204
00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:19,119
Don't get too close.
Let me handle my own affairs.
205
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:24,539
He's so complex.
206
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,169
Aerial photos and reckon reports
indicate a defensive arsenal
207
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,459
in the D, and perhaps -C, categories.
208
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,969
There's also some anti-aircraft squadrons.
209
00:17:35,050 --> 00:17:39,389
They can send up an ack-ack umbrella
high enough to make any attack ineffective.
210
00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:42,719
I don't have a clue
what you're talking about, Phil.
211
00:17:42,810 --> 00:17:46,729
I have a shell the size of a
fist in my head Pork Chop Hill.
212
00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:48,769
The only way I can make this toup stay on
213
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:52,439
is by magnetising the upper left
quadrant of my skull.
214
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,739
You just go ahead and do what you do.
Do you have any soup?
215
00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:59,319
Of course, sir. I'll have the mess
bring something right up.
216
00:17:59,410 --> 00:18:02,159
I love soup. I mean, I think I love soup.
217
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,789
Son-of-a-bitching shell. It's either
soup or duck. Which one do you shoot?
218
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,039
Duck, sir.
219
00:18:09,290 --> 00:18:12,039
- Are you all right, sir?
- Of course I'm all right.
220
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:13,669
Why? What have you heard?
221
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,509
Nothing, sir.
222
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,969
Send some soup up for the admiral,
on the double.
223
00:18:19,050 --> 00:18:22,679
Let's go over this Slippery Weevil
one more time.
224
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:28,269
I wanna familiarise myself with it as much
as I possibly can. So... give it to me, Ben.
225
00:18:28,350 --> 00:18:30,439
Every word. Every detail.
226
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,109
Dot every comma.
227
00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:01,589
[ UNSCREWING LIGHT BULB ]
228
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,769
Those are some long legs.
229
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:20,069
I just had them lengthened.
Now they go all the way up.
230
00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:21,569
Wow.
231
00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:23,069
It's nice to see you again.
232
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,489
I was really impressed,
the way you handled that stallion.
233
00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:31,499
When I saw you dig your heels into his sides
tighten the reins and break his spirit,
234
00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,539
I never wanted to be a horse
so much in my life.
235
00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:38,209
After I finish off this shrink,
we can take a quick canter in the meadow.
236
00:19:38,630 --> 00:19:40,419
Lieutenant, I am the shrink.
237
00:19:41,550 --> 00:19:45,179
- You're the psychiatrist?
- That's what the diploma says.
238
00:19:45,260 --> 00:19:48,639
I've never been to a psychiatrist before.
You will be gentle?
239
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,059
[ DOG YAPS ]
240
00:19:52,230 --> 00:19:54,519
I've been ordered to review your records.
241
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:59,319
You were discharged from the service
18 months ago for wilful insubordination.
242
00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:05,369
You disobeyed a direct order
and lost a $13m fighter in the process.
243
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:09,239
Yes, I did. But I'm paying it off
at ten bucks a week.
244
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:12,619
I should have gotten
that extra collision coverage.
245
00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:15,879
Wasn't your father involved
in a similar incident?
246
00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:19,049
- What do you mean?
- Leland "Buzz" Harley.
247
00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:22,049
Three Purple Hearts,
presidential commendation.
248
00:20:22,130 --> 00:20:24,589
Then this incident,
the Dominic Farnham death.
249
00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:27,969
1971, his Visa card was cancelled.
250
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,349
1975, a broken man,
251
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:33,639
suffocated while working
the night shift in a Fotomat booth.
252
00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:37,899
Tell me how these events affected you.
253
00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:42,359
Well, I... I don't think about it much.
254
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,449
That was a long time ago.
255
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,159
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have some guns to grease.
256
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,449
Lieutenant...
257
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:53,659
Have you thought about
seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis?
258
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,169
I thought you'd never ask.
259
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:57,919
I mean professionally.
260
00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:01,709
Thanks, Doctor.
261
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:04,339
Thanks for the advice.
262
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,969
- Be careful out there.
- I can take care of myself.
263
00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:12,019
- No. You're going to get hurt.
- I don't need your help, or anybody's.
264
00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:13,429
I'll be just fine.
265
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,859
Are you OK?
266
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:28,159
Yeah. I'm fine.
267
00:21:30,870 --> 00:21:32,829
[ TOPPER, SHAKILY ] Oh...
268
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,169
Attention on deck.
269
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:38,919
At ease, men.
270
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,299
Be seated.
271
00:21:47,050 --> 00:21:51,759
Many of you are wondering about my pants.
Well, they ran short of material at the knee.
272
00:21:51,850 --> 00:21:53,889
So don't give me any shit.
273
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:58,229
Now, I look out there
at all of you guys and I say to myself:
274
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:01,649
What I wouldn't give
to be 20 years younger,
275
00:22:01,730 --> 00:22:02,859
and a woman.
276
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:09,319
You know, I've flown over 194 missions,
and I was shot down on every one.
277
00:22:09,410 --> 00:22:13,739
Come to think of it, I've never
landed a plane in my life. Now,
278
00:22:13,830 --> 00:22:18,039
you men will be piloting the backbone
of our proud American arsenal:
279
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:22,289
The Oscar EW 5894 Phallus
tactical fighter bomber.
280
00:22:22,380 --> 00:22:26,629
Its lightweight swept-wing design
makes it extremely manoeuvrable and agile.
281
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:32,679
Beneath its 21st-century skin is a highly
advanced avionics and weapons package.
282
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,389
Designed for speed and combat acrobatics,
283
00:22:35,470 --> 00:22:40,439
it features the latest Mrs Halver
series 3800 radar-jamming Framus.
284
00:22:42,940 --> 00:22:44,689
- Admiral.
- Nurse.
285
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:49,199
[ BLOCK ] Sleepy Weasel's success depends
on our manoeuvring below enemy radar.
286
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,529
I wanna see a major display of low-level
flying. Topper, Kent, you're up first.
287
00:22:53,620 --> 00:22:57,039
- Show me what you can do.
- Copy that, Purple Fluffer Nutter.
288
00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:59,119
Roger that, Milli Vanilli Chilly Willy.
289
00:23:02,420 --> 00:23:07,629
Bring 'em down, boys. I want your bellies to
scrape the sagebrush. Let's see who's best.
290
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,009
[ KENT ] I'm heading for the canyon floor.
291
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:18,559
- For your information, I'm at 150 feet.
- I'm at 3rd and Main.
292
00:23:27,820 --> 00:23:30,609
Very pretty,
but enough hot-dogging, Harley.
293
00:23:30,950 --> 00:23:32,779
Just checking the traffic.
294
00:23:38,450 --> 00:23:41,329
- How'd I do, big fella?
- Don't get me started, Harley.
295
00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:44,749
Cut the chatter. Topper,
that was vintage Buzz Harley.
296
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,339
You and your dad are two of a kind.
[ ECHOES ]
297
00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:50,009
Your ego's writing cheques
your body can't cash.
298
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,849
[ BLOCK ] Topper! Get back in formation!
299
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,320
[ BLOCK ] Topper, you
weren't clear to detach.
300
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:10,279
- What was that all about?
- I, uh... thought I saw Elvis.
301
00:24:10,780 --> 00:24:13,199
Let it go, Topper.
The King is gone. Let's head for home.
302
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,379
Not again!
303
00:24:27,380 --> 00:24:31,629
I need a landing clearance
for runway 30... 30 something.
304
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:35,219
30-ehirty-something's been cancelled.
Go to runway 2-niner.
305
00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:41,370
[ BLOCK ] Wash Out, what the hell
are you doing? Pull it up.
306
00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:48,979
Wash Out, where the hell are you?
What is your location? You're off of radar.
307
00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:50,569
Repeat: What is your location?
308
00:24:50,650 --> 00:24:53,699
It's not unusual to be loved by anyone.
309
00:24:58,740 --> 00:25:00,579
- Going up?
- Yes.
310
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,589
Can I press your button?
311
00:25:12,670 --> 00:25:17,089
No, you've been slaving over hot psychotics
all day. Let me get that.
312
00:25:23,020 --> 00:25:26,689
- Interesting perfume.
- It's Vicks. I have a cold.
313
00:25:26,770 --> 00:25:27,809
Ah.
314
00:25:29,610 --> 00:25:32,069
Lieutenant, you're staring.
315
00:25:32,150 --> 00:25:35,029
No, not really. I'm lost in your eyes.
316
00:25:36,110 --> 00:25:40,949
That is the whitest white part of the eye
I've ever seen. Do you floss?
317
00:25:41,410 --> 00:25:43,289
You're very confident, aren't you?
318
00:25:43,870 --> 00:25:47,539
When you have 10,000 pounds of thrust
at your command, you have to be.
319
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,629
Lieutenant, please.
I'm talking to you as a psychiatrist.
320
00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:56,049
I'm recommending that you be grounded.
321
00:25:56,930 --> 00:26:00,349
- You've got to be joking.
- If I were joking, I'd have said...
322
00:26:00,430 --> 00:26:02,430
"What do you do
with an elephant with three balls?"
323
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,269
"You walk him and pitch to the rhino."
324
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,479
- You are serious.
- It's the best thing for you, and the mission.
325
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:14,029
The best would be
if you'd stop trying to run my life.
326
00:26:14,110 --> 00:26:16,899
I'm a pilot, and nobody's gonna
keep me out of the sky.
327
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:23,449
Ladies and gentlemen!
Twelve rounds of boxing
328
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:27,909
for the WBA WBC WPA RSVP.
329
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,999
Heavyweight Championship of the World!
330
00:26:31,790 --> 00:26:34,339
Introducing celebrities at ringside,
331
00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:38,339
please welcome His Holiness,
the very popular pontiff,
332
00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:42,349
- Pope John Paul II!
- [ CHEERING AND WHISTLING ]
333
00:26:42,430 --> 00:26:43,679
Second!
334
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,439
Lieutenant Commander Block.
We meet at last.
335
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:55,149
- Isn't this place a little public?
- No, a crowd offers remarkable anonymity.
336
00:26:56,190 --> 00:26:58,239
How are we doing at Dudley?
337
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,449
Oh, we're right on schedule.
338
00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:02,259
Can't quite get a reading
on Admiral Benson,
339
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,619
but Topper Harley's playing into our hands.
340
00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:10,209
Here's his evaluation. A clear-cut case
of Paternal Conflict Syndrome.
341
00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:12,459
Ah, yes. PCS.
342
00:27:12,540 --> 00:27:17,049
I saw an After school Special on that.
They're years away from a vaccine.
343
00:27:17,170 --> 00:27:20,799
Every time I mention Buzz's name,
Topper goes off.
344
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,679
There's no way the unit will function,
and I'll abort the mission.
345
00:27:25,140 --> 00:27:30,439
The Navy's planes will seem inferior and the
president will beg for my super fighter.
346
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:33,689
And, best of all, nobody gets hurt.
347
00:27:33,770 --> 00:27:36,109
Well done, Lieutenant Commander.
348
00:27:36,730 --> 00:27:40,569
America can't afford to fall behind,
Mr Wilson. We need your plane.
349
00:27:41,570 --> 00:27:44,069
This should be a good match.
Both men work for Don King.
350
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:45,529
[ BELL ]
351
00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:52,079
- [ CROWD BOOS ]
- Well, fans, that's it.
352
00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:54,789
Good night. I'm outta here!
353
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,799
[ MC ] The Strafing Run
proudly presents Lawrence Lipps!
354
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,009
And now...
355
00:28:02,340 --> 00:28:03,629
What the world needs.
356
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:04,929
Thank you!
357
00:28:05,010 --> 00:28:06,010
Is love.
358
00:28:06,100 --> 00:28:07,259
Thank you so much!
359
00:28:07,430 --> 00:28:11,849
That's the only thing
that there's just too darn little of
360
00:28:15,150 --> 00:28:16,519
[ CHEERING ]
361
00:28:21,030 --> 00:28:23,109
Ramada?
362
00:28:23,610 --> 00:28:25,949
- Kent!
- Ramada!
363
00:28:26,870 --> 00:28:29,789
Qu'est-ce que je suis
contente de Te revoir.
364
00:28:30,450 --> 00:28:32,999
- [ GLASS SMASHES ]
- [ WOMAN ] Argh! My eyes!
365
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,959
Darling, I thought you
were still in Brussel.
366
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,629
Oh, Kent. We were only hurting each other.
367
00:28:38,750 --> 00:28:40,310
I thought that's the way you wanted it.
368
00:28:42,300 --> 00:28:47,509
Something's changed. It's not another
woman, is it? I couldn't compete with that.
369
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,809
No, of course you couldn't.
370
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,979
Well, what matters is that you're here.
We've a lot of catching up to do.
371
00:28:55,060 --> 00:28:58,269
Wonderful. Just let me
take care of something.
372
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,149
- Don't be long, Mon amour.
- Absolument.
373
00:29:02,490 --> 00:29:03,899
[ JAZZY INTRO ]
374
00:29:15,790 --> 00:29:18,289
Some day he'll come along.
375
00:29:19,290 --> 00:29:21,339
The man I love.
376
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,259
And he'll be big and strong.
377
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:26,969
The man I love.
378
00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:30,599
And when he comes my way
379
00:29:31,010 --> 00:29:33,059
I'll do my best.
380
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:37,599
To make... him... stay.
381
00:29:40,690 --> 00:29:43,189
He'll look at me and smile
382
00:29:44,030 --> 00:29:46,529
I'll understand.
383
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,489
And in a little while.
384
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:52,079
He'll take my hand.
385
00:29:53,370 --> 00:29:55,999
And though it seems absurd
386
00:29:56,330 --> 00:30:02,709
I know we both... won't say... a... word.
387
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,419
Wow!
388
00:30:06,510 --> 00:30:08,339
Anybody here from out of town?
389
00:30:09,050 --> 00:30:12,389
Welcome. Nice to see you.
390
00:30:15,060 --> 00:30:19,399
Maybe I shall meet him someday.
391
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,479
Maybe Monday.
392
00:30:23,190 --> 00:30:25,359
Maybe not.
393
00:30:27,990 --> 00:30:31,409
Still I'm sure to meet him one day.
394
00:30:32,580 --> 00:30:34,619
Maybe Tuesday.
395
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:39,209
Will be my good-news day.
396
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:55,219
We'll build a little home.
397
00:30:55,310 --> 00:30:57,889
Just meant for two.
398
00:30:58,270 --> 00:31:01,019
From which I'll never roam.
399
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,939
Who would? Would you?
400
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,109
And so all else above
401
00:31:07,610 --> 00:31:09,649
I'm dreaming of.
402
00:31:09,740 --> 00:31:14,869
The man... I... love.
403
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,039
One day he'll come along.
404
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:20,999
He'll be big and strong.
405
00:31:22,130 --> 00:31:24,249
And when he comes my way
406
00:31:24,340 --> 00:31:27,379
I'll do my best to make him stay.
407
00:31:27,460 --> 00:31:31,469
And so all else above
408
00:31:31,550 --> 00:31:33,589
I'm dreaming of.
409
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:40,639
The man I love
410
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:45,649
[ FLAMBOYANT FINISH ON PIANO ]
411
00:31:45,730 --> 00:31:47,069
[ CHEERING ]
412
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,319
- Ramada...
- Oh, no.
413
00:31:53,910 --> 00:31:56,989
Well, if it isn't God's
gift to the cockpit.
414
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:02,499
- Kent, your nostrils are flaring.
- That flying stunt today was pure madness.
415
00:32:02,580 --> 00:32:06,089
If a lady wasn't present,
I'd tear you apart like a Christmas goose.
416
00:32:06,340 --> 00:32:09,669
Yeah? Keep it up, you'll be carrying
your face home in a doggy bag.
417
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,299
What is this macho thing?
418
00:32:12,340 --> 00:32:13,839
- He started it.
- Did not.
419
00:32:14,340 --> 00:32:15,549
- Did too.
- Did not.
420
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,349
- You're behaving like children.
- He's a jerk.
421
00:32:18,430 --> 00:32:20,019
- Am not.
- Are too.
422
00:32:20,100 --> 00:32:21,979
- Am not.
- Are too too too...
423
00:32:22,060 --> 00:32:23,689
- Not not not...
- too too too...
424
00:32:23,810 --> 00:32:25,479
Are too times ten.
425
00:32:26,150 --> 00:32:28,019
- That's it.
- Stop it.
426
00:32:28,110 --> 00:32:29,689
- [ WOMAN ] Rumble!
- Don't push me.
427
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:42,409
Stop it! Can't you act
like civilised human beings?
428
00:32:42,540 --> 00:32:45,169
- [ MAN ] Hey, I'm sorry.
- I love you, pal.
429
00:32:48,130 --> 00:32:52,209
Listen. Kent and I have
to talk, so please...
430
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:54,719
Be my guest.
431
00:33:04,390 --> 00:33:06,309
Let's celebrate, honey.
432
00:33:06,810 --> 00:33:08,649
Hey, everybody. Drinks are on me.
433
00:33:08,730 --> 00:33:10,479
- Free beer!
- I want a gin sling!
434
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,959
You haven't forgotten my offer, have you?
435
00:33:25,370 --> 00:33:29,169
Little house in the country,
white picket fence, Stair Master.
436
00:33:29,590 --> 00:33:32,209
Kent, you're everything
a woman could possibly want.
437
00:33:33,300 --> 00:33:36,259
But I'm just not ready for marriage.
Not yet.
438
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,349
Well, I have to get back to the base.
Tomorrow's an important flight.
439
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,960
You know how puffy my eyes get
when I don't get enough rest.
440
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:48,849
Good night.
441
00:33:53,820 --> 00:33:54,989
May I?
442
00:33:56,490 --> 00:33:59,869
- Shouldn't you be getting back to the base?
- I suppose,
443
00:33:59,950 --> 00:34:02,239
if I played life by the rules,
but you know I don't.
444
00:34:03,450 --> 00:34:06,329
All right. You can walk me to my apartment.
445
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,999
I shouldn't have gotten mad
in the elevator today.
446
00:34:12,090 --> 00:34:14,759
But when I want something that bad,
I get all fired up.
447
00:34:15,510 --> 00:34:18,969
Maybe that's why I worry so.
Maybe more than I should.
448
00:34:19,340 --> 00:34:22,259
Something terrible could happen.
You must...
449
00:34:23,720 --> 00:34:25,679
- But I...
- Don't worry.
450
00:34:26,810 --> 00:34:28,729
Everything will be fine. I promise.
451
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:30,939
Boy, I hope so.
452
00:34:38,450 --> 00:34:40,069
Well, this is it.
453
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,909
- It's a nice place.
- It's OK.
454
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,869
The only problem is I have a nosy landlady.
455
00:34:50,750 --> 00:34:52,669
Well, I guess this is good night.
456
00:34:53,710 --> 00:34:55,339
I don't wanna go back.
457
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,509
You don't have to.
458
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,839
I don't want to be alone.
459
00:35:01,260 --> 00:35:04,719
And, by the way,
I can go all night like a lumberjack.
460
00:35:08,190 --> 00:35:09,979
What about your landlady?
461
00:35:10,060 --> 00:35:11,229
You can do her, too.
462
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,159
So, I take it you've
been with a man before.
463
00:35:31,540 --> 00:35:32,999
I'm a virgin.
464
00:35:33,790 --> 00:35:35,799
I'm just not very good at it.
465
00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:38,459
[ GULPS ]
466
00:35:39,010 --> 00:35:41,219
[ ALL BY MYSELF INSTRUMENTAL ]
467
00:36:29,850 --> 00:36:31,349
[ RAMADA SIGHS ]
468
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:36,939
[ RAMADA MOANS WITH PLEASURE ]
469
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:45,449
Ooh!
470
00:36:58,170 --> 00:36:59,209
Ah!
471
00:37:08,850 --> 00:37:11,309
[ SENSUALLY ] Yes. Oh, yes...
472
00:37:14,310 --> 00:37:17,979
- [ SIZZLING ]
- [ RAMADA MOANS WITH PLEASURE ]
473
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,579
[ RAMADA ] Ah! Topper...
474
00:37:42,340 --> 00:37:43,419
Oh...
475
00:37:51,180 --> 00:37:52,719
[ REVEILLE ]
476
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,489
Wash Out!
477
00:38:09,570 --> 00:38:12,279
Get into your flight suit.
We're ready to go up.
478
00:38:12,790 --> 00:38:16,209
I got kicked out.
My flight status has been withdrawn.
479
00:38:16,290 --> 00:38:17,369
I'm through, Dead Meat.
480
00:38:17,540 --> 00:38:21,459
- What happened?
- It's my eyes. I've got wall-eye vision.
481
00:38:24,670 --> 00:38:29,299
- Can't something be done?
- A delicate corneal inversion procedure.
482
00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:30,969
A multioptipupiloptomy.
483
00:38:31,050 --> 00:38:32,849
But, to keep from
damaging the eye sockets,
484
00:38:32,930 --> 00:38:34,490
they've gotta go in through the rectum.
485
00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:37,889
Ain't no man gonna take that route with me.
486
00:38:40,110 --> 00:38:41,790
Is Topper around? I'd like to say goodbye.
487
00:38:42,770 --> 00:38:47,859
He didn't come back last night. He's AWOL.
As soon as Block finds out, he's history.
488
00:38:48,030 --> 00:38:50,659
But flying's his life.
He's the best pilot in the world.
489
00:38:50,740 --> 00:38:52,829
We need him as much as he needs us.
490
00:38:52,910 --> 00:38:56,119
I can't find my lucky gum. Do you have...
491
00:38:56,580 --> 00:38:57,869
Wash Out?
492
00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:14,009
Oh, my God. I missed my flight.
493
00:39:15,060 --> 00:39:16,599
You're amazing.
494
00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:21,189
Dead Meat!
495
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:26,439
Mary!
496
00:39:28,530 --> 00:39:31,359
- Come to watch me fly?
- No. There was a meltdown at the plant.
497
00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:33,449
- They gave me afternoon off.
- Terrific!
498
00:39:35,410 --> 00:39:39,869
Oh! Good news. We just closed escrow
on our little dream house.
499
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,209
- Wonderful! When do we move in?
- Tuesday.
500
00:39:42,290 --> 00:39:45,039
The kids are stripping
the asbestos off the pipes now.
501
00:39:45,130 --> 00:39:48,379
That's great!
Things couldn't be better for us.
502
00:39:48,470 --> 00:39:49,969
I'm so blessed.
503
00:39:50,510 --> 00:39:53,799
Oh! Your life insurance forms
came for you to sign.
504
00:39:55,220 --> 00:39:57,599
- [ MIRROR SMASHES ]
- Oh, my mirror!
505
00:40:01,390 --> 00:40:02,479
Huh!
506
00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:07,569
- I'll get another pen.
- No need. I'll sign it when I get back.
507
00:40:07,650 --> 00:40:09,279
Well, you know best.
508
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:13,659
Honey, you know that global-warming
problem? I know how we can reverse it.
509
00:40:13,740 --> 00:40:16,489
- Tell me.
- No, not now, lovey-bumpers.
510
00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:18,739
There'll be plenty of time for that later.
511
00:40:18,830 --> 00:40:21,709
And my investigation
into JFK's assassination?
512
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,959
You found the evidence you wanted?
513
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:28,169
Yes. It's right here in my pocket.
It's big, honey.
514
00:40:28,250 --> 00:40:29,839
It goes all the way to the White House.
515
00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:34,339
- Do you want me to hold it for you?
- Nah. It'll be safe right here.
516
00:40:34,430 --> 00:40:36,599
I'm in a jet. What could go wrong?
517
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:41,179
Oh, Dead Meat. We just couldn't be
any more perfectly happy.
518
00:40:48,820 --> 00:40:50,819
Where the hell is Topper?
519
00:40:52,490 --> 00:40:53,949
Thanks for joining the party!
520
00:40:54,610 --> 00:40:58,329
Hey, Topper!
You seen any of my lucky gum?
521
00:40:58,410 --> 00:40:59,449
No.
522
00:41:01,450 --> 00:41:03,709
Freedom Squadron, start your engines.
523
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,959
God, that's loud. My ear canals
are very sensitive. Stainless steel.
524
00:41:10,050 --> 00:41:13,879
Took a bullet in Corregidor.
Passed straight through. Look at this.
525
00:41:20,220 --> 00:41:21,309
Huh?
526
00:41:23,730 --> 00:41:25,519
We have these to hold down the sound, sir.
527
00:41:26,270 --> 00:41:27,899
Oh, good. Thanks.
528
00:41:31,730 --> 00:41:35,069
Let's hope they do the trick.
Give me the mike, boy.
529
00:41:35,610 --> 00:41:38,069
For the love of God, man, be careful!
530
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,869
Ever since Normandy, this is Corning Ware.
531
00:41:40,950 --> 00:41:45,619
Those of you who excel
during these aerial combat exercises
532
00:41:45,710 --> 00:41:50,169
will go on to make up
the greatest fighting unit ever assembled.
533
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:56,179
- Topper, keep that nose up!
- He's never done that before.
534
00:41:56,260 --> 00:41:59,599
Red team leader, break off.
Prepare to engage.
535
00:41:59,890 --> 00:42:01,259
Roger that.
536
00:42:05,100 --> 00:42:07,519
- Blue leader, prepare for action.
- Roger that.
537
00:42:09,230 --> 00:42:10,609
[ ROCK MUSIC ]
538
00:42:15,990 --> 00:42:17,779
I'm minus six. Moving in.
539
00:42:19,910 --> 00:42:22,449
I've got tone! Got him!
540
00:42:22,620 --> 00:42:24,699
Dead Meat, confirm kill.
541
00:42:32,750 --> 00:42:34,419
- Mrs Thompson?
- Yes.
542
00:42:34,510 --> 00:42:37,879
- I'm Topper Harley.
- Oh! Dead Meat's talked about you!
543
00:42:37,970 --> 00:42:40,469
Oh, he thinks the world of you!
544
00:42:40,550 --> 00:42:42,969
But... shouldn't you be
up there flying with the squad?
545
00:42:47,140 --> 00:42:49,809
I've got a lock. I'm closing in.
546
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:53,569
- [ GOOSE ] Uh-oh!
- He's spotted me! He's a slippery devil.
547
00:42:55,820 --> 00:42:58,109
Topper! Watch your right side! Damn!
548
00:42:58,200 --> 00:42:59,989
I'm bailing out!
549
00:43:04,450 --> 00:43:07,079
Wash Out? What are you doing here?
550
00:43:07,250 --> 00:43:08,869
There's no time to go into it.
551
00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:10,329
Uh-oh!
552
00:43:10,790 --> 00:43:12,829
[ WASH OUT ] Do me a favour, don't land.
553
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:18,009
- Get outta here! We're gonna crash!
- I can't! I'm stuck!
554
00:43:18,220 --> 00:43:20,879
Then I must help you, my friend!
Think well of me!
555
00:43:24,970 --> 00:43:27,019
[ WASH OUT ] Thank youuuuu...
556
00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:30,189
- Don't. Don't look.
- Oh, no!
557
00:43:36,900 --> 00:43:38,029
Whoa!
558
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,119
[ SIREN ]
559
00:43:53,130 --> 00:43:54,539
Oh, man!
560
00:43:54,670 --> 00:43:56,299
Wendy, I can fly!
561
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:05,679
- [ MEEKLY ] Hey, Topper.
- Easy, buddy.
562
00:44:08,180 --> 00:44:11,059
- The darnedest thing just happened.
- Hang on, buddy.
563
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:12,889
Topper?
564
00:44:14,060 --> 00:44:16,189
Swing him around this way.
565
00:44:18,900 --> 00:44:20,779
Let's go. One, two...
566
00:44:22,570 --> 00:44:24,699
Let's move it. Come on!
567
00:44:24,780 --> 00:44:26,409
- Come on!
- Enough!
568
00:44:26,580 --> 00:44:27,829
[ SIREN ]
569
00:44:30,660 --> 00:44:31,829
Hello!
570
00:44:53,810 --> 00:44:56,899
- We'll have you in the hospital in no time.
- [ WASH OUT YELLS ]
571
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:04,449
Good morning! Excuse me!
572
00:45:05,490 --> 00:45:07,369
Wait, guys! Wait!
573
00:45:08,660 --> 00:45:10,489
Let's go, let's go.
574
00:45:10,580 --> 00:45:12,619
Easy. Easy, easy, easy.
575
00:45:13,750 --> 00:45:15,869
- Let's move.
- [ WASH OUT ] What a ride!
576
00:45:16,830 --> 00:45:19,879
- Wash Out. You made it.
- Why, thank you, André.
577
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,089
I'll have the veal piccata.
578
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,089
- Oh. Get the cardio read-out.
- Where is it?
579
00:45:27,430 --> 00:45:30,889
- Um... It's, uh...
- Hey, fellas...
580
00:45:30,970 --> 00:45:33,389
- Inside there on the left.
- I can't find it!
581
00:45:36,100 --> 00:45:37,849
- Doctor!
- What happened?
582
00:45:37,940 --> 00:45:39,309
Plane crash.
583
00:45:41,150 --> 00:45:44,859
- We gotta work fast. I got a lunch.
- You're missing the big picture, Doc.
584
00:45:44,950 --> 00:45:46,989
Nurse, check his penis
isn't longer than mine.
585
00:45:47,070 --> 00:45:49,829
- No, Doctor.
- Good. Now this is gonna hurt.
586
00:45:49,910 --> 00:45:50,949
Ow!
587
00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:53,749
Nurse, give me 15cc of morphine, quickly!
588
00:45:53,830 --> 00:45:56,919
- Can you save him?
- Can't be sure. I'm not a good doctor.
589
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,879
Thank you, Nurse. Wait here.
590
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:02,249
- You gonna be all right, buddy?
- I'm in a hospital! What could go wrong?
591
00:46:03,670 --> 00:46:05,379
[ CHURCH BELL TOLLS ]
592
00:46:12,180 --> 00:46:18,019
Mrs Thompson, I know you must hate me but...
there's something I want you to have.
593
00:46:18,270 --> 00:46:20,376
I've been putting a little away
for the past ten years.
594
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:24,149
It's not much. 2500. I
wish I could do more.
595
00:46:25,030 --> 00:46:26,449
Why, Topper.
596
00:46:27,610 --> 00:46:29,199
That's so sweet.
597
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,999
Why, with the three million
I won on this lucky Lotto ticket,
598
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:39,749
I can take this 2500
and just blow it all on hats.
599
00:46:44,590 --> 00:46:46,419
Right, and halt!
600
00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:52,049
[ DOG YELPS ]
601
00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:00,939
Pete "Dead Meat" Thompson... is dead.
602
00:47:01,650 --> 00:47:03,189
So is Mo Green,
603
00:47:03,900 --> 00:47:06,529
Tataglia, Barzini,
604
00:47:06,610 --> 00:47:09,109
the heads of all the five families.
605
00:47:10,070 --> 00:47:14,279
It is at moments like these, my dear
friends that we must ask ourselves,
606
00:47:14,370 --> 00:47:17,369
"How can this not be part
of some larger plan?"
607
00:47:17,460 --> 00:47:21,959
Do good men like Dead Meat Thompson
just blink out one day like a bad bulb?
608
00:47:22,250 --> 00:47:25,669
One minute you're in bed
with a knockout gal, or guy,
609
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:27,629
and the next, you're a compost heap.
610
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:32,389
Doesn't that bother you?
Because it scares the living piss outta me!
611
00:47:34,140 --> 00:47:36,889
[ BLOCK ] I never thought
this could happen.
612
00:47:36,970 --> 00:47:39,229
Don't we have what we need now,
Mr Wilson?
613
00:47:39,310 --> 00:47:41,849
This should be enough to prove
that our planes need replacing.
614
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:47,649
No. They have to fail in combat for the world
to take notice. This is a minor incident.
615
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,199
Minor? I just lost one of my best men!
616
00:47:52,780 --> 00:47:55,199
Are you backing out on us, Block?
617
00:47:55,410 --> 00:47:57,329
I'm doing this for my country,
618
00:47:57,410 --> 00:47:58,909
not for you.
619
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,129
We'll need the backup plan.
620
00:48:06,550 --> 00:48:08,209
Ready... Fire!
621
00:48:09,300 --> 00:48:10,629
Jumping Jesus, they're back!
622
00:48:11,470 --> 00:48:14,259
- [ GUNFIRE ]
- Take cover! Hit the deck!
623
00:48:17,100 --> 00:48:18,559
- Cover me!
- [ GUNFIRE ]
624
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,689
Battle stations! Battle stations!
625
00:48:24,810 --> 00:48:26,479
Have they no respect for the dead?
626
00:48:27,820 --> 00:48:29,319
[ SCREAMING ]
627
00:48:34,410 --> 00:48:36,659
God, I love a good funeral.
628
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,799
Topper, where are you going?
629
00:48:58,890 --> 00:49:01,139
I'm handing in my resignation.
630
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,480
You were right.
You said I was dangerous, and I am.
631
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:04,939
Topper, wait.
632
00:49:05,730 --> 00:49:08,689
Please, let's talk. Huh?
633
00:49:11,530 --> 00:49:14,449
They're right. I'm no
better than my father.
634
00:49:14,860 --> 00:49:18,909
It seems, no matter what I do,
I end up hurting someone.
635
00:49:20,370 --> 00:49:21,370
Ow!
636
00:49:23,540 --> 00:49:26,329
You've got to stop comparing yourself
with your father.
637
00:49:26,420 --> 00:49:28,379
You're two different people.
638
00:49:28,460 --> 00:49:31,459
- We both killed a man.
- That's just a coincidence.
639
00:49:31,550 --> 00:49:33,629
He loved jets. So do I.
640
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:35,879
He was a loner, just like me.
641
00:49:35,970 --> 00:49:38,549
For God's sakes,
I've even got my father's eyes.
642
00:49:39,390 --> 00:49:43,059
- Topper, please!
- Ah, they're just for luck.
643
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,599
You've got to make your own luck.
644
00:49:45,690 --> 00:49:48,439
Get back in the sky and prove yourself.
645
00:49:48,770 --> 00:49:50,769
Besides, there's something else.
646
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:57,199
After our first meeting in my office,
I sent my evaluation to Commander Block.
647
00:49:57,780 --> 00:50:01,199
I recommended you be grounded.
I was afraid someone might get hurt.
648
00:50:01,490 --> 00:50:02,909
What are you saying?
649
00:50:04,330 --> 00:50:07,249
I think someone wants Sleepy Weasel
to fail.
650
00:50:08,420 --> 00:50:11,249
- That's heavy.
- Totally.
651
00:50:11,340 --> 00:50:13,839
That's the other reason
why you need to fly.
652
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:17,509
This could be your only opportunity
to save the mission
653
00:50:17,590 --> 00:50:21,429
and solve your personal problems,
all in one fell swoop.
654
00:50:34,070 --> 00:50:35,569
Now read it back to me, Francine.
655
00:50:36,990 --> 00:50:40,199
And if you ever put your god-damn hands
on my wife again...
656
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:41,619
[ KNOCKING ]
657
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:46,039
- You wanted to see me, sir?
- Oh, Blank. Come in.
658
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:47,789
I've been expecting someone.
659
00:50:47,870 --> 00:50:50,419
- That'll be all, Francine.
- Yes, sir.
660
00:50:54,630 --> 00:50:57,009
- Pudding?
- No, thank you, sir.
661
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:01,549
I'll put this to you straight.
Thompson's death shocked us all.
662
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:03,559
And that hot shot Harley is responsible.
663
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:06,349
I want that smirking little wise-ass
outta here.
664
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:12,979
Morale on this base is shot to hell.
Just look out there.
665
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:17,319
Quiet. Now, hardly a man moving.
666
00:51:18,070 --> 00:51:20,199
Roy? Roy!
667
00:51:21,410 --> 00:51:25,329
Huh? I even went to school with that man.
It's just not the same.
668
00:51:25,660 --> 00:51:29,539
Been ignoring me all day.
Remind me to send him a note.
669
00:51:29,620 --> 00:51:31,039
Sir, may I say something?
670
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:35,299
I know Harley acted irresponsibly.
671
00:51:35,500 --> 00:51:39,009
But his kind lives on the edge.
Always willing to take a chance.
672
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:42,179
Now, we need Topper for this mission
for just that reason.
673
00:51:46,390 --> 00:51:48,389
I like your thinking, Colonel.
674
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,019
Besides, Thompson wasn't that good a pilot.
675
00:51:51,100 --> 00:51:56,069
He only had a small family. The kids are
a pain in the ass. The wife's on the sauce.
676
00:51:56,150 --> 00:51:58,439
Poor bastard's better off dead.
677
00:51:59,110 --> 00:52:00,399
What size shoes do you wear?
678
00:52:01,530 --> 00:52:03,819
- A nine, sir.
- Good.
679
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,409
It's settled. We'll send
Harley to the front.
680
00:52:06,490 --> 00:52:10,459
By the way. Thank you for having us
over to dinner the other night.
681
00:52:10,540 --> 00:52:12,999
Cheryl and I loved the stroganoff.
682
00:52:13,330 --> 00:52:16,499
- Sir, we didn't have dinner the other night.
- Really?
683
00:52:17,380 --> 00:52:20,509
Well, where the hell was I?
And who's this Cheryl?
684
00:52:20,970 --> 00:52:22,679
Ah, doesn't matter.
685
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:24,389
Run along, Sid.
686
00:52:27,180 --> 00:52:28,389
Cheryl?
687
00:52:33,690 --> 00:52:34,769
Kent?
688
00:52:39,030 --> 00:52:43,609
I came to get my chafing dish. Our orders
just came. We're shipping out in one hour.
689
00:52:43,700 --> 00:52:45,909
Are you coming along this time?
690
00:52:45,990 --> 00:52:47,989
- The chafing dish is not yours.
- It is.
691
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,199
- It isn't.
- OK, I don't want it.
692
00:52:50,290 --> 00:52:51,730
- I'll take it.
- You stay out of it.
693
00:52:52,460 --> 00:52:54,459
This is not the time or place.
694
00:52:54,540 --> 00:52:57,789
I've got a big score
to settle with you, my friend.
695
00:52:58,550 --> 00:52:59,629
Excuse me.
696
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:06,259
I've hurt him.
697
00:53:07,100 --> 00:53:08,349
Topper...
698
00:53:09,010 --> 00:53:11,719
Topper, you better go. I have to think.
699
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,979
Well, I don't.
700
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:18,359
- I've fallen for you like a blind roofer.
- I'm sorry?
701
00:53:19,150 --> 00:53:23,279
My heart is falling down around my ankles
like a wet pair of pants.
702
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,909
My whole life, all I've
wanted to do is fly.
703
00:53:27,990 --> 00:53:30,119
Bomb stuff. Shoot people down.
704
00:53:30,950 --> 00:53:35,039
But we've been through so much together.
Ramada, I need you.
705
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:36,120
I want you.
706
00:53:37,540 --> 00:53:42,089
Only you.
707
00:53:42,170 --> 00:53:47,799
Can make this world seem bright.
708
00:53:47,890 --> 00:53:52,599
Only you.
709
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:56,979
Can make the darkness bright.
710
00:53:57,230 --> 00:53:58,309
Wow!
711
00:53:58,610 --> 00:54:03,989
Only you, and you alone.
712
00:54:04,530 --> 00:54:09,909
Can thrill me like you do.
713
00:54:09,990 --> 00:54:16,919
And fill my heart with love for only you.
714
00:54:17,170 --> 00:54:19,419
Wah, wah, wah, wah.
715
00:54:19,500 --> 00:54:20,919
Ramada!
716
00:54:21,340 --> 00:54:22,549
Topper!
717
00:54:24,380 --> 00:54:25,919
Ramada!
718
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,049
I love you!
719
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,179
I love you.
720
00:54:34,930 --> 00:54:37,939
You are my destiny.
721
00:54:38,020 --> 00:54:40,149
It's not that easy, Ramada.
722
00:54:43,030 --> 00:54:45,189
This is one night you're
not turning me out.
723
00:54:46,860 --> 00:54:50,949
The magic that you do.
724
00:54:51,030 --> 00:54:54,369
You're my dream come true.
725
00:54:54,450 --> 00:55:00,459
My one and only you.
726
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:05,799
Oh-oh, only you.
727
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:10,969
Can make this change in me.
728
00:55:11,260 --> 00:55:15,219
For it's true.
729
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:19,809
You are my destiny
730
00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:21,269
[ COOING ]
731
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,649
When you hold my hand
732
00:55:24,730 --> 00:55:27,189
I understand.
733
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:31,029
The magic that you do.
734
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:34,579
You're my dream come true.
735
00:55:34,660 --> 00:55:36,159
My one.
736
00:55:38,620 --> 00:55:42,249
And only.
737
00:55:42,330 --> 00:55:46,129
You.
738
00:55:47,340 --> 00:55:50,259
Topper, I'm so confused. I need time alone.
739
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,619
Admiral Benson!
740
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,619
Really? That's my name, too.
741
00:56:24,130 --> 00:56:29,839
Yankee Doodle Floppy Disk, this is Foxtrot
Zulu Milkshake. Request permission to land.
742
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:34,179
Roger that. You are cleared to land.
Welcome to the Mediterranean.
743
00:56:34,260 --> 00:56:35,759
Wash Out, is that you?
744
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:40,769
You bet! They put me in charge of radar.
I'm your eyes on the ground.
745
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:47,109
All crews report to the flight deck.
All crews report to the flight deck.
746
00:57:27,020 --> 00:57:28,609
Have you no decency?
747
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:41,699
Ah! The open sea.
748
00:57:43,250 --> 00:57:46,789
Oh, God. I wish I could smell.
I had my nostrils fried in Panmunjom.
749
00:57:47,710 --> 00:57:48,879
Admiral Benson!
750
00:57:50,170 --> 00:57:53,629
Meet Mr Wilson and Mr Rosener
of Rockman Aviation.
751
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:55,419
They'll be observing the operation.
752
00:57:55,510 --> 00:57:56,589
Yes, of course.
753
00:57:58,140 --> 00:58:00,219
It's OK. I'm all right. No problem.
754
00:58:01,430 --> 00:58:04,849
I slipped on the crab.
Who put that crab there?
755
00:58:04,940 --> 00:58:09,019
- Crab? I didn't see any crab.
- There were two crabs. They work in pairs.
756
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:11,359
I went to Annapolis, for Christ's sake.
757
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:16,319
- From the Pentagon, sir. We just decoded it.
- Help me with this. My eyes are ceramic.
758
00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:21,079
A bazooka round at Little Bighorn. Or was
it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.
759
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:23,999
It's final orders.
We strike tomorrow at 0600.
760
00:58:24,080 --> 00:58:27,079
Excellent. Wake me up at, oh... 5.30.
761
00:58:53,650 --> 00:58:55,149
[ COCK CROWS ]
762
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:04,829
- Get outta your flight suit. You're not going.
- What do you mean?
763
00:59:04,910 --> 00:59:08,659
This mission is too important
to let you screw it up. You're not flying.
764
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:10,499
- Am too.
- Are not.
765
00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:14,589
- Am too.
- [ MEN ] Oooh!
766
00:59:14,670 --> 00:59:16,879
- All right, mister. Let's go at it.
- Let's do it.
767
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:19,299
Come on, come on.
768
00:59:19,380 --> 00:59:21,049
[ MEN SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT ]
769
00:59:21,140 --> 00:59:22,799
[ MUFFLED SHOUTING ]
770
00:59:32,810 --> 00:59:34,189
[ MEN ] Whoa!
771
00:59:34,820 --> 00:59:36,979
- My face!
- My hand!
772
00:59:38,450 --> 00:59:39,859
Attention on deck!
773
00:59:41,530 --> 00:59:42,869
Be seated.
774
00:59:47,290 --> 00:59:49,579
Gentlemen, we've waited
a long time to hear this.
775
00:59:49,670 --> 00:59:53,789
In exactly five hours and 17 minutes,
we hit the enemy toast.
776
00:59:54,290 --> 00:59:58,169
- I think that's the enemy coast, sir.
- Huh? Coast?
777
01:00:00,010 --> 01:00:01,879
That'll take a little more planning.
778
01:00:01,970 --> 01:00:05,679
We have to knock out the nuclear-weapons
plant at Falafel Heights.
779
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:08,469
The plant goes on line in 12 hours
and is heavily defended.
780
01:00:09,730 --> 01:00:15,269
If you have trouble hitting your objective,
your secondary targets are here and here:
781
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,029
An accordion factory and a mime school.
782
01:00:18,990 --> 01:00:21,699
Good luck, gentlemen. Blink, take over.
783
01:00:24,030 --> 01:00:25,779
- Oh, one more thing.
- [ CLANG ]
784
01:00:25,870 --> 01:00:28,369
I'll get that. It's probably for me.
785
01:00:33,290 --> 01:00:35,789
Our sortie will proceed as planned.
786
01:00:36,380 --> 01:00:38,879
And I want Topper Harley
leading our squadron into battle.
787
01:00:42,340 --> 01:00:43,759
Lieutenant Commander, sir.
788
01:00:44,430 --> 01:00:47,969
It's nothing personal.
I know I speak for every man here.
789
01:00:48,060 --> 01:00:50,139
We've lost all respect for Harley.
790
01:00:50,230 --> 01:00:52,389
He's poison for the morale of the unit,
791
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:54,769
and a disaster
to the success of this mission.
792
01:00:54,860 --> 01:00:58,519
You're outta line, Gregory.
You'll obey orders and like it.
793
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:01,739
Now get to your planes.
794
01:01:13,210 --> 01:01:16,079
- Sir?
- What is it, Mr Harley?
795
01:01:17,380 --> 01:01:19,999
- I hope I'm wrong about this.
- What would that be?
796
01:01:20,300 --> 01:01:23,299
Nobody likes playing
for a coach who throws the big game.
797
01:01:24,550 --> 01:01:25,759
What's that supposed to mean?
798
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:30,309
My uncle told me that not playing to win
is like sleeping with your sister.
799
01:01:30,930 --> 01:01:34,809
Sure, she's a great piece of tail with a
blouseful of goodies, but it's illegal.
800
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:39,319
- Jesus, Topper. Come on.
- Then you get into that whole inbred thing.
801
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:41,479
Kids with no teeth who play the banjo,
802
01:01:41,570 --> 01:01:44,109
eat apple sauce through a straw,
pork farm animals.
803
01:01:44,700 --> 01:01:45,949
Topper, that's enough.
804
01:01:47,450 --> 01:01:49,659
I think you get my point, sir.
805
01:01:49,790 --> 01:01:51,549
I just hope you're playing
straight with us.
806
01:02:16,940 --> 01:02:18,479
[ DOG YELPS ]
807
01:02:27,950 --> 01:02:31,489
Alpha Velveeta Knuckle Underwear,
you are cleared for take-off.
808
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:36,039
When you hit that nuclear-weapons plant,
drop a bomb for me.
809
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:38,959
Sphincter Mucous Niner Ringworm, roger.
810
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,379
[ ROCK MUSIC ]
811
01:03:05,690 --> 01:03:06,899
Olé!
812
01:03:24,090 --> 01:03:25,459
Yieeee!
813
01:03:36,390 --> 01:03:40,939
Holy cow! My cap blew off!
Swing her round. We'll pick it up.
814
01:03:41,020 --> 01:03:43,309
But, sir, we're on the mission.
815
01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:47,569
Good thinking.
We'll pick it up on the way back.
816
01:03:48,150 --> 01:03:51,409
We gotta mark the spot, though.
Put Rabinowitz in a life raft.
817
01:03:51,490 --> 01:03:55,159
- Have him row in circles until we return.
- It could be days.
818
01:03:55,910 --> 01:04:00,499
Then put some food in the life raft, man.
Do I have to think of everything?
819
01:04:00,580 --> 01:04:02,959
We'll tape his favourite shows.
820
01:04:03,250 --> 01:04:06,129
- Sir, there's no time.
- OK, OK!
821
01:04:06,210 --> 01:04:08,339
How can I be an admiral without my cap?
822
01:04:08,420 --> 01:04:12,179
It's out there all alone
and I'm powerless to do anything about it.
823
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:14,969
[ BLOCK ] We're entering enemy airspace.
824
01:04:18,890 --> 01:04:21,849
Sir, it appears we have
unidentified radar contacts.
825
01:04:21,940 --> 01:04:28,609
- Looks like enemy aircraft at 12 o'clock.
- Really? That gives us about... 25 minutes.
826
01:04:28,690 --> 01:04:30,239
Think I'll step out for a burger.
827
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:42,119
Sir, there are six of them!
Bearing 2-1-5, range 150 mi...
828
01:04:45,130 --> 01:04:47,249
Oh my God, a dozen more of them.
829
01:04:47,340 --> 01:04:52,129
And a blimp! A big, shiny blimp,
and it's slowly moving south!
830
01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:57,049
- Block, have you got a tally on the bandits?
- Roger that. I got 'em.
831
01:04:57,140 --> 01:05:01,309
All right. Resume combat spread.
Attack formation Delta-niner.
832
01:05:01,690 --> 01:05:04,979
Topper in the lead.
Just like your old man, son.
833
01:05:06,110 --> 01:05:09,149
Old Buzz Harley'd be proud of you, Topper.
834
01:05:11,070 --> 01:05:13,339
[ KENT ] He's the type that could end up
killing every man in this outfit.
835
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,029
He's poison for morale of the unit.
836
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:17,489
[ GEORGE BUSH ] Read... my... lips.
837
01:05:17,580 --> 01:05:21,409
- No... new... taxes.
- [ CROWD CHEERS ]
838
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:25,369
- Topper, what are you doing?
- He's frozen! Topper's no good to us!
839
01:05:26,710 --> 01:05:29,629
Abort the mission! Abort the mission!
840
01:05:29,710 --> 01:05:31,509
Return to mother!
841
01:05:36,340 --> 01:05:37,969
We can't! They're all over us!
842
01:05:39,180 --> 01:05:47,179
[ PSEUDO-ARABIC ]
843
01:05:48,980 --> 01:05:52,779
- Damn it! All right, engage!
- I've got a bogie at 12 o'clock!
844
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:56,529
[ PSEUDO-ARABIC ]
845
01:05:57,280 --> 01:06:00,579
I got two on my tail!
Kowalski, get 'em off me.
846
01:06:03,460 --> 01:06:05,209
Locked up! Fox two!
847
01:06:05,870 --> 01:06:06,959
[ PSEUDO-ARABIC ]
848
01:06:09,460 --> 01:06:11,299
[ KOWALSKI ] My missile didn't track!
849
01:06:11,380 --> 01:06:13,799
[ KENT ] My engine's cut out.
I'm losing power.
850
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:18,389
[ TOPPER ] My cannons won't fire!
What's going on?
851
01:06:20,100 --> 01:06:21,599
I've got two bandits on my six!
852
01:06:27,060 --> 01:06:29,939
This is insane. Wilson and Rosener.
853
01:06:30,770 --> 01:06:34,319
It was them, wasn't it?
They said nobody was gonna get hurt!
854
01:06:34,400 --> 01:06:36,569
Block, call your men back.
855
01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:41,199
Like hell I will! I got
the best pilot in the world up here.
856
01:06:41,370 --> 01:06:43,699
Topper! Topper, do you read me?
857
01:06:43,790 --> 01:06:48,919
I was there 20 years ago. I was there
with your father and Mail-man Farnham.
858
01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:52,709
I was an eyewitness.
You gotta listen to me, Topper.
859
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:54,839
What they said about your dad is wrong.
860
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:56,799
Eject, Mail-man. Eject!
861
01:06:58,430 --> 01:07:00,389
I can't! My seat's jammed!
862
01:07:00,470 --> 01:07:02,549
- Nothing works!
- Stay calm!
863
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:05,809
- My harness is malfunctioning!
- I'll get it!
864
01:07:07,350 --> 01:07:10,099
Buzz! The nose! The nose!
865
01:07:10,940 --> 01:07:13,689
Whoa! Sit tight!
866
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:17,779
Whoa... Whoa!
867
01:07:17,860 --> 01:07:20,489
Come on! Hurry!
868
01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:25,909
Get the lead out!
869
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:28,959
[ BUZZ ] It's gonna be OK!
870
01:07:31,460 --> 01:07:33,629
Wow! That was sure close!
871
01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:37,419
Buzz! Get back here!
872
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:41,089
Whoaaa!
873
01:07:41,930 --> 01:07:43,139
Argh!
874
01:07:44,470 --> 01:07:46,139
[ FALSETTO ] I'm OK!
875
01:07:47,930 --> 01:07:50,889
Buzz! The wing! The wing!
876
01:07:50,980 --> 01:07:52,229
Hurry!
877
01:07:54,820 --> 01:07:56,859
What, are you on a break?
878
01:07:57,530 --> 01:08:01,319
- Hurry!
- I'm here!
879
01:08:02,740 --> 01:08:04,829
Hey, whose gum is this? Whoa!
880
01:08:04,910 --> 01:08:07,539
Oh, for God's sake! Not now!
881
01:08:12,210 --> 01:08:15,419
Got it! Hold on! We'll
bring this baby down!
882
01:08:15,500 --> 01:08:17,049
Stop squirming!
883
01:08:17,670 --> 01:08:18,879
Hang on!
884
01:08:20,010 --> 01:08:22,839
- Whoa!
- Those are my socks!
885
01:08:23,720 --> 01:08:25,759
Buzz! Get back here!
886
01:08:26,260 --> 01:08:30,139
[ BLOCK ] Your father did everything
possible to save Mailman's life.
887
01:08:30,230 --> 01:08:34,689
You should be proud, son.
Buzz Harley is a true American hero.
888
01:08:39,030 --> 01:08:41,739
- I'm hit! I'm hit!
- Block, are you all right?
889
01:08:41,820 --> 01:08:43,409
Yes! Yes!
890
01:08:43,950 --> 01:08:45,699
Give 'em hell!
891
01:08:46,030 --> 01:08:48,239
Got it! This is for you, Dad.
892
01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:53,999
- They're on my tail.
- I'm with you, buddy.
893
01:08:56,380 --> 01:08:57,919
Hang in there.
894
01:09:01,510 --> 01:09:03,379
My guns are jammed.
895
01:09:03,510 --> 01:09:05,179
- [ BEEPING ]
- They got tone on me!
896
01:09:06,470 --> 01:09:08,179
I'm gonna have to do it the hard way.
897
01:09:11,060 --> 01:09:12,269
Anybody home?
898
01:09:14,600 --> 01:09:15,979
They fell for that one.
899
01:09:17,110 --> 01:09:20,229
- Topper! Three bandits, 12 o'clock!
- I'm on 'em!
900
01:09:24,450 --> 01:09:26,069
Here we go, loop de loop.
901
01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:28,369
- Couscous!
- [ PSEUDO-ARABIC ]
902
01:09:31,290 --> 01:09:33,959
Learned this one from Paula Abdul.
903
01:09:42,130 --> 01:09:43,419
Oldest trick in the book.
904
01:09:50,270 --> 01:09:53,679
Catch me if you can, guys.
Here's an old Buzz Harley move.
905
01:09:57,020 --> 01:09:59,309
- Oh, boys...
- Agh!
906
01:10:01,070 --> 01:10:03,649
I'm on their tails. I've got 'em now.
907
01:10:08,950 --> 01:10:10,369
Hey, buddy.
908
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:12,449
[ PSEUDO-ARABIC ]
909
01:10:16,290 --> 01:10:17,650
It looks like they're bugging out.
910
01:10:20,340 --> 01:10:21,629
Yikes!
911
01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:23,799
[ SQUEAL OF BRAKES ]
912
01:10:29,850 --> 01:10:32,809
Saved by the clouds. Come on in, boys.
913
01:10:32,890 --> 01:10:34,389
[ PSEUDO-ARABIC ]
914
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:36,479
A little hide-and-seek.
915
01:10:37,060 --> 01:10:38,649
[ PSEUDO-ARABIC ]
916
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:44,689
See ya later, guys.
917
01:10:46,570 --> 01:10:49,659
This could be the end
of a beautiful friendship.
918
01:10:53,450 --> 01:10:55,659
[ KENT ] Topper, look out!
919
01:10:56,660 --> 01:10:58,829
I got two heat-seeking missiles on my tail.
920
01:11:00,460 --> 01:11:03,379
Block, Kent, Kowalski,
get the hell outta here.
921
01:11:03,880 --> 01:11:07,839
Get back to the ship!
I got me a nuclear-weapons plant to wax.
922
01:11:08,180 --> 01:11:10,679
- You're committing suicide!
- Do as he says!
923
01:11:14,060 --> 01:11:16,519
- [ SQUEAL OF BRAKES ]
- We are getting close.
924
01:11:17,270 --> 01:11:19,849
Missiles? Still with me. Come on.
925
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:28,359
If I can't lose 'em, I'll use 'em.
926
01:11:30,530 --> 01:11:32,069
The mother of all targets.
927
01:11:35,750 --> 01:11:37,369
Sayonara, Saddam.
928
01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:46,299
[ BLOCK ] Come in! Are you all right?
Topper, acknowledge!
929
01:11:46,630 --> 01:11:48,879
- Topper, do you read?
- Topper, are you all right?
930
01:12:00,770 --> 01:12:01,899
There they are!
931
01:12:06,440 --> 01:12:08,989
[ KENT ] Uh, we're landing.
Get out of the way.
932
01:12:11,410 --> 01:12:13,319
Run for your lives!
933
01:12:20,580 --> 01:12:22,579
[ CHEERING AND WHISTLING ]
934
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:27,799
- Where's Topper?
- Lost contact.
935
01:12:34,930 --> 01:12:37,929
- There he is!
- [ TOPPER ] Pyrex Pickle Blowfish.
936
01:12:38,020 --> 01:12:41,229
- Permission to land.
- [ CHEERING ]
937
01:12:42,270 --> 01:12:44,349
You'll have to talk me down.
I've got damage.
938
01:12:44,440 --> 01:12:46,109
Hold it, hold it!
939
01:12:46,190 --> 01:12:48,319
OK, Topper. Ease her in.
940
01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:50,439
- Landing gear's frozen.
- Looking good.
941
01:12:50,530 --> 01:12:53,909
- Lost my radar.
- A little more power now.
942
01:12:53,990 --> 01:12:56,239
- I'm out of fuel.
- Right for lineup.
943
01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:58,789
- Lost a wing.
- Doing fine.
944
01:12:58,870 --> 01:13:02,369
- There goes the other one.
- OK, Topper. Call the ball.
945
01:13:02,460 --> 01:13:04,209
Touching down.
946
01:13:05,250 --> 01:13:06,629
[ HUGE CHEER ]
947
01:13:09,920 --> 01:13:11,969
Wha-hoo!
948
01:13:16,140 --> 01:13:17,679
Well done, Jim!
949
01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:28,229
- You're quite a guy!
- So are you!
950
01:13:29,650 --> 01:13:30,979
Hey! Wash Out!
951
01:13:32,320 --> 01:13:33,989
Oh, Topper...
952
01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:41,369
You.
953
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,289
- I got one question for you.
- Shoot.
954
01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:51,629
What is a chafing dish for?
955
01:13:51,710 --> 01:13:56,049
Why, it's a traditional serving piece
used at brunches to keep food warm.
956
01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:59,639
- I thought that was a Crockpot.
- No, no, no.
957
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:02,599
That's for cooking all day.
A chafing dish...
958
01:14:09,110 --> 01:14:13,609
[ REPORTER ] Hey, Topper! Now that you've
made the world safe for democracy,
959
01:14:13,690 --> 01:14:16,319
what will you do
to cash in on your new-found fame?
960
01:14:16,410 --> 01:14:18,409
- I'm going to Disneyland!
- [ CHEERING ]
961
01:14:24,710 --> 01:14:28,329
You're very fortunate, Commander Block.
This man has your blood type.
962
01:14:28,960 --> 01:14:32,749
Don't worry, sir. After this transfusion,
you're gonna be just fine.
963
01:14:33,380 --> 01:14:36,799
I've only seen heroism like that
one other time.
964
01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:40,299
Maybe you know the pilot:
Leland "Buzz" Harley.
965
01:14:42,180 --> 01:14:45,429
I've been carrying this secret around
for 20 years.
966
01:14:45,690 --> 01:14:47,309
I never spoke up.
967
01:14:48,310 --> 01:14:50,109
I wanted him to fail.
968
01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:52,569
I wanted to be number one.
969
01:14:53,570 --> 01:14:55,069
And I was in love with your mother.
970
01:14:56,400 --> 01:15:00,869
It's not important now, sir. Please,
save your strength for your court martial.
971
01:15:00,990 --> 01:15:03,989
Topper, you had me pegged right.
972
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,829
I was throwing the big game.
973
01:15:05,910 --> 01:15:06,959
Oh!
974
01:15:09,210 --> 01:15:11,589
I really thought
we needed that other airplane.
975
01:15:12,800 --> 01:15:16,969
But now I realise that
American planes will always be superior
976
01:15:17,050 --> 01:15:20,299
as long as there are
wonderful men like you in the cockpit
977
01:15:20,390 --> 01:15:22,009
and German parts.
978
01:15:22,470 --> 01:15:27,179
I know you think it was me, but it was
Wilson and Rosener who sabotaged the jets.
979
01:15:27,480 --> 01:15:30,189
They played me like a two-bit piccolo.
980
01:15:30,270 --> 01:15:33,729
[ LAUGHS ] Oh! Oh...
981
01:15:42,780 --> 01:15:44,159
Whoaaaaa!
982
01:15:44,580 --> 01:15:47,659
I can see my house from here!
983
01:15:47,870 --> 01:15:49,119
[ Splash ]
984
01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:52,749
Oh no, you don't.
985
01:15:55,090 --> 01:15:57,339
- Admiral!
- You call yourself an American?
986
01:15:57,420 --> 01:16:02,049
That gets my panties in a bunch.
It's scum like you that taint our military.
987
01:16:02,140 --> 01:16:06,969
- You don't know what you're talking about.
- You risked the lives of some fine pilots.
988
01:16:08,810 --> 01:16:10,189
Well, that's my job.
989
01:16:17,070 --> 01:16:18,569
Is it safe?
990
01:16:20,530 --> 01:16:22,130
- [ STARTS DRILL ]
- [ SCREAMS IN AGONY ]
991
01:16:31,460 --> 01:16:33,709
You look good up there, son.
992
01:16:46,890 --> 01:16:48,429
[ MILITARY MARCH ]
993
01:16:51,350 --> 01:16:52,939
[ SHIP'S HORN ]
994
01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:01,699
I think I'm wearing your pants.
995
01:17:18,170 --> 01:17:20,709
- Ramada!
- Kent!
996
01:17:29,390 --> 01:17:31,729
- You're OK.
- Ramada.
997
01:17:32,560 --> 01:17:34,639
You must put me out of your mind.
998
01:17:34,730 --> 01:17:39,229
There's a certain fly-boy aboard that ship
that needs you far more than I.
999
01:17:39,650 --> 01:17:42,569
- You must forget me.
- No problem. I will.
1000
01:17:42,650 --> 01:17:44,819
Please... Not a tear.
1001
01:17:45,990 --> 01:17:49,029
Don't look back. That's my brave girl.
1002
01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:56,169
Don't worry, little one!
As long as I have me, I'll survive!
1003
01:17:58,130 --> 01:17:59,749
[ SAILOR ] Aarghhh!
1004
01:18:19,650 --> 01:18:20,859
Topper!
1005
01:18:24,110 --> 01:18:26,489
[ THE MAN I LOVE INSTRUMENTAL ]
1006
01:18:28,700 --> 01:18:31,449
- Go, Bill, go!
- [ HORSE NEIGHS ]
1007
01:18:31,950 --> 01:18:33,159
Topper!
1008
01:18:33,870 --> 01:18:34,949
Wait!
1009
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:38,959
Whoa!
1010
01:18:39,920 --> 01:18:41,129
Topper!
1011
01:19:32,470 --> 01:19:33,679
Ramada.
1012
01:19:34,390 --> 01:19:38,599
Once, perhaps.
Now I'm called Wawatukeena.
1013
01:19:39,060 --> 01:19:41,859
- What does it mean?
- Little Sizzling Belly.
1014
01:19:49,990 --> 01:19:51,319
[ DOG YAPS ]
1015
01:19:55,080 --> 01:19:57,079
[ DREAM LOVER BY DION ]
1016
01:20:02,130 --> 01:20:05,919
Every night I hope and pray.
1017
01:20:06,010 --> 01:20:09,339
A dream lover will come my way.
1018
01:20:09,470 --> 01:20:13,089
A girl to hold in my arms.
1019
01:20:13,180 --> 01:20:15,969
And know the magic of her charms.
1020
01:20:16,060 --> 01:20:18,059
- Because I want.
- Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1021
01:20:18,140 --> 01:20:19,929
A girl - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1022
01:20:20,020 --> 01:20:21,729
To call - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1023
01:20:21,810 --> 01:20:23,099
My own - Yeah-yeah
1024
01:20:23,190 --> 01:20:25,519
I want a dream lover
1025
01:20:25,610 --> 01:20:29,359
I don't have to dream alone.
1026
01:20:31,450 --> 01:20:34,739
Dream lover, where are you.
1027
01:20:34,950 --> 01:20:38,499
With a love, oh, so true?
1028
01:20:38,580 --> 01:20:42,209
And a hand that I can hold.
1029
01:20:42,290 --> 01:20:44,999
To feel you near as I grow old?
1030
01:20:45,090 --> 01:20:46,839
- Because I want.
- Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1031
01:20:46,920 --> 01:20:48,879
A girl - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1032
01:20:48,960 --> 01:20:50,719
To call - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1033
01:20:50,800 --> 01:20:52,009
My own - Yeah-yeah
1034
01:20:52,090 --> 01:20:54,509
I want a dream lover
1035
01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:58,639
I don't have to dream alone.
1036
01:21:00,520 --> 01:21:04,059
Some day, I don't know how
1037
01:21:04,150 --> 01:21:07,439
I know she'll hear my plea.
1038
01:21:07,530 --> 01:21:11,109
Some way, I don't know how.
1039
01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:14,739
She'll bring her love to me.
1040
01:21:14,820 --> 01:21:18,369
Dream lover, until then
1041
01:21:18,450 --> 01:21:21,869
I'll go to sleep, I'll dream again.
1042
01:21:21,960 --> 01:21:25,669
That's the only thing to do.
1043
01:21:25,750 --> 01:21:28,589
Till all my lover's dreams come true.
1044
01:21:28,670 --> 01:21:30,799
- Because I want.
- Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1045
01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:32,219
A girl - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1046
01:21:32,300 --> 01:21:34,259
To call - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1047
01:21:34,340 --> 01:21:35,589
My own - Yeah-yeah
1048
01:21:35,680 --> 01:21:38,049
I want a dream lover
1049
01:21:38,140 --> 01:21:41,519
I don't have to dream alone.
1050
01:21:44,060 --> 01:21:47,399
Dream lover, until then
1051
01:21:47,480 --> 01:21:50,819
I'll go to sleep, I'll dream again.
1052
01:21:50,900 --> 01:21:54,649
That's the only thing to do.
1053
01:21:54,740 --> 01:21:57,569
Till all my lover's dreams come true.
1054
01:21:57,660 --> 01:21:59,659
- Because I want.
- Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1055
01:21:59,740 --> 01:22:01,489
A girl - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1056
01:22:01,580 --> 01:22:03,289
To call - Yeah-yeah, yeah.
1057
01:22:03,370 --> 01:22:04,619
My own - Yeah-yeah
1058
01:22:04,710 --> 01:22:07,129
I want a dream lover
1059
01:22:07,210 --> 01:22:10,669
I don't have to dream alone.
1060
01:22:11,510 --> 01:22:15,259
Please don't make me dream alone.
1061
01:22:15,340 --> 01:22:19,009
Don't make me.
1062
01:22:19,720 --> 01:22:23,729
Drea-ea-ea-eam
81125
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