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ARIYA: Say, "Smile!"No, no smile.
2
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‐ So I pressed on the video.
‐ He swiped; hold on.
3
00:00:24,412 --> 00:00:26,915
‐ I'm, uh, ooh,
not using my microphone.
4
00:00:26,915 --> 00:00:27,916
Go on.
‐ Yes.
5
00:00:27,916 --> 00:00:30,919
[soft dramatic music]
6
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♪ ♪
7
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‐ I'll be heading
into my shift.
8
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‐ We're gonna do glasses
for a second
9
00:00:37,968 --> 00:00:39,302
so I can make sure
I'm not blocking the camera.
10
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‐ This is what we need
so we can stay awake
11
00:00:40,845 --> 00:00:42,305
when to go to work, right?
12
00:00:42,305 --> 00:00:43,765
Otherwise we're tired.
13
00:00:43,765 --> 00:00:46,476
‐ Gonna shut everything off
and go to bed.
14
00:00:46,476 --> 00:00:52,274
♪ ♪
15
00:00:52,274 --> 00:00:55,360
‐ A lot of people got sick.
A lot of people
are doing worse.
16
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:58,405
‐ Trying to calm the knot
in my stomach right now.
17
00:00:58,405 --> 00:01:01,241
‐ All of this is so scary
because it's not even bad yet.
18
00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:02,534
Like, it hasn't...
19
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‐ Thank you so much.
KELLEY: ...started yet.
20
00:01:04,369 --> 00:01:06,162
JESSICA: Oh, no, no,
go‐‐go‐‐go back there.
21
00:01:06,162 --> 00:01:07,956
Can't touch Mommy right now.
22
00:01:07,956 --> 00:01:09,833
It's a reallydifficult situation.
23
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I really think that
people need to see
what we're going through.
24
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♪ ♪
25
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SALEENA: Once you see whatwe're seeing and what we'reexperiencing,
26
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it's hard to notfeel anxious or upset,
27
00:01:26,182 --> 00:01:28,810
because the cost of human life
is too great.
28
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SAMEER: We'll see
how this goes.
29
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♪ ♪
30
00:01:39,946 --> 00:01:43,533
Headed into work.
I'm about to drop Ariya off
at her daycare.
31
00:01:43,533 --> 00:01:45,660
It's basically just children
of physicians right now.
32
00:01:49,122 --> 00:01:50,790
Ariya, say hi.
‐ Hi.
33
00:01:50,790 --> 00:01:52,167
‐ Um,
so we're gonna drop her off.
34
00:01:52,167 --> 00:01:53,668
We're gonna get started
for the day.
35
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REPORTER:A mysterious new coronavirus
36
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was identifiedfrom Wuhan, China.
37
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REPORTER: The virusnow in 16 other countries.
38
00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:02,886
TRUMP: We think we have itvery well under control.
39
00:02:02,886 --> 00:02:05,347
REPORTER: 50,000 peoplein Northern Italyessentially trapped.
40
00:02:05,347 --> 00:02:06,973
DR. REDFIELD:The risk at this time is low.
41
00:02:06,973 --> 00:02:09,309
The American public needs togo on with their normal lives.
42
00:02:09,309 --> 00:02:11,311
REPORTER: Officials herein New York have been testing
43
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for suspected casesof coronavirus and they'dall come back negative
44
00:02:15,607 --> 00:02:17,317
until tonight.
45
00:02:17,317 --> 00:02:20,987
‐ Mic check, mic check.
March 2, 2020.
46
00:02:20,987 --> 00:02:25,784
‐ There is no doubt that there
will be more cases.
47
00:02:25,784 --> 00:02:29,412
‐ We have two new cases
confirmed this morning
in New York City.
48
00:02:29,412 --> 00:02:31,915
REPORTER: New warningsabout the coronavirus outbreak
49
00:02:31,915 --> 00:02:34,250
as it rapidly takes hold herein the tristate.
50
00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:37,212
REPORTER: For weeks,doctors and nurseshave been sounding the alarm
51
00:02:37,212 --> 00:02:39,964
that they will be running outof personal protectiveequipment.
52
00:02:39,964 --> 00:02:42,258
REPORTER: The CDC nowadvising health care workers
53
00:02:42,258 --> 00:02:45,637
to keep working evenif exposed to the virus
54
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and suggests they reuseface masks or use scarvesas a last resort.
55
00:02:54,229 --> 00:02:56,106
♪ ♪
56
00:02:56,106 --> 00:02:58,191
KELLEY:It's Sunday, March 22nd.
57
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We're still not sure if we're
gonna have supplies to last us
to the end of the week.
58
00:03:03,988 --> 00:03:05,323
What can we do?
59
00:03:05,323 --> 00:03:07,742
People are talking
about microwaving their masks.
60
00:03:07,742 --> 00:03:11,454
I'm like, "I don't know
if that's safe. Probably not."
61
00:03:11,454 --> 00:03:15,333
I don't doubtthat there will be peoplethat will risk their lives
62
00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:19,337
because that's just what a lot
of us instinctively want to do.
63
00:03:19,337 --> 00:03:21,214
We just want to help so badly
that we end up
64
00:03:21,214 --> 00:03:25,510
going into situations where
they are dangerous to us.
65
00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:27,470
It puts usin such a difficult spot.
66
00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:29,889
It's like, I don't think
that we should be martyrs.
67
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I mean, thiscurrent situation we're in,
68
00:03:31,641 --> 00:03:36,354
if we don't push or fight
for anything,
we're just being set up to die.
69
00:03:36,354 --> 00:03:40,984
I grew up first‐generation.My parents are from Ecuador.
70
00:03:40,984 --> 00:03:45,405
My mom's a housekeeper.My dad drives school buses.
71
00:03:45,405 --> 00:03:49,242
I actually was
on the phone last night
with some of my coworkers.
72
00:03:49,242 --> 00:03:51,578
We were on the phone till,
like, two in the morning.
73
00:03:51,578 --> 00:03:54,873
We were all talking about howwe're children of immigrants
74
00:03:54,873 --> 00:03:58,334
and how a lot of thisis affecting our families.
75
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KELLEY: The rates of mortalityare very high.
76
00:04:02,213 --> 00:04:04,883
People that keep gettinginfected happento be people of color
77
00:04:04,883 --> 00:04:08,761
'cause they happento be people that cannotstay home for work
78
00:04:08,761 --> 00:04:12,682
and also, at baseline,
have a lot more medical
conditions that go untreated.
79
00:04:12,682 --> 00:04:15,393
They don't have insurance.
Like, it's what happens.
80
00:04:15,393 --> 00:04:17,770
Like, of courseour communitiesare gonna suffer the most.
81
00:04:17,770 --> 00:04:21,149
Like, what else is new?
82
00:04:21,149 --> 00:04:24,527
I need to protect my coworkers
so that they can protect
their families.
83
00:04:24,527 --> 00:04:26,654
Like, if they're not safe,
their families aren't safe.
84
00:04:31,201 --> 00:04:32,827
SAMEER:Ariya, what does that say?
85
00:04:32,827 --> 00:04:34,746
ARIYA:[fusses]
86
00:04:34,746 --> 00:04:37,582
SAMEER: It says, "Not all
superheroes wear capes."
87
00:04:37,582 --> 00:04:39,834
Thank you.
But what did you say?
88
00:04:39,834 --> 00:04:44,464
‐ I said, uh, uh...
89
00:04:47,383 --> 00:04:50,094
[whispers]
My daddy's a doctor.
90
00:04:50,094 --> 00:04:52,096
‐ Ariya, do you know what
kind of doctor Daddy is?
91
00:04:52,096 --> 00:04:54,808
‐ A lung doctor.
‐ A lung doctor. That's right.
92
00:04:54,808 --> 00:04:56,142
‐ Yeah.
And what about Mommy?
93
00:04:56,142 --> 00:04:58,228
‐ [giggles]
94
00:04:58,228 --> 00:04:59,521
‐ Cancer?
95
00:04:59,521 --> 00:05:02,774
‐ Yeah, Mommy's
a cancer doctor.
[chuckles]
96
00:05:02,774 --> 00:05:04,234
SAMEER: I do this becauseI think I can help, you know?
97
00:05:04,234 --> 00:05:06,653
I'm not an athlete.I'm not LeBron James.
98
00:05:06,653 --> 00:05:08,696
I can't entertain people
on TV.
99
00:05:08,696 --> 00:05:11,741
I'm not a politician, um...
100
00:05:11,741 --> 00:05:14,410
You know,
I'm also not a soldier, right?
101
00:05:14,410 --> 00:05:17,163
I can't help our country
by protecting our country,
102
00:05:17,163 --> 00:05:19,958
but what I can offer
is medical care.
103
00:05:19,958 --> 00:05:21,501
That's what I do.
104
00:05:21,501 --> 00:05:23,837
That's what I trained to do,
that's what I learned to do,
105
00:05:23,837 --> 00:05:25,505
and that's what I'm good at.
106
00:05:25,505 --> 00:05:28,049
Thank you.
107
00:05:28,049 --> 00:05:32,762
So this is our PACU that's been
created into a makeshift unit.
108
00:05:32,762 --> 00:05:36,850
We won't show any patients
in this, obviously, for HIPAA.
109
00:05:36,850 --> 00:05:40,103
It's 25 beds.
110
00:05:40,103 --> 00:05:44,148
A computer station
for people to work.
111
00:05:44,148 --> 00:05:46,651
And then I'll make
a tour as we go through.
112
00:05:46,651 --> 00:05:48,987
My family's what I lean on.They're what keep me grounded.
113
00:05:48,987 --> 00:05:51,406
They're what allow meto go to work each day.
114
00:05:51,406 --> 00:05:53,408
Into the house.
115
00:05:53,408 --> 00:05:55,493
Here is this one.
She's not allowed to touch me.
116
00:05:55,493 --> 00:05:56,995
‐ Hi.
SAMEER: I'll see you soon?
117
00:05:56,995 --> 00:05:58,204
‐ See you soon.
PRAGATI: Ariya, come here,
baby.
118
00:05:58,204 --> 00:06:00,331
SAMEER: Okay, love you.
‐ Bye.
119
00:06:00,331 --> 00:06:02,750
SAMEER: And then we get
decontaminated in here.
120
00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:06,296
When Pragati and I had Ariya,
121
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:08,506
the first thing we did
was we got life insurance
122
00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:10,550
for each of us
just in case one of us,
123
00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:12,260
God forbid, wasn't there.
124
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,846
Do you ever get scared thatI'll being coronavirus home?
125
00:06:14,846 --> 00:06:18,933
‐ I'm n‐‐less worried
about you getting coronavirus
specifically
126
00:06:18,933 --> 00:06:22,437
versus now I'm more worried
that we'll both get it.
127
00:06:22,437 --> 00:06:26,190
So I'm worry more so what would
happen to Ariya.
128
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:27,483
SAMEER:I've been looking into,
129
00:06:27,483 --> 00:06:29,027
you know,making a will for myself,
130
00:06:29,027 --> 00:06:33,907
which at, you know, 37,
I never really expected to do.
131
00:06:33,907 --> 00:06:35,658
Ariya, and what does Daddy do
at work?
132
00:06:35,658 --> 00:06:37,827
Does Daddy see people
with coronavirus?
133
00:06:37,827 --> 00:06:39,454
‐ Yeah.
SAMEER: Yeah?
134
00:06:39,454 --> 00:06:41,414
And does Daddy get scared?
‐ Yeah.
135
00:06:41,414 --> 00:06:42,624
SAMEER:
Yeah?
136
00:06:42,624 --> 00:06:44,459
And what Daddy do
when he's scared?
137
00:06:44,459 --> 00:06:48,212
‐ He‐‐he‐‐he‐‐he‐‐he‐‐he, um,
138
00:06:48,212 --> 00:06:49,631
he gets brave.
139
00:06:49,631 --> 00:06:51,966
SAMEER: He gets brave?
‐ Yeah.
140
00:06:51,966 --> 00:06:52,967
[train tracks clacking]
141
00:06:57,263 --> 00:07:01,225
SALEENA: Fear is nota normal feeling you feelin the emergency department.
142
00:07:01,225 --> 00:07:02,852
You walk right past fear.
143
00:07:02,852 --> 00:07:05,688
And even in the momentsthat are a little bit scary,
144
00:07:05,688 --> 00:07:07,148
we've been trained for them.
145
00:07:07,148 --> 00:07:09,984
I am an epidemiologist.
146
00:07:09,984 --> 00:07:12,695
I spent a year in Kenyadoing public health work
147
00:07:12,695 --> 00:07:16,783
and I did a project in Laos on
vaccine‐preventable diseases.
148
00:07:16,783 --> 00:07:20,495
I worked in a cholera outbreakin Haiti in the middle of a‐‐
149
00:07:20,495 --> 00:07:23,706
after a hurricanedecimated part of the country.
150
00:07:23,706 --> 00:07:25,416
We had to be evacuated out.
151
00:07:25,416 --> 00:07:29,128
It was a very stressful and
scary and dangerous situation,
152
00:07:29,128 --> 00:07:32,131
and it feels nothing like this
153
00:07:32,131 --> 00:07:33,883
because we could go home.
154
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♪ ♪
155
00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:41,057
I've been poring throughthe literature,reading as much as I can,
156
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and there's nothing out there
157
00:07:43,226 --> 00:07:48,356
for how an emergency
department physician
should handle a COVID patient.
158
00:07:48,356 --> 00:07:50,233
♪ ♪
159
00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:52,860
There's somethingabout watching peoplestruggling for air.
160
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:55,905
Like, "I don't knowwhat's gonna happen to you."
161
00:07:55,905 --> 00:08:00,618
We are facing somethingthat we have justnot been prepared for.
162
00:08:00,618 --> 00:08:04,372
And you know what?
Like, I'm a little scared.
163
00:08:04,372 --> 00:08:06,666
♪ ♪
164
00:08:06,666 --> 00:08:08,084
WORKER:What's mortality look like?
165
00:08:08,084 --> 00:08:09,669
WORKER: I have no idea.
166
00:08:09,669 --> 00:08:12,714
WORKER:
Pick it up, pick it up.
That might be x‐rays.
167
00:08:12,714 --> 00:08:18,845
‐ Running an ABG to determine
if we need to make changes
to our vent settings.
168
00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:21,264
We shall see.
169
00:08:21,264 --> 00:08:23,349
The goal for us is‐‐to keep us safe‐‐
170
00:08:23,349 --> 00:08:28,020
is to spend as little time
in the room as we can.
171
00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:32,734
So I try to maximize my timewhen I'm in there.
172
00:08:32,734 --> 00:08:36,404
These patients are sedated,often paralyzed.
173
00:08:36,404 --> 00:08:39,198
I certainly can't imagine
what that feels like.
174
00:08:39,198 --> 00:08:42,660
I try to be as calmand as comforting
175
00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:46,247
and I do try to talk to them.
176
00:08:46,247 --> 00:08:48,833
And one of the questions I
always ask of patients, like,
as soon as I meet them,
177
00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:50,043
is "Where are you from?"
178
00:08:50,043 --> 00:08:51,461
So I still do thatwith patients.
179
00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:53,046
Obviously, they don't answerme right now.
180
00:08:53,046 --> 00:08:54,672
I'm like,
"Oh, I'm from Virginia."
181
00:08:54,672 --> 00:08:56,674
Like, I kind of act likethey are answering me
182
00:08:56,674 --> 00:08:58,259
even though they're not.
183
00:08:58,259 --> 00:08:59,969
♪ ♪
184
00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:03,598
I grew up in a small town.
185
00:09:03,598 --> 00:09:09,312
The whole county had 12,000
people and about 45,000 cows,
to put it into perspective.
186
00:09:09,312 --> 00:09:12,523
♪ ♪
187
00:09:12,523 --> 00:09:16,277
My mom is a nurse and bothof my grandmothers are nurses.
188
00:09:16,277 --> 00:09:19,405
My family hasthis small nursing home,
189
00:09:19,405 --> 00:09:21,199
so I kind of, like,grew up there.
190
00:09:21,199 --> 00:09:24,494
So I've been kind of around the
dying process my whole life,
191
00:09:24,494 --> 00:09:28,498
and I think it's an honorto be there and to be invitedto be a part of that.
192
00:09:28,498 --> 00:09:34,879
♪ ♪
193
00:09:34,879 --> 00:09:36,255
JESSICA: Okay.
194
00:09:36,255 --> 00:09:39,759
He's still very sick.
He's very critical.
195
00:09:39,759 --> 00:09:42,428
We have him in the
intensive care unit right now.
196
00:09:42,428 --> 00:09:45,556
I actually started
as a volunteer.
197
00:09:45,556 --> 00:09:48,392
I was about 16 years old.
198
00:09:48,392 --> 00:09:50,353
Today, we have 11 patients.
199
00:09:50,353 --> 00:09:52,688
We just got another
new patient.
200
00:09:52,688 --> 00:09:57,318
I mentally feel like
I can't even sit down
in the break room.
201
00:09:57,318 --> 00:10:00,571
I just want to stay next
to my patients.
202
00:10:00,571 --> 00:10:03,866
In previous situations,we see progress.
203
00:10:03,866 --> 00:10:07,161
With COVID‐19 patients,
we don't see that.
204
00:10:07,161 --> 00:10:09,455
It's, like, this
up and down, up and down,
205
00:10:09,455 --> 00:10:13,918
that we don't have, like,
a clear picture
of how they're going to do.
206
00:10:13,918 --> 00:10:16,712
Hi, Jerry.
207
00:10:16,712 --> 00:10:19,257
‐ [chuckles]
208
00:10:19,257 --> 00:10:21,843
We're so happy
to see you so much better.
209
00:10:21,843 --> 00:10:23,219
‐ Yeah.
‐ From this morning?
210
00:10:23,219 --> 00:10:26,055
From 8:00 in the morning
until now?
211
00:10:26,055 --> 00:10:30,810
Your numbers were 90, 89.
Now‐‐
212
00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:33,563
‐ Go up?
‐ Everything's looking
a little better.
213
00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:34,605
‐ Right.
214
00:10:34,605 --> 00:10:37,191
‐ Your oxygenation
is now up to 94.
215
00:10:37,191 --> 00:10:39,819
You were saying
you were a little hot?
216
00:10:39,819 --> 00:10:41,195
‐ I'm gonna check
your temperature, okay?
217
00:10:41,195 --> 00:10:42,405
‐ Sure, sure.
218
00:10:42,405 --> 00:10:45,992
‐ Under your tongue.
219
00:10:45,992 --> 00:10:48,369
One of the major successesthat we consider
220
00:10:48,369 --> 00:10:51,330
is not putting in thebreathing tube to begin with,
221
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:53,583
and this is what is happening
with Jerry.
222
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:56,836
No fever. 97.1.
223
00:10:56,836 --> 00:11:00,423
‐ Preventing intubation
is really what is helping him
at this point.
224
00:11:00,423 --> 00:11:05,928
So we're so happy that
everything that we've been
doing is improving.
225
00:11:05,928 --> 00:11:10,892
‐ And we've been able to keep
that breathing tube away.
226
00:11:10,892 --> 00:11:12,059
‐ Yes.
227
00:11:12,059 --> 00:11:13,269
‐ Everything is working.
‐ That's right.
228
00:11:13,269 --> 00:11:14,645
‐ Together,
we've been a great team.
229
00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:22,987
JESSICA: I haveto think positive for them,because they need me.
230
00:11:22,987 --> 00:11:28,242
They need me to stay this wayso that they have a betteroutcome.
231
00:11:32,872 --> 00:11:34,498
DE BLASIO:Where the hellis the federal government?
232
00:11:34,498 --> 00:11:37,335
We don't have masks,we don't have ventilators.
233
00:11:37,335 --> 00:11:38,669
TRUMP:We have millions of masksbeing donated.
234
00:11:38,669 --> 00:11:40,588
We have a lot of thingshappening right now.
235
00:11:40,588 --> 00:11:44,175
DE BLASIO: The nationalsupply chain is totallyroiled at this point.
236
00:11:44,175 --> 00:11:47,136
TRUMP: We'rea country not basedon nationalizing our business.
237
00:11:47,136 --> 00:11:51,432
CUOMO: We do not yethave secured a supplyfor three weeks from now,
238
00:11:51,432 --> 00:11:53,768
four weeks from now,five weeks from now,
239
00:11:53,768 --> 00:11:56,312
but we are still shopping.
240
00:11:56,312 --> 00:12:01,108
KELLEY: Watched part ofthe governor's daily briefing.
241
00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:06,280
Yeah, we're still screwed.
Um, that's basically
what I learned today.
242
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,075
I have my mask from today.
243
00:12:09,075 --> 00:12:13,162
We've officially starteddoing the one mask a week.
244
00:12:13,162 --> 00:12:16,999
There's gonna be germs
on the outside of my mask,
245
00:12:16,999 --> 00:12:19,502
and no matter how often
I wash my hands,
246
00:12:19,502 --> 00:12:22,630
like, by virtue of taking it
off and putting it back on,
and taking it‐‐
247
00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:24,340
like, there will be
some transmission
248
00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:27,468
where that is going to get
on my face somewhere
249
00:12:27,468 --> 00:12:30,554
and it just makes it
that much more risky.
250
00:12:30,554 --> 00:12:34,225
Like, that's just the truth.
251
00:12:34,225 --> 00:12:37,228
[soft dramatic music]
252
00:12:37,228 --> 00:12:42,400
♪ ♪
253
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:46,153
We have a groupof nurses that wantedto participate in an action.
254
00:12:46,153 --> 00:12:49,532
We're not walking out.We're not going on strike.That's now what this is.
255
00:12:49,532 --> 00:12:53,953
It is just that
we all push together
for the stuff that we need.
256
00:12:53,953 --> 00:12:57,707
Found out two of our nurses
are intubated, so that sucks.
257
00:12:57,707 --> 00:12:59,834
Uh, that's why we need
to do this,
258
00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:03,337
and we just need to all get
on the same page.
259
00:13:03,337 --> 00:13:08,342
and I have to plan something
to say tomorrow to that effect.
260
00:13:08,342 --> 00:13:11,887
PERSON: Yeah, what are we gonna
say?
261
00:13:11,887 --> 00:13:14,598
‐ We need to make
a statement collectively,
262
00:13:14,598 --> 00:13:18,561
asking the powers that be
that have the stuff,
that have the supplies,
263
00:13:18,561 --> 00:13:20,146
BOTH: That have
the capabilities...
264
00:13:20,146 --> 00:13:21,814
‐ Of providing us the stuff
265
00:13:21,814 --> 00:13:25,735
and the supplies
and the resources to act quick.
266
00:13:25,735 --> 00:13:29,196
We want
to get through this whole thing
as safely as possible
267
00:13:29,196 --> 00:13:34,243
and all of us just are out here
asking the government for help.
268
00:13:34,243 --> 00:13:36,829
PERSON: That's awesome.
That's super good.
That's a great statement.
269
00:13:36,829 --> 00:13:38,331
‐ I'm gonna throw up.
[chuckles]
270
00:13:38,331 --> 00:13:40,541
♪ ♪
271
00:13:40,541 --> 00:13:42,251
[mumbling]
272
00:13:42,251 --> 00:13:48,215
‐ [purrs]
‐ Missy, you're too cute
right now.
273
00:13:48,215 --> 00:13:50,259
I am scared,
and you're just chillin'.
274
00:13:50,259 --> 00:13:53,137
I wanna be you.
275
00:13:53,137 --> 00:13:56,682
KELLEY'S HUSBAND:
You should eat something.
Or go to bed.
276
00:13:56,682 --> 00:13:58,726
‐ I'm not hungry.
277
00:13:58,726 --> 00:14:01,395
[takes deep breath]
278
00:14:01,395 --> 00:14:03,397
CUOMO:New York is in crisis.
279
00:14:03,397 --> 00:14:04,982
The system is over capacity.
280
00:14:04,982 --> 00:14:06,525
REPORTER: Hospitalsare running out of space,
281
00:14:06,525 --> 00:14:09,612
out of equipment,and even out of personnel.
282
00:14:09,612 --> 00:14:13,115
♪ ♪
283
00:14:13,115 --> 00:14:15,451
[ventilator whooshing]
284
00:14:15,451 --> 00:14:17,161
[ventilator chimes]
285
00:14:17,161 --> 00:14:20,289
‐ There are just seas of people
on breathing tubes
286
00:14:20,289 --> 00:14:23,918
in the emergency department,
like, dozens of them.
287
00:14:23,918 --> 00:14:28,714
‐ I can't imagine what these
patients are experiencing.
288
00:14:28,714 --> 00:14:32,843
The panic
that you must experience
when you cannot take a breath.
289
00:14:32,843 --> 00:14:36,722
SAMEER: Patients in all of
these beds, ventilators, ready.
290
00:14:36,722 --> 00:14:38,390
[ventilator chimes]
291
00:14:38,390 --> 00:14:40,518
SALEENA: They almost kindof look like drowning victims,
292
00:14:40,518 --> 00:14:42,520
where they need a bunchof sedation
293
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,522
and sometimes, even,they need to be paralyzed
294
00:14:44,522 --> 00:14:46,440
so they can stayon the ventilator safely.
295
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,276
COLE:It's like I'm in some sortof weird parallel universe.
296
00:14:49,276 --> 00:14:50,778
[ventilator chimes
melodically]
297
00:14:50,778 --> 00:14:52,738
‐ And then there's the sound
of vents.
298
00:14:52,738 --> 00:14:56,283
You know, they have
a very specific melody.
299
00:14:56,283 --> 00:14:58,035
[ventilator chimes]
300
00:14:58,035 --> 00:15:02,331
‐ It's, like, hissing
as it, like,
blows air into the patient.
301
00:15:02,331 --> 00:15:05,334
[ventilator hissing, whooshing]
302
00:15:05,334 --> 00:15:06,877
♪ ♪
303
00:15:06,877 --> 00:15:09,296
‐ I just need to take,
like, a couple deep breaths
304
00:15:09,296 --> 00:15:10,798
just because I felt like
305
00:15:10,798 --> 00:15:13,551
I was, like, literally
suffocating in those rooms.
306
00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:20,516
♪ ♪
307
00:15:23,227 --> 00:15:25,354
SALEENA:We were really strugglingwith a younger patient
308
00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:28,816
and at one point there were
eight doctors around his bed,
just being like, "What is"‐‐
309
00:15:28,816 --> 00:15:33,279
like, he was clearly, clearly,
very, very, sick
and, like, not getting better,
310
00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:35,447
and we were doing all sorts
of, like,
311
00:15:35,447 --> 00:15:37,575
um, techniques
to improve breathing.
312
00:15:37,575 --> 00:15:40,578
Like, we're flipping people on
their stomachs and...
313
00:15:40,578 --> 00:15:42,454
we're just‐‐
we're‐‐we're trying‐‐
314
00:15:42,454 --> 00:15:44,123
everyone's trying
everything they can do.
315
00:15:44,123 --> 00:15:46,458
♪ ♪
316
00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:49,587
There's a lot of controversyon, like, types ofmedications to use,
317
00:15:49,587 --> 00:15:53,549
and it's, like, really hard
when you have someone
who's young and dying
318
00:15:53,549 --> 00:15:56,760
and you're like,
"Well, I have this set of
papers that say 'don't do it'
319
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,679
and I have this set of papersthat say 'do do it.'"
320
00:15:58,679 --> 00:16:01,182
You don't know if whatyou're giving someone
321
00:16:01,182 --> 00:16:04,435
is going to result
in them dying or saving them.
322
00:16:04,435 --> 00:16:08,189
'Cause, like, how can we do our
best when we don't even know
what we're fighting?
323
00:16:08,189 --> 00:16:09,481
[chuckles]
324
00:16:09,481 --> 00:16:11,984
[indistinct voice]
325
00:16:11,984 --> 00:16:15,404
COLE: My patientis very critically ill.
326
00:16:15,404 --> 00:16:18,324
Um, he's almost died twice.
327
00:16:18,324 --> 00:16:20,284
We've brought him back
both times.
328
00:16:20,284 --> 00:16:22,953
But he's very sick.
He's not doing well.
329
00:16:22,953 --> 00:16:24,914
So he may pass away tonight.
330
00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:28,792
We're obviously doing literally
everything that we can for him.
331
00:16:28,792 --> 00:16:31,045
♪ ♪
332
00:16:31,045 --> 00:16:33,380
After a patient dies,it's just you.
333
00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:36,258
Everyone quicklyleaves the room.
334
00:16:36,258 --> 00:16:38,093
The lights are on.It's fully bright.
335
00:16:38,093 --> 00:16:39,845
[ventilator chimes
melodically]
336
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:41,597
But the monitor'sstill beeping,
337
00:16:41,597 --> 00:16:43,891
the ventilator'sstill going off,you're just standing there
338
00:16:43,891 --> 00:16:47,519
in all of your PPE, you know,
you're hot, you're sweating
under all of that.
339
00:16:47,519 --> 00:16:51,982
So the first thing that I do
is I, you know,
340
00:16:51,982 --> 00:16:53,484
kind of just
shut everything off
341
00:16:53,484 --> 00:16:55,653
and just try
to turn the lights down.
342
00:16:55,653 --> 00:16:58,239
I have the opportunityto make the roomcompletely silent.
343
00:16:58,239 --> 00:16:59,573
I do talk to them
like they're alive.
344
00:16:59,573 --> 00:17:00,991
I like to tell everybody,
you know,
345
00:17:00,991 --> 00:17:02,826
"Everything's gonna be
all right, everything's okay."
346
00:17:02,826 --> 00:17:05,955
I like to give everybodya bath, you know,kind of wrap them.
347
00:17:05,955 --> 00:17:08,499
And then we cover them with
a sheet, turn the lights off,
348
00:17:08,499 --> 00:17:12,294
and we just wait
for the transport service
to come get them
349
00:17:12,294 --> 00:17:14,255
and take them to the morgue.
350
00:17:14,255 --> 00:17:16,131
It has to be done.It's what we do.
351
00:17:16,131 --> 00:17:18,467
And to do the best job that we can,
352
00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:24,348
knowing that no one
is there to help us.
353
00:17:24,348 --> 00:17:26,308
ORGANIZER: Welcome, everybody.
354
00:17:26,308 --> 00:17:28,852
[horn honks]
355
00:17:28,852 --> 00:17:31,730
[indistinct chatter]
356
00:17:31,730 --> 00:17:33,607
‐ Can you guys hear me?
ALL: Yeah!
357
00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:34,984
‐ Okay!
358
00:17:34,984 --> 00:17:37,695
We're here to show the federal
government that we exist
359
00:17:37,695 --> 00:17:41,490
and yes, we are here
in protest of the fact
360
00:17:41,490 --> 00:17:45,494
that they have the capabilities
and the resources to help us
361
00:17:45,494 --> 00:17:48,247
and they sadly
have chosen not to do so.
362
00:17:48,247 --> 00:17:52,293
If we get sick,
our community gets sick.
363
00:17:52,293 --> 00:17:54,378
And I want us
to take this time right now
364
00:17:54,378 --> 00:17:57,798
to have a moment of silence
for Kious Kelly,
365
00:17:57,798 --> 00:18:01,343
the nurse that passed away
at Mount Sinai
366
00:18:01,343 --> 00:18:04,179
due to COVID earlier this week.
367
00:18:04,179 --> 00:18:06,181
[camera shutters click,
horn honks]
368
00:18:09,101 --> 00:18:12,563
‐ Nurses here
at Jacobi Medical Center
just held a press conference.
369
00:18:12,563 --> 00:18:14,648
They say the hospital isputting their lives at risk.
370
00:18:14,648 --> 00:18:16,942
‐ The masks are supposed
to be one‐time use.
371
00:18:16,942 --> 00:18:20,696
The ventilators, the PPE,
the IV pumps, we need them now,
we needed them before.
372
00:18:20,696 --> 00:18:22,239
And it's unacceptable.
373
00:18:22,239 --> 00:18:24,783
I didn't expect to talk to that
many news people. [chuckles]
374
00:18:24,783 --> 00:18:26,493
I gotta go to work.
375
00:18:26,493 --> 00:18:28,329
NURSE: I heard them saying
they're gonna dock people
or something.
376
00:18:28,329 --> 00:18:29,330
‐ Yeah, yeah.
I'm going.
377
00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:31,123
And then ever since then,
378
00:18:31,123 --> 00:18:33,000
a bunch of people wanted
to talk to me.
379
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,336
We're being
exposed over and over again,
and it is criminal.
380
00:18:35,336 --> 00:18:37,546
[speaking Spanish]
381
00:18:37,546 --> 00:18:40,007
Sunday night,
I was on "60 Minutes."
382
00:18:40,007 --> 00:18:41,383
BILL WHITAKER:
Do you have enough masks?
383
00:18:41,383 --> 00:18:43,385
‐ No.
384
00:18:43,385 --> 00:18:44,887
WHITAKER: Do you have enough
face shields?
385
00:18:44,887 --> 00:18:47,389
‐ No.
386
00:18:47,389 --> 00:18:49,892
There's times
where I'm definitely, like,
387
00:18:49,892 --> 00:18:51,560
"Should I be saying all
of this?"
388
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,520
[tense music]
389
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,649
I have worked for the largestpublic hospital systemin the country.
390
00:18:56,649 --> 00:19:00,444
I fully support
a public health care system.
391
00:19:00,444 --> 00:19:03,364
It's the reason why I'mat a safety‐net hospital.
392
00:19:03,364 --> 00:19:07,910
A lot of these health care
issues have been here forever,
for years, you know?
393
00:19:07,910 --> 00:19:09,787
ORGANIZER: What do we need?
ALL: PPE!
394
00:19:09,787 --> 00:19:12,373
KELLEY: On Monday night,I spoke to my dadfor a really long time.
395
00:19:12,373 --> 00:19:15,167
He said, "When you know
something, don't doubt it.
396
00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:17,044
Don't ever doubt doing it."
397
00:19:17,044 --> 00:19:18,545
This feels likethe right thing to do.
398
00:19:18,545 --> 00:19:20,839
Speaking out feels like
the right thing to do.
399
00:19:28,097 --> 00:19:31,433
[soft dramatic music]
400
00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:34,019
♪ ♪
401
00:19:34,019 --> 00:19:37,147
‐ It's 12:30 in the morning.
402
00:19:37,147 --> 00:19:40,067
My mom sent me a care package
a couple days ago,
403
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:44,655
so I'm super excited
to dig into that
and see what she sent.
404
00:19:47,366 --> 00:19:50,160
Some serious tape for sure.
405
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,954
Some homemade masks.
406
00:19:51,954 --> 00:19:54,998
Essential Girl Scout cookies.
407
00:19:54,998 --> 00:19:56,458
Two rolls of TP.
408
00:19:56,458 --> 00:19:59,002
So thanks for this, Mom.
This is super helpful.
409
00:19:59,002 --> 00:20:01,130
And it looks like there's
a little handwritten card.
410
00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:04,258
This has got Grandma writtenall over it and I love it.
411
00:20:04,258 --> 00:20:08,971
"Cole, I have prayedfor angels to pick upyour feet when you are weary,
412
00:20:08,971 --> 00:20:12,391
"for God to hold youin the hollow of his hand,
413
00:20:12,391 --> 00:20:16,311
"peace when you are walkingthrough the valley of death.
414
00:20:16,311 --> 00:20:20,065
"I am so very proud of you,your dedicationand compassion.
415
00:20:20,065 --> 00:20:21,942
Be safeand know you are loved."
416
00:20:21,942 --> 00:20:26,113
♪ ♪
417
00:20:26,113 --> 00:20:28,782
‐ Hi.
So again, it's Easter Sunday.
‐ Hi.
418
00:20:28,782 --> 00:20:32,077
‐ Thursday‐‐sorry, Saturday,
Sunday‐‐Sunday, right?
419
00:20:32,077 --> 00:20:33,078
Sunday?
‐ Yeah.
420
00:20:33,078 --> 00:20:35,122
‐ Sunday, April 12th.
421
00:20:35,122 --> 00:20:36,582
Ariya's riding her scooter.
422
00:20:36,582 --> 00:20:39,168
Sometimes going fast
since Mommy's at work today.
423
00:20:39,168 --> 00:20:43,839
‐ I can't know if coronavirus
is done or not.
424
00:20:43,839 --> 00:20:45,215
‐ Yeah, I don't know yet,
either.
425
00:20:45,215 --> 00:20:49,052
♪ ♪
426
00:20:49,052 --> 00:20:51,764
I started a little bit latetoday in terms of videotaping
427
00:20:51,764 --> 00:20:55,184
because I walked in the door
and it was just
an absolute madhouse.
428
00:20:55,184 --> 00:20:59,104
Dialysis machine,
as we're about
to start dialysis.
429
00:20:59,104 --> 00:21:00,856
More staff, working hard.
430
00:21:00,856 --> 00:21:03,484
There is one patient that cameto us a couple days ago‐‐
431
00:21:03,484 --> 00:21:09,114
we'll call him Mr. T‐‐um,
who is young in his mid‐50s,
432
00:21:09,114 --> 00:21:11,116
slowly been getting worse.
433
00:21:11,116 --> 00:21:12,701
SALEENA: We had a coupleof critical cases
434
00:21:12,701 --> 00:21:14,787
and, you know, the one
that stands out the most to me
435
00:21:14,787 --> 00:21:17,956
was someone who was younger
than myself come in
436
00:21:17,956 --> 00:21:21,794
and he was, you know,really, really, really sick.
437
00:21:21,794 --> 00:21:24,546
And I called
my respiratory therapist.
438
00:21:24,546 --> 00:21:26,173
And in normal circumstances,
439
00:21:26,173 --> 00:21:27,966
my respiratory therapist
will come down
440
00:21:27,966 --> 00:21:30,344
in, I don't know,
like, five minutes.
441
00:21:30,344 --> 00:21:32,346
SAMEER: Today was a bad day.
442
00:21:32,346 --> 00:21:33,430
Three people died.
443
00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:36,391
Seven new patients
came to our ICU.
444
00:21:36,391 --> 00:21:39,978
SALEENA: I waitedand I waited and I waited.
445
00:21:39,978 --> 00:21:42,022
I just wasn't sure what to do.
446
00:21:42,022 --> 00:21:45,067
SAMEER: But this is unlikeanything I've ever seenin my career.
447
00:21:45,067 --> 00:21:47,361
Just an endless onslaught
of people
448
00:21:47,361 --> 00:21:49,404
and people
that were just dying.
449
00:21:49,404 --> 00:21:56,078
‐ I just am so sick of watching
people fight for their life.
450
00:21:56,078 --> 00:21:59,081
[unsettled music]
451
00:21:59,081 --> 00:22:03,752
♪ ♪
452
00:22:03,752 --> 00:22:06,505
REPORTER: For doctorsand nurses at crowded ERs,
453
00:22:06,505 --> 00:22:08,006
no rest for the weary.
454
00:22:08,006 --> 00:22:09,842
CUOMO: It's likethe entire hospital
455
00:22:09,842 --> 00:22:12,010
has turned intoan ICU facility.
456
00:22:12,010 --> 00:22:14,096
REPORTER: The staggeringdeath toll has led
457
00:22:14,096 --> 00:22:16,431
to more burialson Hart Island.
458
00:22:16,431 --> 00:22:18,058
CUOMO: It's gottento the point, frankly,
459
00:22:18,058 --> 00:22:22,354
that we're gonna bring inadditional funeral directors.
460
00:22:22,354 --> 00:22:25,274
to deal with the numberof people who have passed.
461
00:22:25,274 --> 00:22:30,737
♪ ♪
462
00:22:30,737 --> 00:22:32,865
COLE: Normally, wheneversomeone passes away,
463
00:22:32,865 --> 00:22:35,325
you always have time to stopand debrief after it.
464
00:22:35,325 --> 00:22:37,494
Like, that's kind ofpart of the process.
465
00:22:37,494 --> 00:22:39,997
But we don't have timeto do that.
466
00:22:39,997 --> 00:22:42,541
You then have to run away
and go to your other patients.
467
00:22:42,541 --> 00:22:45,419
And I don't have timeto spend an hour
468
00:22:45,419 --> 00:22:48,547
preparing a bodylike I used to be able to do.
469
00:22:48,547 --> 00:22:50,132
It definitely makes me sad.
470
00:22:50,132 --> 00:22:52,843
It makes me feel like
I'm not caring for the person
471
00:22:52,843 --> 00:22:54,386
just because they're dead.
472
00:22:54,386 --> 00:22:58,557
Um, you know, and that's not
the kind of nurse I am.
473
00:22:58,557 --> 00:23:03,103
[tragic music]
474
00:23:03,103 --> 00:23:04,313
SAMEER: The truth is,once they get
475
00:23:04,313 --> 00:23:06,106
into the intensive care unitsetting,
476
00:23:06,106 --> 00:23:08,025
there's not much
that can be done.
477
00:23:08,025 --> 00:23:09,026
[device dings]
478
00:23:09,026 --> 00:23:10,819
WORKER: Oh, is that true?
85%?
479
00:23:10,819 --> 00:23:12,321
SAMEER: We have wins,
480
00:23:12,321 --> 00:23:15,407
but when we're looking to pick
out the wins as one patient
481
00:23:15,407 --> 00:23:18,035
among a crowd of 30,
482
00:23:18,035 --> 00:23:19,661
that's 29 losses.
483
00:23:19,661 --> 00:23:23,123
WORKER: Yay!
Someone's going home.
484
00:23:23,123 --> 00:23:24,499
BOTH: Whoo!
485
00:23:24,499 --> 00:23:27,461
SAMEER: The losses faroutnumber the victories.
486
00:23:27,461 --> 00:23:30,756
♪ ♪
487
00:23:30,756 --> 00:23:32,966
Death is everywhere.
488
00:23:32,966 --> 00:23:36,511
Um, and we do our best
to fight it.
489
00:23:36,511 --> 00:23:40,015
We do our best to stave it off.
490
00:23:40,015 --> 00:23:42,434
But we're having
a hard time right now.
491
00:23:44,227 --> 00:23:48,482
[unsettling music]
492
00:23:48,482 --> 00:23:52,110
SALEENA: I have never beenso in doubt
493
00:23:52,110 --> 00:23:54,154
of being a doctor right now
494
00:23:54,154 --> 00:23:56,239
because sometimes youfeel completely helpless.
495
00:23:56,239 --> 00:23:58,408
Like, I felt helpless
last night.
496
00:23:58,408 --> 00:24:01,078
When you feel likeyou've lost your function
497
00:24:01,078 --> 00:24:03,121
in your work,
498
00:24:03,121 --> 00:24:04,998
how could you not question
your work?
499
00:24:04,998 --> 00:24:08,710
Your function is to save lives.
500
00:24:08,710 --> 00:24:10,462
Save lives.
501
00:24:16,510 --> 00:24:19,054
SALEENA: And we're checking on
our sign.
502
00:24:19,054 --> 00:24:22,140
[chuckles] He signed it
"COVID‐19 survivor."
503
00:24:23,517 --> 00:24:26,311
ALI VELSHI: New Yorkers acrossthe city took two minutes
504
00:24:26,311 --> 00:24:28,897
to clap for health workersand first responders.
505
00:24:28,897 --> 00:24:32,234
CHRIS CUOMO: This happensin the city every night.
506
00:24:32,234 --> 00:24:35,195
A citywide clap at 7:00 p.m.eastern.
507
00:24:35,195 --> 00:24:38,198
[cheers and applause]
508
00:24:41,034 --> 00:24:44,079
[cheers and applause continues]
509
00:24:46,373 --> 00:24:48,000
NEW YORKER: What do you think?
510
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,168
NEW YORKER: I think it's great.
511
00:24:50,168 --> 00:24:52,504
[cheers and applause]
512
00:24:52,504 --> 00:24:54,006
It is really awesome.
513
00:24:54,006 --> 00:24:55,757
[laughs]
514
00:24:55,757 --> 00:24:57,217
That's nice.
515
00:24:57,217 --> 00:24:58,510
COLE: Last night,I was asleep.
516
00:24:58,510 --> 00:25:00,178
That was my alarm clock.
It was at 7:00,
517
00:25:00,178 --> 00:25:02,514
and I heard the horn honking.
518
00:25:02,514 --> 00:25:04,141
Hi, neighbor.
‐ Hey!
519
00:25:04,141 --> 00:25:05,934
COLE: Thank you.
NEIGHBOR: This is for you, man.
520
00:25:05,934 --> 00:25:08,562
COLE: We appreciate it.
Thank you very much.
521
00:25:08,562 --> 00:25:10,439
[horns honk]
522
00:25:10,439 --> 00:25:12,441
SAMEER: This is what
lines the hallway.
523
00:25:12,441 --> 00:25:14,609
Very sweet and very touching.
524
00:25:14,609 --> 00:25:19,239
CHRIS CUOMO: A citywide clapat 7:00 every night.
525
00:25:19,239 --> 00:25:23,160
I'm gonna play itfor you every damn night.
526
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,703
♪ ♪
527
00:25:24,703 --> 00:25:26,830
‐ I guess that's me.
528
00:25:29,332 --> 00:25:32,210
Do you wanna Facetime your wife
before you get some rest?
529
00:25:32,210 --> 00:25:33,545
JERRY: Mm‐hmm.
530
00:25:33,545 --> 00:25:35,964
JESSICA: Oh! Hi, Luz.
531
00:25:35,964 --> 00:25:38,878
LUZ: Hi!
JESSICA: Hi! It's‐‐
532
00:25:41,136 --> 00:25:44,514
‐ We wanted to update you
on how Jerry was doing.
533
00:25:44,514 --> 00:25:46,516
We just gave him
a little bit of morphine
534
00:25:46,516 --> 00:25:48,435
just to help
with his breathing.
535
00:25:48,435 --> 00:25:49,811
But I wanted to let you know
536
00:25:49,811 --> 00:25:51,730
that his vital signs
are stable.
537
00:25:51,730 --> 00:25:54,733
His oxygenation is 98%.
538
00:25:54,733 --> 00:25:56,818
So everything's looking good.
539
00:26:02,449 --> 00:26:04,659
‐ Aw. Don't worry.
540
00:26:04,659 --> 00:26:06,411
Get some rest now, okay?
541
00:26:06,411 --> 00:26:07,913
JERRY: Hi, sweetie.
542
00:26:07,913 --> 00:26:10,999
‐ Bye.
Bye, Luz.
543
00:26:10,999 --> 00:26:13,418
She's such a sweetheart.
JERRY: Mm‐hmm.
544
00:26:13,418 --> 00:26:15,045
Mm‐hmm.
545
00:26:15,045 --> 00:26:16,338
JESSICA: All right.
Perfect.
546
00:26:16,338 --> 00:26:17,964
All right.
Do you need anything?
547
00:26:17,964 --> 00:26:19,508
JERRY: No, I think I'm good.
‐ No?
548
00:26:19,508 --> 00:26:20,926
Okay.
JERRY: Nothing yet.
549
00:26:20,926 --> 00:26:24,930
‐ All right.
Perfect.
550
00:26:24,930 --> 00:26:27,057
‐ Good news: Mr. T,
the patient I had told you
551
00:26:27,057 --> 00:26:28,517
about previously
552
00:26:28,517 --> 00:26:29,726
was extubated today,
553
00:26:29,726 --> 00:26:31,561
meaning the breathing tube
was taken out.
554
00:26:31,561 --> 00:26:32,729
He's actually breathing
on his own.
555
00:26:32,729 --> 00:26:34,022
He's awake, he's talking,
556
00:26:34,022 --> 00:26:37,109
and seems to be pretty with it,
which is good.
557
00:26:37,109 --> 00:26:38,360
It's nice to see
some good things.
558
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:41,363
[tense music]
559
00:26:41,363 --> 00:26:48,411
♪ ♪
560
00:26:49,788 --> 00:26:52,666
‐ So unfortunately,
despite our best efforts,
561
00:26:52,666 --> 00:26:56,670
Jerry got intubated.
562
00:26:56,670 --> 00:26:58,880
This is what happenswith COVID‐19
563
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,590
and many of the complications.
564
00:27:00,590 --> 00:27:03,009
Despite our best efforts,
565
00:27:03,009 --> 00:27:06,012
our patients just deteriorate.
566
00:27:06,012 --> 00:27:12,978
♪ ♪
567
00:27:17,232 --> 00:27:18,567
SAMEER: Some bad news first.
568
00:27:18,567 --> 00:27:21,570
Mr. T, the gentleman
that we were so happy about
569
00:27:21,570 --> 00:27:23,196
that had been
extubated last week
570
00:27:23,196 --> 00:27:25,699
was reintubated again
overnight,
571
00:27:25,699 --> 00:27:27,492
meaning the breathing tube
was put back in.
572
00:27:27,492 --> 00:27:30,245
And this is probably
a very bad sign.
573
00:27:30,245 --> 00:27:32,497
I think the truth
of the fact is
574
00:27:32,497 --> 00:27:34,291
that, um, I'm tired.
575
00:27:34,291 --> 00:27:37,085
I can keep doing this,
but I'm tired.
576
00:27:37,085 --> 00:27:39,796
Like, I‐‐I'm‐‐you know,
I'm worn down.
577
00:27:39,796 --> 00:27:41,506
It's been the same thing
over and over again.
578
00:27:48,054 --> 00:27:53,810
♪ ♪
579
00:27:57,230 --> 00:27:59,107
SALEENA: [whispering]
Hi, Josie. Shh.
580
00:27:59,107 --> 00:28:00,859
Josie, no.
No, don't come near me.
581
00:28:00,859 --> 00:28:02,360
Go, go.
Inside. Inside, Josie.
582
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:03,987
No, not outside.
583
00:28:03,987 --> 00:28:08,825
I think, like, I hit‐‐like,really hit rock bottom today.
584
00:28:08,825 --> 00:28:11,912
I was so sick of wearing PPE
585
00:28:11,912 --> 00:28:14,080
that I just, like,
ripped my mask off,
586
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,373
and, like, my attending,who was with me,
587
00:28:15,373 --> 00:28:16,625
she's like,"Put your mask on."
588
00:28:16,625 --> 00:28:19,169
I'm like,
"I cannot wear this anymore."
589
00:28:19,169 --> 00:28:20,879
I was, like,completely out of my mind.
590
00:28:20,879 --> 00:28:22,797
Like, I literally took
everything off, you know?
591
00:28:22,797 --> 00:28:25,550
I just snapped.
592
00:28:25,550 --> 00:28:28,678
And then I woke up todayand I laid in bed,
593
00:28:28,678 --> 00:28:30,972
and I was like,
"Oh, my God."
594
00:28:30,972 --> 00:28:34,017
Like, "I‐‐
this does not feel right."
595
00:28:34,017 --> 00:28:38,772
I‐‐I think I'm, like...
[sighs]
596
00:28:38,772 --> 00:28:44,110
I think I'm really
not okay right now.
597
00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:47,280
[sniffles] And‐‐and I've said
it's okay to not be okay
598
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,450
because I've, like,
always known what my core is
599
00:28:50,450 --> 00:28:53,119
and I feel like I've always
been a strong person,
600
00:28:53,119 --> 00:28:59,042
and today was
the first day that...
601
00:28:59,042 --> 00:29:02,128
[sniffles]
602
00:29:02,128 --> 00:29:05,382
♪ ♪
603
00:29:05,382 --> 00:29:09,260
I just don't know that anymore.
604
00:29:09,260 --> 00:29:11,888
And I feel so guilty
for not being stronger.
605
00:29:11,888 --> 00:29:14,015
[sniffles]
606
00:29:18,603 --> 00:29:21,606
JESSICA: All right.
Let's go.
607
00:29:21,606 --> 00:29:24,526
I just got a message from one
of my friends in AID‐ICU
608
00:29:24,526 --> 00:29:28,947
who's taking care of Jerry.
609
00:29:28,947 --> 00:29:30,031
Jerry?
610
00:29:30,031 --> 00:29:32,033
FRIEND: Hi!
JESSICA: Hi!
611
00:29:32,033 --> 00:29:33,952
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my goodness!
612
00:29:33,952 --> 00:29:35,787
JERRY: Hello!
613
00:29:35,787 --> 00:29:38,832
How're you doing?
JESS: Oh, my gosh!
614
00:29:38,832 --> 00:29:41,376
Jerry just got extubated!
615
00:29:41,376 --> 00:29:44,004
FRIEND: Aww.
‐ You look so good.
616
00:29:44,004 --> 00:29:45,964
Oh, my‐‐I got you pudding.
617
00:29:45,964 --> 00:29:47,841
ALL: [laugh]
618
00:29:47,841 --> 00:29:49,718
JESSICA: You look amazing.
619
00:29:49,718 --> 00:29:52,762
This is a miracle.
This is a miracle.
620
00:29:52,762 --> 00:29:54,597
It takes time to heal.
621
00:29:54,597 --> 00:29:55,557
‐ Yeah?
622
00:30:00,311 --> 00:30:02,230
JESSICA: So far, so good.
623
00:30:02,230 --> 00:30:04,566
JESSICA: Your body has
been through so much.
624
00:30:04,566 --> 00:30:07,652
‐ [exhales forcefully]
625
00:30:07,652 --> 00:30:10,030
[exhales]
626
00:30:10,030 --> 00:30:13,324
[exhales again]
JESSICA: Perfect, Jerry.
627
00:30:32,177 --> 00:30:35,138
JESSICA: I'm gonna always
remember you.
628
00:30:35,138 --> 00:30:40,769
[cheers and applause]
629
00:30:40,769 --> 00:30:44,439
Yay, Jerry!
[laughs]
630
00:30:44,439 --> 00:30:47,233
‐ It's amazing.
JESSICA: Yes, it is.
631
00:30:47,233 --> 00:30:49,903
[cheers and applause]
632
00:30:49,903 --> 00:30:53,573
[siren wails]
633
00:30:54,657 --> 00:30:58,286
KELLEY: Most of my life nowis‐‐is this
634
00:30:58,286 --> 00:31:01,247
and the response to this.
635
00:31:01,247 --> 00:31:03,792
We're trying to figure out
how to reverse this‐‐
636
00:31:03,792 --> 00:31:06,544
or what to do to reverse
this sick‐time policy.
637
00:31:06,544 --> 00:31:08,129
We're in a tough spot now,
638
00:31:08,129 --> 00:31:11,758
from having critiqued
our system.
639
00:31:11,758 --> 00:31:14,886
I worry that if I chooseto leave this job
640
00:31:14,886 --> 00:31:16,387
and look for another one,
641
00:31:16,387 --> 00:31:19,724
I'm not sure how manyfacilities will want
642
00:31:19,724 --> 00:31:25,730
someone that has been critical
on national television.
643
00:31:25,730 --> 00:31:29,317
So...
644
00:31:29,317 --> 00:31:30,902
yeah.
645
00:31:30,902 --> 00:31:35,657
That's been...getting harderand harder to realize.
646
00:31:35,657 --> 00:31:38,701
That really sucks...
647
00:31:38,701 --> 00:31:40,787
'cause I love taking care
of patients.
648
00:31:40,787 --> 00:31:43,206
So...
649
00:31:43,206 --> 00:31:46,042
[voice shaking] Um...yeah.
650
00:31:46,042 --> 00:31:47,710
I have to get on a call.
651
00:31:47,710 --> 00:31:50,255
♪ ♪
652
00:31:50,255 --> 00:31:51,881
COLE: In the past,if I knew
653
00:31:51,881 --> 00:31:53,049
that a death was imminent,
654
00:31:53,049 --> 00:31:54,509
I would try to bewith the patient
655
00:31:54,509 --> 00:31:56,886
as much as I possibly could.
656
00:31:56,886 --> 00:32:00,056
And now that's just stoppedentirely.
657
00:32:00,056 --> 00:32:02,225
Like, they're,for the most part,
658
00:32:02,225 --> 00:32:05,061
completely alonewhen they die.
659
00:32:05,061 --> 00:32:09,190
I don't think that anyone dies
well when they die alone.
660
00:32:09,190 --> 00:32:11,943
This whole experienceis really,
661
00:32:11,943 --> 00:32:13,611
as frustrating as it can be‐‐
662
00:32:13,611 --> 00:32:17,490
and it doesn't reallynecessarily feel rewarding‐‐
663
00:32:17,490 --> 00:32:19,659
I think it makes you realizehow important it is
664
00:32:19,659 --> 00:32:21,327
that you're here
in this moment,
665
00:32:21,327 --> 00:32:22,453
that you're doing
what you're doing,
666
00:32:22,453 --> 00:32:25,081
and I feel like
if I left this job,
667
00:32:25,081 --> 00:32:27,333
then I would, like,
kind of forever regret it.
668
00:32:27,333 --> 00:32:34,048
♪ ♪
669
00:32:36,176 --> 00:32:38,261
SALEENA: Just received somereally hard news
670
00:32:38,261 --> 00:32:41,139
that my mentorcommitted suicide,
671
00:32:41,139 --> 00:32:46,269
seemingly as a result of beingsuper stressed out from COVID.
672
00:32:46,269 --> 00:32:48,980
Gravity of the lossis so magnified.
673
00:32:48,980 --> 00:32:53,735
You just wonder how many other
people feel...
674
00:32:53,735 --> 00:32:56,905
as bad as she did.
675
00:32:56,905 --> 00:32:58,364
Not knowing whenit's gonna end,
676
00:32:58,364 --> 00:32:59,908
I think,is adding another layer,
677
00:32:59,908 --> 00:33:01,034
because nowwe're sort of like,
678
00:33:01,034 --> 00:33:02,535
"Well, now what?"
679
00:33:02,535 --> 00:33:05,246
So, our numbers went down,
our admissions are going down.
680
00:33:05,246 --> 00:33:07,832
The hospital's emptying,either through people dying
681
00:33:07,832 --> 00:33:10,960
or people getting off the ventor people being discharged.
682
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,087
But then the question is,
683
00:33:13,087 --> 00:33:15,840
"Well, what does
the new normal look like?"
684
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,177
And as long as I take careof COVID patients,
685
00:33:19,177 --> 00:33:23,348
my life will never be normal.
686
00:33:23,348 --> 00:33:25,642
I think now what's happeningis we're bracing ourselves
687
00:33:25,642 --> 00:33:27,352
for the next wave,
688
00:33:27,352 --> 00:33:29,479
and I just don't know life isgonna look like, honestly.
689
00:33:32,398 --> 00:33:35,276
♪ ♪
690
00:33:35,276 --> 00:33:37,320
SAMEER: Good morning.
691
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,949
I worry a little bit more nowthan maybe a few weeks ago
692
00:33:40,949 --> 00:33:44,744
that this image of people
just dying around me
693
00:33:44,744 --> 00:33:49,540
is going to be hard
to get rid of.
694
00:33:49,540 --> 00:33:55,129
I think more and more aboutthe long‐term consequences
695
00:33:55,129 --> 00:33:56,965
of this.
696
00:33:56,965 --> 00:34:00,093
Um, I also think a lotabout my family these times‐‐
697
00:34:00,093 --> 00:34:02,929
what my wifeand my daughter will do.
698
00:34:02,929 --> 00:34:05,306
When Ariya is grown up,you know,
699
00:34:05,306 --> 00:34:07,141
my plan is to talk to her
700
00:34:07,141 --> 00:34:09,185
about everythingthat we're seeing.
701
00:34:09,185 --> 00:34:10,395
You know, we'll tell her
702
00:34:10,395 --> 00:34:12,397
about the numberof people that died
703
00:34:12,397 --> 00:34:14,649
and we'll talk about howpeople were on life support
704
00:34:14,649 --> 00:34:17,402
and how her mommy and daddywere in the hospital,
705
00:34:17,402 --> 00:34:20,488
taking care of people.
706
00:34:20,488 --> 00:34:25,034
But I hope she does not see meas a memory.
707
00:34:25,034 --> 00:34:26,619
Because if she sees me
as a memory,
708
00:34:26,619 --> 00:34:29,122
that means I didn't make it
through this.
709
00:34:29,122 --> 00:34:30,999
This is from when
Mommy and Daddy got married.
710
00:34:30,999 --> 00:34:33,584
‐ Can you hold it up higher so
we can see?
711
00:34:33,584 --> 00:34:35,837
‐ Yeah.
‐ That's better.
712
00:34:35,837 --> 00:34:37,171
SAMEER: Yeah, I wanna show you
a picture of Mommy in a mask.
713
00:34:37,171 --> 00:34:38,965
‐ [giggles, smooches]
714
00:34:38,965 --> 00:34:41,175
SAMEER: Here.
Is that Daddy and Ariya?
715
00:34:41,175 --> 00:34:42,969
ARIYA: Yeah.
SAMEER: We try and beproactive
716
00:34:42,969 --> 00:34:44,971
about printing outpicture books.
717
00:34:44,971 --> 00:34:46,556
‐ Dada, Ariya, Mama.
718
00:34:46,556 --> 00:34:48,850
SAMEER: God forbid, shouldI get sick, or, God forbid,
719
00:34:48,850 --> 00:34:50,810
should I die,
720
00:34:50,810 --> 00:34:53,104
I hope she seesthe pictures of me
721
00:34:53,104 --> 00:34:55,023
and knows that I‐‐I loved her.
722
00:34:55,023 --> 00:34:57,108
ARIYA: Daddy.
SAMEER: What are you doing
there?
723
00:34:57,108 --> 00:34:59,902
I‐‐you know,
I don't wanna die.
724
00:34:59,902 --> 00:35:02,572
Um, I don't wanna not make it
through this.
725
00:35:02,572 --> 00:35:05,575
I don't wanna not come home
to my wife and my daughter...
726
00:35:05,575 --> 00:35:08,369
um, because, although
I'm losing all my hair,
727
00:35:08,369 --> 00:35:11,748
I'm still young.
728
00:35:11,748 --> 00:35:14,500
And I think there's
a lot of life left in me.
729
00:35:14,500 --> 00:35:16,336
I think there's a lot
of things that I can do,
730
00:35:16,336 --> 00:35:20,256
but really, I wanna be
there for my family.
731
00:35:20,256 --> 00:35:21,924
I wanna be able
to provide for my family,
732
00:35:21,924 --> 00:35:25,595
to care for my family...
733
00:35:25,595 --> 00:35:27,847
and keep‐‐keep moving forward.
734
00:35:27,847 --> 00:35:30,391
So I‐‐you know,
I'm not ready to die.
735
00:35:30,391 --> 00:35:31,643
I'm not going to die.
736
00:35:31,643 --> 00:35:34,812
I...I'm not planning to die.
737
00:35:34,812 --> 00:35:38,650
Um...sorry.
738
00:35:38,650 --> 00:35:40,068
[exhales heavily]
61563
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