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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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I haven't seen anyone
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00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:21,823
outside of work and
therapy, not for weeks.
4
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:30,198
I haven't talked to my parents.
5
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:36,936
We've texted here and there.
6
00:00:36,938 --> 00:00:38,607
But that's it really.
7
00:00:41,810 --> 00:00:43,678
I'm going to hate
text messaging.
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00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:48,750
When it comes to
conversations about real life,
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00:00:53,021 --> 00:00:55,054
what the fuck is a text anyway?
10
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,924
Except a way to get
what you want and need
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00:00:57,926 --> 00:01:01,062
without having to earn
the right to a response.
12
00:01:06,868 --> 00:01:08,568
I don't know what's
going on with me.
13
00:01:08,570 --> 00:01:12,772
I don't even know myself.
14
00:01:12,774 --> 00:01:14,976
I don't know if I should care.
15
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:32,026
I haven't consistently, no.
16
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,930
Why not?
17
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,301
You don't have a reason?
18
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,871
I'm sure
there must be one.
19
00:01:44,873 --> 00:01:48,007
What's the first
thing that comes to mind?
20
00:01:48,009 --> 00:01:50,643
That it's boring.
21
00:01:50,645 --> 00:01:53,112
It's tiring.
22
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,582
It hurts my hand.
23
00:01:55,584 --> 00:01:58,217
It hurts your hand?
24
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,188
When I write for a long time,
25
00:02:01,723 --> 00:02:02,922
I don't hold my pen right.
26
00:02:02,924 --> 00:02:05,226
I hold it like a fork.
27
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,497
And there's no other
way you can do it?
28
00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:12,098
What do you mean?
29
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:15,635
Like type it all out,
save it to a folder?
30
00:02:15,637 --> 00:02:17,103
Yeah, why not?
31
00:02:17,105 --> 00:02:18,370
Whatever.
32
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,339
It still
just seems boring.
33
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,574
It is boring.
34
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:22,909
I can't keep it up for
more than a few days
35
00:02:22,911 --> 00:02:25,980
at a time.
36
00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:33,855
So you're bored with efforts
to communicate with yourself?
37
00:02:40,662 --> 00:02:43,297
Are other people
usually bored by you?
38
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,135
When you talk with them?
39
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,439
No, not usually.
40
00:02:55,944 --> 00:02:59,612
Maybe you could think
about some more interesting ways
41
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:03,918
to keep this record of your
feelings from day to day.
42
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:59,171
It is important for me to
journal right now, I know that.
43
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:01,073
I accept it.
44
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,778
It is essential that
I learn to reflect.
45
00:04:06,948 --> 00:04:09,684
So this is me, reflecting
46
00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:13,722
In a way that's more
appropriate to the current age.
47
00:04:16,224 --> 00:04:20,059
But is it better?
48
00:04:20,061 --> 00:04:22,394
Writing by hand is
archaic, I know this
49
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:25,264
to be a true feeling,
I have vetted it.
50
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,500
I am doing this
not as a means of
51
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,904
finding an excuse not
to journal, but as
52
00:04:31,906 --> 00:04:35,844
part of an experiment,
an adaptation.
53
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,016
Feels different.
54
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,485
I don't know if it's different
in necessarily a good way,
55
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,090
but I don't not know either.
56
00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:10,109
Not sad tonight.
57
00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:12,747
So that's a plus.
58
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:15,750
Except
59
00:05:16,885 --> 00:05:18,217
because I'm not sad I don't know
60
00:05:18,219 --> 00:05:20,452
what else I'm feeling either.
61
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:23,923
That doesn't mean I'm
happy, just because
62
00:05:23,925 --> 00:05:25,927
I said I'm not sad.
63
00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:34,200
Maybe this is an excuse to
not write my feelings out.
64
00:05:34,202 --> 00:05:37,271
Maybe I'm just indulging my own
personal form of television.
65
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:41,307
Maybe I'm just years late
66
00:05:41,309 --> 00:05:43,542
to the YouTube impulse,
only I'm not even
67
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,214
doing it right,
because it's just me.
68
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:48,817
Not watching.
69
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,785
Maybe I'm on to something here.
70
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:56,288
Maybe this is the
next best thing
71
00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:58,259
in media entertainment.
72
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:02,494
Soon, we'll all be staring
into our own cameras
73
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:05,033
talking to ourselves
alone in our homes.
74
00:06:08,970 --> 00:06:11,039
It's like the worst
mirror in the world.
75
00:06:11,973 --> 00:06:13,474
One that remembers.
76
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:21,249
I don't know, mirror,
nothing happened today.
77
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,718
Nothing worth talking about.
78
00:06:25,954 --> 00:06:29,255
I clicked around the
internet all day,
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00:06:29,257 --> 00:06:32,458
did maybe an hour's
worth of work,
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00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,593
got praised for it.
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00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,299
This little entry
is hardly worth
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00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:42,003
the cost of data storage.
83
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,707
You hear that, mirror?
84
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,642
You're a waste today.
85
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,313
You're worthless.
86
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,087
It's already getting
significantly colder out,
87
00:07:01,089 --> 00:07:03,791
but I wanted to be out here.
88
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:09,797
I feel better out here.
89
00:07:11,232 --> 00:07:13,868
The city seems quiet.
90
00:07:15,003 --> 00:07:16,969
Almost peaceful
when you look at it
91
00:07:16,971 --> 00:07:18,973
from just a few floors up.
92
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:24,845
It's neither, though, obviously.
93
00:07:29,217 --> 00:07:31,483
It's weird
94
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,319
that we don't talk
about it anymore,
95
00:07:33,321 --> 00:07:37,658
all the noise and the
conflict and the pain.
96
00:07:41,996 --> 00:07:43,564
I guess we're used to it.
97
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,837
There's some joy too, I suppose.
98
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:54,108
But that might be harder to see.
99
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:59,347
Maybe I'm just not
looking closely enough.
100
00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:15,327
I'm angry.
101
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:19,331
I'm angry that I can't
just go away somewhere
102
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,635
and fix all of my problems
103
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:26,572
I'm angry that a lot of
them aren't even my fault.
104
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,807
I know I'm underdeveloped
emotionally,
105
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,542
but what about the
world that chewed me up
106
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:34,080
and spit me out into
this moment, huh?
107
00:08:34,082 --> 00:08:35,914
I mean, how fucked up
is it that I resorted
108
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:39,085
to talking to
myself into a camera
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00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:43,624
in order to stay grounded
between therapy sessions?
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00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,392
How fucked up is it
that I still think
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00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:48,196
this is good idea?
112
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,438
I know what this is.
113
00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:03,375
This is the only way
for me to be able to
114
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:06,981
delineate between what is
real and what I am imagining.
115
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,120
So it's a crutch.
116
00:09:14,222 --> 00:09:15,423
So what?
117
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,893
This is better than
doing it to a person.
118
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:28,767
An unconscious, unfeeling
machine is not capable
119
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:32,140
of being hurt by my bullshit,
120
00:09:35,443 --> 00:09:37,678
and it doesn't judge.
121
00:09:41,382 --> 00:09:42,416
Yeah.
122
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,354
A mirror that remembers
but does not judge.
123
00:09:53,261 --> 00:09:55,263
Maybe there's some
value in that.
124
00:09:58,566 --> 00:10:00,032
I don't know what's
going on with me.
125
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:04,570
I don't even know myself.
126
00:10:04,572 --> 00:10:06,640
I don't know if I should care.
127
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,949
Cass keeps trying
to get in touch.
128
00:10:19,253 --> 00:10:20,888
She's not giving up.
129
00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:27,493
But what the fuck am
I supposed to say?
130
00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:29,261
I'm sorry I've been
out of touch but I've
131
00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:31,663
pulled myself apart and
I don't know what to
132
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,734
make of what's left.
133
00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:39,971
What's the difference anyway?
134
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,642
I have to go through this alone.
135
00:10:51,552 --> 00:10:53,121
It's not completely true.
136
00:10:58,526 --> 00:11:02,594
I'm going to talk
to Cass, I'm going,
137
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:04,265
I'm going to end it.
138
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,803
I stopped communicating
with people.
139
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:18,179
I'm afraid of what
they'll think of me
140
00:11:19,313 --> 00:11:21,182
as I actually am.
141
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:30,724
I wanted to record a quick entry
142
00:11:32,293 --> 00:11:34,061
before I fell asleep.
143
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,268
Cass let me borrow
Zelda for the weekend.
144
00:11:44,605 --> 00:11:46,006
I called her.
145
00:11:48,242 --> 00:11:49,608
That's why I'm so tired.
146
00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:52,278
We spent the whole
day out at the park
147
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,382
and we talked for hours.
148
00:11:57,718 --> 00:11:59,920
I told her what's
been going on with me.
149
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,824
She's known that
I've been in therapy
150
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,326
and she's known for
longer than that
151
00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:08,929
that I'm
152
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:15,303
that I've struggled.
153
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,374
That I'm a little damaged.
154
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:24,912
But she didn't know...
155
00:12:34,722 --> 00:12:36,757
It's good that I reached out.
156
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,057
I'm never alone,
157
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,095
even if I feel
that way sometimes.
158
00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:47,098
I know that on a
reasonable level,
159
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:51,138
but emotionally I forget.
160
00:12:57,278 --> 00:13:00,279
* By the one thing you love
161
00:13:00,281 --> 00:13:04,182
* Pull with the threads
162
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,620
* Say I'm not letting go
163
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:11,392
* But what is the world
164
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,564
* That we cling to it's old
165
00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:21,569
* Did we fall up or down?
166
00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:27,608
* Once we were sure
167
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:31,044
* But not anymore
168
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,083
* You know what to do
169
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:41,021
* Oh it's coming around
170
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,926
* Still you are invest
171
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,231
* 'Cause you want
what comes next
172
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:57,538
* So you
173
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,673
Thanks y'all, my
name's Mike O'Malley,
174
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:05,210
I'll be your entertainment
for at least the next hour.
175
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,480
I promise it'll be
relatively painless.
176
00:14:12,653 --> 00:14:13,719
It's Friday.
177
00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:14,720
I want wine.
178
00:14:14,722 --> 00:14:15,754
It's a wine kind
of night for me.
179
00:14:15,756 --> 00:14:17,389
Okay, okay, I think wine
180
00:14:17,391 --> 00:14:20,227
is for other weeknights.
181
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:24,496
What's the best
shot and beer combo
182
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:26,099
I can get for 10 bucks?
183
00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,503
They're on the board.
184
00:14:31,639 --> 00:14:34,039
* I was halfway out the woods
185
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,207
* And things were looking good
186
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,109
* A herd of goats and babies
187
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,045
* And a fence made out of wood
188
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,782
* And horticulture's
not my thing
189
00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:47,154
* But mercy me you
had a pretty garden *
190
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:55,861
Hey.
191
00:14:55,863 --> 00:14:56,695
Hi.
192
00:14:56,697 --> 00:14:57,496
You're...
193
00:14:57,498 --> 00:14:59,230
Margaret.
194
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,332
Writer, right?
195
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:01,367
Yeah.
196
00:15:01,369 --> 00:15:02,267
Sometimes.
197
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,572
Yeah, Brett.
198
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,305
I remember.
199
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,674
Yep.
200
00:15:08,676 --> 00:15:11,643
My wife is grabbing
a table in the back
201
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:12,911
if you wanna join.
202
00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:15,046
It's gonna get pretty
slammed in here later.
203
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,048
I'm meeting a friend.
204
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,450
Gotcha.
205
00:15:18,452 --> 00:15:21,420
Well, we're not on
a date or anything,
206
00:15:21,422 --> 00:15:23,724
so we're meeting friends
too if you change your mind.
207
00:15:24,725 --> 00:15:25,657
Okay.
208
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:28,396
You should totally hang.
209
00:15:31,399 --> 00:15:32,564
Hi.
210
00:15:32,566 --> 00:15:34,766
Hey, who are you?
211
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,001
This is Brett.
212
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,202
Hi.
213
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,437
Hi.
214
00:15:38,439 --> 00:15:39,971
I was just inviting
Margaret to come join
215
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,307
me and my wife in the back.
216
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,275
A few other friends are coming.
217
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,244
Cool.
218
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,613
Let's do it.
219
00:15:47,615 --> 00:15:48,647
Okay?
220
00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:49,581
Sure.
221
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,082
Cool.
222
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,984
I'm gonna go put my shit down.
223
00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:55,521
Sure.
224
00:16:01,629 --> 00:16:04,430
It's the first coat he
ever bought for himself
225
00:16:04,432 --> 00:16:05,330
as an adult.
226
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,565
No it's not.
227
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:08,299
I bought the last
one you replaced
228
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,768
with your mother,
229
00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:12,037
who probably bought all the
others ones before that.
230
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,105
I picked some out.
231
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:15,807
I have bought a coat.
232
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:16,975
I don't believe you,
233
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,510
but it sounds like
you're just a Ken doll.
234
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:20,712
I picked the red one,
the one we just donated.
235
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,180
The ugly ski jacket.
236
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:25,116
It's not ugly, and plus
it was only 15 bucks.
237
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,151
One more.
238
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,586
Oh no.
239
00:16:27,588 --> 00:16:29,821
Someone paid you 15
bucks to take it from them?
240
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:30,789
One more, Margaret.
241
00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:32,290
No.
242
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,759
He'll keep up this refrain
all night if you let him.
243
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:35,994
Yeah, it's Friday!
244
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:36,862
Friday.
245
00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:38,697
It's Friday!
246
00:16:38,699 --> 00:16:39,931
It's Friday.
247
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,166
Cheers.
248
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:44,770
Yeah I don't
have anything, guys.
249
00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:46,104
Yay.
250
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,238
Two more, two more.
251
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,406
Two more!
252
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:49,677
Okay!
253
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,711
Come on girls, Taco Time.
254
00:16:52,713 --> 00:16:53,745
Taco Time.
255
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:56,114
Oh ho, so Taco Time!
256
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:12,063
How am I supposed to
know what you look like?
257
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,466
Oh, of course.
258
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,367
Of course you do them.
259
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,472
Okay, fine.
260
00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:38,524
Hi, good morning.
261
00:17:38,526 --> 00:17:40,928
Can I help you
find a table or...
262
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,836
Did you eat?
263
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,071
Did I eat?
264
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,142
Yeah, I waited just
in case you hadn't.
265
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,678
I didn't want to be rude.
266
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,079
Is this table
okay for you both?
267
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,948
Um, yeah.
268
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,382
Sorry.
269
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,786
Nothing to be sorry about,
would you like a menu?
270
00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:09,487
I know what I want,
she can use mine.
271
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,489
Okay, great, so
I'll be back in a bit.
272
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:14,726
Would you like a beverage,
something to start with?
273
00:18:14,728 --> 00:18:17,428
Coffee's really good.
274
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,030
Yeah, it totally is.
275
00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:20,934
Yeah, I know.
276
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,471
I'll have a coffee and
some water, please.
277
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,307
Great.
278
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,476
Why do you want
to eat with me?
279
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,680
I don't know.
280
00:18:34,682 --> 00:18:36,481
Can I have my bag please?
281
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,652
Yeah, of course.
282
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,997
I don't mind if
you wanna check it.
283
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,933
I only really care
about the computer
284
00:18:54,935 --> 00:18:57,836
which I know must be in
there, and the files on it.
285
00:18:57,838 --> 00:19:00,741
The ones that you decided
it was okay to watch.
286
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,245
Well if I hadn't, it
might not have become
287
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,282
so important to me to
get it back to you.
288
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:18,692
Here we go, a coffee,
and water for everyone.
289
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:26,464
Do you need another minute?
290
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,067
Yeah, I think so.
291
00:19:29,069 --> 00:19:30,838
No problem at all.
292
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,620
If it makes you
feel more comfortable,
293
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,924
I feel the same way you do.
294
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,162
About a lot of stuff.
295
00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:03,003
Like the stuff you said,
really resonated with me.
296
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,279
I'm sorry I watched your videos.
297
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,557
It's okay.
298
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:34,866
Guess it could have gone worse.
299
00:20:34,868 --> 00:20:36,269
Yeah.
300
00:20:38,205 --> 00:20:39,973
Some asshole could
have found them.
301
00:20:51,852 --> 00:20:55,622
When you talk about therapy,
and stuff like that,
302
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,592
is that a...
303
00:21:03,163 --> 00:21:05,398
Where do you go to find
out about stuff like that?
304
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:10,170
I went through my insurance.
305
00:21:11,972 --> 00:21:13,373
Of course.
306
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,776
Not all therapists
take insurance.
307
00:21:17,778 --> 00:21:19,612
Many don't actually.
308
00:21:21,048 --> 00:21:23,014
They get tired of insurance
companies trying to tell them
309
00:21:23,016 --> 00:21:25,953
how to do their job and
how much people are worth.
310
00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:31,925
The point is that you don't
have to have insurance.
311
00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:37,195
Some people just pay?
312
00:21:37,197 --> 00:21:38,797
I guess so.
313
00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:40,766
I don't know.
314
00:21:40,768 --> 00:21:43,735
I probably wouldn't
be able to afford it.
315
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:46,071
Not twice a week, at least.
316
00:21:46,073 --> 00:21:47,775
I have to.
317
00:21:52,846 --> 00:21:56,850
Is it something you
would be interested in?
318
00:22:00,954 --> 00:22:03,190
I don't know, maybe.
319
00:22:04,858 --> 00:22:07,225
I thought about it
before, but I don't know
320
00:22:07,227 --> 00:22:09,830
where I'd find the time
or the money to do it.
321
00:22:12,099 --> 00:22:14,199
I've got student
insurance though,
322
00:22:14,201 --> 00:22:16,336
it's not too great
outside of school.
323
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,570
You could probably talk
to someone there, too,
324
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:22,009
if you wanted.
325
00:22:30,317 --> 00:22:32,152
What you do is
great too, though.
326
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,020
I recorded my own
video blog after
327
00:22:35,022 --> 00:22:36,689
watching yours yesterday.
328
00:22:48,068 --> 00:22:49,634
I'm sorry.
329
00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:51,502
I know they're supposed to
be all private and stuff,
330
00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:53,138
and I shouldn't have
kept watching them
331
00:22:53,140 --> 00:22:54,973
but I couldn't help it.
332
00:22:54,975 --> 00:22:56,908
I go through the same
shit too, you know that.
333
00:22:56,910 --> 00:22:58,846
The same shit, for reals.
334
00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,867
Um, thank you, V.
335
00:23:21,869 --> 00:23:24,102
Sure, it's no problem.
336
00:23:24,104 --> 00:23:26,437
It's a little strange
how it happened,
337
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:29,709
but it was nice to meet you.
338
00:23:30,911 --> 00:23:32,643
It's nice to meet you, too.
339
00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:34,479
And thank you.
340
00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:36,681
For what?
341
00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:39,019
You know, for talking
to me and eating with me,
342
00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:43,323
and for not being mad that
I watched all your videos.
343
00:23:46,326 --> 00:23:48,860
Unless you are mad.
344
00:23:48,862 --> 00:23:52,697
I'm just a little
uncomfortable.
345
00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:55,002
Right, I understand that.
346
00:23:57,637 --> 00:24:00,838
I can show you mine.
347
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,809
If it would help, make it fair.
348
00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:07,380
You would feel
comfortable doing that?
349
00:24:17,224 --> 00:24:19,190
Oh my God!
350
00:24:19,192 --> 00:24:20,992
Come
inside, come inside.
351
00:24:20,994 --> 00:24:22,996
Oh my God!
352
00:24:26,699 --> 00:24:28,599
So cute!
353
00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:29,700
What's her name?
354
00:24:29,702 --> 00:24:32,037
Zelda
355
00:24:32,039 --> 00:24:34,539
My friend loaned her to
me for a couple of days.
356
00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:35,673
Good friend?
357
00:24:35,675 --> 00:24:37,442
Uh-huh.
358
00:24:41,381 --> 00:24:43,050
I actually have to walk her.
359
00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:50,390
They're beautiful.
360
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:55,026
My mom used to hoist
me onto their lawn
361
00:24:55,028 --> 00:24:56,861
to take pictures or something.
362
00:24:56,863 --> 00:24:59,599
Like after my penance.
363
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,134
You're Catholic?
364
00:25:03,136 --> 00:25:05,236
Technically, I guess.
365
00:25:05,238 --> 00:25:07,740
You?
366
00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:12,445
Same, technically.
367
00:25:16,984 --> 00:25:19,317
You're not all white, are you?
368
00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:24,091
Uh, how'd you know?
369
00:25:25,892 --> 00:25:27,525
You're a little
more exotic-looking
370
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:31,064
than the white-white girls
that hang around here.
371
00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:34,699
You're really pretty though
372
00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:36,236
Thank you.
373
00:25:38,238 --> 00:25:40,773
So are you.
374
00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:44,742
If you don't mind my saying.
375
00:25:44,744 --> 00:25:45,943
You just didn't have to
say it because I said it.
376
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:48,415
Oh I wasn't...
377
00:25:51,151 --> 00:25:53,320
I just don't try
to be pretty-pretty.
378
00:25:55,855 --> 00:25:58,456
You're being kind
of hard on yourself
379
00:25:58,458 --> 00:26:00,260
if you don't my saying.
380
00:26:01,828 --> 00:26:03,163
Maybe.
381
00:26:18,411 --> 00:26:22,713
I could help you, if you
want, to find a therapist.
382
00:26:22,715 --> 00:26:24,884
If that's what you want.
383
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:28,953
You don't have to do that.
384
00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:31,089
I know.
385
00:26:31,091 --> 00:26:33,493
But still, I you want, I could.
386
00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:37,695
I'll think about
it, if that's okay.
387
00:26:37,697 --> 00:26:39,166
Okay, okay.
388
00:26:44,837 --> 00:26:46,271
Oh.
389
00:26:46,273 --> 00:26:47,905
I wish dogs didn't poop.
390
00:26:47,907 --> 00:26:50,241
I wish that people
would accept that they did
391
00:26:50,243 --> 00:26:52,412
enough to pick up after them.
392
00:26:53,346 --> 00:26:55,048
Fair point, fair point.
393
00:26:57,350 --> 00:26:58,883
Did you hear about
that mayor in Spain
394
00:26:58,885 --> 00:27:00,785
that hired all those
people to follow around
395
00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,620
the shittier people that
leave their dog poop
396
00:27:02,622 --> 00:27:04,322
and put it on their doorstep?
397
00:27:04,324 --> 00:27:05,656
What?
398
00:27:05,658 --> 00:27:08,159
That's amazing.
399
00:27:08,161 --> 00:27:10,928
Yeah, he got all
these young people
400
00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:13,698
to look out for it,
and they walk around
401
00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:16,867
and they just like follow
people when their dogs poop,
402
00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:20,538
pick it up, box it up, and
put it on their doorstep.
403
00:27:20,540 --> 00:27:23,040
Nice.
404
00:27:23,042 --> 00:27:24,675
I like it.
405
00:27:24,677 --> 00:27:27,414
Serving some justice and
giving young people jobs.
406
00:27:30,450 --> 00:27:33,584
Yeah, I guess.
407
00:27:33,586 --> 00:27:35,986
I guess I could be into that.
408
00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:39,257
You know, pick up a little
shit, make a little money.
409
00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,758
Coffee's really good.
410
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,363
Oh, good, thanks.
411
00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:21,232
The coffee at that
cafe's really good too.
412
00:28:21,234 --> 00:28:22,833
I'd never been there before.
413
00:28:22,835 --> 00:28:25,670
Oh, their coffee's
better than this.
414
00:28:25,672 --> 00:28:27,638
Maybe, but not by much.
415
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,107
It's better than
what my mother makes.
416
00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:32,445
There's a coffee
spectrum, I guess.
417
00:28:42,522 --> 00:28:44,589
You live at home?
418
00:28:44,591 --> 00:28:46,593
Yeah.
419
00:28:48,528 --> 00:28:50,127
You grew up here?
420
00:28:50,129 --> 00:28:51,462
Yeah.
421
00:28:51,464 --> 00:28:52,863
You wanna watch the video?
422
00:28:52,865 --> 00:28:56,367
Oh, um if you want
to show it to me still,
423
00:28:56,369 --> 00:28:58,004
that's okay.
424
00:29:23,162 --> 00:29:25,031
Wanted to try this.
425
00:29:31,137 --> 00:29:33,338
When I watched Marge's
videos, they just seemed
426
00:29:33,340 --> 00:29:36,209
so real, you know?
427
00:29:38,311 --> 00:29:40,413
I don't know about this for me.
428
00:29:45,852 --> 00:29:48,286
I know I shouldn't have even
watched the first video,
429
00:29:48,288 --> 00:29:50,721
but it was right there.
430
00:29:50,723 --> 00:29:52,359
So personal.
431
00:29:59,031 --> 00:30:01,466
Told myself if I watched
it it would help me
432
00:30:01,468 --> 00:30:03,703
find out who it belonged to,
433
00:30:06,873 --> 00:30:08,138
and that was a lie.
434
00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:10,275
I didn't even know if I
was gonna give it back,
435
00:30:10,277 --> 00:30:11,978
'til I watched all of them.
436
00:30:17,684 --> 00:30:19,519
I did, I watched all of 'em.
437
00:30:25,325 --> 00:30:29,629
I feel bad, but I
don't, you know?
438
00:30:30,863 --> 00:30:32,164
I feel guilty.
439
00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:37,935
But it affected me, you know?
440
00:30:37,937 --> 00:30:39,906
It helped me.
441
00:30:49,516 --> 00:30:50,748
I'm gonna apologize
to her when I
442
00:30:50,750 --> 00:30:52,619
give her computer back.
443
00:30:58,558 --> 00:31:00,827
Maybe I'll tell her
about this, you know?
444
00:31:02,094 --> 00:31:03,661
Maybe she doesn't hate
me after she finds out
445
00:31:03,663 --> 00:31:05,398
I spied on her.
446
00:31:15,174 --> 00:31:18,543
I don't know about this, I
usually write when I'm upset.
447
00:31:18,545 --> 00:31:20,947
That's how I became a
writer in the first place.
448
00:31:21,981 --> 00:31:25,182
I like having that difference,
449
00:31:25,184 --> 00:31:28,721
like I don't like to
write without a reason.
450
00:31:30,690 --> 00:31:34,892
Like, I like writing about
a character that's me
451
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:36,896
but isn't me.
452
00:31:45,605 --> 00:31:47,273
This is me though.
453
00:31:52,345 --> 00:31:54,180
Can't fight that fact.
454
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,226
What am I supposed to do now?
455
00:32:09,228 --> 00:32:11,163
Talk about my feelings?
456
00:32:19,972 --> 00:32:21,608
How do I feel?
457
00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:27,647
Just fuckin' angry, you know?
458
00:32:28,848 --> 00:32:30,314
That's how I always
feel when I'm here.
459
00:32:30,316 --> 00:32:32,151
Just...
460
00:32:34,754 --> 00:32:36,587
I feel hopeless, I
feel like none of this
461
00:32:36,589 --> 00:32:38,856
even matters, it's
never gonna matter
462
00:32:38,858 --> 00:32:40,491
as long as I'm
still here with her,
463
00:32:40,493 --> 00:32:41,892
and I have to be with
her, at least until
464
00:32:41,894 --> 00:32:43,796
I'm finished with school.
465
00:32:46,633 --> 00:32:48,566
You know, fuck her
though, because I'm not
466
00:32:48,568 --> 00:32:52,238
going to give up, I'm just...
467
00:32:54,507 --> 00:32:57,341
If I'm going to give up my
dreams and my writing just to
468
00:32:57,343 --> 00:33:00,310
get a job and drop out
of school and move out
469
00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,312
before it's time for me to.
470
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:04,584
What, just 'cause
she wants me to?
471
00:33:09,088 --> 00:33:11,991
I know how that'll
wind up for me.
472
00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:17,962
I get swallowed up,
I get swallowed up
473
00:33:17,964 --> 00:33:18,863
and I wouldn't make it.
474
00:33:18,865 --> 00:33:21,768
Not on my terms.
475
00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:31,377
I'm not stupid, I'm very smart.
476
00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:34,979
I'm smarter than
her, or at least
477
00:33:34,981 --> 00:33:36,881
I'm more honest than she is.
478
00:33:36,883 --> 00:33:38,248
I have that.
479
00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:40,052
I have that in me.
480
00:34:14,020 --> 00:34:16,120
Another?
481
00:34:16,122 --> 00:34:18,157
Yes please.
482
00:34:32,939 --> 00:34:35,806
How's your girlfriend, Ian?
483
00:34:35,808 --> 00:34:37,307
She's okay.รบ
484
00:34:37,309 --> 00:34:39,710
Run out of time for work,
485
00:34:39,712 --> 00:34:42,348
haven't really seen her lately.
486
00:35:21,621 --> 00:35:24,456
I hope I'm not
weirding her out.
487
00:35:25,958 --> 00:35:27,927
She didn't seem to mind
or anything, just...
488
00:35:31,297 --> 00:35:33,463
It's nice to know that
she's out there, you know?
489
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:35,966
Somebody like her
that doesn't judge me
490
00:35:35,968 --> 00:35:37,737
when I'm being me.
491
00:35:42,408 --> 00:35:44,909
Kind of would like to
hang out some more.
492
00:35:44,911 --> 00:35:47,980
Can I just ask her that?
493
00:35:56,656 --> 00:35:59,624
Who am I even
talking to right now?
494
00:35:59,626 --> 00:36:02,795
It's me, yeah it's me, but
495
00:36:07,033 --> 00:36:08,565
I'm not really there,
you're not real,
496
00:36:08,567 --> 00:36:12,071
you're not the ghost of me.
497
00:36:13,172 --> 00:36:15,507
You're not there, you just...
498
00:36:21,413 --> 00:36:25,017
On second thought, maybe
that is the definition of me.
499
00:36:26,886 --> 00:36:28,988
She's there but she's not.
500
00:37:07,426 --> 00:37:09,059
Margaret!
501
00:37:09,061 --> 00:37:10,527
I'm recording this
video for you since
502
00:37:10,529 --> 00:37:13,263
that is what the cool
kids are doing these days.
503
00:37:13,265 --> 00:37:17,101
But for real, this is
an important message
504
00:37:17,103 --> 00:37:19,804
I have a mission for you.
505
00:37:19,806 --> 00:37:21,605
Zing pow!
506
00:37:21,607 --> 00:37:24,909
This bottle of wine is full
and look, there's more!
507
00:37:24,911 --> 00:37:28,047
Mags and Cass forever.
508
00:37:30,717 --> 00:37:32,049
Yes.
509
00:37:32,051 --> 00:37:34,118
I spent an impractical
amount of time on this,
510
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,421
but I think that
illustrates my commitment.
511
00:37:37,423 --> 00:37:39,189
How is that for visual aid, huh?
512
00:37:39,191 --> 00:37:42,092
A visual aid you can drink.
513
00:37:42,094 --> 00:37:45,896
Once you let me into
your apartment, tonight.
514
00:37:45,898 --> 00:37:47,664
I don't expect
anything from you.
515
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:50,735
We both know that our love
runs deeper than that.
516
00:37:50,737 --> 00:37:52,336
That it's pure.
517
00:37:52,338 --> 00:37:55,405
Pure even than the
age-old tradition
518
00:37:55,407 --> 00:37:57,808
of imbibing on the
grape in times of
519
00:37:57,810 --> 00:38:00,379
great personal upheaval.
520
00:38:02,348 --> 00:38:05,482
Are you still upheaved, my love?
521
00:38:05,484 --> 00:38:06,984
This is the question
I must have answered
522
00:38:06,986 --> 00:38:09,153
if I am to sleep on this night.
523
00:38:09,155 --> 00:38:12,923
This is my quest on
this noble Saturday.
524
00:38:12,925 --> 00:38:15,559
Don't deny me my quest
525
00:38:15,561 --> 00:38:17,962
I'll die of broken heart.
526
00:38:20,266 --> 00:38:23,267
Well maybe not, but I
still wanna come over.
527
00:38:23,269 --> 00:38:28,040
* It's a need I can't explain
528
00:38:30,509 --> 00:38:32,011
Text me, woman.
529
00:38:35,447 --> 00:38:37,782
There's a voice in your head.
530
00:38:37,784 --> 00:38:39,083
You've been hearing a
new voice in your head,
531
00:38:39,085 --> 00:38:40,617
but you want it though.
532
00:38:40,619 --> 00:38:41,752
I told you, it's not...
533
00:38:41,754 --> 00:38:43,988
Oh, I'm sorry.
534
00:38:43,990 --> 00:38:46,190
I was joking.
535
00:38:46,192 --> 00:38:47,858
I just don't think that it's...
536
00:38:47,860 --> 00:38:49,059
Oh, I was totally joking.
537
00:38:49,061 --> 00:38:51,161
I just don't think
that it's funny.
538
00:38:51,163 --> 00:38:53,730
You told me that I can
open up to you and then...
539
00:38:53,732 --> 00:38:54,498
Yeah, I'm sorry.
540
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:57,870
You're right.
541
00:38:59,605 --> 00:39:01,207
I'm actually a
little bit jealous.
542
00:39:02,975 --> 00:39:06,443
I know it's been
hard, but it's like,
543
00:39:06,445 --> 00:39:08,881
I've been witnessing
you change your life.
544
00:39:10,216 --> 00:39:12,549
I thought you were
awesome before, but now...
545
00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:14,251
Don't try to flatter
me just to make up
546
00:39:14,253 --> 00:39:16,288
for hurting me.
547
00:39:18,424 --> 00:39:19,491
What?
548
00:39:23,495 --> 00:39:24,361
What?
549
00:39:24,363 --> 00:39:25,998
Nothing.
550
00:39:28,234 --> 00:39:29,266
I'm sorry.
551
00:39:29,268 --> 00:39:30,868
I didn't mean to...
552
00:39:30,870 --> 00:39:34,038
Look, I told you
you don't have to
553
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,173
do all of this, I
know that I'm hard...
554
00:39:36,175 --> 00:39:37,541
No, stop.
555
00:39:37,543 --> 00:39:39,409
You're fine.
556
00:39:39,411 --> 00:39:41,778
I just have to get
used to it, you know?
557
00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:43,780
It's new.
558
00:39:43,782 --> 00:39:45,515
It's not something that
you have to get used to,
559
00:39:45,517 --> 00:39:47,317
it's me.
560
00:39:47,319 --> 00:39:48,352
Okay.
561
00:39:48,354 --> 00:39:50,254
Fine.
562
00:39:50,256 --> 00:39:51,956
But you are saying
a lot of things
563
00:39:51,958 --> 00:39:55,725
you never said before and being
a little more honest lately,
564
00:39:55,727 --> 00:39:57,261
which is fine with me.
565
00:39:57,263 --> 00:39:59,465
It's even refreshing.
566
00:40:03,135 --> 00:40:04,837
I wanna do it too.
567
00:40:08,307 --> 00:40:09,575
What?
568
00:40:11,277 --> 00:40:16,080
I don't know if it's because
we're a little bit older,
569
00:40:16,082 --> 00:40:20,484
and maybe we're not
spending enough time
570
00:40:20,486 --> 00:40:22,419
with each other, or...
571
00:40:53,652 --> 00:40:55,721
Hi.
572
00:40:57,456 --> 00:40:58,522
Sorry.
573
00:40:58,524 --> 00:41:00,524
You can come in.
574
00:41:00,526 --> 00:41:01,928
Thanks.
575
00:41:13,439 --> 00:41:14,338
Hi.
576
00:41:14,340 --> 00:41:15,439
Hi.
577
00:41:15,441 --> 00:41:17,309
I'm Cass.
578
00:41:19,545 --> 00:41:20,444
I'm sorry.
579
00:41:20,446 --> 00:41:21,311
What for?
580
00:41:21,313 --> 00:41:22,546
It's fine.
581
00:41:22,548 --> 00:41:24,917
I should have texted
you first or something.
582
00:41:31,257 --> 00:41:33,390
Do you want some wine?
583
00:41:33,392 --> 00:41:34,925
I don't wanna
interrupt your night.
584
00:41:34,927 --> 00:41:36,595
Oh, you're totally fine.
585
00:41:37,496 --> 00:41:38,562
Tell her.
586
00:41:38,564 --> 00:41:41,898
Of course, but do you drink?
587
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:44,534
A little.
588
00:41:44,536 --> 00:41:46,703
I'm sorry, but I'm just
trying to be responsible here,
589
00:41:46,705 --> 00:41:48,472
but are you old enough to drink?
590
00:41:48,474 --> 00:41:49,906
She's old enough.
591
00:41:49,908 --> 00:41:51,942
To answer for
herself, you mean.
592
00:41:54,346 --> 00:41:56,515
Whatever you're
comfortable with.
593
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,724
I got in a fight with my mom.
594
00:42:07,726 --> 00:42:10,027
I'm sorry to hear that.
595
00:42:10,029 --> 00:42:11,795
She's just so fuckin' batshit.
596
00:42:11,797 --> 00:42:13,332
Word, I hear that.
597
00:42:19,071 --> 00:42:20,971
Oh.
598
00:42:20,973 --> 00:42:22,741
I just did that.
599
00:42:24,343 --> 00:42:25,509
Sorry.
600
00:42:25,511 --> 00:42:27,211
It's okay, I'm used to it.
601
00:42:27,213 --> 00:42:28,678
What I
meant to say is...
602
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,117
I just really don't wanna
talk about it right now.
603
00:42:33,352 --> 00:42:37,587
If you don't mind.
604
00:42:37,589 --> 00:42:39,056
I'm sorry I
interrupted your night.
605
00:42:39,058 --> 00:42:40,826
It's totally okay.
606
00:42:42,428 --> 00:42:44,494
Let's talk about something else.
607
00:42:44,496 --> 00:42:46,032
How do you like the wine?
608
00:42:48,067 --> 00:42:49,566
It's really good, actually.
609
00:42:49,568 --> 00:42:50,700
Right?
610
00:42:50,702 --> 00:42:52,769
Marge says it's too tannic.
611
00:42:54,273 --> 00:42:55,839
I don't know what that means.
612
00:42:55,841 --> 00:42:57,574
Nah, that's okay.
613
00:42:57,576 --> 00:42:59,243
Neither does she.
614
00:43:02,448 --> 00:43:03,947
Zelda's your dog, right?
615
00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:06,216
Oh, that's right you met her.
616
00:43:06,218 --> 00:43:07,384
You watched her crap.
617
00:43:15,161 --> 00:43:17,227
She's sweet, right?
618
00:43:17,229 --> 00:43:19,998
Yeah, yeah, she's sweet.
619
00:43:35,047 --> 00:43:37,947
I will definitely text
you first next time.
620
00:43:37,949 --> 00:43:40,250
Sounds good.
621
00:43:40,252 --> 00:43:42,952
I would have told you
to come over anyway.
622
00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:44,556
I know.
623
00:43:46,458 --> 00:43:48,127
Are you
624
00:43:49,628 --> 00:43:52,298
going to be walking
into anything?
625
00:43:53,965 --> 00:43:55,467
Usually.
626
00:44:06,712 --> 00:44:08,278
I like her a lot.
627
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,846
Yeah.
628
00:44:09,848 --> 00:44:11,581
She's tough.
629
00:44:11,583 --> 00:44:13,385
Like us.
630
00:44:16,088 --> 00:44:17,389
As much as,
631
00:44:19,358 --> 00:44:23,727
as far as I've come
632
00:44:23,729 --> 00:44:25,895
since I first started
coming here, it's always
633
00:44:25,897 --> 00:44:29,399
just been me, you know?
634
00:44:29,401 --> 00:44:32,838
Out there, in the
world, not in here.
635
00:44:35,974 --> 00:44:39,376
And it's weird because I
know that she came to me
636
00:44:39,378 --> 00:44:42,348
because she feels safe, and that
637
00:44:44,616 --> 00:44:46,152
that feels nice.
638
00:44:47,586 --> 00:44:48,920
Feels good.
639
00:44:51,190 --> 00:44:53,392
We seem to share
a common trauma.
640
00:44:58,897 --> 00:45:03,635
But still there's this voice,
that old voice in my head
641
00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:08,006
telling me, protect yourself.
642
00:45:09,475 --> 00:45:10,874
Don't give too much of yourself.
643
00:45:10,876 --> 00:45:13,111
Don't take responsibility
for others.
644
00:45:14,546 --> 00:45:18,315
But at the same time I don't
feel like I should listen
645
00:45:18,317 --> 00:45:20,886
to that voice anymore.
646
00:45:23,389 --> 00:45:25,324
Why, why is that?
647
00:45:26,958 --> 00:45:29,659
Because it's wrong.
648
00:45:29,661 --> 00:45:33,863
Do you feel it's wrong.
649
00:45:33,865 --> 00:45:35,665
I just said that.
650
00:45:35,667 --> 00:45:38,268
Well yes, but,
651
00:45:38,270 --> 00:45:40,939
to me it appears you're
652
00:45:42,341 --> 00:45:43,540
unsure.
653
00:45:43,542 --> 00:45:45,444
I'm not unsure.
654
00:45:46,612 --> 00:45:48,247
I'm just waiting
for confirmation.
655
00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:53,819
Which you're not
going to give me.
656
00:45:55,887 --> 00:45:59,423
Well, even if I felt it
was the right thing to do,
657
00:45:59,425 --> 00:46:02,626
I'm still, I'm still
not completely clear
658
00:46:02,628 --> 00:46:05,797
on what it is you've decided.
659
00:46:09,501 --> 00:46:11,403
Because I'm meandering?
660
00:46:13,138 --> 00:46:14,740
Are you surprised?
661
00:46:23,081 --> 00:46:26,385
I don't feel like I should
listen to that voice this time
662
00:46:27,619 --> 00:46:30,155
because,
663
00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:34,993
it's different.
664
00:46:36,194 --> 00:46:39,062
She's not asking anything of me,
665
00:46:39,064 --> 00:46:42,334
and I'm not offering
anything that I can't give.
666
00:46:45,637 --> 00:46:47,273
And I like her.
667
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,775
Well from what you've told me,
668
00:46:51,777 --> 00:46:54,680
seems as if there's
plenty to like so far.
669
00:46:55,747 --> 00:46:58,149
Cass says she's tough like us,
670
00:47:02,588 --> 00:47:05,824
and I like the idea, you
know, of women helping women.
671
00:47:09,227 --> 00:47:11,497
Plus everybody
needs a place to go.
672
00:47:14,866 --> 00:47:16,366
How about you?
673
00:47:16,368 --> 00:47:18,904
You have a place to go?
674
00:47:21,006 --> 00:47:23,139
I just said it, here.
675
00:47:23,141 --> 00:47:26,278
I mean, in your
day-to-day life.
676
00:47:28,113 --> 00:47:32,616
Is there, is there
somewhere or someone
677
00:47:32,618 --> 00:47:35,086
you can go to when
you need help?
678
00:47:38,390 --> 00:47:40,559
I have Cass, I guess.
679
00:47:42,561 --> 00:47:43,762
Okay.
680
00:47:51,970 --> 00:47:53,670
What?
681
00:47:53,672 --> 00:47:56,773
Well I'm just
wondering if you think
682
00:47:56,775 --> 00:47:59,175
maybe this new friendship
might have something
683
00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:01,647
to offer you, as well.
684
00:48:04,716 --> 00:48:08,217
I would think so.
685
00:48:08,219 --> 00:48:10,119
Can you identify how?
686
00:48:10,121 --> 00:48:12,458
Or what it is that
you might get?
687
00:48:17,463 --> 00:48:19,731
What I could get
out of friendship?
688
00:48:29,908 --> 00:48:31,276
Hi Cass.
689
00:48:33,912 --> 00:48:35,547
You're super-bored.
690
00:48:37,783 --> 00:48:42,051
And a little bit
lonely, so here you are
691
00:48:42,053 --> 00:48:44,523
copying your
friend's weird idea.
692
00:48:47,993 --> 00:48:50,195
I don't really get it.
693
00:48:51,663 --> 00:48:54,332
I guess we're supposed to
talk about our feelings.
694
00:48:58,336 --> 00:49:00,003
Does hungry count?
695
00:49:02,574 --> 00:49:04,874
I don't even know
why I'm laughing,
696
00:49:04,876 --> 00:49:07,379
it's not funny, but I...
697
00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:15,952
It's just, it's so
beautiful out today,
698
00:49:15,954 --> 00:49:20,892
and I feel open.
699
00:49:24,896 --> 00:49:27,132
You know, like there's not
anything to worry about.
700
00:49:28,534 --> 00:49:31,202
At least not now,
not in this moment.
701
00:49:33,672 --> 00:49:36,942
And yeah, I want that.
702
00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:40,946
I want that to last.
703
00:49:45,817 --> 00:49:48,084
I'm gonna go out.
704
00:49:48,086 --> 00:49:51,421
I'm gonna go out and
705
00:49:51,423 --> 00:49:54,524
just go to the cafe
and have some lunch
706
00:49:54,526 --> 00:49:56,828
and be lazy.
707
00:50:11,309 --> 00:50:15,581
I'm glad it works for Marge.
708
00:50:16,915 --> 00:50:19,117
She seems to be doing
really well these days.
709
00:50:20,118 --> 00:50:21,587
She's like, stable.
710
00:50:22,821 --> 00:50:25,489
She's always been
stable on the surface,
711
00:50:25,491 --> 00:50:27,993
but not like this.
712
00:50:29,761 --> 00:50:31,229
I get it.
713
00:50:32,531 --> 00:50:34,900
She's showing up
for herself more.
714
00:50:39,538 --> 00:50:41,406
I miss her a little bit.
715
00:50:43,174 --> 00:50:45,276
She still hasn't
been around as much.
716
00:50:46,878 --> 00:50:50,046
At the same time, I'm
starting to feel closer to her
717
00:50:50,048 --> 00:50:52,083
when I do see her.
718
00:50:53,218 --> 00:50:54,450
It's got me thinking
a little bit,
719
00:50:54,452 --> 00:50:56,820
maybe I should talk
to someone too.
720
00:50:56,822 --> 00:50:59,424
I'm fine, but you know...
721
00:51:21,146 --> 00:51:25,350
I guess I'm starting to
understand how this works.
722
00:51:27,853 --> 00:51:29,318
It's a little devious.
723
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,356
Margaret would come up
with something like this.
724
00:51:34,993 --> 00:51:36,828
I have to keep
looking at myself.
725
00:51:41,032 --> 00:51:43,833
You know, when I don't talk,
726
00:51:43,835 --> 00:51:47,003
it keeps listening, so I have to
727
00:51:47,005 --> 00:51:50,642
keep talking
728
00:51:51,643 --> 00:51:53,211
to myself.
729
00:51:54,279 --> 00:51:55,881
Touche, Marge.
730
00:52:08,393 --> 00:52:12,631
I just feel,
731
00:52:16,267 --> 00:52:18,236
I feel
732
00:52:20,572 --> 00:52:24,075
really overwhelmed sometimes.
733
00:52:25,611 --> 00:52:28,146
Everything I do,
734
00:52:29,414 --> 00:52:30,546
I just do it.
735
00:52:30,548 --> 00:52:32,383
I'm all doer.
736
00:52:33,685 --> 00:52:35,284
I get up and I go,
737
00:52:35,286 --> 00:52:37,821
and I go out
738
00:52:37,823 --> 00:52:40,790
and I hang out
739
00:52:40,792 --> 00:52:42,726
and I stay out,
740
00:52:42,728 --> 00:52:44,429
but...
741
00:52:45,897 --> 00:52:48,898
Now I know I have plenty
to be happy about,
742
00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:53,036
and I just feel,
fuck, even right now
743
00:52:53,038 --> 00:52:55,071
I know I can just turn
this off and go find
744
00:52:55,073 --> 00:52:57,508
something to make me happy, but
745
00:53:02,948 --> 00:53:04,650
Is that happy?
746
00:53:19,898 --> 00:53:21,865
Every fucking
time I say something
747
00:53:21,867 --> 00:53:24,167
about anything that
I'm happy about,
748
00:53:24,169 --> 00:53:27,538
she fucking shits all over it.
749
00:53:30,876 --> 00:53:33,109
Doesn't matter what I do.
750
00:53:33,111 --> 00:53:35,313
Doesn't matter
what I fucking say.
751
00:53:38,483 --> 00:53:40,919
I feel like I can burst
752
00:53:44,089 --> 00:53:45,791
sometimes.
753
00:53:47,058 --> 00:53:48,794
I feel like I could
754
00:53:49,961 --> 00:53:53,131
destroy something, or someone.
755
00:53:57,435 --> 00:53:59,869
I noticed a few men have
been on the wrong end
756
00:53:59,871 --> 00:54:01,973
of that compulsion.
757
00:54:06,011 --> 00:54:07,612
Fuck.
758
00:54:54,926 --> 00:54:56,525
She didn't even let me
finish lettin' me tell her
759
00:54:56,527 --> 00:54:58,261
how many people actually
read the magazine
760
00:54:58,263 --> 00:54:59,796
before she skipped
to the end and just
761
00:54:59,798 --> 00:55:02,398
started in on me.
762
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:04,868
I don't know about that
creative writing thing,
763
00:55:04,870 --> 00:55:07,737
because that ain't no real job.
764
00:55:07,739 --> 00:55:09,272
You ain't gonna
make no real money,
765
00:55:09,274 --> 00:55:12,377
and I ain't payin' all this
money for you to stay poor.
766
00:55:14,245 --> 00:55:16,147
Parents worry.
767
00:55:19,584 --> 00:55:21,751
She isn't even paying
all of my tuition,
768
00:55:21,753 --> 00:55:24,189
I earn that shit
through scholarships.
769
00:55:34,299 --> 00:55:37,702
Now I'm just continuing
this by yelling at you.
770
00:55:38,636 --> 00:55:40,336
You're not yelling at me.
771
00:55:40,338 --> 00:55:42,207
Not like that at least.
772
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:45,944
Besides, even if you were,
I'm pretty used to it.
773
00:55:52,350 --> 00:55:56,685
I figured you
would understand.
774
00:55:56,687 --> 00:55:59,157
Still doesn't make
it right though.
775
00:56:06,664 --> 00:56:09,267
What in the world are
you smiling about?
776
00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:12,137
I don't know.
777
00:56:13,304 --> 00:56:16,274
Maybe it's just because
I'm not sad right now?
778
00:56:17,508 --> 00:56:19,410
Not tonight, at least.
779
00:56:22,814 --> 00:56:24,180
I don't wanna make you think
780
00:56:24,182 --> 00:56:26,449
I don't sympathize with you.
781
00:56:26,451 --> 00:56:30,088
No, I, I don't
wanna be sad either.
782
00:56:32,223 --> 00:56:33,990
I'm angry, you know,
783
00:56:33,992 --> 00:56:36,092
but maybe underneath
that I'm a little sad,
784
00:56:36,094 --> 00:56:38,828
but I don't know, right
now I just don't feel it.
785
00:56:38,830 --> 00:56:42,298
Good, then it's settled.
786
00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:44,435
No sadness.
787
00:56:45,570 --> 00:56:46,804
Okay.
788
00:56:55,013 --> 00:56:56,915
You wanna go outside
for a little bit?
789
00:56:58,716 --> 00:57:00,151
Outside where?
790
00:57:04,389 --> 00:57:06,022
Can I ask you something?
791
00:57:06,024 --> 00:57:07,625
Yeah.
792
00:57:12,864 --> 00:57:15,133
Are you safe?
793
00:57:17,035 --> 00:57:18,703
Yeah.
794
00:57:20,071 --> 00:57:21,772
Are you sure?
795
00:57:23,975 --> 00:57:25,108
I just felt like I should ask.
796
00:57:25,110 --> 00:57:27,012
She doesn't hit me anymore.
797
00:57:35,753 --> 00:57:37,688
She's too scared of me.
798
00:57:44,829 --> 00:57:47,198
She created a monster, you know.
799
00:57:48,199 --> 00:57:49,598
I'm 10 times angrier than she is
800
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,436
and I'd give it back to her.
801
00:58:04,015 --> 00:58:06,884
Couple years ago was the
last time she hit me.
802
00:58:11,322 --> 00:58:14,692
She started on me for some
bullshit reason or another,
803
00:58:17,228 --> 00:58:18,894
and I don't know something
was different that time.
804
00:58:18,896 --> 00:58:20,198
She...
805
00:58:22,233 --> 00:58:23,901
I just didn't back down.
806
00:58:27,738 --> 00:58:30,806
The first time in my
life I didn't back down,
807
00:58:30,808 --> 00:58:32,777
at least from her.
808
00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:41,117
Something in my just
snapped, you know?
809
00:58:41,119 --> 00:58:44,122
Just changed.
810
00:58:45,223 --> 00:58:46,322
That ever happen to you?
811
00:58:46,324 --> 00:58:47,525
Yeah.
812
00:58:54,099 --> 00:58:55,398
I wrote something about it,
813
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:57,668
like a metaphor.
814
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:05,874
I don't really like it and
it's not nearly good enough,
815
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:08,077
but I'll tell it to you
if you want to hear it.
816
00:59:08,079 --> 00:59:09,614
Okay.
817
00:59:18,956 --> 00:59:21,557
You know how you have that
818
00:59:21,559 --> 00:59:25,294
that hard, bendable plastic,
819
00:59:25,296 --> 00:59:29,832
like one of those
little cheap black combs
820
00:59:29,834 --> 00:59:32,035
that's not gone through
the unbreakable,
821
00:59:32,037 --> 00:59:34,039
so they're actually breakable?
822
00:59:39,577 --> 00:59:40,943
What if you have
something like that
823
00:59:40,945 --> 00:59:42,747
and you just bend it?
824
00:59:44,715 --> 00:59:46,817
You bend it just
'cause it could bend?
825
00:59:53,691 --> 00:59:55,958
And you just keep bending
it 'cause you can,
826
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,764
just back and forth,
back and forth.
827
01:00:00,998 --> 01:00:02,465
Maybe you start to
realize when you put
828
01:00:02,467 --> 01:00:04,133
a little more pressure on it,
829
01:00:04,135 --> 01:00:07,370
it becomes that weird
greyish-white color
830
01:00:07,372 --> 01:00:09,040
and it weakens.
831
01:00:15,046 --> 01:00:16,379
But you don't stop, right?
832
01:00:16,381 --> 01:00:19,717
You keep bending it
just 'cause you can.
833
01:00:23,254 --> 01:00:25,088
And you keep goin', you
just go back and forth,
834
01:00:25,090 --> 01:00:28,157
back and forth, and of course
835
01:00:28,159 --> 01:00:31,527
you think yeah,
this is gonna snap,
836
01:00:31,529 --> 01:00:34,499
it's gotta break, right?
837
01:00:38,269 --> 01:00:40,271
But then you hear
that hard snapping.
838
01:00:48,479 --> 01:00:50,179
When you look down
the inside isn't soft,
839
01:00:50,181 --> 01:00:52,181
it's like when you
have two sharp pieces
840
01:00:52,183 --> 01:00:53,918
in your hand.
841
01:00:57,188 --> 01:00:58,789
Surprised though.
842
01:01:03,027 --> 01:01:05,296
That's how I felt.
843
01:01:06,697 --> 01:01:08,233
That's how I feel.
844
01:01:11,436 --> 01:01:14,505
And I'm just two broken
pieces in her hand.
845
01:01:21,646 --> 01:01:24,380
She, she just got
angrier and angrier
846
01:01:24,382 --> 01:01:26,551
and I didn't even say anything.
847
01:01:28,052 --> 01:01:30,421
She said the worst things
that she's ever said.
848
01:01:35,826 --> 01:01:39,595
I didn't back down though.
849
01:01:39,597 --> 01:01:41,065
Mm-mm.
850
01:01:46,103 --> 01:01:48,371
She didn't put her
hand on me either,
851
01:01:48,373 --> 01:01:52,408
'cause I don't know what
it was, maybe it was
852
01:01:52,410 --> 01:01:54,812
just something I said.
853
01:01:56,981 --> 01:01:58,281
I think that's what it was.
854
01:01:58,283 --> 01:02:01,486
I think I just looked
at her and I said,
855
01:02:02,653 --> 01:02:04,687
you try to fucking hit
me again, old lady.
856
01:02:04,689 --> 01:02:06,457
Just try it.
857
01:02:14,031 --> 01:02:18,969
She said the worst things she's
ever said to me that night.
858
01:02:20,438 --> 01:02:22,440
She never put her
hands on me again.
859
01:02:36,921 --> 01:02:37,853
Sorry.
860
01:02:37,855 --> 01:02:39,457
Don't be.
861
01:02:46,664 --> 01:02:48,866
I had a fight like
that once, too.
862
01:02:52,237 --> 01:02:54,703
With my dad.
863
01:02:54,705 --> 01:02:55,671
Good for you.
864
01:02:55,673 --> 01:02:57,506
No.
865
01:02:57,508 --> 01:03:01,111
It wasn't, it was never good.
866
01:03:03,948 --> 01:03:05,350
For anybody.
867
01:03:09,954 --> 01:03:12,221
I see what you're saying,
868
01:03:12,223 --> 01:03:15,057
but I don't completely
agree with you.
869
01:03:15,059 --> 01:03:17,326
There is something I could do.
870
01:03:17,328 --> 01:03:18,527
I can be there for you,
871
01:03:18,529 --> 01:03:20,298
just like you're
always there for me.
872
01:03:21,666 --> 01:03:25,135
Probably do a better job
with that sort of stuff.
873
01:03:26,103 --> 01:03:28,404
I know we can.
874
01:03:28,406 --> 01:03:31,809
And I think we should.
875
01:03:33,978 --> 01:03:35,713
What are you scheming?
876
01:03:37,081 --> 01:03:38,981
What makes you
think I'm scheming?
877
01:03:38,983 --> 01:03:42,985
Don't play games
with me, Cassandra.
878
01:03:42,987 --> 01:03:45,087
Okay, there is something
879
01:03:45,089 --> 01:03:47,358
I want to talk to you about.
880
01:03:48,493 --> 01:03:49,958
Are you okay?
881
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:52,961
Oh yeah, no, I'm fine.
882
01:03:52,963 --> 01:03:55,030
I wanted to talk to
you about my lease.
883
01:03:55,032 --> 01:03:57,165
Your lease, what about it?
884
01:03:57,167 --> 01:03:59,635
It's up in a
little over a month,
885
01:03:59,637 --> 01:04:03,372
and I'm thinking of moving.
886
01:04:03,374 --> 01:04:05,908
Oh yeah?
887
01:04:05,910 --> 01:04:07,077
Yeah.
888
01:04:08,212 --> 01:04:10,279
Ugh my God, I totally wanted to
889
01:04:10,281 --> 01:04:13,516
talk to you about
this in person.
890
01:04:13,518 --> 01:04:16,184
And I know you
like living alone,
891
01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:19,655
but other best friends live
with each other, Marge,
892
01:04:19,657 --> 01:04:21,957
it's not a crazy proposition.
893
01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:23,992
I know, I know.
894
01:04:23,994 --> 01:04:28,566
But, I thought that you
liked living alone, too.
895
01:04:30,768 --> 01:04:33,736
Ah, it's losing its appeal.
896
01:04:33,738 --> 01:04:35,938
My whole lonely
lifestyle is rapidly
897
01:04:35,940 --> 01:04:39,241
losing its appeal.
898
01:04:41,245 --> 01:04:43,111
It's not funny.
899
01:04:43,113 --> 01:04:45,213
I'm sorry, I'm
not laughing at you.
900
01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:47,850
You totally just
laughed at me.
901
01:04:47,852 --> 01:04:50,085
Right in my face.
902
01:04:50,087 --> 01:04:52,254
If I had been recording
this, I'd have proof.
903
01:04:52,256 --> 01:04:53,589
And who says I'm not?
904
01:04:53,591 --> 01:04:55,358
Okay, okay.
905
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:56,659
I've stopped.
906
01:04:56,661 --> 01:04:59,328
Right.
907
01:04:59,330 --> 01:05:00,529
I'm serious, though.
908
01:05:00,531 --> 01:05:02,898
I wanna at least
live closer to you.
909
01:05:02,900 --> 01:05:05,300
I miss you, boob.
910
01:05:05,302 --> 01:05:08,170
Living closer would
be fucking awesome.
911
01:05:08,172 --> 01:05:09,572
Right?
912
01:05:09,574 --> 01:05:10,806
That doesn't mean
you're off the hook
913
01:05:10,808 --> 01:05:12,908
with the roommate proposal.
914
01:05:12,910 --> 01:05:14,810
I know you probably
need some time,
915
01:05:14,812 --> 01:05:18,146
but I think that
should be option 1A.
916
01:05:18,148 --> 01:05:19,882
What
about the commute?
917
01:05:19,884 --> 01:05:22,518
I'll be saving a
shitton in rent, Mags.
918
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:24,286
I'll just buy some
paperbacks for the train.
919
01:05:24,288 --> 01:05:25,554
Screw that.
920
01:05:25,556 --> 01:05:27,923
I'll steal 'em from you.
921
01:05:27,925 --> 01:05:29,425
They'd be given freely.
922
01:05:31,962 --> 01:05:33,462
So you'd be cool
with at least that?
923
01:05:33,464 --> 01:05:34,797
Me moving to your hood?
924
01:05:34,799 --> 01:05:36,465
More than cool with it.
925
01:05:36,467 --> 01:05:38,767
And I don't own the
neighborhood, so.
926
01:05:38,769 --> 01:05:40,002
Yeah, I can live
wherever I want.
927
01:05:40,004 --> 01:05:41,837
I don't need your
fucking permission.
928
01:05:43,173 --> 01:05:44,673
I am serious about this.
929
01:05:44,675 --> 01:05:46,642
I know.
930
01:05:46,644 --> 01:05:48,879
I wanna just
931
01:05:50,715 --> 01:05:55,052
get my shit together
and like be.
932
01:05:57,354 --> 01:05:59,388
I'm gonna read all your
smarty pants books,
933
01:05:59,390 --> 01:06:02,725
at least half way, and
934
01:06:02,727 --> 01:06:06,829
I'm gonna follow you to yoga
or meditation or whatever,
935
01:06:06,831 --> 01:06:08,897
and I'm gonna start
buying organic and shit.
936
01:06:08,899 --> 01:06:10,733
I'm gonna be your
happy hippy shadow.
937
01:06:12,269 --> 01:06:13,936
Oh, hippies
don't cast shadows.
938
01:06:13,938 --> 01:06:15,971
They're like vampires?
939
01:06:15,973 --> 01:06:17,706
Vampires cast shadows, Cass,
940
01:06:17,708 --> 01:06:18,907
they don't have reflections.
941
01:06:18,909 --> 01:06:23,278
Oh, but would a vampire shadow
942
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,848
be seen in a mirror?
943
01:06:25,850 --> 01:06:28,517
And what about vampire hippies?
944
01:06:28,519 --> 01:06:30,853
What do they eat?
945
01:06:30,855 --> 01:06:32,621
Beets?
946
01:06:32,623 --> 01:06:35,524
That makes no sense, Margaret.
947
01:06:35,526 --> 01:06:37,259
Yes it does.
948
01:06:38,763 --> 01:06:40,596
Soon we're going to be able
to be ridiculous in person.
949
01:06:40,598 --> 01:06:42,900
It's going to be great.
950
01:07:03,488 --> 01:07:05,490
It's okay, let me take this.
951
01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:09,894
I'm just gonna put
it down over here.
952
01:07:11,929 --> 01:07:13,261
It's okay.
953
01:07:13,263 --> 01:07:14,129
Sorry.
954
01:07:14,131 --> 01:07:16,398
It's okay.
955
01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:18,967
It's gonna be okay.
956
01:07:18,969 --> 01:07:20,769
You're gonna be okay.
957
01:07:33,818 --> 01:07:35,252
It's still hot.
958
01:07:43,894 --> 01:07:48,899
Do you, do you want
me to call anybody?
959
01:07:52,002 --> 01:07:53,370
I did.
960
01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:57,842
I mean anybody else?
961
01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:00,811
Like who?
962
01:08:04,949 --> 01:08:06,651
Like the police?
963
01:08:07,785 --> 01:08:09,086
Whoever.
964
01:08:13,057 --> 01:08:14,625
There's no one to call.
965
01:08:18,162 --> 01:08:19,830
Except for my brother,
966
01:08:21,398 --> 01:08:23,467
but that's why I
can't call the police.
967
01:08:27,171 --> 01:08:30,706
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
968
01:08:30,708 --> 01:08:33,010
She gives him money.
969
01:08:35,746 --> 01:08:39,950
He's a fuck-up, but he needs it.
970
01:08:41,185 --> 01:08:43,018
She would cut him off
just to get to me,
971
01:08:43,020 --> 01:08:44,755
and I can't do that to him,
972
01:08:46,290 --> 01:08:49,524
and I can't fuck with
her just to get to him,
973
01:08:49,526 --> 01:08:51,562
I have to help him instead.
974
01:08:53,998 --> 01:08:55,764
That's really not
your responsibility.
975
01:08:55,766 --> 01:08:59,269
And it's not yours, either.
976
01:09:01,739 --> 01:09:02,771
I'm sorry.
977
01:09:02,773 --> 01:09:05,009
No, you're right, I get it.
978
01:09:06,076 --> 01:09:07,544
It's complicated.
979
01:09:10,748 --> 01:09:12,850
I'm sorry that I had
nowhere else to go to.
980
01:09:14,218 --> 01:09:15,485
It's fine.
981
01:09:16,721 --> 01:09:19,955
Why is it fine?
982
01:09:19,957 --> 01:09:21,389
Why are you being so nice to me?
983
01:09:21,391 --> 01:09:22,591
What, do you just feel so sorry
984
01:09:22,593 --> 01:09:24,862
for the poor little black girl?
985
01:09:48,819 --> 01:09:50,554
The tea smells good.
986
01:09:54,491 --> 01:09:55,924
It is good.
987
01:09:55,926 --> 01:09:58,126
It's probably cool enough
to drink right now.
988
01:09:58,128 --> 01:10:00,162
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
no it's not, it's not.
989
01:10:00,164 --> 01:10:01,563
It's not cool enough.
990
01:10:01,565 --> 01:10:02,464
I'll just leave it there.
991
01:10:02,466 --> 01:10:03,431
Yeah.
992
01:10:03,433 --> 01:10:04,867
We'll wait.
993
01:10:04,869 --> 01:10:06,170
Yeah.
994
01:10:26,056 --> 01:10:27,656
This what I got
to look forward to?
995
01:10:27,658 --> 01:10:29,324
Huh, unfortunately.
996
01:10:29,326 --> 01:10:32,460
Um, there is stuff to make
sandwiches in the fridge,
997
01:10:32,462 --> 01:10:35,632
and feel free to take
whatever you want, okay?
998
01:10:40,470 --> 01:10:44,072
Also, if you have any
trouble like finding anything
999
01:10:44,074 --> 01:10:47,642
or if you wanna talk,
just text me, okay?
1000
01:10:47,644 --> 01:10:49,644
Actually, I'll just
call you later.
1001
01:10:49,646 --> 01:10:51,146
You don't have
to do that, okay.
1002
01:10:51,148 --> 01:10:53,215
I know, I know, I just
don't have any dinner food,
1003
01:10:53,217 --> 01:10:55,718
so we'll talk about
dinner, all right?
1004
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:56,821
Okay, bye.
1005
01:11:17,207 --> 01:11:19,074
This was a good call.
1006
01:11:19,076 --> 01:11:21,176
Yeah, I thought something
dimple would be good.
1007
01:11:21,178 --> 01:11:24,146
Mm, how much do I
owe you for everything?
1008
01:11:24,148 --> 01:11:25,513
No.
1009
01:11:25,515 --> 01:11:28,719
No, really, how
much do I owe you?
1010
01:11:31,922 --> 01:11:34,156
Look, I really don't
have anywhere else to go.
1011
01:11:34,158 --> 01:11:35,357
I know.
1012
01:11:35,359 --> 01:11:36,825
I know that.
1013
01:11:36,827 --> 01:11:38,660
And I really appreciate
you letting me stay with you.
1014
01:11:38,662 --> 01:11:40,395
Vee.
1015
01:11:40,397 --> 01:11:42,530
Just let me finish.
1016
01:11:42,532 --> 01:11:44,068
Okay.
1017
01:11:45,035 --> 01:11:45,970
Sorry.
1018
01:11:47,071 --> 01:11:48,336
I just don't wanna crowd you
1019
01:11:48,338 --> 01:11:49,604
and I don't wanna
overstay my welcome.
1020
01:11:49,606 --> 01:11:50,906
That's
not why I was asking...
1021
01:11:50,908 --> 01:11:54,011
Just let me pay for
food this time, bitch.
1022
01:11:57,748 --> 01:11:58,983
Okay.
1023
01:11:59,817 --> 01:12:00,818
Fine.
1024
01:12:10,327 --> 01:12:12,795
You dip your
fries in barbecue?
1025
01:12:12,797 --> 01:12:13,996
You don't?
1026
01:12:13,998 --> 01:12:15,263
It's delicious.
1027
01:12:15,265 --> 01:12:17,766
Barbecue's for meat.
1028
01:12:17,768 --> 01:12:20,437
You don't eat
barbecue potato chips?
1029
01:12:34,985 --> 01:12:36,686
I'll just stick to ketchup.
1030
01:12:40,024 --> 01:12:41,356
Where are you goin'?
1031
01:12:41,358 --> 01:12:42,825
I'm leaving.
1032
01:12:42,827 --> 01:12:44,827
I hope you and your ketchup
are very happy together.
1033
01:12:44,829 --> 01:12:47,762
What's wrong with you?
1034
01:12:47,764 --> 01:12:49,764
I'm just gettin' some water.
1035
01:12:49,766 --> 01:12:50,799
Do you want some water?
1036
01:12:50,801 --> 01:12:52,169
Sure.
1037
01:12:55,973 --> 01:12:57,607
I didn't know you were silly.
1038
01:13:02,612 --> 01:13:04,112
I don't care,
Marge, I wanna see it.
1039
01:13:04,114 --> 01:13:05,313
Why?
1040
01:13:05,315 --> 01:13:06,248
Because
it looks beautiful.
1041
01:13:06,250 --> 01:13:07,749
It's out of your price range,
1042
01:13:07,751 --> 01:13:09,251
and it's a three-bedroom.
1043
01:13:09,253 --> 01:13:11,519
And there are
three of us here.
1044
01:13:11,521 --> 01:13:13,088
Woah, I can't.
1045
01:13:13,090 --> 01:13:15,090
I can't afford to
move yet, I mean,
1046
01:13:15,092 --> 01:13:16,358
I will but I can't do that.
1047
01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:17,425
I'm gonna go look at
it, and the two of you
1048
01:13:17,427 --> 01:13:20,697
can either come with me, or not.
1049
01:13:24,068 --> 01:13:25,502
Come on!
1050
01:13:26,904 --> 01:13:29,071
Square, uh let me double
check on the details.
1051
01:13:29,073 --> 01:13:30,672
I'm so excited to show
you this location.
1052
01:13:30,674 --> 01:13:33,141
Could be the start of a
really cool girl's club.
1053
01:13:33,143 --> 01:13:36,113
I'm offering you a chance to
get in on the ground level.
1054
01:13:37,982 --> 01:13:39,749
I like my place, Cass.
1055
01:13:44,221 --> 01:13:45,453
How much can you pay?
1056
01:13:45,455 --> 01:13:47,289
Cass.
1057
01:13:47,291 --> 01:13:49,291
Are you comfortable
telling me?
1058
01:13:49,293 --> 01:13:51,526
I really like this place and
I can afford a big portion
1059
01:13:51,528 --> 01:13:53,996
of the rent.
1060
01:13:53,998 --> 01:13:55,230
Honestly?
1061
01:13:55,232 --> 01:13:57,565
Of course.
1062
01:13:57,567 --> 01:13:59,703
I don't know, maybe 500 tops.
1063
01:14:03,073 --> 01:14:04,306
She may not want
to live with you.
1064
01:14:04,308 --> 01:14:06,710
You may be putting
her on the spot.
1065
01:14:07,844 --> 01:14:09,444
I'm sorry, am I doing that?
1066
01:14:09,446 --> 01:14:12,516
Not really.
1067
01:14:13,583 --> 01:14:15,984
I don't not wanna live with you.
1068
01:14:15,986 --> 01:14:17,319
Mhm?
1069
01:14:17,321 --> 01:14:19,756
But with both of you.
1070
01:14:22,459 --> 01:14:24,359
Oh my god, you two.
1071
01:14:28,565 --> 01:14:30,098
You can't even move
for another month,
1072
01:14:30,100 --> 01:14:32,667
and this place'll
probably be gone by then.
1073
01:14:32,669 --> 01:14:33,969
Three weeks.
1074
01:14:33,971 --> 01:14:35,470
They'll save it for us.
1075
01:14:35,472 --> 01:14:36,905
My credit score's bomb.
1076
01:14:36,907 --> 01:14:38,540
And even if I do
have to pay extra,
1077
01:14:38,542 --> 01:14:41,245
it still represents
savings in the long run.
1078
01:14:42,279 --> 01:14:44,079
If you join us.
1079
01:14:44,081 --> 01:14:46,281
I don't wanna pay
an uneven share.
1080
01:14:46,283 --> 01:14:48,416
What if you get last
pick of the bedrooms?
1081
01:14:48,418 --> 01:14:49,151
Cass.
1082
01:14:49,153 --> 01:14:50,385
What?
1083
01:14:50,387 --> 01:14:53,288
She shouldn't have
to worry about that.
1084
01:14:53,290 --> 01:14:55,890
You need to start a new life.
1085
01:14:55,892 --> 01:14:57,292
Of course you should
be comfortable
1086
01:14:57,294 --> 01:14:59,494
with how that gets done, but
1087
01:14:59,496 --> 01:15:01,331
let people help you.
1088
01:15:02,566 --> 01:15:04,168
I'm not usually good
at helping people.
1089
01:15:05,936 --> 01:15:09,073
Ultimately, money is
such a minor thing.
1090
01:15:09,974 --> 01:15:11,306
Says the person with money.
1091
01:15:11,308 --> 01:15:12,207
Mhm.
1092
01:15:12,209 --> 01:15:14,144
Rowr.
1093
01:15:16,713 --> 01:15:17,881
I...
1094
01:15:20,150 --> 01:15:23,451
I would consider
signing if Mags does.
1095
01:15:23,453 --> 01:15:26,056
Ha!
1096
01:15:27,457 --> 01:15:29,226
Let's go this, Mags.
1097
01:15:30,494 --> 01:15:32,696
I am your destiny.
1098
01:15:33,897 --> 01:15:36,466
We are your destiny.
1099
01:15:45,175 --> 01:15:46,508
I don't know if I
can break my lease.
1100
01:15:46,510 --> 01:15:47,442
Ah!
1101
01:15:47,444 --> 01:15:50,314
My dear, we will wait for you!
1102
01:15:51,515 --> 01:15:53,215
Hey lady!
1103
01:15:53,217 --> 01:15:54,716
Do you wanna keep
talking on the phone
1104
01:15:54,718 --> 01:15:57,419
to a prospective client,
or do you wanna make money
1105
01:15:57,421 --> 01:15:58,920
right now?
1106
01:15:58,922 --> 01:16:01,489
I feel like this could
be really good for me.
1107
01:16:01,491 --> 01:16:03,891
For us.
1108
01:16:03,893 --> 01:16:06,361
I know I haven't been through
what Vee is going through,
1109
01:16:06,363 --> 01:16:10,600
or what Marge has been through,
and I'm thankful for that.
1110
01:16:11,635 --> 01:16:13,470
But maybe that means I can help.
1111
01:16:14,671 --> 01:16:16,471
Maybe when we live together,
1112
01:16:16,473 --> 01:16:19,874
if we talk with the
time, everybody's got
1113
01:16:19,876 --> 01:16:21,643
their own shit to deal with.
1114
01:16:21,645 --> 01:16:25,147
I'm not exactly the
picture of happiness.
1115
01:16:25,149 --> 01:16:28,550
A reset will be good.
1116
01:16:28,552 --> 01:16:31,286
Why wouldn't I wanna
live with my best friend?
1117
01:16:31,288 --> 01:16:33,521
And the more I get to know
Vee, the more I like her.
1118
01:16:33,523 --> 01:16:36,291
She's really fucking smart,
and she's got a smart ass,
1119
01:16:36,293 --> 01:16:38,393
which is the best
kind of ass to have,
1120
01:16:38,395 --> 01:16:40,630
which makes her my
kind of roommate.
1121
01:16:42,632 --> 01:16:45,167
I hope Girl's Club doesn't
turn into book club though.
1122
01:16:45,169 --> 01:16:46,768
It might with those two
1123
01:16:46,770 --> 01:16:48,203
I could do wine and books.
1124
01:16:48,205 --> 01:16:49,971
That could be my contribution.
1125
01:16:49,973 --> 01:16:52,576
The wine.
1126
01:16:53,910 --> 01:16:55,477
I'm still afraid, yeah,
1127
01:16:55,479 --> 01:16:59,181
but I know it's gonna be
1128
01:16:59,183 --> 01:17:00,882
a long road, and
that it's gonna take
1129
01:17:00,884 --> 01:17:02,850
more than change to help me,
1130
01:17:02,852 --> 01:17:07,189
but I don't know,
maybe Cass was right.
1131
01:17:07,191 --> 01:17:09,324
I just need something for me.
1132
01:17:09,326 --> 01:17:12,460
A new life for me.
1133
01:17:12,462 --> 01:17:14,964
Or at least something
with potential.
1134
01:17:21,871 --> 01:17:23,471
That's all I know for now,
1135
01:17:23,473 --> 01:17:26,410
just that it won't be the
same as it was before.
1136
01:17:28,212 --> 01:17:29,679
So.
1137
01:17:30,914 --> 01:17:32,414
Are we gonna talk
about the groceries,
1138
01:17:32,416 --> 01:17:34,116
or?
1139
01:17:34,118 --> 01:17:36,718
Very funny, bitch.
1140
01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:37,919
Very funny.
1141
01:17:37,921 --> 01:17:40,056
We'll see how it goes.
1142
01:17:41,558 --> 01:17:43,491
It might,
1143
01:17:43,493 --> 01:17:46,096
it will probably be good for me.
1144
01:17:47,964 --> 01:17:49,366
For all of us.
1145
01:17:51,201 --> 01:17:52,602
It's worth a shot.
1146
01:17:54,604 --> 01:17:56,070
It's something to do,
1147
01:17:56,072 --> 01:18:00,076
in addition to all the
searching and the talking.
1148
01:18:05,782 --> 01:18:08,616
Do you know why I
really said yes?
1149
01:18:08,618 --> 01:18:11,054
Why?
1150
01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:14,522
I'm not stupid.
1151
01:18:14,524 --> 01:18:16,391
I know Cass.
1152
01:18:16,393 --> 01:18:18,728
I knew something like
this might happen.
1153
01:18:22,432 --> 01:18:24,100
The idea gave me hope.
1154
01:18:25,202 --> 01:18:26,670
You know?
1155
01:18:28,638 --> 01:18:29,771
Finally.
1156
01:18:29,773 --> 01:18:31,375
Some real hope.
1157
01:18:33,410 --> 01:18:35,111
Something to be thankful for.
1158
01:18:36,480 --> 01:18:40,917
I mean, two people
who really get me,
1159
01:18:42,352 --> 01:18:45,553
two real people who will
always be there for me,
1160
01:18:45,555 --> 01:18:47,023
no matter what.
1161
01:18:49,959 --> 01:18:51,293
I feel that trust.
1162
01:18:58,602 --> 01:18:59,901
How many times have
I walked in here
1163
01:18:59,903 --> 01:19:02,103
with that kind of positivity?
1164
01:19:09,681 --> 01:19:14,681
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