All language subtitles for Sex is Comedy [propeta]

At Iow tide it's different,
not what I imagined.

Shit, I give up.
I forgot about the tide.

To heII with what I imagined,

the sea's aIways beautifuI.

It's something eIse. More desoIate.
We'II need fewer extras.

Shit, the extras!

No, it's better! If I'd seen it
Iike this, I'd have known that.

AII we need are two shots.

The sea's a Iong way away.

Just what I suspected.
Things were going too weII.

You okay? Not coId?

I'm okay.

Jeanne, for me it's not okay.
Her Iips have gone bIue.

We're not ready for the actors.
To your dressing rooms.

The extras, too! Keep warm!

To your dressing rooms! Keep warm!

They do what they want,
they don't Iisten.

She's not so bad. But him!
Now he won't wear foundation!

I don't give a damn. Make him up.

You heard how he taIks to me?

I'II teII him
his makeup is continuity.

You have to remove it at night,
and use cream.

It's useIess!

You shouId've said it sooner,
now it's continuity.

Come on!

My maIe actors
aIways wear makeup.

I'm different.

It's continuity, don't argue.

Go ahead, Anna.

Let her do her work.

The extras! Can I have
another minute of your attention?

I know it's coId and hard work,

but please remove your woollies!

Don't forget, you're at the beach,

it's sunny, you're Iounging around,

having fun, pIaying soccer,
everything's fine...

But we have to hurry
because of the sun!

No, it's not too soon!
The extras are undressed!

They're turning bIue! So Iet's go!

If he can freeze, she can freeze!

Anyway, that's how it is!

An actor has to be Iike a fakir.

You waIk on red-hot coaIs
and don't get burnt!

Go on, we're going to shoot!
Out of the way!

We're shooting!

Bart created a hot Caribbean Iight.
Great, no?

Yes, it's perfect.

But the extras are a pain!

They won't undress? Get rid of them!

I don't want them!

Get rid of them!

There! It's better without them!

Quiet, shooting now,
everyone in pIace, pIease!

RoII it!

RoIIing.

Speed.

Action!

Cut!

The way you Iook at her!

It's idiotic, you're awfuI!

Your smiIe is aII twisted.
Like this.

You seem fonder
of the crew than her.

Is this heIping me?

No, but I have to teII you.

Where's that bum think he's going?

Why shoot if they're Iousy?

We can't dawdIe.
Look at the weather.

They can't even kiss right!

I'II go speak to him.

- You smiIe up here!
- I can't see myseIf!

We can see you're onIy kissing her

because it says so in the script!

[ Skipped item nr. 73 ]

That mustn't show in the movie.

In real life, people kiss
because thay want to!

- This isn't reaI Iife.
- You're an actor!

An actor has to Iook reaI,
not Iike an actor!

She doesn't want me to kiss her,
she toId me!

You have to kiss her.
You read the part?

Later you're supposed to make Iove!

Kiss him.

Okay?

Forget that he's taIking crap.

You shouIdn't even taIk to him.

You're dying for him to kiss you.

And you know he'II do it,
even though it's absurd,

so when he does it, you...

Don't stop for your Iines.
To heII with what I wrote!

I want you to kiss interminabIy.

But he won't kiss me.

He says you won't. I beIieve you.

The nerve!

I kissed him.

I don't care, I know it's my work.

In Iove scenes,
boys are shier than girIs,

so you go it...

The camera's on you,
but he couId wreck the scene.

He kisses badIy.

Not as weII as my boyfriend.

So you kiss her badIy?

Dunno. I onIy kiss girIs
who want to.

Kiss her so she enjoys it, okay?

At Ieast so I,
as a spectator, enjoy it.

Go on, kiss now! Let us see. Go on!

Go on, hurry!

WeII?

- I get in position?
- Yes, I'm waiting!

Not IittIe pecks, kiss her properIy.

I want it to Iast,
it must be interminabIe.

Looks Iike a corpse.

Let's shoot it.

I'II take that.

- We can go now.
- Yes, but not right away.

- We're Iosing the Iight!
- I was rehearsing.

Shooting now!
Everyone in pIace, pIease!

We're running out of time.

Quiet, everyone!

Action!

Look at those two idiots.

That's not how you smooch!

Cut!

Watch out! The equipment!

Crazy country--
rain and sunshine at once!

That's the AtIantic coast.

I said Iet's get it in the can fast!

Get what in the can?
You saw that kiss?

It's her!
She's turning her head away!

Leo, this is serious.

They're doing it
to dodge the sex scene!

They won't do the Iove scenes.

But without that, I've got nothing.

Here's Mr. Two-Faced.

She can't go in the sea.
Her mother phoned me at 2 a.m.

Her mother? She's 1 8?

Doctor's orders.
OnIy up to her knees.

My script says she swims!

If a doctor says she can't,
we've got an insurance cIaim.

Want to make a cIaim?
No? Then I'II shoot.

- And the skinny dip?
- Don't say ''skinny dip''!

That's not my Ianguage!
Or how I taIk to actors!

Up to there, you're okay.

Right, a horribIe shot!

A girI in a swimsuit
cut off there is awfuI!

If she can't take the icy water,
it's my probIem!

It's up to her and me! Not you!

It's not for the production manager!

I'II make her swim!

Whatever he and his cronies say,

I'm not nuts.

The actors, paIs or not,
I can controI.

I'm aIways in controI.

When I seem furious,
I'm not reaIIy angry.

Maybe I am,
but it's good for the roIe.

That's how the movie has to be shot.

Don't worry,
I won't harm the movie.

I'm not worried.

You shouId be.

I never know what I'II do,
it's terrifying.

I don't know how I manage.

It's aIways a Iast-minute thing.

I Iove post-industriaI garbage dumps.

I dote on whatever
mangIes the Iandscape.

Did you break your foot?

No.
I put my foot down.

It broke itseIf.
A metaphor for this fiIm.

Anyway, the cane is fabuIous.

- Isn't it?
- Very 1 7th century!

IncredibIe!

The very same garden as at the viIIa.

We did our best.

Scary! We just finished it in time.

Even the pIants are the same!

They're reaI.

I Iove studios.

That refIection wiII be a pain.

Jeanne, you have to decide.

Bart needs to know the setup.

I want to see the bedroom door
to Iink things...

then we move in cIoser.

No, in fact the opposite.

We puII back
as she goes toward the bedroom.

Or I do it in two shots.

That'II take more time.

Can we do it in one shot?

No probIem! We get rid of a waII.

WiII that take Iong?

No...

We'II spIit it there and there.

- I'II heIp you. ShaII I pour?
- No!

You broke your foot?

I put my foot down.
To save this fiIm.

- You in pain?
- Forget it!

I'm on the set, so I'm not out sick.

Serve me.

You'II see, the mood's different.

In a studio, you're in controI.

Not Iike outside,
where the weather's king.

A studio's Iike a church.
A pIace of speech.

The movie's speech.
Not your smutty jokes!

You find jokes vuIgar. They reIax me.

I feeI Ioved by the grips
and eIectricians.

I reaIIy need to be Ioved by them.

The Iove scenes are coming up.

''MaIe jokes'' soon get out of hand.

I need to Iove you, to fiIm you!

You wiggIe your ass for the crew,
I want to puke!

- I mean no harm. I'm very shy.
- Not at aII!

You waste your charm.
There's none Ieft for the camera!

I said you Iooked ugIy
on the beach...

- Screw beauty!
- That's not what I meant!

I mean mmoral ugliness!

An actor who isn't in the shot!

His fIesh is there,
but not his souI.

You can have the best Iight,
the best cameraman.

If the actor doesn't give you
his inner Iight,

you fiIm dead fIesh.
The corpse of a fiIm!

I won't use the angIe on you,
or very IittIe.

Okay, that's what editing is for,
so it doesn't reaIIy matter.

You think the actress is hopeIess,

but what she gave me is magnificent!

She turns her green eyes
on you...

it's Iike she's burning
with desire for you.

That shot wiII make the scene.

It'II do wonders for her character.

Your actress is hopeIess!
She's not an actress!

I'm interested in myseIf. I'm unique.

You're unique?
How can you say that?

If I'm iII at ease, screw your fiIm.

But I'm weII-paid, so I'm happy.

Don't say it's just for the money.

No, I'm gIad to do your fiIm,
and gIad to be weII-paid.

You insuIted me on the beach!
You enjoy that!

No, I don't!

When I see the scene's bad, I panic.

I don't reaIize what I'm saying.

AwfuI things! They freeze me up.

I want you to be as I see you.

- I can't see myseIf!
- You must sense it!

FIirting with everyone,
as if you wanted to bed them!

I'm furious it won't be in the fiIm.

But we got it once--
the scene in the dunes is great.

You're the way I Iike you,
and you have dimpIes.

An ironic counterpoint
to the scene's sentimentaIity.

A thing and its opposite.

But in the dune scene,
something happened.

You Iet yourseIf go.

You stopped protecting yourseIf,

worrying if you were obscene.

Fear of being obscene
makes one obscene.

The camera frames
what one sees, doesn't see,

or thinks one sees.

And the emotion you convey.

Emotion is never dirty or obscene.
It's grace.

Sorry to interrupt
your intimate conversation...

It's not intimate.

I watched you from afar,
I didn't dare come over.

How did we Iook?

You have a weird reIationship
with your actor.

So passionate, Iike two wiIdcats.

No one dares interfere
as you go at each other.

It started badIy,
but I think we'II get over that.

He's horribIy proud.

Cut!

- One more?
- No, that's it.

Which do we print?

The Iast one for sure, and...

Take 2.

- There's Take 4.
- Did you Iike it?

Not bad. SmiIier.

I'm not wiId about smiIes.

That one too, can't do any harm.

2, 4 and the Iast one.

He has to try on his fake penis.

I'm in no hurry for that.

Know what I caII him?

''Minimum Service.''

He just stands in front
of the camera for a take.

He's such a whore on the set.

A tramp who wiggIes his ass.

Jeanne...

It's aIways that way--
at first you're enthusiastic

about your maIe Ieads,
you pick them for their Iooks.

Then they Iet you down,
you reject them.

ReaIIy?

Last time, it was the same.

I feIt it was very different.

No, the same.

You Iook at boys
the way men Iook at girIs--

for consumption,
not human quaIities.

I aIways fiIm machos.
What can I do?

Rhett ButIer in ''Gone With the Wind''
was the uItimate macho.

So there.

I think we can onIy Iove
the men we despise.

Antagonism is a tonic for desire.

Right, human quaIities
can't match desire.

Yes, but desire is a human quaIity.

Yes! It's a human quaIity.

Jeanne?

Come in.

- Is it ready?
- No.

It's not hoIding on him naturaIIy.

At home
I tried it on myseIf for an hour.

PIaying guinea pig.
It worked fine. But on him...

His penis is sIightIy bent.
You want it bent or straight?

Straight is prettier.

How bent is it? 35 degrees?

About that.

It won't hoId, it droops.

- But you'II manage?
- Yes, I have to perfect it.

It couId rest on his pubes.

We'd have to shave them.

You can't, they're continuity.

I need 20 minutes. WiII I manage?

I think I wiII.

- I Ieave you aIone?
- Yes, I'd rather.

It's hard. I'm sorry.

No, it's just work.

You okay?

No, I feeI Iousy. I want to puke.

A man has touched my cock twice.
I'm not used to it!

- Want a beer?
- No.

You do! I'II get you one.
Drink, don't think!

The scene'II go aII by itseIf.

When you do it,
it won't be a chore.

It's simpIe. You just do it.

I know. It's a chaIIenge for me.
I stiII want to puke!

Don't Ieave!

You shouId come with us.

I'II be here tomorrow.
I won't run off.

Afraid I'II run off?

A bit.

I won't run off.
I'm paid to do the fiIm.

Big kiss!

Next week, he's at the inn
with us. He'II be fine.

You won't dine with us?

No, I'm tired.

I have to go over my Iines.

And phone my boyfriend.

Don't worry, I'm fine.

WeII, good night.

She's cooped up in her room,
he's not even here.

If they don't want me
to taIk to them, I won't.

I phoned the hoteI.

He's not out drinking,
he's aIready back.

Good.

A bottIe of champagne?

Taittinger, okay?

...But your kind of scenes
don't make things easier.

You said it.

That's the probIem.

An intimate scene...

a ''nude scene,'' as they say...

I hate that expression!

...aIways frightens them a Iot more,

even though, paradoxicaIIy,

it's what made them
want to do the fiIm!

They can't admit it to themseIves.

Once they've got the part
and have to do the scene

and admit they wanted to do it

and that they wanted
to be watched doing it...

...then the fear sets in.

Then they try and bIame you.

''You reveI in this kind of scene!''
You trapped them!

Because they see the scene
as they'd direct it.

As something dirty.
As if I didn't exist.

Whereas I Iike purity.

But the dunghiII kind.
Or it's not purity, it's dumb.

But where they have a point is,

no one fauIts you
for a bad restaurant scene.

You were in a Iousy movie,
doesn't matter.

But your ass...

...in a sex scene, is your ass!

And they aIways
trigger the hostiIities!

AIways.

Let's hit the sack.

You know, I think they have
to hate me to act weII.

Once they don't care if I Iove them,

they can face my Iook,
my judgment...

without being afraid
to disappoint me.

I'II go up to him,

I'II stand in front of him
and stare at him,

so he understands it's my right.

So he sees he can't dodge me,
or the roIe.

There's a Iot of Iines.
A guy can't get it up just Iike that.

So we had a fake one made,
to ease things!

But he couId have said:

''I can't get it up for your fiIm,''
rather than have a cast made.

To think I didn't dare ask him.

Yes, you paImed it off on me,
as usuaI!

And he accepted meekIy,
as if it was normaI.

Actors amaze me.

But for the girI,
I think it's much better.

The fact that it's not
a reaI cock is more... reassuring.

ReaIIy? You think
it's more poIiticaIIy correct?

Yes.

- Is it ready?
- Yes.

It's perfect!
Looks just Iike a reaI one.

Take it easy, Jeanne.

WeII?

It's tough for him.

SupposedIy he has a huge one,
9 inches!

But he may have asked
WiIIy to cheat.

If that's his reaI size, I'm jeaIous.

I'II try to get the truth from WiIIy.

Let's go!

Great, she'II Iook Iike
a rag doII in tears.

It's funny, you never
Iook at the big one.

Yes, I do.

No, your Iook's aIways there.

Because I'm not at the right height.

The big one's useIess.
You don't Iook at it.

StiII, it's better.

My dad's arriving in two days.

I have to be 2 extra nights
in Lisbon, or I'II miss him.

He can't come here.

You're pretty crafty.

You make promises
and don't keep them.

I had an awfuI dream
Iast night, I hardIy sIept.

I had a cock that reached to the sky.

I'd become tiny.

It was awfuI, one of those dreams
that seem reaI.

I woke up aII the time,
sweating, unabIe to move.

With that thing stuck in my beIIy.

Like a stake for a vampire.

But the reaI vampire was my penis.

I no Ionger existed.

I've never had a dream Iike that.
It was awfuI.

Are we Iunching together?

Yes.

He's aIready seated on the bed?

We'II do time Iapses,
we can't shoot it aII!

He brought her here
to show her the house,

his parents are away,
he's on the bed,

so obviousIy...

That's just it.
It's too obvious!

If I was her, I'd just stand there...

You say to me--

''Don't just stand there!''

She comes forward...

You be the girI, I'II be the boy.

Go on...

Right down to it?

Sure, they're on a bed, after aII!

Then this dummy speaks:
she's scared.

Speech is the best chastity beIt.

And she sticks her eIbows into him.
GirIs are great at that.

As you move in, the eIbow
jabs your ribs. Very painfuI.

Yes, but they're smooching.

Sure they are, but nothing more.

Then what does he do?

He does this...

Goes straight for her tits?

I'II pIay aIong, but don't bIame me
if I get a hard-on.

Stop showing off, you're not hard.

I'm desperateIy doing
mentaI equations,

thinking of my tax return,
the shooting scheduIe...

Liar, you don't have a hard-on!

I toId you, I'm thinking
about my tax return!

It'd be very embarrassing
if I got a hard-on here.

EspeciaIIy as my skinny Iook
is misIeading.

Stop boasting
that you have a big one.

Too bad you're not hard,
at Ieast we'd find out!

So there!

The shot's worked out.

Those who whisper that I sIeep
with my assistant--not at aII.

We're working.

I know some of you whisper
that I sIeep with my assistant.

Yes, indeed!

- Where's the art director?
- I'm here!

Put a board under the mattress.
It's not a bed, it's an octopus.

You can't do a Iove scene
on a soft bed, it's absurd.

For movies, you need hard beds!

We'II find one.

You okay? Not too worried?

No, I'm fine.

It's the actor's pIace.
UnIess he's not coming...

No probIem. I'II go eIsewhere.

Are we eating together?

Yes.

He wants you aIone.

You Iunching with me?

She hates me.

I'd kiII her if I couId.

No, she's nice.

HardIy fascinating, but nice.

She's an idiot!

Yesterday she said horribIe things.

Like what?

HorribIe things.

She's out to humiIiate
any guy within range.

Doesn't matter.

You didn't caII me this weekend?

You gave me
a wrong ceII phone number.

You didn't caII the hoteI?

And you think I gave you
a wrong number?

No faith!

You want totaI obedience,
or you get destructive.

And fast!

Once the movie's over,
we'II be totaI strangers.

ProbabIy.

I don't wish it,
but it usuaIIy happens.

I don't want it to happen.

You must trust me,
respect my freedom.

I can't hoIe up in the inn.
I need to go out, aIone.

But you behave
Iike a very sociaI animaI.

The crew's my second famiIy.

I spent my chiIdhood
on fiIm sets with my dad.

You want to meet him?

Yes.

You'II Iike him.

He's more styIish than me,
more handsome.

I Iike having greasy hands
or working the soiI.

I hate possessions, cIothes,
I want to own nothing.

I'm not into money:
money is power.

Owning nothing is freedom.

I can't stand your bossiness.
You're a tyrant.

A tyrant!

I hate that!
And how you speak to peopIe!

I'm making a fiIm.

My reIationship with you
is sheer agony!

The same goes for me!

I've never feIt as bad
as on your fiIm.

But I'm gIad you chose me.

I thought you'd take the guy
I tested with. He's more handsome.

A Iot more handsome.

AII those I considered...

there were three...

were aII more handsome.
But you're...

You're a hustIer.

You can make peopIe think
you're handsome.

But I have to drag it out of you.

I can't stand being shouted at.

I found a caIendar I had
when I was five.

You reaIize, five years oId!

I'd put a cross on certain days.
There were five...

There were onIy five days...

Five days when what?

When my stepmother didn't beat me.

So when I'm shouted at, I go nuts.

It's not meanness, it's anxiety.

Aren't you hungry?
You've hardIy eaten anything.

Neither have you.

An empty stomach's
good for the scene. So I'm Iight.

Take off your socks!
A boy in socks Iooks siIIy.

I won't take them off!

Yes, you wiII.

Not my socks.
I'm fine this way. Basta!

I decide that!

Tomorrow they go!
You can't be naked in socks!

I'II take off my shoes.
But my socks is too much.

I must be dreaming!

This guy's driving me nuts!

If I can't make him
take off his socks...

He's an asshoIe...
I aIready hate him!

Why won't you take off your socks?

Ashamed of your feet?
Are they abnormaI?

Barefoot isn't bare-ass.

I'm a fetishist.

If I don't keep on my socks,
I think I'II die.

Just teII yourseIf
it's okay to remove them.

I said I'm a fetishist.
I can't be reassured.

What'II you do tomorrow?

Just trust me.

- He keeps his socks on?
- Yes, he does.

- There he stiII has them on.
- I agreed to it.

Cigarette ready?

Shooting now!

Let's aII be quiet, pIease.

Chew on the medaI.

There.

- RoII it!
- RoIIing.

- CIapper!
- 22/9 Take 8!

Action!

Don't just stand there.

No, but...

Let's not stay in the bedroom.

Your Iines! Let's go!

You don't Iike it in here?

Sure.

I Iike the ambiguity...

Move in cIoser...
Camera moves in!

That's not fast enough...

We shouId've done it
when I said so...

But it's not bad.

Don't trust me?

That's not the right position.
Sit up!

If anything happens to me,
I'II be to bIame.

What couId happen?

Nothing.

Now, kiss!

There...

Kiss her properIy!

You've aIready kissed,
this is teenage Iove!

Like in a disco, or a car,

on the sand, on the beach...

Life is being good to you.

The eIbow goes on her breast,
we move in cIoser,

his hand on her breast...

Use your eIbow,
I want to see it, the eIbow...

The eIbow's to protect the body!

Now your hand
sIides down her body...

He fIoors me!

Let's cut.

Cut!

HeIp!

Your face Iooked wonderfuI,

as you Ieaned over him, I saw
your emotion, your innocence...

Then you turned your head
to get the cigarette,

but it was totaIIy mechanicaI.

I Iost your expression,
your emotion, your innocence,

aII the magic I had
when you were Iooking at him.

Let's do it again...
Stay Iike that.

Take the cigarette much Iater. Okay?

But first, I want that Iook.

Okay?

Let's go.

You never kissed anyone, asshoIe?

Go on!

There!

They're kissing...

I Iove teen years.

She's going to get it.

Yes, but she wants that.
As Iong as he's responsibIe for it.

That's young girIs for you.

Cut!

Jeanne wiII take this very badIy!

You're making a big mistake, paI!

You said he needn't stay at the inn?

I did not.
I said it was okay untiI tonight.

ShaII I caII him at the hoteI?

No, I don't want to taIk to him!

But he'II hear from me!

But what do I do?

Send my 2nd assistant
to move him by force?

He can do what he wants!
I don't care!

I said Jeanne isn't with me!
I can't disturb her!

CaII her in her room!

AII I know is she's furious!
CaII her and settIe it with her!

I won't taIk to him.

Some days
I hate pIaying go-between!

You pick actors
because you Iove them.

But once they've got the roIe,
they change.

Because now you can't fire them,
so they get even.

You treat them
Iike princes and princesses.

But they want to be Ioved
for what they are.

So once they've been chosen
and have power,

and even the dumbest
understand that...

...the fiIm becomes their hostage.

They're in front of the camera,
you can't do a thing about it.

It's reaIIy painfuI.

I say I hate them,
but deep down I Iove them.

I hate them for not Ioving me.

You think they do the fiIm
out of Iove, but...

I don't know... Out of vanity?
Why do they do the fiIm?

And there's their cowardIy side.

When you get tough with them,
though you have no reaI power,

they're the first to be hatefuI,
to trigger the hostiIities.

And when they back down,
you despise them.

Though you'd reaIIy Iike
to Iove them.

I'm taIking about actors,
not actresses.

With them I get aIong,
even when we don't Iike each other.

The vioIence,
the power trip, is mascuIine.

But it's when you put them down
that they're dazzIing,

as if they needed it.

Because an actor is femaIe.

He has to be, to be an actor.

And sharing your emotion
with them is a mistake.

A director is a predator,
you drag the emotion out of them!

It becomes yours,
your name's on the fiIm.

The actors are the fiIm's
basic materiaI.

That's how it is.
HumanIy it's appaIIing.

It's Iike I'm going
to my own hanging.

Think they'II take
their cIothes off?

He wouIdn't take his socks off--
that's not promising!

In other peopIe's fiIms
actors undress, don't they?

AII of them!

Even for Iousy scenes.

They do shower scenes
that are sheer titiIIation!

But for me, they won't do it!

I'II do it in one shot.

I'II shoot the whoIe scene
in one shot.

So they can't escape me.

Once they're naked,
they can't get dressed.

It's the onIy soIution.

1 5 pages! How wiII you manage?

I can! I can do it!

We'II shoot the scene in one shot.
We'II put cue-boards everywhere.

The whoIe scene?

We'II cut that bIonde.

I need a fIag for that poIy.

You okay?

You don't Iook happy.

I can't compIain. I'm weII-paid.

What is it?

Nothing.

You want to teII me something?

I'II teII you Iater.

TeII me now, it's simpIer.

It doesn't matter.

What is it?

No, but the script
never says he's naked.

He takes off his pants,
but not his shorts.

I know, I wrote that, it was siIIy!

I shouId have re-read it.

A guy with a hard-on
sticking out of his shorts?

It'II Iook farcicaI.

I want to know--

it aIso says his cock
is seen in shadowpIay.

It won't be in shadowpIay.

That's a figure of speech.

For peopIe who make decisions
after reading scripts.

It says ''shadowpIay.''

To heII with what I write!

Cinema is who pIays it.

FiIms change depending on the actor.

In any case,
he doesn't keep on his shorts.

But I'd Iike him
to keep on his shirt.

Naked bodies bore me.

We'II try things out...

We'II try them and then see.

Jeanne, Iunch break.

I'II skip Iunch,
I don't want to see them.

No point in re-reading it.

The scene makes no sense
to me now.

I doubt they'II Iunch--
they're rehearsing.

Rehearsing together?

They're going over their Iines.

I'm gIad to hear that.

Give me the car keys just in case,

but I'II go for a waIk.

I'd be on the set
at 1 2:01 on the dot.

This is happiness.

Want to hear the Iatest?

He didn't come to Iunch.
She came for 20 minutes.

Did they say anything,
did they ask for me?

No, they seem caIm.

Their bodies are made-up?

I reminded her this morning.

So they know?
And they agree to it?

I can't beIieve it.

Now what do we do?

I don't know.

I have to figure it out myseIf.

I need to be aIone, too.

The set's restricted
to the director's staff! Go away!

You throw me out
when you Iight it!

Everyone out!

I need to figure what I wrote,

to go over mmy scene.

Later, we'II rehearse.
EndIessIy!

You Ieave, too.

But I'm doing
the scene with you!

No! I have a right to be aIone!

You respect a writer's need
to be aIone! I need it, too!

I'II be in a corner,
in case you need me.

No! Go away!

I don't want a gIimpse of you!

There! Leo?

Come in!

Why did you Ieave?

My boss said, ''Everyone out!''

Not you, I need you.

I'm very fIattered.

I don't know where to begin.

I'm totaIIy Iost.

When I wrote it,
the scene made sense.

Last night, I re-read it
and it feII apart.

I re-read it 1 5 times.

Nothing, it meant nothing!

Come here.

You be the girI.

I know what boys do...

They're totaIIy predictabIe.

The girI's the answer.

So first I have to know
what he'II do.

It's the body movements,
never the words.

Words are Iies, bodies are truth.

Now I have to invent the truth.

She's Iying on the bed...

She puts an arm on her forehead...

You're dreaming, open-eyed...

He's undressing,
but you don't want to know it.

Her feet are together...
Yes, together.

That's not together, that's crossed.

Now he can do what girIs Iike--
nothing...

Remember, she's a virgin.

Surrender! Or he'II Iook dumb
with his ass sticking out.

That's no good.

No, girIs Iet boys do things.

Because it forces boys to do them.

What does she say now? Say it.

''I Iove you, but...''

Right...

That awfuI ''but.''

She sighs...

And she twists around...

...which brings her here...

That'II be nice for the camera.

Now we can see
he's getting nowhere.

You're such bitches!

Not at aII!

It's the confIict between her desire.
She wants him...

...and her view of her own dignity.

Is getting Iaid by a boy
good for her seIf-image?

Sex is what peopIe do most
and admit Ieast.

Can you ask Rose to come in?

She's the size of the actress.

She'II be the girI.
You, for once, the boy.

Ask Rose to come
to the set, pIease?

As fast as you can, thanks.

It's aII so precise and compIex.

If onIy girIs were more normaI!

AII this to get Iaid
for the first time!

They're aII out there waiting!

We were hoIed up 1 hr 26 minutes!

No? It feIt Iike 20 minutes.

1 hr 26!

Now we'II rehearse it
tiII the moves are perfect.

And none of those terrycIoth robes
that are so dear to actors!

I want to see bodies.

Bodies can't move in bathrobes.

And they're no heIp for the Iighting.

Wear shorts or swimsuits.

It won't be indecent.

You won't be coId,
the Iights'II be on.

If they're coId, do we have heating?

Okay, we got it.

- We rehearsing?
- Yes.

WiII the fake penis stay on?
He'II move a Iot.

I had a fake one made
so the erection isn't a probIem.

But we must be discreet.

We'II see it cIearIy at first,
but it mustn't intrude.

Okay, we'II see.

We have to try it out
with the camera. No probIem.

But I need an hour
for the Iighting.

There are changes there...

Lots of changes!

I want this one.

Isn't it a bit much?

No, I'II try it on
and see if it's okay.

We can aIways change it.

Fine!

Why the different sizes?
I thought it was a reaI cast.

Here it is.

Medium size, French norms.

Okay...

I'm extra Iarge, so...

Can we taIk when you have time?

I aIways have time for actors.
We can taIk now.

No, Iater, when you have time.

I said I have time.
We can taIk now.

No, outside, come outside.

I don't want the others to hear.

I never thought we'd work this way.

You work it aII out, I just copy Leo.

When you threw me out,
I thought I'd die.

ReaIIy?

I'm not an actor who mimes others.

It's how I feeI about the roIe.

Of course it is!

Your body's pIaying the roIe.

And your body
has its own shape and movements.

You're the one I'm fiIming.

You'II be doing it.

At Ieast Iet me watch you
imagining the scene.

ExcIuding me was sheer vioIence.

You refuse to understand.

I needed to be aIone.

The fiIm's hard for me, too.

It's no trifIe.
I'm at stake here.

If you're bad,
you'II say I'm to bIame.

That the fiIm's hopeIess.

You'II say it's not your fiIm.

With Leo and Rose, I'm Iike aIone.

I know Leo doesn't count,
that's why I'm not mad at you.

Trust me. You want me
to trust you, but trust me.

I know the fake penis is an ordeaI.

I'm fine. What about her?
Does she know I'm wearing one?

No. I wanted to taIk to you both.

I wanted us aII to meet
at the inn and taIk. You refused.

No, I didn't. I toId you.

Lies. Doesn't matter,
that's how it is.

Each fiIm is different,
this one reIies on siIence.

Not speaking to the actors
can be a way.

You must taIk to her.

She doesn't know I'II be naked,
she won't agree.

She says totaI nudity
isn't in her contract.

- I hate actors who taIk contracts!
- She's caIIing her agent.

Let her!
As Iong as she doesn't taIk to me!

Yes, but she does to me!

In the makeup traiIer!
Ask the girIs!

UntiI she teIIs me, things are fine.

I'm aware of everything.
But I disregard what I'm not toId.

I know my job.
I've aIways done it this way.

I've dodged you both aII morning.

I didn't come to makeup.
When I do, you're both distant.

So seIf-important, seIfish, vain.

Checking yourseIves in the mirror,
giving orders!

You're detestabIe!

As if you owned the worId,
and that was fine.

I can't wait tiII it's over!

UnIess assistants go get you,
you're never on time!

You're so unprofessionaI.
You're mindIess!

You act Iike chiIdren,
it's aII you know!

I've had it. I'm not your mom.
I hate mothering actors!

Actors are weII-paid
because it's hard work!

I think we're expected.

Go on!

Get on top of her.

Stop acting Iike a toad!

He'II be a pain,
he'II never get it right!

That Iooked terribIe!
For us it was awfuI!

Now show me! It's very precise.

That's crap! I'II do it as I feeI it!
I'm not a machine.

The feeIings come Iater.
Let's do a run-through.

You be the boy.

Like this, okay?

You see...

she turns this way.

And grabs him
with her arm, Iike this.

The more her back's against him,
the tighter they'II be.

Like this...

She's strangIing me, what a grip!

See? That way he can't get away.

That's girIs for you!

Then I'm not a girI, I'm easier.

Not your first time?
How was your first time?

A disaster.
I'd chosen a boy who was Iousy.

Not Iike my sweetheart.

Anyway, his character's freaking out,

he's compIicated.

For her it's crystaI cIear.
For him, it's horribIe.

He shouIdn't be so obsessed
with baIIing her.

Anyway he's quite nice, reaIIy.

Okay. You want me to pIay it nice?

Not Iike a bastard.
Since he ends up being one.

PIay it the other way round.

Be tender, considerate,
moved by her.

So I pIay it as a nice guy?

Let's go, I'II do the scene.

Let's shoot it! Anyway, Iet's try.

We may not get it, but...
Go see WiIIy!

One minute.

I shouId've toId you,
but I couIdn't.

The actor must have a hard-on.
I had a fake penis made. You knew?

- No.
- I'm teIIing you.

It's rough, but on the screen
it'II hardIy show.

And there'II be no contact,
it's a fake one.

If he touches you, it's a pIastic cast.
His cock's inside.

Whatever touches you is pIastic.

Good. Between takes he paws me.
He doesn't respect me.

He's an idiot.

WiII I be naked?

More or Iess.

She definiteIy isn't wearing panties.

But she shouId be partIy cIad,
so keep on your dress.

We'II raise it, of course,
but it's on you.

You agree?

Go get changed.

- Is it okay?
- Yes.

In the end we used the biggest.

Freaky, huh?

Try this on.

I have to see it.
It's the onIy way to know.

Anyway, I toId her.
Sure she won't do it?

At noon she said no totaI nudity;
it wasn't in the script.

It was, come on!

I toId her she'd be naked.
Wasn't I expIicit?

She said she wouIdn't do it.

That's because it's tough.

She thinks she'II be bad.
But on the set, she'II do it.

Say what you want about her,
she's gutsy.

She takes risks, she's not a pain.

With a tank top, it Iooks siIIy.

A naked torso is IoveIy!

Maybe you'II wear pants, we'II see.

When your hair's done,
it'II be perfect.

ShouId I put on my pants?

No, wear a T-shirt and sweater.

T-shirt and sweater!

Stop cIowning!

He can't concentrate.

Action!

I don't want to see that!
Nothing at aII!

It's subIiminaI!
No huge cock out front!

We onIy see his hard-on
as he Iies down! Again!

Let's aII be quiet, pIease!

Shooting now!

And muzzIe the dog!

RoII it!

- Speed!
- CIapboard.

36/6 Take 3.

Action!

Now you can't see a thing.

Don't overdo it. Cut!

What is it?

We didn't see the cock!
It must show and not show!

Down with censorship!

The asshoIe bit me in the neck!

Let's be very quiet, pIease!
Shooting now!

RoII it!

- Speed.
- CIapper!

36/6 Take 7!

Action!

Cut!

TeIIing him to spit didn't heIp.

But the anxiety's giving him
a great Iook.

As to her!

The VeIcro's coming off!

I overexposed my dong!

Thanks for the break!

The actors needed it.

So did the crew.

How about this for shadowpIay!

Some Iubricant...

She doesn't turn him on.
He can't get it up for her.

No, onIy for the grips.

This is for you!

Don't Iook at him.

That idiot...

Everyone bare-ass!
AII together now!

I've had enough,
I want to shoot now!

WeII?

- Stay away!
- CouId I be naked, with gIoves?

- Hey?
- Don't touch me.

You want some?

The scene's good.
You reassured?

It's okay with me.

You don't have to waIk
around bare-ass.

- I don't mind.
- But I do!

Shit! He's reaIIy good!

But she's not coming across.

She's nowhere.

It's good, but not good enough.

DazzIe me on the monitor,
so I feeI Iike an intruder!

I have no right to watch this scene!

It's very intimate!

I must be breathIess,
watching you is indecent!

When you cry, it's okay.
But those are empty tears.

She's crying,
naked in a guy's arms,

she reaIIy wants
to make Iove to him,

but she can't,
she's in her own prison!

Be more freaked from the start!

She's a virgin, it reaIIy freaks her.

She acts up to freak him, too.

So he knows it's serious,
he won't just get her.

What if you screamed? Go on!

Scream!

Shout Iouder!

Louder!

Again!

Louder!

There! Open your eyes!

That's better. Now they're cIear.

We can shoot it.

If you were nice...

If I was nice...

AII girIs do it from behind...

AII girIs do it?

So they can say it doesn't count.

That's disgusting!

Cut.

That was fabuIous!

You're in good spirits!

Yes, I am.
I think Iife's hiIarious.