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1
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_
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Moira, I'm sorry
I couldn't be more available
3
00:00:03,527 --> 00:00:05,567
for you today, it's just
that my sister was supposed
4
00:00:05,591 --> 00:00:06,992
to organize this with me,
5
00:00:07,017 --> 00:00:09,018
and her husband has come down
with gout for the third time.
6
00:00:09,021 --> 00:00:10,596
But I still think this
is gonna be the best
7
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- Asbestos Fest yet!
- You know,
8
00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:15,002
I know all about being left
in the lurch for a fundraiser.
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00:00:15,026 --> 00:00:17,426
Eva Longoria and I
were supposed to perform
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00:00:17,428 --> 00:00:20,797
our ventriloquist act for
the "Everybody Nose" benefit
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00:00:20,864 --> 00:00:22,498
for juvenile rhinoplasty,
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00:00:22,501 --> 00:00:25,846
when she suddenly drops
out due to exhaustion.
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I had to be both puppet, and puppeteer.
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Okay, you know what, Moira?
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00:00:30,207 --> 00:00:31,807
There's just a lot going on right now.
16
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I've got a list of
three different numbers
17
00:00:33,710 --> 00:00:35,011
that you're choosing from,
18
00:00:35,079 --> 00:00:36,723
and what would really
be helpful to everyone,
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00:00:36,747 --> 00:00:38,180
and when I say everyone, I mean me,
20
00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:40,350
is if you could just nail down which one
21
00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:41,756
you're gonna perform tonight.
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I did get the set list from the
children's choir two weeks ago.
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I... the easiest to go with is probably
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"Shoes, Glorious Shoes,
the Imelda Marcos Story."
25
00:00:52,811 --> 00:00:54,564
- Okay.
- Never mind.
26
00:00:54,631 --> 00:00:58,368
I am going to dust off...
"Two Heads are Better".
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The one woman Siamese twin play.
28
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Yes-no!
29
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No, you know what?
30
00:01:04,134 --> 00:01:05,819
I am going to resurrect...
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"One Crazy Summer, The
Patty Hearst Story."
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It's a tale of perseverance,
much like your quest
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to bring asbestos back to the town.
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Okay, well first of all,
we're trying to get rid
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of the asbestos, Moira,
36
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and we really just need
you to make a decision, now.
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- Okay!
- Now!
38
00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:24,894
Well, let me think!
Uh... "Two Heads" it is.
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The Foxwood Casino Gazette did say
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it was a performance
they'd never seen before.
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00:01:29,835 --> 00:01:31,801
- Don't write that down.
- Okay Moira,
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00:01:31,870 --> 00:01:34,137
I just wanna slap you
right across the face.
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00:01:34,204 --> 00:01:36,084
Patty it is! Patty.
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Although Jocelyn, I'm wondering,
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does "TV's Moira Rose"
send a different message
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00:01:44,936 --> 00:01:47,545
than "television's Moira Rose?"
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Something to think about?
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I said, something to think about!
49
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Hello, you.
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00:02:00,131 --> 00:02:04,334
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
51
00:02:09,841 --> 00:02:12,275
- Oh hi, David.
- Hi.
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I believe you said I could
have your room for the day,
53
00:02:14,344 --> 00:02:16,805
to rehearse my act for the fundraiser.
54
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,718
Oh, you meant like, like right now?
55
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Okay. Um... what did you decide on?
56
00:02:23,155 --> 00:02:26,122
Well, at this very moment it's 1974,
57
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and this room is a San Franciscan bank.
58
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,193
You're going with the
Patty Hearst story?
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00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:32,514
Yes, I am.
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00:02:33,965 --> 00:02:35,098
And what's wrong with that?
61
00:02:35,165 --> 00:02:37,332
Well, didn't it have
an ensemble cast of 30?
62
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:39,536
Uh huh, and what was
your father's review?
63
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29 dead weights!
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So I trimmed the fat.
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You didn't even play Patty, though.
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00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:46,742
You know I did!
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00:02:46,811 --> 00:02:50,379
The night Patricia Lupone
ate that pre-show shwarma,
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00:02:50,448 --> 00:02:52,355
and I was asked to step in.
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00:02:52,997 --> 00:02:55,057
I've always wanted to reprise the role!
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00:02:55,082 --> 00:02:57,721
I just recall that that show
was very heavy on the footwork
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and at one point you yelled, "Line!"
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in the middle of a dance break.
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00:03:01,393 --> 00:03:03,293
Okay, some of these townspeople
74
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,861
are going to experience
my triad of threats
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00:03:05,931 --> 00:03:07,530
for the first time, David.
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00:03:07,532 --> 00:03:10,706
Nothing less than
spectacular can do for them!
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00:03:10,731 --> 00:03:14,112
Okay. I just remember
you practicing every day
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00:03:14,138 --> 00:03:15,705
for seven months with
that dance instructor
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that I ended up dating.
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Are you sure you remember it all?
81
00:03:20,745 --> 00:03:23,413
Skip Fosse once told me
that when it comes to choreo,
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00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,038
always leave some room for spontaneity.
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00:03:26,818 --> 00:03:29,051
- Okay.
- Okay, you know what?
84
00:03:29,054 --> 00:03:30,453
If you feel it's necessary, fine,
85
00:03:30,521 --> 00:03:32,066
I won't stand in the
way of you spotting.
86
00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:34,223
Well unfortunately,
I can't spot you now,
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00:03:34,292 --> 00:03:35,658
because now I have to go to work.
88
00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:39,027
- Oh, then go to work!
- Okay. Good luck.
89
00:03:39,031 --> 00:03:40,462
No, you say, "break a leg."
90
00:03:40,531 --> 00:03:42,331
- Okay, that, too.
- Say "break a leg!"
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00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,719
Break a leg!
92
00:03:45,828 --> 00:03:47,828
Okay, here. Ahem! We're
going to ease in...
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00:03:49,039 --> 00:03:50,694
with a machine gun ballet.
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00:03:57,783 --> 00:03:58,981
- Hi, sorry.
- Hey! This guy!
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- Excuse me, hey. - Hey, yeah.
- What's up. Yeah...
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00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,054
And we mark up the retail price.
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00:04:04,122 --> 00:04:06,188
- Okay.
- What are you doing here?
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00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,134
Patrick has offered to help
me with this school assignment
99
00:04:08,158 --> 00:04:10,592
- I told you that, David.
- Hey.
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00:04:10,661 --> 00:04:12,194
Um, you did not tell me that.
101
00:04:12,263 --> 00:04:14,216
Yeah, how are your
friends doing outside?
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- They're harmless, thanks.
- Are they? Cool.
103
00:04:16,733 --> 00:04:18,266
Um, we're actually just
in the middle of something,
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- so if you wouldn't mind...
- I would mind, but...
105
00:04:20,639 --> 00:04:23,538
- Okay, so, profit margins.
- Mhmm?
106
00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:25,774
Um, how do you get more of those?
107
00:04:25,776 --> 00:04:28,459
Well, you'd start by
telling the group of teens
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that hang out outside
your store every afternoon
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00:04:30,415 --> 00:04:33,000
to leave because they're
scaring off actual customers.
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00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:36,593
Okay, they're not scaring off customers,
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00:04:36,617 --> 00:04:39,055
there was one that looked meth-y.
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And I don't know where he went.
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See, your brother doesn't
wanna tell them off.
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Which is, and you can write this down,
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- a financial liability.
- Liability.
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Incorrect! The fact that we have youths
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minding their own business
in front of our store
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builds, and you can write this down...
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- No.
- Street cred.
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Okay, are they actually buying anything?
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Yes! They're coming in,
and they're buying gum.
122
00:05:04,315 --> 00:05:06,173
And what else are they doing, David?
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00:05:06,851 --> 00:05:09,853
They're coming in,
they're looking around,
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and they're buying gum.
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And maybe complimenting my outfits.
126
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- There it is!
- No, there what is?
127
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I'm sorry that you connect
with a more mature clientele,
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whereas I vibe with
a much younger crowd.
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00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,269
Oh.
130
00:05:27,605 --> 00:05:31,250
- Nice sweater, bro!
- Um... God, I...
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This is so old, and I can't
even remember where I got it.
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00:05:33,879 --> 00:05:37,050
Do you guys remember-sorry,
where I got this sweater?
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00:05:38,016 --> 00:05:39,749
- What just happened to you?
- Huh?
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00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,519
Like, breathe it out.
135
00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:45,187
Hey there, Johnny!
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Just so you know, I'm
obviously a beer guy,
137
00:05:47,826 --> 00:05:50,382
but I've never been known to turn down
138
00:05:50,408 --> 00:05:52,360
a fresh bouquet of flowers...
139
00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:54,129
Roland, what are you talking about?
140
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Well, you are gonna be
thanking me pretty soon
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00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:58,266
for saving your bacon, so I just thought
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- I'd give you some gift ideas.
- I'm kinda busy right now.
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00:06:01,838 --> 00:06:04,706
Yeah, I can see that.
Very busy, right, Johnny?
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Apparently too busy to change the bulb
145
00:06:07,374 --> 00:06:09,144
that's burned out over room three.
146
00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:11,480
Roland, I fail to see how
pointing out problems here
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is saving my bacon.
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00:06:13,617 --> 00:06:15,218
I know a guy who needs some work,
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and I told him I'd do him a favour,
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and get him a job right
here in the motel, so...
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Uh huh. And why does it
sound like I'd be the one
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doing your friend the favour?
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00:06:23,661 --> 00:06:24,838
Well Johnny, I'm the middle man,
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I'm the one that kind
of made this all happen.
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Well, nothing's happened,
so you can tell your friend
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we can't afford him.
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00:06:32,569 --> 00:06:35,403
You know, when I started
Rose Video we had one employee
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per store working start to close,
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so keeping an eye on the bottom line,
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that's how a young business grows.
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00:06:41,745 --> 00:06:43,213
- Uh huh...
- Besides,
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00:06:43,281 --> 00:06:45,648
Stevie and I are managing
just fine on our own.
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00:06:45,716 --> 00:06:47,983
All I'm saying is keep
an open mind, okay?
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It might be nice to
have a guy around here
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who has some basic skills for a change.
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00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:56,490
And I'm sorry, but we all
know how Rose Video turned out!
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00:06:56,927 --> 00:06:59,629
You know, Rose Video was the
second largest video chain in-
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Oohhh!
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00:07:01,432 --> 00:07:03,771
Did you ask him why he's been
wandering around with a notepad,
170
00:07:03,795 --> 00:07:05,334
it's really starting
to creep out the guests.
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00:07:05,403 --> 00:07:07,213
Yeah, he's pitching a
guy he knows to help out
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00:07:07,237 --> 00:07:08,937
around the motel, but don't worry,
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I told him that we're a well
oiled machine at this point.
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00:07:12,776 --> 00:07:14,843
Yeah, that I've been greasing.
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00:07:15,245 --> 00:07:17,814
Your new policy about helping
the guests with the bags...
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00:07:17,882 --> 00:07:19,826
Yeah, and you know, we're
getting very good feedback
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00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:21,550
about that on the comment cards.
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00:07:21,619 --> 00:07:23,451
But I've been the one carrying them,
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00:07:23,521 --> 00:07:25,788
because "somebody" has a bad back.
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00:07:25,855 --> 00:07:28,137
Well Stevie, if I lift a roll
of toilet paper, you know,
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it... flares up.
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00:07:30,127 --> 00:07:31,370
Okay well, I'm starting to look like
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00:07:31,394 --> 00:07:34,795
a Slovakian shot putter,
so I'm with Roland.
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00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,487
We're gonna be hiring someone else.
185
00:07:43,341 --> 00:07:44,483
Thanks, bro.
186
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,191
Come back again soon, guys.
187
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,146
Great sale, bro.
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00:07:50,215 --> 00:07:52,648
Four teens, one pack of
gum, which you gift wrapped.
189
00:07:52,716 --> 00:07:54,483
Hey, why don't we just
close the store up,
190
00:07:54,552 --> 00:07:56,485
and celebrate for the rest of the day?
191
00:07:56,487 --> 00:07:58,860
I'll have you know that
it was one pack of gum,
192
00:07:58,886 --> 00:08:00,855
- and one lip balm.
- Oh!
193
00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:02,783
Well, that'll make up for all the stuff
194
00:08:02,807 --> 00:08:04,487
they've been stealing.
195
00:08:04,795 --> 00:08:06,795
- I'm sorry?
- What do you mean, stealing?
196
00:08:06,863 --> 00:08:09,718
Those kids are one hundred
percent stealing from you.
197
00:08:10,268 --> 00:08:11,634
I don't think so.
198
00:08:11,701 --> 00:08:14,737
Okay. They split up into
four different directions,
199
00:08:14,738 --> 00:08:17,807
one takes the back left
corner, one takes the right,
200
00:08:17,875 --> 00:08:20,343
one of them asks you if
you have those wool hoodies
201
00:08:20,411 --> 00:08:21,744
in a different size,
202
00:08:21,812 --> 00:08:24,379
while the last one compliments
you on your cuticle game.
203
00:08:24,449 --> 00:08:26,115
And while you're lapping all that up,
204
00:08:26,184 --> 00:08:27,884
the two in the back corner
are filling their backpacks
205
00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:29,750
full of facial cleanser.
206
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:32,740
It's the exact same move that
I used with my klepto friends
207
00:08:32,789 --> 00:08:34,389
in the Hamptons.
208
00:08:34,457 --> 00:08:36,024
I-I feel like I would've sent that.
209
00:08:36,092 --> 00:08:38,038
Yeah, I mean, maybe that's
what you and your burnout
210
00:08:38,062 --> 00:08:40,350
friends did at the Miss Sixty store,
211
00:08:40,375 --> 00:08:42,030
but that's not what's happening here.
212
00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:45,467
Okay. Why don't you go check, then?
213
00:08:54,611 --> 00:08:56,115
I can't tell if there's product missing,
214
00:08:56,140 --> 00:08:58,040
or if we just haven't replenished.
215
00:08:58,213 --> 00:08:59,826
I feel like if someone
were robbing our store
216
00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:03,385
- we would know about it, right?
- Uh yeah, we would know.
217
00:09:03,453 --> 00:09:05,921
Though this would
explain the compliments.
218
00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:07,188
- That's...
- What?
219
00:09:07,258 --> 00:09:09,581
Give it an hour, they'll be back.
220
00:09:09,605 --> 00:09:11,527
They only took the
toner and the cleanser,
221
00:09:11,528 --> 00:09:13,139
and if they're not selling
it on the black market,
222
00:09:13,163 --> 00:09:14,764
then they'll need to come
back and get the moisturizer,
223
00:09:14,765 --> 00:09:16,730
or their t-zones are going to be like,
224
00:09:17,038 --> 00:09:18,938
super effed!
225
00:09:22,297 --> 00:09:23,972
Johnny, I gotta say, uh,
226
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,640
I'm glad you came around to your senses,
227
00:09:25,644 --> 00:09:26,842
and may I tell you something,
228
00:09:26,911 --> 00:09:29,052
I don't feel like you're less of a man
229
00:09:29,077 --> 00:09:30,624
because you need a little
help with your business.
230
00:09:30,648 --> 00:09:32,148
Yeah, that's good to know, Roland.
231
00:09:32,216 --> 00:09:33,783
So where's the guy?
232
00:09:33,784 --> 00:09:36,251
Oh he'll be here, don't you worry.
233
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,398
Mr. Worry!
234
00:09:39,423 --> 00:09:41,100
And I think you're
really going to like him,
235
00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:44,691
he's very smart, he's
devilishly handsome,
236
00:09:44,716 --> 00:09:46,629
and he stands about yay tall,
237
00:09:47,063 --> 00:09:48,563
maybe a little bit more like that.
238
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,566
Okay, I see where this is going.
239
00:09:50,634 --> 00:09:53,135
- Or do you?
- Roland, what are we doing here?
240
00:09:53,203 --> 00:09:56,081
Johnny, it's me! I'm the guy!
241
00:09:56,106 --> 00:09:57,340
I know you're the guy,
242
00:09:57,408 --> 00:09:59,575
I got that as soon as
I said where's the guy?
243
00:09:59,643 --> 00:10:01,943
Oh my god, you should
see the look on your face!
244
00:10:02,013 --> 00:10:04,279
Impatience, that's the look!
245
00:10:04,349 --> 00:10:07,383
All right, we do need help at
the motel, we do need someone,
246
00:10:07,451 --> 00:10:08,861
but someone who is going to pitch in,
247
00:10:08,885 --> 00:10:10,285
and do some of the grunt work.
248
00:10:10,354 --> 00:10:12,355
And I am willing to roll up my sleeves,
249
00:10:12,423 --> 00:10:14,389
and help out my best friend!
250
00:10:14,457 --> 00:10:15,758
Okay, I gotta go.
251
00:10:15,826 --> 00:10:17,360
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no, no, no!
252
00:10:17,427 --> 00:10:19,570
Now I wasn't joking
about my skills, pal!
253
00:10:19,595 --> 00:10:21,163
Come on, what do you
say we give it a shot?
254
00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:22,743
- I don't think so, no.
- Huh? Going once.
255
00:10:22,767 --> 00:10:23,698
- Going twice.
- No.
256
00:10:23,701 --> 00:10:24,945
- Going 3 times.
- Roland! All right.
257
00:10:24,969 --> 00:10:26,235
Going 4 times. Going 5 times...
258
00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:30,005
All right, all right, all
right. All right. Fine.
259
00:10:30,073 --> 00:10:33,211
But only because we could
actually use some help.
260
00:10:33,443 --> 00:10:36,645
- That's a smart move, Johnny.
- But consider this a trial.
261
00:10:36,713 --> 00:10:37,857
Yeah, that's probably a good idea,
262
00:10:37,881 --> 00:10:40,082
I don't wanna commit
until I know I like it.
263
00:10:46,957 --> 00:10:49,725
Stick 'em up. It's a hold up.
264
00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:53,740
♪ Nobody move
but me-me-me-me! ♪
265
00:10:54,599 --> 00:10:56,399
♪ But me! ♪
266
00:10:56,466 --> 00:10:58,433
♪ Who goes there? ♪
267
00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:01,336
- It's Jocelyn.
- Oh!
268
00:11:01,339 --> 00:11:03,038
Good news, Moira, don't ask me why,
269
00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:05,541
but Gwen had a hunting
rifle in her basement,
270
00:11:05,609 --> 00:11:07,388
and I'm hoping this
is good for your act!
271
00:11:07,812 --> 00:11:10,708
Um, it was a machine gun.
272
00:11:11,182 --> 00:11:15,216
So I need a machine gun
for the machine gun ballet!
273
00:11:15,285 --> 00:11:17,163
Okay Moira, you've got
to meet me halfway here,
274
00:11:17,187 --> 00:11:20,288
- this is a real gun!
- What?
275
00:11:20,356 --> 00:11:22,357
And I got you extra performance time,
276
00:11:22,427 --> 00:11:25,461
I got the children's
choir down to one song!
277
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,630
Some of the kids cried. Oh, Jocelyn.
278
00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:30,932
Jocelyn, why? Why, why,
why, would you do that?
279
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,134
Because you asked for more time, Moira!
280
00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:35,327
But... Jocelyn!
281
00:11:36,606 --> 00:11:38,573
Did you know that rehearsal,
282
00:11:38,643 --> 00:11:40,609
it can be the most enlightening
283
00:11:40,677 --> 00:11:42,913
and even heuristic exercise.
284
00:11:43,346 --> 00:11:44,758
What are you saying?
285
00:11:45,783 --> 00:11:49,493
I'm saying I am stepping out
of the limelight, Jocelyn.
286
00:11:50,288 --> 00:11:52,587
But we already re-printed the posters
287
00:11:52,655 --> 00:11:56,591
from "TV's Moira Rose," to
"Television's Moira Rose!"
288
00:11:56,661 --> 00:11:58,661
And that's great, that
will get them in the door
289
00:11:58,729 --> 00:12:00,863
and then the kids take over from there!
290
00:12:00,865 --> 00:12:03,032
- That's...
- Okay.
291
00:12:04,096 --> 00:12:06,118
I see what's going on here.
292
00:12:06,937 --> 00:12:09,672
- Somebody's got cold feet.
- Ha ha.
293
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:12,207
Blocks of ice. Mhmm.
294
00:12:12,283 --> 00:12:13,883
I bit off more than I could chew.
295
00:12:13,943 --> 00:12:17,480
You know what, Moira,
we have all been there.
296
00:12:17,481 --> 00:12:20,081
Yeah. On my wedding day, I thought,
297
00:12:20,083 --> 00:12:22,784
what if I just got in my
car and drove to New Mexico,
298
00:12:22,852 --> 00:12:25,879
and left Roland at the altar
at the Elmdale Bingo Hall?
299
00:12:26,256 --> 00:12:28,389
Bottom line, I got cold feet too,
300
00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:31,226
and I faced my fears,
and now look at us!
301
00:12:31,294 --> 00:12:32,981
27 years of bliss.
302
00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:36,631
Was I to perceive something
encouraging within that...
303
00:12:36,634 --> 00:12:38,067
little anecdote?
304
00:12:39,203 --> 00:12:42,013
Okay, you know what,
Moira, pull it together.
305
00:12:42,373 --> 00:12:44,206
I'm taking this gun.
306
00:12:46,876 --> 00:12:49,278
Okay, Patty, come on, Patty!
307
00:12:49,357 --> 00:12:52,585
Patty, the eyes of the
lonely world are on you!
308
00:12:54,652 --> 00:12:57,318
So, five, six, seven, eight, Patty!
309
00:12:59,557 --> 00:13:01,423
Five, six, seven, eight!
310
00:13:03,126 --> 00:13:05,094
Nine, ten-nine...
311
00:13:05,162 --> 00:13:06,995
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve!
312
00:13:07,063 --> 00:13:09,567
♪♪♪
313
00:13:11,836 --> 00:13:14,769
Like clockwork, David.
314
00:13:15,972 --> 00:13:18,006
- Hey!
- Yeah.
315
00:13:18,075 --> 00:13:21,076
Hey! Can I help you guys
with anything, or... ?
316
00:13:21,144 --> 00:13:22,559
No, we're just looking.
317
00:13:23,179 --> 00:13:25,213
Okay, cool. Cool, cool, yeah, yeah.
318
00:13:25,216 --> 00:13:28,460
Look around. You do you.
319
00:13:28,485 --> 00:13:31,086
Uh, hey, do you have this in like,
320
00:13:31,154 --> 00:13:32,788
a larger size, maybe?
321
00:13:32,789 --> 00:13:34,623
I don't know, I'll
have to go all the way
322
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,380
into the back to check.
323
00:13:40,364 --> 00:13:42,264
Hey, man!
324
00:13:42,332 --> 00:13:43,665
I like your shoes, where'd you get them?
325
00:13:43,668 --> 00:13:46,467
- Oh! Oh...
- Oh! Um, these?
326
00:13:46,537 --> 00:13:48,836
I got these at a boutique in Prague
327
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,383
that's only open on Sunday nights.
328
00:13:51,408 --> 00:13:53,042
- Cool.
- Is it?
329
00:13:53,043 --> 00:13:56,044
Uh hey, I think we're gonna head.
330
00:13:56,113 --> 00:13:59,864
Oh, um wait, but-you
forgot something, though.
331
00:14:01,245 --> 00:14:03,013
What?!
332
00:14:03,254 --> 00:14:04,397
Look, please don't do anything crazy,
333
00:14:04,421 --> 00:14:05,955
it took me so long to make that.
334
00:14:06,023 --> 00:14:07,722
Well, I'll be happy to give it back,
335
00:14:07,791 --> 00:14:09,958
when you and your skid
mark friends give back
336
00:14:10,027 --> 00:14:11,726
all of the products that you've stolen.
337
00:14:11,794 --> 00:14:12,995
And if I'm being honest,
338
00:14:13,062 --> 00:14:14,763
someone with your combination of skin
339
00:14:14,831 --> 00:14:16,999
should really be using product
with tea tree oil in it.
340
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,225
I...
341
00:14:22,072 --> 00:14:23,672
Hand it over.
342
00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:25,407
I thought she was too cool to work here.
343
00:14:25,475 --> 00:14:28,701
I don't work here, and
I am really cool, so.
344
00:14:29,145 --> 00:14:31,147
Don't do it again, and
I won't call the Po Po.
345
00:14:31,215 --> 00:14:34,015
- Did she say Po Po?
- Okay! Okay!
346
00:14:34,085 --> 00:14:35,317
I think we're done here.
347
00:14:35,385 --> 00:14:36,885
Okay, I just have one more question.
348
00:14:36,953 --> 00:14:39,955
All those compliments, and fist pumps...
349
00:14:40,024 --> 00:14:41,456
- Bumps.
- Shut up.
350
00:14:41,459 --> 00:14:43,692
Was that just part of the big scheme?
351
00:14:43,695 --> 00:14:46,562
- No, you have cool style.
- I like your shoes.
352
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:48,802
They're lying to you, David,
they're lying, they're lying.
353
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,466
Okay, get out.
354
00:14:51,534 --> 00:14:54,235
Right, so...
355
00:14:57,557 --> 00:14:59,774
- Ugh...
- What? Why me?
356
00:14:59,777 --> 00:15:01,899
- I just feel really gross.
- Why did I get one?
357
00:15:03,681 --> 00:15:05,847
Okay, so there's window
repair in room four.
358
00:15:05,916 --> 00:15:07,249
Mhmm...
359
00:15:07,317 --> 00:15:09,361
And then the bathroom in
room 5 still needs to be done.
360
00:15:09,385 --> 00:15:10,985
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
361
00:15:11,054 --> 00:15:13,956
- Can you handle that?
- No, I am just waiting to hear
362
00:15:14,024 --> 00:15:16,625
something that's in my wheelhouse.
363
00:15:16,693 --> 00:15:20,663
Okay uh, why don't you just
start by changing the sheets?
364
00:15:20,664 --> 00:15:23,331
Honey, that kinda sounds
like a Johnny job to me.
365
00:15:23,399 --> 00:15:26,034
Why don't we just put
a "J" next to that.
366
00:15:26,037 --> 00:15:28,937
No, no, no! We're putting
an "R" next to that,
367
00:15:29,005 --> 00:15:33,177
Roland, I thought you said you
had no problem doing grunt work.
368
00:15:33,202 --> 00:15:34,888
Well Johnny, how's it going
to look to have the mayor
369
00:15:34,912 --> 00:15:37,023
of the town changing sheets?
370
00:15:37,381 --> 00:15:39,648
Uh, we change sheets!
371
00:15:39,650 --> 00:15:41,193
Well great, so then,
you've got it covered,
372
00:15:41,217 --> 00:15:42,761
let's put a big, fat
"J" next to that one.
373
00:15:42,786 --> 00:15:45,821
No, no, we're not putting
a "J," we're putting an "R!"
374
00:15:45,889 --> 00:15:48,590
Or better yet, Roland,
why not just get to work?
375
00:15:48,658 --> 00:15:50,178
This isn't exactly what I had in mind
376
00:15:50,226 --> 00:15:53,629
- when I said I needed help.
- Yeah, I know.
377
00:15:53,697 --> 00:15:56,032
No, guys, look, I just
need to find something
378
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,700
that caters to my expertise.
379
00:15:57,768 --> 00:15:59,235
That's all, you know what I can do?
380
00:15:59,302 --> 00:16:01,102
I can restock the soda machine.
381
00:16:01,172 --> 00:16:02,937
Yeah, the soda machines
are fine, Roland.
382
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:06,041
What would actually help is if
you could clean a toilet or two,
383
00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:08,538
but obviously, you're too good for that.
384
00:16:08,562 --> 00:16:10,645
- No, I can clean a toilet.
- You know what,
385
00:16:10,715 --> 00:16:12,181
- I think we made a mistake, Stevie.
- Mhmm.
386
00:16:12,182 --> 00:16:14,450
- No! I wanna clean a toilet.
- We'll hire somebody else.
387
00:16:14,518 --> 00:16:16,500
No, I need to clean a toilet!
388
00:16:18,221 --> 00:16:20,188
You need to clean a toilet?
389
00:16:20,256 --> 00:16:22,191
Yeah, I need to Johnny,
390
00:16:22,259 --> 00:16:25,394
I... I mean, with the new baby coming,
391
00:16:25,395 --> 00:16:26,928
things are a little tight.
392
00:16:26,931 --> 00:16:28,629
Joc and I have been trying to save,
393
00:16:28,698 --> 00:16:31,466
but we've been living
off cold cuts and waffles.
394
00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:33,902
And Jocelyn had to sell
her Beanie Baby collection.
395
00:16:33,971 --> 00:16:36,739
And she didn't get half what
that Diana bear was worth.
396
00:16:36,807 --> 00:16:39,674
And now she's working nights
down at the gas station.
397
00:16:39,744 --> 00:16:41,509
- She's working nights?
- No, she's not,
398
00:16:41,577 --> 00:16:45,380
but she will have to if
things get really bad.
399
00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:51,787
All right.
400
00:16:51,855 --> 00:16:53,489
- Here's what we're gonna do.
- Hmm?
401
00:16:53,557 --> 00:16:54,990
We're putting an "R" beside
402
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,825
every single thing on this list.
403
00:16:56,894 --> 00:16:59,461
Got it. Okay. Now when you say "R,"
404
00:16:59,529 --> 00:17:01,529
does that stand for
Rose, as in Johnny Rose...
405
00:17:01,597 --> 00:17:03,532
- Roland! It stands for Roland!
- Okay.
406
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,234
And you can start by taking
those sheets over to room two.
407
00:17:06,303 --> 00:17:07,548
You got it.
408
00:17:18,949 --> 00:17:21,150
Ew! What are you doing in my bed?
409
00:17:21,218 --> 00:17:23,384
Oh, David please, I
couldn't possibly make it
410
00:17:23,453 --> 00:17:25,554
all the way to my own bed.
411
00:17:25,622 --> 00:17:27,836
I'm-I'm just uh...
412
00:17:28,592 --> 00:17:30,526
I'm exhausted!
413
00:17:31,796 --> 00:17:34,695
- Was it the footwork?
- Oh, it was the footwork.
414
00:17:34,765 --> 00:17:36,898
It was the score, it was the book,
415
00:17:36,967 --> 00:17:38,875
it was all of that, David.
416
00:17:39,336 --> 00:17:42,471
But most severely lacking... was me.
417
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,740
You were right, my dear.
418
00:17:45,742 --> 00:17:49,454
I've had my time, and it's over now.
419
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,613
Um, I don't think I said that.
420
00:17:51,682 --> 00:17:54,027
There is an elephant in the room David,
421
00:17:54,384 --> 00:17:57,019
and he's whispering, "retire!"
422
00:17:57,086 --> 00:17:59,288
Run David, go to Jocelyn,
423
00:17:59,355 --> 00:18:01,690
and tell her to cancel the evening.
424
00:18:01,758 --> 00:18:04,615
Okay... um well, I won't be doing that,
425
00:18:05,895 --> 00:18:08,230
but...
426
00:18:08,298 --> 00:18:11,388
there is one other option.
427
00:18:11,814 --> 00:18:13,263
What?
428
00:18:14,438 --> 00:18:17,008
What if we did...
429
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:19,444
the number?
430
00:18:20,978 --> 00:18:22,376
- The number?
- Yeah, I know,
431
00:18:22,380 --> 00:18:25,141
it was stupid, it was
dumb. It was a dumb idea.
432
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:30,258
David, you would do that for me?
433
00:18:31,733 --> 00:18:33,788
I thought you used to hate
it when I'd trot you out
434
00:18:33,790 --> 00:18:35,691
in front of my friends?
435
00:18:35,759 --> 00:18:40,394
I still do, it's just that
I'm finding this situation
436
00:18:40,397 --> 00:18:42,316
to be incredibly disturbing,
437
00:18:42,532 --> 00:18:45,996
and I will eventually need my bed back.
438
00:18:46,536 --> 00:18:49,404
Do you think people
would find it strange,
439
00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:53,358
- or even inappropriate?
- Probably.
440
00:18:53,676 --> 00:18:56,612
And do you think we still have it?
441
00:18:57,914 --> 00:19:00,781
I'll go plug in my hair straightener.
442
00:19:00,851 --> 00:19:02,672
I hope you're not wearing your shoes.
443
00:19:11,494 --> 00:19:13,073
Okay, let's have
another round of applause
444
00:19:13,096 --> 00:19:14,563
for the children's choir,
445
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,030
and their Kylie Minogue medley!
446
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,035
Those were some racy lyrics!
447
00:19:20,103 --> 00:19:22,037
Okay. Ladies and gentlemen,
448
00:19:22,038 --> 00:19:25,574
I know that your headliner
tonight is gonna surprise you,
449
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,342
because she certainly surprised me
450
00:19:27,411 --> 00:19:28,943
when she told me just moments ago
451
00:19:29,011 --> 00:19:30,679
that she'd switched up her entire act,
452
00:19:30,747 --> 00:19:33,015
even though somebody put
down a really hefty deposit
453
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,855
on a wall of mirrors!
454
00:19:38,189 --> 00:19:42,691
Okay anyways, without
further ado, the main event!
455
00:19:48,332 --> 00:19:50,999
Oh, thank you so much.
456
00:19:51,001 --> 00:19:53,067
Um, is this the number?
457
00:19:53,135 --> 00:19:55,295
It's the middle of summer.
458
00:19:56,539 --> 00:19:59,607
Brr! It's awfully cold out there.
459
00:19:59,609 --> 00:20:00,875
Um, they used to do this act
460
00:20:00,943 --> 00:20:02,810
every year at our Christmas party,
461
00:20:02,813 --> 00:20:04,712
and you can't unsee something like this.
462
00:20:06,383 --> 00:20:07,848
Ahem!
463
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:10,409
Oh, I wonder who that could be!
464
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,888
It's television's Moira Rose!
465
00:20:15,259 --> 00:20:17,392
That's television's mom, to you.
466
00:20:18,761 --> 00:20:22,029
You know, nothing is
colder than the chill I get
467
00:20:22,098 --> 00:20:25,166
when I think of the dangers
of asbestos poisoning.
468
00:20:25,234 --> 00:20:26,769
Mhmm.
469
00:20:26,836 --> 00:20:28,971
Luckily, a little birdie told me
470
00:20:29,038 --> 00:20:31,073
that with enough funds raised,
471
00:20:31,141 --> 00:20:34,550
this town could be asbestos free by...
472
00:20:35,046 --> 00:20:37,945
Christmas!
473
00:20:43,386 --> 00:20:44,720
- ♪ Ding! ♪
- ♪ Dong! ♪
474
00:20:44,788 --> 00:20:46,355
- ♪ Ding! ♪
- ♪ Dong! ♪
475
00:20:46,423 --> 00:20:47,622
- ♪ Ding! ♪
- ♪ Dong! ♪
476
00:20:47,691 --> 00:20:48,824
- ♪ Ding! ♪
- ♪ Dong! ♪
477
00:20:48,892 --> 00:20:50,459
♪ On the first day of Christmas, ♪
478
00:20:50,527 --> 00:20:52,094
♪ My true love gave to me, ♪
479
00:20:52,162 --> 00:20:54,730
♪ The keys to a Lamborghini ♪
480
00:20:54,798 --> 00:20:57,365
- ♪ On the...
- Oh come all ye faithful... ♪
481
00:20:57,433 --> 00:21:00,935
♪ Deck the halls with
boughs of holly... ♪
482
00:21:01,005 --> 00:21:04,772
Yes, I said faithful,
which rules out all of you!
483
00:21:13,215 --> 00:21:15,718
♪ God rest ye, merry gentlemen ♪
484
00:21:15,786 --> 00:21:20,529
♪ Let nothing you
dismay may-may-may ♪
485
00:21:20,554 --> 00:21:25,029
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
36985
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