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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:25,223 Have you ever done something stupid? 2 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,729 No, I mean really stupid. 3 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:31,234 Stupid to the point where you and your friends are being shot at? 4 00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:35,901 This is the craziest thing you've ever done to us! 5 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,281 Who the fuck is the crazy bitch shootin' at us?! 6 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,329 Oh, that's Juan Garcia's daughter. 7 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,929 - We're in love. - Well, then text the bitch 8 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,993 and tell her to quit fucking shooting at us! 9 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:49,206 What could possibly lead these three best of friends 10 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,757 to brave the face of death? 11 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,631 Money, of course. 12 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:57,259 ♪ California knows how to party 13 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,474 ♪ Shake it down 14 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,016 ♪ California 15 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,685 ♪ Knows how to party... 16 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,808 Even as children, little Vincent 17 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:08,391 was always concocting some sort of get-rich-quick scheme. 18 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,273 Man, I don't know how I let you talk me into this. 19 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,354 - Oh, please. - I'm serious. 20 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,987 I'm black, Vincent, or did you somehow forget that 21 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,908 when you came up with this brilliant plan? 22 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,362 What the hell does that have to do with anything? 23 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,574 What? Man, we try to return that cat and get the reward, 24 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,912 you know the first thing old Miss Womack's gonna think 25 00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:28,499 is, "I bet it was this little nigga that stole it." 26 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,046 She wouldn't say that. 27 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,964 Shut up, Kurt! 28 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,837 Vincent convinced Chris 29 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,634 that he would not be singled out 30 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,587 just because he was black. 31 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:38,967 My baby! 32 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:40,673 Why is he in a bag? 33 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,100 This was the eighties, and everyone knew 34 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,850 that racism no longer existed in America. 35 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:50,058 There you go, boys, $40, just like the reward says. 36 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,111 Um, there's something that's a little odd. 37 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:56,030 Mr. Wiggles has always been an indoor kitty... 38 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,948 so I can't imagine 39 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,028 how he got out. 40 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,908 Christopher? 41 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,740 You or any of your brothers, did you leave a door open 42 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,621 when you were cleaning out my garage? 43 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,828 Ms. Womack, that was two years ago 44 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,333 you had us clean out your garage. 45 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,148 Your cat's only been missing three weeks. 46 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,466 That's neither fish nor fowl. 47 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,339 I told you, just 'cause I was black, 48 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,554 I was gonna get blamed. I should kill you, Vincent. 49 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:20,967 Whatever, look at all this money. 50 00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,345 Man, one day we will have a black president, 51 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,807 and he will make sure all black people are taken care of, you best believe that. 52 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,059 Not a chance. Boys, you stick with me, 53 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,937 and you'll definitely share in the wealth, 'cause I'm gonna be rich. 54 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,064 'Cause I'm gonna be rich. 55 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:37,317 Why am I reciting this great modern tale 56 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,194 in which legends were made? 57 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,366 Because someone paid me. 58 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,195 So shut up and pay close attention. 59 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:52,378 Never as a child prophesize about your future wealth, 60 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:56,208 because you end up sleeping on your friend's pleather couch. 61 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,675 Who is it? 62 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,137 Christopher Jefferson Johnson? 63 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,224 Hey, who is that using my government name? 64 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,308 Think it's Walter, man. 65 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,736 He's dressed like he's going to church. 66 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,737 And you're sweaty, Walter. 67 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,407 What up, Walt? 68 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:26,488 Uh, Mr. Johnson, you are hereby served. 69 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,369 Serving what? What are you serving? 70 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:31,041 Goddamn it, I'm sorry, man, look... 71 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,119 My stupid brother-in-law got me this job 72 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,874 as a process server. 73 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:38,083 She's tagging along with me all damn day, and... 74 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,088 I'm scared as hell out here! 75 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,423 I'm real sorry, Chris. 76 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,721 Divorce sucks. 77 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,424 I'm glad it's not me. 78 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,602 Walter, I'm waiting! 79 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,521 OK, actually, I wish it was me. 80 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,395 Get the fuck away from my house, man. 81 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,225 Come up here and serving me. 82 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,548 You can't even take care of that fucking bitch out there, 83 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,280 gotta ride around in a car with rollers all over her goddamn head. 84 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,608 What the fuck you doing with that monkey suit on? 85 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:04,943 Sorry, Chris. 86 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,448 You're very sweaty, Walter. 87 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,497 Thanks, man. 88 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:12,451 Oh, we still on for poker on Wednesday night? 89 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,160 Yes, Walter. 90 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,496 Yes! 91 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,422 I'll bring the pizza, you guys. 92 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,251 Fuckin' bitch. 93 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,837 You shouldn't start your day like this. 94 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,388 Man, you've been sitting here living on my couch 95 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,184 since October 15, five motherfucking years ago. 96 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:33,308 I can count that. I get it. 97 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,391 You need to come to grips with this, uh, reality 98 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,602 that you're not that good a salesman, man. 99 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,403 Man, you're talking about my career. 100 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,107 Your career is fucked up. What is it this week, man? 101 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:45,658 Upright Breathe-Right. 102 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,656 Up-breathin' what? Breathe what? Who? 103 00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,703 You know what, I'm proud of what I do. 104 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,998 It's the Upright Breathe-Right. 105 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,792 It is a vacuum cleaner, is what the fuck it is. 106 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,040 Man, millionaires don't get like this overnight. 107 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,963 I'm trying to do what I need to do, OK? 108 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,417 I'm going to work to make my millions. 109 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,047 Watch when I come home today. 110 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:08,427 I got a real job, I fix motors. People need to drive. 111 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:13,262 You need to fix your drive, your drive in life, Chris. 112 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,190 While Vincent and Chris toiled to make a dollar out of 50 cents, 113 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:21,110 Kurt was actually quite wealthy working for his father-in-law, 114 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,563 and miserable to boot. 115 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,570 Oh! What are you doing? You're supposed to be in there. 116 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,026 Yeah, I'm trying. 117 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,032 I can't find my transportation form. 118 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,489 Fuck, you look like hell. 119 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,290 Did you sleep last night? 120 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,743 Little, uh, wacky-wacky? 121 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,124 Thanks, thanks, Rick. 122 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,205 It's exactly what I needed right now. 123 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,383 Aaah, just glad it's you and not me, man. 124 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,005 I don't think I could do it. 125 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:49,464 Do what? You gave the last presentation. 126 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,050 Yeah, and I fucking killed that bitch. 127 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,852 No, I'm talking about being the son-in-law 128 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,270 of the CEO. 129 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,938 Hello! 130 00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,310 Uh-uh-uh-uh! Pfft! 131 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,438 Please. 132 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:06,648 You are about to present to the biggest potential client 133 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,449 this firm has ever seen. 134 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:11,744 And your father-in-law, slasher-balls, 135 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,538 is gonna be sitting right there, same room, 136 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,035 analyzing your every move. 137 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,666 Kurt. 138 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,588 Kurtie? 139 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,587 Dude! Hey! Snap out of it. 140 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,088 Yo! 141 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,341 What? What did you say? 142 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:32,924 Fix your hair first. 143 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:36,011 Oh, and your secretary always stares at my bulge. 144 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,647 See you in the trenches. 145 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,438 Two minutes. 146 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,238 Breathe. 147 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:54,321 Just a panic attack. 148 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,826 I have several hundred of these a month. 149 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,164 You can do this! You can do this! 150 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:07,337 Mr. Pomeroy, it's your wife on line one. 151 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,636 Um... put her through. 152 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,008 OK. 153 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,552 Hello, darling. I won't keep you. 154 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,291 I just Wanted to tell you how important this meeting is to daddy. 155 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,481 I know. 156 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,274 Well, I'm not sure you do. 157 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:27,024 Takanaki Industries is a client daddy's tried to get for years, 158 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:29,901 and it would be unfortunate if you lost this opportunity. 159 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:33,029 I'm the reason Takanaki Industries is even here today. 160 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:37,204 Three years of traveling back and forth from Japan, and I got it done. 161 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,748 I would think that you would be calling me, 162 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,872 your husband, to say, "Good luck!" 163 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,294 Hah. That's cute, honey. 164 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,088 Just keep your eye on the ball. 165 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,540 Remember that 166 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,796 it's all on your shoulders. 167 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:52,048 This family doesn't tolerate losers. 168 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,260 Ow! 169 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,245 ♪ Work for the money, work for the-for the money 170 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,149 ♪ Work for the money, work for the-for the money 171 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,749 ♪ Work for the money, work for the money 172 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,139 ♪ Work for the money... 173 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,566 ♪ I like her head, shoulders, knees, ho 174 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:09,270 ♪ Head, shoulders, knees, ho, Head shoulders knees, ho 175 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,025 ♪ Head, shoulders, knees, ho 176 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,777 ♪ Hey, what's that sound 177 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,950 ♪ Everybody look what's goin' down 178 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,601 ♪ Down to the floor, scrub the ground 179 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,529 ♪ Everybody look when she come around... 180 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,455 All right, you're gonna be rich, 181 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,347 you're gonna be rich, you're gonna be rich. 182 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,543 Hi. 183 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:32,297 Hi. Wow, you're hot... Oh, hi, I'm Vincent Bolero 184 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,720 with the Upright Breathe-Right, and you have been chosen 185 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,844 from thousands of participants to receive a... 186 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,722 You got... Is it hot? 187 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,929 Actually, my parents, they just bought me a vacuum 188 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,231 right before the semester started, so I'm all good. 189 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,525 Hold on, just give me one second. 190 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,353 They gave me a rebuttal for that... the pamphlet. 191 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,772 Hand 'em the pamphlet here. That has all the information. 192 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,358 - I have company. - Oh, hey, hi, guys. 193 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,868 What you doing, just chillin'? I used to chill. 194 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,241 Let me tell ya, um... 195 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,073 Ha, I know what that is. 196 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:06,039 That's not a asthma breather, is it? 197 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,335 You guys! 198 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,509 - All right, so... - No, you can't have any. 199 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,531 And my parents give me an allowance every month 200 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,717 which is not enough to afford this amazing vacuum, 201 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,390 so I couldn't even buy one if I wanted to, thank you. 202 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,303 That leads me to the other part of my whole presentation. 203 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,012 Making money. You, sir. 204 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,565 How would you like to make $10,000 a month? 205 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:32,020 Wait, so you make $10,000 a month? 206 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,820 Dressed like that? 207 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:38,151 Um, I don't. My boss does. And then the guy above him. 208 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,531 At the office, it's like a tower, OK? 209 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,535 They have like, you have the level one... 210 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,788 It's like a pyramid. They don't think of it like a pyramid. 211 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,710 They say don't say it's a pyramid. 212 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,538 It's better looking at it on the board, 213 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:54,171 but yes, you can, you can make that kind of money. 214 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,752 It's like he's an anchor on the Sad News Network 215 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,712 and the special is "My Life Sucks." 216 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,845 I'm gonna dump this right here. 217 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,552 No, you're not, whoa! Dude! Oh, my God! 218 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,980 Be cool, man. It's from the vacuum company. They give me this stuff. 219 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,649 Whoa, hold on, Vince, is it? 220 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,476 Is this really your job? 221 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,857 Like, you just bust on in here, 222 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,780 dump dirt and shit all over the floor 223 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,983 and tell me I can make more money than you do? 224 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,319 I get it. 225 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,996 I'm the guy being laughed at in the room, right? 226 00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,039 It's not like there's much difference 227 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,584 between you and this pile of dirt right now. 228 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,001 This is not very, um... 229 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:34,457 uh... 230 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,714 There's, uh, you can have it. I'm sorry. 231 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:41,297 No! What? Take it? You're not gonna clean this up? 232 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:45,226 The vacuum works, so they say. 233 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,723 Wow! Oh, my God. 234 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:01,909 Look, man, when I tell you to go get us some coffee, don't put cream in my shit. 235 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,578 Black people like our shit black! 236 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,749 Christopher Jefferson Johnson, you ain't playin' no more damn games with me! 237 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,420 You can wallow that fat ass right on back out that door. 238 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:15,998 - You can wallow your ass if you don't sign these divorce papers. - Bitch, please. 239 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:19,506 I'm warning you, Chris, you're not gonna mess this up for me. 240 00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,212 He's a real man. 241 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,514 He's the next nigga. 242 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,591 Fuck you lookin' at? Get your ass to work! 243 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,746 Affirmative action, that's why I hired your honky ass! 244 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,102 Get, get, get! 245 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,897 Now, look here, you think you're gonna get knocked up 246 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,896 by this rich motherfucker then try to get a divorce from me 247 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,854 so you can run off and get paid and get married and shit? 248 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,938 It ain't goin' down like that, baby. 249 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:43,071 Oh, you gonna give me a divorce, you best believe that. 250 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:46,529 You got an envelope, I got an envelope. 251 00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,286 In this envelope is a picture of you, 252 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:53,870 buckin' my brother, Jerome Jefferson Johnson III, 253 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,755 and a neighbor, and the motherfucker across the street. 254 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,253 The mailman! There's a picture of you in here 255 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,256 with peanut butter on your left ass cheek 256 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,884 with the dog licking it off, I invented that! 257 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,434 Now, you wanna get a divorce, 258 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,388 you and your rich sugar daddy gonna have to pay me. 259 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:14,144 That's what it is. Now, get the fuck out. 260 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,602 - Get, rock, agitate the ground! - Uggh! 261 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,106 That's a waste of a good ass. 262 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,786 Get to work! Fuck you lookin' at? 263 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:31,081 Take the tire off, get the engine out the motherfucker, 264 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,749 jump in it and drive, kill yourself. 265 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,497 Fuck you, too! All you motherfuckers 266 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,500 act like you ain't never had a bitch fool around on you. 267 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:40,082 I ain't the only one up in this motherfucker. 268 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,169 I quit, too, hah, bitches! 269 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,677 Yes? 270 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,137 Chris! 271 00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:54,972 Oh, my God, how are you? 272 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,103 You know what, I actually don't give a fuck. 273 00:12:57,318 --> 00:13:00,732 Please hold while I get the other half of this shit sandwich on the line. 274 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,361 - Hello? - How are ya? You're on the phone with the Rickster. 275 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:11,287 - Who the fuck is this? - I said "the Rickster" the first time. 276 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,536 - That's long for Rick. - Who is Rick? 277 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,583 It's Rick, for fuck sake. 278 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,378 Chris, this is Rick the dick from college. 279 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:21,081 Why you callin', motherfucker? We don't like you anyway. 280 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,793 You still sporting that dick broom on the top of your lip? 281 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:27,505 Ha! Wow! Dick broom. Still not funny. 282 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:31,120 You better come up with better material when you go visit your buddy at the funny farm. 283 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,624 You're gonna need to lighten the mood. 284 00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:35,771 - Rick, English, please. - Your buddy Kurt 285 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,440 completely bombed in the boardroom. 286 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,571 You know what, scratch that, he didn't just bomb, 287 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,523 that mo-fo kamikazed it. 288 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,689 Aaah! 289 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,615 Ooh, ah-soooo! 290 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,614 Ohhhh! 291 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,492 What the fuck are you dinks making cars for anyhow? 292 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,825 - You can't drive for shit! - This is an outrage! 293 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:59,162 - He fucking hates the Asians. - Harro? 294 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,497 Bring me some ramen noodles! 295 00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:04,299 He basically offended everybody in the room. 296 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,843 Mr. Horny, rock-and-roll time! 297 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:10,014 Then he stepped up to his father-in-law/boss 298 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:13,264 and let him know that he actually prefers to cram it in his daughter's pooper. 299 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,977 I had anal intercourse with your daughter! 300 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,602 You're finished, you hear me?! You son of a bitch! 301 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,645 Ah, romantic. I got to tell ya, 302 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,356 it was the singular greatest/worst thing I have ever seen. 303 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,445 Man, I ain't even tryin' to hear this shit. 304 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,743 Christopher, you may not be trying to hear this, 305 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,991 but, broheim, it is all true. 306 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,285 Christopher... 307 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,663 Vincent... never forget this. 308 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,166 Cradle my balls. 309 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,624 - Yeah, whatever. - Go fuck yourself. 310 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,967 Guess it can't get any worse than this shit. 311 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,136 Who took the last goddamn roll of toilet paper! 312 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,935 So, is this what life's all about: 313 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,146 infidelity, going crazy, hopeless dreaming? 314 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:08,697 Wait a minute, hopeless dreaming? 315 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,115 What? 316 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,488 Vincent. 317 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,819 Christopher? 318 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,246 Fuckin' Chodewell? 319 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,119 That's Chodewell. 320 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,791 That is Chodewell! 321 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,584 Do you remember him in gym class? 322 00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:25,164 He had the little rib cage, looked like a bird was in it? 323 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:29,423 Yeah, but most adults actually call me by my real name, 324 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,128 Dr. Chadwell. 325 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,463 What are you up to? 326 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,176 'Cause, you know, you two 327 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:37,135 were the most popular guys in school. 328 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,188 So, Vincent, right, you, you must be a, what, CEO 329 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:44,767 of a multinational corporation by now, 330 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:48,195 and, Christopher, I can only imagine that you... 331 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:51,319 you are playing professional football for all these years, 332 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:55,118 maybe for the Broncos, am I right? 333 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,821 No, you missed the mark just a little bit. 334 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,874 I'm actually broke and jobless. 335 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,577 Chris's here's wife's pregnant by another man's semen, 336 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,253 and somewhere in this hospital, 337 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,333 Kurt has lost his damn mind with a mental breakdown. 338 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,887 Holy shit! Wow, you guys. 339 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,966 You are quite the success stories, aren't you? 340 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,223 Man, Christopher, I still remember that game... 341 00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,680 - ...Armando Garcia... - I was 19! 342 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:25,107 - You were 22! - I was 19! 343 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,560 Mr. Garcia is Colombia's biggest drug lord 344 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,314 and the head of the Garcia cartel, 345 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,943 which is responsible for smuggling tons 346 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,866 of cocaine into the United States each year. 347 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:38,661 Mr. Robinson then issued a $25 million reward 348 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,910 out for the capture of Mr. Garcia. 349 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,367 The White House is expected to hold a press conference 350 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:46,704 to further add insight to this newest development. 351 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:49,631 In other news, do you like cats? 352 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,299 You know what, fuck you! 353 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,470 Cho to hell, Chodewell! Cho to hell! 354 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,797 You gentlemen can see Mr. Pomeroy now. 355 00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,350 He is pretty sedated, so I suggest you keep your conversation brief. 356 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,395 I'll be quiet. I was just waiting... 357 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,722 Come on, man. 358 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,183 Uh-huh, yeah, no, that's right. 359 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,776 God, Mom, I gotta go. 360 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,857 Two vagrants just walked in. 361 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,995 I'll have to call security and have them thrown out on their asses. 362 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,324 Uh-oh, Chris, you might want to check the bottom of your shoes. 363 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,660 I think one of us stepped in a pile of bitch. 364 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,246 Funny, Vincent. I'm not loaning you any money, so you might as well take a hike. 365 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:32,962 As if I would ever borrow any money from you, Beth. 366 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,965 What the hell does that mean? We've supported your ass for years. 367 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:40,174 Not to mention, you borrow money from everyone you know, you scumbag. 368 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,885 Don't even look at me, man, I don't even like this bitch. 369 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,096 But she got a point. You owe me $700. 370 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,647 What the hell is with the baby balloons? 371 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,191 They was on sale, he's a boy. 372 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,923 - And it's the thought that counts, all right? - You're an idiot. 373 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,696 Chocolate? 374 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,969 That's the last thing he needs, more screw-ups in his life. 375 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,905 He screwed up for the last time with me. 376 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,203 He's lucky that I'm even here right now. 377 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,155 He's in the room! 378 00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,536 He can't hear shit, he looks like a freakin' vegetable, 379 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,431 drool and shit coming out of his mouth... this is fucking disgusting! 380 00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:10,294 And after what he pulled with daddy today, 381 00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,214 I would say divorce is in his slobbering-ass future. 382 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,009 You know what, Brenda, that is some coldblooded shit 383 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,677 to say about your husband. 384 00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:21,848 My name is Bethany! Bethany! 385 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:24,329 Tell your loser-ass friend to get a good divorce attorney. 386 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,845 The less I see of any of you, the better. 387 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,898 You know you want it. 388 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,817 - Did she just leave him? - Yeah. 389 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,021 My man is cracked out. 390 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,919 He ain't cracked out, it's all the Valium they're pumping in his arm. 391 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,026 Look, I don't know what we're supposed to do, 392 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,861 'cause obviously the crazy bitch is not coming back. 393 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:47,370 - All right, just let me think. - Put your mind in gear, man. 394 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,372 Look at you, Kurt. 395 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,328 This is the moment where Vincent 396 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,881 saw his opportunity to be rich and famous. 397 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,084 - That's it. - Pissin' out his mouth, man. 398 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:01,092 Whatever, man, fuck him. We gotta go on vacation, man. We need a vacation. 399 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,970 - What? - A vacation from our lives. 400 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,598 So this I where I drink the Kool-Aid, right, 401 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,350 go to this little island and then die? 402 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,230 No, I'm not talking about suicide, man, 403 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,604 I'm talking about getting the hell out of the country. 404 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,526 You broke and I got a j-o-b. 405 00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:17,855 And your job sucks. You're in a fuckin' onesie. 406 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,111 I'm in a dickey: that's where my dick go. 407 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,283 Look, man, I'm broke but he's not, 408 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,906 and they're still married. 409 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,784 Credit cards, you know what I'm saying? 410 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:31,543 Bump the bitch credit card. Come on, let's get this crazy motherfucker out of here. 411 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,425 Ooh! 412 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:42,880 Mr. Chodewell! 413 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,011 Grow up! 414 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,305 Can some... 415 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,069 Hmm-mm-mm. 416 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,943 Yeah, I think we need to stop feeding him Valiums, man. 417 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:04,026 I know, look at him, man. He looks like a disaster. 418 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,885 Can you imagine him at our Hollywood parties? He's got no tolerance. 419 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,909 How can I help you gentlemen today? 420 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,663 The three of us adults would like three tickets to Colombia, 421 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,039 and you can put it on that man's card. 422 00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:18,465 South Carolina, that's what I'm talkin' about, man. I got cousins down there. 423 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,876 That's good, man, but we're not going to South Carolina. 424 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,295 Sir, I think he means the country of Colombia. 425 00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:26,848 Colombia! Vincent, are you crazy, man? 426 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,766 That is the drug capital of the world. 427 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,766 I'm black, they're gonna think I'm trafficking... click-click. 428 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,064 Chill, dude, you'll be fine, man. 429 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:37,063 Everybody knows the Valley's the drug capital of the world. 430 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,860 Can I carry this on? 431 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,278 Yes. 432 00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:44,991 Betcha they ain't even got black people in Colombia. 433 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:48,366 I'm pretty sure the entire country was founded by black people. 434 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:51,039 Right, you geniuses are all set. 435 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,708 Have a wonderful time in the African nation of Colombia! 436 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:11,805 How is he? 437 00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:13,603 Passed out. 438 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:17,023 They found an empty row, just laid him on down there. 439 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,476 Where did you get them clothes, man? 440 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:22,396 Don't be laughing at my clothes, man. Stewardess gave me this. 441 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,777 That boy slobbered all over my new shirt. 442 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:30,745 Kurt can never catch a break, man. Ever. 443 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,948 What? 444 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:35,750 Do you want to look in the motherfucking mirror? 445 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,624 All right, I admit I'm going through a transition right now. 446 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:43,925 - Oh, that's funny, isn't it? - You goin' through a tran... 447 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:49,097 Vincent, we on a plane. Where we goin', and why? 448 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,392 Man... you need to learn to relax. 449 00:21:52,603 --> 00:21:56,688 We are in first class, man. This is first class. Look at this! 450 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:00,934 What the fuck up, Vincent? 451 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,315 Promise you're not gonna get mad. 452 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:06,023 First class! What the fuck's up? 453 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:07,483 All right. 454 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:10,944 You know, on the news, every day, that guy, 455 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,281 Juan Garcia, in Colombia. You know who I'm talking about? 456 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:17,618 The drug lord Garcia, chop your head off, yeah, him. 457 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,717 Well, he doesn't necessarily chop your head off. 458 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,123 I mean, we don't know that. That's what the news is telling us. 459 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,755 All right? Listen to what I'm going to say. 460 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,587 - I'm listening. - There is a 20... 461 00:22:28,806 --> 00:22:33,096 There is a $25 million reward for the capture of this dude. 462 00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:36,553 And what the fuck does that have to do with us? 463 00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,349 $25 million. 464 00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:43,936 Are you out of your motherfucking mind, Vincent? 465 00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:46,066 He kill people, man. Your dog will be dead! 466 00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:47,818 The motherfucker kidnap families, 467 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:51,197 take 'em over to Colombia and they never come back, man. 468 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,932 I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying, let's do recognizance. 469 00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:55,822 That ain't even a word, "recognizance." 470 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,492 We just go look and see what's happening from a distance. 471 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,247 - From a distance? - From a distance. 472 00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:03,079 - Like a vacation. - Yeah. It is a vac... 473 00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:05,211 - In first class! - All right. 474 00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:07,821 I like living, know what I'm saying? Ain't nothing like breathing. 475 00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:10,383 I never heard a dead motherfucker come back... 476 00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:13,511 - Well, then breathe... - and say how good it is to be dead. 477 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,137 ...some of this. 478 00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:18,895 Is that them shrooms, motherfucker? 479 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,893 - It is. - Chocolate marsh. 480 00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:22,748 Yeah, you don't have to yell to everybody. 481 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,894 Yes, it is, my nigga, it is. 482 00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:28,196 This motherfuckin' trip just got a whole lot better, know what I'm sayin'? 483 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,740 - Have the pudding. - Hmm? 484 00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:34,115 It tastes a little different. 485 00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:36,492 He didn't get much time to put it together, he said. 486 00:23:36,707 --> 00:23:38,243 So... 487 00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:42,123 he had to substitute a couple of the ingredients. 488 00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:44,876 What did he substitute? 489 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,002 Small shit, like butter. 490 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:50,301 Butter? What did he replace the butter with? 491 00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:52,128 What did he say, hold on? 492 00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:54,715 Pee-otee? Pee-ot... Pay-ot... Pee-ari. 493 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,175 Peyote?! 494 00:23:58,020 --> 00:24:00,307 That motherfucker fucked a fire hydrant 495 00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:02,184 butt asshole naked on that shit. 496 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:04,391 On a Sunday, in front of the church. 497 00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:05,771 He said it was cool, man. 498 00:24:05,986 --> 00:24:07,602 If you can't trust your drug dealer, 499 00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:10,689 who are you gonna trust, man? He does this for a living. 500 00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,385 Did you hear what the fuck you just said? 501 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,828 Chemistry lesson 101. 502 00:24:21,043 --> 00:24:24,832 Taking a hodgepodge of drugs at 35,000 feet 503 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:28,131 may cause you to simply feel faded. 504 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:32,632 ♪ I'm trippin' I'm trippin', I'm trippin' 505 00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:35,133 ♪ I'm trippin', I'm trippin' day to day now 506 00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:36,949 ♪ I'm trippin' I'm trippin', I'm trippin' 507 00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:38,721 ♪ I'm trippin', I'm trippin' my life away 508 00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:40,928 ♪ And I'm trippin' 509 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:43,433 ♪ Trippin' inside and slippin' along with my mind... 510 00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:59,864 Come on, nancy boy! 511 00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:04,246 I'm turning white. 512 00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:05,622 Heh heh. 513 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:08,959 - Crazy. - Hello, Mr. Johnson. 514 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:11,257 Please enjoy this bottle of champagne on us. 515 00:25:11,468 --> 00:25:13,209 You mean you're gonna give me 516 00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:14,920 a whole bottle of champagne for free? 517 00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:16,755 Of course, Mr. Johnson. 518 00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:20,809 You're white, you know the rules. 519 00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:24,058 Hi, Mr. Johnson. The pilots would like a word with you in the cockpit. 520 00:25:24,273 --> 00:25:26,606 - Am I in trouble? - No, silly. 521 00:25:26,817 --> 00:25:29,275 You're white, come on! 522 00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:32,194 Here, take my pen. 523 00:25:32,406 --> 00:25:35,365 Welcome to first class. 524 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,406 You know what, take my baby. 525 00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:43,785 Come on, now. 526 00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:50,915 Well, hiya, Christopher. Come on, son, sit down! 527 00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:52,965 How'd you like to fly the plane? 528 00:25:53,177 --> 00:25:55,464 Man, are you serious? I don't know how to fly no plane. 529 00:25:58,682 --> 00:26:01,390 Oh, you old devil, you! Come on, son! 530 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,520 You're white, you can do anything you put your mind to. 531 00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:09,252 Well, all right. 532 00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:11,233 ♪ I'm trippin' 533 00:26:11,445 --> 00:26:15,405 ♪ Trippin' inside and slippin' along with my mind 534 00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:19,155 ♪ Trippin' inside and havin' a wonderful time 535 00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:21,361 You're on peyote! 536 00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:37,923 Heh-heh-heh! 537 00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:41,006 Yeah, I can get used to this white shit. 538 00:26:41,225 --> 00:26:42,591 Hmm. 539 00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:44,972 Credit score done went up. 540 00:26:45,187 --> 00:26:47,895 Hah. Yeah. 541 00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:59,108 Nooooooo! 542 00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:06,247 After a long flight, 543 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:10,418 our hapless heroes arrive in Colombia, South America, 544 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,416 which should be very interesting, 545 00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:15,044 as Vincent and Chris believe that Colombia 546 00:27:15,259 --> 00:27:17,592 is just another city in Mexico. 547 00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:31,514 Whoa! 548 00:27:33,735 --> 00:27:35,476 You got him? 549 00:27:35,696 --> 00:27:36,857 Yep. 550 00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:38,734 Oh, man! 551 00:27:40,868 --> 00:27:42,530 Prop him up against here. 552 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:54,336 Man, what is this? Ain't no black people here, man. 553 00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:55,709 You lied. 554 00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:58,086 I don't know about this shit, but... 555 00:27:59,845 --> 00:28:02,087 That is not what it looks like in the picture, right? 556 00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:05,470 - It says five stars. - Man, this ain't one star. This ain't a quarter moon. 557 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,973 This place is nasty, man. All right, let's go. 558 00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:12,181 - Uh, what about Kurt, man? - What about him, man? 559 00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,641 We're in a foreign country, they love Americans. 560 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:16,226 Dude'll be fine. 561 00:28:23,744 --> 00:28:25,531 We're Americans! 562 00:28:36,632 --> 00:28:38,544 Three rooms, please. 563 00:28:40,802 --> 00:28:43,465 - Three rooms? - ¿Qué necesitas? 564 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,922 ¿Qué necesitas? 565 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:49,179 Something about a K and sisters. 566 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:53,229 ¿Ah necesitas una habitación, para alquilar? 567 00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:55,435 Sólo tenemos una. 568 00:28:55,651 --> 00:28:58,359 - I don't know, bro. - You better know, man. 569 00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:00,653 You've been reading that damn Mexican travel guide 570 00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:02,480 ever since you was on the damn plane. 571 00:29:02,699 --> 00:29:04,156 Now, figure this shit out, man. 572 00:29:04,368 --> 00:29:06,408 It doesn't say anything about ordering a room, dude. 573 00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:11,414 It says, like, fuckin' plants and soccer and shit, that's it. 574 00:29:11,625 --> 00:29:14,618 - Like Escobar, you'd give him a room, wouldn't you? - Escobar? 575 00:29:14,836 --> 00:29:18,250 Yeah, Escobar. Like the soccer player. 576 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:19,664 Like goal! 577 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:25,803 ¡Dios mío! 578 00:29:26,014 --> 00:29:27,971 What the fuck did you just do, Vincent? 579 00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:29,924 I don't know. Andrés Escobar 580 00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:32,890 is Colombia's best soccer player, says it right there. 581 00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:34,516 Man, let me see this. 582 00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:39,479 No damn wonder. This is 1992. 583 00:29:39,695 --> 00:29:41,857 This motherfucking magazine is 20 years old. 584 00:29:42,072 --> 00:29:44,592 No wonder she didn't understand what the fuck you talkin' about. 585 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:49,119 - What is that? - Get y'alls skins! 586 00:29:49,329 --> 00:29:52,163 - Hey, yo, man, look! - It's a midget with a gat. 587 00:29:52,374 --> 00:29:53,740 You're Americans? 588 00:29:53,959 --> 00:29:56,747 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're cool, right? Americans. 589 00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:58,954 Why you singing praises to Pablo Escobar? 590 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:01,414 We ain't praisin' nobody but the Lord. 591 00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:03,169 We're God's children. 592 00:30:03,385 --> 00:30:05,593 We were sent here to build a small mission 593 00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:10,424 for the Lord... mission... for Jesus's children. 594 00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:12,383 And we don't know Pablo Escobar, bro. 595 00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:14,264 Put the gun down, please. 596 00:30:16,064 --> 00:30:18,477 Forgive her, she's getting senile in her later years. 597 00:30:18,692 --> 00:30:20,149 All right. 598 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,147 Three rooms. 599 00:30:22,362 --> 00:30:25,230 Twenty American dollars. Only have one room and one bed. 600 00:30:25,449 --> 00:30:29,568 The hell with that. Come on, $20? 601 00:30:29,786 --> 00:30:32,449 Just get the room, man. Little dude's got a gat. 602 00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:34,246 We can get another hotel tomorrow. 603 00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:35,539 We only accept cash. 604 00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:37,333 You got a spa? 605 00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:41,098 It's never easy informing one of your friends 606 00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:43,547 that while he was in a drug-induced coma, 607 00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:44,875 his marriage ended. 608 00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,756 But hey, what are friends for? 609 00:30:47,971 --> 00:30:50,338 Fuckin' hug him. 610 00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,971 - Fuck you, you hug him. - I'm not... I had to tell him. 611 00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:57,099 I had to wipe the slobber off his face the whole flight down here 612 00:30:57,314 --> 00:30:59,274 while you were jacking off underneath the blanket. 613 00:30:59,316 --> 00:31:00,852 How did you know I was jacking off? 614 00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:04,652 - Smooth ripples in the blanket. - I should have used the jacket. 615 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,775 Jackets are real smooth, got the material. 616 00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:08,902 When it get crunchy it don't wrinkle up. 617 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:11,359 I ain't never done it myself but it's what I heard. 618 00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:13,820 - Good lookin' out, next time. - That's what's up. 619 00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:19,913 I think a drink is in order for you. 620 00:31:20,128 --> 00:31:23,292 So you thought bringing us to a Third World country was a good idea? 621 00:31:23,507 --> 00:31:26,875 To catch a fucking Colombian cartel drug lord? Are you mental? 622 00:31:27,094 --> 00:31:29,006 Keep it down, man. These people all look alike. 623 00:31:29,221 --> 00:31:30,382 They could be the cartel. 624 00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:32,384 He's trying to get us killed. 625 00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:34,319 You're gonna get us fucking killed, Vincent. 626 00:31:34,476 --> 00:31:38,516 Maybe it wasn't a well thought out plan, right, but we're here. 627 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,767 So let's just do this. 628 00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:42,769 How could you let this happen? 629 00:31:42,984 --> 00:31:45,977 I didn't do shit. He told me we was coming on vacation. 630 00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:48,062 I didn't know we was gonna be doin' Rambo shit. 631 00:31:48,281 --> 00:31:49,943 Have you lost your mind? 632 00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:53,026 No, Kurt, you lost your mind, and your wife, your job 633 00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:55,237 and your dignity, all in, what, three hours? 634 00:31:55,455 --> 00:31:57,975 - I can testify to that. - I can't believe I'm getting a divorce. 635 00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,873 Just think about it. 636 00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:03,704 $25 million. $25 million. Do you know how much that is? 637 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:07,415 $8,333,333.33 apiece. 638 00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:09,591 Motherfuckin' Rain Man. 639 00:32:09,803 --> 00:32:11,169 We're still gonna get killed. 640 00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:13,596 None of us know anything about capturing a drug lord. 641 00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:17,596 You can say that again. He know what he talkin' about. I didn't think of it like that. 642 00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:19,894 Everybody's got their thing, this is our thing. 643 00:32:20,105 --> 00:32:21,666 Kurt, wouldn't you like to show your ex-wife 644 00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:22,690 that you're not a loser? 645 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:25,482 - Who said I was a loser? - She did. 646 00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:27,902 - What a bitch. - And, Chris, wouldn't you like 647 00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:30,007 to throw a baseball with a kid that's actually yours? 648 00:32:30,031 --> 00:32:31,772 Yeah, that's funny. 649 00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:33,816 I'd like to do that one of these days. 650 00:32:34,035 --> 00:32:36,402 Come on, man, listen, if we go back to L.A. 651 00:32:36,621 --> 00:32:38,328 like this, broke, what do we got? 652 00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:39,997 We got shit. 653 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,949 Listen, I'm goin', I'm doin' this. 654 00:32:43,086 --> 00:32:44,702 Now, who's with me? 655 00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:46,287 - Fuck it, I'm in. - Thank you. 656 00:32:46,506 --> 00:32:48,623 I'm still not sure why I'm even here. 657 00:32:48,842 --> 00:32:53,633 Hey, man, grow some nuts so the squirrel can climb up the tree and nibble on 'em. 658 00:32:53,847 --> 00:32:55,839 I'm not even sure that made sense, 659 00:32:56,057 --> 00:32:57,719 but you should listen to him. 660 00:32:57,934 --> 00:33:01,018 All right, I'm in. Let's do this, fuck it! 661 00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:02,765 And fuck that bitch! 662 00:33:14,743 --> 00:33:16,700 Got that shit, man, raise the roof! 663 00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:25,952 There are my Americano brothers! 664 00:33:26,171 --> 00:33:28,254 Come on, I take you to the other party 665 00:33:28,465 --> 00:33:31,003 with all the girls and cocaine you want... 666 00:33:31,218 --> 00:33:32,880 I'm goin' with him. 667 00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:35,302 I'm goin' with him and him. 668 00:33:35,514 --> 00:33:38,222 He got pussy, man, you trippin'. 669 00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:41,221 Pussy is not a bad thing. 670 00:33:41,436 --> 00:33:44,770 That's what I'm saying, 'cause you guys are doing it all wrong. 671 00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:49,066 You need to package and combine these drugs for more efficient distribution. 672 00:33:49,277 --> 00:33:50,484 Hmm. 673 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:52,106 Man, snap out of that grunting shit. 674 00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:55,440 Mmm... What? Hmm, I'm not grunting. 675 00:33:55,659 --> 00:33:57,446 Could have swore we were drunk. 676 00:33:57,661 --> 00:34:01,280 I'm still drunk. But I'm up, but I'm drunk. 677 00:34:01,498 --> 00:34:03,364 Yeah. 678 00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:07,202 This is Alaska right up here. This is Alaska. See all the snow? 679 00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:10,458 That's Canada. 680 00:34:10,674 --> 00:34:14,588 So we're gonna come in here, and come in here, and come over here. 681 00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:17,045 - Hmm. - Man, I need a gun. 682 00:34:17,264 --> 00:34:18,800 We need guns. 683 00:34:19,015 --> 00:34:21,507 Think about it, a.357 Magnum, if we're gonna do this. 684 00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:23,558 Man, fuck that baby shit. 685 00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:25,685 I need a AK-47. 686 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:28,230 I could bust a cap in the motherfucker's ass. 687 00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,524 Ack-ack-ack. Ack-ack-ack-ack-ack! 688 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:31,976 Ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack! 689 00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:34,896 You forgot one. 690 00:34:35,115 --> 00:34:36,572 Ack! 691 00:34:38,702 --> 00:34:41,410 - Ahem, titties. - Yes, they are. 692 00:34:46,668 --> 00:34:50,332 Uh, I'm gonna go say hello to her two friends, tit and tat. 693 00:34:50,547 --> 00:34:55,212 No, no, no, no, we gonna say hello to tit and tat... 694 00:34:55,427 --> 00:34:56,713 We ain't doin' the "we." 695 00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:59,762 Ain't no sword-fightin', nuts ain't bouncin', no. 696 00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,760 No, no, no, we'll Eiffel Tower her, man. 697 00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:03,578 I don't wanna touch your balls either, man. 698 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:04,888 We get on each end. 699 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:08,596 I'm not making a porno. I'm going in here and fuck. 700 00:35:08,773 --> 00:35:11,641 I think it's London Bridge, man. We'll London Bridge her! 701 00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:15,444 Oh. 702 00:35:18,742 --> 00:35:20,574 Hello. ¿Cómo estás? 703 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:23,528 - Mm. - Vamos. 704 00:35:23,747 --> 00:35:25,238 OK. 705 00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:45,098 If you could smuggle less by sea 706 00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:47,848 and more by air... here, 707 00:35:48,063 --> 00:35:50,771 in this, uh... in this vicinity right here, 708 00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:54,271 you could attack the United States where they least expect it. 709 00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:58,729 - Jesus! - Enough. 710 00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:05,828 How do you know so much about... 711 00:36:06,039 --> 00:36:07,826 marketing cocaine? 712 00:36:08,041 --> 00:36:10,033 I... 713 00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:12,208 I don't know anything. 714 00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:17,419 Oh, you've been teaching everybody like school children. 715 00:36:19,135 --> 00:36:21,593 No, I just know business. I'm a... 716 00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:24,889 It's not like it's rocket science. It's actually common sense. 717 00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:27,092 Oh, so you're calling me stupid! 718 00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:30,053 No, no, no, I don't... I don't even know you. 719 00:36:30,271 --> 00:36:34,561 I don't know when I've been so disrespected in my own homeland! 720 00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:36,142 But... 721 00:36:36,361 --> 00:36:39,229 Am I such a man that should be treated like this? 722 00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:41,313 No. 723 00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:43,525 You know what? 724 00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:46,076 I don't think I should be the one that should be... 725 00:36:48,456 --> 00:36:51,199 discussing your fate. 726 00:36:51,418 --> 00:36:54,536 I think maybe we should take him to... 727 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:58,247 Garcia. 728 00:36:58,466 --> 00:37:02,335 Juan Garcia, no, no. I haven't got... fate? I don't need to see him. 729 00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:04,090 Get him. 730 00:37:04,305 --> 00:37:06,092 Can't we talk about this? 731 00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:11,435 I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to! 732 00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:16,691 That's what I'm talkin' about. You Mexican girls are hot! 733 00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:18,813 I'm not fucking Mexican. 734 00:37:19,028 --> 00:37:21,520 Oh, well, whatever. 735 00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:23,732 That's what I'm talking about. 736 00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:25,319 - Oh, shit! Fuck! - Aaah! 737 00:37:27,620 --> 00:37:29,407 She's got a fuckin' dick! 738 00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:32,080 Damn, I was just about to bust! You better be... 739 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:36,369 Fuck! Aaah! 740 00:37:36,588 --> 00:37:37,999 Shit. 741 00:37:38,214 --> 00:37:40,206 Goddamn, man! 742 00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:42,417 I just passed a chick with a dick. 743 00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,217 I know, man, I touched her fucking ass! 744 00:37:44,429 --> 00:37:46,796 - You touched her ass? - I did! 745 00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:49,507 Oh, goddamn, man, eh! 746 00:37:49,726 --> 00:37:52,013 It's gonna be all right. Man, this is a freak scene. 747 00:37:52,228 --> 00:37:54,390 That shit make me gay? 748 00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:57,144 No, just... alternative. 749 00:37:57,317 --> 00:37:59,684 Man, I don't want any more fucking cocaine! 750 00:37:59,903 --> 00:38:02,896 All right, man, don't do no more blow! My friend ain't gay! 751 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:05,982 So, she had a dick? You didn't touch it, you didn't... 752 00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:07,988 - Did you suck it? - No. 753 00:38:08,203 --> 00:38:11,446 All right, 'cause I was gonna... Kurt! They got Kurt, man! 754 00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:13,451 They got a gun to his head! 755 00:38:13,666 --> 00:38:15,202 Come on, man. Let that shit go! 756 00:38:17,253 --> 00:38:22,624 Would you like cream and sugar with your coffee, Mister...? 757 00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:25,175 Oh, Mr. Pomeroy. Kurt. Kurt Pomeroy. 758 00:38:25,386 --> 00:38:27,469 And I'll take Splenda, if you have it. 759 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,718 Do you know who I am, Mr. Pomeroy? 760 00:38:30,934 --> 00:38:33,221 I've, um... 761 00:38:33,436 --> 00:38:36,645 I've seen news reports about you in America. 762 00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:39,314 How do they portray me? 763 00:38:39,526 --> 00:38:43,611 They say that you're a... Your business is 764 00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:46,405 the cause of a lot of violence, 765 00:38:46,616 --> 00:38:49,609 both here in South America and in North America. 766 00:38:49,828 --> 00:38:51,820 So I've heard. 767 00:38:52,038 --> 00:38:54,155 Let me say this, Mr. Pomeroy. 768 00:38:54,374 --> 00:38:57,117 Long before our country learned how to capitalize 769 00:38:57,335 --> 00:39:01,045 on our largest export, we were a nation in despair. 770 00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:03,168 A very poor country 771 00:39:03,383 --> 00:39:04,999 where industry would have never existed 772 00:39:05,218 --> 00:39:07,676 or jobs, or schools, as we have today, 773 00:39:07,887 --> 00:39:09,879 without cocaine. 774 00:39:10,098 --> 00:39:12,431 The United States suffers from a disease 775 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:13,928 you Americans call 776 00:39:14,143 --> 00:39:18,183 multiple personality disorder. 777 00:39:18,398 --> 00:39:20,560 I'm not sure I follow you. 778 00:39:20,733 --> 00:39:22,144 I will explain. 779 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,852 The State Department in Washington 780 00:39:25,071 --> 00:39:27,654 sends down a representative every few months. 781 00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:29,778 They work out a special deal with us. 782 00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:31,825 They give us a free route, 783 00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:34,244 where we can bypass the Mexican distribution 784 00:39:34,455 --> 00:39:37,448 and sell our products straight to the streets. 785 00:39:37,667 --> 00:39:39,454 Now, not having to deal with the Mexicans 786 00:39:39,669 --> 00:39:42,412 quadruples our earnings and keeps me from having to deal 787 00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:45,088 with those dirty, uneducated field mice, 788 00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:46,586 as I like to call them. 789 00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:49,009 Then... 790 00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:51,382 the United States' other personality appears. 791 00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:53,055 And they send down a representative 792 00:39:53,266 --> 00:39:56,225 calling off all deals and demanding money from me. 793 00:39:56,436 --> 00:39:59,600 Now, I call that extortion, Mr. Pomeroy. 794 00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:02,648 But there's nothing I can do about that. 795 00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:04,441 Yet. 796 00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,269 Why exactly am I here? 797 00:40:07,447 --> 00:40:09,404 My associate here, Mr. Diego, 798 00:40:09,616 --> 00:40:13,030 he knows more about this business than anyone that I know. 799 00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:15,156 He overheard you tonight, 800 00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:17,863 apparently sharing a great wealth of information 801 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:19,869 on how to improve our business. 802 00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:22,497 And I want to find out what that is. 803 00:40:22,712 --> 00:40:26,205 No, I really, I don't know. I don't know anything. 804 00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:31,419 One more time... and I'm going to sew your lips shut 805 00:40:31,638 --> 00:40:33,550 with your hair. 806 00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:37,600 Mr. Pomeroy, let us take a walk outside. 807 00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:45,565 As you know from doing business in America, 808 00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:48,736 loss is something you cannot tolerate. 809 00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:51,360 Oh, my God, no. No. 810 00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:53,782 Now Mr. Diego will take you into the study. 811 00:40:53,993 --> 00:40:55,985 There you will find a stack of files 812 00:40:56,204 --> 00:40:59,197 that he will explain just enough to get you started. 813 00:40:59,415 --> 00:41:02,078 W-what if I said no? 814 00:41:02,293 --> 00:41:04,455 Well, I will show you. 815 00:41:05,588 --> 00:41:06,829 Mátalo. 816 00:41:09,425 --> 00:41:14,136 God, no! No! No! No! 817 00:41:14,347 --> 00:41:16,179 Good night, Mr. Pomeroy. 818 00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:32,145 She had a dick! 819 00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:38,861 Well, what the hell is you sayin', pig? 820 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,244 Get up! Colonel Andreas will see you now. 821 00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:45,451 Brilliant. 822 00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:48,128 What do I owe the honor of being woken up 823 00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:52,333 in the middle of the night by one of my soldados speaking about a kidnapping? 824 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:57,005 Our friend got kidnapped. He got taken away in a Jeep. That's why we came here. 825 00:41:57,223 --> 00:41:59,385 Hombres... 826 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,593 you're not answering my question. 827 00:42:02,812 --> 00:42:05,395 Why did you two come into my station 828 00:42:05,606 --> 00:42:10,476 at 4 a.m., yelling, screaming, demanding that I be woken up?! 829 00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:13,729 I... 830 00:42:13,948 --> 00:42:17,612 El kidnappo, kidnappay. Like we just told you. 831 00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:20,410 Our friend got taken and we're trying to get him back. 832 00:42:20,621 --> 00:42:23,409 Hey, hey, look, man. 833 00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:25,832 Our friend was taken in a Jeep. 834 00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:28,457 I know damn well he ain't outside that window, man. 835 00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:30,628 Why are you wasting our time? We've been here... 836 00:42:32,425 --> 00:42:34,883 Chris, fucking chill. Third World country. 837 00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:37,757 You should listen to your friend, Mr. Christopher. 838 00:42:37,972 --> 00:42:40,635 That way you might make it out of this country 839 00:42:40,850 --> 00:42:44,059 sitting in the seat of a plane and not a wooden box. 840 00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:46,345 Look, you took me out of context, man. 841 00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:48,556 You know, I have a problem when I get hot. 842 00:42:48,775 --> 00:42:50,732 You know, I have a mental thing that happens, 843 00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,064 and it's kind of like Tourette's... motherfucker! 844 00:42:53,279 --> 00:42:57,193 You know, so, uh... shit! 845 00:42:57,408 --> 00:42:59,741 Sorry. Sir. 846 00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:03,741 I cannot help you. You need to head to Bogotá 847 00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:05,822 and see someone in the US embassy. 848 00:43:06,042 --> 00:43:09,376 - They will be able to help you. - Carlos. 849 00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:13,422 - This way, let's go. - No, we're not done here. 850 00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:16,751 Yes, I've got a gun! 851 00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:20,553 - You can put that down. - Go, go! 852 00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:22,472 iRápido, vamos! 853 00:43:22,642 --> 00:43:25,385 - Is this some Mexican boardroom? - Hey, what are we doing here? 854 00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:28,283 You're in some shit already just by coming to the station last night. 855 00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:29,722 They know! 856 00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:31,603 Who knows? 857 00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:33,810 - Garcia cartel. - The cartel! 858 00:43:34,028 --> 00:43:37,988 Keep your voices down! They're everywhere, even in this policía station! 859 00:43:38,199 --> 00:43:40,441 How do they know who we are? 860 00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:44,324 You two idiots came in here yelling at the top of your lungs about some kidnapping. 861 00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:48,374 They would kill me if anyone found out I was telling you this, so listen carefully. 862 00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:51,668 You're going to go to the embassy and tell them about your American friend. 863 00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:57,125 Tell them he's being held by... one Armando Garcia of the Garcia cartel. 864 00:43:57,343 --> 00:44:01,508 They will start a negotiation for his release in two or three months. 865 00:44:01,722 --> 00:44:04,760 Two or three months? Are you crazy? They got him now! 866 00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:08,970 You have no other choice. Now that they know you're here, they will kill you, sure enough. 867 00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:14,684 Why you want to help us? - My people have lived in fear of cartel regimes over 30 years. 868 00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:17,902 The United States is our only hope on stopping them and their murderous ways. 869 00:44:17,947 --> 00:44:23,067 Having an American kidnapped will bring exposure to this and help with our efforts. 870 00:44:23,286 --> 00:44:25,323 There's gotta be another way. 871 00:44:25,538 --> 00:44:28,201 - I may know someone. - Who? 872 00:44:28,416 --> 00:44:29,657 There's this guy. 873 00:44:29,876 --> 00:44:32,994 He's a former American Special Forces unit guy. 874 00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:35,579 He's very local. Name is Jon Waters. 875 00:44:35,798 --> 00:44:39,257 He lives in the old church in the middle of the village. 876 00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:42,506 Oh, and another thing. This is Colombia, not Mexico. 877 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,467 We're not Mexican, you imbeciles! 878 00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:46,548 Wait a minute. 879 00:44:46,767 --> 00:44:48,599 How do we get in touch with you? 880 00:44:48,811 --> 00:44:49,972 You don't. 881 00:44:53,566 --> 00:44:55,478 What did he just say? 882 00:44:55,693 --> 00:44:58,310 I think he said we're fucked. 883 00:44:58,529 --> 00:44:59,645 What the fuck. 884 00:44:59,864 --> 00:45:02,322 Man, you always getting me in some shit! 885 00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:07,031 Very, very, very, very... 886 00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:10,865 Oh, very good! 887 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,999 Yes, oh! The US involvement. 888 00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:17,083 Very good, Mr. Pomeroy. 889 00:45:17,298 --> 00:45:19,039 I see you and I are going to have 890 00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:21,215 a very fruitful business relationship. 891 00:45:21,427 --> 00:45:25,421 You, my friend, are going to be very rich. 892 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,972 Uh... 893 00:45:27,183 --> 00:45:30,221 with all due respect, Mr. Garcia, I, uh... 894 00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:32,894 I have a wife and a job back in L.A. 895 00:45:33,105 --> 00:45:36,098 I, uh... I can't stay here. 896 00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:41,437 Mr. Pomeroy. 897 00:45:41,656 --> 00:45:45,149 Your wife filed for divorce in a Los Angeles courtroom 898 00:45:45,368 --> 00:45:48,736 yesterday afternoon. 899 00:45:48,955 --> 00:45:50,571 And as for your job... 900 00:45:50,790 --> 00:45:54,204 my associate informed me that you no longer have one. 901 00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:56,751 You see, Mr. Pomeroy, 902 00:45:56,963 --> 00:46:00,127 information is extremely valuable in our business. 903 00:46:00,341 --> 00:46:01,582 You have spies? 904 00:46:01,801 --> 00:46:04,168 No. We have Google. 905 00:46:05,721 --> 00:46:08,509 Now, why don't you just make yourself comfortable? 906 00:46:08,724 --> 00:46:11,057 Make yourself at home, Mr. Pomeroy. 907 00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,386 The choice to stay is not yours. 908 00:46:13,604 --> 00:46:16,347 But your choice to live. Yes. 909 00:46:19,151 --> 00:46:20,562 Come. 910 00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,895 Come. Come! 911 00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:28,905 Please. I want you to check out the view. 912 00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:32,830 You may find it somewhat... meaningful. 913 00:46:50,349 --> 00:46:51,590 Oh, God! 914 00:46:56,314 --> 00:46:57,930 My God! 915 00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:26,174 Even in a moment of sheer terror at what he had just witnessed, 916 00:47:26,385 --> 00:47:29,969 no man can resist the mysterious and majestic beauty 917 00:47:30,181 --> 00:47:31,717 of the punani. 918 00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:40,223 - This has gotta be it. - Looks like the place to me. 919 00:47:40,441 --> 00:47:42,182 What do you think "fuck off" means? 920 00:47:42,401 --> 00:47:44,939 It means don't come in the motherfucker but knock anyway. 921 00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:47,945 Go away! 922 00:47:48,157 --> 00:47:51,150 My name's Vince, this is Chris. We're looking for Jon Waters! 923 00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:54,282 How do you know my name? What do you want? 924 00:47:54,497 --> 00:47:57,786 Look, Policía Carlos sent us over here, man. We're just looking for help! 925 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,492 I don't know no Carlos. Fuck off! 926 00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:03,374 Come on, man, our friend got kidnapped by the cartel! 927 00:48:03,589 --> 00:48:05,421 Ohh! 928 00:48:05,633 --> 00:48:08,216 Hey, that's my manhood you got that shit pointing at. 929 00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:11,465 Jon, put away the fucking guns, man, we're cool! 930 00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:17,806 - What the fuck is going on? - IDs now. 931 00:48:24,568 --> 00:48:26,685 Come on, Jon, we're cool. 932 00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:28,770 Hey, you're Americans. 933 00:48:28,989 --> 00:48:30,480 No shit, can we just come in? 934 00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:35,193 Boy's a genius. 935 00:48:37,540 --> 00:48:38,906 Come on, get in there! 936 00:48:40,292 --> 00:48:43,035 This motherfucker's in his underwear. 937 00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:46,372 All right, take a seat, tell me your story. 938 00:48:46,590 --> 00:48:48,902 Man, this makes South Central look like Beverly Hills. 939 00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:54,637 Oh, well. 940 00:48:56,183 --> 00:48:57,970 Tell me your story. 941 00:48:58,185 --> 00:49:01,553 All right, we came out here on vacation. 942 00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:03,434 We went to a party. 943 00:49:03,649 --> 00:49:05,732 Cartel members kidnapped our friend. 944 00:49:05,943 --> 00:49:08,276 We were told that you can help us. 945 00:49:11,615 --> 00:49:15,279 You want me to light that dog dick you puffin' on? 946 00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:16,735 I don't smoke. 947 00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:18,820 How do you know it's the cartel? 948 00:49:18,998 --> 00:49:20,955 The guy at the police station told us... 949 00:49:21,167 --> 00:49:23,159 Heh heh heh heh heh! 950 00:49:23,377 --> 00:49:25,915 - What are you doing? - Ha. 951 00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:29,874 You can't go to the police. Are you fucking crazy? 952 00:49:30,092 --> 00:49:31,583 They don't do anything. 953 00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:34,840 I tried to tell him, man. I got warrants, I told you. 954 00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:37,701 The police stations are connected all over the world. They got computers now. 955 00:49:37,725 --> 00:49:39,682 Thank you, my fellow negro. 956 00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:43,558 I came here in '89. 957 00:49:43,772 --> 00:49:45,809 With Special Ops Division. 958 00:49:46,025 --> 00:49:49,814 Dropped us in the jungle 30 clicks south of Medellin. 959 00:49:56,702 --> 00:50:00,412 Did you just eat that? We've been out here for an hour. 960 00:50:00,623 --> 00:50:03,832 Special search and destroy mission for Pablo Escobar. 961 00:50:04,043 --> 00:50:07,207 - The soccer player, thank you. - Who? 962 00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:09,538 No, man, I'm talking about Pablo Escobar, 963 00:50:09,715 --> 00:50:11,355 the most dangerous drug lord in the world. 964 00:50:11,550 --> 00:50:13,382 You short bus recipient. 965 00:50:13,594 --> 00:50:16,382 That's why the lady was crying at the hotel. 966 00:50:16,597 --> 00:50:19,618 How am I supposed to know there's more than one person in Colombia named Escobar? 967 00:50:19,642 --> 00:50:21,508 Are you sure he did not play soccer? 968 00:50:21,727 --> 00:50:23,969 Man, I don't know. 969 00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:27,185 So there we were, 970 00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:29,106 waiting for our orders. 971 00:50:29,318 --> 00:50:31,310 But they didn't come. 972 00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:34,647 Some asshole in Washington decided to push it back, 973 00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:36,985 so weeks turned into months, months turned into years, 974 00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:40,994 and next thing you know, finally the order comes through. 975 00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:43,663 And, man, we were ready. 976 00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:47,584 And we went in there, quieter than a virgin's queef. 977 00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:51,459 And we took him out on the roof of his own home. 978 00:50:54,260 --> 00:50:57,719 Yeah, but then again, some yahoos in Washington 979 00:50:57,930 --> 00:50:59,216 decided... 980 00:50:59,431 --> 00:51:03,846 to give credit for a job well done 981 00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:05,268 to the Colombian army. 982 00:51:05,479 --> 00:51:07,812 Now, those monkeys... excuse the expression... 983 00:51:08,023 --> 00:51:10,561 wouldn't have been able to find Pablo Escobar 984 00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:12,392 if he was hiding in their own jock strap. 985 00:51:16,156 --> 00:51:17,738 Yeah, well... 986 00:51:17,950 --> 00:51:19,566 So I've been waiting here ever since 987 00:51:19,743 --> 00:51:22,486 to take down the cocaine cartel. 988 00:51:22,705 --> 00:51:26,119 - You want some? - Yes, I do. What is it? 989 00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:28,666 - Urine. - It's what? 990 00:51:28,877 --> 00:51:31,790 - You drinking your own piss? - Oh, hell no! 991 00:51:33,424 --> 00:51:35,632 I couldn't fill this up by myself. 992 00:51:35,843 --> 00:51:40,053 No, I got a couple of guys who go to the bars downtown and fill it up fresh. 993 00:51:40,264 --> 00:51:42,802 Gives your skin a really nice glow. You'd understand that. 994 00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:45,634 Can you help us or what, bro? 995 00:51:45,853 --> 00:51:47,515 Let me ask you a question. 996 00:51:47,730 --> 00:51:50,268 Do you want help getting your friend back 997 00:51:50,482 --> 00:51:52,439 or do you wanna take down the cartel? 998 00:51:52,651 --> 00:51:55,018 Look, man, we're willing to do whatever it takes. 999 00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:58,230 We just don't wanna die, if you know what I'm saying. 1000 00:51:58,449 --> 00:51:59,735 We like being alive. 1001 00:51:59,950 --> 00:52:03,864 OK. I will train you. 1002 00:52:05,539 --> 00:52:08,532 But, boys, now is the time 1003 00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:10,993 where you make the decision 1004 00:52:11,211 --> 00:52:14,295 to be man enough to call yourself soldiers. 1005 00:52:14,506 --> 00:52:17,840 Because once you go into this thing, there is no turning back. 1006 00:52:18,052 --> 00:52:21,716 Once you awaken the beast, you better have the balls to slay him. 1007 00:52:24,099 --> 00:52:25,806 "Dinner at the Garden. 1008 00:52:27,561 --> 00:52:29,723 I will send for you. Maria." 1009 00:52:30,898 --> 00:52:32,389 Hmm, what's that? 1010 00:52:32,608 --> 00:52:36,227 "Don't even think about cancelling." 1011 00:52:46,413 --> 00:52:50,828 I cannot believe that you did that to your best friend. 1012 00:52:51,043 --> 00:52:52,409 He probably wanted to kill you. 1013 00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:54,540 Oh, he did. 1014 00:52:54,755 --> 00:52:57,418 Vincent hates it when you mess with his hair, let alone shave it. 1015 00:52:57,633 --> 00:53:01,126 But enough about him. What do you call this again? 1016 00:53:01,345 --> 00:53:03,745 - Carne con salsa de tamarindo. - It's the best one I've had. 1017 00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:05,797 - What did I tell you? Right? - Oh, my God. 1018 00:53:06,016 --> 00:53:08,474 Why do you speak such good English? 1019 00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:10,598 Well, I was born here in Colombia, 1020 00:53:10,813 --> 00:53:13,305 but I was educated in the States. 1021 00:53:13,524 --> 00:53:16,312 Actually, spent most of my life in New York City. 1022 00:53:16,527 --> 00:53:18,268 But I got pretty homesick 1023 00:53:18,487 --> 00:53:20,479 so I decided to come back to be with my father. 1024 00:53:20,698 --> 00:53:23,190 That's... that's really sweet. 1025 00:53:23,409 --> 00:53:25,116 I like you, Kurt. 1026 00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:27,819 I really like you, too, Maria. 1027 00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:31,247 And I'm honored that a woman as beautiful as you 1028 00:53:31,458 --> 00:53:34,792 would want to have a dinner like this with me. 1029 00:53:35,003 --> 00:53:36,995 But I'm a little concerned about your father 1030 00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:39,126 and some of his men. 1031 00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:43,134 Have you seen what goes on here? 1032 00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:45,337 It's not always that pretty. 1033 00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:48,549 Listen, my father gives these men opportunities 1034 00:53:48,767 --> 00:53:52,477 that they would have never received anywhere else in this country. 1035 00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:55,431 He gives them a chance at a good life, you know? 1036 00:53:55,649 --> 00:53:58,232 I'm pretty sure I saw a man ripped in half today. 1037 00:53:58,444 --> 00:54:00,296 They're not always appreciative as they should be. 1038 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:04,439 It's sad. I weep for them. 1039 00:54:04,658 --> 00:54:08,197 I just want you to know that I respect your father. 1040 00:54:08,412 --> 00:54:12,122 I mean, I... I respect him. 1041 00:54:12,332 --> 00:54:13,698 A lot. 1042 00:54:19,256 --> 00:54:20,792 Gracias. 1043 00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:25,718 It doesn't sounds as nice when he says it. 1044 00:54:32,060 --> 00:54:35,053 Goddamn, man, my head fucking is killing me. 1045 00:54:36,774 --> 00:54:38,185 Hey, mornin'. 1046 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,517 Whose idea was it to drink moonshine? 1047 00:54:40,736 --> 00:54:42,853 I didn't drink it, man. 1048 00:54:43,071 --> 00:54:44,778 You and old boy was up singing and dancing 1049 00:54:44,948 --> 00:54:46,484 like y'all was best friends forever. 1050 00:54:46,658 --> 00:54:49,776 You do realize this dude's bat-shit crazy, right? 1051 00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:51,660 Pretty much. 1052 00:54:51,872 --> 00:54:54,580 I'm telling you, Vince, this is like some movie shit. 1053 00:54:54,792 --> 00:54:56,704 And I know how this story goes. 1054 00:54:56,919 --> 00:54:59,332 How does the story go? 1055 00:54:59,546 --> 00:55:02,414 Man, you ain't never seen them Harrison Ford movies? 1056 00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:04,374 You know, he starts out in Washington. 1057 00:55:04,593 --> 00:55:06,425 Then he comes down to South America. 1058 00:55:06,637 --> 00:55:08,094 Next thing you know, all his friends 1059 00:55:08,305 --> 00:55:10,171 get blown up by rockets and shit. 1060 00:55:10,390 --> 00:55:12,177 Keep going. 1061 00:55:12,392 --> 00:55:14,805 They probably already took his ID out his wallet, right? 1062 00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:16,389 Found out his address. 1063 00:55:16,605 --> 00:55:18,847 They probably sent a hit man to his crib in L.A. 1064 00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:21,103 and killed his wife Brenda. 1065 00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:23,025 Let's just go to the embassy, all right? 1066 00:55:23,237 --> 00:55:26,480 It's not like this GI Joe motherfucker gonna be able... 1067 00:55:26,657 --> 00:55:27,898 What the fuck?! 1068 00:55:28,116 --> 00:55:32,235 Never underestimate the element of surprise. 1069 00:55:32,454 --> 00:55:36,243 First lesson: always be aware of your surroundings. 1070 00:55:36,458 --> 00:55:39,121 That was a lesson? 1071 00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:40,998 Yes, it was. 1072 00:55:41,213 --> 00:55:44,752 And training day is just about to begin. 1073 00:55:46,885 --> 00:55:51,220 So you stayed up all night painting yourself like your wall? 1074 00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:54,216 Affirmative. 1075 00:55:56,979 --> 00:56:00,017 Maria and Kurt had grown quite fond of one another, 1076 00:56:00,232 --> 00:56:02,019 but when you're the daughter of the world's 1077 00:56:02,234 --> 00:56:04,100 most notorious drug lord, 1078 00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:06,402 nothing remains a secret for long. 1079 00:56:15,706 --> 00:56:18,574 - Maria! - Luis. 1080 00:56:18,792 --> 00:56:20,937 You should have told me you were going to leave the grounds, 1081 00:56:20,961 --> 00:56:22,623 especially in front of our new employee. 1082 00:56:22,838 --> 00:56:25,626 Luis, always a comandante. 1083 00:56:28,677 --> 00:56:31,260 Kurt, this is one of my father's men, Luis Diego. 1084 00:56:31,471 --> 00:56:33,258 Yep, we've had the pleasure of meeting. 1085 00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:35,139 He showed me his knife collection. 1086 00:56:35,350 --> 00:56:37,967 We need to talk to Señor Kurt. 1087 00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:40,269 Talk to him. 1088 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,472 Not here, in private. 1089 00:56:42,691 --> 00:56:43,852 You can talk to him here 1090 00:56:44,067 --> 00:56:45,524 in front of me and everybody else. 1091 00:56:47,696 --> 00:56:49,107 No, it's OK. 1092 00:56:49,323 --> 00:56:50,689 Are you sure? 1093 00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:53,366 Yeah. I'll be fine. 1094 00:56:53,577 --> 00:56:55,159 Carlo. 1095 00:56:55,370 --> 00:56:56,906 Hey! 1096 00:56:58,415 --> 00:57:01,829 Uhh! Stay! I got this! 1097 00:57:02,044 --> 00:57:05,333 Ow! 1098 00:57:09,927 --> 00:57:12,795 Now, Mr. Pomeroy, 1099 00:57:13,013 --> 00:57:15,881 are you enjoying Garcia's daughter? 1100 00:57:16,099 --> 00:57:19,843 Whoa. That sounds like a loaded question there, buddy. 1101 00:57:29,029 --> 00:57:31,396 I believe that in America... 1102 00:57:31,615 --> 00:57:36,201 the word "buddy" means we're amigos. 1103 00:57:38,413 --> 00:57:41,656 We are no way amigos, you gringo bastard. 1104 00:57:41,875 --> 00:57:42,911 ¿Me entiendes? 1105 00:57:45,003 --> 00:57:48,212 Yeah... I get it. 1106 00:57:48,423 --> 00:57:50,836 Not... not buddies. 1107 00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:53,088 Who are your friends... 1108 00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:56,717 at the policía station asking all the questions? 1109 00:57:56,932 --> 00:57:58,844 I don't know anyone else here. 1110 00:57:59,059 --> 00:58:02,348 Ohhh! 1111 00:58:02,562 --> 00:58:05,430 OK... OK. They're harmless. 1112 00:58:05,649 --> 00:58:08,016 All right? I can talk to them. 1113 00:58:08,235 --> 00:58:10,978 Just let me talk to them, and I'll keep them quiet. 1114 00:58:11,196 --> 00:58:13,404 I'll get them to stop talking to the police. 1115 00:58:13,615 --> 00:58:14,947 Policía is no longer the problem. 1116 00:58:17,661 --> 00:58:22,122 Oh, my God! What the hell is wrong with you people? 1117 00:58:22,332 --> 00:58:23,539 Is killing all you know? 1118 00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:26,584 - What? OK. - Let me tell you this. 1119 00:58:26,795 --> 00:58:29,003 When I find your two amigos, 1120 00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:31,126 I am going to cut their tongues out 1121 00:58:31,341 --> 00:58:32,752 if they are lucky. 1122 00:58:32,968 --> 00:58:34,550 If you touch them, I'll kill you! 1123 00:58:44,604 --> 00:58:45,890 OK! 1124 00:58:46,106 --> 00:58:47,893 Gentlemen, welcome to my training ground. 1125 00:58:48,108 --> 00:58:51,192 You know what we're gonna do here, a little agility training, 1126 00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:53,895 a little bit of speed, and maybe some weapons capability, 1127 00:58:54,114 --> 00:58:56,071 see if we can turn you into some soldiers. 1128 00:58:56,283 --> 00:58:57,615 How's that sound? 1129 00:58:57,826 --> 00:58:59,863 - It's cool. - It's cool, man, let's do it. 1130 00:59:00,078 --> 00:59:03,367 That's cool, man, let's do it... Sir! 1131 00:59:03,582 --> 00:59:05,462 All right, let's go over here. 1132 00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:07,784 Yes, sir. 1133 00:59:08,003 --> 00:59:10,290 Come on, come on! 1134 00:59:10,505 --> 00:59:12,212 Swing it! 1135 00:59:12,424 --> 00:59:16,794 Aaaaah! 1136 00:59:17,012 --> 00:59:19,379 Why would you own such a device?! 1137 00:59:19,598 --> 00:59:21,464 Be a man about it! 1138 00:59:23,268 --> 00:59:24,975 Climb over a wall. 1139 00:59:25,187 --> 00:59:26,928 Aaaah! 1140 00:59:29,649 --> 00:59:31,436 Ugggh! 1141 00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:33,438 Climbin'! 1142 00:59:33,612 --> 00:59:36,355 There's the enemy, Vincent. That's the bomber, get it! 1143 00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:40,692 What? 1144 00:59:40,911 --> 00:59:43,494 Right here we got Niger. 1145 00:59:43,705 --> 00:59:44,912 Niger runs right across 1146 00:59:45,123 --> 00:59:47,831 the same latitude as Colombia, right there. 1147 00:59:48,043 --> 00:59:50,035 What you gonna do when they come after you? 1148 00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:55,623 That isn't how to kill a bird. What are you doin', man?! 1149 00:59:55,842 --> 00:59:57,959 The line goes down here like that. 1150 00:59:58,178 --> 01:00:01,637 Hey! That's where you're comin' in. 1151 01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:03,840 Right, and then if he's coming in here, 1152 01:00:04,059 --> 01:00:05,675 then he's gotta go in there. 1153 01:00:05,894 --> 01:00:08,227 - Right, right here. - He's right in there. 1154 01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:10,238 - Right. - You search for him. 1155 01:00:10,273 --> 01:00:11,953 But if he's gonna be over here... 1156 01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:19,571 Go! 1157 01:00:19,783 --> 01:00:21,274 Yeah! Whoo-hoo! 1158 01:00:21,493 --> 01:00:22,779 Yeah! 1159 01:00:26,331 --> 01:00:28,448 You bitches! 1160 01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:34,545 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 1161 01:00:54,151 --> 01:00:57,690 It is my honor to go into battle with you. 1162 01:00:57,904 --> 01:00:59,566 You are my brethren. 1163 01:00:59,781 --> 01:01:04,901 And one of our own is captive by the poison 1164 01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:06,782 that is the cartel. 1165 01:01:06,955 --> 01:01:09,493 We need to rescue our friend. 1166 01:01:09,708 --> 01:01:12,997 We need to bring him back to the nest. 1167 01:01:15,213 --> 01:01:16,749 Let's do it. 1168 01:01:16,965 --> 01:01:18,126 Hoo-yah! 1169 01:01:18,341 --> 01:01:19,673 Haaaa! 1170 01:01:23,054 --> 01:01:26,843 All right, gentlemen, let me get a picture for posterity. 1171 01:01:27,058 --> 01:01:28,344 I just have to say one thing. 1172 01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:30,080 There's only one thing you need to know 1173 01:01:30,145 --> 01:01:33,855 to keep from getting killed in battle, OK? 1174 01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:38,935 And that rule is, you must never, and I mean never... 1175 01:01:39,154 --> 01:01:41,487 Oh, my God! 1176 01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:42,779 God damn! 1177 01:01:42,991 --> 01:01:45,233 Oh, my God, I'm gonna throw up! 1178 01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:49,245 Man, this shit is fucked up. 1179 01:01:49,456 --> 01:01:51,493 We ain't cut out for this shit, Vincent. 1180 01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:54,621 Don't even go there, man. This is what Jon trained us for. 1181 01:01:54,836 --> 01:01:57,328 It's not like the movies like you're always talking about. 1182 01:01:57,547 --> 01:01:59,459 It's not like we're gonna show up, man, 1183 01:01:59,674 --> 01:02:02,963 and there's gonna be a mansion with guys in suits and Uzis and shit. 1184 01:02:03,178 --> 01:02:06,046 We'll go in there and kick the door down L.A. style. 1185 01:02:06,264 --> 01:02:08,802 Man, why you bullshittin' yourself and me? 1186 01:02:09,017 --> 01:02:12,636 That motherfucker was Special Forces, Marine Corps, 1187 01:02:12,854 --> 01:02:15,813 crazy son of a bitch, and he got killed by a Mexican bitch 1188 01:02:16,024 --> 01:02:17,304 in a motherfucking chicken truck. 1189 01:02:17,484 --> 01:02:20,147 Man, have you ever seen Breaking Bad? 1190 01:02:20,362 --> 01:02:22,524 Two regular dudes, right? Come on. 1191 01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,573 Then they became bad asses and started cappin' people. 1192 01:02:25,784 --> 01:02:27,571 That's exactly what we could do. 1193 01:02:27,786 --> 01:02:29,527 That was a TV show. 1194 01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:32,830 And it took 'em four seasons to become bad asses. 1195 01:02:33,041 --> 01:02:36,079 I've been a screw-up, bro, ever since we were kids, man. 1196 01:02:36,294 --> 01:02:39,207 I've never achieved anything I set out to do, 1197 01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:42,665 and I know that, man, I just kept bullshittin' people. 1198 01:02:42,884 --> 01:02:44,921 But right now, if I don't go get Kurt back, 1199 01:02:45,136 --> 01:02:48,095 this is all my fault, man, this is my chance. 1200 01:02:48,306 --> 01:02:52,175 This is your chance, man. What have you got to go back to? 1201 01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:54,431 Come on, man, you look good. Look at you. 1202 01:02:54,646 --> 01:02:56,638 You're holding guns and shit. 1203 01:02:58,858 --> 01:03:01,976 All right, I hear you, motherfucker, you know. 1204 01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,438 We do got guns and shit. Shit, I got a couple of grenades right here. 1205 01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:08,017 That's what I'm... Do you even know how to use those things? 1206 01:03:08,159 --> 01:03:11,698 No, but I can hit a motherfucker in the head long-distance. 1207 01:03:15,375 --> 01:03:16,832 What's he saying? 1208 01:03:17,043 --> 01:03:19,706 I think he's saying we can pick up the dead body now. 1209 01:03:19,921 --> 01:03:23,380 What do you mean, man? He's not going anywhere. We'll get him when we come back. 1210 01:03:23,591 --> 01:03:25,236 Think about it. 1211 01:03:25,260 --> 01:03:26,546 Let's get the fuck out of here. 1212 01:03:28,930 --> 01:03:31,513 With their fearless leader now roadkill, 1213 01:03:31,725 --> 01:03:35,765 Vincent and Chris continue on their quest to rescue Kurt. 1214 01:03:40,317 --> 01:03:43,435 I'm tired, man. This must be it. 1215 01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:46,111 Why don't you make a fire, man, and I'll shoot some food. 1216 01:03:46,323 --> 01:03:48,406 Man, you truly are an ignorant motherfucker. 1217 01:03:48,616 --> 01:03:51,984 Why don't you just shoot a flare in the air so they can come over here and kill us? 1218 01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:55,655 - I don't understand. - Garcia's house is up the hill, fool. 1219 01:03:55,874 --> 01:03:57,957 I don't know anything about this woods shit, man. 1220 01:03:58,168 --> 01:04:00,205 I refused to be in the Boy Scouts growing up. 1221 01:04:00,420 --> 01:04:02,377 - Fuck that. - Refused? 1222 01:04:02,589 --> 01:04:04,125 Yeah. 1223 01:04:04,341 --> 01:04:07,084 What you got against the Boy Scouts of America? 1224 01:04:07,302 --> 01:04:08,838 You better think about it. 1225 01:04:09,054 --> 01:04:11,842 All those old men taking them young boys to the woods, 1226 01:04:12,057 --> 01:04:13,798 not allowing any little girls to go... 1227 01:04:16,603 --> 01:04:20,517 Teaching them to "tie knots" and be "Webelos." 1228 01:04:20,732 --> 01:04:24,191 Hmm-mm. Whole thing sounds like an underground gay farm to me, I'm out. 1229 01:04:24,402 --> 01:04:27,019 That's the smartest shit you said all week. 1230 01:04:30,825 --> 01:04:33,568 - We've got a special sauce. - Piss-off. 1231 01:04:35,288 --> 01:04:36,745 Look at this, man. 1232 01:04:36,956 --> 01:04:38,788 Shed some light on the subject. 1233 01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:44,871 - That'll work, that'll work. - Jackpot. Food. 1234 01:04:45,090 --> 01:04:48,208 That's what I'm talkin' about. 1235 01:04:48,426 --> 01:04:51,169 You know what? This dude's got forks. 1236 01:04:51,388 --> 01:04:53,115 - Thank you. - That's what I'm talkin' about. 1237 01:04:53,139 --> 01:04:55,472 He might be dead, but he was a, uh... 1238 01:04:55,683 --> 01:05:00,018 he was a proper dead man, leaving his friends some stuff. 1239 01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:03,644 - Look, man, don't play hard-ass. - What you talkin' about, man? 1240 01:05:03,858 --> 01:05:06,896 You have not talked about your wife leaving you 1241 01:05:07,112 --> 01:05:08,728 one time this entire trip. 1242 01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:12,694 Come on, now. You need... You need me to hug you? 1243 01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:15,071 Do you want me to... I will... 1244 01:05:15,286 --> 01:05:16,697 You see that? 1245 01:05:16,913 --> 01:05:18,575 You can put your head right there. 1246 01:05:18,790 --> 01:05:22,909 Love is a four-letter word, like fuck and shit. 1247 01:05:23,128 --> 01:05:24,539 Just something you gotta do. 1248 01:05:31,803 --> 01:05:33,760 I was in love once. 1249 01:05:33,972 --> 01:05:35,964 Shoot him, man, shoot him! He's a fuckin' zombie! 1250 01:05:36,182 --> 01:05:39,846 I remember it like it was yesterday. 1251 01:05:40,061 --> 01:05:43,145 She was the most beautiful girl in the world. 1252 01:05:43,356 --> 01:05:46,349 It was in Vietnam. 1253 01:05:46,568 --> 01:05:49,026 And the minute we looked into each other's eyes... 1254 01:05:51,448 --> 01:05:52,814 it was love. 1255 01:05:55,535 --> 01:05:58,073 We were going to love each other forever. 1256 01:06:01,708 --> 01:06:05,793 Yeah, of course, I only knew her for 15 seconds. 1257 01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:13,005 She was my opponent in a Russian roulette game. 1258 01:06:13,219 --> 01:06:14,380 She lost. 1259 01:06:14,596 --> 01:06:16,508 Aaaaah! 1260 01:06:16,723 --> 01:06:19,090 What was her name? 1261 01:06:23,271 --> 01:06:25,263 I'm gonna call her Biglet. 1262 01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:30,476 Biglet! 1263 01:06:34,115 --> 01:06:38,576 I tried to put her brains back in her head, but... 1264 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:42,196 that doesn't always work. 1265 01:06:42,457 --> 01:06:43,698 Hardly ever. 1266 01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:46,500 Man, your motherfucking ass was dead. 1267 01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:49,661 He's right, man, you were dead. 1268 01:06:49,839 --> 01:06:52,547 I can't die. 1269 01:06:52,759 --> 01:06:56,093 You was dead, motherfucker. You got hit by a chicken truck. 1270 01:06:56,304 --> 01:06:58,421 You guys want to get to business now? 1271 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:02,884 OK, first I gotta pee. 1272 01:07:03,102 --> 01:07:05,435 When we approach the mansion, 1273 01:07:05,647 --> 01:07:08,390 we got to approach from the east side. 1274 01:07:08,608 --> 01:07:12,852 There's an outcropping of rocks. It's great cover. 1275 01:07:13,071 --> 01:07:18,112 And, as I was trying to tell you before I got run over by a chicken truck... 1276 01:07:59,158 --> 01:08:03,277 Señor Garcia, we all want the same things. 1277 01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:06,614 But your new associate here is asking for things 1278 01:08:06,833 --> 01:08:08,870 that are not reasonable. 1279 01:08:09,085 --> 01:08:10,496 Not reasonable? 1280 01:08:12,714 --> 01:08:14,876 Mr. Pomeroy just spent the last hour 1281 01:08:15,091 --> 01:08:17,424 explaining the newest and the best option 1282 01:08:17,635 --> 01:08:22,005 to cut our distribution losses by 75%. 1283 01:08:22,223 --> 01:08:24,636 And you say it's not reasonable. 1284 01:08:32,275 --> 01:08:37,111 Felix, your men are imbeciles. 1285 01:08:37,322 --> 01:08:42,033 Yes, they our cowboys with no class. 1286 01:08:42,243 --> 01:08:44,360 And your country is killing our distribution 1287 01:08:44,579 --> 01:08:46,787 because you idiots are killing each other 1288 01:08:46,998 --> 01:08:50,332 like a bunch of uneducated Compton gang members. 1289 01:08:50,543 --> 01:08:52,284 No... 1290 01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:55,455 No, you have no control over your men. 1291 01:08:55,673 --> 01:09:01,294 Your ignorance is putting all of us and our money at risk. 1292 01:09:03,014 --> 01:09:07,008 Señor Garcia, you do not know how difficult it is 1293 01:09:07,226 --> 01:09:09,764 to move product in Mexico now. 1294 01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:13,893 We have to open up the lines of distribution by using force. 1295 01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:18,068 You wanted a bigger cut so you stopped selling us your cocaine 1296 01:09:18,279 --> 01:09:21,238 and started leasing us to move it for you. 1297 01:09:21,449 --> 01:09:23,782 If you don't like the way we do business, 1298 01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:27,111 we could go back to buying your product wholesale. 1299 01:09:27,330 --> 01:09:30,289 That way you would not have to worry about the distribution. 1300 01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:34,335 Very, very interesting. 1301 01:09:34,545 --> 01:09:39,506 Felix Santos is telling me how to run my business. 1302 01:09:42,053 --> 01:09:44,215 You Mexicans. 1303 01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:47,218 You're just a pawn in this chess game. 1304 01:09:47,433 --> 01:09:50,471 The problem is that you all want to be kings. 1305 01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:55,148 Right here is your king. Don't forget who your king is. 1306 01:09:55,358 --> 01:09:58,522 Juanito. 1307 01:09:58,736 --> 01:10:03,276 You do not realize how important we are to your... "kingdom." 1308 01:10:05,702 --> 01:10:08,035 Without us, you will be struggling 1309 01:10:08,246 --> 01:10:11,990 to even get your product into the United States. 1310 01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:14,416 And you, Mr. Pomeroy... 1311 01:10:16,462 --> 01:10:20,797 your idea of 25 747s into Canada 1312 01:10:21,008 --> 01:10:23,170 and then rerouting them into the southern states, 1313 01:10:23,386 --> 01:10:26,003 it's... it's too costly. 1314 01:10:26,222 --> 01:10:28,430 Maybe you're right. 1315 01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:31,133 Maybe we will lose less product overall, 1316 01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:34,595 but we need more manpower as it is. 1317 01:10:36,190 --> 01:10:40,184 But, Juan, must you not forget 1318 01:10:40,403 --> 01:10:42,756 that battling the three-headed monster that is the United States 1319 01:10:42,780 --> 01:10:44,692 is hard enough. 1320 01:10:44,907 --> 01:10:47,274 If you choose to disrespect me, 1321 01:10:47,493 --> 01:10:49,610 and our efforts, 1322 01:10:49,829 --> 01:10:52,162 you will be adding one more head to that monster. 1323 01:11:01,340 --> 01:11:05,550 King, learn to respect your pawns, 1324 01:11:05,762 --> 01:11:08,550 for they are the largest army on the chess board. 1325 01:11:14,145 --> 01:11:18,230 Luis, I think Mr. Santos and his body guards 1326 01:11:18,441 --> 01:11:20,854 have overstayed their welcome. 1327 01:11:21,068 --> 01:11:23,230 Consider it done. 1328 01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:24,778 Gracias. 1329 01:11:29,744 --> 01:11:34,079 Mr. Pomeroy, tomorrow morning we are going to Mexico City 1330 01:11:34,332 --> 01:11:37,291 to meet our new distribution. 1331 01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:53,094 Maria! 1332 01:11:58,231 --> 01:12:00,018 - Maria! - Kurt. 1333 01:12:00,233 --> 01:12:02,646 Look, uh... 1334 01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:06,024 - We're going horseback riding, want to join us? - Horses? No, no. 1335 01:12:06,239 --> 01:12:07,571 Absolutely not. 1336 01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:10,946 Look, there's been a problem. I, uh... 1337 01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:14,198 I just saw your father and Felix Santos, they got into an argument, 1338 01:12:14,413 --> 01:12:17,326 and I'm pretty sure Diego is on his way to kill Santos and his men. 1339 01:12:19,669 --> 01:12:21,956 Did you not just hear what I said? 1340 01:12:22,171 --> 01:12:25,084 Yeah, you were rambling on about Santos or something. 1341 01:12:25,299 --> 01:12:28,542 - Do you not like me anymore? - I like you so much. 1342 01:12:28,761 --> 01:12:30,921 I mean, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 1343 01:12:31,013 --> 01:12:34,097 It's just that... these people, they're killing each other 1344 01:12:34,308 --> 01:12:37,472 on a daily basis and... it's insane. 1345 01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:40,646 You are so cute when you're nervous. 1346 01:12:40,857 --> 01:12:42,689 Well, you... 1347 01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:45,017 you remember my two friends I told you about? 1348 01:12:45,236 --> 01:12:48,445 - Uh, Vincent and Christopher? - Your gringos? 1349 01:12:48,656 --> 01:12:51,069 Those gringos, the ones that have been going to the police 1350 01:12:51,284 --> 01:12:53,492 and telling them about me being missing 'cause I'm here. 1351 01:12:53,703 --> 01:12:57,743 Uh, and I'm pretty sure that Diego is gonna either kill them 1352 01:12:57,957 --> 01:13:00,950 or the United States is gonna send someone here to find me. 1353 01:13:01,168 --> 01:13:03,251 Either way, it's gonna end bad for us. 1354 01:13:03,462 --> 01:13:05,624 My father will handle them all. 1355 01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:07,877 You are safe here. 1356 01:13:08,092 --> 01:13:11,506 I don't want them handled, I want them alive, they're my friends! 1357 01:13:11,721 --> 01:13:13,963 You don't need them anymore. 1358 01:13:14,181 --> 01:13:17,299 You have a new family here. 1359 01:13:17,518 --> 01:13:19,851 Now, let's go horseback riding. 1360 01:13:20,062 --> 01:13:23,430 Uh... I gotta go change. I'll be right back. 1361 01:13:28,988 --> 01:13:31,731 I'm gonna have to kill him. 1362 01:13:31,949 --> 01:13:33,315 Aren't I? 1363 01:13:33,534 --> 01:13:35,947 Oh, Blanca... 1364 01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:37,577 probably. 1365 01:13:58,684 --> 01:14:00,892 Which way we headed? 1366 01:14:01,103 --> 01:14:02,890 This things says north. 1367 01:14:03,105 --> 01:14:06,519 So like northwest right there. That should be it. 1368 01:14:06,734 --> 01:14:08,100 Hey, man, look. 1369 01:14:08,319 --> 01:14:10,606 Moss grows on the north side of the trees. 1370 01:14:10,821 --> 01:14:12,232 Learned that in Boy Scouts. 1371 01:14:12,448 --> 01:14:14,940 Well, why don't you go look for some fuckin' moss 1372 01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:17,651 on the north side of the trees and I'm gonna use technology, 1373 01:14:17,828 --> 01:14:18,944 and we'll meet there? 1374 01:14:19,163 --> 01:14:20,620 I'll never find your ass. 1375 01:14:20,831 --> 01:14:22,413 Look, man, I somehow got service. 1376 01:14:22,625 --> 01:14:24,332 I can't get it in the middle of L.A., 1377 01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:27,040 but I damn sure get it out here, I'm using this. 1378 01:14:29,548 --> 01:14:31,881 Unbeknownst to our heroes, 1379 01:14:32,093 --> 01:14:36,053 the Colombian army was already mobilizing against the cartel. 1380 01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:20,926 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 1381 01:15:21,142 --> 01:15:23,885 What, you mental midget motherfucker? 1382 01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:27,062 Thought there weren't gonna be nobody in suits and shit. 1383 01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:30,186 Who fuckin' thought they'd be walkin' around in suits, man? 1384 01:15:30,401 --> 01:15:32,939 You think a guy's job, he goes home, changes clothes, 1385 01:15:33,154 --> 01:15:36,773 and goes, "Fuckin' relieve the next guy who walks around in a suit with an Uzi"? 1386 01:15:36,991 --> 01:15:39,779 You got a problem, man. You got a motherfucking problem. 1387 01:15:39,994 --> 01:15:42,532 This look like a Scarface reunion up in here, man. 1388 01:15:42,747 --> 01:15:44,739 We ain't built for this shit, I'm tellin' ya. 1389 01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:48,621 - I'm bouncin', I'm gettin' the fuck up outta here. - No, man. 1390 01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:51,044 Shut up. 1391 01:15:53,007 --> 01:15:56,876 It's a Mexican on a bicycle, man, with a box. 1392 01:15:57,094 --> 01:15:58,210 Let me see that. 1393 01:15:58,429 --> 01:16:00,011 Let me see the motherfuckers, man. 1394 01:16:00,222 --> 01:16:02,134 Here, hold this. Stay on point, man. 1395 01:16:02,349 --> 01:16:04,119 - I trained with this gun. - Shut the fuck up. 1396 01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:05,743 Pull the trigger, that's all, it's a gun. 1397 01:16:05,936 --> 01:16:07,097 Bang-bang, motherfucker. 1398 01:16:08,689 --> 01:16:10,351 I'll be goddamn. 1399 01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:14,230 Sellin' a box of oranges at a motherfucking cartel crib. 1400 01:16:14,445 --> 01:16:17,108 Gimme the gun. 1401 01:16:17,323 --> 01:16:19,815 What the fuck is that? 1402 01:16:20,034 --> 01:16:22,242 - I don't know, man. - Play dead, play dead! 1403 01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:26,037 Play dead? This your motherfucking idea of "play dead"? 1404 01:16:26,248 --> 01:16:29,161 I didn't come here to do a no motherfucking Machiavelli. 1405 01:16:29,376 --> 01:16:31,288 - Shut the fuck up! - You mensch. 1406 01:16:31,504 --> 01:16:32,711 Mensch! 1407 01:16:35,549 --> 01:16:37,509 Just laying you down into this motherfucking shit. 1408 01:16:37,718 --> 01:16:39,334 - OK. - Motherfucker. 1409 01:16:39,553 --> 01:16:41,545 Like we been trained, let's kill somebody. 1410 01:16:41,764 --> 01:16:43,630 Somebody got to die with this bitch. 1411 01:16:46,185 --> 01:16:47,596 Where'd he go? 1412 01:16:51,273 --> 01:16:54,266 They pulled out a freakin' head. They pulled a fuckin' head out. 1413 01:16:54,485 --> 01:16:56,101 Hold the gun, motherfucker. 1414 01:17:01,951 --> 01:17:04,284 We need an extra brain, motherfucker. 1415 01:17:04,495 --> 01:17:07,238 Let's go get the head. Maybe he can think of some better shit. 1416 01:17:07,456 --> 01:17:08,947 A dead man think better planning. 1417 01:17:09,166 --> 01:17:11,749 Just go, crawl, crawl! Come on! 1418 01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:16,080 Diego. 1419 01:17:18,092 --> 01:17:19,253 What? 1420 01:17:19,468 --> 01:17:20,675 What the hell? 1421 01:17:28,686 --> 01:17:30,473 Vincent, Christopher! 1422 01:17:32,523 --> 01:17:34,355 You guys are gonna get yourselves killed. 1423 01:17:37,778 --> 01:17:40,896 Hey! Maria! 1424 01:17:41,115 --> 01:17:45,280 Maria! Hi! I need to talk to her, just for a second. 1425 01:17:45,494 --> 01:17:48,658 Maria... Holy shit, you look amazing. 1426 01:17:48,873 --> 01:17:50,409 I love leather and Japanese anime. 1427 01:17:52,084 --> 01:17:54,622 That's, um... That's a Mexican cartel. 1428 01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:56,606 They killed Diego. We have to get out of here. 1429 01:17:56,630 --> 01:17:59,338 I know, that's why I'm preparing to kill Santos myself. 1430 01:18:01,177 --> 01:18:03,214 Wait, sit down, sit down. 1431 01:18:04,930 --> 01:18:07,718 My friends are here, all right? You can come with us. 1432 01:18:07,933 --> 01:18:10,141 You, too. Or not. 1433 01:18:10,352 --> 01:18:12,844 - Your friends? - Yeah, Vincent and Christopher? 1434 01:18:13,022 --> 01:18:16,060 They're alive, all right? Come with us, I'll protect you. 1435 01:18:16,275 --> 01:18:18,767 You dirty gringos. 1436 01:18:18,986 --> 01:18:22,354 You think you can come here and take our business and our home? 1437 01:18:22,573 --> 01:18:24,610 What? It's not like that at all. 1438 01:18:55,522 --> 01:18:56,763 Yaaaa! 1439 01:19:10,162 --> 01:19:11,494 Kurt, come on! 1440 01:19:11,705 --> 01:19:13,446 Come on so we can get the hell outta here! 1441 01:19:15,251 --> 01:19:17,208 Come on! 1442 01:19:17,419 --> 01:19:19,456 - Oh, my God! - Keep your head down. 1443 01:19:19,672 --> 01:19:22,255 Vincent, this is the craziest thing you've ever done to us! 1444 01:19:24,134 --> 01:19:25,670 Get me outta here! 1445 01:19:25,886 --> 01:19:27,878 Who the fuck is the crazy bitch shooting at us? 1446 01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:29,929 Oh, that's Juan Garcia's daughter. 1447 01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:33,842 We're in love; we had the most amazing connection. 1448 01:19:34,061 --> 01:19:36,053 You got a sick motherfucking mind. 1449 01:19:36,272 --> 01:19:39,982 You fall in love with the biggest bitch down here, just like back home. 1450 01:19:40,192 --> 01:19:43,811 I do not think this is the appropriate place or time to be talking about this. 1451 01:19:44,029 --> 01:19:45,816 Shut the fuck up, somebody's gotta shoot her! 1452 01:19:46,031 --> 01:19:49,274 - I love her. - You do realize this bitch is trying to kill us? 1453 01:19:49,493 --> 01:19:51,860 - She's just a little confused. - Well, then text the bitch 1454 01:19:52,037 --> 01:19:53,757 and tell her to quit fucking shooting at us! 1455 01:19:55,416 --> 01:19:57,328 I don't even have her number. 1456 01:19:57,543 --> 01:20:00,911 Chris, you said you could throw a grenade like a baseball, right? 1457 01:20:01,130 --> 01:20:02,621 Motherfuckin' Satchel Paige. 1458 01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:03,921 Throw it! 1459 01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:06,125 - A grenade? - Here, hold this. 1460 01:20:06,343 --> 01:20:08,084 Shut up, man, he won't pull the pin. 1461 01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:10,421 - Seriously? - Seriously. 1462 01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:12,175 You're not gonna hurt her, right? 1463 01:20:12,391 --> 01:20:14,599 I'm gonna bean the bitch and knock her the fuck out. 1464 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:18,224 Listen, I'm gonna create a diversion. You know what a diversion is? 1465 01:20:18,439 --> 01:20:20,897 Yeah, that's when one motherfucker do some crazy shit 1466 01:20:21,108 --> 01:20:23,100 so this motherfucker can hit the bitch. 1467 01:20:23,319 --> 01:20:24,319 Yeah. 1468 01:20:24,528 --> 01:20:25,939 Aaaaaah! 1469 01:20:28,574 --> 01:20:30,190 Fuck you, bitch! 1470 01:20:33,954 --> 01:20:36,788 - Oh! - Oh! Uh-huh! 1471 01:20:36,999 --> 01:20:40,083 - Oh, fuck! - What was that? 1472 01:20:40,294 --> 01:20:43,583 - Aaaah! - Get the fuck down! 1473 01:20:43,797 --> 01:20:46,005 You just fuckin' blew that pussy up! 1474 01:20:47,676 --> 01:20:50,840 - That's Juan Garcia! - That's him? 1475 01:20:51,055 --> 01:20:52,967 - That's the man! - The money! Go! 1476 01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:55,390 Move! 1477 01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:57,183 Wait for me! 1478 01:21:32,137 --> 01:21:36,051 Put the gun down! Put the fucking gun down! 1479 01:21:36,266 --> 01:21:37,632 Put it down! 1480 01:21:37,851 --> 01:21:39,451 - Did you see that? - We don't... 1481 01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:44,105 - Goddamn! - You a killer now, motherfucker. 1482 01:21:44,316 --> 01:21:46,023 Come on, let's go, this way! 1483 01:21:55,994 --> 01:21:59,032 Goddamn, we're becoming bad asses. This is fuckin' fun! 1484 01:21:59,248 --> 01:22:01,456 Hey, watch your motherfucking gun! 1485 01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:02,786 Come on! 1486 01:22:07,256 --> 01:22:09,213 Where are you going, motherfucker? 1487 01:22:12,094 --> 01:22:13,835 Maria! 1488 01:22:14,054 --> 01:22:17,013 - You all right, man? - No, but throw the other grenade! 1489 01:22:17,224 --> 01:22:18,340 Get up! 1490 01:22:22,813 --> 01:22:25,021 Get it, Chris! 1491 01:22:25,232 --> 01:22:27,690 iBomba! 1492 01:22:29,069 --> 01:22:31,106 Stay here, on the ground! 1493 01:22:31,321 --> 01:22:34,689 iBomba, bomba! 1494 01:22:34,908 --> 01:22:37,821 Freeze, motherfucker, freeze! 1495 01:22:38,036 --> 01:22:41,871 Now, you can calm down, man. Think we got him. 1496 01:22:42,082 --> 01:22:43,493 They did it. 1497 01:22:43,709 --> 01:22:46,247 These three nitwits... uh, I mean heroes... 1498 01:22:46,462 --> 01:22:49,500 actually captured the world's most wanted criminal. 1499 01:22:49,715 --> 01:22:51,297 I'm not even sure there's anybody left. 1500 01:22:51,508 --> 01:22:53,795 No, we killed all these motherfuckers. 1501 01:22:54,011 --> 01:22:56,219 Maybe we should, uh, call the embassy. 1502 01:22:56,430 --> 01:22:59,264 Yeah. Yeah, it's that time. 1503 01:22:59,475 --> 01:23:02,138 I think you motherfuckers need to call an ambulance, man. 1504 01:23:02,352 --> 01:23:04,184 Hey, man, get in the back, man. 1505 01:23:04,396 --> 01:23:06,934 Get up! Get up, motherfucker, get up! 1506 01:23:07,149 --> 01:23:09,391 - All right. - You heard the man. 1507 01:23:09,610 --> 01:23:11,067 Where is Maria? 1508 01:23:11,278 --> 01:23:13,019 No! Get the fuck back! 1509 01:23:13,238 --> 01:23:15,730 - Where am I goin'? - You're standing right here. 1510 01:23:15,949 --> 01:23:18,066 - I got him. Get in. - What are you doing? 1511 01:23:18,285 --> 01:23:20,197 Don't be shoving that motherfucker on me! 1512 01:23:20,412 --> 01:23:21,948 - Go on, get in. - Maria! 1513 01:23:22,164 --> 01:23:25,248 - What did you do to my Maria? - Your Maria's dead! 1514 01:23:25,459 --> 01:23:28,543 I got that bitch's pussy in my pocket, I'm gonna fuck it later. 1515 01:23:28,754 --> 01:23:30,607 - Maria! - Sit down! 1516 01:23:44,561 --> 01:23:47,929 So that is when Mr. Pomeroy decided to stay in Colombia 1517 01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:51,141 and now runs one of the most controversial drug cartels in history. 1518 01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:53,192 Yes, the Brighter Day cartel 1519 01:23:53,362 --> 01:23:55,228 still produces and distributes cocaine 1520 01:23:55,447 --> 01:23:57,564 but they do it in a very different way. 1521 01:23:57,783 --> 01:24:01,026 Most of the money is used to build better schools and housing 1522 01:24:01,245 --> 01:24:03,237 in the countries of Mexico and Colombia. 1523 01:24:03,455 --> 01:24:06,539 A logo for the cartel, a new marketing department, 1524 01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:08,199 employee benefits... 1525 01:24:08,377 --> 01:24:10,744 makes this not your everyday cartel. 1526 01:24:10,963 --> 01:24:13,546 The Brighter Day cartel is estimated to have surpassed 1527 01:24:13,757 --> 01:24:15,339 all other cartels in total revenue, 1528 01:24:15,551 --> 01:24:19,090 although specific numbers will never be released to the public. 1529 01:24:19,304 --> 01:24:21,887 In parting, we asked Kurt Pomeroy 1530 01:24:22,099 --> 01:24:24,136 why he does what he does. 1531 01:24:26,603 --> 01:24:30,017 I would ultimately say I get high helping others, 1532 01:24:30,232 --> 01:24:33,020 because others got high. 1533 01:24:33,235 --> 01:24:34,955 So there you have it... 1534 01:24:34,987 --> 01:24:36,827 Looks good with a mustache, don't he? 1535 01:24:36,947 --> 01:24:38,779 Yeah, he does, man. I like that. 1536 01:24:38,991 --> 01:24:40,732 So, there you have it. 1537 01:24:40,951 --> 01:24:42,567 One of the greatest stories ever told. 1538 01:24:42,786 --> 01:24:44,277 Well, not really. 1539 01:24:44,496 --> 01:24:47,864 But I'm sure you'll find some moral to this story 1540 01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:50,621 that you can live your life by, or some such nonsense. 1541 01:24:50,836 --> 01:24:54,375 And if not, honestly, who really gives a shit? 1542 01:24:54,590 --> 01:24:56,270 Fazi is the newest leader 1543 01:24:56,466 --> 01:24:58,549 of the Taliban in Afghanistan and now number one 1544 01:24:58,760 --> 01:25:01,093 on the United States' most-wanted list. 1545 01:25:01,305 --> 01:25:05,174 A reward for tens of millions of dollars is being offered for his capture. 1546 01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:09,011 US officials say Fazi should be considered extremely dangerous. 1547 01:25:09,229 --> 01:25:11,596 - What's wrong? - And now in other news... 1548 01:25:11,773 --> 01:25:14,390 Yo, you hear this? 1549 01:25:16,403 --> 01:25:18,440 Yeah, I heard it. 1550 01:25:18,655 --> 01:25:20,317 You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? 1551 01:25:20,532 --> 01:25:23,775 I think you have lost your mind. You got shot! 1552 01:25:23,994 --> 01:25:26,361 - Who cares? We're still here. - Vincent! 1553 01:25:26,580 --> 01:25:28,196 It ain't happening, man. 1554 01:25:28,457 --> 01:25:30,619 Why can't you just enjoy the money? 1555 01:25:30,834 --> 01:25:33,668 Man, are you not surrounded by some beautiful girls because of it? 1556 01:25:33,879 --> 01:25:35,836 That's exactly why I don't want to do 1557 01:25:36,048 --> 01:25:38,210 what I think you're thinking about us doing. 1558 01:25:38,425 --> 01:25:40,963 I'm gonna stay right here with the beautiful ladies. 1559 01:25:41,178 --> 01:25:45,092 I need deep tissue before the retarded child comes up with another idea 1560 01:25:45,307 --> 01:25:48,141 that I ain't down with, by the way. 1561 01:25:48,352 --> 01:25:51,470 I'm just asking you to think about it. 1562 01:25:54,441 --> 01:25:55,932 It is a whole lot of money. 1563 01:26:00,447 --> 01:26:02,655 ♪ California 1564 01:26:02,866 --> 01:26:04,448 ♪ Let's have a party 1565 01:26:04,660 --> 01:26:05,660 ♪ Shake it down 1566 01:26:05,869 --> 01:26:07,360 ♪ California 1567 01:26:07,579 --> 01:26:09,946 ♪ Knows how to party 1568 01:26:10,165 --> 01:26:12,202 ♪ In the city... 1569 01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:13,908 Ohh! 1570 01:26:23,929 --> 01:26:25,295 Chris! 1571 01:26:25,514 --> 01:26:26,925 Vincent! 1572 01:26:28,266 --> 01:26:30,474 You guys... 1573 01:26:30,686 --> 01:26:32,848 Gosh, almighty, I only stepped on a land mine. 1574 01:26:33,063 --> 01:26:35,055 It didn't kill me, pussies. 1575 01:26:35,232 --> 01:26:36,768 Where did you go? 1576 01:26:36,983 --> 01:26:38,940 Abandoned me? 1577 01:26:39,152 --> 01:26:40,768 God almighty. 1578 01:26:42,197 --> 01:26:44,109 Ooh! 1579 01:26:44,324 --> 01:26:45,531 This is like... 1580 01:26:45,742 --> 01:26:48,325 I once had the Siberian Itch. 1581 01:26:48,537 --> 01:26:50,574 I had the Siberian Itch. 1582 01:26:52,916 --> 01:26:55,124 I had the Siberian Itch. 1583 01:26:55,335 --> 01:26:57,167 In Saigon. 1584 01:26:57,379 --> 01:26:58,495 Hurts just like that. 1585 01:26:58,714 --> 01:27:03,834 ♪ Living life day by day 1586 01:27:04,052 --> 01:27:09,138 ♪ Fell in love in less than a minute 1587 01:27:09,349 --> 01:27:10,931 ♪ Just one look... 1588 01:27:11,143 --> 01:27:14,102 Oh, I wish I had stuffed in a couple other clothes. 1589 01:27:14,312 --> 01:27:16,679 ♪ Hey-ey 1590 01:27:16,898 --> 01:27:18,890 ♪ I met you there 1591 01:27:19,109 --> 01:27:22,477 ♪ On a dark and rainy night 1592 01:27:22,696 --> 01:27:24,028 ♪ The air so thick 1593 01:27:24,239 --> 01:27:27,528 ♪ You could cut it with a knife 1594 01:27:27,743 --> 01:27:29,450 ♪ We were bound for glory 1595 01:27:29,661 --> 01:27:33,280 ♪ Took a gamble with our lives 1596 01:27:33,498 --> 01:27:36,332 ♪ Through bamboo fields 1597 01:27:36,543 --> 01:27:40,662 ♪ I ran with you 1598 01:27:42,424 --> 01:27:47,840 ♪ We could've had it all 1599 01:27:48,054 --> 01:27:51,047 ♪ Just to have it all fall 1600 01:27:53,393 --> 01:27:57,558 ♪ You'd be lying in my arms 1601 01:27:57,773 --> 01:28:01,687 ♪ Still lying on the floor 1602 01:28:04,571 --> 01:28:08,815 ♪ My heart breaks... 1603 01:28:11,995 --> 01:28:13,736 ♪ Oh, yeah 1604 01:28:18,627 --> 01:28:23,873 ♪ By her own hand she let the bullet go 1605 01:28:24,090 --> 01:28:29,085 ♪ She never heard the words I said 1606 01:28:29,304 --> 01:28:31,512 ♪ Couldn't use my best lines 1607 01:28:31,723 --> 01:28:34,010 ♪ Didn't have enough time 1608 01:28:34,226 --> 01:28:39,688 ♪ She just blew up in my face 1609 01:28:39,898 --> 01:28:45,189 ♪ The love we had left us wanting so much more 1610 01:28:45,362 --> 01:28:49,857 ♪ Now my blank pages, the story cut so short 1611 01:28:50,075 --> 01:28:52,692 ♪ Yeah 1612 01:28:55,747 --> 01:28:59,081 ♪ We could've had it all 1613 01:29:01,211 --> 01:29:04,670 ♪ Just to have it all fall 1614 01:29:06,341 --> 01:29:10,802 ♪ You'd be lying in my arms 1615 01:29:11,012 --> 01:29:15,052 ♪ Still lying on the floor 1616 01:29:23,733 --> 01:29:27,067 ♪ We could've had it all 1617 01:29:29,281 --> 01:29:32,445 ♪ Just to have it all fall 1618 01:29:34,661 --> 01:29:38,530 ♪ You'd be lying in my arms 1619 01:29:38,790 --> 01:29:43,034 ♪ Still lying on the floor 1620 01:29:45,088 --> 01:29:48,422 ♪ We could've had it all 1621 01:29:50,552 --> 01:29:54,011 ♪ Just to have it all fall 1622 01:29:56,057 --> 01:30:00,267 ♪ You'd be lying in my arms 1623 01:30:00,478 --> 01:30:04,347 ♪ Still lying on the floor 1624 01:30:06,693 --> 01:30:08,229 ♪ Aaaah... 1625 01:30:14,659 --> 01:30:16,742 ♪ Whoo 1626 01:30:21,583 --> 01:30:25,668 ♪ Still lying on the floor ♪ 125021

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