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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,016 --> 00:00:06,006 Hey, guys. It's me. 2 00:00:06,016 --> 00:00:09,006 So, tomorrow begins the trial of the millennium. 3 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,009 It's pretty obvious that Gory Dory is guilty, 4 00:00:12,010 --> 00:00:14,020 so why are we even having this trial? 5 00:00:14,021 --> 00:00:16,001 She should be in jail! 6 00:00:16,005 --> 00:00:18,005 And not to be sexist, but she's pretty ugly, 7 00:00:18,016 --> 00:00:21,006 and she looks like a liberal. 8 00:00:21,012 --> 00:00:24,022 And I'll be interested to see if she ever shuts up! 9 00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:31,013 ♪♪ 10 00:00:31,008 --> 00:00:38,008 ♪♪ 11 00:00:38,016 --> 00:00:43,006 ♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪ 12 00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:46,009 So, this is what I was thinking for the first day. 13 00:00:46,016 --> 00:00:49,996 It's super professional, and it matches 14 00:00:50,003 --> 00:00:53,013 with this suit for Drew! 15 00:00:53,014 --> 00:00:55,024 Yeah, I just feel like, you know, we're gonna look like 16 00:00:56,001 --> 00:00:59,011 some sort of brother-sister cartoon freaks if we match. 17 00:00:59,012 --> 00:01:01,022 You know what, Cassidy? Why don't we take 18 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,017 the responsibility off your shoulders 19 00:01:03,017 --> 00:01:05,007 of dressing us up like little dolls 20 00:01:05,016 --> 00:01:07,016 and focus on your opening statement, 21 00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:11,011 which I, for one, would love to hear. 22 00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:11,999 Mm. [ Chuckles ] 23 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:15,015 Well, this is about us coaching you, 24 00:01:15,022 --> 00:01:17,012 not the other way around. 25 00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:20,021 What's the big deal? 26 00:01:20,017 --> 00:01:21,007 Let's just hear your statement. 27 00:01:21,016 --> 00:01:24,006 Are you not prepared? 28 00:01:24,009 --> 00:01:25,019 Maybe I just don't like being put on the spot. 29 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,998 Well, that's what court is. 30 00:01:28,006 --> 00:01:28,012 Right? 31 00:01:28,014 --> 00:01:31,014 So, come on. 32 00:01:31,012 --> 00:01:34,002 Practice. 33 00:01:34,005 --> 00:01:36,005 Fine. 34 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:38,018 Okay. Oh, God. 35 00:01:38,018 --> 00:01:42,018 So, imagine, if you will, 36 00:01:42,023 --> 00:01:46,013 a little girl on a playground... 37 00:01:46,012 --> 00:01:48,002 swinging on a swing. 38 00:01:48,003 --> 00:01:50,003 Okay, um, I'm sorry, I hate this. 39 00:01:50,003 --> 00:01:53,013 It's not cheesy, but it just feels like it is, 40 00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:54,010 because I feel like I'm under a microscope, 41 00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:57,013 in my own home. 42 00:01:58,014 --> 00:02:03,024 Um, and then there were these small changes in her persona-- 43 00:02:03,019 --> 00:02:04,999 Sorry, I'm just gonna take that line again. 44 00:02:05,006 --> 00:02:10,006 Um, and after that, I noticed changes in her person-- 45 00:02:10,009 --> 00:02:11,009 I'm sorry. I'm just in my head. 46 00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:13,017 I'm usually so amazing at learning lines. 47 00:02:13,023 --> 00:02:16,023 I just -- It's just very weird playing myself. 48 00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:19,021 Totally. But remember, you don't have to be perfect up there. 49 00:02:19,018 --> 00:02:20,008 You're a human being. 50 00:02:20,012 --> 00:02:22,012 You have every right to be nervous. 51 00:02:22,015 --> 00:02:24,015 Well, it kind of does have to be perfect, alright? 52 00:02:24,023 --> 00:02:27,003 So, you know, I guess I would just ask 53 00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:31,023 for you to just deal with the pressure. 54 00:02:31,022 --> 00:02:34,012 Okay. 55 00:02:34,015 --> 00:02:37,005 Hey, gang. 56 00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:40,007 We're gearing up for a long, hard battle, 57 00:02:40,012 --> 00:02:43,012 and the one gift we can give ourselves is sleep. 58 00:02:43,011 --> 00:02:44,021 Sleep. 59 00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:48,021 Uh, thanks, Bob. Have a good night. 60 00:02:48,017 --> 00:02:53,007 You know, my best friend died five years ago and... 61 00:02:53,015 --> 00:02:56,015 changed the course of my life. 62 00:02:56,019 --> 00:03:00,009 I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Bob. 63 00:03:00,008 --> 00:03:02,998 Life. Live it. 64 00:03:03,002 --> 00:03:04,022 Exploit it. 65 00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:06,010 Take it by the neck and choke it. 66 00:03:06,008 --> 00:03:10,018 You get out of this mess, you guys are gonna be so lucky. 67 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:13,010 And when you are, do something. 68 00:03:13,012 --> 00:03:15,022 Change the world. 69 00:03:15,021 --> 00:03:21,021 Or just, you know, sit back and make some cash, at least. 70 00:03:21,022 --> 00:03:23,002 Good night. 71 00:03:30,021 --> 00:03:34,001 Charlie! Hi! [ Chuckles ] 72 00:03:34,002 --> 00:03:35,012 Oh, I'm so sorry. 73 00:03:35,008 --> 00:03:35,998 Um, I'm a guest on Charlie Reeny's show. 74 00:03:36,003 --> 00:03:37,023 Do you know where I can find her? 75 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,007 Elliott Goss. 76 00:03:40,015 --> 00:03:42,995 [ Chuckling ] Hi! 77 00:03:43,006 --> 00:03:44,006 Oh, my goodness! 78 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,996 Hello! 79 00:03:46,003 --> 00:03:47,013 How are you?! 80 00:03:47,013 --> 00:03:49,023 I'm glad you finally decided to come on my show. 81 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:50,021 Oh, well, thank you so much for having me. 82 00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:53,021 I've seen enough clips of your show to know 83 00:03:53,017 --> 00:03:55,017 that you don't often have the gay coastal elite 84 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:58,017 on as guests, so... 85 00:03:58,021 --> 00:04:00,011 I always like to ask before we start, 86 00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:01,010 are there any no-fly zones? 87 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,017 I try and respect my guests' privacy. 88 00:04:03,019 --> 00:04:06,009 Yes. Um, I tend to be very quiet about my failures, 89 00:04:06,009 --> 00:04:09,999 so if you don't mind, please don't mention my book deal, 90 00:04:10,002 --> 00:04:11,012 which recently crumbled. 91 00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:13,020 I'm just here to discuss my friends, so... 92 00:04:13,017 --> 00:04:14,017 -Loud and clear. -Cool. 93 00:04:14,018 --> 00:04:16,998 Well, I haven't gotten into hair and makeup yet, 94 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,996 so I'll see you on set. 95 00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:19,995 Okay. 96 00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:21,023 This is so fun! 97 00:04:21,018 --> 00:04:23,018 Thank y-- 98 00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:25,011 Where do I go? 99 00:04:25,007 --> 00:04:27,007 [ All clamoring indistinctly ] 100 00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:28,017 Oh, my God. 101 00:04:28,023 --> 00:04:31,023 Gory Dory, are you a cold-blooded killer?! 102 00:04:31,017 --> 00:04:33,007 Drew, did she make you do it?! 103 00:04:33,016 --> 00:04:34,016 Get back! Nothing, nothing! 104 00:04:34,022 --> 00:04:38,012 [ All shouting indistinctly ] 105 00:04:38,008 --> 00:04:39,008 Get away from me, you animals! 106 00:04:39,014 --> 00:04:40,024 Get back! 107 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:45,000 Girl: I love you, Drew! 108 00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:48,013 Please rise. 109 00:04:48,012 --> 00:04:50,002 The United States District Court 110 00:04:50,002 --> 00:04:52,012 for the Southern District of New York is now in session. 111 00:04:52,015 --> 00:04:55,015 The Honorable Judge Xavier Hellerman presiding. 112 00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:06,020 Please be seated. 113 00:05:06,023 --> 00:05:08,023 This is the United States 114 00:05:08,022 --> 00:05:12,012 vs. Dory Sief and Drew Gardner. 115 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:14,021 Counsel, are you ready to proceed? 116 00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:15,023 -Yes. -Yes. 117 00:05:15,022 --> 00:05:19,012 Deputy, let's invite the jury. 118 00:05:24,015 --> 00:05:29,015 ♪♪ 119 00:05:29,019 --> 00:05:31,009 [ Whispering ] Dory... 120 00:05:31,015 --> 00:05:33,015 I'm really scared. 121 00:05:40,015 --> 00:05:41,995 Before we begin, may I just relay to the court 122 00:05:42,003 --> 00:05:45,013 that I was recently diagnosed 123 00:05:45,009 --> 00:05:48,019 with a very rare autoimmune condition 124 00:05:48,017 --> 00:05:50,997 called Poppy Gillies disease, 125 00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:53,013 which gravely affects my metabolism. 126 00:05:53,008 --> 00:05:56,008 There may be times in this courtroom 127 00:05:56,013 --> 00:05:59,013 when I may be continuously snacking, 128 00:05:59,011 --> 00:06:02,001 as my life depends on it. 129 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,000 I now ask the prosecution to give their opening statement. 130 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,024 Good morning. 131 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:15,000 Day one... 132 00:06:15,004 --> 00:06:18,024 of many, of many. 133 00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:20,021 Well, you know what? I'd like to start 134 00:06:20,019 --> 00:06:23,019 by painting you a little picture. 135 00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:26,001 It's a cool... 136 00:06:26,004 --> 00:06:30,004 breezy May afternoon. 137 00:06:30,005 --> 00:06:34,015 And a little girl sits on the swings, on the playground. 138 00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:38,001 Only this little girl doesn't feel like playing today. 139 00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:41,005 Something inside of her knows... 140 00:06:41,014 --> 00:06:43,024 that somewhere in Montreal, 141 00:06:43,019 --> 00:06:47,009 just five hours north of where she sits, 142 00:06:47,011 --> 00:06:49,021 her father, Keith Isaac Powell, 143 00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:52,011 is being violently murdered 144 00:06:52,009 --> 00:06:57,999 by a young, attractive, privileged couple. 145 00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:02,012 This man did not deserve to die, 146 00:07:02,014 --> 00:07:07,014 especially at the hands of a couple of Millennials 147 00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:10,011 looking for a thrill-kill! 148 00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:13,014 Dory Sief is an attractive woman, all right? 149 00:07:13,007 --> 00:07:16,017 But with that attractiveness came sexual confidence. 150 00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:20,011 Mm. Sounds good. 151 00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:24,010 But that turned into sexual deviance. 152 00:07:24,015 --> 00:07:29,005 She revealed to her... submissive boyfriend 153 00:07:29,012 --> 00:07:31,022 that she was having an affair 154 00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:35,021 and then coerced him to just dutifully abandon all morality 155 00:07:35,017 --> 00:07:37,997 just to satisfy her. 156 00:07:38,003 --> 00:07:39,023 [ Sighs ] 157 00:07:39,021 --> 00:07:43,011 And we have undeniable proof 158 00:07:43,007 --> 00:07:46,007 against that privileged couple. 159 00:07:46,013 --> 00:07:48,013 Proof that they were in Montreal 160 00:07:48,016 --> 00:07:51,016 on the grounds where Keith was murdered. 161 00:07:51,023 --> 00:07:53,013 Hair samples, fingerprints, 162 00:07:53,013 --> 00:07:57,013 such extensive DNA from the crime scene. 163 00:07:57,011 --> 00:07:58,021 We have so much evidence, 164 00:07:58,023 --> 00:08:03,023 that, frankly, you're gonna get real tired of it. 165 00:08:03,022 --> 00:08:05,022 If we allow these two 166 00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:08,011 morally repugnant abusers of privilege off, 167 00:08:08,007 --> 00:08:10,017 well, you know what you're doing? 168 00:08:10,017 --> 00:08:13,017 You're letting an entire generation off. 169 00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:17,012 If we enable this entitlement 170 00:08:17,008 --> 00:08:20,008 to the degree of murder, 171 00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:21,017 I ask you, 172 00:08:21,018 --> 00:08:25,008 what kind of world are our children growing up in? 173 00:08:25,012 --> 00:08:27,012 ♪♪ 174 00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:29,010 And, more importantly... 175 00:08:29,011 --> 00:08:31,001 ♪♪ 176 00:08:31,006 --> 00:08:34,006 ...what kind of world do you want to live in? 177 00:08:34,009 --> 00:08:36,019 Oh, my God! 178 00:08:36,021 --> 00:08:39,021 -[ Groaning ] -Can we get some paper towels! 179 00:08:42,005 --> 00:08:44,005 Mm-hmm. 180 00:08:44,013 --> 00:08:47,013 I, too, feel sick. 181 00:08:47,011 --> 00:08:48,011 -Oh. -Here. 182 00:08:48,013 --> 00:08:49,023 This is bad. 183 00:08:49,019 --> 00:08:50,999 This is so bad. 184 00:08:51,004 --> 00:08:53,014 -All right. -Ugh! 185 00:08:53,012 --> 00:08:55,012 Oh, God. I'm so sorry. 186 00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,012 Yeah, I'm so sorry. 187 00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:59,010 I'm so sorry. 188 00:09:01,012 --> 00:09:04,002 Uh, just want to say sorry. 189 00:09:04,006 --> 00:09:06,006 I'm so sorry. 190 00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:10,020 Now for the defense's opening statements. 191 00:09:14,001 --> 00:09:16,001 Okay. 192 00:09:24,019 --> 00:09:27,019 Good afternoon, everyone. 193 00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:30,020 Members of the jury... 194 00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:34,020 fellow attorneys, et al. Umm... 195 00:09:34,018 --> 00:09:38,008 In an unpredictable coincidence, 196 00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:40,010 my opening statement also began 197 00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:44,002 with imagery of a young girl on a playground. 198 00:09:44,005 --> 00:09:46,005 It was different, but not different enough 199 00:09:46,011 --> 00:09:51,021 for me to want to still do it, so... 200 00:09:51,022 --> 00:09:55,012 Um, here comes some improvisation, 201 00:09:55,014 --> 00:09:57,014 so... 202 00:09:57,009 --> 00:09:59,999 Hmph. 203 00:10:00,006 --> 00:10:05,996 This question is for the ladies in the room! 204 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,006 Have you ever felt, 205 00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:10,020 while walking down the street at night, 206 00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:15,023 that there was someone behind you, watching you? 207 00:10:15,023 --> 00:10:17,023 I'm sure you've had this experience. 208 00:10:17,018 --> 00:10:24,998 And I know for a fact that my client Dory Sief has. 209 00:10:25,002 --> 00:10:28,002 She was trying to make the world a better place. 210 00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:30,014 She was trying to be a good person. 211 00:10:30,012 --> 00:10:33,012 She was actually trying to save her friend 212 00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:34,020 Chantal Witherbottom, 213 00:10:34,023 --> 00:10:39,013 who, to her knowledge, was in serious trouble. 214 00:10:39,007 --> 00:10:41,007 Now, along the way, she met a man, 215 00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:45,020 "Keith Powell," whom she befriended. 216 00:10:45,023 --> 00:10:50,013 Mr. Powell developed feelings for my client, 217 00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:51,995 which she indulged 218 00:10:52,003 --> 00:10:55,023 with the permission of her understanding boyfriend. 219 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,020 However, when the time came 220 00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:02,000 for Dory to end things with Keith, 221 00:11:02,003 --> 00:11:04,013 he did not take it well. 222 00:11:04,012 --> 00:11:08,012 He put a tracking device on her phone 223 00:11:08,012 --> 00:11:10,022 and followed her to Montreal 224 00:11:10,018 --> 00:11:14,008 in a dangerous fit. 225 00:11:14,011 --> 00:11:18,001 So it's obvious that the question then becomes 226 00:11:18,006 --> 00:11:20,006 who followed Keith to Montreal 227 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:24,012 and committed this terrible crime? 228 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:28,006 My client is not a murderer. 229 00:11:28,015 --> 00:11:30,015 She is a victim. 230 00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:32,021 She is a victim of circumstance, 231 00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:35,011 and she is a victim of the patriarchy, 232 00:11:35,008 --> 00:11:37,998 as are we all. 233 00:11:38,003 --> 00:11:40,013 Mr. Powell was an immoral predator 234 00:11:40,011 --> 00:11:43,021 who wanted to harass my client. 235 00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:47,000 And I'm proud of her for not retaliating 236 00:11:47,002 --> 00:11:49,012 in the face of that harassment. 237 00:11:49,016 --> 00:11:51,006 I'm proud of her for not even being aware 238 00:11:51,008 --> 00:11:53,018 of his murder at all. 239 00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:58,001 And I am proud of her 240 00:11:58,005 --> 00:12:00,995 for being a resilient, brave, 241 00:12:01,002 --> 00:12:03,022 modern woman. 242 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:08,001 Thank you. 243 00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:11,023 And thank you...all. 244 00:12:22,006 --> 00:12:22,996 What? 245 00:12:23,005 --> 00:12:25,015 Man: Camera. And we're back from commercial 246 00:12:25,021 --> 00:12:28,021 in 3, 2, 1. 247 00:12:28,017 --> 00:12:31,017 Hi. You're watching "Open Fire with Charlie Reeny." 248 00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:33,000 My name is Charlie Reeny, 249 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,003 and I have a hot show for you today. 250 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,995 It's the first day of trial in the Gory Dory murder case, 251 00:12:38,004 --> 00:12:40,004 and joining me today is lifelong friend 252 00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:42,013 of the murderous couple, defense witness 253 00:12:42,010 --> 00:12:45,000 and gay rights activist Elliott Goss. 254 00:12:45,002 --> 00:12:48,002 [ Chuckles ] Uh, I wouldn't necessarily call myself that. 255 00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:50,004 I'm certainly a friend of the movement, 256 00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:52,012 but I've never been to a march in my life. 257 00:12:52,007 --> 00:12:54,017 So, Elliott, before we get into how you and your friends 258 00:12:54,022 --> 00:12:57,002 represent absolutely everything that's wrong 259 00:12:57,005 --> 00:12:58,015 -with young liberals... -Mm. 260 00:12:58,017 --> 00:13:01,997 ...I wanted to give you a chance to plug your book. 261 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:10,014 Okay. [ Chuckles ] 262 00:13:10,015 --> 00:13:11,995 What's shocking? 263 00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:13,022 The fact that you squandered the only chance you had 264 00:13:13,023 --> 00:13:16,013 at a real career by having writer's block, 265 00:13:16,014 --> 00:13:21,014 or the fact that my producer's niece can draw this well? 266 00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:22,007 I know what I was trying to say, 267 00:13:22,011 --> 00:13:24,021 and it's that that is not my book. 268 00:13:24,023 --> 00:13:27,003 -It looks just like you. -Well, it's not my book. 269 00:13:27,003 --> 00:13:28,013 And I didn't write -- It's -- It's -- 270 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,008 Blond hair, blue eyes? 271 00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:33,017 My turn. 272 00:13:33,019 --> 00:13:37,009 Help me up, please. 273 00:13:37,015 --> 00:13:40,015 Ohh! Whew! 274 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,020 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. 275 00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:46,011 Your Honor. 276 00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:50,009 Cassidy brought up some very interesting points 277 00:13:50,014 --> 00:13:51,014 that I'm sure resonate 278 00:13:51,014 --> 00:13:56,014 with many people around the world. 279 00:13:56,010 --> 00:14:00,020 The prosecution, well, what was she talking about? 280 00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:02,010 I tried to follow it. 281 00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:05,002 I don't know what she was saying. 282 00:14:05,002 --> 00:14:07,012 They both told stories, 283 00:14:07,008 --> 00:14:10,008 but I am gonna talk about the evidence, 284 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:13,005 because if there's one thing I'm completely confident of 285 00:14:13,016 --> 00:14:19,006 is that my client, Eddie, is innocent. 286 00:14:19,009 --> 00:14:21,019 [ Whispering ] Eddie?! Who's Eddie? 287 00:14:21,018 --> 00:14:22,998 Oh, uh -- 288 00:14:23,003 --> 00:14:25,003 It's -- Bob, it's Drew. 289 00:14:25,002 --> 00:14:26,012 Drew! Drew! 290 00:14:26,016 --> 00:14:28,016 Drew is innocent. 291 00:14:28,023 --> 00:14:31,003 [ Chuckles ] 292 00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:33,005 Do you ever have one of those days? 293 00:14:34,008 --> 00:14:42,008 ♪♪ 294 00:14:42,009 --> 00:14:50,009 ♪♪ 295 00:14:50,013 --> 00:14:58,013 ♪♪ 296 00:14:58,015 --> 00:15:06,015 ♪♪ 297 00:15:10,006 --> 00:15:11,016 Charlie: You cannot hire any women taller than me. 298 00:15:11,017 --> 00:15:13,017 End of discussion. She's 5'7". I'm 5'6". 299 00:15:13,018 --> 00:15:15,008 Do the fuckin' work. 300 00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:16,023 Are you okay? 301 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,020 You look beat up. 302 00:15:18,022 --> 00:15:21,012 I'm sorry. I just didn't quite expect this from you, 303 00:15:21,014 --> 00:15:23,014 not as a guest in your own house. 304 00:15:23,014 --> 00:15:25,014 Babe, that's the game. 305 00:15:25,014 --> 00:15:27,014 Do you like watching polite TV? No. 306 00:15:27,008 --> 00:15:28,008 [ Chuckles ] You like watching good TV. 307 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:33,014 Man: And we're back in 3, 2, 1. 308 00:15:33,013 --> 00:15:36,013 Welcome back to "Open Fire with Charlie Reeny." 309 00:15:36,007 --> 00:15:37,017 I'm your host, Charlie Reeny. And joining me today 310 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:41,020 is the man who helped his friends bury a body, 311 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,003 Elliott Goss. 312 00:15:43,002 --> 00:15:44,012 [ Sniffs ] 313 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,020 I'm sorry. 314 00:15:45,018 --> 00:15:47,018 -Did you fart? -What? 315 00:15:47,018 --> 00:15:50,008 [ Chuckling ] Oh, my God! 316 00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,996 I can't believe that much smell came out of you. 317 00:15:53,002 --> 00:15:55,012 I mean, you are too tiny to make that much smell. 318 00:15:55,010 --> 00:15:55,020 It's sick! 319 00:15:55,023 --> 00:15:58,003 People, I didn't fart. 320 00:15:58,003 --> 00:16:00,013 Oh, God. Oh, God. 321 00:16:00,007 --> 00:16:02,007 Yeah, you guys -- Right? You, too? 322 00:16:02,015 --> 00:16:03,005 Yeah, even the producers can smell it. 323 00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:05,012 It's thatdisgusting. 324 00:16:05,015 --> 00:16:08,005 Did you -- Oh, my God. 325 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:11,000 Did you eat an old ostrich egg? 326 00:16:11,002 --> 00:16:12,012 I don't fart! 327 00:16:12,015 --> 00:16:14,005 I don't fart! 328 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:19,008 Your Honor, I would like to call the witness 329 00:16:19,015 --> 00:16:23,005 Portia Davenport to the stand, please. 330 00:16:26,011 --> 00:16:29,011 [ Spectators murmur ] 331 00:16:48,016 --> 00:16:50,006 Raise your right hand. 332 00:16:50,011 --> 00:16:51,021 Do you swear or affirm 333 00:16:51,019 --> 00:16:52,019 that the testimony you are about to give 334 00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:55,020 will be the truth, the whole truth, 335 00:16:55,020 --> 00:16:56,010 and nothing but the truth? 336 00:16:56,011 --> 00:16:58,011 Yes, I-I do. 337 00:16:58,012 --> 00:17:00,022 -Please be seated. -Okay. 338 00:17:02,016 --> 00:17:05,006 -Good morning. -Good morning. 339 00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:08,000 How is it that you, uh, know 340 00:17:08,004 --> 00:17:11,014 the defendants, Dory Sief and Drew Gardner? 341 00:17:11,011 --> 00:17:13,001 Um, well, I met Dory in college. 342 00:17:13,003 --> 00:17:16,013 [ Chuckling ] And it's actually a funny story. 343 00:17:16,008 --> 00:17:16,998 It always makes me laugh. 344 00:17:17,004 --> 00:17:19,014 It's way too long to tell you guys, 345 00:17:19,016 --> 00:17:21,006 but I'll just say that it involves 346 00:17:21,008 --> 00:17:24,018 me locking myself out of my dorm room totally naked 347 00:17:24,019 --> 00:17:27,009 and then having to wait in Dory's dorm room 348 00:17:27,015 --> 00:17:30,995 until someone unlocked mine. 349 00:17:31,005 --> 00:17:33,015 And, actually, that is the entire story. 350 00:17:33,022 --> 00:17:35,022 And then she met Drew, 351 00:17:35,022 --> 00:17:36,022 and we all became good buds. 352 00:17:36,023 --> 00:17:39,013 But they weren't very good buds 353 00:17:39,009 --> 00:17:43,019 on the night of May 26th, now, were they? 354 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,020 No. 355 00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:47,021 In a testimony that you made to police, 356 00:17:47,023 --> 00:17:49,013 you stated, 357 00:17:49,008 --> 00:17:52,018 Quote: "I stopped dry-humping with the Frenchman 358 00:17:52,017 --> 00:17:55,017 and went downstairs to get a glass of water. 359 00:17:55,023 --> 00:17:57,023 When I got to the kitchen, I discovered my friends 360 00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:03,011 stuffing Keith's body into a zebra-print suitcase. 361 00:18:03,011 --> 00:18:07,011 They convinced me to bury the suitcase with them. 362 00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:10,007 I still have nightmares every night." 363 00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:13,020 Do you still stand by this statement, Portia? 364 00:18:13,022 --> 00:18:15,002 Yes, I do. 365 00:18:15,002 --> 00:18:16,022 Now, you've known Dory intimately 366 00:18:16,018 --> 00:18:19,008 for a long time, would you say? 367 00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:21,996 How would you describe her? 368 00:18:22,002 --> 00:18:25,002 Well, my answer is kind of changing lately. 369 00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:30,012 Um, but if you had asked me before all this, 370 00:18:30,014 --> 00:18:32,014 oh, man. 371 00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:33,017 I would say Dory is so nice. 372 00:18:33,019 --> 00:18:35,019 And she's such a good friend 373 00:18:35,022 --> 00:18:40,002 and very creative and introspective. 374 00:18:40,005 --> 00:18:44,005 But how would you describe her now? 375 00:18:44,012 --> 00:18:48,012 [ Voice breaking ] I don't really know what's real 376 00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:50,000 and what's not real with her. 377 00:18:50,002 --> 00:18:54,002 After this whole era, it's sort of my opinion 378 00:18:54,005 --> 00:18:54,995 that she really resents 379 00:18:55,004 --> 00:18:59,004 that she just doesn't have a sense of self. 380 00:18:59,003 --> 00:19:01,023 And now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, 381 00:19:01,023 --> 00:19:05,013 I didn't ever want to even look for Chantal. 382 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,001 I just did it because I loved my friend, 383 00:19:08,003 --> 00:19:14,003 and I was very worried about her mental health, 384 00:19:14,003 --> 00:19:17,003 and I wanted to be a good friend. 385 00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:19,003 But then it kept getting bigger and bigger, 386 00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:23,003 and she just dragged me into these problems 387 00:19:23,002 --> 00:19:27,002 that I don't think I deserved to be dragged into. 388 00:19:27,005 --> 00:19:29,995 And then Keith dies, and it's like 389 00:19:30,004 --> 00:19:32,014 she could have kept me out of it, and she just didn't. 390 00:19:32,012 --> 00:19:37,012 I just think it's horrible of her, and I think that... 391 00:19:37,012 --> 00:19:39,022 she doesn't care about me and she never did, 392 00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:42,010 or something like that. 393 00:19:42,008 --> 00:19:43,018 What a betrayal. 394 00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:47,010 You thin-lipped, baby-killing, 395 00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,011 under-funded pride parade! 396 00:19:48,009 --> 00:19:52,009 You book-burning gas chamber with penis envy! 397 00:19:52,012 --> 00:19:53,022 -Commie! -Fascist! 398 00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:55,023 -Faggot!! -[ Gasps ] 399 00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:57,010 Whore! 400 00:19:59,005 --> 00:20:01,995 Well, that's all the time we have today 401 00:20:02,004 --> 00:20:04,014 on "Open Fire with Charlie Reeny." 402 00:20:04,010 --> 00:20:05,010 I'm Charlie Reeny reminding you 403 00:20:05,009 --> 00:20:09,009 that the Second Amendment is never going away. 404 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,018 ♪♪ 405 00:20:11,017 --> 00:20:14,017 Man: And we're out. 406 00:20:14,017 --> 00:20:18,007 That was incredible. That's the most fun I've ever had in my life. 407 00:20:18,015 --> 00:20:20,005 -You're a genius. -No, no, no. 408 00:20:20,007 --> 00:20:22,017 Youare a genius. 409 00:20:22,017 --> 00:20:25,997 Portia, is there anything that maybe you would like to add 410 00:20:26,002 --> 00:20:30,022 that you think might be helpful for the jury to hear today? 411 00:20:30,017 --> 00:20:33,007 Yes. 412 00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:35,007 I would like to add... 413 00:20:35,013 --> 00:20:38,003 that while I was coerced into burying the body, 414 00:20:38,006 --> 00:20:40,016 I sensed in her no remorse. 415 00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:42,021 She was hostile 416 00:20:42,021 --> 00:20:45,021 and, to be frank, full of vitriol. 417 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:48,000 Wow. So very traumatic. 418 00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:52,015 Your Honor, I -- I have no further questions. 419 00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:56,008 Miss Davenport. 420 00:20:56,008 --> 00:20:57,998 -Hi. -Hi. 421 00:20:58,004 --> 00:20:59,024 Can I ask you a question? 422 00:20:59,018 --> 00:21:01,018 Do you wear contact lenses? 423 00:21:01,023 --> 00:21:02,023 I do. 424 00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:05,010 And what is your prescription in each eye? 425 00:21:05,011 --> 00:21:08,011 My left eye is a six, 426 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,996 and my right eye, I believe, is a seven. 427 00:21:10,006 --> 00:21:14,016 Well, I'd like to do a little eye test with you. 428 00:21:14,019 --> 00:21:16,999 -You want take me -- these out? -Yeah, take your contacts out. 429 00:21:17,006 --> 00:21:19,996 Take your time. [ Both whispering indistinctly ] 430 00:21:20,006 --> 00:21:21,016 -Okay. -Excuse me! 431 00:21:21,022 --> 00:21:23,002 -No, shh! -Miss Diamond and Miss Sief, 432 00:21:23,002 --> 00:21:26,012 you're distracting your own defense. 433 00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:28,010 I am so sorry, Your Honor. 434 00:21:28,012 --> 00:21:30,012 Um, Bob? 435 00:21:30,014 --> 00:21:34,024 Oh. What? 436 00:21:34,023 --> 00:21:36,013 I know, but... 437 00:21:36,011 --> 00:21:39,001 [ Whispering ] I want you to sit down and rest, 438 00:21:39,004 --> 00:21:40,014 and I'm gonna take over. 439 00:21:40,010 --> 00:21:42,000 Okay. 440 00:21:42,003 --> 00:21:47,003 I am so sorry for this disruption, everyone. 441 00:21:47,002 --> 00:21:49,022 But I would just like to ask the court stenographer 442 00:21:49,021 --> 00:21:53,011 if you could please read back Portia's earlier statement 443 00:21:53,016 --> 00:21:56,016 regarding my client's behavior toward her 444 00:21:56,018 --> 00:21:58,018 the night of the alleged burial. 445 00:21:59,001 --> 00:22:01,011 Stenographer: "While I was coerced into burying the body, 446 00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:04,005 I sensed in her no remorse. She was hostile 447 00:22:04,007 --> 00:22:08,017 and, to be frank, full of vitriol." 448 00:22:08,019 --> 00:22:10,999 Mm. 449 00:22:11,004 --> 00:22:13,014 Mm. [ Smacking lips ] 450 00:22:13,014 --> 00:22:16,024 That's -- That's a word. 451 00:22:16,021 --> 00:22:18,021 I need to use that word more often. 452 00:22:18,017 --> 00:22:20,007 Do you use that word a lot? 453 00:22:20,009 --> 00:22:21,019 Yeah, I... 454 00:22:21,022 --> 00:22:23,012 personally feel like it is just very important 455 00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:26,018 as a woman to have a diverse vocabulary. 456 00:22:26,020 --> 00:22:29,020 Would you be a dear and would you define it 457 00:22:29,022 --> 00:22:32,012 for some of the members of the jury 458 00:22:32,013 --> 00:22:36,013 who might not be very familiar with it? 459 00:22:36,016 --> 00:22:39,006 Mm-hmm. I can. 460 00:22:39,007 --> 00:22:41,007 It's, um... 461 00:22:41,012 --> 00:22:43,012 Uh -- Well, it would be, like -- 462 00:22:43,008 --> 00:22:46,018 V-Vitriol, the definition of vitriol. 463 00:22:46,017 --> 00:22:48,017 It is something that you are very full of. 464 00:22:48,020 --> 00:22:50,010 It's a quality. 465 00:22:50,007 --> 00:22:53,007 It's a -- And it's a negative quality. 466 00:22:53,016 --> 00:22:56,006 Wow. Could you put it in a sentence for me? 467 00:22:56,012 --> 00:22:57,012 Mm-hmm. Yes. 468 00:22:57,015 --> 00:22:59,005 Um, let me think. 469 00:22:59,008 --> 00:23:01,008 Uh, I have one. 470 00:23:01,009 --> 00:23:04,019 Um, "Dory was full of vitriol." 471 00:23:04,019 --> 00:23:07,009 Oh, new sentence, please. 472 00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:13,021 Some people are always full of vitriol. 473 00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:18,008 Mm, that's a suspiciously similar sentence. 474 00:23:18,012 --> 00:23:19,012 You know, and it kind of makes me wonder 475 00:23:19,007 --> 00:23:24,017 who would use a word like "vitriol." 476 00:23:24,022 --> 00:23:26,022 Dare I say it was coached into you? 477 00:23:26,018 --> 00:23:29,008 Is that true? 478 00:23:29,010 --> 00:23:31,020 What? No. I don't know. 479 00:23:32,001 --> 00:23:34,011 I didn't, like, come up with that word. 480 00:23:34,015 --> 00:23:36,015 But I could tell you probably what it means. 481 00:23:36,019 --> 00:23:37,999 This feels very mean! 482 00:23:38,003 --> 00:23:40,023 Yeah, I would be interested to go back and see 483 00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:43,999 how often in the transcript of your confession 484 00:23:44,004 --> 00:23:47,024 with the police, did you come up with the details 485 00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:50,020 or did the police get really creative? 486 00:23:50,018 --> 00:23:51,998 Better question, 487 00:23:52,003 --> 00:23:53,023 is your baby-blue existence in this courtroom 488 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,010 due to the fact that you were coerced by the police 489 00:23:56,015 --> 00:23:57,995 into agreeing with the fabricated lies? 490 00:23:58,002 --> 00:24:00,022 -Objection. -Sustained. 491 00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:03,012 That's okay. Don't worry, Polly. 492 00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:06,998 I'm finished, because it's clear to everyone in this courtroom 493 00:24:07,005 --> 00:24:08,005 what's going on right about now. 494 00:24:08,016 --> 00:24:11,006 [ Whispering ] You coached her. 495 00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:13,016 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 496 00:24:17,003 --> 00:24:26,013 ♪♪ 497 00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:29,017 [ Crunch, glass clinking ] 498 00:24:29,019 --> 00:24:30,019 [ Whimpering ] 499 00:24:30,023 --> 00:24:32,013 [ Screaming ] 500 00:24:32,016 --> 00:24:35,006 Mom! 501 00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:37,010 Help! Mommy! 502 00:24:37,012 --> 00:24:40,022 [ Camera shutter clicking ] 503 00:24:40,019 --> 00:24:41,999 [ Continues screaming ] 504 00:24:42,003 --> 00:24:44,023 [ Continues screaming ] ♪ Did I ♪ 505 00:24:44,017 --> 00:24:45,017 ♪ Hear you screaming? ♪ 506 00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:48,017 Mommy, help me, please! Mommy! ♪ Did I see ♪ 507 00:24:48,023 --> 00:24:52,013 ♪ You dancing? ♪ 508 00:24:52,015 --> 00:24:53,995 ♪ Did you see ♪ 509 00:24:54,003 --> 00:24:57,023 ♪ That boy crying? ♪ 510 00:24:57,019 --> 00:25:00,009 ♪ I saw him ♪ 511 00:25:00,008 --> 00:25:02,018 ♪ I'm not laughing ♪ 36350

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