All language subtitles for Mondo Cane Oggi (1985) fico

Here is man,
the centre of the Universe we know.

The wicked and polymorphic being,
as described by Freud.

The most self-contradictory
one that exists...

part adult, part child,
always at war with himself...

the beginning and the end
of a world which is wrong.

But is the world at fault...

or is man wrong,
because the world is?

A DOG'S LIFE TODAY

THE ATROCITIES CONTINUE

They're not coming out of a casino,
where they've lost everything...

nor are they coming out
of the tax office.

These people have rid themselves
of their clothes

to follow a popular
fashion: Nudism.

Man is born naked:
This is the belief.

Nudism isn't a sport...

it's a religion...

with commandments.

It is said to be good for the skin
and for the soul.

It all depends on what's hanging:

There are natural curves...

and other kinds, with cellulite on
the hips, which are not so natural.

Nudists should come to these gyms,
before undressing.

This sport is called body-building.

In actual fact nothing is built...

but you can keep the body
you have in good shape.

Nothings sags here,

all muscles are taut.

All of them? The ones we can see!

Even though they are fighting,
these two women...

are not rivals competing
for a black hunk...

or fighting over the last box
of washing-powder on special offer.

This is a nightclub in Paris...

and this is one of
the many sex shows.

These two women are wrestling
as part of the show.

The recipe is a simple one:
You need a blonde and a brunette.

You make them fight in a ring
for about half an hour.

When they're
exhausted, you spray

them with tomato
sauce and that's it.

This is more relaxing
than housework for them.

These women have the same idea too:

They prefer being talented porn
stars than perfect housewives.

We prefer them like this too.

Is it a tough job? Too bad!

If they want to drape themselves
with fur, they have to undress.

It's warm in the studio anyway.
But even if it weren't...

It's better to chatter your teeth
than chat up men on street corners!

This woman has the shivers too...
and the shakes...

first on one side, then the other,
then both sides together.

It's the same dance she performs...

in a nightclub.

Tonight she's dancing for her
friends who've come to visit her.

But these dancers
aren't cut out to be mothers:

Babies like their milk stirred
not shaken.

A different place, different women,
a different kind of job.

This is the Gulf of Tagoru,
on the Pacific Ocean...

and these women risk
their lives everyday.

They eat a lot
before going in the water...

to keep their strength up
during the long swim.

The chubbier they are,
they better they are for the job.

A body with a greater amount
of adipose tissue...

can stand the cold better.

Before diving in, they get dressed:

Their shirts protect them
in these cold, deep waters.

Despite the eating, not one of them
has ever died from congestion.

The women who fish in the Pacific
only die due to sharks.

The sea bears many fruits, but
the women have to look for them.

They're not fishing for
pearls or fish but seaweed...

like other poor women...

who pick wild
chicory in the fields.

If they reach the age of 30,
they look like they're 100.

Yet the seaweed is rejuvenating.

But other women,
who are fat and wealthy...

have massages with
the fresh seaweed full of iodine.

The women who fish in the Pacific
are just like the other women...

but the former, forced to
eat large amounts of food...

lose their figures, so that
the others can improve theirs.

Isn't this a dog's life?

Another way of fighting obesity
is to jog.

We work hard at work
and after work.

And when we work hard,
we sweat...

to sweat off the excesses
of our consumerism.

Jogging is believed to be
good for the heart

but it seems the heart itself
doesn't agree with this:

Occasionally it stops working
at the top of the hill.

Death, the final chapter of life,

the greatest stage of all...

the dramatic event
where man regains his dignity...

a dignity which other men...

are able to crush yet again.

South America.
The police stops a

boat which is
heading for the U.S.A.

The body arouses suspicion

so it is sent to the Legal Medicine
Institute for an autopsy.

It is spine-chilling evidence...

but all the same...

you have the right
to know about it

and it's our duty
to show it to you.

The body's sternum has been
completely stitched together

and the two experts
hurriedly re-open it.

The content is disturbing.

There's a fortune crammed
inside this man's chest:

100 sachets full of pure heroin.

This is Bombay...

this is not a sport.

The problem here is
how to fill stomachs.

Indians are honest people: They
wash their dirty linen in public.

Even men do the washing.
They are stronger than women...

and don't waste time gossiping.

But among the workers...

there's also someone
who's work-shy.

Never mind!
It's the same the whole world over.

In the East a different sport
is considered to be beneficial.

To get rid of a fat belly...

they lie on their backs, keeping
shoulders and legs off the ground,

while having a weight
put on their abdomens.

These karate experts,
the famed Japanese martial art...

are allowed to
train on the streets.

They use sandals
weighing 5kg per foot...

to practice the forbidden kick.

This is not like our kickbacks,
but more like a kick in the gob.

Kicking in Karate is forbidden.

There are 3 types of lethal blows:

Under the nose,
in the throat and in the neck.

They'll never use them,
but they know how to.

This is all it takes to keep
possible rivals at bay.

Karate is a fancy sport
and these men all fancy themselves.

How do we know this?

Here's how... They go home like
this, in order to get noticed...

but they change route each time.
But who knows...?

They could come across drawing pins
scattered on the street.

Chinese pranks are played
in Japan too.

Other brave men go to
"The Well of Death"...

an upside down launching pad:

Instead of going up,
the men hurl themselves down.

A quick glance into the abyss...

then down they go!

It seems to take ages to reach
the putrid water.

This is not a sport,
but an act of bravery.

Occasionally someone dies.

This is an unusual sport.

It's called "pato"
and is played in the pampas.

The players are real gauchos...

just like the live duck...

they use to play the match is.

It's a sport which no one benefits
from, least of all the duck.

The match goes on

until the poor creature dies.

The winning team aims to kill it...

the other team aims to keep it
alive until the score is even.

The same game can be played
with any animal.

Except maybe a porcupine
wouldn't be a good choice.

The gauchos don't seem
too fond of needles.

The Japanese, on the other hand,
use needles to cure ills:

They use resin to heat the needles
they push into the skin.

The burn which heals
is not the one we can see...

but the one the needle
leaves on the nerve cells.

Needles began the trend
which is called acupuncture...

and tattoos have become
a form of art.

It's an act of
vanity which requires

courage and
resistance to pain.

One session can last
up to 90 minutes.

The needle pierces the skin
more than 100 times a minute

leaving ink in each hole it makes.

The ink is highly toxic.

The patient is then bedridden
due to the high fever.

Some don't recover from the fever
and so die.

They don't go to heaven or hell...

but to a very special gallery.

Is it an art gallery? No!
It's a gallery of idiots.

Tattoos are very
popular in the East

even with women.

The prostitutes use
them as gimmicks.

The designs they choose
can have symbolic meaning

but above all they are used
to attract the attention of clients

especially those with
sexually perverse tendencies.

Tattoos are forbidden
because they are risky...

unhygienic and
represent criminality.

Moreover they are expensive
and must be recorded in passports.

Distinguishing features:
"Classical art".

The most sought after design
is of the great Utamaro.

Tattoos are not only expensive
but also permanent.

If they can't be
removed by laser...

the only method is
to be skinned alive.

This is a good way
of getting rid of a tattoo.

But this isn't Japan, it's Saciva.

Here pythons are considered
to be a delicacy.

The care taken in skinning them
alive makes the meat more tender.

But the python isn't
happy about this.

The Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals Association intervened...

and came into conflict with
the Human Rights Association.

In this area there
are many pythons.

If they weren't eaten,
they would eat the Chinese!

So, catch those pythons!

They are fried or boiled, but we
don't know what they taste like.

The experts say they taste
like moray...

so if you like moray,
you'll like python too.

This shop belongs to one of
the last remaining medicine men.

We're sure to find snakes here.

This man's job is
like a cross between

a pharmacist and a
gastronomy expert.

His most popular concoctions
with his clients...

have been sent down
through generations.

The goods on these shelves
have not been modified in any way.

A monkey's head when grated...

provides energy
and acts as a tonic.

In certain areas of Japan...

it is used in the same way
as pig's femur is in Italy

also known as prosciutto.

The medicine man's real speciality
is another one though:

He can cure nervous breakdowns

and boost your love life.
Look...

It's a simple recipe
you can make at home too.

What are the ingredients?

Two live snakes, a pair of scissors
and a cup.

It is believed there's no better
remedy for regaining virility.

Knock it back!

Drink some snake's blood and
you'll feel as strong as a bull.

Bullfighting has been around
since the 11 th Century.

People think the bull is irritated
by the cape.

It becomes angry and tries to
get the bullfighter. That's wrong!

Let's see the bullfight
from the bull's point of view.

It sees a sequinned man...

desperately trying to put
his red cape on...

so it tries to go and help him.

If he happens to get butted by the
horns, it's not the bull's fault!

To feel as strong as a bull
you should drink snake's blood.

So if you drink bull's blood,
how will you feel?

Like a bullfighter for sure!

From bull's horns
to reindeer horns.

Horns represent manliness.

The bigger an animal's horns,
the manlier it is.

But for man being horny
is quite a different thing.

This is Lapland, near the Pole...

in Santa Claus's parking zone.

Laplanders are friendly.

But with vampire-like tendencies
to gain virility...

they slit the reindeer's throat

like the Japanese do to snakes.

The blood drunk directly
from the throat

is considered to be an aphrodisiac.

This is what the
Laplanders believe

and they drink to
the animal's death.

They make sure no blood is wasted.

Oops! A hair!

Alcohol makes you legless,
but blood gives you a leg up.

Reindeer's blood boosts
your love life.

The Laplanders have a laugh
but Santa is really pissed off!

If you can't stand the sight of
blood, go to Dr. Akafune's shop.

He says a cream can work much
better than animal blood.

Fair enough. A tube of cream fits
in your pocket...

whereas a snake, a reindeer
or a bull doesn't.

To avoid embarrassment the customer
sits behind a curtain.

This way he can speak freely.

Dr. Akafune is very discreet.

First he listens to the sin,
then he takes a look at the sinner.

Trivialities...

Everything is
explained very clearly.

This one has a 12-hour effect.
It's good for widows.

This other one lasts 6 hours,
with young girls.

This one is for mistresses,
not more than 3 hours.

And this one is for your wife,
half an hour.

Go ahead and choose.

What are you supposed to do
without Dr. Akafune?

Does he believe in celibacy?
Not at all!

They don't know
what Gerovital is here...

and snakes, bulls or reindeers
are not available...

but they have another
kind of tonic. Look...

At the age of 30,
sucking the blood is enough...

but at 60, he needs to do
more than that.

I don't think a live tortoise...

tastes as good as an oyster!

But they are believed to be
more of an aphrodisiac.

To be more advantaged

man takes advantage
of these animals.

But why make all these sacrifices?

For this, obviously!

And what do women do?
Everything they can.

They have set-backs too.

This one, for example, is frigid.

She believes a massage,
as recommended by the therapist...

will arouse her senses.

Frigidity is a consequence of
the alienation, which surrounds us.

To understand the
reasons we should

look at taboo
subjects, at religion.

Women often don't
claim what is

rightfully theirs
as human beings...

who are intent on seeking desire,
satisfaction and fulfilment,

so they're unable to overcome

their fear of taboo subjects.

On the other hand,
on these temples...

the bas-reliefs clearly depict...

erotic images which
are very explicit.

Mothers bring their children here.

It's an educational outing.

They want their children to know
about physical love.

Whereas we take
our children to zoos...

then when they're older...

they need therapy
for their sexual hang-ups.

Some seek help through faith...

hoping to be miraculously cured.

It's easy to guess what divinity
is worshipped in this temple.

You can plead for a child,
for your husband to come back...

or to experience an orgasm
for the first time.

These votive offerings...

show that this method
can be successful.

Leave no stone unturned.

If it doesn't work,
there's always another option:

Joining a women's
only private club.

Members can enjoy themselves
in small rooms.

If this isn't the right solution...

the self-service
option is available.

Now we're touching a sore point!

This is the forbidden
city of Balti, in China.

There aren't any therapy centres
for sexual problems here.

People go to the healers.

This woman doesn't feel horny
anymore. She's not bothered...

but her husband insisted on
her having a check-up.

The remedy is the same
for all problems.

This is it.

Putting the mouse so close to your
mouth puts you in a state of shock.

This can arouse your senses.

What's sure is you'll be shocked!

But the mouse is scared too.

It hangs by a thread near
the monster's mouth...

a dark and smelly cave,
which seems like a doorway to hell.

The woman feels horny again,
the mouse feels like dying.

Yes, it's a swastika...

but don't get the wrong idea,
here it is the symbol

of the Jainist people.

In other countries animals
are butchered...

but here life is a divine right
which must not be violated.

They cover their mouths...

so that when breathing,
they don't swallow and kill...

any tiny living creature.

The temple in Maarazta
is the most famous.

It's dedicated to peace and love...

for all men.

Their first commandment
says killing is forbidden.

Even though we see the swastika
these people are true pacifists.

They follow a strict
vegetarian diet.

Their speciality is stew.

But this is not like Irish stew!

It's a stew made with flowers

following an ancient recipe.

The animal treated
with the most care

is the white elephant. It's

considered to be a
marvellous creature.

To entertain it...

during the idle
days, in Thailand...

they even dance for it.

The elephant enjoys this a lot.

The dancers are beautiful.

They gracefully swing their hips...

while it swings his tail.

They give it naughty looks,

and it swings his tail some more.

Then it gets worked-up.
They try in vain to calm it down.

Blood rushes to its head.
It's turned on.

Who wouldn't be?
But it's not allowed. It's sacred.

To calm it down,
they give it a cold shower.

These animals...

have no respect for the dead.

This is being taken
to the watery Indian graves.

A body awaits its turn.

The vultures await their turn too.

As soon as the body reaches
the water they'll devour it.

This filthy water is used
as a cemetery.

Yet people wash here
and drink the water.

They thank the gods
for the Ganges...

which brings life.

The funeral chants join in
with the sound of the vultures.

They are horrid black creatures,
that ferociously squabble over...

their prey which
floats in the Ganges

The vultures thrive off
this macabre death ritual.

Look what else is hanging around:
Vampires.

It's rare to see
so many giant bats.

Animal lovers say
bats only suck mangoes.

That's not true.
They suck human blood too...

and not only from the dead.

Nobody knows if their blood

really is an aphrodisiac.

In Malaysia, people fish in
this way, without using any bait.

They reach down into the mud
and pull out the fish.

These aren't fish
you plant then pick.

They are ordinary fish,
born in clear water.

The secret of this miracle
is the underground rivers.

Now and again they vanish
leaving behind mud and fish.

Mud is good for your health
and your skin too.

It's not good for these fish
that end up being barbecued...

in some expensive restaurant.

Americans have fast-food...

but in Japan there's sexy-food.

This restaurant's speciality
is the plate you eat from.

Obviously, the food is cold.

Boiled meat and soup
aren't on the menu.

This part is delicious.

One last sip, then
the grand finale.

The last one to finish
can lick the plate...

but also pays the bill.

Pork meat is the speciality here...

but the real pigs are these
older American girls:

A spinster full of money
she never spent on her wedding...

a widow who got her
dear departed's insurance money...

What are these cheery women after?

Come on, you big black hunk,
show us your goods!

Even whales have a heart.

After their feed,
they want to have a feel.

Time for beddy-byes!

In this place they go to bed
on empty stomachs.

These Indians lie on the ground
for the night.

The nights are hot
and a roof isn't necessary.

The roofs are shitty here anyway.

Precisely.

The material used
is produced by the cows.

They each make a type of cement.

They women sort out
the different types.

They make bricks with it
and dry them out in the sun.

It's a tough job.
Once dried...

the cow's product
is used to build houses.

They say Indian cows
are thin because they don't eat.

Rubbish! They eat loads!

They simply empty their bowels
often...

New houses are needed!

Building houses is
big business here too.

Cows walk freely in the road.

People give them treats and
touch them as a sign of devotion.

Just touch it, but don't stroke it,
that's going too far!

Touch the animal with your

fingertips then
touch your forehead.

Monuments have been built
in devotion to the cow.

People go to these places
to make offerings.

The cows go to the temples...

much to the faithful followers' joy
and to supply...

the streams of urine
where the sick...

get their dose of medicine.

Devoted people try to attract
the sacred cow to their homes.

When this happens,
it's a family celebration.

An ancient ritual takes place
in its honour.

Blessed be your house
if the sacred cow visits.

As long as the cow lives,
the building trade won't suffer.

It's a different story in the West.

This is one of the world's
largest markets.

120,000 animals
will be slaughtered today.

They'd make lots of houses
in India! But we kill them.

Their destiny awaits them.

The freezing water they're washed
with is a warning.

It's the first and last shower
of their lives.

This way they're washed and
also pushed towards the butcher.

We can rest assured
there'll be no lack of steak!

In developed countries people
sleep in comfortable...

and well-designed houses.

They're nothing like
the shitty Indian houses.

In this Japanese hotel...

for commuters unable to go home...

there are specially designed rooms.

They look like burial niches,
don't they?

So it's better to sleep outdoors...

and dream alongside the rags.

We don't know what the Indians
dream about.

They don't need Freud to analyse
their dreams...

a dietician could do the job.

The morning sun doesn't shine
through windows.

An extra 5 minutes of sleep
is irresistible here too...

where it's impossible
to jump out of bed.

Once up, it's time to have a wash.

All Indians, even
the poorest one...

treat themselves to a hair wash,
a massage...

and a pedicure.

The body must be looked after...

as it contains the soul.

Some go over the top:
Like the bonzes.

They shave to make themselves ugly,
as a way of refusing...

materialistic matters.

The bonzes, following
a 2,500 year-old commandment...

are as sacred as Buddha.

When they're 20,
they have religious

service like the
Italian military one.

Their days...

are spent meditating
to reach enlightenment.

They'd give up their lives
for this too.

This mother isn't upset because
her son has shaved his head.

Bonzes don't belong
to their families.

Their mothers can go and see them

but must act as if
visiting an altar.

Bonzes aren't even allowed
to smile at their mothers.

Family relationships are different
in the Giara tribe.

These children are destined
to be beggars.

To make them look believable,
parents twist their limbs...

every day, one limb at a time.

A spine-chilling
and secret practice

filmed thanks to a telephoto lens.

It's a pain for the children,
but also for the parents.

They beat drums to
cover up the cries.

That's all they can do for them.

This shows what a desperate state
certain people live in.

One day they'll be
deformed like him.

They'll be able to live on charity.
It's the only future they have.

The luckiest ones become acrobats.

Where is Heaven?

Hell's here, on the
tip of this stick.

He started as a child too.

Now he's no longer
scared of walking the rope:

If he falls, he
can't break his legs.

He doesn't have any.

Is it a hen or a hedgehog?
You decide.

He goes onto his father's back...

but his father lives off his back.

This man chose a different career.

Poverty-stricken India
elects its Mr. Muscle.

The women think of their skinny
husbands and scowl...

with envy!

In the same way only few can afford
to stretch their minds...

here few can stretch their muscles.

Poor people can't afford to go
to the gym.

And so they wouldn't be able to
have a body like this.

He's the winner.
His girlfriend's a bit jealous.

"Go on, cover up!"

Here the birthday suit is required.

This is a public toilet in Kyoto.

We'd be embarrassed, they're not!

If you happen to come here...

don't think of wearing
a swimming costume.

They'd think,

"What's that man got to hide?"

Following tradition
they bathe in these big tubs.

They massage each other
with no hint of eroticism.

The temperature of the water
is 50�C and this weakens them.

If you're after something sinful,
there are other baths.

Like this one.

Here you can find
some sinful things!

Prices are high.

Those who can't afford it make do
with a rubber substitute.

Results are guaranteed.

He's not complaining!

Not all massages are like this one.

In the West some naughty women...

sell themselves as masseuses...

so when a tourist sees the sign
"Massage", he thinks of sex.

But these masseuses know how to...

walk all over clients.

Did you want to sin?
This is your punishment.

Here massages are
taken seriously...

and carried out
by trained specialists.

Everything is taken seriously
in the East.

See for yourselves.

It's a terrible ritual,
seen for first time on film.

The members of this sect
are tough and cruel.

To become a member, they have to
cut off their fingers off.

The more phalanges are missing,
the higher the grade.

Who has 3 phalanges missing...

means they've undergone
this torture 3 times.

He is a chief and must be obeyed.

If you're squeamish, look away.

The bravery is in not making
a sound when it gets cut off.

The useless act of butchery
has been carried out.

Had the P2 Masonic lodge initiation
ritual been like this...

Gelli certainly wouldn't have
found any followers.

The members' list is hidden
in the archive.

Yet the accounts are in full view:

Containing only
the membership fees.

This is still Japan

where the finger is used for
its therapeutic qualities.

According to the
doctors in Tokyo...

to cure impotency...

all you have to do is put a finger
there where the sun doesn't shine.

The best one is the ring finger.

It's important to hit the target
the first time out.

Otherwise it hurts like hell!

But the patient can take a fancy
to this and start fancying men.

Like this young man,
to get off his backside...

and get on the straight and narrow
he uses electric shocks.

"Women, yes... Men, no".

There's a religious alternative to
science for people too.

People with problems come here
to pray.

"Let me be blessed
with a big one..."

"Let it be as hard
as rock... Amen".

A petrol pump shaped like a phallus
stands in front of a restaurant...

which offers to fill you up.

If this still isn't
enough, you have

to resort to the
operating theatre.

This small tube guarantees enough
stiffness to satisfy a woman.

But if things go wrong...

don't go to the urologist,
you need a plumber!

Plumbers are hard
to find and costly.

We don't have
alternative solutions.

You could swing the other way,
it's not that bad.

They're dolling themselves up
for the sailors who arrive

with small boats on the coasts
of the Arabian sea.

They're waiting for the monsoon
to rescue them.

Then they'll seek employment
on a cruise ship...

and they'll entertain
the passengers

like this oriental boy is doing.

We suggested to him to move
to Paris or Rome...

but he declined the offer.

"Too much competition",
he replied in a coquettish way.

Things aren't that different
in the East.

In this nightclub, geisha girls
have been substituted...

by men who imitate them.

Some are unsuccessful actors...

from the famous Kabuki theatre.

Others are true homosexuals.

They dress up like geishas...

cunningly and gracefully
acting out their roles,

showing their talent for
singing and dancing.

They work till dawn

then go back to being men.

Homosexuality and transvestism
are so widespread

that the manufacturing trade has
turned it into big business.

This shop had
everything a gay man

could need to dress
up as a woman...

his friend and foe.

Dresses, wigs, fake boobs,
underwear...

Once he's bought the goods,
he can go upstairs...

where specialists dress him
and do his make-up.

But every homosexual's dream
is Casablanca.

Bogart left his heart there,
in Casablanca.

This man is going to leave
something else there.

The king is dead.
Long live the king!

What king? Long live the queen!

Just another little snip
and the miracle is complete.

The buttocks provide the tissue
used in the reconstruction.

They lose a bit of behind
to get something up front.

You can't have everything!

The result is amazing...

but it's not over yet.

Like new cars,
they too need to be run in...

and be serviced regularly.

The pressure should be 2
for long journeys...

In order for the combustion chamber

to allow the piston to enter...

the cylinder's walls need to kept
the same distance apart.

A sort of flight test
is carried out...

using a bird with wings of steel.

This is the final award:

A certificate which reintroduces
the homosexual into society.

Anyone could happen to go with
a "she" that was a "he"...

without realising.
It's no big deal!

You'd be worse off
if you found a woman

who wanted to kill two birds
with one stone.

That'd really be a let-down.

It'd be hard to know
when to give and when to take.

All that we've seen
brings with it promiscuity...

which along with drugs...

is helping to spread
a terrifying virus: AIDS.

What you're about to see is one
of the 2,400 AIDS victims...

in the USA in 1984.

He's the only one
to ever have been filmed.

A sight which needs no commentary.

To conclude we've chosen
a special subject.

To end with a flourish
we chose pornography.

We went to see a porn film
in the making.

Why? Well, why not?

What is pornography really?

Look it up in the dictionary...

Ask a language expert...

he'll have a hard
time telling you...

Iosing himself in a web of words.

There's no doubt that love
can overcome anything.

Everything is allowed...
Anything goes...

Even meeting your lover
on the roof of a house.

No need to worry.

Even if they may fall
while having sex...

the director has thought
of everything.

Great care is taken
to get the actors...

to give their best
and keep their mind on the job.

In our opinion, pornography
and its awful reputation

along with its
questionable tastes...

is the only thing
which man can do...

without harming anyone, be it
filmed, written about or practised.

It uses the tools
nature has provided.

Nothing here is obscene.

What we saw previously
was obscene...

and has convinced us that this
world really has gone to the dogs.

We're sorry for the dogs,
but that's our opinion.