All language subtitles for Men.Of.A.Certain.Age.S02E04_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,000 AND YOU'RE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE WITH HOUSEHOLD RULES? 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,000 R-RATED MOVIES, CURFEWS? 3 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,000 I'M ONLY ASKING SO THESE ISSUES DON'T COME UP LATER. 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,000 YEAH. NO, WE'RE -- WE'RE GOOD ON THAT. 5 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,000 YEAH, DEFINITELY. 6 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 WE'VE GOT A DIVORCE AGREEMENT. 7 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000 ALL THAT'S LEFT 8 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,000 IS THE OFFICIAL PETITION AND RESPONSE FOR THE COURT. 9 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000 HAVE YOU TALKED ABOUT WHO'S GONNA FILE? 10 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000 WHAT -- WHAT IS THAT? 11 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,000 LIKE, WHO'S DIVORCING WHO? 12 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,000 YES. WHO'S THE PLAINTIFF AND WHO'S THE DEFENDANT? 13 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,000 UM... DOES THAT MEAN SOMETHING? 14 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,000 LEGALLY? NOT REALLY. 15 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000 IF YOU GO TO TRIAL, AND YOU WON'T, 16 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000 THE PLAINTIFF, OR PETITIONER, TESTIFIES FIRST. 17 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,000 IT'S JUST A FORMALITY. SOMEONE HAS TO GO FIRST. 18 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,000 RIGHT. [ CHUCKLES ] 19 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000 DOESN'T MATTER, RIGHT? 20 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,000 OKAY. 21 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,000 I MEAN, WELL, I'LL...BE THE PLAINTIFF. 22 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000 GREAT. IS THAT GOOD FOR YOU? 23 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,000 YEAH. OKAY. YEAH, SURE. 24 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,000 RACHEL, CAN WE GET TWO COPIES OF THE FINALIZED AGREEMENT? 25 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,000 SHE'LL GET THOSE TO YOU, YOU TAKE THEM HOME 26 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,000 AND LOOK THEM OVER, 27 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,000 AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. 28 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 29 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,000 OH, THANK YOU. THAT WAS EASY. 30 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:00,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 31 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 WELL, THANKS SO MUCH, SHEILA. 32 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000 MY PLEASURE. 33 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000 OKAY. THANKS. 34 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,000 THE DEFENDANT THING, THOUGH -- IT DOESN'T MATTER, RIGHT? 35 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,000 NO. IT'S JUST A FORMALITY. 36 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000 OKAY. 37 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,000 NO, IT JUST -- YOU KNOW, IT SOUNDS WEIRD. 38 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000 DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT? IT'S NO -- 39 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000 NO, NO, NO, NO. 40 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,000 NO, NO. NO BIG DEAL. 41 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000 [ DOOR OPENS ] 42 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,000 NAH. 43 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:33,000 ♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN ♪ 44 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:38,000 ♪ WILL I DIG THE SAME THINGS THAT TURN ME ON AS A KID? ♪ 45 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,000 ♪ WILL I LOOK BACK AND SAY ♪ 46 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,000 ♪ THAT I WISH I HADN'T DONE WHAT I DID? ♪ 47 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,000 ♪ WILL I JOKE AROUND ♪ 48 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,000 ♪ WILL I STILL JOKE AROUND ♪ 49 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,000 ♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪ 50 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,000 ♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪ 51 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:55,000 ♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN? ♪ 52 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,000 "PROTECT AND RESTORE THE DELICATE EYE AREA 53 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,000 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] WHILE REDUCING --" 54 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000 Bruce: HEY, BOSS, WHAT ARE WE CALLING 55 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000 THE SATURDAY SALES EVENT? 56 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,000 OVERSTOCK? CLEARANCE? 57 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,000 I'LL LEAVE THAT UP TO YOU 58 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,000 BECAUSE THIS WEEKEND I'LL BE RELAXING 59 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,000 IN MY, UH, "OUTDOOR SPA CABANA" 60 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,000 ENJOYING MY, UH, "SEAWEED BODY WRAP." 61 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,000 YOU KNOW, THOSE SEAWEED WRAPS SHRINK YOUR BALLS. 62 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,000 OH, YOU'RE A BITTER MAN. 63 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,000 YEP. [ BOTH LAUGH ] 64 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000 NEW CAR SHOW -- 65 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,000 NOW THAT'S A PARTY. 66 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,000 I REMEMBER ONE YEAR IT WAS IN ST. THOMAS, 67 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,000 WITH A PRIVATE MASSEUSE IN EVERY ROOM. 68 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000 WHERE IS IT THIS TIME? 69 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,000 ANAHEIM. 70 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,000 TOUGH LUCK. 71 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000 YOUR OLD MAN GOING? NOPE. 72 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000 TOLD ME TO TAKE MELISSA AND HAVE THE TIME OF OUR LIVES. 73 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,000 WHICH MELISSA COULD USE. OH, YEAH? 74 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,000 YEAH, SHE'S, UH, TRYING TO FIND A JOB. 75 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,000 IT'S ROUGH OUT THERE. SHE'S ALL STRESSED. 76 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,000 WHY'S SHE NEED TO WORK? 77 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,000 WELL, SHE DOESN'T NEED TO WORK. 78 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000 SHE WANTS TO WORK. 79 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,000 YOU PUT THAT ON THE LIST OF REASONS 80 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,000 I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WOMEN. 81 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,000 THEY "WANT" TO WORK. 82 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,000 [ LAUGHS ] 83 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000 HEY, I GOT SOME STUFF OF YOURS THAT I FOUND IN THE GARAGE. 84 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000 WHAT DO YOU GOT? 85 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,000 JUST SOME GOLF THINGS. 86 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,000 OH, YEAH? I'M NOT SURE WHAT ELSE 87 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,000 IS IN HERE. 88 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000 LET'S SEE? OH, LOOK AT THIS. 89 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,000 CHECK THIS OUT. I REMEMBER THESE. 90 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000 MY LUCKY SHOES. 91 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,000 YEAH, I CAME PRETTY CLOSE TO THROWING THOSE OUT. 92 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,000 OH, NO. 93 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000 NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 94 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,000 HEY, ARE YOU COMING TO THE BARBECUE? 95 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,000 UM, YEAH. YEAH, I'M GONNA COME BY. 96 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,000 GOOD. 97 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,000 SO, UH...HOW'S HAROLD? 98 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,000 HE'S GOOD. GOOD. 99 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,000 GOOD. YEAH. SEEMS LIKE A GOOD GUY. 100 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,000 HE'S NOT GONNA BE THERE. 101 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,000 OOH, GOOD. [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 102 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,000 ALL RIGHT, SO, WHAT DO I DO? SHOULD I BRING SOMETHING? 103 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,000 OH, NO, NO. 104 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000 I GOT IT COVERED. ALL RIGHT. 105 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,000 HEY, WE CAN, UH, TOAST OUR NEW OFFICIALNESS. 106 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,000 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH, RIGHT. 107 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000 OKAY. [ CAR DOOR CLOSES ] 108 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,000 [ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] 109 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,000 Lawrence: CREEPIN' UP. 110 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,000 Marcus: [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH, WELL, WALK AROUND WITH THAT HAIRCUT 111 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,000 AND CUSTOMERS FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. 112 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,000 [ ALL CHUCKLE ] YEAH. 113 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,000 BAD HAIR. Hey, got this one. 114 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,000 EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN, BUT I BELIEVE I'M UP. 115 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,000 OH, SHIT! 116 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000 HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 117 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,000 IT WORKS BETTER IF YOU ACTUALLY WALK TOWARDS CUSTOMERS, TER. 118 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,000 THAT'S MY AGENT. 119 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000 OH, THAT'S GOOD. 120 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,000 HEY, SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, HOLLYWOOD? GO SELL HIM A CAR. 121 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,000 NO, I CAN'T GO OUT THERE. 122 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,000 I DON'T WANT HIM TO SEE ME LIKE THIS. 123 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,000 YOU MEAN, LIKE US? 124 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,000 YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU AIN'T GEORGE CLOONEY, SON. 125 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000 ALL RIGHT, GET YOUR SORRY ASS OUT THERE. 126 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,000 YOU'RE RIGHT. WHAT AM I DOING? 127 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,000 I'M EMBARRASSED TO BE A SALESMAN? 128 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,000 HE'S AN AGENT. 129 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,000 TERRY ELLIOT! 130 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,000 PHIL. HOW YOU BEEN, MAN? 131 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,000 I BARELY RECOGNIZED YOU IN THAT SUIT. 132 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,000 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, GOES WITH THE TERRITORY. 133 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,000 SO, UH, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 134 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,000 ARE YOU LOOKING TO BUY A CAR OR... 135 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,000 NO. 136 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,000 UH, THE CRAZIEST THING CAME ACROSS MY DESK FOR YOU. 137 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,000 I, UH -- I DIDN'T HAVE YOUR INFO, 138 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,000 BUT I HEARD YOU WERE WORKING HERE. 139 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,000 YEAH. 140 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,000 WELL, ANYWAY, YOU REMEMBER YEARS AGO, 141 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,000 THOSE OLD TV-DINNER COMMERCIALS? 142 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,000 YOU WORE THAT SOMBRERO, KIND OF SILLY. 143 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,000 YEAH. YEAH, I REMEMBER. 144 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,000 WELL, APPARENTLY, THEY GOT LIKE TEN MILLION HITS ON YouTube, 145 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,000 AND THE COMPANY WANTS TO BRING YOU BACK. 146 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,000 WHAT? WHY? 147 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,000 TEN MILLION HITS. 148 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,000 LOOK, IT'S WORTH CHECKING OUT. 149 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,000 IT'S NOT LIKE YOU EVEN HAVE TO AUDITION. 150 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,000 LOOK, PHIL, I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED 151 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:22,000 IN, UM, BEEFING UP MY SOMBRERO REEL, OKAY? 152 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,000 WELL, THIS IS A REALLY GOOD IDEA. 153 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,000 IT'S 20 YEARS LATER. YOU GUYS HAVE KIDS NOW. 154 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000 WHOA. W-WHAT A MINUTE. 155 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,000 THEY WANT ERIN TO DO THIS THING, TOO? 156 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,000 THEY WANT YOU BOTH. I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT. 157 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000 NATIONAL SPOT -- MONEY. WHO KNOWS? 158 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 IT MIGHT BE THE CHANCE TO GET THINGS GOING AGAIN. 159 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000 LET'S DO IT. 160 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,000 [ LAUGHS ] ALL RIGHT! 161 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,000 I'LL SET UP THE MEETING. 162 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,000 BY THE WAY, THEY'RE HAVING A HECK OF A TIME FINDING -- 163 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,000 ERIN. YEAH, SHE'S ACTUALLY NOT ACTING ANYMORE. 164 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000 YOU WANT TO GIVE ME HER NUMBER? 165 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000 NO. 166 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,000 NO, I'LL -- I'LL CALL HER. 167 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 168 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,000 YOU GUYS SEE THAT? 169 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,000 WHAT? 170 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,000 WE ORDERED. YOU SAID THE PHILLY SUB, RIGHT? 171 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,000 THOSE WOMEN. I HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR THEM -- 172 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,000 NOT EVEN A GLANCE. 173 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,000 SO? 174 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,000 WELL, IT USED TO BE AN OCCASIONAL WOMAN 175 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,000 WOULD CHECK ME OUT. 176 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,000 NO. 177 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,000 YEAH, MAN. I USED TO BE HOT. 178 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,000 NO. NO. 179 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,000 YOU WERE LUKEWARM ONCE. 180 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,000 50 POUNDS AGO, YOU WERE LUKEWARM. 181 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,000 NO, I-I WAS HOT, BUT THAT -- THAT'S NOT EVEN IT. 182 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,000 WHAT IT IS, IS 183 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,000 THERE'S A WHOLE GROUP OF WOMEN, 184 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,000 LET'S SAY IN THEIR 20s, A WHOLE GENERATION OF WOMEN 185 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000 WHO I'M -- I'M NOT EVEN ON THEIR RADAR. 186 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000 I'M JUST INVISIBLE, YOU KNOW? 187 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,000 THEY JUST LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME. 188 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,000 THEY PROBABLY LOOK HALFWAY THROUGH YOU 189 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,000 AND THEN THEY HAVE TO REST A LITTLE. 190 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 191 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,000 WHAT DO YOU CARE ANYWAY? 192 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000 YOU'RE A MARRIED MAN. 193 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000 YEAH, AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT THE DEFENDANT. 194 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,000 AND WE'RE BACK. YEAH. 195 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,000 WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT? 196 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,000 HE'S USING HIS SPECIAL SUPER-OBSESSING POWERS TO -- 197 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,000 WILL YOU TELL HIM? I-I CAN'T DO IT JUSTICE. 198 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000 LOOK, SONIA AND I WENT TO MEDIATION, 199 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,000 AND NOW I'M THE DEFENDANT. 200 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,000 WELL, WHAT'S THAT MEAN? 201 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000 NOTHING. IT MEANS NOTHING. 202 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,000 IT'S THE WORD -- "DEFENDANT," RIGHT? 203 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000 I MEAN, IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M THE BAD GUY. 204 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000 I GUESS. 205 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,000 SO SHE'S, WHAT, THE PLAINTIFF? 206 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,000 YEAH. RIGHT? IT'S -- 207 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,000 LOOK, I KNOW IT'S GONNA SOUND STUPID, 208 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,000 BUT IF WE'RE GONNA GET TECHNICAL HERE, 209 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,000 SHE'S THE ONE WHO HAD THE AFFAIR. 210 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 COME ON, JOE. 211 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,000 I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST, YOU KNOW, BE HAPPY 212 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000 THAT THIS IS BEHIND YOU, YOU KNOW? 213 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,000 YES, YES. 214 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000 OKAY, SO WE'RE COOL WITH 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE ENDING 215 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,000 IN A CRIMINAL RECORD? 216 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000 OKAY, GOT IT. 217 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,000 GOOD. 218 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,000 LISTEN, UM, DAY AFTER TOMORROW, 219 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,000 I MAY BE A LITTLE LATE COMING IN. 220 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,000 OKAY. WHAT FOR? 221 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 YOU KNOW THOSE OLD COMMERCIALS THE GUYS AT WORK 222 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000 HAVE BEEN GIVING ME SHIT ABOUT? 223 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,000 MM-HMM. 224 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,000 THEY WANT TO REMAKE THEM. 225 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,000 WHY? 226 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,000 I KNOW, BUT, UM... 227 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,000 WELL, THEY GOT THIS TONGUE-IN-CHEEK IDEA -- 228 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,000 SO YOU JUST STARTED SELLING CARS 229 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,000 AND NOW YOU'RE GOING BACK TO ACTING? 230 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,000 LOOK, I AM COMPLETELY AT THOREAU, OKAY? 231 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000 BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I CAN'T, OCCASIONALLY, 232 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000 EXPLORE ACTING JOBS, RIGHT? 233 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 OH, GOD. YOU'RE TOTALLY GONNA SCREW ME, AREN'T YOU? 234 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000 NO, I AM NOT. 235 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000 I JUST PUT MYSELF WAY THE HELL OUT ON SHIT BOULEVARD 236 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 TO GET YOU THIS JOB, 237 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,000 AND NOW THAT YOU'RE FINALLY LEARNING HOW TO DO IT, 238 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,000 AND GOODBYE? 239 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,000 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M GONNA DO IT, OKAY? 240 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,000 I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE EASY MONEY, 241 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,000 AND I'M HELPING OUT A FRIEND. 242 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,000 YOU'RE HURTING A FRIEND. NOT YOU. 243 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000 A GIRL. 244 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,000 [ Chuckling ] OH, OKAY. 245 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,000 A GIRL. 246 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,000 WHAT DO YOU GOT, ANOTHER 25-YEAR-OLD? 247 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000 NO, NO, OUR AGE. OUR AGE? 248 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,000 HMM, THAT'S REPULSIVE. 249 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000 LOOK, SHE HASN'T ACTED IN A LONG TIME. 250 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,000 SHE PROBABLY COULD USE THE MONEY. 251 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000 THEY NEED BOTH OF US TO DO THIS. 252 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,000 I THOUGHT I WOULD BE A GOOD GUY. 253 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000 AH, SEE? NOW YOU'RE THE DEFENDANT, RIGHT? 254 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000 HOW'S THAT FEEL, MacGYVER? 255 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,000 IT LOOKS THAT WAY NOW, BUT YOU'RE GONNA FIND A JOB. 256 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,000 I'M JUST SAYING I STARTED OUT WITH SOME STANDARDS. 257 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,000 I MEAN, NOW I'M JUST APPLYING FOR EVERYTHING 258 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,000 WITH THE WORD "WRITING" IN IT -- 259 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,000 PROOFREADER, WINE BLOGGER. 260 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,000 SIX HOURS I WAS ON CRAIGSLIST YESTERDAY, 261 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,000 AND ONE WOMAN E-MAILS ME BACK, FROM VEGETARIAN TIMES. 262 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 I HAVE A PHONE INTERVIEW TOMORROW. 263 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000 WELL, SEE, THAT'S GOOD. 264 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,000 [ SIGHS ] YEAH, UNTIL I TELL HER I'VE BEEN A MOM FOR 10 YEARS. 265 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,000 WELL, PUT IT A DIFFERENT WAY. 266 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000 WELL, I'VE TRIED. 267 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,000 "PERSONAL TIME," "SABBATICAL." 268 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,000 LET'S JUST FACE IT -- I'M BEYOND IRRELEVANT. 269 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000 [ LOCK WHIRRING ] MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SAY 270 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000 I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL. 271 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000 THAT SOUNDS MORE INTERESTING. 272 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000 AND WHY AM I HERE, ANYWAY? 273 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,000 YOU KNOW, WE PAY JENNY ALL THAT MONEY 274 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,000 TO STAY WITH THE KIDS. 275 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,000 I JUST FOUND THIS NEW SITE. I COULD BE RESEARCHING... 276 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,000 YOU DESERVE A VACATION. 277 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,000 AND -- AND I'M NOT TRYING TO SAY 278 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,000 THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE OUT THERE LOOKING FOR A JOB, BUT... 279 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 280 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,000 THIS WEEKEND... 281 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,000 I AM THE KING OF THOREAU CHEVROLET, 282 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000 AND YOU ARE ITS QUEEN. 283 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,000 AND YOU WILL BE TREATED AS SUCH. 284 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000 OH! 285 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000 YES, MY KING. 286 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,000 [ LAUGHS ] 287 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 288 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! 289 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000 MY SEXY BEAR. 290 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,000 [ LAUGHS ] 291 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,000 NOW, SEE, I'M THINKING MORE LIKE A JAGUAR, YOU KNOW, 292 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,000 OR A PANTHER OR [GROWLS] 293 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,000 [ GROWLS ] JUST...MM! 294 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000 WE OUGHT TO SHOW THIS BED A THING OR TWO. 295 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,000 [ Laughing ] YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF. 296 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000 YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF, WOMAN. 297 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000 [ SIGHS ] 298 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,000 'CAUSE I'M COMING FOR YOU. 299 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000 LIKE A PANTHER. 300 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,000 [ SNORING ] 301 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,000 ARRIBA! ARRIBA! 302 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,000 DELICIOSO! 303 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000 ARRIBA! ARRIBA! 304 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000 HONEY, I'M HUNGRY! 305 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000 [ Ringing ] 306 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,000 ERIN: Hi, It's Erin. Leave me a message. 307 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000 [ Beep ] 308 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000 YEAH, HEY, ERIN. IT'S TERRY. 309 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,000 I WAS JUST...CHECKING IN, 310 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,000 SEE IF YOU GOT MY MESSAGE ABOUT THAT COMMERCIAL THING. 311 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,000 UM, BECAUSE, UH, YOU KNOW, IT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN. 312 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000 AND I JUST THOUGHT I WOULD, YOU KNOW, TRY YOU AGAIN, 313 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,000 AND MAYBE YOU'RE OUT OF TOWN 314 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,000 OR YOU GOT MY MESSAGE AND YOU ALREADY LEFT ME A MESSAGE 315 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,000 AND I JUST HAVEN'T SORT OF... 316 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,000 SO, ANYWAY, UM, CALL ME BACK. 317 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] 318 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,000 OKAY. 319 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,000 "NOT MY THING, BUT HAVE FUN." 320 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,000 HOW ABOUT... 321 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,000 OH, DAMN IT. 322 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,000 NO. 323 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,000 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] 324 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 325 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,000 TALK... 326 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,000 MM... 327 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] 328 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,000 [ LAUGHS ] 329 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,000 DELICIOSO! 330 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,000 ARRIBA! ARRIBA! 331 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 332 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,000 I'M SORRY I FELL ASLEEP LAST NIGHT. 333 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,000 OH, JUST MAKES YOU MORE RESTED FOR TONIGHT, SWEETHEART. 334 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000 YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. 335 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,000 UM...OWEN THOREAU. 336 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000 HMM. I DON'T SEE YOU. 337 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,000 I'M A DEALER, SO, UM... 338 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000 WAIT, YOUR NAME IS HERE, 339 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,000 BUT IT SAYS YOU'RE ALREADY CHECKED IN. 340 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000 UM... 341 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000 YOU GONNA WASTE THE WHOLE MORNING DILLYDALLYING? 342 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000 YOUR MOTHER AND I CHECKED IN HOURS AGO. 343 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000 DADDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T COMING. 344 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,000 I WASN'T. 345 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,000 BUT YOUR MOTHER WASN'T HAVING IT. 346 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,000 I TRIED TO TELL HER THIS THING'S IN ANAHEIM THIS YEAR, 347 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000 BUT SHE WANTED TO COME, 348 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000 SO I CALLED JEFF AND HE SET IT UP. 349 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,000 GOT OURSELVES A NICE SUITE, TOO. 350 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000 THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME SORT OF A MIX-UP. 351 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 MY FATHER MUST HAVE GOTTEN MY CREDENTIALS. 352 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000 WE HAVE THE SAME NAME. 353 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,000 I CAN TRY TO ISSUE YOU A NEW PASS, BUT I'LL NEED A MANAGER. 354 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,000 YOU GONNA LET SOME LITTLE GIRL 355 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000 IN A PLASTIC BADGE PUSH YOU AROUND? 356 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000 DADDY, LET ME HANDLE THIS. 357 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000 I'LL GET MY MANAGER. 358 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,000 YOU CAN'T BE SOFT WITH STUPID PEOPLE. 359 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,000 NOW, YOU READY TO HAVE SOME FUN? 360 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,000 WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? 361 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000 [ SIGHS ] 362 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000 HMM. 363 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,000 NOT GOOD TODAY. 364 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000 NO. 365 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000 NO, I GOT A LOT ON MY MIND TODAY. 366 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000 [ SIGHS ] 367 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000 YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S SLOW, RIGHT? 368 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,000 I'M GONNA GO -- I'M GONNA GO HOME, CHANGE MY CLOTHES, 369 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000 AND HIT A BUCKET OF BALLS AT THE RANGE. 370 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,000 JUST, UM, TELL MARIA I'LL BE BACK IN LIKE AN HOUR. 371 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000 OKAY. 372 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,000 SUDHEER? 373 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,000 HI. 374 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000 WHAT THE... 375 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000 DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 376 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,000 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 377 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000 UM... OKAY, DON'T FREAK OUT. 378 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000 YEAH, I'M -- I'M... 379 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000 SUDHEER, YOU GOT TO GO HOME. 380 00:13:59,000 --> 00:13:59,000 Sudheer: OKAY. 381 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000 LOOK, LUCY... 382 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000 ALL RIGHT, HOW LONG -- CAN WE TALK ABOUT 383 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000 THIS LATER? 384 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,000 I HAVE AP BIO IN 10 MINUTES. 385 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 386 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000 SORRY. 387 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000 I'M -- I'M SO SORRY. 388 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000 YEAH, THAT'S NOT IT. 389 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,000 OH, SORRY. I DON'T KNOW WHICH -- 390 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,000 YEAH, THAT WAY. OH, OKAY. 391 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,000 BYE, LUCY. 392 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,000 Lucy: DAD, I'M GOING TO SCHOOL. 393 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,000 HEY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS! 394 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,000 DON'T THINK WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS! 395 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,000 THERE SHE IS. OUR FUTURE -- THE VOLT. 396 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,000 CAN GO 40 MILES ON A CHARGE, ALL ELECTRIC, 397 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,000 AND STILL GO 300 MORE ON A GAS-POWERED GENERATOR. 398 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,000 IT'S A GAME CHANGER. 399 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000 Bernie: I REMEMBER WHEN THERE WAS NO ELECTRICITY! 400 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 [ LAUGHS ] 401 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000 BERNIE BUSEN, SON OF A GUN! 402 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,000 HELLO, DARLING. GOOD TO SEE YOU. 403 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000 LOU SALMASSI -- STILL ONLY FOUR FOOT TALL. 404 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000 YOU GOT IT. HOW YA DOIN', OWEN? 405 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000 GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. 406 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,000 HOW'S BUSINESS? 407 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,000 WELL, DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BOYS, 408 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,000 BUT MY SALES HAVE NEVER BEEN BETTER. 409 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,000 NOW I KNOW YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT. 410 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 411 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000 BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU MET MY SON? 412 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,000 OH! CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK. 413 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000 HEY. TALL LIKE YOUR POP. 414 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,000 YOU A BALLPLAYER, TOO? WELL... 415 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,000 NAH, NEVER WAS MUCH OF AN ATHLETE, THIS ONE. 416 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,000 DIDN'T HAVE THE REFLEXES. 417 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,000 HE'D EAT AN ATHLETE'S BREAKFAST, NEVER BURNED IT OFF. 418 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 419 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,000 EDNA, YVONNE, THIS IS MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, MELISSA. 420 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000 OH, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 421 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000 LOVE YOUR OUTFIT. IT'S TARGET. 422 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000 REALLY? YOU'D NEVER KNOW. 423 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000 WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GIRLS, 424 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000 BUT I AM HALF ASLEEP WITH THIS CAR TALK. 425 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,000 WHY DON'T WE GO AND MINGLE? 426 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000 COME ON, DARLING. 427 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,000 UH, HEY, UH, DADDY, UM, I KNOW THERE'S STUFF TO DO, 428 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000 UM, BUT MELISSA AND I WERE KIND OF HOPING 429 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000 FOR A CHANCE TO, YOU KNOW, RELAX A LITTLE. 430 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000 THIS IS NETWORKING, SON. 431 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,000 DON'T WORRY ABOUT MELISSA. SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. 432 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,000 YEAH. 433 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,000 [ ELVIS' "CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE" PLAYS ] 434 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:19,000 ♪ WISE MEN SAY ♪ 435 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,000 ♪ ONLY FOOLS... ♪ 436 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,000 CAN WE GET THE SHOO SHEE FISH FILLET, 437 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000 SOME KHAO MOK KAI, 438 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,000 AND SOME POOJA? 439 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000 THAT'LL DO IT. 440 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,000 I DON'T SEE THAT ON THE MENU. 441 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000 IT'S NOT THERE. THANK YOU. 442 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000 [ CHUCKLES ] WHO ARE YOU? 443 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,000 OH, WELL, THIS IS THE PART WHERE I CHANGE INTO 444 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,000 MY NATIVE THAI COSTUME. 445 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000 "HONEY, I'M HUNGRY!" OH, GOD, TERRY, PLEASE. 446 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000 THOSE COMMERCIALS WERE TERRIBLE. 447 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000 NO, THEY -- 448 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000 MY FAMILY NEVER LET ME LIVE THEM DOWN. 449 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000 WELL, NOW WE'RE IN ON THE JOKE. 450 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,000 YEAH, NO. 451 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000 SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T. 452 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,000 ACTING MADE ME AN INSECURE MESS. 453 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,000 I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT AGING. 454 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,000 I STARTED SLEEPING WITH MY EYEBROWS TAPED -- 455 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 SCOTCH-TAPED LIKE THIS SO I WOULDN'T SCOWL IN MY SLEEP. 456 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000 I-I WENT THROUGH A PHASE 457 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,000 WHERE I WOULD ONLY BUY GIANT COLLARS 458 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000 BECAUSE SOMEBODY TOLD ME, YOU KNOW, I HAD A BIG CHIN. 459 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000 AND I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THAT. 460 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 461 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,000 I REMEMBER THE MOMENT THAT I DECIDED TO JUST GET OUT. 462 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000 I WAS IN A CASTING DIRECTOR'S OFFICE, 463 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,000 AND THIS WOMAN LOOKED AT ME IN THE EYE, AND SHE SAID, 464 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,000 "HONEY, THERE ARE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO A WOMAN'S FACE AT 35 465 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,000 AND THEY'VE ALREADY HAPPENED TO YOURS." 466 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:35,000 ♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪ 467 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 YOU GOT A GREAT FACE. 468 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,000 ♪ TAKE MY WHOLE LIFE, TOO ♪ 469 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] HE WAS JUST SO ADORABLE. 470 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 471 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,000 REMIND ME AGAIN, WOULD YOU? 472 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000 WHY NOTHING EVER HAPPENED BETWEEN US 473 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000 BACK WHEN WE WERE WORKING TOGETHER? 474 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,000 WELL, I TOLD YOU, I DON'T DATE ACTORS. 475 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000 OH. 476 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 OH, YEAH, NO. 477 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000 SORRY, NO. OH. 478 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,000 WOW. NO, IT'S -- I'M -- 479 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,000 I'M SORT OF SEEING SOMEONE. 480 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,000 OKAY. I'M CONFUSED. I KNOW. 481 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000 I-I -- I'M SEEING SOMEBODY. 482 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000 I MEAN, WE'RE ON A BREAK, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S OFFICIAL, 483 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,000 AND IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S JUST A LONG TIME WITH HIM. 484 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000 NOT TO SAY THAT I'M -- 485 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,000 OH, I'M SORRY. 486 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,000 NO, NO. IT'S -- IT'S -- OKAY, GOOD NIGHT. 487 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 488 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,000 OH, TER, IT WAS -- IT WAS FUN, THOUGH, SO...THANKS. 489 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 490 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,000 OH, JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR, 491 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000 I-I DON'T WANT TO DO THE COMMERCIAL. 492 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000 SORRY. 493 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 494 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,000 DID YOU SEE SOME OF THOSE WOMEN YOUR MOTHER'S HANGING OUT WITH? 495 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:45,000 I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH BLING AND BOTOX IN MY LIFE. 496 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000 IT'S LIKE "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF CHEVROLET." 497 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,000 OH, COME ON. IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 498 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000 WELL, IT'S JUST CONFIRMING HOW MUCH I NEED TO GO BACK TO WORK. 499 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000 I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EXCITED I AM 500 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,000 FOR A PHONE INTERVIEW FROM A CRAIGSLIST AD. 501 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:01,000 AND I AM SPENDING THE REST OF THIS TRIP WITH YOU. 502 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,000 END OF STORY. 503 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,000 MM. 504 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,000 SAYS HERE WE GOT A BANQUET TOMORROW. 505 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,000 THAT'S GONNA SUCK. 506 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,000 [ SIGHS ] 507 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,000 THANKS. 508 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,000 SO, YOU WALKED IN ON HER BOYFRIEND PEEING? 509 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 510 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,000 LOOK, I KNOW IT SOUNDS FUNNY... 511 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,000 [ CHUCKLES ] AND, YEAH, THAT PART -- 512 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,000 THAT'S A LITTLE FUNNY. 513 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,000 BUT THE WHOLE THING -- VERY NOT FUNNY. 514 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,000 OKAY. NO, IT'S REALLY -- 515 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,000 IT'S NOT FUNNY. 516 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,000 HA HA. NO. 517 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000 ALL RIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 518 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000 I DON'T KNOW. 519 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000 I HAVEN'T TOLD HER MOTHER YET, 'CAUSE I JUST -- 520 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,000 I WANT TO TALK TO HER FIRST ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW? 521 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,000 AND THEN WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 522 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000 YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD. 523 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000 OOH. I GOTTA GO. 524 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,000 WHAT? I GOT TO SEE THE AD PEOPLE 525 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,000 ABOUT THAT COMMERCIAL. 526 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000 OH, YEAH. 527 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,000 YOU STILL PRETENDING YOU'RE DOING THAT AS A FAVOR 528 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000 FOR YOUR FRIEND, THE OLD LADY? 529 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000 ERIN IS OUR AGE, OKAY? 530 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,000 AND, ACTUALLY, SHE'S NOT DOING THE COMMERCIAL. 531 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,000 AND YOU'RE STILL DOING IT? 532 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000 YEAH. 533 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,000 [ CHUCKLES ] OH, GOD. WELL, I GUESS OWEN WAS RIGHT. 534 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000 NO, NO. I'M NOT GONNA SCREW HIM. 535 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000 YEAH, OKAY. 536 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000 HEY, LOOK, YOU AND HE NEED TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING, OKAY? 537 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,000 I'M AN ACTOR. 538 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,000 I MAY BE A CAR SALESMAN AT THE MOMENT, BUT I'M AN ACTOR. 539 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000 AND I WILL ALWAYS BE AN ACTOR. 540 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000 IT'S IN MY BLOOD. IT'S WHAT I LIKE TO DO. 541 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,000 I'M AN ACTOR, OKAY? 542 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,000 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. GEEZ, YEAH, YOU'RE AN ACTOR. 543 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000 GOTTA GO. 544 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,000 BOY, YOU ACTOR TYPES ARE EMOTIONAL. 545 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 546 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000 [ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ] 547 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,000 HI. 548 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000 UM, I'M HERE TO SEE MANNY KUSHNICK. 549 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000 ARRIBA! ARRIBA! 550 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000 [ Chuckling ] OKAY. 551 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,000 SORRY. YOU MUST BE SICK OF THAT. 552 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000 NO, NO. NO. IT'S... ANYWAY, MR. ELLIOT, 553 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000 THEY'LL BE READY FOR YOU GUYS IN JUST ONE MINUTE. 554 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,000 OH, ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST ME. 555 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,000 UH, NO. YOUR WIFE IS HERE ALREADY. 556 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000 SORRY. HI. 557 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000 I WAS GONNA CALL YOU. 558 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,000 I JUST, YOU KNOW, STARTED THINKING ABOUT IT, 559 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000 AND IT'S A LOT OF MONEY, 560 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,000 AND, YOU KNOW, I'M A TEACHER ON A PUBLIC-SCHOOL SALARY. 561 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000 WHO AM I KIDDING, RIGHT? OKAY. 562 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000 OKAY, THEN. 563 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000 GREAT. [ SIGHS ] 564 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000 AND...I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. 565 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000 OH, NO, NO. 566 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,000 I COMPLETELY MISREAD THE SITUATION, SO... 567 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,000 THEY'RE READY FOR YOU IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME. 568 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000 OKAY. 569 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000 YOU GOOD? YES. 570 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,000 YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER. 571 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000 [ Chuckling ] OH, THA-- 572 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000 THANKS. 573 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000 Melissa: OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. 574 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,000 I'M -- I'M -- I'M SORRY. I CAN'T HELP IT. 575 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000 I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. 576 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,000 THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE GONNA SLEEP ALL MORNING. 577 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000 COME OVER HERE, SON. OVER HERE. 578 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000 HERE, HONEY. SIT DOWN. 579 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000 I WAS JUST TELLING THE GIRLS 580 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,000 THAT THE SALESMAN AT THE GIFT SHOP HERE 581 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,000 THOUGHT MY BALENCIAGA WAS A FAKE. 582 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000 AND I SAID, "YOU BETTER NOT TELL THAT TO MY HUSBAND." 583 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000 [ LAUGHTER, GLASS CLINKING ] 584 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000 UM, AS LONG AS WE ARE GATHERED HERE, 585 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 I'D LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS. 586 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,000 I'VE KNOWN YOU GUYS FOR MORE YEARS THAN I CARE TO REMEMBER. 587 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,000 YOU ARE, IN MY ESTIMATION, THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS, 588 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,000 AND I'D LIKE TO COUNT MYSELF IN THAT CATEGORY, 589 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:00,000 BUT AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE CELEBRATING THE FUTURE OF CARS, 590 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,000 I THINK IT IMPORTANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE 591 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,000 THAT SOME OF US ARE... ANTIQUES. 592 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 593 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000 WHAT WAS THE FUTURE IS NOW THE PRESENT -- 594 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,000 MY SON. 595 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,000 HE'S PUT IN A LOT OF YEARS WITH ME. 596 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,000 I'M NOT ALWAYS THE EASIEST GUY TO WORK WITH. 597 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:22,000 I'M LUCKY TO HAVE HIM AS THE NEW FACE OF THOREAU CHEVROLET. 598 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000 [ APPLAUSE ] 599 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,000 WELL, STAND UP, SON. SAY A FEW WORDS. 600 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,000 UM... 601 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,000 THANKS, DADDY. 602 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,000 UM, IT'S, UH... 603 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,000 IT'S, UH -- IT'S NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU ALL. 604 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,000 UM... 605 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000 UH... 606 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,000 I GUESS I'M THE NEW MODEL THOREAU. 607 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,000 UM, THERE'S NOT AS MANY -- MANY MILES ON THIS ONE, 608 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,000 BUT AS YOU CAN SEE, 609 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,000 THEY HAVEN'T REALLY STREAMLINED THE DESIGN, SO... 610 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 611 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,000 UM, BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS, 612 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,000 IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE WITH YOU. 613 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000 AND, UM... 614 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000 AND, DADDY, I KNOW HOW HARD YOU'VE WORKED, 615 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,000 AND I JUST HOPE THAT I CAN DO YOU PROUD. 616 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,000 HEAR, HEAR. 617 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,000 LET'S EAT UP QUICK, SON. 618 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000 YOU AND I GOT A LOT OF WORK AHEAD OF US. 619 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,000 DON'T WORRY, SWEETHEART. 620 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000 WE'RE GOING TO SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY AT THE SPA. 621 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000 Woman: MM. 622 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000 [ NOTES PLAY ] 623 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,000 HI. 624 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000 HEY. 625 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,000 WHERE -- WHERE YOU GOING? 626 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,000 I JUST CAME HOME FOR A SECOND. I'M GOING OUT AGAIN. 627 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,000 YEAH, I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO -- I THINK WE SHOULD -- 628 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,000 LUCY, CAN WE TALK A MINUTE? 629 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,000 LUCY... 630 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000 I'M LATE TO MEET MEGAN. 631 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000 LOOK, LISTEN, CAN YOU GIVE ME A MINUTE, PLEASE? 632 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000 FINE, GO AHEAD. 633 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,000 [ OFF-KEY NOTES PLAY ] 634 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:49,000 ALL RIGHT, LOOK... ABOUT YESTERDAY... 635 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,000 YOU CAN'T BE DOING THAT THING IN MY HOUSE. 636 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,000 I KNOW. I SAID I'M SORRY. 637 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000 AND ALSO... 638 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,000 JUST -- I'M NOT HAPPY... 639 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,000 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN -- 640 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,000 SUDHEER AND I ARE TOTALLY IN LOVE. 641 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,000 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, OKAY? 642 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000 DID YOU EXPECT ME TO GO TO COLLEGE A VIRGIN? 643 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000 WHY NOT? 644 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,000 I WAS 22 WHEN... FIRST TIME. 645 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,000 [ Sarcastically ] OKAY, DAD. 646 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,000 NO, REALLY, I WAS. 647 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,000 AW, DAD. 648 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, WE'RE GONNA ESTABLISH GROUND RULES HERE 649 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000 'CAUSE, UH... 650 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000 NO BOYS IN THE HOUSE WHEN I'M NOT HERE. 651 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,000 FINE. 652 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000 AND YOU CAN'T USE MY CONDOMS. 653 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,000 EW. 654 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,000 OH, MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 655 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000 WELL, I KNOW ALBERT DIDN'T TAKE THEM. 656 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,000 UGH. THAT IS SO GROSS! 657 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000 ARE WE DONE? CAN I GO? 658 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. LOOK, COME ON. 659 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000 NO, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE. 660 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,000 WE JUST DID, AND, ANYWAY, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 661 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,000 NONE OF MY -- 662 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,000 NONE OF MY BUSINESS? 663 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000 HO-- HOLD ON. WHERE YOU GOING? 664 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,000 TO MEET MEGAN. NO, YOU'RE NOT! 665 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,000 WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. 666 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT, DAD. 667 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,000 YES, YOU ARE! YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS! 668 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,000 WELL, I'M NOT! I'M NOT. 669 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,000 I DON'T WANT TO, DAD. I'M GOING OUT. 670 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,000 YOU'RE NOT -- YOU CAN'T GO OUT! YOU'RE GROUNDED! 671 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,000 WHAT?! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 672 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,000 FOR A WEEK, OKAY? 673 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,000 AND NO CAR. 674 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000 FINE! I'M GOING TO MOM'S, ANYWAY. 675 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,000 WELL, YOU'RE GROUNDED OVER THERE, TOO. 676 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,000 YOU CAN'T GROUND ME AT ANOTHER HOUSE! 677 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,000 I HAVE TO GO TO THE BARBECUE! 678 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,000 WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THAT. 679 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,000 IT'S IN THE BACKYARD. 680 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000 GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, 681 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,000 THEN MAYBE YOU'LL WATCH IT FROM YOUR WINDOW. 682 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000 OH, MY GOD! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! 683 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000 Albert: HEY, DAD, IS THIS THE BLUES?! 684 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,000 [ OFF-KEY NOTES PLAY ] 685 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,000 OH, MELISSA, YOU SHOULD FEEL HOW SMOOTH IT IS. 686 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,000 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD YOUR FEET WAXED? 687 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,000 WELL, THIS IS ACTUALLY MY FIRST TIME. 688 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,000 MY DEAR, YOU DESERVE SOME PAMPERING. 689 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,000 WE ALL DO. 690 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,000 THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR. 691 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000 [ GASPS ] MY GOD. 692 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,000 WHAT'S WRONG? MY INTERVIEW. 693 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,000 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. 694 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,000 MELISSA, HONEY, YOUR NAILS. MELISSA. 695 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000 SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! 696 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000 STUPID RECEPTION! DAMN IT! 697 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000 WHAT HAPPENED? 698 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,000 [ ENGINE REVVING ] 699 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000 FOR AN OLD MAN, YOU SURE DRIVE LIKE AN OLD LADY. 700 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,000 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'M GONNA MAKE IT UP ON THE BACK STRETCH. 701 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,000 YEAH. OH! 702 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,000 STAY OFF THE GRASS, MAN. 703 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000 DAMN LOW BANKING, THIS THING IS -- 704 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,000 HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! 705 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,000 OH! 706 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,000 STILL GOT THEM REFLEXES, THOUGH, DON'T I? 707 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 708 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,000 LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT, HOT SHOT. 709 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,000 HERE'S WHAT I GOT, OLD MAN. 710 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,000 YEAH! OH, NO, NO, NO, NO! 711 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,000 WHOO! 712 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,000 NO, NO, NO, NO. 713 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,000 WHO'S GOT THE REFLEXES NOW? YES! 714 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,000 HI, TINA. THIS IS MELISSA THOREAU. 715 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,000 I THINK I MAY HAVE MISSED YOUR CALL. 716 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000 I HAD BAD RECEPTION, BUT I'M -- BUT I'M ON A LANDLINE NOW. 717 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,000 SO, ANYWAY, OKAY, SO I'LL -- I'LL -- I'LL CALL YOU LATER. 718 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,000 [ RECEIVER CLICKS ] 719 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,000 Sharon: DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD GO TO THE JADE ROOM? 720 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,000 OH, NO, NO. LET'S HEAD OVER TO THE HOT POOLS. 721 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,000 HOW'S THAT? 722 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,000 HE SAYS HE'S GONNA RETIRE. 723 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000 I KNOW. BERNIE SAYS THE SAME THING, 724 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,000 BUT HE WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIMSELF. 725 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000 THAT'S WHO HE IS. 726 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000 LISTEN, I JUST WANT TO GO GET A LITTLE MORE OF 727 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000 THAT CUCUMBER WATER. 728 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ] 729 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 730 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:37,000 Hi, it's Tina. Leave a message. 731 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,000 HI, TINA. THIS IS MELISSA THOREAU. 732 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,000 I-I JUST WANTED TO TRY YOU AGAIN. 733 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000 GUESS WE MISSED EACH OTHER. 734 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,000 SO, GO AHEAD AND GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU HAVE A CHANCE 735 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000 AND -- AND WE'LL TRY TO RESCHEDULE. 736 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,000 THANKS. 737 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,000 MAKING BUSINESS CALLS? 738 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, THIS IS A WORK-FREE ZONE. 739 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,000 OH. [ CHUCKLES ] 740 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000 I MISSED THIS...INTERVIEW. 741 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,000 I WAS BUSY GETTING MY FEET WAXED. 742 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,000 WELL, AT LEAST YOU GOT YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT, HUH? 743 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,000 HEY, LET ME GET ANOTHER VODKA TONIC. 744 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,000 DID YOU WANT SOMETHING? 745 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,000 HOW EARLY IS TOO EARLY FOR A MARGARITA? 746 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,000 IT'S 3:00. ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU'RE ALL SET. 747 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,000 A MARGARITA FOR THE LADY. LET'S GO. 748 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,000 SO, ARE YOU ALL HERE FOR THE CONVENTION, TOO? 749 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,000 DRAGGED HERE BY MY HUSBAND. 750 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,000 SO WE'RE HIDING OUT AND WE'RE GETTING DRUNK. 751 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,000 AH. 752 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,000 WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT SOONER? 753 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 754 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,000 SO, TELL ME... OH, THANK YOU. 755 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,000 WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO? 756 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,000 I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL. 757 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 758 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,000 Man: LOOK, THIS IS THE AMOUNT I'M PREPARED TO PAY. 759 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000 Lawrence: SIR, I HEAR WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM, PRICE-WISE, 760 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000 BUT THE MODEL YOU'RE LOOKING AT IS REALLY POPULAR. 761 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,000 YOU WANT TO ROB ME? 762 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,000 TAKE IT! I GIVE UP! 763 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,000 [ SIGHS ] 764 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,000 [ CELLPHONE VIBRATES ] 765 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,000 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU GUYS. I COME IN HERE. 766 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000 I GET A DIFFERENT GUY WHO TELLS ME DIFFERENT NUMBERS. 767 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000 HEY, PHIL. WHAT'S THE WORD? 768 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000 LOOK, TERRY, I HATE MAKING THIS PHONE CALL. 769 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000 LISTEN, THEY LIKED YOU, BUT... 770 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,000 IT'S NOT GONNA GO ANY FURTHER. 771 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,000 WOW, YOU ARE ONE BITTER PRICK. 772 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000 NAH, I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU. 773 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,000 POP SOME CHAMPAGNE, BROTHER. YOU JUST BOOKED YOURSELF A JOB! 774 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,000 YOU SON OF A BITCH. 775 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,000 [ CHUCKLES ] Oh, man. 776 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,000 GOOD. THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S GREAT NEWS. 777 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,000 HEY, DID YOU CALL ERIN YET? 'CAUSE I CAN -- 778 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,000 WHOA, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 779 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,000 WHAT? 780 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,000 They said they want to go with somebody younger. 781 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,000 YOU KNOW, WHATEVER, HOTTER. 782 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,000 YOU KNOW HOW THESE AD PEOPLE ARE. 783 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000 YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? RIGHT? 784 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000 'CAUSE SHE'S YOUNGER THAN ME. 785 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,000 YEAH, WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 786 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,000 I mean, it's different for men. 787 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000 THEY THINK YOU'RE FUNNY, TERRY. 788 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,000 THEY FIGURE IT'S GONNA BE WACKY DAD AND HIS HOT DAUGHTER. 789 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,000 YOU KNOW THE DEAL. 790 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,000 Look, it's a good gig, Terry. 791 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,000 It's only gonna lead to more work. 792 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,000 You'll be out of that car dealership in no time. 793 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,000 DID YOU CALL ERIN YET? 794 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000 MY NEXT CALL. 795 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000 WHY? YOU WANT TO TELL HER? 796 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,000 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY, HUH? 797 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,000 I MEAN, THIS IS BULLSHIT. 798 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000 [ SIGHS ] 799 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000 YEAH, I'LL CALL HER. 800 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000 DAMN IT! 801 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,000 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? 802 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,000 YOU SHOULD KISS ME. 803 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000 YOU KNOW WHY YOU SHOULD KISS ME? 804 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000 BECAUSE I'M SCREWING YOU? 805 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000 BECAUSE YOU'RE SCREWING ME! RIGHT. 806 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,000 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 807 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000 Albert: "PEEVISH." 808 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,000 "GINGIVITIS." 809 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000 NO, NO, NO, NO. TRY ANOTHER ONE. 810 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000 TRY ANOTHER ONE. 811 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,000 HERE, LET ME DO IT. LET ME DO IT. 812 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,000 [ LAUGHS ] 813 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,000 HEY, HEY, DAD. WE'RE MESSING AROUND WITH NEW BAND NAMES. 814 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,000 JUST -- JUST POINT YOUR FINGER AT ANY WORD, 815 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,000 AND THEN THAT'S GONNA BE OUR BAND NAME. 816 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000 YEAH, UH, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 817 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000 MOM'S INSIDE? YEAH. 818 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,000 HEY, MR. TRANELLI. 819 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,000 HEY. 820 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,000 HEY, SUDHEER. 821 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,000 EXCUSE ME. 822 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 823 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,000 OH. HEY. 824 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000 HEY, UH, WHAT'S LUCY DOING OUT THERE? 825 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000 JOE, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE A MESSAGE 826 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000 AND EXPECT ME TO CANCEL SOMETHING LIKE THIS 827 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,000 ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT. 828 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,000 I'VE HAD THIS PLANNED FOR A MONTH. 829 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000 SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THERE, OKAY? 830 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000 DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE DID? 831 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000 YES. 832 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000 AND I AGREE THAT SHE SHOULD BE PUNISHED 833 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,000 FOR SNEAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE. 834 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,000 BUT YOU CAN'T JUST ARBITRARILY -- 835 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,000 WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER THING, OKAY? 836 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,000 SHE DIDN'T JUST SNEAK INTO MY HOUSE. 837 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,000 YEAH. SHE -- 838 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:53,000 BUT...I DON'T THINK WE CAN STOP THAT, OKAY? 839 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,000 I MEAN, SHE AND SUDHEER... 840 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,000 IT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE. 841 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,000 SO WHAT? YOU KNEW? 842 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000 YOU KNEW SHE WAS HAVING SEX? 843 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,000 WELL, YEAH. 844 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,000 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 845 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,000 WHAT THE HELL? 846 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000 HOW COME NOBODY'S TALKING TO ME? 847 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,000 NOBODY'S NOT TALKING TO YOU, JOE, 848 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000 BUT WITH THIS... 849 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,000 I'M HER MOTHER. IT'S DIFFERENT. 850 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,000 NO, IT'S NOT. THIS IS -- IT'S FAMILY STUFF. 851 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000 JOE, SHE CONFIDED IN ME. 852 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,000 SHE WANTED ME TO KEEP IT A SECRET. 853 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,000 YEAH, OKAY. WELL, SECRETS, YEAH. 854 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE DO AROUND HERE, RIGHT? 855 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000 SECRETS? 856 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,000 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 857 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000 JUST DON'T KEEP THIS SHIT FROM ME, SONIA! 858 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000 YOU KNOW WHAT, JOE? YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. 859 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,000 NO, I DON'T! THIS IS NOT MY FAULT, OKAY?! 860 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000 IF YOU WOULD TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE 861 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000 IN THE FIRST PLACE, 862 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,000 THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE AN ISSUE! 863 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,000 THERE IS NO ISSUE, JOE! 864 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,000 IT'S YOU! YOU ARE MAKING AN ISSUE! 865 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,000 I'M NOT THE BAD GUY, OKAY? I AM NOT THE BAD GUY! 866 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000 AND I'M NOT THE DEFENDANT. 867 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000 I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT SIGNING THAT SHIT! 868 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,000 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD IT IN YOU. THAT'S INCREDIBLE. 869 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:02,000 HEY, THAT'S THE PRETTIEST THING I'VE SEEN ALL DAY. 870 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,000 DO YOU COME WITH THE CAR? 871 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 872 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000 SEE? I STILL GOT IT. 873 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000 HOW DO YOU DO THAT? 874 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,000 I'M INVISIBLE TO WOMEN. 875 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,000 AH, YOU'RE GETTING OLDER. 876 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,000 WAIT TILL YOU'RE A CRAZY OLD MAN LIKE ME. 877 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,000 YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT. YOU GET A FREE PASS, HUH? 878 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,000 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 879 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000 PEOPLE HUMOR YOU. 880 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000 A PRETTY WOMAN SMILES AT YOU 881 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000 BECAUSE YOU REMIND HER OF HER GRANDPA. 882 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,000 AND YOUR GROWN SON 883 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,000 LETS YOU COME BY THE BUSINESS EVERY NOW AND THEN. 884 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,000 WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT "LETS YOU"? 885 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000 THIS IS STILL YOUR BUSINESS, DADDY. 886 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,000 NOT AFTER NEXT WEEK. 887 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,000 NOW, LISTEN, I TALKED TO MY LAWYERS. 888 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000 IT'S ABOUT TIME 889 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,000 I STARTED OFFICIALLY ENJOYING MY RETIREMENT. 890 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,000 MAYBE I'LL FINALLY GET ON THAT FISHING BOAT 891 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,000 INSTEAD OF JUST TALKING ABOUT IT. 892 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000 SO THAT'S WHY YOU CAME HERE? 893 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000 NO, NO, NO. IT WAS YOUR MOTHER. 894 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,000 OKAY, I FIGURED IF I WAS GONNA PASS THE TORCH, 895 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,000 I MIGHT AS WELL PASS IT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY, HMM? 896 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000 OH, THAT'S, UH... 897 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,000 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 898 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,000 JUST GET THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE. 899 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000 BUT LISTEN, IT'S YOUR STORE, 900 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,000 BUT IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE THERE. 901 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000 THANKS. 902 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,000 DON'T NEED ME. 903 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 904 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000 HEY. HUH? 905 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000 YOUR MOTHER SAYS, 906 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000 "I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GET YOUR APPETITE, 907 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,000 AS LONG AS YOU COME HOME FOR DINNER." 908 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,000 SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER? 909 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,000 I DON'T KNOW. 910 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,000 Charles: HERE WE GO! 911 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 912 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 913 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,000 OH, YEAH. 914 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,000 OH, BABY! 915 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,000 BABY, I GOT A JOB! WHAT? 916 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,000 THIS IS MY NEW BOSS, CHARLES. THIS IS MY HUSBAND. 917 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,000 HEY. HEY. 918 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,000 HE WORKS FOR AMAZON, AND THEY NEED SOMEBODY 919 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,000 TO WRITE PRODUCT REVIEWS. 920 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,000 AND I CAN START NEXT WEEK. SHE IS REALLY GREAT. 921 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,000 [ GIGGLES ] WHICH IS ALL 922 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,000 I'M GONNA SAY RIGHT NOW 923 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000 BECAUSE I JUST NOTICED MY WIFE JUST GOT BACK 924 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000 FROM WHATEVER BORING THING YOU GUYS WERE DOING. 925 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000 NICE TO MEET YOU. AND WE'LL TALK. 926 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,000 OKAY, THANK YOU. [ CHUCKLES ] 927 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,000 WOW. MM-HMM. 928 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,000 I GOT A J-O-B. 929 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,000 OH, BABY, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 930 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000 WOW. HAD A LITTLE TEQUILA, DID YOU? 931 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000 IT WAS DELICIOUS. COME ON. 932 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000 HEY, LET ME GET SOME FOOD INTO YOU. 933 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,000 JOE. 934 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,000 I'M SORRY. 935 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:23,000 I'M SORRY. I JUST -- THAT WAS, UH... 936 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,000 IT WAS WAY OUT OF LINE, WHAT I SAID. 937 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,000 YOU KNOW, IT'S -- IT'S NOT -- 938 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000 IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. 939 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,000 REMEMBER THIS? 940 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:40,000 FOUND A WHOLE BUNCH OF THOSE IN THAT BOX YOU GAVE ME. 941 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,000 REMEMBER I WOULD PUTT IN THE LIVING ROOM... 942 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,000 ...AND SHE WOULD TAKE THEM AND MARK THEM UP 943 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000 THEN SHE'D HAND THEM TO ME AND THEN SHE'D GO, 944 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,000 YOU KNOW, AND I'D HAVE TO PUTT THEM RIGHT INTO HER HANDS? 945 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,000 I REMEMBER. 946 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,000 IT'S JUST... 947 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:10,000 I FEEL LIKE IT'S ALL GOING AWAY FROM ME. 948 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,000 YOU WANT A BEER? 949 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000 YOU KNOW, WHEN LUCY WAS LITTLE, 950 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,000 I THOUGHT EVERYTHING I DID WAS GONNA MESS HER UP. 951 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 952 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,000 REMEMBER WHEN I WAS TRYING TO BREAST-FEED 953 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,000 AND SHE WOULDN'T LATCH ON 954 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,000 AND I KEPT TELLING YOU THAT IT WAS ALL GONNA BE MY FAULT 955 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000 WHEN SHE CAME OUT SCREWED UP. 956 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,000 AND THEN WITH THE DIVORCE, 957 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,000 I THOUGHT, "NOW WE'VE ACTUALLY DONE IT. 958 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:42,000 WE'VE RUINED OUR KIDS." 959 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WE DIDN'T. 960 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,000 OUR KIDS ARE GREAT. 961 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,000 I KNOW. 962 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,000 THEY'RE GOOD KIDS. 963 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,000 IT'S JUST -- YOU KNOW, I HAD THIS IMAGE 964 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:58,000 OF WHO SHE IS FROM WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE. 965 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:05,000 AND THE OTHER DAY, IT WAS JUST...A SHOCK, YOU KNOW? 966 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,000 BUT, HEY, LOOK, AT LEAST IT'S SUDHEER. 967 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 968 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,000 FINALLY A BRIGHT SPOT IN THE PARADE OF LOSERS. 969 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:12,000 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 970 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,000 YEAH. HE'S A GOOD KID. 971 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000 YOU KNOW I CAUGHT HIM PEEING? 972 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,000 REALLY? 973 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,000 YEAH, FROM BEHIND. 974 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,000 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON HIS ASS. 975 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000 [ LAUGHS ] 976 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 977 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,000 YOU DON'T THINK ALBERT'S HAVING SEX, DO YOU? 978 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,000 NO. WHY? 979 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,000 NAH, IT'S -- NO, NO REASON. 980 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 981 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,000 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 982 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,000 HI. 983 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,000 SORRY TO STOP BY. IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IS IT? 984 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,000 NO. NO. I'M JUST GRADING PAPERS. 985 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,000 YOU KNOW, I FIGURE I SHOULD KEEP 986 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,000 THE WHOLE HIGH-SCHOOL TEACHER THING ALIVE 987 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000 WHILE I'M GETTING RICH AND FAMOUS. 988 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 989 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,000 YEAH. 990 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,000 SO, HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING? 'CAUSE I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A CALL. 991 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:18,000 YEAH, NO, THAT'S PROBABLY -- THAT'S MY BAD. 992 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000 UM, HERE'S THE THING, 993 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,000 I THINK I MIGHT HAVE REALLY SCREWED UP HERE. 994 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:26,000 PHIL TOLD ME THAT, UM... IT WAS A SHIT DEAL, RIGHT -- 995 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,000 NO RESIDUALS -- 996 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,000 SO I-I TOLD THEM TO JUST, 997 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,000 YOU KNOW, GO SCREW THEMSELVES. 998 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,000 AND, UM... 999 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,000 I HOPE THAT, UH... 1000 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,000 [ Sighing ] OH, THANK GOD. 1001 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,000 [ SIGHS ] 1002 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,000 I'VE BEEN SUCH A MESS ABOUT IT. 1003 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,000 I'VE BEEN HAVING NIGHTMARES ALL NIGHT 1004 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000 AND JUST FREAKING OUT. 1005 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,000 INSTEAD, IT'S A LOAD OFF. 1006 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000 REALLY? YES! 1007 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000 ARE YOU KIDDING? 1008 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000 YOU'RE, LIKE, MY HERO. OH. 1009 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,000 WELL... 1010 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000 DID YOU COME ALL THE WAY OVER HERE JUST TO TELL ME THAT? 1011 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,000 WELL, YEAH. 1012 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 1013 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000 I'M -- I'M -- I'M A LITTLE... 1014 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,000 I-I-I -- WHY -- 1015 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000 WHY DID YOU AGREE TO DO THE COMMERCIAL 1016 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,000 IN THE FIRST PLACE? 1017 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,000 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 1018 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000 UM, I MEAN, I WAS A BASKET CASE, 1019 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:12,000 BUT I FIGURED YOU WERE THERE, SO I'D BE ALL RIGHT. 1020 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,000 HUH. 1021 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,000 I'M -- I'M NOT -- 1022 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000 I MEAN... 1023 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,000 YOU MEAN WHAT? 1024 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000 HMM? 1025 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:27,000 I REALLY DON'T DATE ACTORS. 1026 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,000 I'M NOT AN ACTOR ANYMORE. 1027 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:39,000 ♪ WISE MEN SAY ♪ 1028 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:44,000 ♪ ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN ♪ 1029 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:54,000 ♪ BUT I CAN'T HELP ♪ 1030 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000 ♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪ [ LAUGHS ] 1031 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000 COME ON, BIG BEAR. 1032 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,000 TAKE OFF THOSE CLOTHES AND GET SOME OF THIS HONEY. 1033 00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,000 COME ON. 1034 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,000 WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE THAT HONEY COULD USE 1035 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,000 A STRONG CUP OF COFFEE. 1036 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,000 [ LAUGHS ] 1037 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,000 I LOVE ME SOME TEQUILA. 1038 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,000 IT GETS EVERYTHING GOING. 1039 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,000 YEAH. [ LAUGHS ] 1040 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:08,000 YOU KNOW WHAT? 1041 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,000 I'M GONNA CHANGE MY NAME TO TEQUILA. 1042 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,000 OR MAYBE TEQUEELA. 1043 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,000 OKAY, WELL, YOU STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, TEQUEELA. 1044 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,000 'CAUSE DADDY'S COMING. ♪ IF I CAN'T HELP ♪ 1045 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000 MM. 1046 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000 AHH. 1047 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:27,000 ♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪ 1048 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000 [ SIGHS ] YOU'RE KIDDING. 1049 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000 [ LAUGHS ] YUP. ♪ LIKE A RIVER FLOWS ♪ 1050 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000 BUT YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE, 1051 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,000 'CAUSE THIS WINDOW'S GONNA CLOSE SOON. 1052 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,000 ♪ SURELY TO THE SEA ♪ 1053 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000 [ LAUGHS ] ♪ DARLING, SO IT GOES ♪ 1054 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,000 [ GROWLING ] 1055 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,000 [ LAUGHS ] 1056 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:47,000 ♪ SOME THINGS ARE MEANT TO BE ♪ 1057 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:54,000 ♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪ 1058 00:40:54,000 --> 00:41:01,000 ♪ TAKE MY WHOLE LIFE, TOO ♪ 1059 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:07,000 ♪ FOR I CAN'T HELP ♪ 1060 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:15,000 ♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪ 1061 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:19,000 ♪ LIKE A RIVER FLOWS ♪ 1062 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:23,000 ♪ SURELY TO THE SEA ♪ 1063 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,000 ALL RIGHT, GUYS. ♪ DARLING, SO IT GOES ♪ 1064 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,000 BYE, DAD. 1065 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,000 ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER. 1066 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,000 HEY, UH, SAY HI TO MY MAN SUDHEER, HUH? 1067 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,000 ♪ ...ARE MEANT TO BE ♪ THE SUD-MAN. 1068 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,000 WE BROKE UP. 1069 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:39,000 ♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪ 1070 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:46,000 ♪ TAKE MY WHOLE LIFE, TOO ♪ 1071 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:53,000 ♪ FOR I CAN'T HELP ♪ 1072 00:41:53,000 --> 00:42:01,000 ♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪ 73568

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.