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1
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,404
(indistinct conversations)
2
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,907
("The Oogum Boogum
Song" playing)
3
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,164
SIMON: I'm just like you.
4
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,417
For the most part,
my life is totally normal.
5
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,293
Happy birthday
No! '
6
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,549
SIMON: My dad was the annoyingly
handsome quarterback
7
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,589
who married
the hot Valedictorian.
8
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,508
And, no, they didn't peak
in high school.
9
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,177
-(car door closes)
-(horn honks)
10
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,549
I have a sister
I actually like.
11
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:01,930
Not that I'd ever
tell her that.
12
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,641
And last year, and 200 episodes
of Chopped ago...
13
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,347
she decided
she wanted to be a chef.
14
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,982
Which means we're pretty much
all her test subjects now.
15
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,157
EMILY: Is it spicy, Jack?
16
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,151
(spits)
17
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,119
Oh! Gracious. Oh, my gosh.
18
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,787
SIMON: And then
there's my friends.
19
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,875
Two of them, I've known since
pretty much the beginning of time.
20
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,249
- Or at least kindergarten.
- No.No.
21
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,583
- LEAH: Oh! Sorry!
- Okay. How 'bout that?
22
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,464
(crowd cheering)
23
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,005
SIMON: One of them,
I just met a few months ago,
24
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,631
but it feels
like I've known her forever.
25
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,129
We do everything friends do.
26
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,051
We drink way too much
iced coffee,
27
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,429
watch bad '90s movies
and hang out at Waffle House
28
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,726
dreaming of college
and gorging on carbs.
29
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,683
(cheering continues)
30
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,321
SIMON: So, like I said.
31
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,573
I'm just like you.
32
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,114
I have a totally,
perfectly normal life.
33
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,122
Except I have
one huge—ass secret.
34
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,428
-(knocking on door)
- Hey! Morning! Oh!
35
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,396
- Hey!
- Sorry.
36
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,810
I didn't realize you
were masturbating.
37
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:31,936
Yeah, very funny.
38
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,355
Your sister's downstairs
making some
39
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,527
Ia-di-da pancake thing
she saw on Top Chef,
40
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:37,070
so we should
probably go eat that.
41
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,780
Great. I'll be down
in just a second.
42
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,822
Okay. Right after you finish
searching the internet for...
43
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,445
lingerie photos of Gigi Habib?
44
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,952
(scoffs)
It's Hadid.
45
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,746
Right. I didn't realize
she was your girlfriend.
46
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:50,951
All right, finish up here.
47
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,378
You got me.
48
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,095
(indistinct chatter)
49
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,839
Morning, guys.
50
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:04,969
Simon,
have a seat, honey.
51
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,221
Morning, Simon.
You gotta eat your breakfast.
52
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,221
Please don't tell me
53
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,019
that breakfast is the most
important meal of the day
54
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,063
because that is just so cliché.
You're better than that.
55
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,353
I was gonna say breakfast
lowers LDL cholesterol
56
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,229
and prevents
fluctuating glucose levels
57
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,776
that lead to type two diabetes.
Oh!
58
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,354
Touché.
59
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,194
Nora. These are incredible.
60
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,283
Cornmeal pancakes
with blackberry compote.
61
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,494
But they're not crumbly enough.
62
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,579
Stop it. They're perfect.
63
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:28,868
(Nora sighs)
64
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:29,915
Eat up, Bieber.
65
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,458
Okay, I didn't put
very much powder-
66
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,785
- See you, guys.
- JACK: See you, Simon.
67
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,745
EMILY: Hey, honey. Be back
by seven! It's TV night.
68
00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:44,926
(leaf blower whirs)
69
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:48,551
Hey!
70
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,136
Morning!
71
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,308
It's Simon! I live right here!
72
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,599
I like your boots!
73
00:03:58,905 --> 00:03:59,986
Okay, bye!
74
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:06,990
-(sighs)
-(horn honks)
75
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,496
God damn.
76
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,589
("Rollercoaster" playing)
77
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,175
Yo!
Yo!
78
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,223
Had the craziest dream
last night.
79
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,225
Hey, Nick, you have the
craziest dream every night.
80
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:35,848
NICK: You don't understand.
I'm in this cave, right?
81
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,023
Or maybe it's in outer space.
82
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,646
David Beckham is there
with these two contact lenses
83
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:41,111
and then like, blue one or
red one, like he's a sexy
84
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,563
Morpheus from Matrix.
85
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,113
And I don't know
which one to pick.
86
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,737
I don't know what to do
with these things.
87
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,448
Oh, my God. Have you guys seen
CreekSecrets today?
88
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,537
First of all, you are obsessed
with that blog, so...
89
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,202
LEAH: Okay, but apparently,
Becca Peterson
90
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:55,076
got caught giving Ryan O'Donovan
an HJ in the pool.
91
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,953
That's the real reason
they drained it.
92
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,879
- Man, our janitor needs a raise.
- LEAH: Oh, my God.
93
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,580
-And an HPV vaccine.
—(Nick laughs)
94
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:02,750
NICK:
Leah, I have this dream, right?
95
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,209
LEAH:
Nick, we have a rule, remember?
96
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,965
No analyzing dreams
before coffee.
97
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,345
Hi, could we get
four iced coffees, please?
98
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,177
Oh, could you get Abby's
with milk? She likes milk.
99
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,604
One with milk.
What are you, her barista?
100
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,191
(chuckles) It's not hard
to remember "with milk."
101
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,855
SIMON: Thank you.
102
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,330
ABBY: Hey!
103
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,413
Hey-
Hey-
104
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,170
(gasps) Oh, thank you.
I am figuratively dying.
105
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,043
So, Abby,
last night I dreamt
106
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,673
I put the wrong contacts
in my eyes.
107
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,884
Another dream. You're like...
SIMON: Hmm.
108
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,052
You're like the love child of
109
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,596
Sigmund Freud
and Cristiano Ronaldo.
110
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,261
Oh, my God.
Thanks.
111
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,058
Now, look. I can't see anything
112
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,634
and I'm stumbling around
in this cave,
113
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,016
crashing into stuff,
and then, I wake up.
114
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,064
- That's it?
- NICK: Yeah.
115
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,650
Maybe it's something that
you're not seeing clearly.
116
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,443
Like something that's, like,
right in front of your face.
117
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,361
What am I not seeing?
118
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,814
(exhales) No idea.
119
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,284
("Love me" playing)
120
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,826
Ooh! Ooh!
121
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,754
(indistinct chatter)
122
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,984
We should be hot Pokémon
for Halloween.
123
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,156
Oh, yeah. But I get to be
slutty Charmander.
124
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,616
Cool scarf, Ethan.
125
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,452
Hope it doesn't get caught
in your vagina.
126
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,613
Great choice on
the cargo pants, by the way.
127
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,948
It looks like you got
gangbanged by a T.J. Maxx.
128
00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,287
Whatever, fag.
(laughs)
129
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,790
ETHAN (exhales):
Honestly, it's just
130
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,417
not even a challenge anymore.
131
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,714
LEAH: Dicks.
132
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,632
Wish Ethan wouldn't make it
so easy for them.
133
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,089
Yeah, well, at my old school,
134
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,544
that would have been settled
with a knife fight.
135
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:14,758
-(bell rings)
- Good morning, Creekwood High!
136
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,182
Come on, phones off!
137
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,722
There's a whole
world to look at!
138
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,682
You can look people
in the eyes!
139
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,143
(groans)
Gah! Yeah.
140
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,731
Stop with the selfies.
You're not all that.
141
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,350
I'll see you guys at lunch.
Yeah.
142
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,945
Wow! Simonay.
143
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,650
Look at those new kicks,
my brother.
144
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,857
Where'd you get those? Where
could I get a pair of those?
145
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,113
I forget. Sorry.
You forget?
146
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,568
Come on, you gotta let me
know the brand!
147
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:35,994
I want to be sneaker brothers.
148
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:40,203
Oh, I see more phones!
Who took your phones now?
149
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:44,795
Me! Me! Me took your phones now!
You can get 'em at my office!
150
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,752
I can't believe we have to be
off book, in like, two weeks.
151
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,959
Seriously, Sally Bowles
never shuts the eff up.
152
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,631
SIMON: Don't you wish
you were talentless like me?
153
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:52,836
Here. Let me show you
a thing or two.
154
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,171
SIMON: Because then you could
just be living
155
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,847
the easy life as company member
number eight.
156
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:56,841
(Abby laughs)
157
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,804
Well, well, well...
158
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,512
If it isn't my fellow thespians.
159
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,305
Hey, Martin.
160
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,649
Hey, Spier. Hey, Abby.
161
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,017
Hi.
162
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,065
Excited to rehearse
with you later.
163
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,571
Hey, uh, so, fun fact.
164
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,740
You know that Cabaret was
actually based off a play
165
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,817
called I Am Camera?
166
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,365
Then I Am a Camera was based
off this novel
167
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,987
called Goodbye to Berlin.
168
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,073
And Goodbye to Berlin
was actually based off
169
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,540
Christopher Isherwood's
170
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,747
-early years in Berlin.
-(bell rings)
171
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,871
Wow. That's awesome.
I have homeroom.
172
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:27,875
Yeah. All right.
173
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,339
Well, I think she found
that interesting.
174
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,461
Bye, Martin.
175
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,459
Bye, big boy.
(chuckles)
176
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,804
Suraj! Now.
177
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,799
Come on. You know the drill.
178
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,553
EMILY: I've had an inspiration.
How about The Affair?
179
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,435
No. No. We cannot watch
The Affair as a family.
180
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:46,523
Why not?
181
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,141
Because it's all
about sex.
182
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,610
Oh, well, God forbid we should
watch people make love.
183
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:51,528
Oh, God.
184
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,068
Oh, my God.
You guys are so repressed.
185
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,325
Don't therapize us, okay?
We are not your patients.
186
00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:58,573
- We're your family.
- EMILY: That's true.
187
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,867
If you were my patients, you'd
be much more well-adjusted.
188
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,039
Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby.
Thank you.
189
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,167
She got you.
You know what?
190
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,119
We didn't see last week's
episode of The Bachelor.
191
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,004
How did that guy
even become the bachelor?
192
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:09,955
Why?
193
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,456
Well, he's clearly gay.
194
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,501
NORA: No, he's not.
Really?
195
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,502
- He's handsome.
- That date, where he took the girl
196
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,094
to the "make your
own perfume" place?
197
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,968
Dad! The producers
plan those dates.
198
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,094
He is so fruity.
He's so fruity.
199
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,384
He's a one-man pride parade.
Are you kidding me?
200
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,056
-He has more chemistry
-Just stop it.
201
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,434
with Chris Harrison
than any of those girls.
202
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,691
(whispers) After this, I gotta
show you something.
203
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,692
Okay?
Let's watch The Americans.
204
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,612
EMILY: Every single episode,
you here next to me.
205
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,355
So your mother decided
that we should make
206
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,906
each other anniversary
presents this year.
207
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,200
You know, so they came
from the heart, or some crap.
208
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,657
Anyway, I decided to come up
with this bad boy.
209
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:42,655
Look at this.
210
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,533
I present to you,
a Jack Spier production.
211
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,038
-(mouse clicks)
—("Heaven" playing)
212
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,246
Wait, wait.
213
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,040
Look at that!
214
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,129
Oh, it's so good.
215
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,098
Look at this.
Wait, wait, wait.
216
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,306
SIMON: Yup. Okay.
217
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:07,429
(stops video)
218
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,809
What are you...
219
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,559
Look, this is your
20th anniversary,
220
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,355
so I'm gonna be super real
with you right now.
221
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,649
This looks
like a fourth grader made it.
222
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,191
And not even the smartest
fourth grader in the class.
223
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,067
Just, like,
a deeply average fourth grader.
224
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,822
What are you talking about?
This is amazing.
225
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,991
I got fade-ins.
I got dissolves.
226
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,660
-This is beautiful.
-Get up for a second.
227
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,115
I'll help you. Trust me.
228
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,034
We can make this good.
We just gotta put in...
229
00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,411
you know, some home video.
230
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,794
Maybe put in some better music.
231
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,334
"Better music"? This was huge
when we were young.
232
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,674
Yeah. So was
Bill Cosby.
233
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,843
("Waterloo Sunset" playing)
234
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:49,772
(cell phone ringing)
235
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,692
- Hey.
- Have you seen the new post?
236
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,311
No. What? Oh, my God.
237
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,858
You know, I'm never getting
back in that pool again.
238
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,153
Wait, no. About the closeted
gay kid at school.
239
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,111
What?
240
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,154
LEAH:
Yeah, it's on CreekSecrets.
241
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,586
-LEAH: Who do you think it is?
-(exhales)
242
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,460
I bet it's that sophomore
with the rimless glasses.
243
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,419
I get a vibe.
244
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,090
-Actually.
-H m m.
245
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,930
Maybe it's Parker O'Malley.
246
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:25,970
I've heard he's, like,
obsessed with Les Mis.
247
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,676
Oh, gosh. Jeez. I gotta go.
248
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,431
Bieber just took a dump
on the floor.
249
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,687
LEAH: Aw, Beebs.
250
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,013
- Feed him some rice...
- Can I call you back?
251
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,395
SIMON: "Sometimes I feel like
I'm stuck on a Ferris wheel.
252
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,279
One minute I'm on top
of the world,
253
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,648
and the next,
I'm at rock bottom.
254
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,155
Over and over, all day long.
255
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,202
Because a lot
of my life is great,
256
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,742
but nobody knows I'm gay.
257
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,323
Blue. "
258
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,291
(exhales)
259
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,413
(clears throat)
260
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,211
Blue. Okay.
261
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:43,669
(exhales)
262
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,895
SIMON: Dear Blue,
I'm just like you.
263
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,897
For the most part,
my life is totally normal.
264
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,474
My dad was the annoyingly
handsome quarterback
265
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:58,854
who married the
hot Valedictorian.
266
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,276
And no, they didn't
peak in high school.
267
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,362
I have a sister] actually like.
Not that I'd ever tell her that.
268
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,231
And then, there's my friends.
269
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,532
We do everything friends do.
We drink way too much...
270
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,485
So, like I said,
I'm just like you.
271
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,071
I have a totally,
perfectly normal life.
272
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,490
Except I have one
huge—ass secret.
273
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,524
Jacques.
274
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,288
(panting)
275
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,456
Hey. Morning.
276
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:58,952
(cell phone chimes)
277
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,088
(Sighs)
278
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,090
Nothin'.
279
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,979
TEACHER: Math is what
we're talking about.
280
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,899
Can anyone answer for me
how we find the value
281
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,688
of "d—y by d—x"
282
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,978
that I have
written up on the board?
283
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,731
Does anyone want to...
Yes! Simon.
284
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:29,866
Can I go to the bathroom?
285
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:31,951
Sure, it's fine.
286
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,028
Thanks.
287
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:55,767
(Sighs)
288
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,513
Simon. Simon.
289
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,148
- Yeah.
- Can I get some fries?
290
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,484
-Oh, yeah.
—BRAM: Yeah? Thanks.
291
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,565
GARRETT: I'm telling you,
the Oakwood Tigers
292
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,442
score so many goals
because they shave their legs.
293
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,357
Garrett, I'm not gonna
shave my legs.
294
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,529
It makes their kicks
more aerodynamic.
295
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,654
-We can just do extra burpees, man.
-Whatever, Bram.
296
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:19,454
Guys, I just found
a press—on nail in my salad.
297
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,868
BOTH: Debbie.
298
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:23,707
(indistinct chatter)
299
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,587
Why is there no cell reception
at this school?
300
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:30,259
I swear to God.
301
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,098
Simonay, Simonay.
Hey.
302
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,229
What are you doing?
You can't text in the halls.
303
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,476
How many times
have I told you that?
304
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,394
I can't have all my students
Tindering it up.
305
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,350
That's my department.
306
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,560
Right.
(laughing)
307
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:47,564
It actually is.
308
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,529
I got a really hot date
on Tinder tonight.
309
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,196
She is cute!
310
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:55,785
"Ew! Vice principals can't go
on dates. That's gross."
311
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,286
We're people too, Simon.
312
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,330
We like to go out.
We like to have a good time.
313
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,408
We like to have sex.
That's not a big deal, right?
314
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:02,788
Yeah, no. No biggie at all.
315
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:04,461
Actually, you know,
I totally see you as a person.
316
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:05,753
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Yeah.
317
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,126
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
318
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,297
Seriously.
Yeah. Yeah.
319
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,499
Could I just get
my phone though?
320
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,005
No. Unfortunately,
I'm gonna have to keep it
321
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,051
until after play practice.
322
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,591
But you will get your precious
323
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,305
after play practice, okay?
I promise.
324
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,056
So how's play practice going?
325
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,884
- SIMON: Great. Yeah, it's...
- MR. WORTH: How's Ms. Albright?
326
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,517
SIMON: She's good.
327
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,471
MR. WORTH: She's good?
She doesn't like men.
328
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:26,566
♪ Willkommen, bienvenue ♪
329
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:31,988
♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪
330
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:32,939
(laughs)
331
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:39,075
♪ Au cabaret, to cabaret ♪
332
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,963
(claps)
333
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:50,332
Okay-
334
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:54,837
Those aren't actual claps.
My hands are tired! (chuckles)
335
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,172
Okay! All right.
336
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,761
That was...
337
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,513
Cal, help me. That was...
338
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:02,681
That was a start?
339
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,059
That was a start!
Is what it was.
340
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,306
That was a start.
341
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,937
You know, when Mr. Worth
told me that no student,
342
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,898
regardless of talent...
(chuckles)
343
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:14,193
...was to be left out of
my production, I had my doubts.
344
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,111
Yes, I did.
(chuckles)
345
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:17,988
Yeah.
346
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,203
That's it.
That's my whole speech.
347
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,450
TAYLOR: Ms. Albright.
348
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,618
Hi.
349
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,542
That was the biggest train
wreck our stage has ever seen.
350
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,165
And Rob and Brianne
were practically
351
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,246
dry humping the whole song.
352
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:30,755
MS. ALBRIGHT: Oh, I saw.
353
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,217
Save the kissing
for the cast party. All right?
354
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:38,013
This is war. You're Nazis.
Okay? More anger.
355
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,717
Suraj, stop pretending
that trumpet is your penis!
356
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,134
- My boy.
-(all laughing)
357
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,053
It is a rental.
358
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:50,434
I was an extra in The Lion King,
and this is where I am.
359
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,479
Hey. What time is it?
360
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,156
Ten minutes since the last time
you asked. Go.
361
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,950
One! Two! Three! Four!
362
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,494
ABBY: ♪ Welcome... ♪
363
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,788
MS. ALBRIGHT: I will kill you.
364
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,866
Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy, yo!
365
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,952
- Mr. Worth.
- Hey, what's up, my brother?
366
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,457
Hey, just here for my phone.
367
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,710
Oh, of course you are.
Of course you are.
368
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,214
How'd you enjoy
being unplugged?
369
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,337
It was great.
370
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,585
- Great, right?
- Yeah.
371
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,295
This isn't life, man.
This is plugged.
372
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,970
-This is unplugged.
-Mm-hmm.
373
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,636
-Plugged. Unplugged-
-Yep.
374
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,926
All right, Simon, I know that
I'm hard on you. I really do.
375
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,227
SIMON: Mm—hmm.
376
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,897
But it's only 'cause I really
see myself in you.
377
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,809
Uh... You know, I don't know
if I'd say that.
378
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,939
No, I see it, it's obvious.
It's obvious.
379
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,187
I know there's a lot
380
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:36,859
going on there, man.
Yup.
381
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,231
And I bet you
got a lot of questions.
382
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,908
Is there something
you wanna say to me?
383
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:41,867
No.
You know my policy.
384
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,119
What does it say?
385
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,614
-"Open door. Open ears."
-"Open door. Open ears."
386
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,911
There's nothing
you want to say?
387
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,617
-Nope.
—You sure?
388
00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:50,869
Yeah.
Okay.
389
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,294
It's a great sign though.
Thank you.
390
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,587
Thank you.
Now don't text and drive.
391
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:54,914
That's how my cat got murdered.
392
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,462
Okay.
(laughs)
393
00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:59,051
I'm just kidding.
I don't have cats. I got asthma.
394
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,143
(Sighs)
395
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:18,526
BLUE: A secret, huh?
396
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,273
Is it the same as my secret?
397
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,658
If it is, when did you know?
398
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,365
-Have you told anyone? Blue.
—(horn honking)
399
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:28,740
Okay-
400
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:44,347
SIMON: No, Blue.
I haven't told anyone.
401
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,221
And, honestly, I can't even
really explain why.
402
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,970
Deep down, I know my family
would be fine with it.
403
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,189
Hey, what rhymes
with "patriarchy"?
404
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,354
That says "patriachy" though.
405
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,060
Oh, shit.
406
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,192
SIMON: My mom's about
as liberal as they come.
407
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,907
And my dad isn't exactly
the macho type.
408
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,944
I mean, Creekwood's
resident out—gay kid
409
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,119
seems to be doing just fine.
410
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,159
When Ethan came out,
no one even cared.
411
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,870
Guys, I have something
to tell you.
412
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:13,660
I'm gay.
413
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:17,831
Wow, really?
That's really great, Ethan.
414
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,631
Oh, my God. No way.
415
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:22,711
Oh, my God, you are?
I had no idea.
416
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,512
What a complete surprise!
417
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,930
Too much, Claire.
418
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,224
SIMON: As for how I knew
I was gay,
419
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,013
it was a bunch of
little things.
420
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,349
Like this one recurring dream
421
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,272
I kept having
about Daniel Radcliffe.
422
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,318
And then proceeded to have
every night for a month.
423
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,576
I was obsessed
with Panic! at the Disco.
424
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:53,120
I can't. He's so cute.
He's so cute.
425
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,666
He's...
(clears throat)
426
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,210
Come on,
he's like Jesus and chocolate.
427
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,079
Just look at him.
428
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,289
SIMON: Then I realized
429
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:00,839
it really wasn't
about the music.
430
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,000
And then there was
my first girlfriend.
431
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,756
I think I'm falling
in love with you.
432
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,255
Wow. Thank you. Be right back.
433
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:12,306
Wasn't my proudest moment.
434
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,479
How 'bout you?
How did you know?
435
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,609
Warmly, Jacques.
436
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:30,657
Fondly, Jacques.
437
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,285
Jacques.
438
00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:45,126
(cell phone chimes)
439
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:51,591
BLUE: Jacques, don't worry.
440
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,677
If your proudest moment
happened in middle school,
441
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,102
that would be pretty sad.
442
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,975
For me, I realized I liked guys
443
00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:58,056
watching Game of Thrones.
444
00:21:58,192 --> 00:21:59,353
My friends were all
holding their breath
445
00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,231
waiting to see
the Dragon Princess's boobs.
446
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,983
I was crushing hard
on Jon Snow.
447
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,360
SIMON: Well,
I've never told anyone
448
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,988
about my Daniel Radcliffe phase
so now we're even.
449
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,323
And for the record,
450
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:12,945
I think Jon Snow
is an excellent choice
451
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,155
for your sexual awakening.
452
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,036
So I guess, if I want
to find you at school
453
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,037
I just have to look for
the Game of Thrones fanatic.
454
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:30,964
Wow.
455
00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:33,174
I was just listening to that
M83 song "Reunion,"
456
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:34,555
and it made me think of you.
457
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,803
BLUE: You'll probably think
my music taste is lame.
458
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:38,979
Kind of have the same taste
as my Aunt Sally
459
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:40,602
who loves show tunes.
460
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,692
Obviously, some of the things
I've told you about myself
461
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,277
are things I've never
talked about with anyone.
462
00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:47,984
There's something about you
that makes me want to open up.
463
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,032
And that's
slightly terrifying for me.
464
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,109
SIMON: So I've been thinking,
465
00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:52,827
maybe I should be
Jon Snow for Halloween.
466
00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:55,033
What about you?
Who are you gonna be?
467
00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:57,498
BLUE: I'm not dressing up.
468
00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:59,617
For me, Halloween 's
all about the Oreos
469
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,376
with the orange frosting
in the middle.
470
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:05,006
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Hey.
471
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,379
Wow. Look at that smile.
You're glowing, man.
472
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,425
No.
You are glowing.
473
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:09,377
You look happy.
474
00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:10,587
Oh, just regular.
475
00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:11,716
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
476
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:14,011
Me too. I'm a little meh.
477
00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:16,259
Why "meh"?
478
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:19,850
Oh, I had my big Tinder date
last night. Oh, God.
479
00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:21,935
She was not into it.
(chuckles)
480
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:23,524
At. All.
481
00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:25,226
(bell ringing)
482
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:26,982
- Oh, come on. Too soon.
- No.
483
00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:28,396
The bell is a buzzkill.
484
00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:29,738
- See you, Mr. Worth.
- All right.
485
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:32,400
(Simon sighs)
486
00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:33,905
Well, thank you
for your help, Fräulein.
487
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:34,861
You're welcome.
488
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,581
German accent for Cabaret.
Yup. Take care, Ms. Bradley.
489
00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:40,909
Ladies.
490
00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:45,041
Let's see what you got,
interwebs.
491
00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:54,555
LEAH: Here are your burnt tots,
because you have horrible taste.
492
00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:56,716
SIMON:
Here's your green banana,
493
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,092
because you like
disgusting things.
494
00:23:58,187 --> 00:23:59,677
- LEAH: Mm-hm.
- Wow, you guys are weird.
495
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:02,431
Yup. They're practically
Cantonese twins.
496
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,519
Siamese.
Yeah. Siamese.
497
00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:06,100
Yeah, agree to disagree.
498
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,268
I don't think
that's one of those
499
00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:08,353
things where you can
agree to disagree.
500
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:09,312
agree.
It's just right.
501
00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:10,772
NICK: To each his own.
502
00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:13,191
BRAM: Oreos.
503
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:15,443
Man, I love those.
504
00:24:15,913 --> 00:24:17,074
Halloween ones
are the best, right?
505
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:18,162
Yeah.
506
00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:20,953
Er, so, guys, I have great news.
507
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:22,374
My aunt's boyfriend
508
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,452
just took off with her car
and all her jewelry.
509
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:26,036
Bram, that's
terrible news!
510
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,163
I know, but it's like,
511
00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:28,418
the third time
it's happened to her.
512
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:29,881
She has really
bad taste in men.
513
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:34,046
Anyways, my mom is going down
to Orlando to deal with it
514
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,972
which means I get to throw
a Halloween party.
515
00:24:37,351 --> 00:24:38,933
Awesome!
Yay!
516
00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:39,884
Nice!
517
00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,811
Thank you,
Bram's dumb—ass aunt!
518
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:43,267
All right, this is
gonna be epic, you guys.
519
00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:45,097
I can bring
my karaoke machine.
520
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:47,516
All right, hey, guys,
Halloween party Friday night!
521
00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:49,143
Friday night, Halloween party,
okay? Bram's house!
522
00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:51,229
- You really set this in motion, man.
- I know, right?
523
00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:52,230
Hey, little guy.
524
00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:53,572
Me?
Halloween party.
525
00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:55,692
Friday night.
Bram's house. Be there.
526
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,242
- You're gonna freak him out, man.
- GARRETT: Yeah.
527
00:24:57,538 --> 00:24:59,074
LEAH: I know.
He's, like, nine years old.
528
00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:09,751
BLUE: Very relieved that
we're in agreement on Oreos.
529
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,958
That would have been
a deal—breaker for me.
530
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:16,300
On a totally different,
non—cookie related note...
531
00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:19,511
is it weird that I have no idea
what you look like,
532
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:22,559
but I can't stop thinking
about kissing you.
533
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:26,438
TEACHER: Simon. Simon.
534
00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:28,940
Eyes on your own test.
535
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:40,615
Don't stop on my account,
Rob and Brianne.
536
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,367
That's the most action
I've seen in weeks.
537
00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:45,826
What do we got here? Ah!
When we're done, it's gonna look
538
00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:48,627
like a real German sex club.
Don't ask me how I know.
539
00:25:48,714 --> 00:25:49,954
(laughs)
540
00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:51,671
Hey! Hey!
541
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:54,091
The spray paint is for painting,
not for huffing.
542
00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:56,043
You don't want
to get good at that.
543
00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:58,137
Okay, do you guys think
I should dye my hair grey
544
00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,180
-to play Fräulein Schneider?
- Sure.
545
00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:01,757
TAYLOR: Really? But my hair
is kind of like my thing.
546
00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:03,342
I'm gonna go get a soda.
547
00:26:03,437 --> 00:26:04,393
Do you want anything?
548
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:07,017
- No.
- MS. ALBRIGHT: You disgust me.
549
00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:17,778
Simon! Hey, hey, hey-
550
00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:19,282
Hey, Martin.
Buddy.
551
00:26:19,787 --> 00:26:22,779
Hey, um, I used the computer
in the library right after you.
552
00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:24,951
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
553
00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:28,702
Well, I went to Gmail,
and it pulled up your account.
554
00:26:28,837 --> 00:26:30,919
And I, uh, read
some of your emails.
555
00:26:31,048 --> 00:26:32,209
I know
I probably shouldn't've,
556
00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:34,006
but they were, like,
right there. (chuckles)
557
00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:36,216
So you'll be interested
to know my brother's gay.
558
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:43,091
No. Martin, that wouldn't
interest me to know.
559
00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,096
Okay. Don't worry.
I won't show anyone.
560
00:26:46,563 --> 00:26:47,598
Show anyone what?
561
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:51,724
Did you print my emails
or something?
562
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,776
Oh, no, no. (chuckles)
563
00:26:54,363 --> 00:26:55,853
I screenshot them.
564
00:26:55,989 --> 00:26:58,276
- You screenshotted my emails?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
565
00:26:58,408 --> 00:26:59,648
Let me talk to you for a second.
566
00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:02,822
- Oh, Ms. Bradley.
- MS. BRADLEY: Hello, Martin.
567
00:27:02,913 --> 00:27:05,200
- Did you feather your hair?
- No, Martin. Shh.
568
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,538
MARTIN: Looking good, huh?
569
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:08,415
This is a good section.
570
00:27:09,878 --> 00:27:10,743
MARTIN: Jeez.
571
00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:13,329
Now, why the hell
did you screenshot my emails?
572
00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:16,715
Ah, well, you and Abby Susso
are good friends. Right?
573
00:27:16,844 --> 00:27:17,754
Yeah. We know each other.
574
00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:18,926
What does that have
to do with anything?
575
00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:21,879
Well, I need you to help me
talk with her...
576
00:27:22,516 --> 00:27:24,257
and hang out with her
and stuff, you know?
577
00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:25,758
Why would I help you do that?
578
00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:28,974
Are you blackmailing me?
579
00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:32,019
Oh, shh! Okay. Don't be
so dramatic here, Simon.
580
00:27:32,109 --> 00:27:32,974
SIMON: Sup, Tyler?
581
00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:35,104
MARTIN: What's up, Tyler?
Is that a Patagonia?
582
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:38,233
Nice. I just like her.
583
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:41,448
And I think
that you could help me.
584
00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:44,739
Yeah, what if I say no, Martin?
I mean, what are you gonna do?
585
00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:46,078
You gonna tell the whole school
that I'm...
586
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,201
You're gonna leak my emails?
587
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:49,908
You're gonna post 'em
on CreekSecrets?
588
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,868
I just think
that we're in a position here,
589
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:54,078
where we could help
each other out is all.
590
00:27:55,090 --> 00:27:56,205
So think about it.
591
00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:58,127
Good talk.
592
00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:07,933
You know, I never thought
of a pepper
593
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,476
as being a vegetable...
(cell phone chimes)
594
00:28:09,605 --> 00:28:10,640
...but it makes perfect sense.
595
00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:13,764
EMILY: I like the cilantro.
A little Mexican flair, huh?
596
00:28:13,984 --> 00:28:15,190
JACK: Very creative, kiddo.
597
00:28:15,652 --> 00:28:17,643
You hate the peppers.
Don't you?
598
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:20,195
No. The peppers are great.
599
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:22,906
I'm just gonna get some air.
600
00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:36,663
BRAM: Jacques, I have to get
something off my chest.
601
00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:39,548
The other day, you asked me
what I was wearing for Halloween
602
00:28:39,635 --> 00:28:41,842
and I said
I wasn't dressing up.
603
00:28:42,596 --> 00:28:44,052
I lied. Truth is,
604
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:45,800
I didn't want you to know
what I was wearing
605
00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:48,007
because I don't want you
to know who I am.
606
00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:51,435
Right now, these emails,
they feel like
607
00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:53,012
this totally safe place.
608
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:55,935
I'm just not ready
for my whole world to change.
609
00:28:56,276 --> 00:28:57,482
I hope you understand.
610
00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,522
(indistinct conversation)
611
00:29:04,618 --> 00:29:07,656
SIMON: Yes, Blue. I understand.
612
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:24,878
(sniffing)
613
00:29:25,973 --> 00:29:27,680
Okay, if you want me
to help you with Abby,
614
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:28,847
you cannot eat that.
615
00:29:29,351 --> 00:29:30,341
So you're gonna help me?
616
00:29:30,686 --> 00:29:31,767
Yeah.
617
00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:34,057
(chuckles)
618
00:29:34,815 --> 00:29:37,933
Simon, that is fantastic news.
619
00:29:38,068 --> 00:29:39,979
I really think that Abby and I
are meant to be together.
620
00:29:40,070 --> 00:29:41,276
Really? Do you?
Mm-hmm.
621
00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:42,774
It's not all about looks,
Simon.
622
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:45,276
Okay. So you're banking
on your great,
623
00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:47,404
blackmaily personality
to get the job done?
624
00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:48,575
Where are we going?
625
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:49,572
Your place.
626
00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:50,820
We're gonna see
if you have anything
627
00:29:50,956 --> 00:29:52,321
that doesn't scream
"punch me."
628
00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:54,243
Actually, I've got swim lessons.
629
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:55,741
Cancel it!
630
00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:58,827
MARTIN: Okay, I just have to
call my mom first.
631
00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:01,004
She has to approve everybody
that comes in the house.
632
00:30:02,384 --> 00:30:04,045
All right. Here we go.
633
00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:08,178
All right. And here we are.
634
00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:10,885
This is where the magic happens.
635
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:12,008
Wow.
636
00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:14,636
Ooh. Correction. (chuckles)
637
00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:17,346
This is where the magic happens.
638
00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:20,812
I've been dabbling
in close-up illusions.
639
00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:22,101
Does Abby like magic?
640
00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:24,478
No. Martin, I don't think
she does like magic.
641
00:30:24,573 --> 00:30:26,109
But, um,
there's a really thin line
642
00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:28,987
between laughing with someone,
and laughing at someone.
643
00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:30,659
And you are that line.
644
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:32,077
So, if you want
Abby to like you,
645
00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:33,529
what you have to do
is you have to
646
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,030
make her see you
as more of a...
647
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,248
As sexy Martin!
648
00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,084
Yeah! Yeah, I could be sexy.
649
00:30:41,506 --> 00:30:43,372
You like dudes. Tell me.
650
00:30:43,633 --> 00:30:44,964
What part of me
do you find the hottest?
651
00:30:45,135 --> 00:30:47,126
-No. I'm not doing this.
-No. Come on.
652
00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:48,631
No, Martin.
I don't want to answer that.
653
00:30:48,722 --> 00:30:49,962
Look, if you said my shoulders
654
00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:52,424
I would dress to accentuate.
You know?
655
00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:54,432
You know what?
Here's your first tip.
656
00:30:54,603 --> 00:30:55,468
Ripped.
657
00:30:55,604 --> 00:30:56,469
Girls,
658
00:30:56,646 --> 00:30:58,762
they don't want
to read your clothes.
659
00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:00,306
I think you're wrong
about that one.
660
00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:02,975
- How many of these do you have?
- Hey, can you--
661
00:31:03,278 --> 00:31:06,236
Please, just stop! Hey! Stop!
662
00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:09,235
Look, I don't want your help
in changing me.
663
00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:13,202
I want your help in getting
Abby to like me for me.
664
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,031
Look. Um...
665
00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:21,874
there's a party this Saturday.
At Bram's.
666
00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:26,335
Do you want to go
with my friends and I?
667
00:31:26,593 --> 00:31:27,674
Yes!
668
00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:30,093
Yes! So simple.
669
00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:32,425
Must be why
they call you Simple Simon.
670
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,348
Nobody calls me that, Martin.
671
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,551
Hey, uh, do you want to,
like, sleep over?
672
00:31:38,271 --> 00:31:39,136
SIMON: Nope.
673
00:31:49,449 --> 00:31:50,530
Oh, hello.
674
00:31:51,159 --> 00:31:52,399
Hey, what's up?
675
00:31:52,536 --> 00:31:53,776
- Nice, right?
- LEAH: Nick.
676
00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:54,777
Good?
677
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:57,154
This is, like, a new level of
laziness, even for you.
678
00:31:57,416 --> 00:31:59,828
What do you mean?
I'm Cristiano Ronaldo.
679
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:00,908
And you couldn't
even be bothered
680
00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:02,333
to fill in the letters
on the back?
681
00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:04,586
No, come on. Give me that.
682
00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:07,752
You are a bully.
(laughs)
683
00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:11,127
(In a British accent) Hey. Don't
talk about Yoko that way, man.
684
00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,717
Because if you do,
you're out of the band.
685
00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:15,176
Who are you guys
supposed to be?
686
00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:18,425
John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
687
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:20,978
Oh! I thought she was the girl
from The Ring,
688
00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:22,354
and you were Jesus.
689
00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:25,600
Jesus? No. Why would Jesus be
wearing a white suit?
690
00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:26,942
I don't know. You tell me.
691
00:32:27,028 --> 00:32:28,894
You're the one who decided to
dress up like fancy Jesus.
692
00:32:29,030 --> 00:32:30,441
Oh, my God. Okay. Come here.
693
00:32:30,699 --> 00:32:31,689
Turn around.
I'm here.
694
00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:32,648
Turn around.
Okay.
695
00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:35,404
Okay. Way better.
Is it good? Is it?
696
00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:36,951
Yeah. Now, we need to do
something about this hair.
697
00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,153
Maybe slick it back?
698
00:32:38,248 --> 00:32:40,034
NICK: It doesn't do that.
It doesn't slick back.
699
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:41,865
Wonder Woman in the hizzy!
700
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:42,950
NICK: Hi!
701
00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:44,493
I made up a catchphrase,
702
00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:46,127
'cause Wonder Woman
doesn't have one.
703
00:32:47,674 --> 00:32:48,539
"Hizzy" means house.
704
00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:49,839
Yeah.
Yeah.
705
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:50,916
Right. Yeah.
Yeah.
706
00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:53,293
Oh, Abby,
you look amazing.
707
00:32:53,513 --> 00:32:54,469
Thank you!
708
00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:56,968
Yeah.
You look awesome.
709
00:32:57,684 --> 00:32:59,595
I'm gonna go make
those frozen pizzas.
710
00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:02,344
-NICK: All right.
-Yeah, I'll help.
711
00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:05,685
That's a nice costume,
for real.
712
00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:07,982
Thank you.
What? Cristiano Ronaldo!
713
00:33:08,069 --> 00:33:08,934
Nailed it.
714
00:33:09,905 --> 00:33:11,145
Do you remember
when we went to school
715
00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:12,229
dressed as Charlie's Angels?
716
00:33:12,365 --> 00:33:13,776
Oh, my God, yes.
717
00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:15,532
And Nick's balls fell out
of his booty shorts
718
00:33:15,619 --> 00:33:17,109
when he, like, dropped down
to do the gun pose?
719
00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:20,571
Mm. Do you miss
trick—or—treating?
720
00:33:20,749 --> 00:33:22,911
What, you mean instead of, like,
going to loud parties
721
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,207
pretending to like
the taste of beer
722
00:33:24,294 --> 00:33:25,580
and feeling too
self-conscious to dance?
723
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:27,578
I don't know why
you feel self-conscious.
724
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:28,912
I mean,
725
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:31,669
you are very clearly the coolest
person at our school.
726
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:35,336
I'm pretty sure you're
the only one who feels that way.
727
00:33:36,431 --> 00:33:37,466
But thank you.
728
00:33:39,476 --> 00:33:42,264
(doorbell ringing)
729
00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:44,261
Who's that?
730
00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:46,226
I invited Martin.
731
00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:47,931
Martin Addison?
(groans) Why?
732
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:49,683
Is this a Make—A—Wish situation?
733
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:51,359
(doorbell continues ringing)
734
00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:52,444
No, he's cool.
735
00:33:54,533 --> 00:33:55,648
Hey-
736
00:33:56,826 --> 00:33:58,112
Oh, looking sharp.
737
00:33:58,745 --> 00:33:59,610
What the...
738
00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:01,866
- MARTIN: Guys.
- What are you supposed to be?
739
00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:03,284
Isn't it obvious?
740
00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:06,242
Ah! I'm a Freudian slip.
741
00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:10,629
Abby. Wonder Woman.
742
00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:16,339
NICK: Just pick a song already.
743
00:34:16,930 --> 00:34:18,887
Hey, Nick, uh,
can you not rush me?
744
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:20,297
(laughing)
745
00:34:20,767 --> 00:34:22,303
ABBY: Honestly, I can't
choose. There's so many.
746
00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:23,259
That's like Netflix.
747
00:34:23,353 --> 00:34:25,390
You know, trying to pick
a film on Netflix.
748
00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:28,639
I'm like... (groans)
"Am I in an Apatow mood,
749
00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:31,270
or am I in a Billy Wilder
mood?" You know?
750
00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:33,272
Ooh, play Drake. Yes.
751
00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:36,401
Uh, no. Drake is, like,
super played out at this point.
752
00:34:37,033 --> 00:34:39,149
You can't play out a rap god.
Doesn't happen.
753
00:34:39,244 --> 00:34:40,154
Impossible.
First of all,
754
00:34:40,287 --> 00:34:41,448
he's not a rap god.
755
00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:43,575
And second of all,
I'm looking for some Beyoncé.
756
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,121
Oh.
I just can't find "Lemonade."
757
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:46,994
Hey. Here's an
interesting question.
758
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:47,950
I love Beyoncé.
759
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:49,125
What makes you
guys feel nostalgic?
760
00:34:49,212 --> 00:34:50,077
You do?
761
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:51,536
I mean, I think everybody
kinda likes Beyoncé.
762
00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:54,506
Mine's grape soda makes me
feel very nostalgic.
763
00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:56,630
What are you talking about?
What makes you feel nostalgic?
764
00:34:57,304 --> 00:34:58,339
Hey, Abby.
765
00:34:58,722 --> 00:35:00,508
I bet you're gonna have
the best costume tonight.
766
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,174
Thanks.
Nah, you're welcome.
767
00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:05,433
(Martin mocking)
768
00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:08,303
What the hell, Spier?
769
00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:10,813
Hey, why is Nick
still flirting with Abby?
770
00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:12,016
SIMON: I don't know, Martin.
771
00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:13,604
Maybe you shouldn't
have worn a dress.
772
00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:15,769
You look like a drag queen
773
00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:17,400
rolled around
in magnetic poetry.
774
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,115
(music playing)
775
00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:21,362
Hey, Abby!
776
00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,319
Whenever you need a refill
of your drink,
777
00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:24,986
I'll be
your designated bartender.
778
00:35:25,206 --> 00:35:26,162
So don't worry.
779
00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:28,282
Okay. Hey, Chloe,
come here!
780
00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:29,954
Yo, yo, yo!
781
00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:32,582
Hey. John Lennon?
782
00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:34,162
- Yeah. You got it.
- Nice.
783
00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:36,131
And, um, Nick you're...
784
00:35:37,385 --> 00:35:38,250
You're Nick.
785
00:35:38,386 --> 00:35:40,343
No. No. I'm Ronaldo.
786
00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:42,383
- Oh. My bad.
- Obviously.
787
00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:43,592
Who are you supposed to be?
788
00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:47,142
Oh. Uh... I am post-presidency
Barack Obama.
789
00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:49,519
So I'm just chillin' in
Hawaii, drinking Mai Tais,
790
00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:52,766
writing memoirs and hoping
Trump doesn't destroy my legacy.
791
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:55,142
-(both chuckle)
- That's awesome.
792
00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:57,811
Thanks. Now let's go
to the bar. Come on.
793
00:35:58,031 --> 00:35:59,192
BOTH: Yeah.
794
00:35:59,407 --> 00:36:00,363
Hell yeah.
795
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:03,400
(rapping) ♪ My name is
my sign is ♪
796
00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:04,985
No, Garrett, no.
J' My number is ♪
797
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,575
♪ You need to let it go
need to let it go ♪
798
00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:08,910
♪ Need to let it go ♪
799
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,241
♪ Nah to the ah
to the no, no, no... ♪
800
00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:13,039
♪ Whatchu gonna say? ♪
801
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:14,916
All right, we should
have a little toast.
802
00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:16,963
No, thanks. I'm driving.
And Simon doesn't really drink.
803
00:36:17,050 --> 00:36:18,461
No, I drink.
It's cool. I drink.
804
00:36:18,635 --> 00:36:20,000
- All right, that's my man.
- NICK: Really?
805
00:36:20,095 --> 00:36:22,382
You wouldn't even have a glass
of Manischewitz at Leah's Seder.
806
00:36:22,472 --> 00:36:24,804
No, it's Halloween, man.
It's a special occasion.
807
00:36:25,392 --> 00:36:26,427
True that.
808
00:36:26,685 --> 00:36:28,096
BOTH: Cheers.
809
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:29,885
(gagging)
810
00:36:32,357 --> 00:36:33,563
You okay?
(coughing)
811
00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:35,440
("Never Fall in Love" playing)
812
00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:39,019
You're good at this.
You got this.
813
00:36:42,992 --> 00:36:46,656
Abby is the hottest
Wonder Woman I have ever seen.
814
00:36:46,788 --> 00:36:47,698
SIMON: Yeah.
815
00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:49,663
The shit that I would let her
do to me with that lasso.
816
00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:51,077
Oh, I know, man.
817
00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:53,534
Just, like, tie me up
with that thing.
818
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:55,081
You're not into Abby, are you?
819
00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:56,328
No, no, no.
820
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:58,626
I mean, it's not like I...
She's cute...
821
00:36:58,717 --> 00:36:59,627
Yeah.
...but she's just
822
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:00,840
not really my type.
823
00:37:02,095 --> 00:37:05,213
Not because she's black.
I love black women.
824
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,722
Not like, you know, I have
a thing for black women,
825
00:37:07,809 --> 00:37:09,550
I just love all women.
826
00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:12,010
MARTIN (laughs)
827
00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:13,979
Oh, oh. Oh!
Oh!
828
00:37:14,107 --> 00:37:17,350
Oh, hey.
Hey! Oh, hey.
829
00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:20,435
Hey. Mm.
830
00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:24,572
I'm gonna go ask her out.
What? No.
831
00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:26,616
No? No?
No.
832
00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:28,239
- You can't ask Abby out.
- Why not?
833
00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:33,116
Because. She didn't tell you
about Jonathan?
834
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:34,332
She didn't tell you about that?
No
835
00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:35,375
He's older.
836
00:37:35,712 --> 00:37:37,749
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
In college.
837
00:37:37,881 --> 00:37:39,292
He's really experienced.
838
00:37:42,051 --> 00:37:43,416
You know I've only
had sex once, right?
839
00:37:43,553 --> 00:37:44,418
I know that.
840
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:45,627
You know,
it's like no one tells you
841
00:37:45,722 --> 00:37:46,803
how dark everything is
842
00:37:46,890 --> 00:37:49,427
and how slippery everything
gets, and, you know,
843
00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:50,848
the parts you think
are the right parts
844
00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:52,096
are actually
the wrong parts and...
845
00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:55,558
All right, I'm gonna go eat
my feelings away. (laughs)
846
00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:57,976
Man, I'm sorry...
847
00:37:58,067 --> 00:37:59,432
NICK: No, it's okay.
Don't worry about it.
848
00:38:01,738 --> 00:38:02,819
Whoa, whoa.
849
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:08,825
- BRAM: Hey, Simon!
- Hey.
850
00:38:08,995 --> 00:38:10,235
Hey, you wanna play Beirut?
851
00:38:10,538 --> 00:38:11,573
Yeah. Sure.
852
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,329
We just need two more people.
853
00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:15,748
How about you and me,
and then, um...
854
00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:17,659
Let me pour. I insist.
855
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:18,952
Abby and Martin?
856
00:38:19,756 --> 00:38:20,917
- BRAM: Okay, cool.
- SIMON: Hey, Martin.
857
00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:21,997
- MARTIN: Yeah.
- SIMON: Abby.
858
00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:23,460
Let's play Beirut.
859
00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:25,133
No, I don't...
Yeah. Let's do it.
860
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,761
Come on, let's go.
It'll be fun. It'll be fun.
861
00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:29,800
Good old competition.
(chuckles)
862
00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:31,756
Ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.
863
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,634
Beirut. Right?
864
00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:35,639
- Yes!
- (sighs)
865
00:38:35,855 --> 00:38:37,516
Okay. Have you ever played
Beirut before?
866
00:38:37,941 --> 00:38:39,102
Uh, totally. Yeah.
867
00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:42,810
Great. All right, so,
two reracks, no blowing
868
00:38:42,904 --> 00:38:43,985
and two balls
in the cup means
869
00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:45,187
that you have
to take three, okay?
870
00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:46,358
Okay. Cool.
871
00:38:46,908 --> 00:38:48,774
I thought we were talking
about a different game.
872
00:38:48,868 --> 00:38:50,233
We'll just explain
as we go. Okay?
873
00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:51,318
- Yeah.
- Okay. Got it.
874
00:38:51,412 --> 00:38:52,322
SIMON: Ready?
875
00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:53,824
Maybe you should
take these...
876
00:38:53,957 --> 00:38:54,867
Oh.
877
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:56,615
You'll see better.
878
00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:58,082
Right?
Good idea. Yeah.
879
00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:00,744
-All you.
-Raindrop!
880
00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:02,671
MARTIN: Here we go, all right.
You got this one.
881
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:04,206
Oh, is that...
This is mine to drink?
882
00:39:06,678 --> 00:39:07,668
God.
883
00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:09,837
Oh!
884
00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:12,589
All right.
885
00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:14,266
ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug!
886
00:39:15,478 --> 00:39:16,388
(imitates explosion)
887
00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:18,057
Do we need a handshake?
Is that...
888
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:19,349
You get one of these in
889
00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:20,768
and we can totally
have a handshake.
890
00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:22,812
Fly it away. Fly it away.
891
00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:25,940
Chug, chug, chug.
892
00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:27,528
- MARTIN: Sweet!
- All right.
893
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:28,647
(belches)
894
00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:31,407
♪ As long as you love me ♪
895
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:34,828
♪ We could be starving
we could be homeless ♪
896
00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:36,029
♪ We could be loved ♪
897
00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:38,240
♪ As long as you love me ♪
898
00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:40,496
(all cheering)
899
00:39:43,172 --> 00:39:45,539
♪ Why can't I get
just one screw ♪
900
00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:48,042
♪ Baby, I know what to do ♪
901
00:39:48,136 --> 00:39:50,924
But something won't let me
make love to you ♪
902
00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:55,300
♪ Day after day I
903
00:39:55,643 --> 00:40:00,183
♪ I get angry and I will say ♪
904
00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:08,862
Hey, Bram. It's me, Jacques.
905
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:11,277
("Monster Mash" playing)
906
00:40:11,492 --> 00:40:13,529
Hey, Bram. I'm Jacques.
907
00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:20,203
Hey, Barack. It's me, Jacques.
908
00:40:21,878 --> 00:40:23,744
(sighs) Why did I pick Jacques?
909
00:40:25,256 --> 00:40:26,371
BOY: Yeah, no problem.
910
00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:27,588
(girls laughing)
911
00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:42,638
Oh.
912
00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:45,599
I'm sorry, I thought
this was the bathroom.
913
00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:48,769
Sorry.
914
00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:57,699
- I'm starting to get so tired!
- I am so tired.
915
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:04,034
Hey, Martin, not now, man.
All right? I've had a big night.
916
00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:07,162
Oh!
917
00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:09,835
Really? Really?
918
00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:12,967
(groans) I'm sorry.
919
00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:14,636
Come on!
(Martin coughing)
920
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:19,132
- LEAH: What are you doing?
- I don't know.
921
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:21,385
(Leah sighs)
922
00:41:22,188 --> 00:41:23,678
♪ Wiilkommen ♪
923
00:41:23,856 --> 00:41:26,348
Are you serious?
♪ Bienvenue ♪
924
00:41:26,776 --> 00:41:29,859
.1' Welcome... .1'
Whoa. Careful.
925
00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:32,111
(laughs) Okay, come on.
We gotta get you home.
926
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,405
Look, we're so close!
927
00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:38,451
Oh, my God!
928
00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:39,403
Wait, what?
929
00:41:39,664 --> 00:41:40,995
Dude, my parents are still up.
930
00:41:41,124 --> 00:41:42,239
Oh, God.
931
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:43,289
Oh...
Okay, you know what...
932
00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:44,286
Come on.
933
00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:46,830
I need you to think of
something really sad...
934
00:41:46,921 --> 00:41:47,786
Uh-huh.
935
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,712
Like, the documentary
about how all the whales
936
00:41:49,799 --> 00:41:50,755
hate living at SeaWorld.
937
00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:51,873
Too sad!
938
00:41:51,968 --> 00:41:53,129
God. Okay, then just,
you know what,
939
00:41:53,219 --> 00:41:54,209
don't say anything at all...
940
00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:56,632
And we'll ditch the barf shirt
till tomorrow.
941
00:41:56,723 --> 00:41:57,588
SIMON: Okay.
942
00:41:58,975 --> 00:41:59,965
- LEAH: Si?
- SIMON: Yeah.
943
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:01,933
LEAH:
Just as little as possible,
944
00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:03,101
say as little as possible.
945
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:07,146
(door creaks)
946
00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:13,478
EMILY: So how does that work?
947
00:42:13,573 --> 00:42:15,359
I know, I remember
when I went to...
948
00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:16,773
Hey, guys!
949
00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:19,325
Hey!
Hey!
950
00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:20,865
Come talk to us.
Hey!
951
00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:22,871
How was the party?
It was really fun.
952
00:42:22,999 --> 00:42:23,909
Was it?
Yeah.
953
00:42:24,333 --> 00:42:25,323
Aces.
954
00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:28,751
BOTH: Huh. (chuckling)
955
00:42:30,131 --> 00:42:32,463
Uh, well. Thanks for
letting me stay over.
956
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,040
- JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- EMILY: Yeah.
957
00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:36,043
You've been
staying over 10 years.
958
00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:37,718
You don't have to thank us.
959
00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:39,796
Oh. Yeah, thanks.
960
00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:41,844
(whispers) Stop. Shh!
961
00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:47,387
John Lennon was wearing
a woman's sweater.
962
00:42:47,482 --> 00:42:48,938
Mm.
And he's drunk.
963
00:42:49,317 --> 00:42:50,899
Definitely.
So how do we feel about that?
964
00:42:50,985 --> 00:42:52,726
Well, he didn't drive drunk,
965
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,276
and he's home
before curfew, so...
966
00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:57,105
Good. That's what I thought
we thought.
967
00:42:57,283 --> 00:42:58,694
Yeah, that's what
we think, right?
968
00:42:58,785 --> 00:43:00,025
Yeah. We're good parents.
969
00:43:00,119 --> 00:43:01,154
Yeah, we're good parents.
Right?
970
00:43:02,455 --> 00:43:04,321
(slow music playing)
971
00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:07,495
The room stopped spinning.
972
00:43:18,971 --> 00:43:20,052
Do you ever feel weird?
973
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:24,178
Weird?
Yeah.
974
00:43:27,730 --> 00:43:29,767
Sometimes I feel like
I'm always on the outside.
975
00:43:33,778 --> 00:43:34,859
What do you mean?
976
00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:37,146
Like tonight, you know...
977
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:39,822
I was at that party,
and it was fun, but...
978
00:43:40,535 --> 00:43:42,321
it kinda felt like I was
979
00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:44,239
watching it
from across the room.
980
00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:48,623
I don't know,
there's this invisible line
981
00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:50,746
that I have to cross to really
be a part of everything
982
00:43:50,837 --> 00:43:52,419
and I just,
I can't ever cross it.
983
00:43:55,174 --> 00:43:56,710
I feel that way
sometimes, too.
984
00:43:57,343 --> 00:43:58,925
(laughs)
Not tonight you didn't.
985
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:00,676
Yeah, I was trying something.
986
00:44:02,265 --> 00:44:04,006
Yeah, sometimes I think
it'd be so much easier
987
00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:06,592
to be one of these people who
can just take a few shots
988
00:44:06,686 --> 00:44:08,393
and then hook up
with whoever's closest.
989
00:44:10,356 --> 00:44:12,063
Yeah, I guess
I'm just unlucky.
990
00:44:12,233 --> 00:44:13,189
Unlucky?
991
00:44:14,735 --> 00:44:15,691
Why?
992
00:44:17,196 --> 00:44:19,187
Because I'm not
a casual person.
993
00:44:20,783 --> 00:44:22,774
What kind of person are you?
994
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:27,370
(Sighs)
995
00:44:27,957 --> 00:44:31,166
I think I'm the kind of person
who is destined to care so much
996
00:44:31,252 --> 00:44:32,993
about one person,
it nearly kills me.
997
00:44:38,342 --> 00:44:39,377
Me too.
998
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,387
It's getting late.
999
00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:05,275
Si?
1000
00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:07,285
Yeah?
1001
00:45:07,496 --> 00:45:08,486
Good night.
1002
00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:11,281
Good night.
1003
00:45:33,314 --> 00:45:34,304
SIMON: Dear Blue,
1004
00:45:35,107 --> 00:45:36,973
so one of my friends
likes the other,
1005
00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:40,526
and he has no idea.
I guess we all have secrets.
1006
00:45:41,030 --> 00:45:44,068
Anyway, I've been thinking about
why I haven't come out yet.
1007
00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:46,824
Maybe it's because
it doesn't seem fair
1008
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:48,572
that only gay people
have to come out.
1009
00:45:48,788 --> 00:45:50,074
Why is straight the default?
1010
00:45:51,207 --> 00:45:52,538
I have something
I need to tell you.
1011
00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:55,079
Mom, there's something
I have to tell you.
1012
00:45:55,336 --> 00:45:56,246
Can we talk?
1013
00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:57,414
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
1014
00:45:57,630 --> 00:46:00,088
I'm straight.
1015
00:46:00,216 --> 00:46:01,798
I'm sorry, Mom, it's true.
1016
00:46:02,343 --> 00:46:03,208
I like girls.
1017
00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:04,376
(coughing)
1018
00:46:05,888 --> 00:46:06,753
I like men.
1019
00:46:06,889 --> 00:46:08,095
You get that
from your daddy's side.
1020
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:10,678
I'm in love with Nick.
1021
00:46:12,979 --> 00:46:14,595
I feel like I've been raising
a stranger.
1022
00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:16,095
Yes, absolutely, you have.
1023
00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:17,642
I'm heterosexual.
1024
00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:20,855
Oh, God. Help me, Jesus. Please.
1025
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,694
SIMON: Or maybe it's because
I can't be sure
1026
00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:24,399
this whole "being gay” thing
is forever.
1027
00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:26,064
Or maybe it's that there's
not that much
1028
00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:28,324
of high school left and part
of me wants to hold on to
1029
00:46:28,411 --> 00:46:30,743
who I've always been
just a little longer.
1030
00:46:31,372 --> 00:46:33,204
And then, when I go to college
in Los Angeles,
1031
00:46:33,499 --> 00:46:35,206
I'll be gay and proud,
I promise.
1032
00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:36,870
("I wanna dance with somebody"
playing)
1033
00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:30,295
Yeah, maybe not that gay.
1034
00:47:30,514 --> 00:47:31,754
SIMON: I'm not sure
who I'm promising.
1035
00:47:32,308 --> 00:47:33,639
I'll keep ruminating.
1036
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:35,053
Love, Jacques.
1037
00:47:43,652 --> 00:47:44,938
Shit!
1038
00:47:49,742 --> 00:47:51,449
TAYLOR: So, yeah,
after swimming with dolphins,
1039
00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:53,401
we fly to Saint Martin
for New Year's.
1040
00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:55,946
Anybody else,
Christmas in the Caribbean?
1041
00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:57,701
Staying here.
1042
00:47:57,792 --> 00:47:59,658
We have a classic
Spier tradition
1043
00:47:59,794 --> 00:48:01,535
of French toast
on Christmas Eve.
1044
00:48:01,796 --> 00:48:03,537
I'm going to an unheated
vacation house
1045
00:48:03,631 --> 00:48:04,541
in the middle of nowhere.
1046
00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:06,664
As is our bleak
family tradition.
1047
00:48:07,301 --> 00:48:09,838
(winces) Ow! Ow!
1048
00:48:11,013 --> 00:48:12,720
Oh, man. Oh.
You okay?
1049
00:48:12,848 --> 00:48:14,384
Oh, yeah, that's a paper out.
1050
00:48:15,142 --> 00:48:16,257
Overdramatic.
1051
00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:20,137
Um, Simon, do you know
where the bandages are?
1052
00:48:20,606 --> 00:48:22,847
Yeah. They're just
in the supply closet.
1053
00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:24,682
Okay, do you mind showing me?
1054
00:48:27,613 --> 00:48:28,603
Be right back.
1055
00:48:29,865 --> 00:48:31,196
He's like a nurse, this man.
1056
00:48:33,035 --> 00:48:34,696
Okay, I don't actually have
a paper cut.
1057
00:48:34,787 --> 00:48:36,653
I know that, Martin.
You're a very bad actor.
1058
00:48:36,789 --> 00:48:38,575
What, you think this is funny?
1059
00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,492
Simon, look,
I don't wanna have to
1060
00:48:42,586 --> 00:48:44,372
leak your emails, all right?
But I will.
1061
00:48:44,588 --> 00:48:47,296
Look, you cannot
bring Blue into this, okay?
1062
00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:48,669
If he found out
that my emails got leaked,
1063
00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:50,215
he'd get totally freaked,
all right?
1064
00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:51,300
He'd never talk to me again.
1065
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:52,919
Yeah, probably not, you know?
1066
00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:54,838
The Internet's a freaky place
to meet people.
1067
00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:56,464
Yo.
Hey!
1068
00:48:56,559 --> 00:48:57,424
Hey!
1069
00:48:57,518 --> 00:48:58,974
Fun movie! Freak.
Freaky Friday.
1070
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,052
That's a fun movie!
Freaky, freak, freaky.
1071
00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:03,388
Yeah, freaky-deaky Dutch!
♪ She 's a super freak ♪
1072
00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:04,813
- BOTH: ♪ Super freak ♪
- You guys are weird.
1073
00:49:05,401 --> 00:49:07,733
I need a Band-Aid.
Those programs are a bitch.
1074
00:49:10,156 --> 00:49:12,523
Erm, yo. Martin was having
trouble running his lines
1075
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:16,325
and we were thinking we could go
to Waffle House and go over 'em.
1076
00:49:17,538 --> 00:49:18,494
- Really?
- Yeah.
1077
00:49:18,581 --> 00:49:19,446
That would be great.
1078
00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:21,159
I'm insky.
1079
00:49:23,377 --> 00:49:25,618
Good work, Spier.
Go to hell, Martin.
1080
00:49:30,926 --> 00:49:31,791
(cell phone chimes)
1081
00:49:35,097 --> 00:49:36,963
BLUE: Jacques,
if I were a betting man,
1082
00:49:37,224 --> 00:49:39,340
I'd say you were drunk emailing
me during that last letter.
1083
00:49:39,768 --> 00:49:41,429
Don't worry. I liked it.
1084
00:49:41,770 --> 00:49:43,681
As for coming out,
I know what you mean
1085
00:49:43,772 --> 00:49:44,978
about wanting to wait
till college.
1086
00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:46,689
But our emails
have inspired me.
1087
00:49:47,401 --> 00:49:49,768
I 'm going to tell my family.
So thanks, Jacques.
1088
00:49:50,362 --> 00:49:52,103
Love, Blue.
1089
00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:06,708
(indistinct chatter)
1090
00:50:06,962 --> 00:50:07,827
Yeah.
1091
00:50:10,382 --> 00:50:11,247
MARTIN: Hey!
1092
00:50:11,717 --> 00:50:14,004
Madame.
ABBY: Oh.
1093
00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:17,671
(chuckles) Simon...
1094
00:50:18,766 --> 00:50:20,507
How the thespians
rehearse, right?
1095
00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:21,511
LYLE: Hey, guys.
1096
00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:23,267
What can I get you?
1097
00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:26,104
Lyle! You guys know Lyle?
We have Latin together.
1098
00:50:26,232 --> 00:50:27,518
ABBY: I don't think so.
1099
00:50:27,942 --> 00:50:29,023
Hi. How's it going?
1100
00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:31,726
Actually, we had Bio together
last year?
1101
00:50:31,904 --> 00:50:33,144
- SIMON: Oh, really?
- It's Simon, right?
1102
00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:36,193
Yeah. Yeah, sorry,
I don't, um...
1103
00:50:36,325 --> 00:50:38,316
It's okay.
It was like a big class,
1104
00:50:38,452 --> 00:50:39,783
and I have a good
memory for faces.
1105
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:42,491
What can I get you guys?
1106
00:50:42,581 --> 00:50:44,538
MARTIN: Well, we plan
on being here for a while.
1107
00:50:44,833 --> 00:50:47,450
So, we're gonna start off small
and go larger.
1108
00:50:48,128 --> 00:50:51,291
Probably get some bacon first,
some sausage. I'd say...
1109
00:50:52,258 --> 00:50:54,966
ABBY: "You're right. I'm much
too strange and extraordinary.
1110
00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:57,753
Much! And much too distracting!"
1111
00:50:58,222 --> 00:50:59,178
Wow.
1112
00:51:00,099 --> 00:51:01,715
And you never did any acting
at your old school?
1113
00:51:02,726 --> 00:51:04,888
No. Can we get back to...
1114
00:51:04,979 --> 00:51:06,561
And yet,
you're from D.C., right?
1115
00:51:06,647 --> 00:51:08,012
Yeah. Can you give me
my next cue, though?
1116
00:51:08,107 --> 00:51:09,768
MARTIN: So why
did you move here?
1117
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:12,141
Because my parents got divorced
1118
00:51:12,278 --> 00:51:14,019
and my aunt found us
an apartment in her building.
1119
00:51:14,321 --> 00:51:16,653
- Why'd they get divorced?
- Why does it matter, Martin?
1120
00:51:16,782 --> 00:51:18,022
Are you writing
a book about girls
1121
00:51:18,117 --> 00:51:19,528
from a broken home in D.C.?
1122
00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:21,779
So?
1123
00:51:23,205 --> 00:51:25,116
I thought that my dad
1124
00:51:25,249 --> 00:51:27,832
was the greatest
person on the planet.
1125
00:51:29,545 --> 00:51:33,334
But it turns out that he's
just a sad, tired loser
1126
00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:35,874
who hates his job,
drinks way too much beer,
1127
00:51:36,135 --> 00:51:37,296
and cheats on his wife.
1128
00:51:37,803 --> 00:51:40,215
To make up for all the stuff
that I just mentioned, so...
1129
00:51:40,431 --> 00:51:41,762
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
1130
00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:43,381
Yeah.
1131
00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:45,425
You deserve the father
that you thought you had.
1132
00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:49,683
You know what, Abby?
1133
00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:53,311
You deserve
a goddamn superhero.
1134
00:51:54,194 --> 00:51:56,356
Okay, thank you.
Let's get back to the...
1135
00:51:56,572 --> 00:51:57,437
Say it.
1136
00:51:59,158 --> 00:52:00,023
What?
1137
00:52:00,826 --> 00:52:02,032
I wanna hear you say,
1138
00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:06,120
"|, Abby Susso,
am an incredible young woman
1139
00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:09,574
and deserve
a goddamn superhero."
1140
00:52:09,877 --> 00:52:12,369
I'm not gonna say that, Martin.
(laughing)
1141
00:52:12,671 --> 00:52:14,082
Okay. Well, um...
1142
00:52:14,965 --> 00:52:16,455
I won't stop until you say it.
1143
00:52:17,384 --> 00:52:18,249
ABBY: Okay.
1144
00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:21,086
What are you...
Excuse me.
1145
00:52:21,347 --> 00:52:22,929
-Waffle House patrons!
-ABBY: Martin. Martin, stop.
1146
00:52:23,015 --> 00:52:24,597
- Pardon the interruption.
- BOTH: Martin.
1147
00:52:24,725 --> 00:52:27,057
I would just like to say
that Abby Susso here
1148
00:52:27,227 --> 00:52:28,433
is an incredible young woman.
1149
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:29,636
Martin, please.
1150
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:31,812
And deserves
a goddamn superhero.
1151
00:52:31,940 --> 00:52:34,147
- Okay, okay...
- That's right. Abby Susso!
1152
00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:35,566
Abby Susso
I'm Abby Susso!
1153
00:52:35,736 --> 00:52:37,477
is an incredible young woman!
ABBY: I'm Abby Susso!
1154
00:52:37,738 --> 00:52:40,070
Incredible young woman,
and deserves...
1155
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:41,947
A goddamn superhero.
A goddamn superhero.
1156
00:52:42,159 --> 00:52:43,900
A goddamn superhero!
A goddamn superhero!
1157
00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:45,617
A goddamn superhero!
1158
00:52:52,294 --> 00:52:53,159
Yeah.
1159
00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:55,169
All right.
(claps)
1160
00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:57,663
Breakthrough. Yeah.
1161
00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:01,084
Okay, you can all go back
to your meals. Thank you.
1162
00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:02,668
Please sit down. Please.
1163
00:53:04,056 --> 00:53:06,013
(Martin clears throat)
(Abby sighs)
1164
00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:07,218
Well...
1165
00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:10,597
Well, let's get back to...
1166
00:53:11,313 --> 00:53:13,270
my entrance into your song.
I'm gonna take five.
1167
00:53:13,357 --> 00:53:14,222
(Abby laughs)
1168
00:53:14,316 --> 00:53:16,227
MARTIN: "Ah, the Kit Kat Klub
proudly presents...
1169
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,270
I'll be right back.
1170
00:53:17,361 --> 00:53:19,193
...a beautiful woman
coming straight from England."
1171
00:53:19,321 --> 00:53:21,904
Sally Bowles, everybody."
(laughs)
1172
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:33,199
Hey-
1173
00:53:34,962 --> 00:53:38,000
Were you in Bio when they did
that identifying leaves test?
1174
00:53:38,298 --> 00:53:40,665
Yes. And Joel Winslow
ate that poison ivy.
1175
00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:42,541
Because Doug Fogerty told him
it was pot.
1176
00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,176
Right. (laughs)
SIMON: Poor Joel.
1177
00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,671
I think he just wants
to be liked 'cause...
1178
00:53:47,683 --> 00:53:50,471
you ever notice that he has
extra pens in his backpack?
1179
00:53:50,561 --> 00:53:53,428
Like, you know,
he's just waiting for the day
1180
00:53:53,522 --> 00:53:55,388
that someone comes up
to ask him for a pen?
1181
00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:59,149
And then he can be that guy
to give 'em a pen.
1182
00:54:00,487 --> 00:54:01,898
You see everything,
don't you, Simon?
1183
00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:03,362
I don't know.
1184
00:54:04,450 --> 00:54:06,066
But Simon means
"the one who hears"
1185
00:54:06,201 --> 00:54:08,283
and Spier means
"the one who sees"
1186
00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:10,577
so you put that all together
1187
00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:13,406
and pretty sure that means
I was just destined
1188
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:14,748
to be up
in everybody's business.
1189
00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:19,041
I've gotta get back inside
1190
00:54:19,173 --> 00:54:20,459
and scrub down
some waffle irons.
1191
00:54:21,091 --> 00:54:22,957
Duty calls.
Indeed.
1192
00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:25,209
I'll see you in there.
1193
00:54:25,637 --> 00:54:26,843
Yeah, I'll see ya.
1194
00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:34,802
(cell phone chimes)
1195
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:43,645
Hi.
1196
00:54:44,740 --> 00:54:47,323
BLUE: So my dad's flying in
tonight for Hanukkah.
1197
00:54:47,659 --> 00:54:48,615
If you are thinking,
1198
00:54:48,702 --> 00:54:50,113
"But Hanukkah isn't
for another month!"
1199
00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:51,660
Well, you are correct.
1200
00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:54,113
Welcome to navigating
divorced parents.
1201
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:56,411
Take holidays
where you can get them.
1202
00:54:56,668 --> 00:54:59,410
And my dad's staying at the
same crappy motel as always.
1203
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:01,371
We'll do all our
horribly awkward traditions.
1204
00:55:02,758 --> 00:55:05,170
We'll light the menorah
and I'll silently pray
1205
00:55:05,260 --> 00:55:06,842
that the sprinklers
don't go off.
1206
00:55:07,221 --> 00:55:08,632
That's happened twice before.
1207
00:55:10,474 --> 00:55:12,681
Would you believe I'm
considering doubling down
1208
00:55:12,851 --> 00:55:14,012
and turning
this whole awkward mess
1209
00:55:14,102 --> 00:55:15,718
into a coming out thing?
1210
00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:18,016
Do you think I'm crazy?
1211
00:55:19,024 --> 00:55:20,640
SIMON: No, Blue,
I don't think you're crazy.
1212
00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:23,025
I think you're crazy brave.
1213
00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:40,167
ABBY: Honestly, Martin used to
annoy the crap out of me.
1214
00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:42,336
But he's actually kind of
a cool person.
1215
00:55:44,842 --> 00:55:46,549
I've been meaning to ask you
about your parents.
1216
00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:48,630
I just didn't wanna say anything
1217
00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:49,926
when we were actually
in the restaurant.
1218
00:55:50,055 --> 00:55:51,841
I wasn't sure if you
wanted to talk about it.
1219
00:55:52,307 --> 00:55:54,389
Yeah. No, I don't mention it
a lot
1220
00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:57,097
because it kind of messes
with my image.
1221
00:55:58,105 --> 00:55:59,266
What kind of image?
1222
00:56:01,108 --> 00:56:05,318
The girl who is excited to start
a new school senior year.
1223
00:56:06,029 --> 00:56:09,613
Girl whose life didn't
just end, like, three months ago,
1224
00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:11,941
who's angry and sad
all the time.
1225
00:56:14,705 --> 00:56:16,036
Girl who still believes in love.
1226
00:56:17,165 --> 00:56:19,873
Come on.
You still believe in love.
1227
00:56:21,044 --> 00:56:21,909
Maybe.
1228
00:56:22,671 --> 00:56:23,877
Have you ever been in love?
1229
00:56:27,593 --> 00:56:28,708
I think so.
1230
00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:44,432
Abby.
1231
00:56:45,694 --> 00:56:46,559
Yeah?
1232
00:56:50,073 --> 00:56:50,938
I'm gay.
1233
00:56:52,910 --> 00:56:53,775
Oh.
1234
00:56:56,788 --> 00:56:58,074
You can't tell anyone though.
1235
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,368
Nobody really knows,
1236
00:57:00,542 --> 00:57:02,328
and I don't really want people
to find out.
1237
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:03,830
I won't. I promise.
1238
00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:05,119
Okay-
1239
00:57:10,302 --> 00:57:11,417
You surprised?
1240
00:57:12,804 --> 00:57:13,885
No.
1241
00:57:15,223 --> 00:57:16,884
So you knew?
No.
1242
00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:19,599
But you're not surprised?
1243
00:57:20,896 --> 00:57:22,136
Do you want me
to be surprised?
1244
00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:24,847
I don't know.
1245
00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:27,141
Okay-
1246
00:57:28,028 --> 00:57:29,189
Well, I love you.
1247
00:57:30,572 --> 00:57:31,437
So...
1248
00:57:40,707 --> 00:57:41,697
Love you, too.
1249
00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:49,497
(sighs in relief)
1250
00:57:49,925 --> 00:57:52,041
(turn signal beeping)
1251
00:57:52,177 --> 00:57:53,417
There's no one behind us.
1252
00:57:53,512 --> 00:57:54,593
You don't have to put
your blinker on.
1253
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:55,636
Okay, just being safe.
Yeah.
1254
00:58:10,195 --> 00:58:13,028
SIMON: Dear Blue, I hope
it goes okay with your dad.
1255
00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:15,774
Whatever happens,
you inspired me.
1256
00:58:16,243 --> 00:58:18,029
I came out
to my friend tonight.
1257
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:19,906
And I never would have
done that without you.
1258
00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:22,029
Maybe we should ride
this bravery train
1259
00:58:22,165 --> 00:58:23,530
and reveal our identities.
1260
00:58:24,167 --> 00:58:26,534
I'm dying to know who you are.
Love, Jacques.
1261
00:58:33,135 --> 00:58:34,216
(cell phone vibrating)
1262
00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:39,388
BLUE: I told my dad.
1263
00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:43,843
It was insanely awkward.
But also, kind of fine.
1264
00:58:44,980 --> 00:58:46,516
And you got it backwards.
1265
00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:48,689
It's you who inspires me.
1266
00:58:50,736 --> 00:58:51,942
But I'm sorry,
1267
00:58:52,738 --> 00:58:55,070
I'm just not ready for us to
know each other's identities.
1268
00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:56,446
Love, Blue.
1269
00:58:58,910 --> 00:59:00,992
(hums the Jaws theme)
1270
00:59:01,079 --> 00:59:03,662
Hey! What are you doing?
(growls) I'm a fry shark!
1271
00:59:03,749 --> 00:59:05,660
Yeah!
(laughs)
1272
00:59:07,461 --> 00:59:09,418
- MARTIN: That is good.
- ABBY: You're a good fry shark.
1273
00:59:09,504 --> 00:59:10,960
- MARTIN: Thank you, thank you.
- ABBY: I like that.
1274
00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:12,254
I didn't even know
you were coming near.
1275
00:59:12,382 --> 00:59:14,089
- MARTIN: You know what day it is?
- ABBY: What day is it?
1276
00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:15,082
MARTIN: Must be Friday!
1277
00:59:15,177 --> 00:59:16,042
BOTH: Oh!
1278
00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:17,709
I guess I'm being loved,
right? Right?
1279
00:59:17,888 --> 00:59:19,344
Yeah.
Excuse me.
1280
00:59:19,556 --> 00:59:21,297
Hey, what do you get
when you get black and Jewish?
1281
00:59:21,475 --> 00:59:22,806
-What?
-Bluish.
1282
00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:24,136
ABBY (laughs): That's mean.
Simon?
1283
00:59:25,145 --> 00:59:27,637
Since when does Abby find
Martin so goddamn funny?
1284
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:29,305
Yeah, it's crazy.
1285
00:59:29,775 --> 00:59:31,231
NICK: You know,
this is stupid.
1286
00:59:31,443 --> 00:59:32,854
I'm just gonna tell her
that I like her.
1287
00:59:32,944 --> 00:59:33,900
And I've been thinking
1288
00:59:34,029 --> 00:59:35,144
the whole sexual
experience thing,
1289
00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:36,399
it's not that big of a deal.
1290
00:59:36,490 --> 00:59:37,730
And, actually,
I've been practicing, right?
1291
00:59:37,824 --> 00:59:39,155
I got this thing online.
It's really cool.
1292
00:59:39,284 --> 00:59:41,070
It's called a pocket puss...
Abby likes Martin.
1293
00:59:42,204 --> 00:59:43,319
She told me herself.
1294
00:59:43,455 --> 00:59:45,822
(scoffs) But he's Martin.
I know.
1295
00:59:47,209 --> 00:59:49,041
NICK: Look, I don't care.
I'm gonna try.
1296
00:59:49,169 --> 00:59:51,160
Hey, wait, wait.
What about Leah?
1297
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:53,124
What about Leah?
1298
00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:54,747
SIMON: Dude.
1299
00:59:57,052 --> 00:59:58,042
Leah's in love with you.
1300
00:59:58,345 --> 00:59:59,255
No, she's not.
1301
00:59:59,596 --> 01:00:00,631
Are you kidding me?
1302
01:00:00,722 --> 01:00:02,178
I mean, come on.
The way she looks at you
1303
01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:04,927
and how she's been all jealous
ever since Abby's been around?
1304
01:00:05,018 --> 01:00:07,555
And she blushes every time
you come into the room.
1305
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:10,683
Look, you and Abby...
1306
01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:12,810
it's never gonna happen.
1307
01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:14,858
But you and Leah...
1308
01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:17,231
I mean, you could be
incredible together.
1309
01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:29,410
-LEAH: Hey.
-What's up?
1310
01:00:31,545 --> 01:00:33,035
So I have something
to tell you.
1311
01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:37,423
Nick just asked me to get dinner
before the homecoming game.
1312
01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:40,042
Okay-
1313
01:00:40,804 --> 01:00:43,011
No, like, Si, he was like...
1314
01:00:43,306 --> 01:00:45,764
He came up to me and he's like,
"Do you wanna go get dinner?"
1315
01:00:45,976 --> 01:00:46,932
All right, and I was like,
1316
01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,508
"Sure, are Abby and Simon in?"
And he was like
1317
01:00:48,937 --> 01:00:51,770
"I was thinking it could just be
the two of us. Like, a date."
1318
01:00:53,150 --> 01:00:54,015
That's amazing.
1319
01:00:55,443 --> 01:00:56,308
It is?
1320
01:00:57,946 --> 01:00:58,811
Yeah.
1321
01:00:59,865 --> 01:01:00,946
Leah, come on.
1322
01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:05,283
I know you're into him.
1323
01:01:05,579 --> 01:01:06,444
(scoffs)
What?
1324
01:01:06,997 --> 01:01:08,908
All that stuff that
you were talking about
1325
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,246
the night after
Bram's party, about,
1326
01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:12,662
you know,
being so into one person
1327
01:01:12,752 --> 01:01:13,913
that it almost kills you.
1328
01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:16,870
You were talking about Nick.
1329
01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:20,374
Uh...
1330
01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:23,255
So you think
I should go out with him?
1331
01:01:24,264 --> 01:01:25,925
Yes. Yes.
1332
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:29,050
Okay-
1333
01:01:30,562 --> 01:01:31,518
-SIMON: Yeah?
-LEAH: Yeah!
1334
01:01:31,605 --> 01:01:33,266
SIMON: I promise you,
you're not gonna regret it.
1335
01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:34,391
It's gonna be great!
1336
01:01:35,108 --> 01:01:36,519
(all cheering)
1337
01:01:37,277 --> 01:01:40,736
Let's pull out
your claws, Grizzlies!
1338
01:01:41,239 --> 01:01:44,448
Oh!
(laughs)
1339
01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:52,282
Simon, that Almont QB
is insanely hot.
1340
01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:54,791
We can talk about stuff
like this now, you know.
1341
01:01:54,878 --> 01:01:56,289
Yeah, I still don't know
1342
01:01:56,379 --> 01:01:57,744
if I really quite
figured out how.
1343
01:01:59,633 --> 01:02:01,795
Seriously?
Yeah.
1344
01:02:01,968 --> 01:02:04,881
We gotta practice.
All right. Simon.
1345
01:02:05,055 --> 01:02:06,170
Yeah?
Do you think
1346
01:02:06,264 --> 01:02:11,009
that quarterback is lookin'
fine in those hot pants?
1347
01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:13,643
He's lookin' pretty fine.
1348
01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:18,106
No. No. No.
1349
01:02:18,652 --> 01:02:21,940
Fine! Good.
Put your body into it.
1350
01:02:22,530 --> 01:02:23,895
Fine! (grunts)
1351
01:02:24,157 --> 01:02:25,272
That was really good.
1352
01:02:25,367 --> 01:02:26,482
That was so good.
Thanks.
1353
01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:28,659
Hey, check it out.
It's the Waffle House guy.
1354
01:02:30,538 --> 01:02:31,619
SIMON: Oh, yeah.
1355
01:02:32,624 --> 01:02:33,659
Whoa.
1356
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:37,288
Lyle?
I don't know. Could be.
1357
01:02:37,379 --> 01:02:39,086
I don't know.
Do you think he's...
1358
01:02:39,172 --> 01:02:40,253
I don't know.
1359
01:02:41,383 --> 01:02:42,544
Okay, well,
you should talk to him.
1360
01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:45,171
I'm gonna go get a coffee.
Look, you are fine!
1361
01:02:45,428 --> 01:02:46,589
(mouthing) You got this.
1362
01:02:47,472 --> 01:02:48,337
Hi.
1363
01:02:50,058 --> 01:02:52,595
Hey. If it isn't
my favorite waiter.
1364
01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:55,640
Ah, there he is.
The guy who sees everything.
1365
01:02:55,981 --> 01:02:56,937
Yeah.
(chuckles)
1366
01:02:57,482 --> 01:02:59,223
Hey, I wouldn't have taken you
for a homecoming guy.
1367
01:02:59,359 --> 01:03:00,690
Oh, just here for the coffee.
1368
01:03:00,986 --> 01:03:03,148
Of course. Yeah, it's all
about the cappuccinos
1369
01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:04,728
and camaraderie for this guy.
1370
01:03:06,157 --> 01:03:07,989
(clears throat)
(laughs)
1371
01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:11,910
I'm glad you're here.
1372
01:03:13,081 --> 01:03:13,946
You are?
1373
01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:15,781
Yeah.
1374
01:03:16,668 --> 01:03:18,284
'Cause I wanted to
ask you something.
1375
01:03:20,171 --> 01:03:21,332
I was gonna ask you
the other day
1376
01:03:21,423 --> 01:03:23,755
and then I was, like,
too chickenshit.
1377
01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:27,171
What's Abby's deal?
1378
01:03:29,556 --> 01:03:30,967
I know you and her
hang out a lot.
1379
01:03:31,057 --> 01:03:32,843
Are the two of you
like a thing, or...
1380
01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:34,724
No.
1381
01:03:35,395 --> 01:03:37,261
No, uh, we're just friends.
1382
01:03:37,689 --> 01:03:39,145
I could never be just friends
with someone that hot.
1383
01:03:39,232 --> 01:03:41,348
Yeah!
Every day is a struggle.
1384
01:03:43,361 --> 01:03:45,773
(sighs) I gotta go. I'll see ya.
1385
01:03:49,784 --> 01:03:51,445
MASCOT: Hey! You!
1386
01:03:52,662 --> 01:03:54,778
Little birdie told me
you're into bears!
1387
01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:56,201
(growls)
1388
01:03:56,791 --> 01:03:57,656
(mascot laughs)
1389
01:03:58,293 --> 01:03:59,499
Dude! It's me!
1390
01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:00,910
(grunts)
1391
01:04:01,629 --> 01:04:03,119
I'm the Creekwood bear.
1392
01:04:03,882 --> 01:04:05,088
Of course you are.
1393
01:04:05,216 --> 01:04:06,172
Thank you.
1394
01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:07,583
Not a compliment.
1395
01:04:07,677 --> 01:04:09,793
Hey, um... I figured out
my next move with Abby.
1396
01:04:10,263 --> 01:04:11,628
Great, that's good for you,
Martin.
1397
01:04:12,557 --> 01:04:14,423
I just wanted to run it by you
real quick.
1398
01:04:14,642 --> 01:04:16,053
No, Martin, look.
1399
01:04:16,436 --> 01:04:17,767
I've been helping you for weeks
1400
01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:19,219
and I am sick and tired
of helping you
1401
01:04:19,314 --> 01:04:20,304
mess with my friends' lives.
1402
01:04:20,398 --> 01:04:21,559
So why don't you
just do that shit
1403
01:04:21,691 --> 01:04:22,806
that you did at Waffle House?
1404
01:04:23,068 --> 01:04:24,149
That went great.
1405
01:04:24,819 --> 01:04:26,435
So you're saying
I should go for it?
1406
01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:27,606
It's kind of a big gesture.
1407
01:04:27,697 --> 01:04:29,904
Go big or go home!
Right, Martin?
1408
01:04:30,825 --> 01:04:31,906
Go big or go home.
1409
01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:34,409
I like that.
Thanks for the pep talk, man!
1410
01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:36,369
Gotta get amped up.
1411
01:04:37,248 --> 01:04:38,955
(grunts) Come on!
1412
01:04:39,376 --> 01:04:40,241
(cheerleaders whooping)
1413
01:04:40,752 --> 01:04:41,992
(marching band playing
"Bad Romance")
1414
01:04:42,128 --> 01:04:43,994
(players yelling)
1415
01:04:45,340 --> 01:04:46,546
MR. WORTH:
We're gonna take ya!
1416
01:04:46,716 --> 01:04:48,627
(singing to "Bad Romance")
♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw ♪
1417
01:04:48,718 --> 01:04:50,800
♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw ♪
1418
01:04:55,392 --> 01:04:56,427
AARON: Ethan!
1419
01:04:57,310 --> 01:04:58,721
I didn't know
you like football.
1420
01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:00,936
He's just here
to check out the packages.
1421
01:05:01,022 --> 01:05:02,262
Didn't your mother ever tell you
1422
01:05:02,357 --> 01:05:04,439
not to grab your
micropenis in public?
1423
01:05:04,818 --> 01:05:06,934
Could we get some hummus
for that baby carrot?
1424
01:05:07,195 --> 01:05:08,606
(laughs)
Shut up, man.
1425
01:05:13,451 --> 01:05:15,408
SIMON: Hey, guys.
What's up? Hey.
1426
01:05:18,790 --> 01:05:19,655
How was dinner?
1427
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:20,698
It was good.
1428
01:05:21,459 --> 01:05:23,621
Yeah, uh, we got
soup dumplings.
1429
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:26,287
That dumpling place
I told you about?
1430
01:05:27,215 --> 01:05:28,080
Yeah.
1431
01:05:28,174 --> 01:05:30,006
You know, maybe you could go
with Martin.
1432
01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:33,547
Why would I go with Martin?
(scoffs)
1433
01:05:34,222 --> 01:05:37,010
ANNOUNCER: Please stand
for the national anthem.
1434
01:05:41,479 --> 01:05:43,186
This goes out
to all the refugees.
1435
01:05:44,149 --> 01:05:46,140
And my vocal coach,
Monica Lewis.
1436
01:05:46,776 --> 01:05:47,641
MAN: Yeah!
1437
01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:53,610
♪ O say can you see ♪
1438
01:05:54,284 --> 01:05:59,575
♪ By the dawn 's early light ♪
1439
01:06:00,123 --> 01:06:01,864
♪ What so proud... ♪
1440
01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:03,748
What the hell are you doing?
1441
01:06:05,462 --> 01:06:06,497
Sorry. Hi.
1442
01:06:06,671 --> 01:06:08,912
Hi, everyone.
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
1443
01:06:09,007 --> 01:06:10,623
Why are we interrupting
the national anthem?
1444
01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:12,003
MARTIN:
But I have something to say...
1445
01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:14,751
that's a little more important
than the national anthem.
1446
01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,178
No offense, America.
1447
01:06:19,434 --> 01:06:22,347
Abigail Katherine Susso...
1448
01:06:23,021 --> 01:06:25,137
when you transferred
to Creekwood High School,
1449
01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:27,681
just a short three
and a half months ago,
1450
01:06:29,110 --> 01:06:31,226
you not only transferred
into a new school,
1451
01:06:31,738 --> 01:06:34,480
you transferred your way
into a new heart
1452
01:06:35,325 --> 01:06:37,987
belonging to me.
My heart. Right here.
1453
01:06:38,703 --> 01:06:41,491
And whether it was being
your partner in pong,
1454
01:06:42,123 --> 01:06:43,705
or your Waffle House warrior,
1455
01:06:44,751 --> 01:06:45,957
I have cherished...
1456
01:06:46,544 --> 01:06:51,505
the 135,300 minutes
that we've spent together.
1457
01:06:52,133 --> 01:06:53,168
Oh, I'm sorry.
1458
01:06:53,927 --> 01:06:58,012
135,301 minutes.
1459
01:06:58,556 --> 01:07:01,765
And I know that you're
this smart, talented
1460
01:07:02,352 --> 01:07:03,558
perfect creature.
1461
01:07:04,646 --> 01:07:09,857
And, uh, I'm just a sweaty
schlub in a bear costume.
1462
01:07:10,777 --> 01:07:12,359
But like old Bogie used to say,
1463
01:07:13,488 --> 01:07:14,853
it's a "crazy mixed-up world."
1464
01:07:15,949 --> 01:07:17,110
So, Abby,
1465
01:07:17,784 --> 01:07:18,990
without further ado...
1466
01:07:21,329 --> 01:07:22,364
will you go out with me?
1467
01:07:23,915 --> 01:07:26,031
She's too hot for you, assface!
1468
01:07:27,001 --> 01:07:29,083
Excuse me. Sorry.
1469
01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:34,047
Just say yes. Say yes.
1470
01:07:34,259 --> 01:07:35,124
ABBY: Martin...
1471
01:07:36,344 --> 01:07:38,051
I am so sorry.
1472
01:07:39,138 --> 01:07:40,879
I don't feel that way about you.
1473
01:07:42,892 --> 01:07:43,848
You don't?
1474
01:07:45,770 --> 01:07:46,635
No.
1475
01:07:47,272 --> 01:07:48,854
But I really like
hanging out with you
1476
01:07:48,940 --> 01:07:52,934
and I don't know, maybe we could
still be friends, you know?
1477
01:07:53,528 --> 01:07:54,484
Yeah, uh...
1478
01:07:56,447 --> 01:07:57,562
Are those doves?
1479
01:08:01,327 --> 01:08:02,692
(crowd gasps)
1480
01:08:03,037 --> 01:08:04,869
No, no, hey, hey! Suraj!
1481
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:07,322
Hey! No, no!
She said no! No, don't.
1482
01:08:08,334 --> 01:08:10,245
(crowd laughing)
1483
01:08:15,883 --> 01:08:17,465
Yo, I thought you said
she liked him.
1484
01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:22,171
Not the ceremonious
dove launch I was hoping for.
1485
01:08:22,515 --> 01:08:25,553
But still uplifting to free
some birds.
1486
01:08:26,060 --> 01:08:26,925
Yeah.
1487
01:08:27,729 --> 01:08:28,844
Okay, uh...
1488
01:08:30,148 --> 01:08:31,104
Enjoy the game.
1489
01:08:33,276 --> 01:08:35,313
Nice try, Martin!
And way to go, Martin!
1490
01:08:35,403 --> 01:08:37,314
You gave it a shot! Right?
1491
01:08:37,739 --> 01:08:39,275
(all cheering)
1492
01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:49,698
That was terrible.
1493
01:08:50,793 --> 01:08:52,909
Don't worry, people will get
over it in a few weeks.
1494
01:08:58,968 --> 01:09:00,083
(glass shattering)
1495
01:09:02,347 --> 01:09:03,257
(bear growls)
1496
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:15,186
MARTIN (imitating Trump):
This is Donald J. Trump.
1497
01:09:15,318 --> 01:09:17,309
Martin Addison can't come
to the phone right now.
1498
01:09:17,403 --> 01:09:20,065
Hey, Martin, it's Simon. Again.
1499
01:09:20,281 --> 01:09:23,524
Um, look, I wanna make sure
you're doing all right.
1500
01:09:23,618 --> 01:09:25,279
I know it's been tough
since, uh...
1501
01:09:26,412 --> 01:09:29,200
Well, you know since when.
Um, listen. Just...
1502
01:09:30,208 --> 01:09:31,573
Just give me a call back, okay?
1503
01:09:31,751 --> 01:09:32,991
I just wanna make
sure you're okay.
1504
01:09:34,128 --> 01:09:35,118
-(knocking on window)
-(yelps)
1505
01:09:35,338 --> 01:09:38,080
Hey! What you doin' in there?
1506
01:09:38,216 --> 01:09:39,081
Really?
1507
01:09:39,258 --> 01:09:41,340
I need you to help me decorate.
Untangle these for me, will ya?
1508
01:09:41,469 --> 01:09:42,959
This is not cool. I'll be down
in a minute, okay?
1509
01:09:43,054 --> 01:09:44,920
- What's not cool?
- I'll be down in a minute.
1510
01:09:45,014 --> 01:09:47,051
The fact that you're on
a ladder next to my room!
1511
01:09:47,141 --> 01:09:48,427
I can still clearly see you.
1512
01:09:49,060 --> 01:09:52,849
All right, there you go.
Okay. Merry Christmas.
1513
01:09:53,523 --> 01:09:54,479
(computer chimes)
1514
01:09:58,736 --> 01:09:59,851
BLUE: Jacques,
1515
01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:01,562
I'm drinking eggnog and packing
to go to my dad's cabin
1516
01:10:01,656 --> 01:10:02,566
on Lake Rabun.
1517
01:10:02,740 --> 01:10:04,981
I'm pretty sure there 's a photo
of it on the Wikipedia page
1518
01:10:05,118 --> 01:10:06,279
for "middle of nowhere. "
1519
01:10:06,911 --> 01:10:08,151
Middle of nowhere.
1520
01:10:08,871 --> 01:10:10,532
I'm going to an unheated
vacation house
1521
01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:11,746
in the middle of nowhere.
1522
01:10:13,084 --> 01:10:14,370
Oh, shit.
1523
01:10:14,961 --> 01:10:17,328
BLUE: There's barely electricity
and definitely no cell service
1524
01:10:17,672 --> 01:10:20,004
so this will be my last email
for a while.
1525
01:10:20,633 --> 01:10:22,294
It should be a real
rite of passage.
1526
01:10:22,510 --> 01:10:24,296
A dad and his gay son
pretending they like
1527
01:10:24,387 --> 01:10:26,469
to fish and trying to find
things to talk about.
1528
01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:28,088
It's gonna to be
an excruciating two weeks
1529
01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:30,215
without you, Jacques.
Love, Blue.
1530
01:10:30,685 --> 01:10:32,301
SIMON: Sounds like you're
gonna need some good music.
1531
01:10:32,395 --> 01:10:34,306
So I'm sending a list
of the seven best
1532
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:36,312
Christmas songs of all time.
1533
01:10:36,733 --> 01:10:38,144
Of course it includes
David Bowie's
1534
01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:39,144
"Little Drummer Boy,"
1535
01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:40,817
and Smokey Robinson
& The Miracles'
1536
01:10:40,903 --> 01:10:41,859
"Christmas Everyday,"
1537
01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:43,527
but the number one song
you're gonna need,
1538
01:10:43,740 --> 01:10:45,981
and trust me, I know this sounds
a little bit twee...
1539
01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:48,149
("Someday at Christmas" playing)
1540
01:11:43,758 --> 01:11:46,250
(cell phone ringing)
1541
01:11:49,347 --> 01:11:51,054
-Si, have you seen it?
- Hey.
1542
01:11:51,724 --> 01:11:52,589
Seen what?
1543
01:11:53,142 --> 01:11:54,007
CreekSecrets.
1544
01:11:55,186 --> 01:11:56,802
You need to look
at your computer right away.
1545
01:11:59,941 --> 01:12:01,898
MARTIN: Dear fellow
Creekwood students,
1546
01:12:02,109 --> 01:12:04,521
Simon Spier
has a secret male pen pal.
1547
01:12:04,737 --> 01:12:05,943
Because he's gay.
1548
01:12:06,364 --> 01:12:08,605
Interested parties
may contact him directly
1549
01:12:08,699 --> 01:12:10,610
to discuss arrangements
for butt sex.
1550
01:12:10,993 --> 01:12:12,779
Ladies need not apply.
1551
01:12:13,412 --> 01:12:15,449
We should all probably be
talking about this
1552
01:12:15,540 --> 01:12:17,577
instead of Martin Addison's
homecoming debacle
1553
01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:19,791
which was actually
kind of sweet,
1554
01:12:20,086 --> 01:12:21,702
and romantic,
if you think about it.
1555
01:12:22,463 --> 01:12:24,329
Sincerely, Anonymous.
1556
01:12:30,888 --> 01:12:33,220
LEAH: Si, have you read it?
1557
01:12:33,558 --> 01:12:34,639
SIMON: I can't talk right now.
1558
01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:36,307
- LEAH: No. Si, wait!
- I gotta go.
1559
01:12:37,436 --> 01:12:38,301
Si?
1560
01:12:38,896 --> 01:12:39,761
I saw it.
1561
01:12:40,690 --> 01:12:43,182
I already reported it.
They're gonna take it down.
1562
01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:44,357
It's too late.
1563
01:12:44,443 --> 01:12:46,150
No, there's people
who've already seen it, so...
1564
01:12:46,529 --> 01:12:47,610
it doesn't really matter.
1565
01:12:49,615 --> 01:12:50,480
It's true.
1566
01:12:52,535 --> 01:12:54,617
I'm... I'm gay.
1567
01:12:55,621 --> 01:12:56,486
Oh...
1568
01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:58,446
So what are you gonna do?
1569
01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:00,657
I don't know.
1570
01:13:01,294 --> 01:13:02,250
You could deny it.
1571
01:13:03,087 --> 01:13:04,873
Why the hell would
I deny it, Nora?
1572
01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:06,208
I'm not ashamed of it.
1573
01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:08,665
You've just never really
said anything.
1574
01:13:08,926 --> 01:13:09,791
So what?
1575
01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:11,217
What does that have
to do with anything?
1576
01:13:11,304 --> 01:13:12,419
What the hell are
you talking about?
1577
01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:13,753
(sobbing) Sorry.
1578
01:13:20,021 --> 01:13:21,887
SIMON: I know you're going
off the grid and you won't see
1579
01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:23,517
this until you're back,
but something's happened.
1580
01:13:24,191 --> 01:13:25,807
You're gonna find out
who I am.
1581
01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:27,942
And someone posted our emails.
1582
01:13:28,195 --> 01:13:30,732
Please don't freak out.
Please, Blue.
1583
01:13:31,157 --> 01:13:32,989
I need you to promise me
you won't disappear.
1584
01:13:35,202 --> 01:13:36,283
(computer chiming)
1585
01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:42,578
-(cell phone vibrating)
-(exhales)
1586
01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:10,310
NORA:
Let me open my present.
1587
01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:12,942
EMILY: Honey, I'm trying to
tell you you need to shave.
1588
01:14:14,116 --> 01:14:15,606
JACK: Does that mean
you're gonna keep cooking?
1589
01:14:15,701 --> 01:14:17,408
NORA: Yeah, of course. I can
make dinner tonight, too.
1590
01:14:17,495 --> 01:14:18,360
- JACK: Awesome.
- What's this for?
1591
01:14:18,621 --> 01:14:19,486
Oh!
1592
01:14:19,872 --> 01:14:21,704
This one, Sherlock.
There you go.
1593
01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:28,203
NORA: What is it?
1594
01:14:29,674 --> 01:14:31,085
Bluetooth headphones.
1595
01:14:31,175 --> 01:14:32,757
Do you like the black?
Oh, I love it.
1596
01:14:32,927 --> 01:14:34,258
EMILY: Because I didn't
know if you liked...
1597
01:14:34,345 --> 01:14:35,210
This is great.
1598
01:14:35,304 --> 01:14:36,510
They have other colors.
He said he likes it.
1599
01:14:36,597 --> 01:14:38,087
SIMON: No, I love it.
Okay. I have the receipt.
1600
01:14:38,224 --> 01:14:39,259
JACK: He's good.
1601
01:14:45,564 --> 01:14:48,556
Actually, I did want to talk
to you guys about something.
1602
01:14:49,944 --> 01:14:50,809
What is it?
1603
01:14:52,947 --> 01:14:54,187
Uh, well...
1604
01:14:54,323 --> 01:14:55,279
JACK: Let me guess...
1605
01:14:57,034 --> 01:14:58,195
you got somebody pregnant.
1606
01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:00,576
No, you're pregnant.
1607
01:15:01,122 --> 01:15:03,614
-Yeah. Yeah, I'm pregnant.
-JACK (chuckles): I knew it.
1608
01:15:03,708 --> 01:15:04,743
He's got that glow about him,
baby.
1609
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,700
- EMILY: Honey.
- No. Uh...
1610
01:15:12,842 --> 01:15:13,877
I'm gay.
1611
01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:17,127
Honey.
1612
01:15:20,141 --> 01:15:22,303
And I don't want you guys to
think anything different.
1613
01:15:23,019 --> 01:15:23,929
I'm still me.
1614
01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:25,218
Of course you are.
1615
01:15:25,312 --> 01:15:26,677
Oh, Simon.
Yeah.
1616
01:15:27,606 --> 01:15:28,812
So you're Gay?
1617
01:15:29,775 --> 01:15:31,391
Which one of your
old girlfriends turned ya?
1618
01:15:31,485 --> 01:15:33,226
Was it the one
with the big eyebrow...
1619
01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:34,401
Jack.
NORA: Jesus Christ.
1620
01:15:34,488 --> 01:15:35,853
Dad, can you ever
shut the hell up?
1621
01:15:35,948 --> 01:15:36,813
I'm kidding.
1622
01:15:36,907 --> 01:15:38,193
It's not funny.
I'm kidding, Nora.
1623
01:15:38,284 --> 01:15:39,945
Just open up your gift. Please.
1624
01:15:45,374 --> 01:15:46,489
EMILY: It's okay, honey.
1625
01:15:46,709 --> 01:15:47,995
- Nora, I got you this.
- NORA: Simon.
1626
01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:49,325
That's for you.
No, that's for you.
1627
01:15:49,420 --> 01:15:50,660
That's from me.
1628
01:15:55,718 --> 01:15:56,799
It's a Cuisinart.
1629
01:15:58,262 --> 01:15:59,844
I love it. Thank you, Simon.
1630
01:16:03,851 --> 01:16:06,513
SIMON: Dear Blue,
happy New Year.
1631
01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:07,973
I haven't heard from you,
1632
01:16:08,064 --> 01:16:10,351
so I'm going to assume it's
because you have no service.
1633
01:16:11,108 --> 01:16:13,190
I came out to my entire family
on Christmas.
1634
01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:14,809
It didn't go great.
1635
01:16:15,196 --> 01:16:17,233
And I've been avoiding
my friends the whole break
1636
01:16:17,448 --> 01:16:19,030
for all sorts of reasons.
1637
01:16:19,784 --> 01:16:21,240
Change is exhausting.
1638
01:16:21,702 --> 01:16:22,942
I feel like there's
nowhere to hide
1639
01:16:23,079 --> 01:16:24,786
from all the newness
of everything.
1640
01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:26,617
Except here. With you.
1641
01:16:27,124 --> 01:16:28,330
Please write to me.
1642
01:16:28,709 --> 01:16:31,041
As soon as you get
even one bar of service.
1643
01:16:32,296 --> 01:16:33,252
Breakfast burrito?
1644
01:16:34,131 --> 01:16:34,996
Thanks.
1645
01:16:35,382 --> 01:16:36,338
EMILY: Hey, Si.
1646
01:16:38,677 --> 01:16:39,633
Come sit down.
1647
01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:43,383
I'm gonna be late.
1648
01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:00,071
(Sighs)
1649
01:17:15,089 --> 01:17:15,954
Hey, guys-
1650
01:17:16,674 --> 01:17:17,880
Hey, Simon, we need to talk.
1651
01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:21,626
So Abby and I hung out
on New Year's Eve, and...
1652
01:17:22,721 --> 01:17:23,836
you see, now we're together.
1653
01:17:24,014 --> 01:17:26,346
-That's awesome. That's great.
-NICK: Yeah, it is.
1654
01:17:27,893 --> 01:17:30,055
But then we got to talking
about why it took so long.
1655
01:17:30,855 --> 01:17:32,095
ABBY: Why did you tell Nick
that I have
1656
01:17:32,273 --> 01:17:33,559
a boyfriend in college
named Jonathan?
1657
01:17:33,649 --> 01:17:34,605
Why'd you make that up?
1658
01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:35,724
Look, Martin...
1659
01:17:35,943 --> 01:17:38,651
he was the one who wrote
that CreekSecrets post about me.
1660
01:17:39,196 --> 01:17:40,857
He screenshotted my emails
1661
01:17:40,990 --> 01:17:43,652
and he's been using them
to blackmail me for months.
1662
01:17:44,368 --> 01:17:46,075
What does that have to do
with us, Simon?
1663
01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:48,994
He told me that if I didn't
help him get with Abby,
1664
01:17:49,123 --> 01:17:50,454
he'd out me.
1665
01:17:53,043 --> 01:17:54,078
And I...
1666
01:17:54,962 --> 01:17:56,544
That's why I had to
keep you guys apart.
1667
01:17:56,797 --> 01:17:58,208
So you made up a bunch of lies.
1668
01:17:59,592 --> 01:18:01,708
And that's why you convinced me
to go on that date with Leah?
1669
01:18:02,386 --> 01:18:03,842
You know, to keep me away
from Abby?
1670
01:18:04,054 --> 01:18:06,045
So, wait. Running lines
at Waffle House
1671
01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:07,756
and beer pong at Bram's,
1672
01:18:07,975 --> 01:18:10,137
all of that was just to
pawn me off on Martin?
1673
01:18:10,978 --> 01:18:12,514
I'm not
a piece of meat, Simon.
1674
01:18:13,564 --> 01:18:15,430
You know how hard it was
for me to start over.
1675
01:18:17,776 --> 01:18:18,857
I trusted you.
1676
01:18:19,528 --> 01:18:20,609
(Sighs)
1677
01:18:23,407 --> 01:18:24,863
Hey, come on, Leah.
I'll take you to school.
1678
01:18:31,290 --> 01:18:33,998
Leah. Leah, please.
Listen, listen.
1679
01:18:34,168 --> 01:18:35,499
I know I messed up, okay?
1680
01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:36,872
But I knew you were
in love with Nick.
1681
01:18:36,962 --> 01:18:38,669
And I thought that maybe...
Just stop it!
1682
01:18:39,882 --> 01:18:41,668
You know what? You are
insanely stupid, Simon.
1683
01:18:41,759 --> 01:18:44,751
I was never in love with Nick.
I was in love with you!
1684
01:18:46,305 --> 01:18:47,170
(gasps)
1685
01:18:48,224 --> 01:18:49,089
But...
1686
01:18:50,434 --> 01:18:52,141
We're... We're us.
1687
01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:53,509
Yeah, well...
1688
01:18:54,146 --> 01:18:55,887
(sighs) Sorry.
1689
01:18:58,484 --> 01:18:59,815
I've been trying to tell you.
1690
01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:05,355
That night I slept over,
I was trying to tell you.
1691
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:09,867
You wanna know
the funniest part?
1692
01:19:10,871 --> 01:19:13,078
It's that all these years, you
being so picky with girls,
1693
01:19:13,165 --> 01:19:17,250
I thought that maybe it was
because you might like me, too.
1694
01:19:18,003 --> 01:19:20,335
And then, you know, you told me
I should go out with Nick
1695
01:19:20,547 --> 01:19:22,413
and I realized you were just
never gonna see me that way.
1696
01:19:23,968 --> 01:19:26,050
I can deal with you
being gay, Si.
1697
01:19:27,054 --> 01:19:28,715
But you set me up
to get my heart broken
1698
01:19:28,806 --> 01:19:30,137
when you thought
I was in love with Nick
1699
01:19:30,266 --> 01:19:31,552
and that just makes you cruel.
1700
01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:39,889
-(car engine starts)
—(Simon sighs)
1701
01:19:46,115 --> 01:19:49,574
(students murmuring)
1702
01:20:01,505 --> 01:20:02,370
You all right?
1703
01:20:02,548 --> 01:20:03,413
Hanging in there.
1704
01:20:04,425 --> 01:20:06,382
Uh, for the record,
1705
01:20:06,468 --> 01:20:09,210
when I was saying that we have
a lot in common, you know,
1706
01:20:09,305 --> 01:20:11,137
I wasn't really... That's not
what I was talking about.
1707
01:20:11,724 --> 01:20:12,589
Gotcha.
1708
01:20:13,225 --> 01:20:14,465
Just FYI, just for the record.
1709
01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:15,800
SIMON: Okay, great. Thanks.
All right.
1710
01:20:26,530 --> 01:20:27,736
Hey, Jackie.
1711
01:20:28,115 --> 01:20:30,482
Did you date me because you
think I look like a guy?
1712
01:20:31,410 --> 01:20:33,651
No. No, I actually
broke up with you
1713
01:20:33,746 --> 01:20:35,157
because you don't look
like a guy.
1714
01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:38,873
Oh. Oh, okay. Thanks.
1715
01:20:39,460 --> 01:20:40,325
Welcome.
1716
01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:43,411
What did he say?
1717
01:20:52,264 --> 01:20:53,470
(Sighs)
1718
01:20:53,682 --> 01:20:55,389
(rap music playing on phone)
1719
01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:57,012
Yeah! Hey, Creekwood!
1720
01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:01,011
This one's for you, Spier.
1721
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:03,893
Hey, Ethan.
1722
01:21:04,526 --> 01:21:05,732
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah.
1723
01:21:10,115 --> 01:21:11,776
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
1724
01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:13,608
You like that,
don't you, Spier?
1725
01:21:14,620 --> 01:21:15,485
Yeah.
1726
01:21:15,704 --> 01:21:17,615
Oh, yeah, Ethan, Simon likey.
1727
01:21:18,082 --> 01:21:20,744
(Aaron and Spencer moaning)
1728
01:21:22,378 --> 01:21:23,868
You have something
you wanna say to me?
1729
01:21:25,297 --> 01:21:26,628
I said do you have something
to say to me?
1730
01:21:26,757 --> 01:21:27,838
(turns off music)
1731
01:21:27,925 --> 01:21:28,790
I'll take it from here.
1732
01:21:28,967 --> 01:21:29,832
Hey, Ms. Albright.
1733
01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:31,216
Don't "Hey, Ms. Albright" me.
1734
01:21:31,428 --> 01:21:33,089
We're not friends. You're not
gonna braid my hair
1735
01:21:33,263 --> 01:21:34,173
or paint my nails.
1736
01:21:34,264 --> 01:21:35,629
Get your ass
off the table now!
1737
01:21:35,933 --> 01:21:38,300
You sweaty, hormonal virgins.
1738
01:21:38,727 --> 01:21:40,593
You know what? You're about to
be suspended for so long,
1739
01:21:40,938 --> 01:21:42,428
that by the time it's over,
you're gonna be
1740
01:21:42,689 --> 01:21:45,147
the fat, bald, unhappily married
1741
01:21:45,234 --> 01:21:48,226
wildly mediocre nobodies
you're destined to become.
1742
01:21:48,445 --> 01:21:49,776
You can't talk to us like that.
1743
01:21:50,072 --> 01:21:51,654
Actually, I can,
'cause I just did.
1744
01:21:51,865 --> 01:21:53,481
And you know why?
Because you're just those two
1745
01:21:53,575 --> 01:21:54,940
assholes that did
that shitty thing
1746
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:57,777
in front of the whole school.
And guess what?
1747
01:21:58,247 --> 01:22:01,160
Nobody feels sorry for those
assholes, especially me.
1748
01:22:01,834 --> 01:22:03,950
Now, walk.
Mr. Worth's office now.
1749
01:22:04,044 --> 01:22:04,909
Bye.
1750
01:22:05,879 --> 01:22:07,119
Uh-uh. That's mine now.
1751
01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:09,835
I'mma sell it.
Get my tubes tied.
1752
01:22:10,551 --> 01:22:12,758
(scattered laughter and chatter)
1753
01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:25,471
(inaudible conversation)
1754
01:22:26,442 --> 01:22:28,479
Why does Mr. Worth
have to talk to us?
1755
01:22:29,653 --> 01:22:31,143
I mean, can't we just
let this shit go?
1756
01:22:34,908 --> 01:22:36,114
Hey, I'm sorry, Ethan.
1757
01:22:38,662 --> 01:22:40,994
None of this ever happened
when just you were out.
1758
01:22:42,875 --> 01:22:44,707
You know what they say,
one gay's a snooze,
1759
01:22:44,793 --> 01:22:46,329
two's a hilarious hate crime.
1760
01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:53,382
You could've told me
you were gay.
1761
01:22:56,138 --> 01:22:57,674
I guess I didn't think
we had very much in common.
1762
01:22:57,931 --> 01:22:59,922
(scoffs)
You're telling me, Simon.
1763
01:23:00,017 --> 01:23:01,473
It's not like your
all—hoodie wardrobe
1764
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:02,721
rocks my world.
1765
01:23:03,145 --> 01:23:04,135
(Simon chuckles)
1766
01:23:09,234 --> 01:23:10,099
I don't know.
1767
01:23:10,903 --> 01:23:12,064
Maybe I was jealous.
1768
01:23:13,447 --> 01:23:14,778
You've been out
since you were 16.
1769
01:23:17,409 --> 01:23:19,070
It always seemed
so easy for you.
1770
01:23:19,369 --> 01:23:20,234
Easy?
1771
01:23:20,996 --> 01:23:22,202
Are you kidding me?
1772
01:23:25,125 --> 01:23:26,957
My mom still tells
my grandparents
1773
01:23:27,044 --> 01:23:28,409
about all the girls I'm dating
1774
01:23:28,504 --> 01:23:31,246
when we go over to their house
for dinner, every Sunday.
1775
01:23:32,382 --> 01:23:34,623
She says it's 'cause
they're old and religious,
1776
01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:36,625
and it's just easier that way.
1777
01:23:38,263 --> 01:23:39,469
I don't know,
maybe that's true.
1778
01:23:40,724 --> 01:23:43,307
But you should hear her voice
when she talks about the girls.
1779
01:23:49,066 --> 01:23:50,773
All right, boys, come on in.
1780
01:23:51,652 --> 01:23:52,733
Come on.
1781
01:23:54,279 --> 01:23:55,519
All right,
just stand right here.
1782
01:23:55,864 --> 01:23:56,729
(speaks French)
1783
01:23:58,242 --> 01:23:59,107
Get up.
1784
01:24:02,704 --> 01:24:04,115
Okay, these gentlemen
have something
1785
01:24:04,206 --> 01:24:05,446
that they would
like to say to you.
1786
01:24:05,791 --> 01:24:07,247
We're sorry.
Our bad.
1787
01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:09,200
That's right.
'Cause at Creekwood High,
1788
01:24:09,294 --> 01:24:10,204
what do we believe in?
1789
01:24:10,379 --> 01:24:11,414
BOTH: Tolerance.
1790
01:24:11,838 --> 01:24:14,000
And "tolerance" means
we respect
1791
01:24:14,091 --> 01:24:15,798
Simon and Ethan's choice
to be boyfriends.
1792
01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:17,500
We are not boyfriends.
Yeah. No.
1793
01:24:17,886 --> 01:24:20,594
Hey, whatever you wanna call it,
it's fine with me. Seriously.
1794
01:24:20,722 --> 01:24:22,804
We call it "two people
1795
01:24:22,891 --> 01:24:24,598
that are not at all
romantically involved."
1796
01:24:24,685 --> 01:24:25,971
Yeah, I get it.
Keepin' it casual, man.
1797
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:27,222
I can dig, seriously.
1798
01:24:29,231 --> 01:24:31,973
Oh. Simon. Hey, can we talk?
1799
01:24:32,484 --> 01:24:33,849
I don't have anything
to say to you.
1800
01:24:33,944 --> 01:24:35,434
Please, please.
I just wanted to say
1801
01:24:35,529 --> 01:24:36,485
that I was sorry, okay?
1802
01:24:36,572 --> 01:24:38,188
I didn't know or think
1803
01:24:38,323 --> 01:24:39,609
that people still
did shit like that.
1804
01:24:39,783 --> 01:24:41,490
And I got in a lot of shit
for Homecoming,
1805
01:24:41,577 --> 01:24:43,864
and I wanted everyone to focus
on something else, you know?
1806
01:24:43,954 --> 01:24:45,444
I just didn't think
it was gonna be a big thing.
1807
01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:47,197
I don't care if you didn't
think that my coming out
1808
01:24:47,291 --> 01:24:48,781
was gonna be
a big thing, Martin.
1809
01:24:50,210 --> 01:24:51,416
Look, you don't get to
decide that.
1810
01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:53,877
I'm supposed to be the one
that decides when
1811
01:24:54,006 --> 01:24:56,964
and where, and how and who knows
and how I get to say it.
1812
01:24:57,050 --> 01:24:58,461
That's supposed to be
my thing!
1813
01:24:58,594 --> 01:25:00,084
And you took that away
from me.
1814
01:25:01,555 --> 01:25:03,922
So, look, can you please just
get the fuck away from me?
1815
01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:14,140
(Sighs)
1816
01:25:17,487 --> 01:25:18,602
(Sighs)
1817
01:25:26,997 --> 01:25:27,862
(computer chimes)
1818
01:25:36,173 --> 01:25:39,006
BLUE: I saw the posts.
I know who you are.
1819
01:25:40,010 --> 01:25:40,875
Jacques a Dit.
1820
01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:43,085
That's what they call
Simon Says in France.
1821
01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:44,511
Very clever.
1822
01:25:45,098 --> 01:25:47,556
I'm sorry, Simon.
I can't do this anymore.
1823
01:25:47,643 --> 01:25:49,429
- SIMON: Please, Blue.
- BLUE: I'm so sorry.
1824
01:25:49,770 --> 01:25:52,307
SIMON: You can't leave me alone.
Everything's falling apart.
1825
01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,189
(takes deep breath)
1826
01:26:22,552 --> 01:26:23,713
(sobbing)
1827
01:26:44,616 --> 01:26:45,856
I mean, I haven't
even talked to her.
1828
01:26:45,951 --> 01:26:47,157
I haven't even
seen her at school.
1829
01:26:49,538 --> 01:26:51,154
Anyway, I guess
I'll see you in class, right?
1830
01:26:51,289 --> 01:26:52,370
- GIRL: Yeah, totally.
- CAL: Okay.
1831
01:26:52,457 --> 01:26:53,572
Later.
1832
01:26:54,543 --> 01:26:55,453
Hey-
1833
01:26:55,669 --> 01:26:56,704
Hey, Simon.
1834
01:26:59,339 --> 01:27:00,204
Is it you?
1835
01:27:02,384 --> 01:27:03,249
Are you Blue?
1836
01:27:04,469 --> 01:27:07,678
No. No, it's not me. Sorry.
1837
01:27:11,393 --> 01:27:12,849
I know you've had
a crazy couple days.
1838
01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:13,892
You wanna talk about it?
1839
01:27:14,354 --> 01:27:16,470
No, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have asked.
1840
01:27:16,815 --> 01:27:18,476
No, don't worry.
Sorry for bothering you.
1841
01:27:38,420 --> 01:27:39,376
(door closes)
1842
01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:00,689
Did you know?
1843
01:28:06,448 --> 01:28:08,064
I knew you had a secret.
1844
01:28:13,413 --> 01:28:15,825
I mean, when you were little,
you were so carefree.
1845
01:28:17,417 --> 01:28:21,456
But these last few years,
more and more...
1846
01:28:23,298 --> 01:28:25,790
it's almost like I could
feel you holding your breath.
1847
01:28:33,725 --> 01:28:35,386
I wanted to ask you
about it, but I...
1848
01:28:36,520 --> 01:28:38,056
didn't wanna pry.
1849
01:28:41,358 --> 01:28:44,726
Maybe I made a mistake.
No. No, Mom, you...
1850
01:28:46,571 --> 01:28:47,902
You didn't make a mistake.
1851
01:28:52,410 --> 01:28:54,447
EMILY: Being gay is your thing.
1852
01:28:55,455 --> 01:28:58,322
There are parts of it
you have to go through alone.
1853
01:28:58,834 --> 01:28:59,790
I hate that.
1854
01:29:01,419 --> 01:29:04,207
As soon as you came out,
you said, "Mom, I'm still me."
1855
01:29:08,134 --> 01:29:09,420
I need you to hear this.
1856
01:29:11,847 --> 01:29:14,305
You are still you, Simon.
1857
01:29:16,726 --> 01:29:21,436
And you are still the same son
who I love to tease,
1858
01:29:22,566 --> 01:29:25,684
and who your father depends on
for just about everything.
1859
01:29:26,653 --> 01:29:28,018
And you're the same brother
1860
01:29:28,405 --> 01:29:31,113
who always compliments
his sister on her food,
1861
01:29:31,199 --> 01:29:33,110
even when it sucks.
1862
01:29:36,913 --> 01:29:39,075
But you get to exhale now,
Simon.
1863
01:29:41,334 --> 01:29:44,543
You get to be more you
than you have been...
1864
01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:48,539
in a very long time.
1865
01:29:56,057 --> 01:29:57,843
You deserve
everything you want.
1866
01:30:12,741 --> 01:30:13,776
My boy.
1867
01:30:30,634 --> 01:30:32,124
Hey, Leah.
1868
01:30:32,552 --> 01:30:33,713
Hey.
What's up?
1869
01:30:33,929 --> 01:30:34,919
What are you doing?
1870
01:30:35,889 --> 01:30:37,300
Just going for a run,
you know.
1871
01:30:38,224 --> 01:30:39,305
Daily ritual.
1872
01:30:39,392 --> 01:30:40,473
Yeah, you've never done that.
1873
01:30:41,394 --> 01:30:42,259
Have, too.
1874
01:30:42,896 --> 01:30:44,102
But you're wearing jeans.
1875
01:30:45,815 --> 01:30:46,725
They're my running jeans.
1876
01:30:46,816 --> 01:30:48,477
Simon, you're about to pass out.
1877
01:30:49,486 --> 01:30:51,102
(panting) Okay, fine.
I'm not going for a run.
1878
01:30:52,280 --> 01:30:53,896
Hey, Leah. Please, listen.
1879
01:30:53,990 --> 01:30:55,276
Look, I know, okay?
1880
01:30:55,408 --> 01:30:56,864
You didn't want anyone
to know you're gay.
1881
01:30:56,952 --> 01:30:58,442
No, that wasn't just it.
1882
01:31:02,082 --> 01:31:03,288
I fell in love with someone.
1883
01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:06,246
That guy in the emails...
1884
01:31:08,254 --> 01:31:09,119
I love him.
1885
01:31:10,465 --> 01:31:12,706
And I knew that if Martin
leaked our emails,
1886
01:31:12,801 --> 01:31:13,791
it'd scare him off.
1887
01:31:15,095 --> 01:31:15,960
I'm sorry.
1888
01:31:18,932 --> 01:31:20,297
I know what I did
was messed up.
1889
01:31:24,229 --> 01:31:25,094
You're my best friend.
1890
01:31:25,438 --> 01:31:26,394
If I'm your best friend,
1891
01:31:26,481 --> 01:31:28,222
then why did you come out
to Abby and not me?
1892
01:31:31,277 --> 01:31:32,312
Think it was easier.
1893
01:31:34,197 --> 01:31:35,733
I've known Abby for six months,
1894
01:31:36,449 --> 01:31:39,282
and I've known you
for 13 years.
1895
01:31:41,705 --> 01:31:42,945
And I knew that if I told you,
1896
01:31:43,039 --> 01:31:44,780
that everything
was gonna be different.
1897
01:31:46,960 --> 01:31:48,826
I really wanted things
to stay the same.
1898
01:31:53,591 --> 01:31:55,127
Tell me about this guy
you love.
1899
01:31:59,180 --> 01:32:00,762
You sure?
Yeah.
1900
01:32:01,641 --> 01:32:03,632
It'll help me kill off
Hetero Simon in my mind.
1901
01:32:04,394 --> 01:32:06,852
You don't have to kill him off.
He's dead, Si.
1902
01:32:07,355 --> 01:32:09,312
Hacking him up with
a mental machete as we speak.
1903
01:32:10,567 --> 01:32:11,682
(chuckles)
1904
01:32:12,152 --> 01:32:13,938
All right. Fair enough.
1905
01:32:16,865 --> 01:32:18,230
So, I call him Blue.
1906
01:32:28,710 --> 01:32:29,745
Hey, Si.
1907
01:32:31,796 --> 01:32:32,831
Yeah?
1908
01:32:38,470 --> 01:32:39,426
(Sighs)
1909
01:32:43,600 --> 01:32:44,761
How long have you known?
1910
01:32:47,353 --> 01:32:50,891
Like, I really started to get it
when I was around...
1911
01:32:53,193 --> 01:32:54,058
thirteen?
1912
01:32:54,486 --> 01:32:56,068
Four years? Four years of...
1913
01:32:57,822 --> 01:32:58,812
eating dinner together,
1914
01:32:58,907 --> 01:33:00,443
four years of
going to movies together.
1915
01:33:00,700 --> 01:33:03,408
Four years of
walking Bieber together.
1916
01:33:05,705 --> 01:33:06,786
I'm sorry.
1917
01:33:07,874 --> 01:33:08,955
I shouldn't have missed it.
1918
01:33:09,501 --> 01:33:11,117
No. Hey, no, Dad.
1919
01:33:11,419 --> 01:33:12,625
All those stupid jokes...
1920
01:33:13,505 --> 01:33:14,666
Well, I know
you didn't mean 'em.
1921
01:33:14,798 --> 01:33:16,380
It doesn't matter.
I shouldn't have missed it.
1922
01:33:20,261 --> 01:33:21,376
But...
1923
01:33:22,055 --> 01:33:24,137
in case the message
got lost somewhere I just...
1924
01:33:25,975 --> 01:33:27,761
I just want you to know
that I love you.
1925
01:33:29,979 --> 01:33:31,435
(crying) And I'm really
proud of you.
1926
01:33:33,024 --> 01:33:35,015
I wouldn't change anything
about you.
1927
01:33:38,196 --> 01:33:39,436
Hey. Shit, Dad.
1928
01:33:42,325 --> 01:33:43,190
Hey, stop crying-
1929
01:33:43,618 --> 01:33:45,359
I'm trying. I'm trying.
1930
01:33:46,621 --> 01:33:47,656
Oh, God.
1931
01:33:50,166 --> 01:33:51,031
Come here.
1932
01:34:01,094 --> 01:34:02,505
How's that video
for Mom coming?
1933
01:34:02,929 --> 01:34:04,135
Good.
Good, good.
1934
01:34:04,264 --> 01:34:05,299
Good.
1935
01:34:07,851 --> 01:34:08,886
You don't know how to export it,
1936
01:34:09,060 --> 01:34:10,175
do you?
Can you help me with that
1937
01:34:10,311 --> 01:34:11,301
please?
Yeah.
1938
01:34:11,813 --> 01:34:12,678
Okay.
Let's go.
1939
01:34:13,273 --> 01:34:14,308
Hey-
1940
01:34:15,150 --> 01:34:17,232
I thought maybe we could
sign up for Grindr together.
1941
01:34:18,570 --> 01:34:20,026
You don't know
what Grindr is, do you?
1942
01:34:21,197 --> 01:34:22,904
It's Facebook for gay people.
1943
01:34:23,700 --> 01:34:24,690
Not what it is.
1944
01:34:28,329 --> 01:34:29,911
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you
1945
01:34:29,998 --> 01:34:31,329
20 years of bliss.
1946
01:34:33,001 --> 01:34:35,993
(video playing)
1947
01:34:40,341 --> 01:34:41,706
EMILY: Did you guys do this?
1948
01:34:43,011 --> 01:34:44,376
Simon and I did it, yeah.
1949
01:34:45,555 --> 01:34:47,045
I just helped.
It was mostly me.
1950
01:34:47,390 --> 01:34:48,630
EMILY (laughs):
Yeah, right.
1951
01:34:52,979 --> 01:34:54,219
Really? Really?
1952
01:34:56,191 --> 01:34:57,647
EMILY: I can't believe
you did this.
1953
01:34:58,610 --> 01:35:00,442
I panicked
and bought you a watch.
1954
01:35:01,029 --> 01:35:02,019
That's okay.
1955
01:35:02,405 --> 01:35:04,612
You can give me somethin' later
that I can't get in the store.
1956
01:35:04,991 --> 01:35:06,231
That's really gross.
1957
01:35:06,492 --> 01:35:08,233
Oh, guys, just look.
Sorry, just pay attention.
1958
01:35:08,411 --> 01:35:10,152
Just look at baby Bieber!
1959
01:35:10,288 --> 01:35:11,403
NORA: He was so cute!
1960
01:35:11,915 --> 01:35:13,076
EMILY: Just look at our baby!
1961
01:35:17,170 --> 01:35:18,956
SIMON: Dear students
of Creekwood High School,
1962
01:35:19,631 --> 01:35:22,214
As anyone with a half-decent
data plan already knows,
1963
01:35:22,884 --> 01:35:24,841
a recent post
on this very website
1964
01:35:25,011 --> 01:35:26,297
declared that I was gay.
1965
01:35:27,055 --> 01:35:28,511
The delivery left something
to be desired,
1966
01:35:28,640 --> 01:35:29,880
but the message is true.
1967
01:35:30,683 --> 01:35:32,674
I am... gay.
1968
01:35:33,353 --> 01:35:36,186
For a long time, I was killing
myself to hide that fact.
1969
01:35:37,190 --> 01:35:38,430
I had all these reasons.
1970
01:35:38,524 --> 01:35:40,686
It was unfair that only
gay people had to come out.
1971
01:35:40,777 --> 01:35:42,233
I was sick of change.
1972
01:35:42,528 --> 01:35:43,893
But the truth is
I was just scared.
1973
01:35:43,988 --> 01:35:45,069
COACH: Come on, Garrett.
Let's go!
1974
01:35:45,156 --> 01:35:46,772
SIMON: At first I thought
it was just a gay thing.
1975
01:35:47,116 --> 01:35:48,857
But then I realized,
no matter what,
1976
01:35:49,035 --> 01:35:50,651
announcing who you are
to the world
1977
01:35:50,745 --> 01:35:51,860
is pretty terrifying
1978
01:35:52,121 --> 01:35:54,488
because what if the world
doesn't like you?
1979
01:35:55,124 --> 01:35:57,536
So, I did whatever] could
to keep my secret.
1980
01:35:58,253 --> 01:36:00,711
I hurt the best,
most important people.
1981
01:36:00,922 --> 01:36:02,583
And I want them to know
that I'm sorry.
1982
01:36:03,174 --> 01:36:04,710
I am done being scared.
1983
01:36:05,301 --> 01:36:06,587
I'm done living in a world
1984
01:36:06,761 --> 01:36:08,343
where I don't get
to be who I am.
1985
01:36:08,596 --> 01:36:10,553
I deserve a great love story.
1986
01:36:10,807 --> 01:36:13,219
Disclaimer, this is about
to get romantic as eff,
1987
01:36:13,601 --> 01:36:15,638
so anyone adverse to
gratuitous feelings
1988
01:36:15,728 --> 01:36:17,594
kindly click over
to the BuzzFeed quiz
1989
01:36:17,689 --> 01:36:19,726
or resume the porn
you paused to read this.
1990
01:36:19,857 --> 01:36:21,063
Did you even use the ladder?
1991
01:36:21,150 --> 01:36:22,811
SIMON:
This guy that I love once wrote
1992
01:36:22,902 --> 01:36:25,018
that he felt like he was stuck
on a Ferris wheel.
1993
01:36:25,738 --> 01:36:26,978
On top of the world
one minute,
1994
01:36:27,365 --> 01:36:28,605
at rock bottom the next.
1995
01:36:29,367 --> 01:36:30,402
That's howl feel now.
1996
01:36:32,161 --> 01:36:34,277
I couldn't ask
for more amazing friends,
1997
01:36:34,747 --> 01:36:36,203
a more understanding family.
1998
01:36:36,291 --> 01:36:38,202
But it would all
be so much better
1999
01:36:38,293 --> 01:36:39,624
if I had someone
to share it with.
2000
01:36:42,630 --> 01:36:43,495
So, Blue...
2001
01:36:44,424 --> 01:36:46,631
I might not know your name
or what you look like.
2002
01:36:48,177 --> 01:36:49,212
But I know who you are.
2003
01:36:50,638 --> 01:36:52,220
I know you're funny
and thoughtful.
2004
01:36:52,890 --> 01:36:54,221
That you choose
your words carefully
2005
01:36:54,350 --> 01:36:55,761
and that they're always perfect.
2006
01:36:56,728 --> 01:36:59,186
And I know that you've been
pretending for so long
2007
01:36:59,272 --> 01:37:00,728
it's hard to believe
you can stop.
2008
01:37:01,482 --> 01:37:02,347
I get it.
2009
01:37:03,401 --> 01:37:05,062
Like I told you
at the very beginning,
2010
01:37:05,737 --> 01:37:06,602
I'm just like you.
2011
01:37:06,696 --> 01:37:08,562
-GIRLS: Hi, Simon.
-SIMON: What's up?
2012
01:37:08,865 --> 01:37:09,730
SIMON: So, Blue...
2013
01:37:10,491 --> 01:37:13,574
after the play, Friday at 10:00,
you know where I'll be.
2014
01:37:14,746 --> 01:37:17,078
No pressure for you to
show up, but I hope you do.
2015
01:37:18,041 --> 01:37:19,907
Because you deserve
a great love story too.
2016
01:37:20,793 --> 01:37:22,909
Love, Simon.
2017
01:37:34,223 --> 01:37:36,055
♪ Willkommen ♪
2018
01:37:36,225 --> 01:37:37,886
♪ Bienvenue ♪
2019
01:37:38,144 --> 01:37:43,856
♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪
2020
01:37:44,776 --> 01:37:46,107
♪ Au cabaret ♪
2021
01:37:47,195 --> 01:37:54,113
♪ To cabaret ♪
2022
01:37:58,664 --> 01:38:00,496
(audience cheering)
2023
01:38:05,254 --> 01:38:06,710
(all gasping)
2024
01:38:07,465 --> 01:38:10,002
Okay. They're not
paying me enough for this.
2025
01:38:12,095 --> 01:38:13,631
(indistinct chatter)
2026
01:38:18,351 --> 01:38:19,341
- ABBY: Hi
- LEAH: Oh, my God.
2027
01:38:19,435 --> 01:38:20,470
- Oh, my God!
- You were amazing.
2028
01:38:20,561 --> 01:38:21,471
I'm not even kidding.
2029
01:38:21,604 --> 01:38:23,015
You were, like, insane.
Thank you!
2030
01:38:23,106 --> 01:38:24,642
What's
Baby!
2031
01:38:24,774 --> 01:38:25,730
(laughing)
2032
01:38:29,028 --> 01:38:30,063
ABBY: Yeah. Yeah.
2033
01:38:34,617 --> 01:38:35,482
(clears throat)
2034
01:38:35,993 --> 01:38:37,483
Hey, Simon.
Hey.
2035
01:38:40,915 --> 01:38:42,781
Do you wanna go to
the carnival with us tonight?
2036
01:38:48,089 --> 01:38:48,954
Yes.
2037
01:38:49,257 --> 01:38:50,292
Yeah?
SIMON: Yeah!
2038
01:38:50,383 --> 01:38:51,248
LEAH: Yay!
2039
01:38:51,467 --> 01:38:52,628
Get in here, Leah!
2040
01:38:53,177 --> 01:38:54,258
LEAH (grunts): The love!
2041
01:38:54,762 --> 01:38:55,718
Thank you.
2042
01:39:15,116 --> 01:39:16,231
We'll be right here.
Yeah.
2043
01:39:16,325 --> 01:39:17,781
Go get him.
All right.
2044
01:39:17,952 --> 01:39:19,442
Yes!
Woo! Yeah!
2045
01:39:19,537 --> 01:39:20,447
Go, Simon!
2046
01:39:20,538 --> 01:39:22,245
Spier, Spier, Spier.
Woo!
2047
01:39:23,249 --> 01:39:24,535
That should last a while.
2048
01:39:28,337 --> 01:39:29,327
GIRL: Oh, my God, look.
2049
01:39:29,547 --> 01:39:31,208
I bet he's waiting
for the other gay kid.
2050
01:39:31,424 --> 01:39:32,960
Where's Dana?
She'll love this.
2051
01:39:34,927 --> 01:39:37,043
ABBY: You got this, buddy.
Proud of you.
2052
01:39:37,138 --> 01:39:38,378
(students cheering)
2053
01:39:38,931 --> 01:39:40,262
Yeah, buddy!
Yeah!
2054
01:39:40,349 --> 01:39:41,430
You got it! Woo!
2055
01:39:41,559 --> 01:39:42,549
ABBY: This is it.
2056
01:39:47,273 --> 01:39:48,138
ALL: Yeah!
2057
01:39:48,733 --> 01:39:49,723
(cheering continues)
2058
01:39:55,198 --> 01:39:56,484
We love you, Simon!
2059
01:39:57,450 --> 01:39:59,157
(all cheering)
2060
01:40:01,287 --> 01:40:03,153
Yo. Can you just...
Come on, no.
2061
01:40:08,669 --> 01:40:10,080
(all whooping)
2062
01:40:24,977 --> 01:40:26,433
MAN: Go, Simon!
2063
01:40:31,734 --> 01:40:34,317
Okay. That's your
last ride ticket, buddy.
2064
01:40:36,572 --> 01:40:37,778
MARTIN: Wait. Wait!
2065
01:40:41,744 --> 01:40:43,576
Simon, it's me.
2066
01:40:45,498 --> 01:40:47,580
I'm Blue. I love you.
2067
01:40:49,043 --> 01:40:49,953
No, you're not.
2068
01:40:50,211 --> 01:40:51,918
No, I'm not. I just...
2069
01:40:53,005 --> 01:40:55,121
This is so brutal.
2070
01:40:57,051 --> 01:40:58,587
Here. I'll tell you what.
2071
01:40:59,053 --> 01:41:01,670
I got a couple...
How much is it?
2072
01:41:02,390 --> 01:41:05,223
It's four tickets, four bucks.
Perfect. Okay. There you go.
2073
01:41:05,351 --> 01:41:06,216
Last one's on me.
2074
01:41:07,937 --> 01:41:08,802
Got it.
2075
01:41:10,731 --> 01:41:12,688
Last call for the Ferris wheel!
2076
01:41:15,278 --> 01:41:17,610
Oh, no, I can't watch.
I can't watch this, babe. No.
2077
01:41:18,281 --> 01:41:19,362
This is awful.
2078
01:41:19,865 --> 01:41:21,481
Okay, Dora.
Wait, wait.
2079
01:41:23,411 --> 01:41:24,401
Can I sit there?
2080
01:41:25,454 --> 01:41:26,865
I was kind of waiting
for somebody.
2081
01:41:28,416 --> 01:41:29,281
Yeah, I know.
2082
01:41:34,380 --> 01:41:35,415
It's Bram!
2083
01:41:41,721 --> 01:41:42,586
It's you.
2084
01:41:44,432 --> 01:41:45,297
It's me.
2085
01:41:48,728 --> 01:41:50,184
But that night at the party...
2086
01:41:50,438 --> 01:41:53,271
Yeah.
I was drunk and confused.
2087
01:41:53,357 --> 01:41:55,815
And it ended, like,
a minute after you saw us.
2088
01:41:59,363 --> 01:42:00,228
And you're Jewish.
2089
01:42:01,157 --> 01:42:02,022
Yeah.
2090
01:42:03,117 --> 01:42:04,027
Which is cool.
2091
01:42:04,201 --> 01:42:05,111
(laughs)
2092
01:42:05,202 --> 01:42:06,363
And I'm black, too.
2093
01:42:07,622 --> 01:42:08,703
And 933/-
2094
01:42:10,207 --> 01:42:11,197
It's kind of crazy, huh?
2095
01:42:11,500 --> 01:42:12,456
I didn't think you'd come.
2096
01:42:13,794 --> 01:42:14,659
Me neither.
2097
01:42:15,087 --> 01:42:18,296
Until I was walking towards you,
I didn't think I had it in me.
2098
01:42:26,807 --> 01:42:28,548
(all murmuring)
2099
01:42:39,362 --> 01:42:40,852
Are you disappointed
that it's me?
2100
01:42:44,784 --> 01:42:45,649
No.
2101
01:42:49,372 --> 01:42:52,660
(all cheering)
2102
01:43:26,325 --> 01:43:27,941
(cell phone ringing)
2103
01:43:32,289 --> 01:43:33,154
Hey-
2104
01:43:33,249 --> 01:43:34,330
LEAH: Have you seen
CreekSecrets?
2105
01:43:34,458 --> 01:43:36,870
There are six new confessions,
all signed.
2106
01:43:37,545 --> 01:43:38,410
Listen to this.
2107
01:43:39,213 --> 01:43:41,454
”My parents didn't come
and see me in Cabaret.
2108
01:43:41,716 --> 01:43:43,423
They hate that I wanna be
an actor.
2109
01:43:43,509 --> 01:43:45,876
I don't know if they'll ever
be proud of me.
2110
01:43:46,262 --> 01:43:47,343
Taylor Metternich. "
2111
01:43:47,763 --> 01:43:48,628
Wow.
2112
01:43:49,432 --> 01:43:50,638
You're a trendsetter, Spier.
2113
01:43:51,684 --> 01:43:53,516
Now, come on, get in the car.
We need to go.
2114
01:44:03,946 --> 01:44:05,528
- Good morning!
- Ah, there he is!
2115
01:44:05,781 --> 01:44:07,397
Morning, Simon.
Top of the morning, kid.
2116
01:44:07,700 --> 01:44:08,565
What's this?
2117
01:44:09,076 --> 01:44:10,862
Nora's specialty.
Mm, coconut?
2118
01:44:10,953 --> 01:44:12,239
Yeah.
You look good.
2119
01:44:12,705 --> 01:44:14,116
Have a good day, honey.
You too.
2120
01:44:14,206 --> 01:44:15,617
Is it good?
It's delicious.
2121
01:44:15,916 --> 01:44:17,532
I'll see you guys.
What, you're not gonna eat?
2122
01:44:17,710 --> 01:44:18,575
Bye, Simon.
2123
01:44:18,669 --> 01:44:22,287
("Wild Heart" playing)
2124
01:44:31,891 --> 01:44:33,052
Mornin'.
Hey, buddy.
2125
01:44:41,901 --> 01:44:42,766
Good morning.
Hey!
2126
01:44:42,943 --> 01:44:43,899
How you doin', Leah?
2127
01:44:43,986 --> 01:44:45,317
Pretty good. Pretty good.
2128
01:44:56,916 --> 01:44:57,826
Hey!
2129
01:45:05,299 --> 01:45:06,164
Hey-
2130
01:45:10,721 --> 01:45:11,961
Morning.
Morning.
2131
01:45:15,559 --> 01:45:16,594
Everybody in?
2132
01:45:16,685 --> 01:45:17,550
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
2133
01:45:17,645 --> 01:45:18,851
All right, it's too beautiful
a day,
2134
01:45:18,979 --> 01:45:20,936
so I think I'm gonna actually
take us on a little adventure.
2135
01:45:21,398 --> 01:45:22,559
Yes!
Woo!
2136
01:45:22,650 --> 01:45:24,015
That's exactly what I need!
2137
01:45:24,109 --> 01:45:25,065
NICK: Yeah, adventure!
2138
01:47:47,920 --> 01:47:54,883
(instrumental music playing)
152694
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