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1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,671
♪ la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la ♪
2
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,206
[ cackling ]
3
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,108
♪ la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la ♪
4
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:10,743
[ squawking and squeaking ]
5
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,612
♪ la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la ♪
6
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,581
[ snorting ] ♪ la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la ♪
7
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,116
[ cackling ]
8
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,751
♪ la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la ♪
9
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:20,886
[ squawks ]
10
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,921
aah!
Ugh!
11
00:00:22,957 --> 00:00:24,189
[ groans ]
12
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:28,260
[ thunder rumbles ]
13
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:32,264
aaaah!
14
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:35,534
These ass termites
are killing me!
15
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,136
Oh, make it stop!
16
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,537
Don't worry, woodsman.
17
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:41,774
I just need to do
one more dust run for grandma,
18
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,810
and she's promised to give us
that super expensive,
19
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,945
life-saving ass cream.
20
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,380
Grandma?
21
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:52,351
You mean the biggest dust lord
in all of villardia?
22
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,254
You made a deal
with that psychopath?
23
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,189
You know this is the only way
24
00:00:57,224 --> 00:01:00,025
we can get the medicine
that you need.
25
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:08,901
♪
26
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:12,971
oh, no, this is too obvious.
27
00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:14,339
♪
28
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,742
haven't worn this thing
in forever.
29
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,812
♪
30
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:21,547
I guess it'll work.
31
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:22,614
Aaah!
32
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,883
Just hold on a little longer,
old buddy.
33
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,218
I'll be back in a jiff
34
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,520
with that super-powered
medicinal cream
35
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:31,557
that's going to get your ass
back up on his feet
36
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,858
in no time.
37
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:37,162
♪
38
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,765
[ growling ]
39
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:45,704
♪
40
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,407
[ glass shattering ]
41
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,908
okay.
42
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,543
You guys are good to go.
43
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:55,114
♪
44
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:56,782
[ growling ]
45
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,485
oh, wait.
One second.
46
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,887
[ grunts ]
[ screaming ]
47
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,789
[ sniffs ]
48
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,658
what do we have here?
49
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,794
Bootleg blu-rays.
50
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,863
You're going to jail...
51
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,565
Forever!
52
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,534
All right. Next.
53
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,536
♪
54
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:20,939
[ growling ]
55
00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:23,775
♪
56
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,644
what's in the basket?
57
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:29,281
Just some wasabi peas,
some ghost-pepper chips,
58
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,284
and some candy-cane joe-joes.
59
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,754
Mind if I pat you down?
60
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,523
Go for it.
61
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,558
♪
62
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,759
ooh!
63
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,628
[ growling ]
64
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,564
officer bad wolf,
may I speak with you
65
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:49,368
for a moment
in my office, please?
66
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:50,769
What's up, sarge?
67
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,505
You're going to
let that girl go.
68
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:54,506
Let her go?
69
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,241
She's carrying dust.
I know it.
70
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,277
That girl is small potatoes.
71
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,513
We're after the big potatoes --
72
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:04,249
grandma sicario-hernandez,
73
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:07,186
the top fairy-dust lord
in villardia.
74
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:10,022
We've been trying to get her
for the past 15 years.
75
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,757
We just haven't had
the evidence,
76
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,326
but with your help,
we're going to get her.
77
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,228
What do I have to do?
78
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,630
One -- beat the target
to grandma's house.
79
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,732
Two -- subdue
and secure grandma.
80
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:23,735
Three -- assume the role
of grandma.
81
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,738
Four -- wait for the target
to arrive with the evidence.
82
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:29,107
Five -- once you have
the evidence in hand,
83
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:31,310
make the arrests
and call in the calvary.
84
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,445
If we catch her with this,
85
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,782
she'll die in prison...
Of old age.
86
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,283
Aye-aye, sir.
87
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:41,687
Ha. Hoom.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
88
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,155
Okay.
89
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,423
You're good to go.
90
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,226
Enjoy your stay in villardia.
91
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,695
Really?
Well, thank you.
92
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:50,896
Bye.
93
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,699
See you at grandma's, bitch.
94
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,234
♪
95
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:57,769
finally, grandma's house.
96
00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,939
I'll be back home
smearing life-saving ass cream
97
00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:02,975
on the woodsman by dusk.
98
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:09,181
♪
99
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,817
[ high-pitched voice ]
come in.
100
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,453
♪
101
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,955
granny, I got the package.
102
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:19,091
Where do you want me to put --
103
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,826
what are you doing in bed?
104
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:24,429
I, uh, uh, got the squirts
from, uh,
105
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:27,633
drinking too much nasty juice.
106
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,568
Uh, okay.
107
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,671
Hey, what's with that hair
on your hands?
108
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:36,808
Oh, uh, I guess there's just
a lot of testosterone pumping
109
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:40,812
from all that
dangerous dust dealing I do.
110
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,881
[ chuckles ] all right.
Enough chit-chat.
111
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,817
How about you unload
that merch already?
112
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,219
♪
113
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:52,491
[ gagging ]
114
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:55,427
there you go.
Now, where's my ass cream?
115
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,895
Bad wolf: A-ha!
116
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,196
Border patrol.
117
00:04:58,232 --> 00:05:00,465
You're under arrest
for the possession
118
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:05,704
and transportation of
illegal dust over state lines.
119
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,172
Boom, bitch.
120
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,640
But what about the woodsman?
121
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:11,343
He's going to die
without his ass medicine.
122
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,712
Eff the woodsman, and eff you!
123
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:17,549
You should've thought about that
before you broke the law.
124
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,084
You hear that, grandma?
125
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,352
You're going to prison.
126
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:21,820
[ muffled ]
help me.
127
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:25,424
Breaker, breaker, this is
baby eagle calling mama eagle.
128
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,959
The goose has laid
the golden egg.
129
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,661
♪
130
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,731
mama eagle, do you read me?
131
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,800
Let me go!
132
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,302
I need to save the woodsman!
133
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,503
[ grunts ]
ugh!
134
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:41,206
[ laughs ]
[ gasps ]
135
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,041
sarge:
Loud and clear, baby eagle.
136
00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:45,010
You made your mama proud.
137
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,211
Calvary is on its way.
138
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:48,547
We are five minutes -- ah!
139
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:51,917
You should've just given me
the ass cream.
140
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,218
[ grunts ] stop!
141
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,686
I'll give you anything you want!
142
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:57,356
Slide over the keys
to the handcuffs.
143
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,624
[ groans ]
144
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:02,761
♪
145
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,162
[ groans ]
146
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,131
[ gasps ]
147
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,632
what's going on?
148
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:10,702
This man -- he came into
my house and he tied me up
149
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,637
and he put me
in this rubbermaid.
150
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:15,173
I'm just a sweet little grandma.
151
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,442
Cut the grandma shit, grandma.
152
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,944
I brought the dust.
153
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,713
Now give me the cream.
154
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:26,518
You led the pigs right to me,
you little fool!
155
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,754
I ain't giving you shit!
156
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:32,124
Oh, yeah?
We'll see about that.
157
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:34,359
[ groans ]
158
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,027
it's under my wig.
159
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,097
[ grunts ]
160
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:41,233
ha.
161
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,101
[ gun cocks ]
aah!
162
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,804
Get the hell out of here.
163
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,038
Oh!
164
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,440
Really?
165
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:49,641
You heard me.
166
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,977
Get the **** out of here!
167
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:55,113
♪
168
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:56,515
letting me go
169
00:06:56,550 --> 00:07:00,886
was the biggest mistake
of your life, you honky!
170
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,622
[ spits, laughs ]
171
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,757
♪
172
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,126
it's grandma.
She's trying to escape!
173
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,295
[ gunshots ]
174
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:13,632
oh, shit!
175
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,534
We've got you surrounded.
176
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,369
Come out with your hands
in the air.
177
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,704
Don't shoot!
She's got me cuffed!
178
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,673
She's crazy!
179
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,842
Aa!
180
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,410
Here are my demands!
181
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:29,281
Bring me the woodsman,
$100,000, and a chopper,
182
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,350
and if I don't get it,
I'm going to start cutting off
183
00:07:32,386 --> 00:07:35,754
chunks of the wolf
every five minutes!
184
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,690
Huh, sounds to me
like she's bluffing, boys.
185
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:39,891
Aah!
186
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,059
Aah!
187
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:44,095
Jesus christ.
Get her whatever she wants.
188
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,199
[ groans ]
189
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,234
you think you're pretty tough.
190
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,336
I was in iraq.
191
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,271
Congratulations.
192
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,408
I don't give a shit!
193
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,710
Ah, the chopper is here.
194
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:08,487
♪
195
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:12,891
red, it is I, the woodsman.
196
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,193
Let me in.
197
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:19,297
♪
198
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,167
you did this all for me?
199
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,102
Bend over.
200
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,905
♪
201
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,040
ohh.
202
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:32,511
Ah! Ah! Ah.
203
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:36,314
[ grunts ]
204
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:39,885
♪
205
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,955
ahh!
206
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,323
Thank you.
207
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,226
You've given me a second chance.
208
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,427
Aww.
209
00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:51,296
I love --
210
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:54,399
[ grunts ]
211
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:55,767
no!
212
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,169
I learned that in baghdad,
bitch.
213
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,205
I bet you give a shit now.
214
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,406
[ laughs ]
215
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,842
you son of a bitch!
216
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,844
You men,
secure the north perimeter.
217
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:09,247
[ gunshots ] whoa!
Shots fired! Light it up!
218
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:13,885
[ gunshots ]
219
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:16,988
cease fire!
Cease fire!
220
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,256
Everybody, move in!
221
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:20,892
Use caution!
222
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,994
[ all grunting ]
223
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,162
dear god.
224
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:27,399
Her face looks like
a bowl of pasta fagioli.
225
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:30,435
Sir, it's the woodsman.
226
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,304
He ate a knife.
227
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:35,206
They got wolfie.
He's dead.
228
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:38,109
♪
229
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:41,112
he was a decorated
iraq war veteran
230
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:44,149
and a hell
of a border patrol cop.
231
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,284
[ coughs ]
232
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,220
he's still alive.
Get him to the chopper now.
233
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,022
[ groaning ]
234
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,725
now, where's that little bitch
red riding hood?
235
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,694
There's no way
she got out of here.
236
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,562
Sarge, we've looked everywhere.
237
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,064
She ain't here.
238
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,099
Ah, don't give me that
half-assed rookie bullshit.
239
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,400
She is still here.
240
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:03,935
Turn this place inside out.
241
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,237
Now go, go, go!
[ all grunting ]
242
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:15,180
♪
243
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:18,083
nya, what's up, doc?
244
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,818
[ gunshot ]
245
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,419
what's going on back there?
246
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,154
[ grunts ]
aah!
247
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:26,224
♪
248
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,692
wait.
249
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,361
You hear that?
250
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:33,031
The chopper -- it's coming back.
251
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,567
She must have been inside his...
252
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:38,570
Ass termites!
253
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,171
♪
254
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:44,576
[ explosion ]
255
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:48,313
[ smooching ]
256
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,848
♪
257
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:53,418
♪ la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la ♪
258
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:57,055
♪ la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la ♪
259
00:10:57,090 --> 00:11:00,825
♪ la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la ♪
260
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:05,130
♪ la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la ♪
261
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,168
[ cackling ]
262
00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:14,768
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