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Hm.
4
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:11,088
- Arsenio Hall!
- Woo! Woo! Woo!
5
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:19,430
Team Two take the prison.
We get the villa.
6
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:47,124
Little Sister, this is Big Brother,
we are in the ballpark.
7
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,766
Big Brother,
Little Sister. We're at the prison.
8
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:07,622
Little Sister, Big Brother.
Are you in position?
9
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:12,209
Big Brother, Little Sister,
affirmative. Attack in 30.
10
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,128
Starting now.
11
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,556
Hm!
12
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:34,565
Ooh! Ooh!
13
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,239
Ah, ah. Ooh.
14
00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,090
Six...
15
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:04,762
...five, four, three, two...
16
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:08,933
It's an ambush!
17
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,606
Alka-Seltzer!
18
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,109
Whoa!
19
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:19,777
Ahh!
20
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:24,198
Big Brother!
Harbinger, where are you?
21
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,829
Ahh!
22
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,625
Ahh! Ah! Ah!
23
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,797
Ah! Oh!
24
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:46,470
Surrender, Yankee
infidels! You have no chance.
25
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,640
Off to prison, American Satans.
26
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:16,792
Americans were shocked
by the announcement of the failure
27
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:20,629
of yet another mission to
rescue hostages from the Middle East.
28
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:24,842
Informed sources reveal that the
rescue team itself has been captured
29
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,344
and added to those
already being held.
30
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,347
Reports also indicate that
an attempt on the life
31
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:34,351
of a terrorist dictator
was thwarted at the same time.
32
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:39,273
With the election 10 days away, it
may be a setback for the White House.
33
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,818
Presidential challenger
Senator Gray Edwards
34
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,321
commented on the failed mission.
35
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,698
This is no time for partisan politics.
36
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,910
Bringing our people home
should be our priority.
37
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:55,623
Despite this crisis, the president
put on his best political face
38
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,875
continuing on his campaign schedule.
39
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,878
Benson's 20-point lead
in the poll six months ago
40
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:04,340
has plummeted since
the hostage crisis began.
41
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,842
The CNN/Victoria's Secret
catalog poll
42
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:10,179
has the president
and Edwards running neck and neck.
43
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,974
Today, Benson made a brief stop
in Fergus Falls, Virginia
44
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,144
- for a groundbreaking of a library.
- You took my baby!
45
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,647
The five living
former chief executives
46
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:23,567
Presidents Bush, Reagan,
Carter, Ford and Nixon
47
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,362
were on hand for
the groundbreaking ceremony.
48
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,990
Correspondent Jeri Kelter
reports on this historic moment.
49
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:33,744
The library is to be built near
the Fergus Falls Civic Center.
50
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,331
- President Benson made no statements.
- Oh! My knee!
51
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:41,919
Publicly, he seemed unaware of
the political blow he had been dealt.
52
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:47,049
Privately, aides marveled at his spirit
as he performed his morning routine
53
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:49,093
by milking the White House goats
54
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,429
and eating two helpings
of grapefruit and creamed corn.
55
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:57,935
Tonight, the president and his top
advisers will burn the midnight oil.
56
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,020
Sabotage.
57
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,606
My God, man, what does it mean?
58
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:05,943
We must tighten security, sir.
Find out who's behind it.
59
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:09,572
No, no, no. The word "sabotage."
What does it mean?
60
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,949
Someone's subverting our mission, sir.
61
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,410
One of our own may be
aiding the enemy.
62
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,328
Come in!
63
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,582
Mr. President.
64
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:23,711
Oh, Jesus! Don't you ever sneak up
on me like that again.
65
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:24,962
What is it, Bob?
66
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,132
If Edwards hears of this,
he'll use it against you.
67
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:32,136
- He'll try to prove you're incompetent.
- I can prove that too.
68
00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:35,306
Mr. President, the CIA can't
afford another failure.
69
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,058
We'll send Colonel Walters
to get our people.
70
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,603
To ensure success,
we need Topper Harley.
71
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,938
We've located him in the Far East.
72
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,149
Topper Harley.
73
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,737
We've served together before, sir.
There's no one better.
74
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,824
- Cookie?
- Not me, sir.
75
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,285
- Young lady?
- No, thank you.
76
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,330
No, no, I was just
offering him a young lady.
77
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,292
Oh, yeah, Topper Harley.
78
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,253
Good. I love the boy.
Kid's got guts.
79
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,757
There isn't a fighting man
on this planet that can...
80
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,177
Gotcha!
Listening at the door, huh?
81
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,222
Well, Walters, looks like
we've got our saboteur.
82
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,723
That's your wife, sir.
83
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,269
Huh! Yeah, so it is.
84
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:27,483
Lavinia. You're looking
as lovely as the day we met.
85
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,236
Find out what she knows.
86
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:33,155
As for you, get me Topper Harley.
87
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:29,920
Hm?
88
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:19,219
Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears!
Sprinkles, sprinkles!
89
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:23,223
Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears!
Sprinkles, sprinkles...
90
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,025
You fight!
91
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,839
Aisle 5, mezzanine, to your left.
92
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,634
Get your program right here. Program!
93
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,344
One pig snout sandwich.
94
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:39,049
Both fighters are showing
signs of fatigue.
95
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,885
They aren't moving
around the ring as much.
96
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,763
Hey, this is where
your conditioning pays off.
97
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,090
Coochie-coochie-coo. Coochie-goo.
98
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,442
You win!
99
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:47,993
Topper, Topper, Topper, Topper...
100
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,703
Topper Harley!
101
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,628
Mmm.
102
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,447
Topper.
103
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,492
I don't believe it.
104
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,996
- Topper.
- Colonel.
105
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:36,750
- Good to see you again.
- Yeah, you too.
106
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,752
You want to tell me about it?
107
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,172
Well, they let me live here.
108
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,675
I help out fixing things.
109
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:47,594
It's peaceful. Quiet.
110
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,016
No one is allowed to talk.
111
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,436
And that dim sum fighting
in the warehouse yesterday?
112
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,605
I do that for the extra money.
113
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:02,067
And to satisfy my male cravings
to kill and win.
114
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,320
Colonel, who are they?
115
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,948
She's CIA.
116
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,117
- The other man's an extra.
- Ah.
117
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,244
What does she do?
118
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,830
Heads up Middle East
covert operations.
119
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,748
Reports directly to Benson.
120
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:20,210
Colonel, these men have taken
a supreme vow of celibacy.
121
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,088
Like their fathers and grandfathers.
122
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:25,507
They haven't seen a woman in decades.
123
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,217
Miss Huddleston!
124
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,845
Ow! Ow! Ow!
125
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,556
This is Michelle Huddleston.
126
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:33,890
Topper Harley.
127
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,142
Pleasure.
128
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,228
- You're not easy to find.
- Why are you keeping track?
129
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,938
It's like the colonel says:
130
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,399
Good men are hard to find.
131
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,736
I don't know what you know
about the last war,
132
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,405
but some of our men
were missing in action.
133
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,742
On two occasions we sent in
squads to rescue those men.
134
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,076
Both squads failed.
135
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:57,122
We must get the men who went to
get the men who went to get the men.
136
00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:00,917
- I'm here to make sure we succeed.
- What's this got to do with me?
137
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,377
I'm going this time.
138
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:06,256
- We want you to go with him.
- Why me, ma'am?
139
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,216
Because you're the best
of what's left.
140
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,928
My war is over.
141
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,103
Mmm... Ah!
142
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,316
It's a few extra dollars now.
143
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,319
But you'll make that back
on your heating bill.
144
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,947
We're gonna caulk the ashram
if you want to stop by.
145
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,449
Thanks, Bob.
146
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,956
This mission's important.
We've got to take care of our people.
147
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,833
Come with me.
148
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,673
When are you gonna
put Ramada behind you?
149
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,468
- What are you saying?
- You say your war is over.
150
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,681
Maybe the one out there is,
but not the one inside you.
151
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,975
You running from the pain
won't solve anything.
152
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:02,312
Because wherever you go,
you take the pain with you.
153
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,357
You've come an awful
long way to lecture me.
154
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,818
You were hurt
when that woman left.
155
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,862
You're using that to hide
from who you really are.
156
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,532
- That was a long time ago.
- Thank you. Next!
157
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,158
I don't want it.
158
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,703
Nice butt.
159
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,707
Topper, let me tell you
a little story.
160
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,376
It seems there were three bears.
161
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,921
One day when their porridge was
too hot, they took a walk.
162
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:31,091
A little blond girl
skipped through the woods
163
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:34,386
and she ate their porridge
and sat in their chairs
164
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,179
and slept in their beds.
165
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:39,850
And when those bears returned
and discovered that mess...
166
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:43,103
- Do you know what happened then?
- No.
167
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:46,690
That little blond girl got scared.
168
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,025
Ran away.
169
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:53,029
So, what you're saying is,
that little blond girl is me.
170
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,616
So I should color my hair...
171
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:59,870
Topper, they didn't make you this
fighting machine.
172
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:03,540
They just cooked up the porridge
and went for a walk.
173
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,877
You won't stop running
until you face your three bears.
174
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,546
Ramada.
175
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,091
Colonel.
176
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,051
I'm sorry.
177
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,095
It has to end for me sometime.
178
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,389
If you should change your mind
179
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,141
here's my 900 number.
180
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:24,436
It's $5.00 a minute.
I'll waive the charges.
181
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,236
...your three bears.
182
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:36,948
Ramada. Ramada. Ramada.
183
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:05,101
If our lips should meet
Inamorata
184
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,604
Don Corleone.
185
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:12,484
Kiss me, kiss me sweet
Inamorata
186
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:19,407
Hold me close
And say goodnight
187
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:26,790
With a love
As warm as wine
188
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:34,381
I'm at heaven's door
Inamorata
189
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:41,179
Want you more and more
Inamorata
190
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,559
You're a symphony
191
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:51,147
A very beautiful sonata
My inamorata
192
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:57,320
Say that you're my sweetheart
My love
193
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,437
You're a symphony
194
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:35,984
A very beautiful sonata
My inamorata
195
00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:42,490
Say that you're my sweetheart
My love
196
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,747
Hey, what's wrong, kid?
197
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,751
I love you so much.
198
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:56,922
But it's such a crazy world.
I don't want anything to happen to us.
199
00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:58,423
Don't worry.
200
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,718
In a few days,
we'll be on the train to Hawaii.
201
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:05,555
We'll find a minister to marry us,
and we'll never be apart.
202
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:08,391
But if something should keep us apart?
203
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:12,062
If one of us can't make it
to Blenheim Train Station?
204
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,813
Like, for instance,
205
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,900
if something came up unexpectedly.
206
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:21,112
Not that I think it would.
Or it already has.
207
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:25,075
Wherever I'll be,
I want you to know that...
208
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:33,416
Kiss me.
209
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,920
Kiss me like you've
never kissed me before.
210
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:58,608
You will denounce the criminal acts
against our people by your president.
211
00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:02,153
Sign here.
Initial here, here, and here.
212
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:13,790
Phil!
213
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,641
Sign the document.
214
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:02,547
I see you're no stranger to pain.
215
00:23:02,757 --> 00:23:03,840
I've been married.
216
00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:07,844
- Twice.
- Oy!
217
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:21,858
Like the previous six, this victim
was found folded neatly in half
218
00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:25,361
inside the glove compartment
of a sanitation truck.
219
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,447
Police are baffled.
220
00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:28,948
This just in.
221
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,535
Presidential military adviser
Colonel Denton Walters
222
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:36,706
has been captured during an
aborted attempt to free our hostages.
223
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:40,043
This tape was delivered
to us just moments ago.
224
00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:42,462
They are treating me good here.
225
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,882
The food is tasty and nourishing.
226
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,551
The peaceful leader
of this country
227
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:51,304
has asked me to appeal
to you, Mr. President
228
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:56,059
to stop your vicious, imperialistic
tactics around the globe.
229
00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:14,661
Ladies and gentlemen,
please give a warm welcome
230
00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:17,664
to His Excellency,
the Prime Minister of Japan
231
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:21,251
Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto.
232
00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:28,758
The president of the United States,
Thomas Benson.
233
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:34,180
Mr. President, this is Prime Minister
Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto.
234
00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:37,183
President Benson,
where's your first lady?
235
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:41,479
I don't know. I've had lots of women.
Lost my flower at the age of 15.
236
00:24:41,689 --> 00:24:43,022
I can't keep track.
237
00:24:43,274 --> 00:24:45,608
Let's get this over with.
I feel ill.
238
00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:49,195
My intestines were removed during
action in the North Atlantic.
239
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:53,867
Took a torpedo in the gut.
My bowels were replaced with hemp.
240
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:57,036
- Clogs easily.
- I hope you feel better.
241
00:24:57,288 --> 00:24:59,205
Well, my lips to yours.
242
00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:12,802
The junior senator
from Minnesota, Gray Edwards.
243
00:25:13,304 --> 00:25:16,306
President Benson,
Prime Minister Soto,
244
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:18,141
ladies and gentlemen.
245
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:21,477
Tonight we put election politics
aside as I join you
246
00:25:21,687 --> 00:25:26,357
as majority whip and chairman
of the Foreign Affairs Committee
247
00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:29,068
in welcoming the
Japanese prime minister
248
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:33,072
and his lovely wife
to these United States.
249
00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:36,826
Our two great nations have begun...
250
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:39,704
...what we hope will be a long
and successful dialogue.
251
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:42,498
Ptooh!
252
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,585
- Not only...
- I don't remember eating that.
253
00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:48,838
I feel better now.
It's that raw fish odor.
254
00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:50,048
It makes...
255
00:25:50,257 --> 00:25:51,758
Oh, God.
256
00:25:58,766 --> 00:26:02,018
Look at that! Those my teeth?
257
00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:05,021
Only to continue
in the highest spirit...
258
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,815
Yeah. They're filthy!
259
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:11,194
And so I would like
to propose a toast.
260
00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:14,864
- Oh, thank you, Yoko.
- I'll take that, sir.
261
00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:16,783
To world peace.
262
00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:19,535
To a clean environment.
263
00:26:20,371 --> 00:26:24,540
To harmony with our planet
and world prosperity.
264
00:26:28,879 --> 00:26:30,380
Thank you.
265
00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:36,386
Looking for a place
to sit, lieutenant?
266
00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:40,390
I must talk to the president.
Can you arrange that?
267
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:44,102
- You'd be amazed what I can do.
- It's my fault they got Walters.
268
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:45,561
I want to go in.
269
00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:48,731
You showed up just in time.
We leave in the morning.
270
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:53,444
I'm taking charge of this mission.
You mind working under a woman?
271
00:26:53,654 --> 00:26:57,282
And now, the president of
the United States, Thomas Benson.
272
00:27:01,996 --> 00:27:04,580
Prime Minister Tojo,
Senator Edwards,
273
00:27:04,832 --> 00:27:08,960
my fellow Americans
and our millions of illegal aliens.
274
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:12,463
It seems like only yesterday
I was strafing your homes.
275
00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:16,259
Here I am today, begging you
not to make such good cars.
276
00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,594
Excuse me.
I need a glass of water.
277
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:21,431
Damn tongue's dry.
It's not mine, you know.
278
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,434
Lost mine in Laos.
Little commie lopped it off.
279
00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:28,771
It's probably a doorstop somewhere.
Got this one from a basset hound.
280
00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:33,109
Get the car.
281
00:27:34,445 --> 00:27:35,987
President Benson.
282
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:38,698
No, you're not.
283
00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:41,200
I've seen him.
He's older, about my height.
284
00:27:41,452 --> 00:27:43,536
Sir, this is Topper Harley.
285
00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:46,622
Topper. Yes, of course.
Son I never had.
286
00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:49,834
Well, no damn wonder
I didn't recognize you then.
287
00:27:50,044 --> 00:27:53,338
Word of advice,
don't call yourself the president.
288
00:27:53,547 --> 00:27:56,883
I wouldn't, neither should you.
It doesn't hold water.
289
00:27:57,134 --> 00:28:01,304
For that matter, neither do I. Let's
get away from these power cables.
290
00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:06,142
- I'd like to join the next mission.
- God bless you, boy.
291
00:28:06,352 --> 00:28:07,643
This one's on the QT.
292
00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:11,314
It's called "Secret Mission to
Get Walters and Our Boys Back."
293
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:15,151
When you come back, I'm gonna
throw you wonderful guys a party.
294
00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:17,820
And there should be plenty to eat.
295
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:20,656
I doubt more than half
of you will return.
296
00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:26,913
Thank you.
297
00:28:28,165 --> 00:28:30,166
Got a light, lieutenant?
298
00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:32,168
I quit smoking.
299
00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:34,670
Besides, I don't think
it's allowed here.
300
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,007
What are they gonna do,
arrest me for smoking?
301
00:28:48,852 --> 00:28:53,689
- I know what to get you for Christmas.
- A Thighmaster? I've broken three.
302
00:28:53,899 --> 00:28:54,941
Really?
303
00:28:55,192 --> 00:28:58,403
Let's go to my apartment
and discuss our mission.
304
00:28:58,612 --> 00:29:00,405
I'm putty in your hands.
305
00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:03,866
In my hands, nothing turns to putty.
306
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:30,893
Hmm.
307
00:30:09,892 --> 00:30:10,933
Hm?
308
00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:30,453
Ah. Ah.
309
00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:52,141
Oh.
310
00:32:35,829 --> 00:32:38,497
Yippee! Woo-hoo!
311
00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:44,337
Yippee-ki-yay! Woo!
312
00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:48,924
In an emotional address
at the state capitol
313
00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,344
Nebraska Governor, Paul Burmaster,
314
00:32:51,595 --> 00:32:55,514
made a public apology
for his state being so flat.
315
00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:04,690
Where are you?
316
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,443
I don't know.
317
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:09,487
What's wrong?
318
00:33:10,447 --> 00:33:12,031
My arm's asleep.
319
00:33:12,282 --> 00:33:14,283
No, something else.
320
00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:17,203
My leg too.
321
00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:19,955
Please, you can tell me.
322
00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:22,708
Well...
323
00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:24,502
Topper.
324
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,630
I have to wee-wee.
325
00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:33,302
Look, I told myself last night
was just going to be last night.
326
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:39,308
I guess I just never counted on
finding a guy so deep, so sensitive.
327
00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:42,895
I've fallen for you, Topper.
328
00:33:43,146 --> 00:33:45,356
I've fallen for you big time.
329
00:33:51,697 --> 00:33:54,156
There's someone else, isn't there?
330
00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:57,493
I have no idea what you mean.
331
00:33:58,537 --> 00:34:00,079
Women sense these things.
332
00:34:00,330 --> 00:34:02,248
I said there's no one.
333
00:34:04,418 --> 00:34:05,835
I'm fine.
334
00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:09,338
I know about Ramada, Topper.
I read your dossier.
335
00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:11,841
She must be quite a woman.
336
00:34:13,844 --> 00:34:15,010
And what if she was?
337
00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:17,471
Was?
338
00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:26,272
Last call for Train 590 for
Glendale, San Francisco and Honolulu.
339
00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:30,025
Board! Board!
340
00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:36,449
I told you. Warned you twice.
341
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,539
Harley.
342
00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:46,459
- Topper Harley.
- Right here.
343
00:34:58,638 --> 00:35:01,140
I cannot go with you
or ever see you again.
344
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:03,976
Just believe that I love you.
345
00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:05,895
You must be brave, my darling.
346
00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:08,981
This card is printed
on recycled paper.
347
00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:44,266
Sergeant pick that up.
Someone could trip over it.
348
00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:56,362
Which one of you
is Michelle Huddleston?
349
00:35:57,322 --> 00:35:58,823
She is.
350
00:35:59,282 --> 00:36:02,284
I'm glad you're here.
The hostages are being moved.
351
00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,787
I'm Commander Armin Harbinger.
I'm in charge.
352
00:36:04,955 --> 00:36:07,122
Sorry, commander.
Presidential orders.
353
00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:08,874
We're in charge now.
354
00:36:10,544 --> 00:36:12,044
- Any questions?
- No, ma'am.
355
00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:18,133
Harley, I've been there.
356
00:36:18,343 --> 00:36:21,637
I've seen the enemy. If you're
not ready, you won't make it.
357
00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:23,722
I've fired a couple of guns.
358
00:36:25,141 --> 00:36:27,685
I'll assemble the men,
with your permission.
359
00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:37,570
Gentlemen, Ms. Huddleston, CIA,
and Lieutenant Topper Harley.
360
00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:39,405
We're working for them.
361
00:36:39,656 --> 00:36:43,659
Williams, com sync pac ram set
MOS 92-H tact op spec patty-wack.
362
00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:46,328
- Patty-wack?
- Give a dog a bone, sir.
363
00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:48,163
Of course.
364
00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:51,917
Rabinowitz, demolition. Can't wait
to blow something up for you.
365
00:36:52,168 --> 00:36:53,836
I look forward to it.
366
00:36:54,379 --> 00:36:58,507
Commander Harbinger advised me we
have 11 hours to free the prisoners.
367
00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:00,926
After that, we may lose them forever.
368
00:37:02,429 --> 00:37:04,680
This is the prison camp area.
369
00:37:04,890 --> 00:37:08,851
It's heavily guarded, but they won't
expect an attack from the jungle.
370
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:13,188
Your contact, code name Bench Press,
will lead you to the camp.
371
00:37:13,356 --> 00:37:15,608
I'll meet you at the rendezvous point.
372
00:37:15,859 --> 00:37:17,026
Good luck.
373
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:23,699
Topper!
374
00:37:26,786 --> 00:37:29,079
I know we haven't had
much time together
375
00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:33,709
but when you go into battle,
take something of mine with you.
376
00:37:39,215 --> 00:37:40,799
Your lucky mole.
377
00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:41,819
Topper, what are you reading?
378
00:38:42,112 --> 00:38:43,445
Great Expectations.
379
00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:46,949
- Is it any good?
- It's not all I hoped for.
380
00:38:48,034 --> 00:38:50,285
Know what I'm gonna do if we make it?
381
00:38:50,537 --> 00:38:55,040
I'm gonna go back to Eagle River
and marry my gal, Edith Mae.
382
00:38:55,875 --> 00:38:59,628
Gonna get us a nice little place
with a white picket fence.
383
00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:01,296
You know the kind.
384
00:39:01,798 --> 00:39:03,465
Two-car garage.
385
00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:05,884
Maybe a fishing boat.
386
00:39:06,136 --> 00:39:09,013
And in 15 years,
when they're all paid for,
387
00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:12,558
I'll set my charges
and blow the shit out of them.
388
00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:16,729
You got a girl, Topper?
389
00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:23,819
Penny to Sky King, no parents
in sight. Party is on.
390
00:39:24,988 --> 00:39:26,405
Green, green, green...
391
00:39:26,656 --> 00:39:27,990
Hook up.
392
00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:40,085
Geronimo!
393
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:44,048
Me!
394
00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:56,226
Ahh.
395
00:40:33,223 --> 00:40:34,723
Thanks, brothers.
396
00:41:36,870 --> 00:41:38,328
Jeez!
397
00:41:51,467 --> 00:41:52,968
Stop it!
398
00:41:59,392 --> 00:42:01,643
- Ramada.
- Topper.
399
00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:05,314
- What are you doing here?
- This is Bench Press, our contact.
400
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,566
- I didn't know.
- You know each other?
401
00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:10,027
Yes. Yes, we do.
402
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,154
It's been a long time.
403
00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:16,325
- Let's see, the last time we met...
- Was The Flurvian Sea.
404
00:42:17,577 --> 00:42:19,995
- You remember?
- I remember every detail.
405
00:42:20,163 --> 00:42:24,917
The sky was blue. You wore gray.
I was in chiffon.
406
00:42:25,168 --> 00:42:28,003
Topper, there's so much to say.
407
00:42:28,171 --> 00:42:30,214
You're as pretty
as when you dumped me.
408
00:42:30,423 --> 00:42:32,174
You've changed.
409
00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:36,929
That beauty mark.
410
00:42:39,515 --> 00:42:42,559
It was a... It's a gift.
411
00:42:43,186 --> 00:42:45,854
Very touching,
but it's no time to reminisce.
412
00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:50,067
We must be at the rendezvous point
in seven hours or we miss our pickup.
413
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,194
It's your show, hero.
414
00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:55,364
Let's move out.
415
00:42:56,699 --> 00:42:58,408
Follow me.
416
00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:10,921
We're late. I know a shortcut.
417
00:43:16,886 --> 00:43:18,887
- The meat's smoking.
- Shut up.
418
00:43:19,055 --> 00:43:21,932
- Let's take it off the grill.
- Leave me alone.
419
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:24,935
- Frank, you're drunk again.
- Whose fault is that?
420
00:43:30,066 --> 00:43:32,818
This is the best way
to the prison compound.
421
00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:35,779
They see many boats,
so they won't be suspicious.
422
00:43:35,989 --> 00:43:38,448
There are clothes in the wheelhouse.
423
00:43:40,118 --> 00:43:43,912
Somebody once wrote,
"Hell is the impossibility of reason."
424
00:43:44,664 --> 00:43:47,916
That's what this place
feels like. Hell.
425
00:43:48,084 --> 00:43:50,961
I hate it already,
and it's only been a few hours.
426
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:53,463
I'm so tired. We get up at 5:00...
427
00:43:53,673 --> 00:43:56,758
At first I thought
they'd handed me the wrong dossier.
428
00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,303
I couldn't believe
they wanted him dead.
429
00:43:59,512 --> 00:44:02,431
Third generation West Point.
Top of his class.
430
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,308
Korea, Airborne,
431
00:44:04,517 --> 00:44:08,478
about a thousand decorations,
et cetera, et cetera.
432
00:44:11,274 --> 00:44:13,775
I loved you in Wall Street!
433
00:44:29,625 --> 00:44:34,004
An enemy control boat has changed
course and is heading for our people.
434
00:44:34,213 --> 00:44:35,630
Send the alert.
435
00:44:37,467 --> 00:44:39,801
Hello, Lucky. Report my signal.
436
00:44:39,969 --> 00:44:41,511
Report my signal. Over.
437
00:44:41,721 --> 00:44:44,639
Hello, George Mike Walters.
Strength three. Over.
438
00:44:44,807 --> 00:44:48,810
Recon reports Indians
on the warpath in your area. Over.
439
00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,354
No Indians here. Over.
440
00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:54,149
Do not take literally.
Repeat. Do not take literally.
441
00:44:54,359 --> 00:44:57,027
The vultures are circling
the carcass. Repeat.
442
00:44:57,236 --> 00:44:59,738
The vultures are circling the carcass.
443
00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:01,823
I see a couple of gulls, but...
444
00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:05,160
Pit bull's out of the cage.
Crips are raiding the store.
445
00:45:06,996 --> 00:45:08,580
Hey, you yanking my crank?
446
00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:24,429
They see a woman, they will
know we are masquerading.
447
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,224
Only men are allowed
to do the fishing.
448
00:45:32,397 --> 00:45:34,022
Topper.
449
00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:36,525
Why did you have to come here now?
450
00:45:36,943 --> 00:45:39,694
Of all the missions
in all the jungles...
451
00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:43,031
...you had to walk into this one.
- I tried to stay away.
452
00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:46,952
I thought I'd never see you again,
that you were out of my life.
453
00:45:47,203 --> 00:45:49,204
But it's a sequel.
I had to come.
454
00:45:49,372 --> 00:45:51,581
Do you know what
the critics will say?
455
00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:54,918
- "Same warmed-over characters..."
- Topper, stop it.
456
00:45:55,128 --> 00:45:59,047
You're only using this whole
casting thing as an excuse
457
00:45:59,257 --> 00:46:00,882
to hide what's hurting you.
458
00:46:01,384 --> 00:46:04,636
Hurt? Maybe. Once.
459
00:46:05,763 --> 00:46:07,973
But I knew this day would come.
460
00:46:08,433 --> 00:46:10,642
I knew one day you'd
come crawling back
461
00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:14,396
begging for forgiveness.
Groveling, sniveling,
462
00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:17,149
pleading for another chance.
463
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:22,112
Sorry, sweetheart, but this all-day
sucker is down to the soggy stick.
464
00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:25,157
No, Topper, you don't understand.
465
00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:29,744
I'm married. I was married
before you and I ever met.
466
00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:31,496
I'm still married today.
467
00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:33,415
- You're joking.
- I'm not.
468
00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:36,418
- You've got to be.
- If I was joking I would say,
469
00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:40,589
"A horse walks into a bar. The
bartender says, 'Why the long face?"'
470
00:46:40,798 --> 00:46:42,591
You are married.
471
00:46:42,967 --> 00:46:45,927
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I thought he was dead.
472
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:49,347
He worked for the CIA,
training pilots in Germany.
473
00:46:49,599 --> 00:46:50,682
Highest security.
474
00:46:50,933 --> 00:46:53,351
They told me he died
over Villenshtoben.
475
00:46:53,603 --> 00:46:55,437
The day before we were to go
476
00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:58,857
I got word he was alive,
in a hospital in Berlin.
477
00:46:59,692 --> 00:47:01,359
I had to go to him.
478
00:47:01,611 --> 00:47:03,987
They ordered me not to tell anyone.
479
00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:09,284
- I know how you must feel.
- You do, huh?
480
00:47:09,619 --> 00:47:12,204
You know how it feels
to have your heart shot
481
00:47:12,455 --> 00:47:14,122
and tied to the hood of a car?
482
00:47:14,373 --> 00:47:16,875
To be passed like
a large kidney stone?
483
00:47:17,460 --> 00:47:19,002
Ramada,
484
00:47:19,295 --> 00:47:20,670
I don't think so.
485
00:47:23,966 --> 00:47:25,550
Patrol boat!
486
00:47:30,515 --> 00:47:34,351
Remember, we're not American.
These boys aren't stupid.
487
00:47:45,238 --> 00:47:46,530
Where's Harbinger?
488
00:47:46,739 --> 00:47:48,323
Shut off your engine.
489
00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:51,910
Shut off your engine.
We're boarding.
490
00:48:43,713 --> 00:48:44,713
Hm.
491
00:49:07,903 --> 00:49:10,280
Kareem of Onion! Al Jarreau!
492
00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:40,935
Go on! Get out of here!
493
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:46,316
Take that to the bank and cash it!
494
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,695
Swim for shore!
495
00:49:55,785 --> 00:49:57,160
Save yourselves!
496
00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:05,293
Swim for it! I'll catch up.
497
00:50:05,795 --> 00:50:06,961
Go!
498
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:39,828
Omar Sharif!
499
00:50:57,388 --> 00:51:01,266
Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
500
00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:16,531
Whoa!
501
00:51:23,789 --> 00:51:24,789
Topper?
502
00:51:29,211 --> 00:51:32,589
President Benson is
returning to Washington today
503
00:51:32,965 --> 00:51:35,800
to speak to the nation
in what experts are calling
504
00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:39,387
the pivotal address
of his political career.
505
00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:46,895
- How is the speech coming, sir?
- Hm?
506
00:51:47,563 --> 00:51:49,147
Oh, I'm practicing my A's.
507
00:51:49,398 --> 00:51:51,608
- This look like an A to you?
- Yes, sir.
508
00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:52,984
All right.
509
00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:56,446
What's that, Bill?
510
00:51:56,655 --> 00:51:59,908
We just received word from Michelle.
Harley is missing.
511
00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:02,577
- His boat has been demolished.
- Oh, damn it!
512
00:52:03,746 --> 00:52:05,747
Every time I give an order,
it gets screwed up!
513
00:52:05,956 --> 00:52:08,249
Plan a reception,
wrong hors d'oeuvres.
514
00:52:08,417 --> 00:52:11,336
Appoint an ambassador,
he leaves the country.
515
00:52:11,587 --> 00:52:13,338
Mr. President, we need a plan.
516
00:52:13,589 --> 00:52:16,674
This may be our last chance
to get the hostages out.
517
00:52:17,593 --> 00:52:18,802
All right.
518
00:52:19,094 --> 00:52:21,763
Here's where we are
and here is where they are.
519
00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:24,933
- Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.
- Oh, no time for prayer, Bob.
520
00:52:25,100 --> 00:52:27,769
- Here's the target area.
- That's Minnesota, sir.
521
00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:30,438
Damn it, man,
that's the genius of my plan.
522
00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:34,484
Why go over there to fight?
We can do it right here at home.
523
00:52:34,693 --> 00:52:38,446
- Sir, the enemy is over there.
- Then we'll fly them over here.
524
00:52:38,614 --> 00:52:41,324
Their families too.
We'll teach them to skate...
525
00:52:41,534 --> 00:52:44,786
- Do I have to think of everything?
- But the hostages!
526
00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:47,789
It is imperative that you act now!
527
00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:56,130
Topper?
528
00:52:58,592 --> 00:52:59,634
Whoooaaa.
529
00:53:06,809 --> 00:53:08,476
Topper! You made it!
530
00:53:12,857 --> 00:53:15,817
That's right, Cindy,
it's 23 minutes past the hour.
531
00:53:15,985 --> 00:53:20,029
And now here's the Buckinghams
with Kind of a Drag.
532
00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:28,204
You're bleeding.
533
00:53:28,664 --> 00:53:30,164
I'll be all right.
534
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:33,418
Something else
bothers me a lot more.
535
00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:38,423
Harbinger, where were you
when the patrol boat arrived?
536
00:53:38,841 --> 00:53:42,051
Below, sweeping the boat for bombs.
What are you accusing me of?
537
00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:46,180
Nothing, yet.
But I want you to know I smell a rat.
538
00:53:46,348 --> 00:53:49,267
Don't push me.
Before you bagged your first babe,
539
00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:52,562
I was slitting throats
for a living.
540
00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:57,859
I'm not saying I don't trust you,
and I'm not saying I do. But I don't.
541
00:53:58,068 --> 00:54:00,570
Save it for the enemy.
We got a job to do.
542
00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:10,955
Oh, look. I'm cut too.
543
00:54:11,206 --> 00:54:12,206
Oh.
544
00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:17,712
They got me too. It's a real gusher.
545
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,215
Let's get going.
546
00:54:50,955 --> 00:54:53,081
There's a guard at the gate.
547
00:54:53,457 --> 00:54:54,958
He's mine.
548
00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:56,834
Wait here.
549
00:54:58,462 --> 00:54:59,754
Topper.
550
00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:06,761
- Topper.
- Jesus!
551
00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:09,597
Before we go in,
you should know something.
552
00:55:09,848 --> 00:55:13,267
- What now?
- Have you heard of Dexter Hayman?
553
00:55:13,477 --> 00:55:14,978
The freedom fighter?
554
00:55:15,187 --> 00:55:19,357
Yeah, he won the Nobel Prize
for inventing the artificial appendix.
555
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:23,528
Exactly.
Dexter is one of the captives.
556
00:55:24,446 --> 00:55:27,115
- He's my husband.
- You've got to be joking.
557
00:55:27,324 --> 00:55:29,367
If I was joking, I would say,
558
00:55:29,618 --> 00:55:32,620
"A rabbi, a priest and a minister
walk into a bar..."
559
00:55:32,788 --> 00:55:34,330
Okay, he is your husband.
560
00:55:34,540 --> 00:55:37,375
Topper, I was so young,
just a schoolgirl.
561
00:55:37,626 --> 00:55:40,670
He was an older man,
so wise in the ways of the world.
562
00:55:41,005 --> 00:55:44,173
He used to come around
the schoolyard, day after day.
563
00:55:44,383 --> 00:55:46,884
I so admired his persistence.
564
00:55:47,136 --> 00:55:51,139
Even the restraining order my parents
slapped on him was no deterrent.
565
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:56,019
He opened my eyes to the arts,
music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania.
566
00:55:56,687 --> 00:55:59,230
His work has meant so much to so many.
567
00:55:59,648 --> 00:56:01,983
And I owe him everything, Topper.
568
00:56:02,234 --> 00:56:03,317
Everything.
569
00:56:03,485 --> 00:56:05,486
I'm happy for you, kid.
570
00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:09,407
But if you think you can hurt
me again, you're wrong.
571
00:56:09,825 --> 00:56:12,326
I left my heart in my other pants.
572
00:57:22,064 --> 00:57:23,231
Go.
573
00:57:34,159 --> 00:57:35,201
Oy!
574
00:57:40,290 --> 00:57:41,499
Ah!
575
00:57:43,252 --> 00:57:45,128
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
576
00:59:10,505 --> 00:59:11,547
Ah!
577
00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:28,522
Mm!
578
00:59:37,658 --> 00:59:39,408
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
579
00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:44,288
The Iraqi coast.
580
00:59:44,539 --> 00:59:47,250
Oh, those bluffs look treacherous.
581
00:59:48,752 --> 00:59:50,253
Hadn't counted on that.
582
00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:55,049
But if God is on our side, we will
rendezvous on Lincoln's wart by noon.
583
00:59:55,550 --> 00:59:57,134
That's it, men.
584
00:59:58,971 --> 01:00:00,471
We're going in!
585
01:00:02,891 --> 01:00:04,892
My rescue mission was underway.
586
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:07,937
But two things kept running
through my mind.
587
01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:10,147
Would we get to the men in time?
588
01:00:10,399 --> 01:00:12,900
And why did I bring helium
instead of air?
589
01:00:23,662 --> 01:00:25,246
I'll go to the rear.
590
01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:30,501
Take the front door.
591
01:01:00,157 --> 01:01:02,199
The keys.
592
01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:10,393
- What?
- Enough!
593
01:02:50,308 --> 01:02:51,392
I'll have a hamburger.
594
01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:04,905
- Where are the prisoners?
- There.
595
01:03:05,115 --> 01:03:07,950
- Let's go!
- I'll take the back gate.
596
01:03:18,253 --> 01:03:20,504
Now, that's a hell of a gun.
597
01:03:24,426 --> 01:03:27,761
- Where's Dexter Hayman?
- Villa compound 405.
598
01:03:38,023 --> 01:03:41,275
Okay. I'm here.
599
01:03:41,485 --> 01:03:43,194
"Terrorist Mountain."
600
01:03:43,445 --> 01:03:46,947
"It's a Small War."
"Pirates of the Persian Gulf."
601
01:03:47,157 --> 01:03:51,619
"Hostage Mover."
Ah! "Dexter's Dungeon."
602
01:04:06,134 --> 01:04:08,677
Harbinger, what are you doing here?
603
01:04:09,888 --> 01:04:13,474
I was right, wasn't I?
You sabotaged the other missions.
604
01:04:13,725 --> 01:04:16,393
- I find that unacceptable.
- You got me wrong.
605
01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:18,145
All these years,
606
01:04:19,147 --> 01:04:21,357
fighting, and shooting and killing.
607
01:04:21,650 --> 01:04:26,737
I just... I can't go on. I...
608
01:04:27,989 --> 01:04:32,660
Hey, hey, hey, rainy face!
Hey, proud warrior.
609
01:04:34,579 --> 01:04:38,707
Let the sun come out,
you big bad G.I. Joe.
610
01:04:40,168 --> 01:04:44,213
You know, kitten, we all have
permission to make mistakes.
611
01:04:45,507 --> 01:04:46,590
It's called "learning."
612
01:04:49,261 --> 01:04:53,055
You give your Uncle Topper
613
01:04:53,515 --> 01:04:55,349
a nice big blow.
614
01:05:18,123 --> 01:05:19,373
I'm done.
615
01:05:23,378 --> 01:05:24,962
Thattaboy.
616
01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:36,724
Thanks. I can kill again.
617
01:05:36,933 --> 01:05:39,226
- You've given me a reason to live.
- Good.
618
01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:42,563
Head for the gate. Plenty of bad guys
to shoot on the way.
619
01:05:52,657 --> 01:05:57,328
Keeps going,
and going, and going, and going.
620
01:05:57,579 --> 01:05:58,996
Nothing outlasts the...
621
01:05:59,623 --> 01:06:00,664
Oh!
622
01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:03,334
Yes!
623
01:06:56,471 --> 01:06:58,389
There's a copter pad half a mile away.
624
01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:02,267
- That's our ticket out.
- We can't leave. Not without Dexter.
625
01:07:04,312 --> 01:07:05,562
Topper! Watch out!
626
01:07:40,682 --> 01:07:44,184
For a moment there,
I thought you were...
627
01:07:44,394 --> 01:07:45,728
Gabriella Sabatini?
628
01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:51,024
I get that all the time.
It must be the nose.
629
01:07:51,317 --> 01:07:53,652
Ironically, I haven't picked up
a racket in years.
630
01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:56,280
You saved my life.
631
01:07:56,489 --> 01:08:01,452
Topper, no matter what happens,
I want you to know that
632
01:08:02,537 --> 01:08:04,496
I never stopped loving you.
633
01:08:06,791 --> 01:08:08,041
Let's move out!
634
01:08:09,669 --> 01:08:11,920
You know how to get to the copter pad.
635
01:08:12,172 --> 01:08:13,881
If I'm not there in 15,
you know what to do.
636
01:08:14,132 --> 01:08:18,343
- We get the hell out of here.
- No! Wait another 15 minutes.
637
01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:22,097
We could hear gunfire
from the compound.
638
01:08:22,307 --> 01:08:25,142
From out of nowhere,
a patrol boat appeared.
639
01:08:26,144 --> 01:08:29,188
How would we get past the soldiers
on that boat?
640
01:08:29,606 --> 01:08:33,150
Then, suddenly, it happened.
641
01:08:50,251 --> 01:08:51,710
Take cover!
642
01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:00,469
Guys.
643
01:09:02,347 --> 01:09:03,597
Jeez!
644
01:09:04,599 --> 01:09:05,641
That's it, good night.
645
01:09:19,489 --> 01:09:22,574
War. It's fantastic!
646
01:10:16,629 --> 01:10:17,880
Drop the gun!
647
01:10:20,466 --> 01:10:21,884
Drop it!
648
01:10:24,596 --> 01:10:29,641
You will die, Yankee bastard man.
How you say? Like a dog.
649
01:10:31,394 --> 01:10:32,644
Now march!
650
01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:36,773
March!
651
01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:45,866
I kill you where you stand,
you imperialist Yankee-Doodle dork.
652
01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:14,061
Slippery rascal!
653
01:11:24,322 --> 01:11:25,822
Butcher of Baghdad. Hello?
654
01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:30,369
Well, hello.
655
01:11:30,578 --> 01:11:31,620
Who is it? Who is it?
656
01:11:32,246 --> 01:11:36,917
- Your wife, Hillary Rodham Hussein.
- Jesus! I'm so stupid!
657
01:11:37,168 --> 01:11:39,086
I was supposed to pick her up.
658
01:11:39,295 --> 01:11:42,089
Tell her I'm at the gym.
No, I'm out of town.
659
01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:45,092
On business. Bombing,
gassing, execution.
660
01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:49,221
- Something. Make it up.
- I'm sorry. Just missed him.
661
01:11:50,431 --> 01:11:52,224
I owe you one.
662
01:12:03,027 --> 01:12:05,487
Ali MacGraw! My eyes.
663
01:12:09,909 --> 01:12:13,161
You little...!
I'm going to split you like a melon!
664
01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:19,209
Now I will kill you
until you die from it.
665
01:12:19,460 --> 01:12:20,794
In a pig's ear.
666
01:12:23,006 --> 01:12:25,465
- Mr. President!
- Suffering succotash!
667
01:12:25,717 --> 01:12:30,595
Looks like the upper hand is on
the other foot, Saddam.
668
01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:31,847
Ah-ha.
669
01:12:34,100 --> 01:12:35,642
Uh-oh!
670
01:12:36,019 --> 01:12:37,019
Yes!
671
01:12:40,023 --> 01:12:41,314
My skin's made of asbestos.
672
01:12:42,025 --> 01:12:44,276
Tanning parlor accident
at Dien Bien Phu.
673
01:12:44,485 --> 01:12:48,196
Go on about your business.
I got a bone to settle with this guy.
674
01:12:48,448 --> 01:12:50,407
Yes, sir. I'll get Dexter.
675
01:12:50,742 --> 01:12:52,617
Let's make this a fair fight.
676
01:12:58,291 --> 01:13:00,709
I've been waiting for you, O Big One.
677
01:13:00,918 --> 01:13:04,713
We meet at last.
The circle is complete.
678
01:13:04,922 --> 01:13:09,551
- Now I am the master!
- Only the master of evil, Saddam.
679
01:13:11,012 --> 01:13:13,013
Your powers are...
680
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,438
Your powers are weak.
You shouldn't have come.
681
01:13:21,647 --> 01:13:25,108
Well, I have.
We'll settle this the old Navy way.
682
01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:28,028
First guy to die, loses!
683
01:13:37,622 --> 01:13:42,751
Water. Water! Water, please.
684
01:13:44,045 --> 01:13:46,004
- It's locked. From the inside.
- No!
685
01:13:46,255 --> 01:13:48,340
- Damn it!
- We're gonna die!
686
01:13:48,591 --> 01:13:50,175
- Get ahold of yourself!
- Blow it!
687
01:13:50,426 --> 01:13:52,803
- It's not our property.
- Do it. Do it!
688
01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:55,889
Oh, Mr. Geppetto!
689
01:13:58,893 --> 01:14:02,229
Go ahead. Shoot.
You'll get nothing from me.
690
01:14:02,480 --> 01:14:05,982
You are filth.
I spit in the face of filth.
691
01:14:06,234 --> 01:14:09,528
- I've come to get you out of here.
- You're American.
692
01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:12,697
Yes, from America. Let's go.
693
01:14:12,907 --> 01:14:16,827
My friend, I yearn for freedom
as much as anyone
694
01:14:17,036 --> 01:14:19,204
but I run from no man.
695
01:14:19,413 --> 01:14:20,747
You've got to come with me.
696
01:14:21,582 --> 01:14:23,917
I can't walk.
697
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:27,129
They've tied my shoelaces together.
698
01:14:29,382 --> 01:14:30,632
A knot.
699
01:14:33,344 --> 01:14:34,594
Bastards.
700
01:14:43,938 --> 01:14:48,108
I'm aborting the mission.
Envelope is closed. We're lifting off.
701
01:14:50,486 --> 01:14:52,696
Here you go. It's $4.50.
702
01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:55,407
I didn't think you'd make it.
703
01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:57,534
Onboard. We're getting out.
704
01:14:57,785 --> 01:15:00,620
What about the others?
We just can't leave them.
705
01:15:18,848 --> 01:15:23,977
Wait! I can't go any further.
I need a drink.
706
01:15:30,193 --> 01:15:32,736
Okay. Right a bit.
Whoa, stop there.
707
01:15:32,945 --> 01:15:38,283
Down a bit, down a bit. There.
It's not very cold. Is this filtered?
708
01:15:38,618 --> 01:15:41,870
Their artillery will be down
on us soon. We have to go.
709
01:15:42,079 --> 01:15:44,331
No! We'll lose Topper and Dexter.
710
01:15:44,916 --> 01:15:48,168
But that's been the idea all along,
hasn't it, Michelle?
711
01:15:52,924 --> 01:15:56,426
You're looking beautiful as ever,
Ramada. How did you know?
712
01:15:56,636 --> 01:15:59,888
I didn't. It all came together
when I saw you here.
713
01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:02,599
I remembered your inscription
in my yearbook.
714
01:16:02,850 --> 01:16:05,685
You wrote, "Remember the fun
we had in class
715
01:16:05,937 --> 01:16:08,605
"and I'll fuck up your life
if it's the last thing I do."
716
01:16:09,482 --> 01:16:12,984
And then I realize where I had
last seen this.
717
01:16:21,202 --> 01:16:24,246
What could I have done to make
you so vindictive?
718
01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:27,290
Goodness sake. You know each other.
719
01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:30,085
Oh, Ramada, how could you
have been so blind?
720
01:16:30,336 --> 01:16:34,089
You were too wrapped up in being
Miss Perfect College to notice me.
721
01:16:34,298 --> 01:16:38,301
Why concern yourself with the feelings
of one insignificant roommate?
722
01:16:38,511 --> 01:16:43,556
One fabulous day,
one incredible experience.
723
01:16:43,766 --> 01:16:45,976
I had no idea it meant so much to you.
724
01:16:46,185 --> 01:16:48,520
I remember that day
as if it were yesterday.
725
01:16:48,729 --> 01:16:50,772
The exhilaration of experimenting,
726
01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:54,943
sharing something so new,
so dangerous,
727
01:16:55,194 --> 01:16:58,989
- so intimate.
- Go on.
728
01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:01,825
And I'll never forget
the look on your face.
729
01:17:02,034 --> 01:17:04,536
The way the sweat glistened
on your hard body.
730
01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:06,538
Then you tied my ankles.
731
01:17:06,747 --> 01:17:09,916
Tighter. Tighter.
732
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:13,420
But it just wasn't right.
It wasn't natural.
733
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:16,840
Bungee-jumping is just too
dangerous a sport.
734
01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:18,967
Bungee-jumping? That's it?
735
01:17:20,261 --> 01:17:23,054
How could you hurt so many
innocent people?
736
01:17:23,264 --> 01:17:26,099
Oh, Ramada! It was always
so easy for you.
737
01:17:26,350 --> 01:17:27,767
How could you understand?
738
01:17:29,770 --> 01:17:32,939
I had Dexter imprisoned
because I wanted you to suffer
739
01:17:33,149 --> 01:17:35,942
- as much as you made me suffer.
- You fool!
740
01:17:39,613 --> 01:17:42,574
When I discovered I couldn't win
Topper because
741
01:17:42,783 --> 01:17:45,368
he loved you,
I tried to have you killed.
742
01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:49,539
He... He still loves me.
743
01:17:52,710 --> 01:17:54,419
You turned your back on America
744
01:17:55,546 --> 01:17:58,673
because of your jealousy.
You're gonna pay for this.
745
01:18:07,767 --> 01:18:09,017
Good doggy!
746
01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:26,242
Ew.
747
01:18:26,369 --> 01:18:27,994
Ah-huh!
748
01:18:30,623 --> 01:18:33,792
Aluminum siding. Ten-year guarantee.
No paint needed.
749
01:19:05,574 --> 01:19:06,616
Hm.
750
01:19:27,638 --> 01:19:30,682
Do you have any idea
where you're going?
751
01:19:31,725 --> 01:19:33,601
Ha! You missed!
752
01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:37,564
It'll take more than that
to stop me, you devils!
753
01:19:37,773 --> 01:19:39,190
Don't jiggle me.
754
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:43,319
Advil! Midol! Get over here!
To the helicopter.
755
01:19:43,571 --> 01:19:46,531
They dicked with the wrong dictator.
756
01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:48,616
This means war!
757
01:19:51,829 --> 01:19:53,830
You better let me handle this, son.
758
01:19:55,166 --> 01:19:56,791
Ew. You're so sweaty.
759
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,002
- I knew you'd make it.
- It's about time.
760
01:20:02,047 --> 01:20:04,299
- Michelle.
- She's our saboteur.
761
01:20:05,593 --> 01:20:07,844
Can you get me off
for old times' sake?
762
01:20:08,053 --> 01:20:12,682
Sorry, precious. You sold
out the greatest country in the world.
763
01:20:13,100 --> 01:20:17,187
And to think I wore your mole.
Get her out of here.
764
01:20:21,984 --> 01:20:23,568
Dexter?
765
01:20:24,653 --> 01:20:25,945
Ramada.
766
01:20:30,993 --> 01:20:35,163
Oh, dear Dexter. Look what they've
done to your shoelaces.
767
01:20:35,372 --> 01:20:39,959
Oh, my darling. You've no idea what
I've just been through.
768
01:20:40,211 --> 01:20:43,796
But now we're together again.
We have much to look forward to.
769
01:20:44,048 --> 01:20:48,176
I want to do it all.
Donahue. Geraldo.
770
01:20:48,385 --> 01:20:52,263
Sally Jessy. Oh, and who's
that black chick?
771
01:20:53,766 --> 01:20:56,809
- Oprah.
- Yes! Yes. Her too.
772
01:21:02,274 --> 01:21:04,734
Let's go! It's getting hot here.
773
01:21:04,944 --> 01:21:06,986
I'm going back for the president.
774
01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:08,696
Topper!
775
01:21:09,740 --> 01:21:11,407
I'm staying here with you.
776
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:14,661
Get on that helicopter with
Dexter, where you belong.
777
01:21:14,912 --> 01:21:17,121
Why? I thought you loved me.
778
01:21:17,331 --> 01:21:20,083
Ramada, I do love you.
I've tried to forget you
779
01:21:20,334 --> 01:21:23,461
but no matter what, your face
is on the tip of my tongue.
780
01:21:23,671 --> 01:21:24,837
Then let me stay with you.
781
01:21:25,047 --> 01:21:28,341
Ramada, I want to be with you.
I want to hold you.
782
01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:30,635
Meet your parents and pet your dog.
783
01:21:30,844 --> 01:21:33,346
My parents are dead. My dog ate them.
784
01:21:33,973 --> 01:21:37,934
I'm sorry. We both know you
belong with Dexter.
785
01:21:38,185 --> 01:21:41,062
You're part of his work,
the thing that keeps him going.
786
01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:45,608
I'm not being noble, but do you have
any idea what'd happen if you stay?
787
01:21:45,859 --> 01:21:47,110
Of course I do.
788
01:21:47,319 --> 01:21:51,656
Sex. Wild, free, passionate,
unbridled sex.
789
01:21:51,907 --> 01:21:54,409
I'd fondle you in ways
you can't imagine.
790
01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:58,371
I would pleasure you at any time,
in any place, in any way,
791
01:21:58,622 --> 01:22:01,082
for as long as you could
possibly desire.
792
01:22:09,383 --> 01:22:12,218
You better get going.
You'll miss your takeoff.
793
01:22:15,097 --> 01:22:18,766
Goodbye, Topper. God bless you.
794
01:22:19,018 --> 01:22:21,603
Wait, let me get a shot of you two.
795
01:22:21,854 --> 01:22:25,231
It'll be great for the talk shows.
Let's frame this up.
796
01:22:25,482 --> 01:22:29,319
Closer together. Come on.
Don't be shy.
797
01:22:29,528 --> 01:22:30,695
Put your arm around her.
798
01:22:31,447 --> 01:22:33,823
I've almost got it.
This is a great shot.
799
01:22:34,033 --> 01:22:36,284
My God, you're gonna love this!
800
01:22:36,910 --> 01:22:41,205
You know, under other circumstances,
you'd make a great couple.
801
01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:44,959
Oh, well. Say che...
802
01:22:45,544 --> 01:22:48,296
You're moving too much.
Quit spinning!
803
01:22:48,505 --> 01:22:50,173
This'll make me rich and f...
804
01:22:51,592 --> 01:22:55,303
- He really was a wiener!
- Don't get me started.
805
01:22:55,554 --> 01:22:58,598
Hold it there! Hold it!
806
01:22:59,683 --> 01:23:02,185
This buggy going to America?
807
01:23:02,394 --> 01:23:04,020
I was afraid we'd lost you!
808
01:23:04,229 --> 01:23:05,647
Lost? Not a chance.
809
01:23:05,856 --> 01:23:07,940
Shove over! I get the window seat.
810
01:23:15,449 --> 01:23:18,576
- They're in my sights.
- Just a second! This is personal.
811
01:23:22,790 --> 01:23:25,083
We're too heavy.
We need to lose weight.
812
01:28:23,048 --> 01:28:25,633
Hot Shots!
Part Deux was filmed in Hollywood
813
01:28:25,842 --> 01:28:27,885
in front of a live studio audience.
57569
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