All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S04E01.WEB-DL.x264-FGT

[ Man ]
* You've got to

* Give a little

* Take a little

* And let your poor heart
break a little *

* That's the story of

* That's the glory of love *

[ Chattering ]
** [ Continues ]

Let me tell you something.
You two women couldn't be more
beautiful if you were paid for.

Denny!
What?

God, you're sexy.
Marry me.

- How 'bout a dance instead?
- Then we can get married.

Alimony check's
already cuttin'.

He's certainly
in his element tonight.

Are you?

I could be,
with proper coaxing.

Do you know what
I'd really like to do?
Tell me.

I would like you
to take me home
and ravage me,

leaving me weak,
gasping for breath...

and pregnant.

** [ Slows Down ]

What was that last part?

I want to have a baby.
Yours.

- You live here?
- No, no, no. Don't be silly.

I have a big home
in the burbs.

I just use this place
in the city for quickies.

You make it sound
so romantic.

Oh, we're so right
for each other, Cynthia.
Mmm.

I can feel it.
[ Chuckling ]

You're hot.
I'm in heat.

We're a match...
waiting to ignite.

[ Chuckles ]
Oh, Denny.

I have a career,
and my career is very
important to me.

What do you do?
Men. Rich men.

Oh.
Now, don't get me wrong.

I went out with you because I
find you funny and attractive.

And I'm a huge sucker
for power.

But... if you
want to have sex,
it'll cost you $5,000.

Five... thousand?

What if you stayed
a power sucker...

inside the car?

2,500.
Here's 3,000.

Oh! You are so sweet.
Mmm.

[ Clicking Sound ]
Oh! Does that cost extra?

You're under arrest
for violation of Massachusetts
General Laws,

Chapter 272, Section 53A,
Sexual Conduct for a Fee.

You have the right
to remain silent.
Oh, come on.

If you give up that right
to remain silent,

anything you say can
and will be used against you
in a court of law.

[ Mirandizing ]
[ Sighs ]
I even liked you.

[ Mirandizing Continues ]
Change of plans, Jeffrey.

Take me to jail.

Here we go again.

** [ Funk ]
** [ Man Vocalizing ]

[ Man ]
* Uh-huh

* All right

* Come on

* Ah

* Come on
All right *

* Well, yeah

* Well, yeah

* Outlaw *

I can't believe she was
an undercover cop.

I should've known
something was up when she
called me "handsome."

Did you actually
give her money?

It was entrapment, man.
You saw the way she was dressed.

My bet? I was targeted.

Alan. Denny.
Shirley.

Let me introduce Katie Lloyd.
She's joining us today.

She's fresh out
of law school.
Very fresh.

That took all
of one second.

Perhaps we can get
a cup of coffee later.

That took five seconds.

Well, well, well.
Denny Crane.

What are you doing
in my law firm?

It's not your firm, Denny.
I'm a senior partner, remember?

Or has your brain shrunk
since we last met?

At that time, I believe
it was the size of a pea.

- I see you've made a friend.
- We had a deal, Sack.

I stay out of New York.
You steer clear of Boston.

- What's he doing here?
- New sheriff in town, Denny.

Here. Let me
help you get settled.

What do you mean
"new sheriff"?
I'm the sheriff.

You've seen my spurs.

Hello.

Hello.

We'll talk
about this later.
We will talk about it now.

Okay, fine.
Go to my office then.
Fine! Where is it?

Very peppy here.
[ Chuckles ]
Yes.

Uh, we apologize for any
temporary inconvenience,

but until the renovations
are complete, you'll
be sharing an office.

Jerry Espenson,
this is Katie Lloyd.

Nice to meet you,
Jerry.

Hello! Welcome! Hello!
[ Chuckles ]

Jerry graciously volunteered
to share his office.

Well, I'll let you
get settled.

I believe
we have a staff meeting
scheduled for 11:00.

Brilliant.

[ Grunts ]
Oh! I should perhaps
get organized.

Yes.

Yes. Oh. Yes.

You're pretty.
Oh, you're very kind
to say so.

- And you seem so nice.
- Thank you for that as well.

I'm not being forward.
Don't be alarmed.

It's just... not all
litigators are nice people.

Denise Bauer is nice,
but she's on maternity.

Brad Chase was nice.
Now he's gone.

I was beginning to think
nice people don't last long
around here.

So I'm so happy
to see another one arrive.

This was just assigned to us
by the court. Indigent client.

Old lawyer jumped
in front of a bus.
Now he needs a new one.

What is it?

It appears to be
a strangulation.

I have a murder trial.

Any advice as to
what I should do first?

Well, I suppose you should
first meet with the client.

He didn't sound very pleasant
as the police report read.

No, he didn't.
Can't say I want
to meet him.

Arrested for what?

Uh, it was a conflict
of interest.

I was involved with this cop
who was working on a case
that I was involved with.

- Oh, dear God!
- Alan will take care of it.

No, he will not!
I need Alan.

- I'll get you somebody else.
- I don't want anybody else!

I don't care.
I need Alan.

Now, please leave,
and try not to get arrested
on your way out.

You said we'd talk
about Carl Sack!

I lied. Out, now.

I did tell Denny
I'd help him.

Here's the deal. I'm rich.

I soothe my guilt by
making various donations,

most recently
one to Stanford to the tune
of three million dollars.

- I rescinded,
and they're suing me.
- You're being sued by Stanford?

My donation was earmarked
to develop technologies to
combat greenhouse gas emissions.

I've since learned ExxonMobil
also made a contribution--
100 million.

-Afraid the study's been bought?
-I'm not giving them my money.

So he's in charge
of litigation?
Apparently.

What about Shirley?
Evidently,
she didn't want to.

Is he gonna reshuffle
everything? I hear
he's a reshuffler.

Shh. Here he comes.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Hello.

What's with
the shifty eyes, son?

That wasn't nice.

Sorry. I didn't
mean anything.

Truth is, my favorite uncle
had eyes exactly like yours.

He liked to touch
small children
in bad places.

Do you like that, son?

[ Squeals ]

[ Shouting ]
Counselor, hey!

He jumped
in front of a bus?
Evidently.

Is there anything you can
tell me about my client?
Well, you won't like him.

He's cuffed and shackled,
so you're okay.

We'll keep the other guard
in the corner.
I appreciate that.

If you need anything--
[ Buzzer Buzzes ]

[ Gate Door Closes,
Lock Clicking ]

Hello, Mr. Washington.

Um, my name's Katie Lloyd.

I'll be filling in
for Mr. Rice,

who suddenly and tragically
passed away this week.

I'll be needing to be
brought up to speed somewhat
and, as such,

shall be seeking
continuance.

I anticipate being successful
in that endeavor.

But in the meantime, I'd like
to ask you a few questions,
if you don't mind.

Lovely.

I expect there's more
where that came from.

Well, I rescued a dog once
from a shelter.

He bit me six times before we
went on to be fab friends.

- [ Knocking ]
- You asked to see me?

Clarence, yes.
Please, come in.

I feel as though
we got off on a wrong note.

Do you have
any hobbies, son?

I'm not sure what you mean.

Well, some people golf.
Others go fishing.

Personally, I like
to google myself...

in the privacy
of my own home.

Do you ever
google yourself, son?

You know, in those
hard to reach places?

I still don't know what
you mean, and I'm finding you
to be not very nice.

I never forget a face,
Clarence,

and when I saw yours
this morning--

You know, sometimes
in addition to googling myself,
I like to go on YouTube.

One of the current favorites is
titled "The Dancing Drag Queen."

* Here we go, loop de loop
* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Shake it up, baby

* Here we go
Loop de li-yi-yi *

- * Bend over, let me see you
shake your tail feather *
- [ Chuckles ]

My favorite part?
Coming up right here.

* Bend over
Let me see you shake
your tail feather, twist-- **

Now, I realize
I'm new here, son.

My friend Doris and me
entered a contest.

It's at King's Row Kenmore.
We've made the quarterfinals.

I see. And the dress?

It's just... something
I do sometimes.

Clarence,

it wasn't my intent
to come in here and start
barking directives,

but I'm going to need you to
withdraw from this competition.

What-- What do you mean?

Son, we are in
the business of law here.

A law firm has to be
discreet, conservative,

reasonable--
[ Scoffs ] modest.

You're listed
as a part-time lawyer
at Crane, Poole & Schmidt,

and we simply
cannot have that--

* Shake it, shake it, shake it
Oh, baby, ba-- *

associated with what we are.

But... we're in
the quarterfinals.

No, Clarence, Boston
is a very small town.

I'm sorry.

And if I refuse
to withdraw?

You know, son,

I'm really hoping
people don't test me.

- [ Cable Car Bell Dinging ]
- [ Elevator Bell Dinging ]

Alan? Shirley.

- Lorraine.
- I suppose it was inevitable
we'd finally bump heads a bit.

You really should keep
your promises, Shirley.

Are you representing
Stanford?

It's discourteous
not to extend a greeting.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I was distracted
by your... neck.

- Will you relax?
- Don't tell me to relax, Denny.

Telling somebody
in an agitated state
to relax...

is like telling
a starving man
not to be hungry.

She's an old girlfriend.
The town is full of them.
Not like her.

She has a neck--
It's long.

She has eyes
and... this neck.

Two necks?

Denny, I had--
[ Stammering ]

There's something addictive
about this woman,

and not necessarily
in a healthy way.

I would lose myself
around her--

Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, listen to me.

[ Clears Throat ]
We're friends, right?

I would do anything
to help you
with your problems,

the same as you
would do whatever
to help me with mine, true?

Yes.
I need you to get Gloria
to make my arrest go away.

And just like that,
we're on to your problem.

Alan, please.
I could face jail.

Why are you out with hookers
in the first place?
Sex!

What'd you think?
Cribbage?

Don't you find it
a little desperate, Denny?
A little sad?

Let's face it.
I'm not an attractive man.

And at my point in life,
my options are limited.

Denny, you're
very attractive.
Are you kidding?

Your face is robust.

It has character.
You've got that twinkle
in your eyes.

You're surprisingly firm.

You really think
I'm attractive?

- I do. You know I do.
- May I cut in?

No, you may not.

Denny, you still do answer
to your name, right?

- Yes, I do. And I
still run this place.
- No, you don't.

What's more,
you don't want to.

You just want to run around,
drop your pants, shoot people,
date a hooker.

How's the mad cow coming?
Let's all pause while you
compose a comeback.

- Now you listen to me.
- Zing!

Every time somebody
counts me out of the game,
I surprise them.

- You understand me?
- Not at all.

Surprise me.

Hello. Terribly sorry.
I'm-- My name's Katie Lloyd.

I'm from the law firm
of Crane, Poole & Schmidt.

I've just inherited
the Joseph Washington case...

and was wondering
if I could trouble you
for a continuance.

- I'm sorry. Did you say
Crane, Poole & Schmidt?
- That's right.

Figures.

May I?
Get a continuance?
Just a wee one.

You can, though we only plan to
enter a plea of second degree.

Oh. Oh, I see.

Um, was there a particular
sentence involved?

- Life.
- Oh.

That would work well
for your side, I suppose.

So, how much do you know
about your client?

The relationship's
still young.
And how old are you?

Twenty-five.
Have you ever tried
a homicide case before?

Never.
Have you ever tried
any case before?

Never.
Oh, where are my manners?
Talking about me.

Are you married?
I beg your pardon.

[ Knocking ]
Gloria.

Any-- What?

Come on. I had a headache.
What? That's never
happened to you?

After Denny called
and said he'd been arrested,

I couldn't... perform.

Uh-huh. Was that the same
headache this morning,
or a different one?

The same.

I'll have it as long as these
ridiculous charges are hanging
over Denny's aching head.

If we could make the charges
disappear, my feeling is
so would the headache.

Is that why you're here?
Because let me tell you
something--

Gloria, spare me the speech.
Denny's practically family.
This was entrapment.

It'll be an ugly trial,
one which you will be
a part of as a witness.

It's in everybody's favor to
make this go away. One of us
has that power. It isn't me.

- Interesting to find out
where your priorities lie.
- So now we know.

Alan?

I still want that baby.

What do you mean
you can't do it?

The new head of Litigation
says I can't.

But we're in
the quarterfinals.

I know.

I don't--
I don't understand.
It isn't fair.

Doris, cross-dressing--

The public still perceives it
as some kind of sickness.

Law firms--

It's all about image.

- We're in the quarterfinals.
- I know.

You can do it without me.

Without you?
You know I can't go
on stage without you.

I was only able to leave
my house 18 months ago.

I can't lose my job, Doris.

Okay.

There's a reason why I gave
the money to Stanford.

- To get your niece in?
- Besides that.

Given how much the government
has been co-opted
by the oil companies,

I felt at least academic
research would be neutral.

But now--
And this isn't just happening
at Stanford, by the way.

Berkeley was given $500 million
by a leading oil company.
Princeton.

Do we think for a second
these contributions won't
tilt these findings...

or steer them?

Do you have any evidence
that they have?

Oh, yes.
The dean put out a memo.
"We've been bought."

- What do you think?
- I-- I'd like to see
that memo, please.

Can you prove that anyone
at any of these universities...

has been "bought,"
as you like to call it?

No. Nor can we prove
any elected officials
have been corrupted.

We're not talking about
the government here, Shirley.

This is a private entity,
which you pledged to give
money to...

in order to support research
that would--

But I no longer trust
that research.

Sorry.

A study to explore
alternative energy sources...

essentially funded
by an oil company--

Would you swallow that?

32667, People versus
Joseph Washington.

Good afternoon, Your Honor.
Brad Chase for the Commonwealth.

Good afternoon, Your Honor.
Katie Lloyd.

I'll be entering
my appearance on behalf
of Mr. Washington.

Parties are prepared
to offer a plea agreement
at this time.

Mr. Washington will agree
to plead guilty to murder
in the second degree.

Commonwealth and the defense
offer a joint recommendation
for a life sentence.

- This is acceptable
to you, Ms. Lloyd?
- It is, Your Honor. Thank you.

Mr. Washington, you understand
that by pleading guilty...

you are admitting
to the charges of
the Commonwealth's complaint...

alleging that on the night
of November 2, 2006, you,
with malice aforethought,

raped and murdered
Ann Harris Rivers?

You further understand that you
will most likely be serving...

the remainder
of your natural life
in maximum security prison?

Mr. Washington?
I need a response from you.

Mr. Washington?

Sir, if I don't get
a verbal response from you,
I cannot accept your plea.

- Counsel, have you
spoken to your client?
- Yes, Your Honor.

One last time,
Mr. Washington.

Do you understand
and accept the terms
of this plea agreement?

The plea is rejected.

We'll have opening statements
Tuesday, 10:00 a.m. Adjourned.

I'm sorry. I just got this case.
Might I get a continuance?

- No.
- Your Honor, it would seem
in the interest of justice--

Justice?

Look back there, Mr. Chase.

I don't have to tell you that
the husband of the victim...

has shown up
in this courtroom
repeatedly...

only to learn that the defendant
has yet again fired his lawyer
at the last second.

Mr. Washington's
previous attorney wasn't fired.
He jumped in front of a bus.

- I don't care. I'll see you
Tuesday at 10:00.
- [ Gavel Raps ]

What do you mean?
It's going to trial?
I thought they reached a plea.

Seems our client didn't reach
it or, if so, was unwilling
to communicate as much.

Look, as much
as I'd like to do this,
I've never tried anything.

And Brad Chase
is the D.A.?
Hey, you!

- Is it, uh, Jerry?
- Yes.

Assist Ms. Lloyd
with her murder trial.

- [ Squeals ]
- Okay.

I just got put
on a murder case! Murder!

[ Shuddering ]
Can you believe it?

You seem excited--
all of you.

What's wrong?

Sack made me withdraw
from the singing contest.

What? How did he
even know about it?

Sorry.

Somebody took video
and put it on YouTube,
so now I'm out.

- But you're in
the quarterfinals.
- I know.

This Sack is a bad, bad person.
I don't like this Sack.

What about Doris?

She's... destroyed.

Tell Alan. He'll fix it.
Or tell Shirley.

I can fight my own battles.
Clearly you can't, Clarence.

I didn't mean it like that.

Tell Alan.
He'll fix that Sack-head.
Tell him.

[ Buzzer Buzzes ]

Most of the tenants
maintain...

that you were an excellent
and very reliable custodian,

but several alluded
to a possible obsession
you had with the victim.

One woman remarked that
she thought you invented
maintenance issues...

in Mrs. Rivers's unit
just to get close to her.

Is any of this true?

Your semen was found
inside and on the victim.

I'm sure you've
been told this.

Mr. Washington,
you must talk to us.

Mr. Washington,

we will go in and fight
very hard for you,

but you need to help.

[ Clearing Throat ]
May I speak with you
a second?

Only if you can
make it quick, Clarence.
I'm off to court.

Okay. I quit.

A little less quick.

I entered a singing contest
as Clarice with a friend.

We've made
the quarterfinals.
Carl Sack found out.

Said cross-dressers
aren't commensurate
with the firm's image.

He told me
to withdraw or else.

I'm choosing "else."

I thought Clarice
was on sabbatical.

She still comes out
sometimes. I entered
the contest as her.

It's the only way I could
get on stage and sing.

But if I want to keep going,
I'll get fired,

so I decided I'd quit
and save everybody
some time.

All right. Look.

There is no way I would let
Carl Sack fire you.

Having said that,
two things can happen here:
I can fix this or you can.

[ Sighs ]

Your goal is to be a full-time
lawyer here, is it not?
Yes.

Well, then I would suggest
you go make your case
to Carl Sack...

as you.

You asked to see us,
Your Honor?
Yes, thank you.

You'll be dropping the charges
against Denny Crane immediately.

Thank you.

There a problem?
The charges are valid.

No, they're not.
I was there, counsel, at least
earlier in the evening.

I saw the officer's behavior,
as well as her attire.

She cultivated
any predisposition
on Mr. Crane's part.

This is beyond entrapment.

You're done.

With all due respect,
your relationship with
the defendant's best friend--

Has no bearing whatsoever,

but it would certainly
be called into play should
this case ever reach trial,

which would really
piss me off.

I don't think you
really mean to incur the wrath
of a superior court judge,

especially one that
can be such a bitch.

You will drop it today before
any further investigation...

reveals Mr. Crane
to be a target.

Get out.

For the past 11 years,
I've taught a class at Harvard
on oil and economics,

and I focused specifically
on capture.

Capture.
Yes. Big oil
capturing academia.

It's already happened
in the United Kingdom.
Now it's happening here.

And they do this
by donating money?

Yes. Their sponsorship has
some influence obviously.

But what's even
more dangerous is that it's
an insidious recruiting tool.

Oil companies are making their
branding visible to young,
impressionable students.

And by the way,
we've already seen
some universities...

actually tailor
their course curriculum
to serve the industry.

But let's be fair. Some of
these courses are geared toward
reducing fossil fuel dependency.

Yes. But most of
the research is geological--

where to find new oil fields
and how to exploit them.

It's ridiculous.

Do you have any information
as to the pledge made by
Ms. Schmidt to Stanford?

No.

Do you have any opinion
as to whether a valid contract
was formed here or not?

No.

You really
can't win this, Alan.

The courts consider these
donations binding contracts.

People reconsider financial
pledges all the time.

And get sued.
Come on.

Stanford doesn't want
the publicity of a trial here.

Make me an offer,
and I'll go away,

if you want me to go away.

[ Bell Dings ]
Oh!

[ Clears Throat ]

[ Sighs ]

I had a dream not too long ago
about you and an elevator.

Really?

Was I going up
or going down?

- [ Warning Bell Rings ]
- What are you doing?

Is it serious
with this judge?

- Lorraine,
start the elevator.
- You start it.

I'm not in good enough
shape for this.

For what?

[ Chuckling ]
You dropped your trial bag.

Did I?

You and I should not
be doing...

a case together.

I agree.

We need to settle it,
don't we?

Make me an offer.

Right in the elevator?
Yeah, I know.

I'm in
a monogamous relationship,
for God's sake--

one founded
very much on trust.

Alan, here's the thing
about monogamy-- It only
works if you cheat.

Please, don't be glib, Denny.
I'm not at all happy about this.
I'm sorry.

What are you doing?
I'm checking on your flow.

I got Weak Stream Syndrome.

You got nice velocity there.
Mmm.

Look at me.

It's not so bad.
Oh, please!

I've seen drip coffee
percolate faster.

Denny, you're 75.
It's fine.

[ Grunts ]

Huh? See?
That was good.

You're not just saying so?
Mm-mmm.

You're a little red there.
Mmm, it's ashamed.

Knows it's been bad.
[ Zippers Zipping ]

What?
What?

What do you mean,
go with you?

Uh, I need to put
a human face on it.

Why can't you put
your face on it?

I will.
I just want to add yours.

It'll help, Doris.

We can go right in
to see him... tomorrow.

- What's going on?
- We're gonna make
our case with Sack.

"We"?
I'll do the talking.

- How's the murder case going?
- Horrible!

The client left
blood, semen, fingerprints,
and he won't talk to us!

Horrible! I apologize
for my coarse language.

Katie's gone back
to try again, but he
won't talk. It's awful.

We go to trial
in five days, Mr. Washington.
You need to talk to me.

The evidence
is insurmountable--

Your semen at the scene.
Traces of her blood
on your locker.

Your confession,
which didn't exactly
advance our cause.

And if you don't
cooperate with us,
then we'll have no--

- [ Screaming ]
- [ Katie Screams ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

Hold him down.
[ Shouting ]

Go. Down. Come on.

Go! Down! Down!

[ Angry Shrieking ]

- You should
probably go, counselor!
- No.

[ Panting ]

May we continue,
Mr. Washington?

Please help my client up.

Got him? Okay.

Got him?

You get
one more chance, Joe.
Solitary's next.

[ Buzzer Buzzes ]

Mr. Washington, did you
not commit this crime?

I asked you a question.

Did you not
commit this crime?

You're innocent.

We got together
for about six months.

Secret. That's the way
she wanted it.

And the liaisons
would always take place
in her apartment?

The night
that she was killed--
You were there?

We got together around 5:00.

She was killed around 6:00.

It had to have happened
just after I left.

Her blood on your locker?

Somebody put it there.

Somebody had to have
put it there.

But he confessed.

After 36 hours of sleep
deprivation and who knows
what other kind of coercion.

Jerry, this is a man
who's never received
a break from anybody.

Every lawyer he's ever had
has tried to plead him guilty.

He's just resigned himself
to being convicted.

Well, if he didn't do it,
who did?

I haven't
the slightest idea.

She was seeing a therapist.
If we can establish that she and
Joseph were having an affair--

I'm gonna pay him a visit.
Katie, our client--
Have you seen his priors?

I think he's innocent.
I really do.

The idea that we would
contaminate our findings...

is as preposterous
as it is offensive.

Well, if you were given, say,
a hundred million dollars
by somebody,

don't you at least feel
some obligation to pay
the piper a little?

Well, if by "pay the piper,"
you mean fudge the science, no.

I must admit
I know nothing...

about this, uh,
research funding business.

In my line of work,
if somebody who should
remain neutral...

takes money from one
of the interested parties,
we call that a bribe.

There is no quid pro quo
whatsoever.

So these oil companies give you
money to find ways to put them
out of business because--

We don't ask what
their expectations are
because they're not relevant.

Well, do you think
maybe they're doing this
for the environmental good?

Objection. Counsel
is being very... naughty.

I would appreciate it
if you could stop with
the little comments in there.

What comments?
Naughty and--
Well, naughty.

I was simply objecting
to your cross.

Perhaps it was
your conscience
saying naughty.

Or maybe your id.
You have a very
active id, Alan.

I don't want to play,
Lorraine.

But it's what I do.
You never complained before.

- [ Bell Rings ]
- Forget it! Not a chance.

- Mr. Sack?
- Clarence?

This is Doris Thumper.

You may remember
seeing her on the video.

I do. You've got quite
the voice, Doris.

Thank you.
Doris and I met in shyness
therapy three years ago.

She was borderline
agoraphobic at the time.

Wow.
You've made progress.

Yes. This singing contest
is maybe the biggest thing
that's happened to her.

Maybe me too.

- I've decided not to withdraw.
- Have you?

If you choose to fire me,
that's your right.

Thank you.

I'm not sure why
you came here.

Maybe it was
to remake this law firm
into something--

Resembling a law firm?

I understand the decision
to project conservatism...

and reasonableness
and modesty,

but Boston is full
of those firms.

As is New York and--
well, I guess every city.

The people
I went to law school with
work at many of them.

They all have
one thing in common.

They're not happy.

People here are.

Maybe because they're
not afraid of themselves.

One lawyer likes
to purr and hop.

Partners and associates
have sex with each other
sometimes.

We've got two men
who take five minutes
out of every single day...

to celebrate
their friendship
on a balcony.

How many people do you know
who actually do that?

I occasionally
throw on a dress
and I like to sing.

I don't want to be
one of those lawyers
at other firms...

choking on modesty
and reasonableness.

I'm surprised that you do.

If your mission here
is to make this...

into a normal law firm,

I really hope you fail,

for everybody's sake.

[ Sighs ]

It's a valid contract,
properly negotiated.

Both parties were knowing,
consenting, willing.

If she'd wanted to place certain
restrictions on her donation,
she certainly could have.

She didn't.

Hello.

Now, as for big oil
getting involved in research
to combat global warming,

are we seriously against that?

My God. For years,
we've been hammering them.

"You're a big part
of the problem.
Be part of the solution."

Now thankfully,
some of these companies
are trying to do just that.

And given that they're
billion-dollar companies,

if they want to join the fight
against greenhouse emissions,

that should make us,
well, orgasmic.

Are you not just a little?

[ Scoffs ]

Let's look at what's happened
in Washington.

These huge corporations...

that poison
our drinking water,
foul our air,

lay waste to our lands...

have discovered
that instead of trying
to influence government,

better to simply
become government.

And with a little help from
a friend in a very high place,
they've done just that.

Over 100 top environmental posts
have been passed out...

to representatives
of polluting industries.

- Can you fathom that, Judge?
- Don't you be asking me
to fathom.

I am not a, uh, fathomer.

Almost every agency responsible
for protecting America
from pollution...

is now being headed up
by somebody from
the pollution industry.

- The fix is in.
- How does this involve
Stanford University?

It involves
a need in this country
for independent,

unbiased, uncorrupted
environmental research.

And since it's obviously
not coming from Washington,

academia is our best,
if not our only hope.

And now it, too, is being
co-opted by big pollution.

The facts are
that the oil industry has
systematically campaigned...

to create doubt
as to the very existence
of global warming,

pumping millions of dollars
into think tanks,

consumer groups,
media outlets, religious
and civic organizations,

every penny aimed
at diffusing the concern
over climate change.

Now they're privatizing
university research.

Berkeley, Princeton,
now Stanford.

Do we truly want
our universities,

the breeding grounds
for tomorrow's leaders,
innovators, visionaries--

Do we truly want them
climbing into bed
with the oil companies?

- Strange bedfellows?
- Lorraine, stop it.

Your Honor, at some point,

a little common sense has to
prevail in this country.

We've started a war,
in part, for oil,

one we may never get out of
in our lifetime.

Of all the industrialized
nations in the world,

we're the biggest contributor
to greenhouse gas emissions,
and we do the least about it.

We thumb our nose
at the Kyoto treaty.

Our government actually
censors scientific reports
from the E.P.A. and others...

to edit out little findings
they don't like.

Even the Democratic
presidential hopefuls
don't talk about this...

because they don't want
to jeopardize their campaign
contributions from big oil.

Big oil, big politics.

Do we all really intend
to sit quietly...

as they infiltrate
vital academic research?

Is that what we want?
Is that who we are?

[ Door Opens ]

May I ask just
a couple of questions?

Certainly.

You did go
to law school, right?

And you, Jerry,
you've actually practiced,
I've been told.

You are a mean, mean man,
and I don't like what you
said to Clarence.

And I don't think you
fit in here at all because
you're a mean, mean man.

Care to button that
with a hop?

Okay, Jerry, I am a good man.
Just a very poor wizard.

And unless either of you happen
to be wizards, why aren't you
pleading this case out?

I tried. Joseph wouldn't answer
the judge, so she refused
to accept the plea.

As far as I understand it,
Joseph wasn't speaking because
he was an uncommunicative beast.

Now he trusts you. He should
trust your recommendation he
plead to second-degree murder.

There's only one problem.
He's innocent.

- I beg your pardon?
- He didn't kill that woman.

- Ah. And you know this how?
- He told me.

- [ Gasps ]
Oh, he told you!
- Mean!

- What's going on?
- Great news! The client
has declared his innocence.

- I'd appreciate you
not being snide.
- This goes to trial Tuesday.

This Tuesday.
Did I mention they
have no defense?

- Alan, you take over.
- Me? What about Jerry?

Please. At a minimum,
we could use your involvement
to get Judge Glo-Glo recused.

That could buy us some time.
And, Katie, no offense, but
you're not ready for this.

I understand.
There is a suppression hearing
scheduled for tomorrow.

Shirley,
I'm not ready for this.

You've tried cases
on the fly before.
Not first-degree murder.

- You say he confessed?
- He did. That's what we're
trying to suppress.

- And as for evidence?
- Joseph was the last one
seen with her alive.

His semen was found on her,
her blood on his locker.

And he has a violent
criminal past.

He's nothing
but a mean, mean man,
this Sack-head.

What did he do now?
Oh, he's just mean,
and snide, and smug.

I expect him
to fire me any second.
I thought you quit.

I'm giving him time
to reconsider.
What reconsider?

From the way you explained it,
you said you quit.
Shh.

- I thought you quit.
- Told ya.

I thought maybe you'd
change your mind.

You thought
I'd change my mind?
So you really didn't quit?

Well, in that case,
you're fired.

[ Grunts ]
Oh, sorry!

First, I was kidding.

Second, if I were not,
you don't head butt... ever!

You may keep your job,
Clarence.

I thought about
what you said. I agree.

People need to be
embraced sometimes for
their differences...

instead of
being excluded.

We talk it. I suppose
we should walk it.

Good luck
with your contest.

Hug?

You're welcome
to come watch. 8:00.

Maybe next time.
Shame!

- I can't believe you did that.
- Oh, shut up!

[ Chuckling, Exhales ]

I want to know why Carl Sack
was brought in here.

- Because I need help
managing things.
- You got me!

Yeah. You're one of the things
I need help managing.

All your nonsense.

[ Sighs ]

So how'd it go
with the hooker?
Oh, case was dropped.

Great.

And why the waders?

Well, I may not be
the lawyer I once was,

but I can still fish circles
around all of you.
[ Chuckling ]

And sometimes I just like
to put them on and--

When-- When I was
in high school,

I was captain
of the debate team,

class president...

and miserable over being cut
from the cheerleading team.

So I-- I went out
and bought my own outfit,
complete with pom-poms.

I would dress up and stand
in front of the mirror...

in the little skirt,
the white socks, the sweater.

It somehow
made me feel better.

And then years after--

after I was a lawyer,
even a partner,

if I was feeling
particularly low,

I would
pull out that costume
and put it on.

You know, I used to do
the same thing, without
the pom-poms of course.

You are just determined not to
let me have a vulnerable moment,
aren't you?

You want to hog them
all to yourself.

Denny, we're getting older.

We don't even fit
in our outfits anymore,

but... we're not over.

Not by a long shot.

You're not over.

You know what used to
make me feel better
than anything?

If it's sexual,
I don't what to hear it.
No. No, no.

Okay.
No, it was back
when we...

were us.

You used to put
your head on my--
Denny!

I was gonna
say "shoulder."

That felt better
than anything.

I remember you sang
"You Are My Sunshine."

Would you-- Would you
do that just for a minute?

- Put your head
on my shoulder?
- Denny, uh--

I just want to remember.

I don't think my neck
even bends anymore.

Please. Hmm?
Sure.

Oh, this feels ju--

Would you put on
that cheerleader outfit
just for a--

Don't push it.

[ Sighs ]

* You are my sunshine

* My only sunshine

* You make me happy

* When skies
are gray *

* You'll never know, dear

* How much I love you

* Please don't take
my sunshine away **

[ Door Opens ]

Mr. Washington, hello.

May I call you Joseph?

How 'bout Chuckles then?

I realize you've formed
a special bond with Katie.

She pulled
a thorn from your paw,
like Aesop's fable.

But this is the real world,
and she's never tried
a case before.

I doubt very much
yours can be won.

But if there's any hope,

it's not Katie Lloyd.

You're not right for me.

Why is that?
You think I'm guilty.

Mr. Washington,

I have no idea if you're guilty
and, frankly, I don't care.

But here's the thing
about confessions...

and leaving semen
on a victim.

Your hand is on my knee.

It's either a threatening
gesture or sexual.

Either way,
I'm not comfortable.

I know about
the real world,
Mr. Shore.

I lived my whole life
in the real world.

Katie Lloyd
will be my lawyer.

I-Is he out of his mind?

I'd suggest he plead
insanity if I didn't
think he'd kill me.

So what happens now?
They have the motion to suppress
the confession at 11:00.

I hope to get back for that.

Alan, he cannot
trust his life
to Katie and Jerry.

[ Bailiff ]
All rise.

Be seated.

[ Judge Sanders ]
All right.

The case here
presents very complicated
and challenging issues...

which I find to be
extremely complicated...

and challenging.

I don't know what
Ms. Schmidt thought when
she pledged her donation.

Truth is,
I didn't understand half of
what was said by anybody!

Therefore,
as a matter of law,

there's been no meeting
of the minds.

Your Honor, it's not your mind
that need meet up with anything.

Silence!
I am the decider.

And I have made
my... deciding act.

There is no binding contract.

Judgment in favor
of Ms. Schmidt.

The law wins out
again... barely.
Alan, thank you.

Really.

Congratulations.
Thank you, Lorraine.

No hard feelings?

None. I assure you.

Oh, please.

All right, Ms. Lloyd.
I'll hear from you.

Thank you, Your Honor.

May it please the court,
the prosecution seeks
to admit as evidence...

an oral confession made by
our client, Joseph Washington,

which confession
upon information and belief...

was a product of a coercive,
involuntary and unconstitutional
interrogation...

lasting days in duration,
the entirety of which my client
was without counsel present,

pursuant to his
Sixth Amendment right.

Your Honor, the suspect
never asked for a lawyer.
In fact, he never said anything.

And the fact that
his confession was made after
a protracted interrogation...

does not
make it involuntary.

May it please the court,
I would argue...

that sleep deprivation
constitutes
physical discomfiture.

He was allowed to sleep.
He was left alone many times.

Never for more than an hour.
There was no bed. Just a chair
and a concrete floor.

Ninety percent of all
confessions are obtained
in exactly this way.

The suspect is worn down.

It's an accepted form
of police practice.

But that doesn't
make it right.

If you read the text,
Mr. Washington shouted out...

in frustrated defiance
repeatedly.

His so-called confession
was a product of duress.

So why not just argue that to
the jury and let them weigh in
on the probative value?

Well, first of all,
once you say "confession,"

people just draw
conclusions.

Second, Your Honor,
with all due respect,

the only means we would have
for challenging the validity
of the confession...

is to put our client
on the stand.

They get to introduce his prior
felonies, which could be more
prejudicial than the confession.

Look, I have no doubt that
your client was subjected
to relentless pressure,

but it didn't rise
to the point of coercion.

I'm going to allow the evidence
of the confession.

We'll see you all
in Division 16.
[ Gavel Raps ]

[ Men ]
* Big girls don't cry

* Big girls don't cry

* Big girls

* Don't cry-yi-yi
* They don't cry

* Big girls

* Don't cry

* Who said
they don't cry *

** [ Continues, Faint ]
We'll be fine.

What if I forget
to breathe?
We'll be okay.

- I think you should
go on first, Clarence.
- No.

We rehearsed it with you.

I know I shouldn't be
seeing the girls before
their wigs and pasties are on,

but here you go.

- Alan, thank you. You came.
- Of course I came.
This must be Doris.

Doris Thumper,
Alan Shore.

You look lovely.
Thank you.

Shirley wanted to come,
but she had a dinner.

- We're not going on.
- Yes, we are.

Maybe.

We're afraid.

Well, of course you are.
How could you not be?
It's a contest.

Oh, if only you knew
what I know.

What do you know?
That you're gonna
be great.

That when the wig goes on
and Clarice comes out,
and Doris begins to wiggle,

you're gonna be
spectacular.

* Big girls

* Don't cry
* They don't cry *

What are you doing here?

Oh, trying to acquire
some sort of comfort
with this room.

It's even bigger
than the last one.

I thought you were arguing
very well right up to...
when you froze.

Jerry, the idea
of me trying this case
is utterly ridiculous.

Do you think perhaps
you could first chair?

I could,
but there's a risk.

Sometimes jurors find me,

uh, different.
[ Chuckles ]

Why?

[ Chuckles ]

Surely you've noticed
I have a few odd tics.

Well, we all have our tics.
Some are just better
disguised than others.

From what I see,

making Joseph Washington
seem human and, if possible,
likable...

is our biggest
challenge here.

The jury can't help but
be struck by your humanity...

and kindness.

They'll be rooting
for you...

and, by association,
perhaps him.

I will be right by your side.
Together we can do this.

But Joseph Washington's
best chance is if the face
of our defense is you.

Clearly...

he seems to know that.

Okay, our third entry tonight
is a duet coming from
two very sexy ladies.

Singing a song from
the movie Hairspray,

please give a warm
King's Row welcome...

to Doris Thumper
and Clarice Bell!

- [ Cheering ]
- Hey, you made it!

Just in time.

* Yeah

* All right

* Mm-mm-mm-mm

* Bring on
that pecan pie *

* Pour some sugar on it
Sugar, don't be shy *

* Scoop me up a mess
of that chocolate swirl *

* Don't be stingy
I'm a growin' girl *

* I offer
* I offer big love
and no apology *

* How can I deny the world
the most of me *

* I am not afraid
to throw my weight around *

* Pound by pound by pound

* Because I'm big, blonde

* And beautiful

* Face the fact
It's simply irrefutable *

* No one wants a meal
that only offers the least *

* When, girl, we're servin' up
the whole damn feast *

* Oh, oh, oh, oh

* Slice me off a piece
of that hog head cheese *

- Whoo!
- * And take a look inside
my book of recipes *

* Now don't you sniff around
for something fluffy
and light *

* We need a man who brings
a man-size appetite *

[ Doris ]
* Use a pinch of sugar
and a dash of spice *

* Mmm, I'll let you
lick the spoon *

* Because it tastes so nice

* We'll keep it in my oven
till it's good and hot *

* Keep on stirrin'
till it hits the spot *

[ Both ]
* Because I'm big, blonde
and beautiful *

* There is nothin' 'bout us
that's unsuitable *

* Why sit in the bleachers
timid and afraid *

* When, Edna, you look
like the whole parade *

- * They say that
white has might *
- * And thin is in

* Well, that's just bull

* 'Cause, ladies, big is back
* And as for black

* It's beautiful

* All shapes and sizes
follow me *

* Who wants a twig
when you can climb
the whole tree *

* Yeah, yeah
Oh, you tell 'em, girl.
Tell 'em.

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah *

[ Crowd Cheering ]
** [ Band Ends ]

I know none of the facts
of this case.

I haven't even seen
the police report.

But look. Is that
a guilty man or what?

I mean, what kind
of society would presume
this animal innocent?

Look at him.
Put me on the jury.

I'll vote to fry him
before the trial even starts.

And that reminds me--
This for real?

Most trusted name in news.

Do we really care if they sizzle
a little before dying?

Boo-hoo. We're talking about
the scum of the earth here.

And we're supposed to
make it pleasant for them?
Come on!

We're throwing them
to the wolves,
Katie and Jerry.

Shirley, even if we did
put more lawyers on it,
there's nothing they could do.

Carl.
Hmm?

I need you
to tread more lightly.

This firm, it's not like
the New York branch.

Well, I could
always go back.

You know, Jerry said
I'm a poor fit.

I don't want you
to go back.

You sure?
Sure.

[ Woman ]
* You are my sunshine

* My only sunshine

* You make me happy

* When skies are gray

- * You'll never know, dear
- What's the occasion?

I got so inspired by Clarence's
performance as Clarice,

I decided to whip out
my Lennon Sisters dress.

- Should I put mine on?
- It's not necessary.

I just thought
I'd seize the silliness.
It's good for the heart.

Meanwhile, they made
the semifinals, Denny.

It was so thrilling
for us, for them.

Both of them, these two
terribly shy people...

basking in a spotlight
on a stage with everybody--

- Forget it!
- I was just looking.

Well, stop looking.
I don't like being objectified.

[ Scoffs ]

Mmm. Did you know...
that Shirley Schmidt has
a cheerleading costume?

- Sometimes she puts it on.
- Really?

Mm-hmm.
Can you imagine Shirley
doing a little cheer?

With a little pleated skirt
and the white socks?

- All of it.
- Oh, my God!

I so often think
how lucky we are...

to have as a senior partner
Shirley Schmidt.

And now in
a cheerleading outfit!

We're lucky, period.

We live good lives.

Yes, we do.

I mean, take your day,
for example.

- Sex in an elevator.
- Twice.

With a woman not your own.
Help save the environment.
Fight global warming.

Take in a rocking show
after work.

And then throw on a dress
as a nightcap.

And later, I get to
close my eyes and think--

Of Shirley Schmidt...

in a cheerleading costume.

Oh, my God.
A little pleated--

All of it. Oh.

We live
very good lives.

Indeed. Indeed.

** [ Woman Scatting ]

Next on Boston Legal.

I've hired
another associate.

- Great. A woman, I hope.
- Alan, Lorraine.
Lorraine, Alan.

- Still looking well.
- Do you have an answer yet?

- To what?
- Our baby.

Your hand is on my hip.

- I don't want you
coming on to her.
- Oh.

Did you have any thoughts
about who could have done this?

I knew who did it.
Joseph Washington.

Husbands have been known
to be biased against
their wives' killers.

I didn't kill her.

You need to be at your best
tomorrow, Jerry. Not going
to win this with razzle-dazzle.

[ Woman ]
You stinker!

Captioned by Captions, Inc.