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1
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♪ Kitty Shakes
If they're tired of nip ♪
2
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:18,750
♪ Kitty Shakes
If their step needs some zip♪
3
00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:22,543
♪ Kitty Shakes
Getting fit while they play♪
4
00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:25,245
♪ Give your cat a shake today♪
5
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:27,325
- Whoa. Awesome, buddy!
- Right on, Bubs!
6
00:00:27,416 --> 00:00:29,416
Fucking decent, right, boys?
7
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Oh, baby, having this little gold mine
as the signature drink,
8
00:00:32,916 --> 00:00:36,036
I think I can make enough
to fund a whole chain of Fuzz Aldrin's.
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00:00:36,125 --> 00:00:38,035
A whole chain of Fuzz What-drin's?
10
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:41,125
Fuzz Aldrin's, Ricky,
the space-themed catcafes
11
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,458
I've wanted to open for I don't know
how many fucking years now.
12
00:00:44,541 --> 00:00:47,291
You guys literally don't listen
to a fucking word I say, do you?
13
00:00:47,375 --> 00:00:48,285
Yes, we do, man.
14
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The song's catchy.
It's gonna be stuck in my head all day.
15
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Give your cat a shake today!
16
00:00:56,541 --> 00:00:57,701
- Ricky...
- Come here, buddy!
17
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,626
- What? No, Ricky!
- Ricky, come on.
18
00:00:59,708 --> 00:01:02,748
- Jesus Murphy!
- That's not what it means at all, man.
19
00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:03,673
What do you mean?
20
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:06,630
No, see, though,
this is great market research, Julian.
21
00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:09,208
Modify catchphrase.
22
00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:11,331
Bubs, it's fine. He's the only person
23
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- that would take it that way.
- Well, it's better safe than sorry.
24
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I can't risk kitty safety.
25
00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:18,415
I got too much into this.
I can't underestimate
26
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:19,790
- how people's brains...
- What?
27
00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:21,115
How much do you have into this?
28
00:01:21,708 --> 00:01:25,288
Oh, just… my life savings
plus a little loan I took out.
29
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:26,495
- Fuck.
- Christ, Bubs.
30
00:01:26,625 --> 00:01:29,205
Boys, Fuzz Aldrin's is a home run,
I'm telling you.
31
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Bubs, man, launching a business
isn't an easy thing to fucking do.
32
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:34,250
Why didn't you come to me for advice?
33
00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:37,213
'Cause I know what your advice would be,
and you can shove that advice
34
00:01:37,291 --> 00:01:39,331
- right in the eye of your cock!
- Come on, man.
35
00:01:39,416 --> 00:01:41,826
Julian, this is my dream,
and I believe in this thing.
36
00:01:41,916 --> 00:01:44,416
I fucking slaved over the formula
to get it just right,
37
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- and my kitties love it.
- Okay, all right.
38
00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:49,293
I managed to get myself
a meeting with the Petco chain,
39
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,665
- I applied to theDragons Tank TV show.
- Okay, Bubs.
40
00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:53,830
- I don't need your...
- All right, okay, calm down.
41
00:01:53,916 --> 00:01:55,716
- I can do this on my own!
- Bubs, we don't...
42
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:57,786
We just don't want to see you lose
all your money.
43
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Yeah, we just don't want you
to fuck up like you normally do.
44
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:04,253
- Oh, I normally fuck up my stuff, do I?
- Ricky, what did you say that for?
45
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,293
You two normally fuck up my stuff.
46
00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:08,705
That's what normally happens,
if you wanna get technical!
47
00:02:08,791 --> 00:02:11,831
- Bubs, that's not what he's trying to say.
- Well, you know what?
48
00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:14,996
You know what? Both of you,
get the fuck out of my shed, right now.
49
00:02:15,083 --> 00:02:16,883
Holy fuck.
Sorry, I didn't mean to get you all
50
00:02:16,916 --> 00:02:18,676
- fucking worked up.
- Well, you fucking did!
51
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,035
Holy fuck, I'm sorry, Bubs.
52
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:23,725
- Though I didn't do anything.
- Thanks for loaning us your truck.
53
00:02:23,791 --> 00:02:24,881
- Appreciate it.
- What?
54
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:27,791
Listen, you two stupidcocksuckers.
55
00:02:27,875 --> 00:02:31,665
You're not taking my fucking truck again.
I need my truck today.
56
00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,790
Fuck, Bubs,
it's just for a few hours, bud.
57
00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:35,705
I told you,
we need it to carry inventory.
58
00:02:35,791 --> 00:02:37,291
Holy fuck, talk about not listening.
59
00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:38,625
I listened to you, Ricky,
60
00:02:38,708 --> 00:02:41,078
and I fucking answered you,
as a matter of fact.
61
00:02:41,166 --> 00:02:43,286
I told you, you can't have it!
62
00:02:43,375 --> 00:02:45,955
Fuck, would you calm down?
Look, you can take my car.
63
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,881
- I thought your damn car wouldn't start.
- It won't.
64
00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:51,878
But you just have to rebuild the starter
or the alternator. No big deal...
65
00:02:51,958 --> 00:02:55,328
I'm not rebuilding your goddamn fucking
ignition system for you, Ricky!
66
00:02:55,416 --> 00:02:57,706
- Jesus Christ. Stop the truck.
- Suit yourself.
67
00:02:57,791 --> 00:03:00,461
Look, Bubs,
because it's your big day and everything,
68
00:03:00,541 --> 00:03:02,291
I'll let you take theMonte Carlo,
alright?
69
00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:06,245
- I don't want theMonte Car...
- Just take the fucking keys! C'mon!
70
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:08,463
And put 20 bucks in the tank,
we'll call it even.
71
00:03:08,541 --> 00:03:11,791
- Oh, put 20 bucks in the tank!
- It burns a lot of gas, Bubs!
72
00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:13,125
So, you're taking my truck
73
00:03:13,208 --> 00:03:14,928
'cause you need it
for your grease business,
74
00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:18,708
but I have to put 20 dollars
in your look-at-me-I'm-Knight-Rider
75
00:03:18,791 --> 00:03:19,831
fucking musclemobile!
76
00:03:19,916 --> 00:03:22,796
How are we supposed to pick up inventory
without your truck? It's Monday.
77
00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:24,715
Ricky, you put that fucking thing
back in gear,
78
00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:27,041
and I'm gonna fucking clobber you,
I'm warning you!
79
00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:28,825
- Have a good day, man.
- Yeah, bud.
80
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,460
Unbelievable!
81
00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:36,541
Every fucking time
I try to do something legit,
82
00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:40,075
I have to go up against Butch Ass-idy
and the Muscle-Dance Kid!
83
00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:41,536
Cocksucker!
84
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God, see?
Cocksucker knows just where to go, too.
85
00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:57,371
You think you're smarter than me, huh?
You're not! You're not smarter than me.
86
00:03:57,416 --> 00:03:58,956
Ricky, what... Calm the fuck down!
87
00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:01,916
It's an ice-cream cone.
It's not trying to beat you.
88
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,520
It thinks it's fucking better than me!
89
00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:05,903
- Don't you, you little piece of shit!
- It's not thinking.
90
00:04:05,927 --> 00:04:07,633
It's an ice-cream cone. It can't think.
91
00:04:07,708 --> 00:04:08,828
It's fucking pissing me off.
92
00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:10,915
- Stop talking to...
- Always trying to outsmart me.
93
00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:13,536
Ricky, it doesn't have a fucking brain,
you idiot!
94
00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:17,165
- What the fuck? Let go of the whee...
- Fuck, stay in the lane.
95
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,250
Fuck!
96
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:20,543
Oh, yeah. Fucking great.
97
00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:22,575
See? He made me blow a fucking tire.
98
00:04:22,666 --> 00:04:24,746
- Who did?
- The fucking asshole ice cream.
99
00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:27,963
- You fucking piece of shit.
- Ricky, would you get focused here?
100
00:04:28,041 --> 00:04:30,461
- Asshole.
- We've got the best business ever going,
101
00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:33,421
and you're gonna get us killed
trying to outsmart an ice-cream cone.
102
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:34,920
Look at him fucking looking at me.
103
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:38,420
- Looks like it can't fucking look at you.
- You fucking guess what, bud?
104
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:39,960
Fuck you! You're out of here!
105
00:04:40,041 --> 00:04:43,251
This new business is fucking awesome.
106
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:46,463
Getting into this, I didn't know shit
about online retail.
107
00:04:46,541 --> 00:04:48,751
But under this new business model
I came up with,
108
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,433
- you can't run out of inventory.
- Fuck!
109
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:53,168
- It's perfect.
- You fucking tit-milk whore!
110
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,830
Would you try to settle down?
I'm trying to talk here.
111
00:04:55,916 --> 00:04:59,456
It's hard work, but if you can put in
the time and pound the pavement,
112
00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:02,381
you can make a shit-ton of fucking money
selling this stuff.
113
00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:05,098
This new business may be the best thing
Julian's ever come up with.
114
00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:06,325
It was actually my idea
115
00:05:06,416 --> 00:05:09,666
and he just sort oftrinkled it down
to what it is, but it's fucking amazing.
116
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:12,390
One of my life rules for success
has always been that I don't work,
117
00:05:12,416 --> 00:05:13,746
and this is definitely not work.
118
00:05:13,833 --> 00:05:16,793
How could something be fucking work
when it feels like Christmas every day?
119
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,580
All right, man, let's get working, buddy.
120
00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:21,246
Yeah, let's fucking do this!
121
00:05:36,916 --> 00:05:38,326
Can I help you?
122
00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:42,830
Jesus, sorry,
just need you to sign for that right here.
123
00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:44,673
Thank you, young man.
124
00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:46,418
No problem.
125
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,250
Fuck off, you robot-talking fuck.
126
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:53,883
What the... Fuck!
127
00:05:53,958 --> 00:05:56,668
Jesus Christ,
will you stop trying to bite and fuck me,
128
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:57,830
you big, knobless fuck!
129
00:05:57,916 --> 00:05:59,236
Get the fuck off me!
130
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:01,260
Fucking little dick!
131
00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:06,286
Ten dollars on pump four, please.
132
00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:08,705
There you go. Ten back to you, sugar-stick.
133
00:06:08,791 --> 00:06:09,791
Sugar-stick?
134
00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:11,461
Thank you.
135
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,500
I'm a sugar-stick.
136
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:18,416
My nameis BubblesAnd I'm a little sugar-stick.
137
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,500
- I...
138
00:06:20,583 --> 00:06:23,043
Whoa, fuck! Hang on, you can't take that!
139
00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:25,325
Sorry, kid. I'm just doing my job.
140
00:06:25,416 --> 00:06:26,876
But I've got a big meeting!
141
00:06:26,958 --> 00:06:28,628
All my presentation materials!
142
00:06:29,875 --> 00:06:30,875
My materials…
143
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,038
are in there!
144
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,250
Son of a whore!
145
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:40,126
- Where are you going?
- I wanna take a drive
146
00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:41,828
by that place in Colby Village again.
147
00:06:41,916 --> 00:06:45,126
We've hit that place four times
in the last two weeks, and they got a dog.
148
00:06:45,208 --> 00:06:48,538
- I don't wanna get fucked by another dog.
- You won't. Every time we go there,
149
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,075
we get something awesome.
150
00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:52,576
And I wanna get something nice for Bubs
to chill him out.
151
00:06:52,666 --> 00:06:53,876
But you know what they say
152
00:06:53,958 --> 00:06:56,458
- when you try to rob wells too many times.
- No, what?
153
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,541
Rob a well once, shame on you.
154
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,995
Rob a well twice,
shame on the fucking well.
155
00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:04,003
- Oh, my fuck, man.
- Yeah. Shame on the fucking well.
156
00:07:04,083 --> 00:07:05,633
Boom! Check it out.
157
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,750
- Oh, my God.
- These guys just keep ordering shit.
158
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:09,633
Right on,
it must be something nice.
159
00:07:09,708 --> 00:07:11,268
It has a big, crazy f-word on the side!
160
00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:12,883
It's not a big, crazy word.
161
00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:14,708
- What does it say then?
- It's "fragile."
162
00:07:14,791 --> 00:07:16,171
- It's what?
- "Fragile"!
163
00:07:16,708 --> 00:07:19,538
- What does that mean?
- Fuck, just get the fuck out of the car.
164
00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:21,495
You can do this, Bubbles.
165
00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:24,745
Dab that blood off there,
and I should be fine.
166
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:27,503
All right, Bubbles, this is it.
167
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,170
One little minor setback, but you're here.
168
00:07:30,541 --> 00:07:33,881
You made it, and you are gonna nail it
because you are exceptional.
169
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:36,420
Do it for the kitties.
170
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:39,830
Hi there.
171
00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:43,458
I know I'm a teensy little bit late,
but I have an appointment to see...
172
00:07:43,541 --> 00:07:44,831
He's gone, you missed it. Sorry.
173
00:07:44,916 --> 00:07:47,786
What? No, he's gonna wanna hear
about my Kitty Shakes.
174
00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:50,125
You missed him, he's gone. Sorry.
175
00:07:50,666 --> 00:07:53,166
But...
176
00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:55,125
I'm a sugar-stick.
177
00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:03,416
Fuck.
178
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,540
Dirty cocksuckers.
179
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000
How'd the meeting go?
180
00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:14,801
You're drinking, must have went well.
Did it?
181
00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:17,043
Didn't even happen, actually, boys.
182
00:08:17,125 --> 00:08:20,325
You wanna take a slippery horse cock
of a fucking guess why?
183
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,416
What happened? And…
184
00:08:21,916 --> 00:08:22,746
where's my car?
185
00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:25,213
Well, 'cause you sent me off
in the fucking thing
186
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:27,041
with 100 unpaid parking tickets,
187
00:08:27,125 --> 00:08:28,875
your car got impounded, Julian.
188
00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:31,918
I had to walk two fucking miles,
and I missed the guy
189
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,630
I was supposed to have the meeting with
in the first place!
190
00:08:34,708 --> 00:08:37,128
- Whoo-hoo, baby!
- Bubbles, Bubs.
191
00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:38,828
Where's the fucking Carlo?
192
00:08:38,916 --> 00:08:40,326
It's at the fucking impound
193
00:08:40,416 --> 00:08:42,916
with the rest of the criminal vehicles.
194
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,880
Oh, for fuck's sakes, are you kidding me?
Why'd you let them take it?
195
00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:48,378
Oh, let's play a game, actually, Julian.
196
00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:50,628
Why don't you take a fiddler's fuck
of a guess
197
00:08:50,708 --> 00:08:54,918
what you can form a hydraulic seal around
with your big, muscular lips.
198
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,420
- Take a fucking guess!
- I'd guess cock, if I was you.
199
00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,620
- He wants you to blow him, or...
- Would you shut up?
200
00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:02,995
Ding! That's right, Ricky.
Tell him what he wins!
201
00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:06,793
You win two beautiful nights
with your lips around…
202
00:09:06,875 --> 00:09:08,495
my cock, Julian!
203
00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:10,213
- Real nice.
- Calm down, it's all right.
204
00:09:10,291 --> 00:09:12,001
Yeah, look, so the... We're sorry, Bubs.
205
00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:13,843
We appreciate you loaning the truck,
so look.
206
00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:16,995
- We got you something as a thank-you.
- Yeah, well, I don't fucking want it.
207
00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:19,713
That's fine. Don't open it
if you don't want to, but…
208
00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:20,711
just so you know,
209
00:09:20,791 --> 00:09:23,031
the last time we got a package
from that place last week,
210
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:24,293
it was a fucking iPad.
211
00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:25,745
Yeah, and the time before that,
212
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:28,383
we got a fucking RC helicopter,
the one I gave to Mo.
213
00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:29,708
Oh!
214
00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:32,501
Well, you can take
your fucking stolen iPad
215
00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:33,923
and your RC helicopter,
216
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,040
and you can drill it
right into your collective piss holes,
217
00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:39,495
'cause I don't want a fucking thing
to do with any of it.
218
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:41,003
Okay, then suit yourself, buddy.
219
00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:44,503
But, you know, I'll leave it right here,
just in case you change your mind.
220
00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:52,633
I don't want anything to do
with that stolen bullshit. Yup.
221
00:09:54,291 --> 00:09:56,581
Not the least bit interested, I'm not.
222
00:09:58,375 --> 00:09:59,785
Not one bit.
223
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,290
"Fragile."
224
00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:05,665
Yeah, just another way to say
"fucking built like shit."
225
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:12,578
Wouldn't probably hurt to take
one little tiny peekinside, though.
226
00:10:13,208 --> 00:10:15,998
That's not really opening anything.
That's just looking.
227
00:10:16,541 --> 00:10:17,541
Just looking.
228
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:22,500
Fuck! Fucking fucker!
229
00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:27,883
Holy, sweet flying fuck! What happened?
230
00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:31,503
The package was a fucking glitter bomb,
that's what happened, Ricky.
231
00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:33,833
A glitter bomb?
Who the fuck would order a glitter bomb?
232
00:10:33,916 --> 00:10:36,286
They didn't fucking order it, dumbass!
233
00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,285
It was set as a trap, look at that!
234
00:10:38,375 --> 00:10:39,205
See that?
235
00:10:39,291 --> 00:10:42,961
This was a trap set by somebody
who was pissed off at someone else
236
00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:45,711
for repeatedly stealing
their fucking packages.
237
00:10:45,791 --> 00:10:47,711
Oh, figure that one out, boys.
238
00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:49,536
Oh, my God.
239
00:10:49,625 --> 00:10:51,625
Everything's ruined. Look at this.
240
00:10:51,708 --> 00:10:53,248
I officially give up!
241
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,173
Oh, come on, buddy, it's not that bad.
242
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,750
Not that bad, Ricky?
243
00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:57,963
It looks like Liberace
244
00:10:58,041 --> 00:11:01,041
just jacked a big load
all over fucking everything I own.
245
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:02,825
Hey, Bubbles, I have something for you.
246
00:11:02,916 --> 00:11:05,036
Fuck off, Randy.
Now is not a good time, bud.
247
00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:08,575
Wow, Bubbles,
I really like what you did with your shed.
248
00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:09,876
It's real pretty!
249
00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:12,208
How come you're dressed up like CP-103?
250
00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:13,961
What the fuck do you want, Randy?
251
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:17,041
A letter came in forBubbles
at the office. Special delivery.
252
00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:19,415
Oh, my God, holy fuck.
253
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,670
You got accepted onDragons Tank, buddy!
254
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:22,580
What?
255
00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:26,496
- Oh, well, that's just fucking great.
- Fucking right it is. That's awesome!
256
00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:29,583
I was being sarcastic, Ricky!
Look at all my stuff!
257
00:11:29,666 --> 00:11:30,496
Yeah?
258
00:11:30,583 --> 00:11:31,923
"Hi there, my name'sBubbles,
259
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,420
and I'd like to sell you
my paint-covered shit bomb,
260
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,880
which you can't even see
the fucking logo on anymore,
261
00:11:36,958 --> 00:11:40,328
'cause my two friends are arseholes
and destroyed my entire business.
262
00:11:40,416 --> 00:11:43,076
Now give me a million dollars,
please!"
263
00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:46,706
- That ain't gonna fucking happen.
- Listen, we fucked this up on you,
264
00:11:46,791 --> 00:11:48,211
- but we'll make this right.
- Yeah.
265
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:51,251
We can do this. Trust me, man.
I promise you, bud.
266
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,956
Welcome tothe Dragons Tank,
267
00:11:58,041 --> 00:12:00,881
where four self-made entrepreneurs
worth billions
268
00:12:00,958 --> 00:12:04,288
invest in products
they believe can make them money.
269
00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:07,958
Okay.
270
00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:10,543
How do I look, boys?
Is the paint fading yet?
271
00:12:10,625 --> 00:12:12,705
Yeah, I think it actually is.
272
00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:15,991
- You really can't even notice it anymore.
- You can't notice it? Are you fucked?
273
00:12:16,041 --> 00:12:18,161
- Ricky...
- It's shinier under these lights.
274
00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:20,746
You're like one of those gold statutes
that themovie dicks win.
275
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:23,213
Yeah, okay, you know what?
I can't do this.
276
00:12:23,291 --> 00:12:27,171
This is a fucking terrible idea.
It's a shitty product.They'll hate it.
277
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:30,210
- I'm gonna have a meltdown.
- Bubs, look, it's not a shitty product.
278
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,291
Yeah, man.
279
00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:35,958
- Fuck, it's got a strong taste, huh?
- Well, yeah, Julian, it's for cats!
280
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,460
Holy fuck, Bubs,
it's incredible with rum, man!
281
00:12:40,541 --> 00:12:41,961
Did you try it with liquor yet?
282
00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:43,921
Why in the fuck
would I try it with liquor?
283
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,380
My kitties don't drink liquor,
they eat protein!
284
00:12:46,458 --> 00:12:48,378
Bodybuilders've been trying to figure out
285
00:12:48,458 --> 00:12:51,498
a good-tasting protein shake
with a liquor base for a long time.
286
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,673
- Maybe we should...
- No fucking way.
287
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:57,920
You're not hijacking my business
and turning it into goddamn muscle rum!
288
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,920
"Muscle Rum"! Holy shit, man.
That's perfect, Bubs!
289
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,710
- Think about it.
- I don't have to think about it, I inv...
290
00:13:03,791 --> 00:13:06,831
Okay, guys! Here we go. In three, two…
291
00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:09,416
First into the tank
292
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,325
are three entrepreneurs
who believe they may have
293
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,286
the newest crazefor the pet industry.
294
00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:17,961
Hi, Dragon Tank folks.
295
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:21,251
My name isBubbles,
and I'm here seeking an investment from...
296
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:24,293
Excuse me, can you put that cigarette out?
There's no smoking.
297
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,665
First of all,
it's not a cigarette there, bud.
298
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:29,380
It's a joint.And it's legal now,
so who gives a fuck?
299
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:32,498
It's not legal to smoke anything
in the building, so can you put it out?
300
00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:34,705
Just put the fucking thing out!
301
00:13:34,791 --> 00:13:36,961
Fucking rich, suit-wearing dick.
302
00:13:37,041 --> 00:13:38,131
Sorry, what was that?
303
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,538
Fuck off. I mumbled something
304
00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:41,425
you weren't supposed to hear,
and you know it.
305
00:13:41,458 --> 00:13:42,668
- Ricky!
- What?
306
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:43,790
My name isBubbles,
307
00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:47,035
and I'm the CEO
of Kitty Shakes Incorporated.
308
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:50,205
I'm here seeking an investment
from you guys.
309
00:13:50,291 --> 00:13:52,631
Sorry, I have to ask. Why are you gold?
310
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,708
Uh, I had a little paint accident.
311
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:58,081
- Uh, I was...
- You look like a bozo,
312
00:13:58,166 --> 00:13:59,206
just so you're aware.
313
00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:00,381
But please continue.
314
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:03,328
I'm here seeking 100 thousand...
315
00:14:03,416 --> 00:14:04,416
More.
316
00:14:04,666 --> 00:14:05,826
I'm here seeking…
317
00:14:06,708 --> 00:14:10,628
One hundred fifty thousand dollars
and...
318
00:14:11,041 --> 00:14:13,671
Cocksucker! That's really fucking burning.
319
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:15,920
Oh, it's right in there.
320
00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:17,291
I'm here…
321
00:14:17,541 --> 00:14:21,131
trying to keep my cool, and I am seeking…
322
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:22,578
Oh, fuck'ssakes.
323
00:14:22,958 --> 00:14:24,458
I'm seeking an investment…
324
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,080
Are you pissing your pants?
325
00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:29,286
That's awkward, champ.
326
00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:32,665
That's a first, I must say.
He's pissing his pants! I'm out.
327
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:35,210
Honestly, Kevin, you are such a bully.
328
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,881
Listen, it's okay.
Do you need to take a minute?
329
00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:41,131
I'm sorry, ma'am, maybe…
Maybe that would be good.
330
00:14:41,208 --> 00:14:42,958
Yeah, I think we've seen enough here.
331
00:14:43,041 --> 00:14:46,541
Oh, fuck off, dickhead.
Like you've never pissed yourself before!
332
00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:48,285
Okay, let's go, guys.
333
00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:49,625
No pissing on the set,
334
00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:51,878
and you can't tell the Dragons
to fuck off.
335
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,598
Well, I'm gonna ask them to suck my cock,
336
00:14:53,666 --> 00:14:56,376
lick my balls,
and finger my fucking asshole!
337
00:14:56,458 --> 00:14:58,708
And blow me!
338
00:14:58,791 --> 00:15:00,961
Oh, my fuck, that was horrible!
339
00:15:01,041 --> 00:15:04,711
I pissed myself on the TV, boys!
I'm never gonna recover from that.
340
00:15:04,791 --> 00:15:07,711
Yes, you will.
I pissed myself on the TV lots of times.
341
00:15:07,791 --> 00:15:11,081
Wow. Did you really just do that?
342
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:12,706
Why don't you go fuck yourself?
343
00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:14,706
Next into the DragonTank,
344
00:15:14,791 --> 00:15:17,581
an entrepreneur who claims
he's made an improvement…
345
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:18,666
to the wheel.
346
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,670
This is how it's done, boys!
Watch and learn.
347
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,330
Nah, you know what? Fuck this.
348
00:15:23,416 --> 00:15:25,626
Bubs, go get yourself cleaned up.
I got this.
349
00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:26,578
Come on, Rick.
350
00:15:26,666 --> 00:15:27,916
Wait, what are you doing?
351
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,710
I'm making a fucking deal, Bubs,
that's what I'm doing.
352
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:32,880
Hello, Dragons!
353
00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:36,128
My name is Carl Hammersmith,
and I'm here...
354
00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,628
Sorry, Carl. You're done.
Get the fuck out of the way.
355
00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:41,748
- I'm sorry?
- You heard me, nipple tits. Fuck off.
356
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:44,133
- Whoa, guys. What are you doing?
- What the fuck?
357
00:15:44,208 --> 00:15:46,408
You guys can't just come back out here.
Get out of here!
358
00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:47,748
Just listen up, please, sir.
359
00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:49,833
I apologize for what happened in here
a minute ago,
360
00:15:49,875 --> 00:15:51,285
but our friend gets a bit nervous.
361
00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:53,415
But we didn't get a chance
to finish our pitch.
362
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:56,380
So everyone's aware, Carl tried to grab
my cock and balls backstage.
363
00:15:56,458 --> 00:16:00,288
We apologize. Listen,
what do you guys have for us this time?
364
00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:01,495
Just let me do the talking.
365
00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:04,501
Hi, my name isJulian,
this is my associate Ricky,
366
00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:08,173
and we're seeking $5 million
for a 10 percent stake in our company,
367
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,040
- Muscle Rum.
- What are you talking about?
368
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:11,375
Just shut up.
369
00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:13,668
Now, I can tell
you guys like to work out a lot,
370
00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:16,110
and if you're like me,
you like to have eight to ten drinks,
371
00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:18,626
but don't want to interfere
with your workout schedule.
372
00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:20,328
Hand these out, please.
373
00:16:20,916 --> 00:16:23,206
With 40 grams of protein per bottle,
374
00:16:23,291 --> 00:16:27,251
you can get the protein you need
without sacrificing your alcohol intake.
375
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:28,833
It's a win-win situation.
376
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:31,166
- It's actually pretty good.
- Here's where I'm at.
377
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:34,000
First off, most people
don't have six to ten drinks a day.
378
00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:35,423
Oh, fuck, I do.
379
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,670
There's a shocker.
380
00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:39,350
The thing is, you guys,
most people who are trying to get in shape
381
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:40,706
don't drink at all.
382
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,923
I think this idea is completely bananas.
I'm out.
383
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,210
There's not even any banana in it,
you fucking dummy.
384
00:16:46,291 --> 00:16:47,211
It's a "coke-na-nut."
385
00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:49,171
- Would you stop your swearing?
- What swearing?
386
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:53,540
Let me get this straight. You're asking
for $5 million for 10 percent.
387
00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:57,125
That means you're valuing the company
at 50 million smackeroos.
388
00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:58,288
Do you have any sales?
389
00:16:58,375 --> 00:17:01,415
Uh, well, nothing yet, at the moment.
390
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:04,670
But it's gonna fly off the shelves.
Just trust me on this one.
391
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,170
Where you gonna sell this crap?
392
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:07,170
Out of my trailer.
393
00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:08,250
Out of my trailer?
394
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:10,923
I don't invest in anything
with an expiration date.
395
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,000
I'm out.
396
00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:15,291
Look, guys, you have an insane valuation.
You got no sales, no proof.
397
00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:18,875
Are you kidding me? Ten proof?
That's not a drink, that's not alcohol.
398
00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:20,498
And for those reasons, I'm out.
399
00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:22,293
I guess you don't have a patent on it.
400
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,995
You can pat it if you want,
but… it mixes better if you shake it.
401
00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:28,133
Wow, you could be the stupidest person
who's ever been on this show.
402
00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:29,288
Know that? You're an idiot.
403
00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:32,285
Oh, yeah? Why don't you lick
my smoothly-shaven bag
404
00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:35,035
from my taint to my tip,
you bald, rich fuck!
405
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:39,415
This is quite possibly the worst pitch
that's ever happened on the show.
406
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:42,000
You're gonna get crushed
like the cockroaches you are.
407
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:44,463
What the fuck did you just call me?
408
00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:46,631
A roach that crawls on someone's cock?
409
00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:49,538
- What are you gonna do, hit me?
- Yeah, actually, I am!
410
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:51,325
Boom! Fuck you!
411
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:53,880
Dicks!
412
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,330
- Fuck!
- Jesus H. Christ,
413
00:17:55,416 --> 00:17:56,916
what the fuck are you guys doing?
414
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,380
They fucking started it, Bubbles.
415
00:17:58,458 --> 00:17:59,898
That's bullshit. Your friend here...
416
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:01,538
He's not my friend, actually.
417
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:02,915
He's one of two people
418
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,580
who are constantly fucking up
everything I try to do!
419
00:18:05,666 --> 00:18:08,626
All right, everybody just stop
and calm down.
420
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:11,538
So, let me get this right.
You're not involved in Muscle Rum?
421
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,540
- In what? Muscle Rum?
- I was doing it for you. I swear to fuck.
422
00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:17,205
You were doing it for me?
423
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:20,041
Look, man, I know Kitty Shakes
is your dream, and I just thought
424
00:18:20,125 --> 00:18:21,785
if I could make a deal with Muscle Rum,
425
00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:23,745
we could use themoney
to get it going for you.
426
00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:25,673
Oh, yeah, right, do it for me.
427
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:28,750
Bubs, I'm serious. I was...
The money was going towards you, man.
428
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:31,383
I'd never take fucking Kitty Shakes
from you, I swear to fuck.
429
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,168
What exactly is Kitty Shakes?
430
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,580
I love the name.
431
00:18:34,666 --> 00:18:37,956
Kitty Shakes is a delicious
and nutritious protein beverage
432
00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:40,291
that promotes a healthy coat
and strong bones.
433
00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:43,923
I love kitties
more than anything elseon the planet,
434
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,290
and they really do love it.
435
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:46,246
That's true.
436
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,245
- So, you've tested it, right?
- Yes, ma'am.
437
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:52,633
I've tested on the 126 free-range kitties
that I look after,
438
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:54,788
and I haven't had one single complaint.
439
00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:57,785
You've got 126 cats?
440
00:18:57,875 --> 00:19:01,125
Uh, give or take a few
in either direction because…
441
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,788
some of my kitties are nomadic.
442
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,495
That's really great
that you take care of so many animals.
443
00:19:05,583 --> 00:19:07,543
You really love cats that much?
444
00:19:07,625 --> 00:19:10,575
I love cats
more than anything else on the planet.
445
00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:13,376
No matter what happens in your life,
446
00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,458
kitties are always there for you.
447
00:19:15,541 --> 00:19:17,131
They don't judge you or…
448
00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:18,918
call you names, or…
449
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,040
make fun of your glasses. They're just…
450
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:23,710
there to dole out the love
unconditionally,
451
00:19:23,791 --> 00:19:25,131
and that's what I do for them.
452
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:29,081
And I think if everyone else
thought like a kitty does…
453
00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:31,376
the world would be a much better place.
454
00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:32,998
That was touching.
455
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:37,043
You seem like such a very genuine person,
Bubbles. I'd like to make you an offer.
456
00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:39,035
- You would?
- Here's the deal.
457
00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:41,825
I'm gonna give you
exactly what you have into the business,
458
00:19:41,916 --> 00:19:42,786
but here's the catch:
459
00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:44,745
I want 50 percent equity in the company.
460
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,213
Fifty percent? Well...
461
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:49,501
- Yeah, you know what? Fifty percent, I...
- One more thing.
462
00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:52,463
You have to promise me
you're gonna cut ties with your partners
463
00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:54,001
completely and immediately.
464
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:55,633
What? Cut ties?
465
00:19:56,041 --> 00:19:56,881
Like…
466
00:19:56,958 --> 00:19:58,828
don't talk to them anymore, cut ties?
467
00:19:58,916 --> 00:20:00,246
I gotta be straight with you,
468
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:04,043
the business is never gonna succeed
with guys like this around you,
469
00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:07,455
or anywhere near you.
Sorry, no offense, you guys.
470
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:11,581
I believe Kitty Shakes
could make you a millionaire very quickly.
471
00:20:11,666 --> 00:20:13,286
But that's only gonna happen
472
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:15,375
if you stay away
from these two ding-dongs.
473
00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:16,578
Or I'm just not interested.
474
00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:19,536
Cut ties with my best friends
to be a millionaire?
475
00:20:19,625 --> 00:20:20,995
Those are your best friends?
476
00:20:21,083 --> 00:20:24,713
Come on, this is a no-brainer.
And so are they. Idiots.
477
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,631
You got an offer.
What are you going to do?
478
00:20:26,708 --> 00:20:27,708
Well...
479
00:20:28,291 --> 00:20:29,461
this is a no-brainer.
480
00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:33,830
So, I'd like to…
politely decline your offer, ma'am.
481
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:37,670
Look, I know these two
fuck up a lot, like…
482
00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:40,246
a lot, but...
483
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,633
they're my family,
and no amount of money in the world
484
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:43,998
would be worth losing them over.
485
00:20:44,083 --> 00:20:47,003
Whoa, worst decision I've ever seen.
486
00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:49,543
Actually, that's what friends do,
right there.
487
00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:52,205
You're lucky to have that guy, fellas.
Well done!
488
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:54,580
- Love you, buddy.
- Yeah, man, me too.
489
00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:56,825
Love you guys, too.
490
00:20:56,916 --> 00:20:58,716
We'll get Kitty Shakes going,
don't you worry.
491
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,251
We don't need anybody's help.
492
00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:01,955
I know, Julian.
493
00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:04,793
Let's just go the fuck home, boys.
494
00:21:05,583 --> 00:21:08,133
Fuck, I forgot. I was supposed to give
each of you one of these.
495
00:21:09,041 --> 00:21:11,461
Fuck you, fucking rich dickheads!
496
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,830
There you go, Cat Benatar.
497
00:21:16,916 --> 00:21:17,826
Good as new.
498
00:21:19,541 --> 00:21:21,751
♪ Hit me with your left paw♪
499
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:24,423
♪ Come on and hit me with your left paw♪
500
00:21:25,791 --> 00:21:27,251
Bubs, come check it out!
501
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:31,080
Hey, boys. Look who got his car back.
502
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:34,706
Yeah, man, just got it all cleaned, too.
Bubs, check this out.
503
00:21:34,791 --> 00:21:35,671
What is it?
504
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,290
It's a glitter bomb.
505
00:21:37,375 --> 00:21:40,875
Well, it's a super-duper, suck-my-cock
fucking glitter bomb, actually.
506
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,420
What? Where did it come from?
507
00:21:43,833 --> 00:21:45,503
I made it. It was really fucking easy.
508
00:21:45,583 --> 00:21:47,253
It's got CO2, glitter,
509
00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:48,793
nails, dog shit,
510
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:51,825
Jacob and Cory's piss,
Jacob and Cory's pubes.
511
00:21:51,916 --> 00:21:53,796
We'll get the cocksucker
who glitter-bombed you.
512
00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:54,880
It's gonna be awesome!
513
00:21:54,958 --> 00:21:57,328
What the fuck are you talking about here?
514
00:21:57,416 --> 00:21:59,666
Look, Bubs, we're sorry for the way
shit went down today,
515
00:21:59,750 --> 00:22:02,630
so we thought we'd get
some chicken pizzas, booze, and dope,
516
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:05,248
and go to that dick's house
for a good old-fashioned stakeout,
517
00:22:05,333 --> 00:22:06,883
like they do in the fuckingmovies.
518
00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:11,538
Boys, I don't want
to get into a fucking back-and-forth war.
519
00:22:11,625 --> 00:22:13,625
I mean, he was only pissed off
in the first place
520
00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:16,458
'cause it was you two robbing him
pretty much on a daily basis.
521
00:22:16,541 --> 00:22:17,581
Okay, man, that's cool.
522
00:22:17,666 --> 00:22:19,386
You don't have to come
if you don't want to.
523
00:22:19,416 --> 00:22:21,326
But nobody fucks
with our best friend, man.
524
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:22,828
It's fine, Julian!
525
00:22:22,916 --> 00:22:25,036
- No, it's not.
- No, it's definitely fucking not.
526
00:22:25,125 --> 00:22:27,075
This fucker's gonna be sorry
he fucked with you.
527
00:22:27,166 --> 00:22:30,036
But when you think about it,
he actually didn't fuck with me.
528
00:22:30,125 --> 00:22:33,125
All he was trying to do... Oh, yeah. Okay.
529
00:22:33,208 --> 00:22:35,958
We won't be long, buddy.
We'll bring you back some chicken pizza!
530
00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:39,823
- Jesus Christ!
531
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,541
There's a nail in my bag!
532
00:22:41,565 --> 00:22:43,630
And Cory and Jacob's pubes
are in my mouth! Fuck!
533
00:24:02,416 --> 00:24:07,826
Oh fuck.
534
00:24:07,916 --> 00:24:09,456
Jesus Christ!
535
00:24:15,708 --> 00:24:16,788
Fuck off.
43572
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