Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,682 --> 00:00:03,582
2
00:00:11,666 --> 00:00:14,996
Order! You will not use that language
in this court.
3
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,673
What's wrong with you, son?
4
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:19,420
I'll tell you what's wrong with me.
The fucking government.
5
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,380
If they hadn't fucked up
and ran out of weed,
6
00:00:21,458 --> 00:00:23,578
I wouldn't have had to grow my own
to help people out.
7
00:00:23,625 --> 00:00:25,075
If the fucking government
ran out of bread, what?
8
00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:26,786
I wouldn't be allowed to bake
my own fucking bread?
9
00:00:26,875 --> 00:00:29,665
I'd just have to starve to death?
This is fucked. You're fucked.
10
00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:30,790
- Ricky!
- Chill out.
11
00:00:30,875 --> 00:00:33,785
Order! You will watch the way
you address this court.
12
00:00:33,875 --> 00:00:35,165
Your Honor, this is ridiculous.
13
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:37,750
This man is not capable
of representing himself.
14
00:00:37,833 --> 00:00:39,673
Is that right?
Well, the only thing you are capable of
15
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:42,190
is shaving my bag hair off
using your fucking big horse teeth.
16
00:00:43,291 --> 00:00:45,291
Ricky! Jesus Murphy!
17
00:00:45,375 --> 00:00:47,665
Your Honor, this man is making a mockery
of this court.
18
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,880
Why don't you mock my cock, suity!
19
00:00:49,958 --> 00:00:53,168
Anytime you wanna fuckin' go,
let's fuckin' go! Cape Breton style!
20
00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:55,460
Order! Order in the goddamn court.
21
00:00:56,166 --> 00:00:58,326
I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
I'm just pissed off.
22
00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:00,736
The government promised weed,
and ran out of the good stuff
23
00:01:00,825 --> 00:01:02,425
in three weeks. That's fucking bullshit.
24
00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:05,580
I understand, but that does not allow you
to sell marijuana
25
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:09,416
- in front of the liquor store.
- What? Never fucking happened.
26
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:16,710
Oh, you think that's me?
27
00:01:16,791 --> 00:01:18,631
I don't even wear glasses.
And even if it was,
28
00:01:18,708 --> 00:01:21,348
it would've been me handing out drugs
at the liquor store for free,
29
00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:22,536
not fucking selling them.
30
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:25,575
Fifteen bucks a gram.
It's the best weed you'll ever smoke.
31
00:01:25,666 --> 00:01:28,496
Or buy from them,
but all they have left is shit dope.
32
00:01:29,375 --> 00:01:33,825
Okay, I was selling a tiny bit of dope,
but it was pretty much at my cost.
33
00:01:33,916 --> 00:01:36,626
And I just needed milk and some cereal
for my gramson's breakfast.
34
00:01:36,708 --> 00:01:40,378
Son, when was the last time
you had a real job, a legitimate job?
35
00:01:40,916 --> 00:01:43,826
I guess in jail. I worked in the kitchen
in jail and the wood shop.
36
00:01:43,916 --> 00:01:47,206
- I made hammers in the metal shop...
- I'm talking about a real job.
37
00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:49,421
I mean, there are no jobs on your record.
38
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,330
According to this,
you've never even paid taxes.
39
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,746
I know. Awesome, huh?
40
00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:57,383
Mom, is the judge calling Grampy a bum?
41
00:01:57,458 --> 00:01:58,958
Quiet, Mo-Mo.
42
00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:00,791
Well, that's because my brain works
43
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:02,995
at too smart a level
for most jobs, little buddy.
44
00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:05,323
And nobody hires people with "records,"
Your Judgeliness.
45
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,785
It's not fucking easy.
Not that you'd fucking know.
46
00:02:07,875 --> 00:02:10,915
Now, you listen to me
and listen good, goddammit.
47
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,420
I'm gonna let you off with a warning,
but I'm telling you right now:
48
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,290
No more selling drugs.
49
00:02:16,375 --> 00:02:18,875
And get a job! Do you understand me?
50
00:02:18,958 --> 00:02:20,638
Sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you.
51
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:23,168
Maybe the ceiling fans
or the dust bugs buzzling around?
52
00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:25,630
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Fuck off.
53
00:02:25,708 --> 00:02:26,708
What was that?
54
00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:28,830
I said, "Right on." See?
It's hard to hear in here.
55
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:32,326
- Apparently, you're not understanding me.
- Apparently,
56
00:02:32,416 --> 00:02:34,746
- you're fucked in the head...
- Ricky, watch your mouth!
57
00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:38,673
Jesus! Look, I'm sorry, Your Honor.
He understands. I'll make sure of it.
58
00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:41,960
Get out of my court,
and if I see you in front of me again,
59
00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:43,881
I'll make an example out of you.
60
00:02:43,958 --> 00:02:45,328
Are we clear?
61
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:48,246
Ricky, just be nice.
62
00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:50,208
Crystally, Your Worshipness.
63
00:03:00,083 --> 00:03:02,543
Why do you have to talk to judges
like that?
64
00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:04,705
- Don't like them.
- Well, just get me the fuck home.
65
00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:06,131
I gotta feed my kitties.
66
00:03:07,208 --> 00:03:10,378
You fucking son of a ditch bitch!
Fucking whore!
67
00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,898
This fucking car battery's been acting
like an asshole lately.
68
00:03:12,922 --> 00:03:15,416
Haven't you? Huh? Oh, fuck.
You think you're better than me?
69
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,420
Go fuck yourself.
70
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,960
Rick, for fuck'ssakes, man,
you're talking to a car battery right now.
71
00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:21,331
- So?
- Settle down.
72
00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:24,706
- Dad, calm down.
- What's a "ditch bitch whore"?
73
00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:26,871
You'll find out soon enough about that,
little buddy.
74
00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:28,036
I don't have time for this.
75
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,995
My kitties could be staging a shit mutiny
at home right now.
76
00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:32,383
A shit mutiny?
77
00:03:32,458 --> 00:03:33,958
If you don't feed kitties,
78
00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:36,381
they will shit on your pillow
out of spite.
79
00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:40,038
Well, I guess we're walking, then.
Unless one of you guys has some cash.
80
00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:44,330
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
- Well, I don't walk. You guys know that.
81
00:03:44,416 --> 00:03:48,246
- Well, just hang on, I got an Uber coming.
- You better go find a fucking bathroom.
82
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:50,213
You're not fuckingUbering
in my car there, bud.
83
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:51,750
Do you know what an Uber is?
84
00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:53,213
It's a shit, isn't it?
85
00:03:54,041 --> 00:03:55,041
Let me get this straight.
86
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:56,885
You're justa regular guy
with a regular car,
87
00:03:56,916 --> 00:03:58,916
and you're making extra money
giving people drives?
88
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,000
That's basically it.
89
00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:00,923
Is it legit?
90
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,210
- Of course.
- Well, how much money do you make?
91
00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:04,831
I'm making a few hundred a week.
92
00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:07,456
Holy fuck, that's crazy.
Maybe I could do this.
93
00:04:07,541 --> 00:04:10,581
I mean, that would be a real job,
and I fucking like driving.
94
00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:13,576
Whoa, what the fuck are you doing?
You can't smoke in here.
95
00:04:13,666 --> 00:04:15,956
Why the fuck not?
I thought you said it was your car.
96
00:04:16,041 --> 00:04:18,631
It's my car, but company rules,
no smoking.
97
00:04:18,708 --> 00:04:20,388
And there's a kid in here, for fuck sakes.
98
00:04:20,416 --> 00:04:21,746
Smoking is cool.
99
00:04:21,833 --> 00:04:25,713
Are you fucking serious right now, bud?
What is this, a fucking nerd taxi?
100
00:04:25,791 --> 00:04:29,131
Well, there goes that idea, boys.
Fuck being an Uber nerd.
101
00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:30,958
Thanks for the great fucking ride.
102
00:04:31,041 --> 00:04:34,331
Here, let me just get some money out
to pay you for that.
103
00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:36,786
Got change for this? Bam, fuck you!
104
00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:38,825
Everybody run! Move!
105
00:04:39,708 --> 00:04:41,918
Sorry about that, sir.
Thank you very much.
106
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,710
Five stars coming your way.
107
00:04:45,541 --> 00:04:47,041
Why would you pay that idiot?
108
00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:49,125
No money changes hands with Uber, Ricky.
109
00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:52,668
It's all done by credit card,
automatically through the phone app.
110
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:55,460
You just pull up, get out,
transaction complete.
111
00:04:55,541 --> 00:04:57,171
And people are using this thing?
112
00:04:57,458 --> 00:05:00,578
Using it?
Julian, it's a 70-billion-dollar company.
113
00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:03,578
Seventy billion? With a b?
114
00:05:03,666 --> 00:05:05,786
That's how you fucking spell billion, bud.
115
00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:08,495
So, while you're mentally jacking off
to that number,
116
00:05:08,583 --> 00:05:10,253
I'm gonna go feed my kitties.
117
00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:12,253
Fuck, 70 billion, huh?
118
00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:14,383
Fuck, that's a lot of money.
Think about that.
119
00:05:14,416 --> 00:05:17,706
You can move the whole trailer park
to a warm, topical island in Bahnama.
120
00:05:21,125 --> 00:05:22,785
Oh, you're so cute.
121
00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:26,575
Mr. Lahey! You have to stop showing up
and scaring me like this.
122
00:05:26,666 --> 00:05:29,956
I have never seen you more vulnerable,
my friend.
123
00:05:30,041 --> 00:05:31,921
What the frig are you talking about?
124
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,170
Listen to yourself. You're wasted again.
125
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,170
How much liquor
have you had to drink today?
126
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,790
I drank a whole fucking bottle
of this sweet shit.
127
00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:43,205
Things have been going really well
here in Sunnyvale lately.
128
00:05:43,291 --> 00:05:44,291
It's been peaceful.
129
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:46,383
I've been getting along with the guys
really well.
130
00:05:46,458 --> 00:05:49,918
The problem is Mr. Lahey seems to show up
whenever the frig he wants to.
131
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,080
I don't even need
to get completely wasted anymore.
132
00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:54,786
He just frigging pops out of the bottle
whenever he wants.
133
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:57,245
The other day,
I was having a really good bowel movement,
134
00:05:57,333 --> 00:05:58,633
and he frigged it right up.
135
00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:02,875
Frig,
you made me drop my cucumbers in the tub.
136
00:06:02,958 --> 00:06:05,078
Something's not right here, Randers.
137
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:06,826
Smell of shit is in the air.
138
00:06:06,916 --> 00:06:08,456
I got a handle on things here.
139
00:06:08,541 --> 00:06:10,881
Everything is great.
Everyone is getting along.
140
00:06:10,958 --> 00:06:12,788
Bigger things at play here, bud.
141
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,381
Believe me.
142
00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:22,043
What's going on, boys?
Duber? What the fuck is that?
143
00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:24,415
Time to start making some money, buddy.
Lots of it.
144
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:25,330
Duber?
145
00:06:25,416 --> 00:06:27,616
Yeah, it's like Uber,
but you can smoke dope in the car.
146
00:06:27,666 --> 00:06:30,286
- It's fucking brilliant.
- Uber is fucking lame.
147
00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:31,825
Duber's a way better idea.
148
00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:33,786
You said they're worth 70 billion.
149
00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:36,285
I mean, if we could even steal
one one-thousandth
150
00:06:36,375 --> 00:06:38,825
of that fucking business,
do you know how much money that is?
151
00:06:38,916 --> 00:06:43,416
Yes, I do. It's 70 million. I can do math.
But you're out of your fucking mind.
152
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:47,670
I mean, do you realize how much money
it took them just to develop the software
153
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:50,290
be able to track the cars, take payments?
You can't...
154
00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:52,785
Yeah, that's where you come in,
my little Bubbly Wubbly.
155
00:06:52,875 --> 00:06:58,125
What? No, I'm not getting involved
in fucking Duber!
156
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:02,245
You two are gonna wind up in fucking jail.
That's how this is gonna end, you watch.
157
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:04,583
- No, we're not.
- Come on, man. Don't be like that.
158
00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:07,066
We got it figured out.
We supply the dope. Pre-rolled joints.
159
00:07:07,083 --> 00:07:09,083
We don't sell the dope.
It's included in the price,
160
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:10,286
so it's totally legal.
161
00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:12,165
And it keeps stoned drivers off the roads,
162
00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:14,420
and you gotta admit
that is a good thing, Bubs.
163
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,040
Come on, man, we need you.
164
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:18,825
I mean, I need my gramson
to stop thinking I'm a fucking bum.
165
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,246
Mo called you a bum?
166
00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:21,543
Yeah, a few times.
167
00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:24,665
Come on, buddy. Let's show Mo
what the fuck we're capable of here.
168
00:07:25,375 --> 00:07:27,955
Jesus Christ.
169
00:07:28,041 --> 00:07:30,631
If I agree to do this
with you two fucking lunatics,
170
00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:32,168
I'm in charge or no deal.
171
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:35,250
This is gonna be a legit business,
by the book.
172
00:07:35,833 --> 00:07:37,503
- Of course, man. Sure.
- Yeah, man.
173
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:38,963
- Absolutely.
- Not a problem, man.
174
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,131
Not convincing!
175
00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:43,133
Ricky, butt out that joint
right the fuck now.
176
00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:45,165
You're joking, right? Why?
177
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:46,380
Because I'm in charge,
178
00:07:46,458 --> 00:07:48,748
and I just wanted to see
if you're gonna listen to me.
179
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:54,958
We rigged up the Shitmobile with GPS.
180
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:03,420
Put in an airtight seal
so the driver doesn't get high.
181
00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:10,166
Put in a bathroom exhaust fan
to keep the air nice and fresh.
182
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,081
Fucking blammo! Our first Duber car.
183
00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:17,575
Press and enter and… done.
184
00:08:17,666 --> 00:08:21,536
All the social media is set up,
and software testing is complete.
185
00:08:21,625 --> 00:08:23,325
Electronic payment system's ready.
186
00:08:23,416 --> 00:08:25,576
It's all working, Julian.
We're a go, buddy.
187
00:08:25,666 --> 00:08:28,496
No fucking way, Bubs. You know what?
You are the fucking man, buddy.
188
00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:30,543
Oh, I know I'm the fucking man.
189
00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:33,165
I mean, I honestly don't think
there's a snowball's chance
190
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,040
in fucking hell
this business is gonna work,
191
00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:37,285
but I did my best. Here we go.
192
00:08:37,375 --> 00:08:39,705
How's it going, you Tasmanian tuna cocks?
193
00:08:39,791 --> 00:08:41,331
We are officially up and running, man.
194
00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:42,956
- Fuck yeah, boys!
- Yeah!
195
00:08:43,041 --> 00:08:45,201
I've been working too.
Came up with the perfect jingle.
196
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,805
- Check this shit out.
- Wait, let me record it.
197
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:51,333
♪ Duber, Duber, doo
Where are you?♪
198
00:08:51,416 --> 00:08:54,376
♪ I've got some dope to smoke now♪
199
00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:57,248
♪ Duber, Duber, doo
I love you♪
200
00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,673
♪ Come and pick me the fuck up♪
201
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,000
Perfect, Ricky. Pretty good.
I mean, we're gonna get sued for sure,
202
00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:05,753
but I'll add that
to the social media sites right now.
203
00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:07,583
Get sued by who? A fucking dog?
204
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,666
No way, boys, look at this!
Our first call.
205
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:13,380
- Nice!
- Right on!
206
00:09:15,666 --> 00:09:18,496
Okay, Ricky, areyou seeingthe request on your screen?
207
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:21,706
I think so. I'm picking somebody up
at the main doors? Gerald?
208
00:09:21,791 --> 00:09:24,251
Yes, Gerald. Okay, it's working.
209
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:26,693
All right,
I think I see the cocksucker right there.
210
00:09:26,717 --> 00:09:30,036
Ricky, this isa customer service-based operation
211
00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:34,825
with a rating system. You can't
be calling customers cocksuckers.
212
00:09:34,916 --> 00:09:37,746
All right, got it.
X-ray on the cocksucker-ay.
213
00:09:37,833 --> 00:09:38,963
You Gerald?
214
00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:41,671
- Duber?
- Yeah, that's me. Get the fuck in, bud.
215
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:42,580
Ricky!
216
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,536
What? I didn't call him a cocksucker.
217
00:09:47,166 --> 00:09:51,996
Man, this is so fucking cool.
Way better than Uber. Good idea.
218
00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:54,503
Whoa, what the fuck are you doing there,
marshmallow tits?
219
00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:57,543
What? I thought the point of Duber
was you could smoke dope.
220
00:09:57,625 --> 00:09:58,665
Yeah, my dope.
221
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,630
It's not fucking BYOD there,
222
00:10:00,654 --> 00:10:01,654
Dumb-dy Dumb-ty.
223
00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:06,673
Oh, my God, this is really shitty.
224
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:09,630
Do you think I want my car
smelling like shitty fucking arcade dope?
225
00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:12,003
Here. This is free with your ride.
226
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,293
How's that taste?
227
00:10:18,375 --> 00:10:21,745
Pretty smooth. Not sure if I got anything
off that or not.
228
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:23,583
Yeah you did, trust me.
229
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:26,266
When that kicks in, you're gonna be fucked
for four or five hours.
230
00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:27,291
Seriously?
231
00:10:30,541 --> 00:10:32,671
Bud, I'm telling you, take small tokes.
232
00:10:33,083 --> 00:10:34,253
You're gonna be fucked.
233
00:10:35,625 --> 00:10:36,625
Oh, my fuck.
234
00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:38,578
What the fuck is happening?
235
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,580
My chest is beating out of my chest.
236
00:10:41,666 --> 00:10:44,536
My heart is beating... my fucking...
My heart is beating like a...
237
00:10:44,625 --> 00:10:45,625
Fuck... Clock, man!
238
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:48,170
Fucking, what the... Is this crack?
239
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:50,960
No, man, it's just good weed.
My fucking weed.
240
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:52,881
Isn't it cool?
Fuck, I love being that high.
241
00:10:52,958 --> 00:10:53,958
I'm so jealous.
242
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,840
Going to the muffler shop?
That's what it says.
243
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:59,285
I can't even remember
why I was going there, man. I don't know.
244
00:10:59,375 --> 00:11:02,165
The muffler shop? What the fuck, man?
245
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:05,540
I think I might be fucking dying.
Take me to the hospital!
246
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:08,035
Wait times are at an all-time high.
247
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:11,035
Last week, a lady claims
she waited over seven hours
248
00:11:11,125 --> 00:11:13,205
before she was seen by a doctor.
249
00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:16,581
I'm Steve "I'll Get to the Bottom of It"
Rogers.
250
00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:18,626
Holy Christ, this is boring.
251
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:20,578
I mean, is this the best
we could come up with?
252
00:11:20,666 --> 00:11:23,326
I'm Steve Rogers, for fuck'ssakes.
253
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,496
Hurry up, you fucking pussy.
254
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:26,793
Please, help me!
255
00:11:26,875 --> 00:11:29,285
So high. I think I'm gonna die, man.
256
00:11:29,666 --> 00:11:30,666
Roll camera.
257
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,285
Steve Rogers here, live at the hospital.
258
00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:35,035
Sir, can you tell me your name?
259
00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:36,825
My name? No.
260
00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:39,286
What's going on? Are you on drugs?
261
00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:41,325
I just used this car service.
262
00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:44,746
The driver gave me a joint,
I smoked it, and I am fucked!
263
00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:45,833
I need help!
264
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:47,830
Sir...
265
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:50,826
Oh, it's Ricky
from the Sunnyvale Trailer Park.
266
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:53,996
Ricky, I'd like to ask you a few questions
about Duber.
267
00:11:54,083 --> 00:11:58,213
Well, it's pretty simple really. It's like
Uber, but you can smoke weed in the car.
268
00:11:58,291 --> 00:12:01,291
Weed's included for free,
and that way, it's all legal.
269
00:12:01,791 --> 00:12:02,881
Interesting.
270
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:06,213
Oh, that's nice stuff.
271
00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:07,788
Potent, too.
272
00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:11,915
Well, folks, I have to say,
Steve Rogers is down with Duber.
273
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,420
I'm Steve Rogers.
274
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:17,880
Holy shit, Grampy's on TV. Cool!
275
00:12:18,541 --> 00:12:21,501
Holy mother of Mary's
silver-dollar nipples.
276
00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:24,583
We got calls coming in
all over the fucking place here, boys.
277
00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:29,168
Ricky, call at the grocery store,
then head back to the mall, ASAP.
278
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:32,290
I can't now, man. I got Steve Rogers
in the back seat doing a story.
279
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:35,205
It's awesome, man. He is fucking stoned.
280
00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:40,041
I'm telling you, folks, Duber's a hit
in this award-winning journalist's eyes.
281
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:41,205
I don't even know...
282
00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:44,131
I don't even knowwhere I am right now.
283
00:12:44,208 --> 00:12:49,498
I don't even care.Duber's one ride you should do…ber.
284
00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:54,211
I'm Steve "Not Making Any Sense" Rogers.
285
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:56,541
Right on, Ricky. Free marketing, buddy.
286
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:59,133
Yeah, all my idea, too.
287
00:12:59,208 --> 00:13:02,708
Goddammit, this is getting out of control.
We're not ready for this.
288
00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:04,751
We don't have the infrastructure yet,
Ricky.
289
00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:06,963
You just fucked us right in the piss hole.
290
00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:09,171
Bubs, would you relax?
This is fucking amazing.
291
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,920
Ricky, brilliant thinking, buddy.
292
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,800
Now, tell Steve Rogers
just to let people know
293
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,923
that we need more drivers ASAP.
294
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,720
Tell them to come
to Sunnyvale Trailer Park.
295
00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:20,750
I'm supposed to be in charge here, Julian,
and I say we can't hire anyone yet.
296
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:22,333
- We're not fucking ready!
- No, Bubs.
297
00:13:22,416 --> 00:13:24,826
Listen, you're totally in charge,
but I'm the manager here,
298
00:13:24,916 --> 00:13:26,286
so let me manage, okay?
299
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:28,075
While you run this fucking thing.
300
00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:28,996
Fuck, man.
301
00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:32,173
That doesn't even make sense.
You're trying to double-talk me.
302
00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:37,415
Somebody, show me
how this goddamn thing works!
303
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:42,130
It's about to drop my fucking uterus
right into my underwear.
304
00:13:42,208 --> 00:13:44,668
T, can you shut that thing down for her,
please?
305
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:47,290
Okay, thank you.
All right, listen up, everyone.
306
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:50,785
Once you have a fucking sign on your car,
grab a walkie,
307
00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:53,705
get your pre-rolled joints,
and then spread out around the city.
308
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,461
Julian, what in the fuck
do you think you're doing?
309
00:13:56,541 --> 00:13:59,711
These cars need to be sealed
and equipped the same way as Ricky's.
310
00:13:59,791 --> 00:14:01,831
These drivers are gonna be high
as fucking kites.
311
00:14:01,916 --> 00:14:05,166
But we need to make money first
so we can fucking do all that shit.
312
00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:06,250
Okay, ten joints each.
313
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:09,923
That's 50 dollars you owe us,
plus the 25 percent of each fare.
314
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,160
All right, people, let's get out there.
Move. Let's go.
315
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:15,496
This is fucking bullshit. We're getting in
over our heads here as usual.
316
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:18,793
It's all good, buddy.We'll reinvest
everything we make back into the cars
317
00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:21,415
and make it right. See, this is success.
318
00:14:24,625 --> 00:14:27,535
What the frig is up with all these cars
logjammed up here?
319
00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:30,875
M-m. Not on my frigging watch.
320
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,130
What's this, boys?
321
00:14:33,208 --> 00:14:35,168
Selling pre-rolled joints, are ya?
322
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:36,670
I don't think that's legal.
323
00:14:37,083 --> 00:14:38,583
Maybe Mr. Lahey was right.
324
00:14:38,791 --> 00:14:40,041
See? Told you, Randy.
325
00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:41,745
Mr. Lahey!
326
00:14:42,125 --> 00:14:43,285
You scared me again.
327
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,665
- Randy, you gotta get the cops.
- I don't know, sir.
328
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:48,670
I don't want to rock the shit boat.
I've been getting along with the guys.
329
00:14:48,708 --> 00:14:50,128
They're breaking the law.
330
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,705
What the frig is "Duber"?
331
00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:58,918
Julian, we're completely fucked.
I told you this was gonna happen.
332
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,920
We don't have enough cars
to keep up with demand.
333
00:15:00,958 --> 00:15:03,378
This whole system,
it could crash at any minute.
334
00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:05,828
No, it can't.
Calm down, you can handle this.
335
00:15:05,916 --> 00:15:08,246
This is a positive thing,
not a negative thing.
336
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:10,333
Think of the money
we're fucking making right now.
337
00:15:10,416 --> 00:15:13,376
Julian, there's a guy with a horse
and a buggy that wants to drive.
338
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:15,498
- Is that cool?
- Definitely, the more the merrier.
339
00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:19,253
Sarah, ask him if he's got any friends
with any cows, or horses, or anything else
340
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:21,753
that can pull fucking customers around
in a cart.
341
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,883
What in the fuck are you talking about?
342
00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:27,378
How do you suppose I hook a GPS up
to a fucking horse?
343
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:30,578
- What? Do I strap it to his wiener?
- Just get it done, Bubs.
344
00:15:34,541 --> 00:15:36,131
Ricky, thank fuck!
345
00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,288
Ricky, what the fuck happened
to your face?
346
00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:39,375
Boys, things are fucked.
347
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:41,126
They're fighting to get a ride in my car.
348
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,128
I got fucking punched,
I took a purse to the head
349
00:15:43,152 --> 00:15:44,880
from some old crinkly, craggly bitch.
350
00:15:44,958 --> 00:15:46,518
I think she broke my fucking face bone.
351
00:15:46,541 --> 00:15:49,461
That sucks, bud, but I'm sure
it's just an isolated incident.
352
00:15:49,541 --> 00:15:51,421
We need some more fucking joints, Ricky.
353
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:52,710
We're out of joints already?
354
00:15:52,791 --> 00:15:55,381
Yes, man,
we're fucking kicking ass here, bud.
355
00:15:55,458 --> 00:15:56,578
Yo, Bubbs, it's T.
356
00:15:57,208 --> 00:16:00,328
Yo, we got a major situation
down here at the Pizza Corner, man.
357
00:16:00,416 --> 00:16:02,786
Fuck, man, I'm scared, man.
We need fucking help down here.
358
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:03,705
It's fucked, man.
359
00:16:03,791 --> 00:16:04,671
Bubbs!
360
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:07,540
Man, please, you got to send more cars
down here. I need help.
361
00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:09,705
- We wanna get high!
- These motherfuckers are crazy!
362
00:16:09,729 --> 00:16:12,376
Fuck, man!
I think a motherfucker just broke my nose.
363
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:14,378
You got to send more help.
Where are the guys at?
364
00:16:14,458 --> 00:16:17,748
All right, I need anyone that's free
to head to the Pizza Corner right now.
365
00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:20,333
Fuck that!People are losing their freaking minds.
366
00:16:20,416 --> 00:16:23,706
Some guy just pulled a fucking gun on me.
I quit!
367
00:16:23,791 --> 00:16:25,831
Calm down, Marguerite.
It's because we're new.
368
00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:27,246
This will all settle down.
369
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:31,083
Breaker. Jacob and I can head toPizza Corner, dude, over.
370
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:32,826
Awesome, boys, that's the spirit.
371
00:16:32,916 --> 00:16:34,416
Yeah, that's a great idea, Julian,
372
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:37,080
not like Cory and Jacob
are fucked in the head or anything.
373
00:16:37,166 --> 00:16:39,246
We got no choice, man. T needs backup.
374
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:41,713
Twisted up some more joints for you,
Grampy.
375
00:16:41,791 --> 00:16:44,461
Awesome, buddy. Nice rolling.
Keep them coming
376
00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:47,881
This business is kicking ass.
Someday this will all be yours, Mo-Mo.
377
00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,748
A good old-fashioned family business.
378
00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:51,833
Cool! This is fun.
379
00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:55,788
Breaker, Cory to Bubbles.It's me, dude.
I'm out on the scene,
380
00:16:55,875 --> 00:16:59,285
I figured out the Pizza Corner shit.
I solved it all, dude. Over and out.
381
00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:02,245
Yeah, the shit's all good now, man.We got it covered from here.
382
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:04,293
Oh, shit, it's the five-0. Fuck!
383
00:17:04,375 --> 00:17:06,245
Just outrun themand drop the customers off!
384
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:07,773
Can't outrun nobody in this bus.
385
00:17:07,791 --> 00:17:09,671
What the fuck?
How are we gonna get out of here?
386
00:17:09,708 --> 00:17:12,498
Breaker, dude. We are boxed in.There's cops all around us.
387
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:15,043
They're causing people to fall off my car.
People are dying.
388
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:17,075
I think I can take the cops out somehow.
389
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,206
I could drive them off a cliff
or something.
390
00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:20,921
Breaker, just let me know, out.
391
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,330
Yeah, man, we're fucked!
392
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,826
Goddammit, what does this mean for us,
Julian?
393
00:17:24,916 --> 00:17:26,536
Nothing, man, we're fine.
394
00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:30,035
Those guys are the ones that fucked up,
not us. Let them deal with it.
395
00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:31,745
Hey, guys, how are ya?
396
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,713
Freeze, shitheads! Don't move!
397
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:36,751
- Hands where we can see them!
- Put them on the ground, now!
398
00:17:36,833 --> 00:17:39,083
- I said, on the ground!
- Get on the fucking ground.
399
00:17:39,166 --> 00:17:40,746
Fuck off! We did nothing wrong.
400
00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:43,173
This is bullshit.
401
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:46,380
You fucking asshole!
This is a fucking illegal arrest!
402
00:17:46,958 --> 00:17:49,788
- Fuck you!
- Great God, this is just fucking great.
403
00:17:49,875 --> 00:17:53,785
Why did I ever let you guys
talk me into this?
404
00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:59,003
I'm never gonna forget this!
This is a core memory.
405
00:17:59,083 --> 00:17:59,923
Oh my God.
406
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,380
Nice job, Grampy.
Another great childhood memory.
407
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,708
Sarah, please, fuck off!
408
00:18:07,958 --> 00:18:09,918
I'm gonna call the president
of Nova Scotia.
409
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,630
This is fucking police brutality.
410
00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:13,498
Good job, Randy. We got them this time.
411
00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:17,378
Oh, Randy, you piece of shit!
You're gonna fucking pay for this,
412
00:18:17,458 --> 00:18:18,828
you shit-covered whale load.
413
00:18:18,916 --> 00:18:21,126
Guess you should have just stayed clean,
Rick.
414
00:18:21,208 --> 00:18:23,248
Or kept your shenanigans out of Sunnyvale.
415
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:24,173
Dick!
416
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,580
Ted, I need to talk to you.
417
00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:27,786
I don't want to hear your bullshit,
Julian.
418
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,245
You're going down.
419
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:32,213
Fine, but Bubbles had nothing to do
with this. It was just Ricky and I.
420
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:34,541
And I'll testify on Bubbles's behalf
if I have to.
421
00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:36,575
I'm telling you, man,
don't waste your time.
422
00:18:36,666 --> 00:18:37,876
Just let him go, please.
423
00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:46,165
I'd like to move
that all the charges be thrown out
424
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,290
because of how fucking dumb
and ugly this guy is.
425
00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:50,875
Objection! This man is certifiable.
426
00:18:50,958 --> 00:18:51,958
Your Honor, if I may,
427
00:18:52,041 --> 00:18:54,131
I'd like to request permission
to approach the bench.
428
00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:56,458
Your Worship, if I may,
I'd like to request permission
429
00:18:56,541 --> 00:18:57,961
for his lips to approach my cock.
430
00:18:58,041 --> 00:18:59,331
- Order!
- Fuck, Rick.
431
00:18:59,416 --> 00:19:01,076
- Chill out, man.
- Now, I told you
432
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:04,126
if ever you were back here again
for selling marijuana,
433
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:05,418
we would have a problem.
434
00:19:05,791 --> 00:19:08,171
Now, obviously, you didn't get my message.
435
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:10,170
Sorry, Your Ignorance,
but we weren't selling it.
436
00:19:10,194 --> 00:19:13,043
It was a car service. The weed was free.
It was fucking included.
437
00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:15,325
- How are they doing?
- Not great.
438
00:19:15,416 --> 00:19:17,746
You made a big mistake this time, son.
439
00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:21,713
I'm gonna make such an example out of you,
you have no idea.
440
00:19:22,166 --> 00:19:24,126
But I did what you told me to do.
441
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:27,458
I tried to go legit for you.
And for my daughter and my gramson.
442
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,751
It's not fucking fair.
443
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:31,633
I did it for the love of my family,
and now you're going to fuck me?
444
00:19:31,708 --> 00:19:33,308
So you know, you're not just fucking me,
445
00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:35,793
you're fucking my daughter
and my gramson right in the ass.
446
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,495
For love of everything that's holy!
447
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:41,963
Jesus H. Christ,
choose your words more carefully.
448
00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:43,211
Words mean things.
449
00:19:43,291 --> 00:19:46,751
Give me a break, Your Highness, please.
For my family.
450
00:19:47,833 --> 00:19:50,793
It's really not my fault.
I mean, I thought this was legal.
451
00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:53,285
The new dope laws are fucking confusing.
I mean, it's legal,
452
00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:55,785
but yet it's not really legal.
It's fucked!
453
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:57,835
And I'm not that smart to begun with,
so you know.
454
00:19:58,166 --> 00:20:00,706
Well, okay, look,
after hearing your testimony,
455
00:20:00,791 --> 00:20:03,751
I'm gonna reconsider my decision
in this case.
456
00:20:03,833 --> 00:20:07,173
Now, I sentence the drivers
to community service.
457
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,290
Community service? That ain't shit.
458
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:13,786
Now, as for you, Ricky and Julian,
I was gonna sentence you to 18 months.
459
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:17,000
But after hearing your moving testimony,
460
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:20,285
I'm going to reduce that to 12 months.
461
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:23,415
Remove them from my courtroom.
462
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:27,000
Ricky, call me to the stand.
I think I can get you guys off.
463
00:20:27,083 --> 00:20:28,963
Hold on a second there, Your Loveliness.
464
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:31,831
The defense would like
to call its first witness, Bubbles.
465
00:20:31,916 --> 00:20:34,826
This just keeps getting more ridiculous
by the minute.
466
00:20:34,916 --> 00:20:37,786
All right. Bubbles, approach the bench
467
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:40,915
and bring those two reprobates with you,
please.
468
00:20:41,416 --> 00:20:45,076
Yes, Your Honor. Look, I thought
the court might be interested in seeing
469
00:20:45,166 --> 00:20:47,376
some of our customer credit card receipts.
470
00:20:47,708 --> 00:20:50,128
Have a look at the names there, Judgy.
471
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:54,075
A couple of police officers involved,
Judge Dixon's on there,
472
00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:55,671
Mayor Savage, and…
473
00:20:56,125 --> 00:20:58,165
might I add, your bailiff right there.
474
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:02,580
We picked him up at Pizza Corner,
and he was wasted with his penis out.
475
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:07,790
In light of this new evidence…
476
00:21:08,791 --> 00:21:10,381
Oh, for Christ's sake.
477
00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:13,251
All charges are dismissed.
478
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:14,333
Fuck, yeah!
479
00:21:15,916 --> 00:21:17,876
- Clear this court.
- That's the shit!
480
00:21:22,083 --> 00:21:23,463
Stop the fucking car.
481
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:24,583
For what?
482
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:28,076
This is what happens to rats, Randy.
483
00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:31,036
Hope these burgers are juicy enough
for you now, bud.
484
00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:32,705
Shit gods are smiling.
485
00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:35,078
Smell of victory is in the air.
486
00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:38,751
Thanks, sir. I'm glad I listened to you.
I must say, it did feel good.
487
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,250
All I'm looking for is a little justice.
488
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:42,333
Me too.
489
00:21:42,416 --> 00:21:45,166
Cooked to perfection.
490
00:21:47,833 --> 00:21:50,383
Well, maybe a little bit salty.
491
00:21:50,916 --> 00:21:51,916
Good, though.
492
00:23:12,916 --> 00:23:18,706
Oh fuck.
493
00:23:18,791 --> 00:23:20,331
Jesus Christ!
494
00:23:26,208 --> 00:23:28,248
Fuck off.
495
00:23:28,772 --> 00:23:31,372
41465
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.