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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:28,593 Oh, the fine print they put in an actor's contract these days. 2 00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:31,357 Well, be that as it may, uh, I'm Tony Randall. 3 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:35,891 I'm appearing in this motion picture with a fascinating and beautiful performer- 4 00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:40,500 A talented and gorgeous star with a fabulous figure- 5 00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:43,235 I beg your pardon. 6 00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:48,144 There. I think you'll agree that her figure is somewhat more interesting than mine. 7 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,842 That is, if you're interested in that sort of thing. 8 00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:53,943 Well, we also have several other fine performers aboard. 9 00:00:56,489 --> 00:01:01,825 All of whom are appearing in this delightful motion picture entitled, um- 10 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:06,293 The title of this delightful motion picture is... 11 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:09,494 The Girl Can't Help It. No, we made that. Hmm. 12 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,935 Well, anyway, uh... 13 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:16,135 this picture is about, uh, advertising agencies and television commercials... 14 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:21,237 and it is called Gertrude, Crestview 5-412- 15 00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:25,410 Oh, no. Well, anyway- 16 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:29,512 Anyway, uh, the picture takes place in New York City, New York. 17 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:33,047 - And the name of it is... - Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter? 18 00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,458 Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter? 19 00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:43,862 Our slip-easy pop-up finger-touch ice trays. 20 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,064 No matter how many lushes you know... 21 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:50,542 with a slip-easy pop-up finger-touch ice trays... 22 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,737 you have enough ice cubes for all! 23 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:58,409 Shelton's Beer is brewed crystal clear from the streams deep in the forest swamps. 24 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:01,249 You'll be way ahead with Shelton's Beer. 25 00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:05,690 There is no head on Shelton's Beer. No foam, just beer. 26 00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:09,489 Pour yourself a full glass of that heavily-brewed... 27 00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:12,395 clear swamp water, Shelton's Beer. 28 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:16,333 Do you want to say good bye to dull, drab hair? 29 00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,768 Then use Tres Chic. 30 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:22,831 After drying, just run your comb gently through your hair. 31 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:27,175 You'll see the magic, the miracle of Tres Chic. 32 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:31,183 You'll see what Tres Chic can do to your hair. 33 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:35,051 You have just seen the handy-dandy Dandy Electric Shaver... 34 00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:39,421 gently shave the fungus off an overripe peach. 35 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,188 Now watch the job it does for my stubble. 36 00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:46,392 - Nothing, but nothing stops the handy-dandy Dandy. 37 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,764 It will leave you clean-shaven in a jiffy. 38 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,599 Now use the handy-dandy Dandy. 39 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,435 Each little crunchy contains energy... 40 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:58,773 contains pep for your growing youngsters, builds strong legs... 41 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:03,475 so that when they're older, they can stand the long waits in the unemployment lines. 42 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:06,246 Listen to the energy. 43 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,651 It snaps. It crunches. 44 00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:11,212 Remember, that's Crunchy Crispies. 45 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:14,988 Oh, hello. I'm Jolly Jess. 46 00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,291 Uh, by the way, do you like nuts? 47 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:22,062 Well, if you do, don't say nuts, say Frank's Vacuum-Packed Peanut Butter. 48 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:25,764 It's great. Uh-huh. 49 00:03:25,838 --> 00:03:28,739 Mmm. The peanut in Frank's Vacuum-Packed- 50 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:33,745 Wow contains fallout, the exclusive patented ingredient. 51 00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:38,951 Wow is gentle to your hands. 52 00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:41,282 It may be a little rough on your fingernails... 53 00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:45,848 but with a clean kitchen, you won't have to scratch yourself. 54 00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:48,359 Wow! Wow is the wow- 55 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,919 Rambunctious Rupert is open day and night. 56 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:53,659 Rambunctious Rupert has the bargains. 57 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,997 Take the car away. Drive it off the lot. 58 00:03:56,069 --> 00:04:00,506 No money down, no collateral. Just leave your wife with Rambunctious Rupert. 59 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:05,033 If you're like me, with six dirty children, and a big, filthy husband... 60 00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:09,775 then you can imagine how important an easy-clean washing machine can be. 61 00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:13,376 It not only easy-cleans those dirty, filthy clothes... 62 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:16,183 but it's so gentle on each garment. 63 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:20,556 So gentle that it makes wash day a day to remember. 64 00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:23,187 Uh, you won't forget wash day... 65 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,061 if you use the easy-clean washing machine. 66 00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:31,893 This is me again, Rockwell P. Hunter... 67 00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,804 and that's Madison Avenue away down there. 68 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:39,140 That's my street, my street of gray flannel dreams. 69 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:42,409 I'm employed on Madison Avenue in an advertising agency... 70 00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:46,509 way up here in the offices of La Salle Jr., Raskin, Pooley and Crocket... 71 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:50,078 or as we say, L.S.J.R.P. and C. 72 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:53,353 I'm a writer, an author of TV commercials. 73 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:59,228 This is my office, and that's a photograph of my niece, April Hunter. 74 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,234 April is a teenager, and she lives with me. 75 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,736 That's my secretary, Jenny Wells. 76 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,500 Jenny is not a teenager and doesn't live with me. 77 00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:09,564 But she will when I can afford it. 78 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,110 Jenny and I fell in love one night last year. 79 00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:14,772 That wonderful night we were supposed to be working overtime. 80 00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:20,444 That's my immediate superior, Henry Rufus, a vice president of L.S.J.R.P. and C... 81 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:25,219 and the account executive of Stay-put Lipstick, our most important client. 82 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:29,387 Rufe is a big success. He has a key to the executive washroom. 83 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:34,627 But the largest success of all is Junior, Mr. La Salle, Jr. 84 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:37,795 He's the president of La Salle, Jr., Raskin, Pooley and Crocket. 85 00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:40,031 He has his own private washroom. 86 00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:42,939 He's been written up in Fortune, profiled in The New Yorker... 87 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,068 had his picture on the cover ofTime... 88 00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:48,944 and he is a personal friend of Elsa Maxwell. 89 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,716 Good morning, Mr. La Salle. 90 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,455 Yes, Mr. Rufus. I called. He's on his way. 91 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,259 Hi, Gladys. Mr. Rufus wanted to see me? 92 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:11,428 Go in, Mr. Hunter, but watch out. 93 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:14,132 He's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by now. 94 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,209 Hi, Rufe. 95 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,782 Must be your fifth tranquilizer by now. 96 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,684 Gladys also tell you I drank my lunch? 97 00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:32,347 She forgets I eat the olives. 98 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,950 That's where the nourishment is. 99 00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:37,018 Gladys talks too much. 100 00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:39,189 I ought to get rid of her... 101 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,632 but, uh, she has it on me ever since I got juiced up at that Christmas party... 102 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:45,500 and made a couple of passes at her I.B.M. machine. 103 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:51,441 Well, I finished the new animated cartoon commercial, Rufe. 104 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:54,275 I think you'll like it. It's to be sung by three chickens... 105 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,338 to the tune of "Old MacDonald Had A Farm." 106 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,441 Goes like this. 107 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,381 No. 108 00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,447 That's "Yankee Doodle." 109 00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:28,310 You have to imagine it sung by three chickens, Rufe. 110 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:43,395 Singing commercials are dead, Rocky boy. 111 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,490 The surveys show the jingles become hits, but the product doesn't sell. 112 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:51,333 Rocky, I've got some bad news. 113 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:54,100 - Bad news? - Concerns both of us. 114 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,664 - Better have a bracer. - I can take it straight. 115 00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,836 So can I. 116 00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:02,142 This is all gin. 117 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:09,718 Well, it seems the Stay-put account may pull out. 118 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:12,383 This whole joint may "foldy." 119 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:15,859 You and I are slated for the chute. 120 00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:18,362 Well, that's how the ball bounces. 121 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,868 Wow. Oh, boy. 122 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,372 Gee, I was counting on a raise pretty soon. 123 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:33,003 Be my guest. Numby-wummies on the house. 124 00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:38,580 What's the matter, Rocky boy? No kopecks put aside? 125 00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:41,119 No. Not a kopeck. 126 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:45,715 - Takes a lot of money to raise a teenager properly, you know. - I know. 127 00:08:45,791 --> 00:08:51,559 My Evelyn. She was a perfectly normal juvenile delinquent until she got a breakdown. 128 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:56,830 Rock and roll got to her. Now I take her to the analyst three times a week. 129 00:08:56,903 --> 00:09:01,897 The bills. The man must be building a monument to Freud. 130 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:06,001 But, uh, that's the way the banana splits. 131 00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:08,603 Don't worry, laddie. We'll get other "jobbies." 132 00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:12,242 I will, anyway. I've got no talent. 133 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:16,755 Be tougher for you. But you'll probably get your old job back. 134 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:21,350 - On a fan magazine? - You did some good writing there, boy. 135 00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:26,194 Mostly I just edited the fan news column. 136 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,792 The only big star I ever got to interview was- 137 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:32,770 Um... 138 00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:35,671 Bobo Brannigansky the TV Jungle Man. 139 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,800 It's a pretty good article though. 140 00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:40,971 I called it, "How Bobo Overcame Jungle Rot." 141 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,140 Actually, it was pretty well-received for what it was. 142 00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:45,445 Well, that's what I mean. You can write. 143 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,180 You can always write TV scripts, you know. 144 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:52,987 Expand the one-line joke into the hour-and-a-half spectacular. 145 00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:56,825 Time for another conference. Rocky, remember to keep this "hushied." 146 00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:59,194 Junior doesn't want this bruited about. 147 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,325 But I couldn't let an old Harvard classmate get pink-slipped without notice. 148 00:10:02,401 --> 00:10:04,995 - Thanks an awful lot, Rufe. - Oh! 149 00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:08,370 - I'll be in Junior's office. - Yes, dear-sir. 150 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:14,569 We need a big idea, and "fasty," Rocky. 151 00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:16,842 If you come up with anything, let me know in the a.m. 152 00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:19,180 We're having a final showdown with the client. 153 00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:22,584 - You mean there's a chance to save the account? - I've got a couple of ideas... 154 00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:26,091 but if you can come up with the right slant, your problem can be "solvy, solvy." 155 00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:28,251 It can mean a vice presidency for you. 156 00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:31,524 Excuse me. 157 00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:33,914 And until next week, we say good bye to Bobo Brannigansky... 158 00:10:33,949 --> 00:10:36,231 And until next week, we say good bye to Bobo Brannigansky... 159 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:40,500 your friendly Jungle Man and star of the first adult monkey series... 160 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:43,872 brought to you by Flake-Off, the friendly skin peel. 161 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:46,571 And now for the news. 162 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,513 We take you first to Hollywood... 163 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:53,074 where movie fans are agog over the recent movements of Rita Marlowe. 164 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,382 Mystery still surrounds the hurried departure... 165 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:57,615 of the cinema queen from the cinema capital. 166 00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:02,389 Mystery? I'm just going to New York with my secretary to rest in seclusion. 167 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:06,363 - Seclusion? Is that right? - That's right. Means you want to be alone. 168 00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:10,528 - Seclusion sounds so dirty. - Well, it isn't. 169 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,935 So that's it. I just want to be alone. 170 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:16,600 So what's the mystery? I'm just a perfectly normal American girl. 171 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:27,649 This is your opportunity to make Junior sit up and take notice of you. 172 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:32,054 - I'd like to get a great idea and go by him in the hall... 173 00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:35,958 and give him a taste of that gray flannel sneer. 174 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,053 - Come on. - I'll never be a success. 175 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,525 And remember. If you don't get an idea... 176 00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:46,765 you're still a big success with me. 177 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,706 Am I? Hmm? 178 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:54,270 Darling, please. April may come out and see us. 179 00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:57,838 Oh, it's all right. You're gonna be her aunt someday soon. 180 00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,784 You're not treating me like an aunt. 181 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,253 Well, I don't feel exactly like an uncle. 182 00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:07,418 All right, but easy. My insurance doesn't cover hallways. 183 00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:27,708 I've lost my touch. I'm cracking! 184 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:23,998 I miss 'em already, all those little Hollywood incinerators puffing away... 185 00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:27,835 making that nice black smog that covers up the freeway accidents. 186 00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,102 I'm sorry, Vi. I just had to get away. 187 00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,736 If you wanted seclusion, I could have drained the swimming pool. 188 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,837 Why the rush to New York? 189 00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:37,678 We're coming here so I can form my own production company. 190 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,583 - Do you expect me to believe that? - Oh, all right. 191 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,350 I wanted to get away from Bobo. I'll show him he can't walk out on me. 192 00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:47,620 Bobo didn't walk out on you! 193 00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:53,863 He just left the table at Mocambo to make a phone call... 194 00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:55,958 and was too loaded to find his way back. 195 00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:59,801 Well, he wasn't too loaded to turn up at Ciro's with another bleached blonde! 196 00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:02,602 Uh, another blonde. After all I did for him. 197 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,610 What was Bobo when I met him? A-A Cucamonga grape picker. 198 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,703 Even his feet were blue! 199 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,613 I remember. You thought he never took his socks off. 200 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,777 And do you remember who introduced him to the right people? 201 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,878 Who gave party after party for him? 202 00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:18,446 Who built him into the big star he is today? 203 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,719 Shh. Do you want everyone to know you can't hold a man? 204 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:24,251 You're Hollywood's femme fatale! No man walks out on you. 205 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,662 - Even if they do. - We're here! 206 00:15:12,281 --> 00:15:14,681 Okay, honey. Breakfast is ready. 207 00:15:15,751 --> 00:15:17,742 April! 208 00:15:17,819 --> 00:15:19,844 April, do you hear me? 209 00:15:19,922 --> 00:15:24,484 Now, our special events camera takes you to Idlewild Airport. 210 00:15:25,527 --> 00:15:27,757 April, where are you? 211 00:15:27,829 --> 00:15:30,730 - Here I am! Here I am! - Where? 212 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:32,790 Down here, Miss Marlowe! 213 00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:38,431 April Hunter, president of the East 73rd St. chapter of your fan club. 214 00:15:38,507 --> 00:15:40,600 April! 215 00:15:40,676 --> 00:15:42,906 May I have your autograph, Miss Marlowe? 216 00:15:42,978 --> 00:15:44,969 What's new on your romance with Bobo? 217 00:15:45,047 --> 00:15:47,880 I have no romance. All my lovers and I are just friends. 218 00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:49,941 Where are you staying in New York? 219 00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:52,043 In seclusion. She's incorporating herself. 220 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,146 Don't talk dirty on TV. It's a family medium. 221 00:15:55,223 --> 00:15:57,487 - Thank you, President Huntley. - Hunter. 222 00:15:57,559 --> 00:16:00,756 Hunter. I've seen all your pictures, Miss Marlowe. 223 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:04,959 - And I'm going again to see The Girl Can't Help It! - Courageous youngster. 224 00:16:14,343 --> 00:16:17,437 Information, may I have the number of Idlewild Airport, please? 225 00:16:17,512 --> 00:16:21,107 Bye, Miss Marlowe. Thanks for the autograph. 226 00:16:21,183 --> 00:16:23,981 - Oh, you're welcome. Bye. - Bye. 227 00:16:26,755 --> 00:16:30,316 April Hunter, wanted at the T.W.A. information counter, please. 228 00:16:32,494 --> 00:16:36,157 April Hunter, wanted at the T.W.A. information counter, please. 229 00:16:38,233 --> 00:16:41,202 I'm April Hunter. Thank you. 230 00:16:41,269 --> 00:16:43,533 - Hello? - Hello. 231 00:16:43,605 --> 00:16:47,006 Uncle Rockwell? How did you know I was here? 232 00:16:49,044 --> 00:16:51,205 I was on TV? How'd I look? 233 00:16:51,279 --> 00:16:53,372 Like six months of no allowance. 234 00:16:53,448 --> 00:16:56,383 Oh, Uncle Rockwell, I had to see her. 235 00:16:56,451 --> 00:16:59,181 And you know what? She's hiding out in seclusion. 236 00:16:59,254 --> 00:17:02,451 She wouldn't tell the reporters, but I heard her give the address to the chauffeur. 237 00:17:02,524 --> 00:17:05,186 I don't care about the address. You go to school! 238 00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:08,161 Okay, Uncle Rockwell. Bye. 239 00:17:10,399 --> 00:17:12,867 And that was the arrival of Rita Marlowe... 240 00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:17,200 Hollywood's goddess of love, the girl with those oh-so-kissable lips... 241 00:17:17,272 --> 00:17:20,730 soon to be seen with Cary Grant in Kiss Them For Me. 242 00:17:22,978 --> 00:17:26,573 Now, for our early morning wake-up show, sponsored by the Last Chance Mortuary. 243 00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:28,741 Rock? 244 00:17:28,817 --> 00:17:31,581 I'm in here, honey- In April's bedroom. 245 00:17:34,289 --> 00:17:36,314 Well, how'd you do last night? 246 00:17:36,391 --> 00:17:40,327 - What are you doing? - Did I get an idea! 247 00:17:40,395 --> 00:17:42,420 - I got Rita Marlowe! - Rita Marlowe? 248 00:17:42,497 --> 00:17:44,522 I don't know why I didn't think of it before! 249 00:17:44,599 --> 00:17:49,002 We get Rita Marlowe to endorse Stay-put Lipstick! It'll sell like crazy. 250 00:17:49,071 --> 00:17:51,403 Listen, honey, when I was editing the fan news column... 251 00:17:51,473 --> 00:17:54,374 all the fans wanted to know anything about was Rita Marlowe. 252 00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:57,412 I ask you. What is Rita Marlowe famous for? 253 00:17:57,479 --> 00:18:01,245 - Next question. - Stop that. No. 254 00:18:01,316 --> 00:18:04,342 She's famous as the girl with the oh-so-kissable lips. 255 00:18:04,419 --> 00:18:06,546 You've seen that in all her publicity. 256 00:18:06,621 --> 00:18:08,748 Honey, we're in. I'm gonna rough out a couple of layouts. 257 00:18:08,824 --> 00:18:12,817 You better go ahead so you won't be late, baby. I'll see you later. 258 00:18:20,302 --> 00:18:22,896 As you know, this agency... 259 00:18:22,971 --> 00:18:26,304 had the foresight to pioneer the singing commercial... 260 00:18:26,374 --> 00:18:31,402 and in so doing, raised the level of musical culture in the American home. 261 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:35,746 Now we must embark on another farsighted, long-range vision. 262 00:18:35,817 --> 00:18:40,618 Gentlemen, I suggest we sell the Stay-put Corporation... 263 00:18:40,689 --> 00:18:44,056 on putting out a new line of lipsticks in all popular flavors. 264 00:18:44,126 --> 00:18:46,287 Scotch, Bourbon, Gin. 265 00:18:46,361 --> 00:18:48,386 I can see the ads. 266 00:18:48,463 --> 00:18:51,261 Stay-put Vodka for the girl who leaves you breathless. 267 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:54,393 Stay-put Martini for that after-5:00 romance. 268 00:18:54,469 --> 00:18:56,460 Stay-put Manischewitz for that- 269 00:18:56,538 --> 00:19:00,668 Haven't you another vision, Mr. Rufus? Perhaps not so long-ranged? 270 00:19:00,742 --> 00:19:03,506 Well, yes, L.S. I do. 271 00:19:05,981 --> 00:19:09,178 This idea is to start kids using Stay-put at an early age. 272 00:19:09,251 --> 00:19:15,019 You see, gentlemen, as a parent, I know from experience that all teenagers are kiss-happy. 273 00:19:15,090 --> 00:19:18,958 - My Evelyn, for instance. - To the point, Mr. Rufus. To the point. 274 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:23,657 Well, I propose that Stay-put sponsor a teenage kissing contest. 275 00:19:23,732 --> 00:19:26,166 Hold semi-finals across the country. 276 00:19:26,234 --> 00:19:30,330 Fly the best smoochers to New York for the finals. Make it a color spectacular. 277 00:19:30,405 --> 00:19:32,771 Get Lawrence Welk to do the music. 278 00:19:32,841 --> 00:19:35,674 We'll have the kids kiss their way to the first plateau... 279 00:19:35,744 --> 00:19:39,271 then put them in the osculation booth! 280 00:19:39,347 --> 00:19:44,114 Mr. Rufus. Do you realize that Mr. Ezzarus, president of the Stay-put Corporation... 281 00:19:44,186 --> 00:19:47,952 - will be coming through that door at any- - Rufe! Rufe! 282 00:19:48,023 --> 00:19:50,617 Rufe! I want to see you. 283 00:19:50,692 --> 00:19:53,058 I told him you were not to be disturbed, Mr. La Salle. 284 00:19:53,128 --> 00:19:55,187 - Listen, Rufe. I've got it. - Will you get out? 285 00:19:55,263 --> 00:19:58,357 - Get out? But- - Better go. 286 00:19:58,433 --> 00:20:00,458 You haven't seen this, Mr. La Salle. 287 00:20:00,535 --> 00:20:02,526 Better go, Rocky. I'll see you later. 288 00:20:02,604 --> 00:20:06,370 I've got a job at stake here, Rufe. Listen, Mr. La Salle. 289 00:20:06,441 --> 00:20:08,466 I was up all night trying to come up with something... 290 00:20:08,543 --> 00:20:10,534 to keep you from losing the Stay-put account. 291 00:20:10,612 --> 00:20:12,842 Finally, this morning I think I've got it. 292 00:20:12,914 --> 00:20:14,905 It's really a natural, Mr. La Salle. 293 00:20:14,983 --> 00:20:17,918 Losing the Stay-put account? Where did you hear that? 294 00:20:21,122 --> 00:20:25,559 The meeting is adjourned, gentlemen, with the exception of Mr. Rufus. 295 00:20:29,764 --> 00:20:32,665 - Please look at this, Mr. La Salle. - Better go, Rocky. 296 00:20:32,734 --> 00:20:35,669 Don't make any more trouble. 297 00:20:39,808 --> 00:20:42,743 I'm not making trouble. I'm trying to get us out of trouble. 298 00:20:45,146 --> 00:20:48,513 I beat my brains out last night, Mr. La Salle, and on my own time. 299 00:20:48,583 --> 00:20:51,677 It didn't cost you a single kopeck. The least you can do- 300 00:20:51,753 --> 00:20:55,120 Stop by the cashier on your way out. 301 00:20:59,427 --> 00:21:02,692 And I'd like to see you in 15 minutes. 302 00:21:09,371 --> 00:21:13,637 You know, Mr. La Salle, for years, I looked up to you. 303 00:21:13,708 --> 00:21:16,973 I hoped you'd notice me. You were my idol. 304 00:21:17,045 --> 00:21:20,378 I regarded you as a big man. But you're not a big man. 305 00:21:20,448 --> 00:21:23,645 You're just a little poop of a man! 306 00:21:23,718 --> 00:21:26,778 And that's the way the poop poops. 307 00:21:28,123 --> 00:21:30,387 So long, Junior! 308 00:21:32,861 --> 00:21:35,921 Excuse me. I'm sorry. You all right, sir? 309 00:21:35,997 --> 00:21:37,988 No harm done. 310 00:21:49,544 --> 00:21:53,173 What happened, honey? 311 00:21:55,850 --> 00:21:58,444 - What happened? - I got bounced! 312 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,511 And that's how the ball bounces! 313 00:22:00,588 --> 00:22:04,649 - Junior didn't like the idea? - The poop! The poop didn't even look at it! 314 00:22:04,726 --> 00:22:07,024 - The poop. - Oh, the poop. 315 00:22:07,095 --> 00:22:09,154 Vice presidency! Success! 316 00:22:09,230 --> 00:22:12,290 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I told you before, honey, and I'll tell you again. 317 00:22:12,367 --> 00:22:14,835 You're wasting your time. I'll never be anything. Anything! 318 00:22:14,903 --> 00:22:18,999 - Darling, don't talk like that. - Well, it's true! You see these pipes? 319 00:22:19,074 --> 00:22:21,099 Why don't you smoke one and relax? 320 00:22:21,176 --> 00:22:24,202 You didn't know I had pipes hidden away in my bottom drawer, did you? 321 00:22:24,279 --> 00:22:28,682 - No. But what does it matter? - What does it matter? I'll tell you what it matters! 322 00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:30,877 I bought these pipes before you came with me. 323 00:22:30,952 --> 00:22:35,787 I decided on a pipe. This was after sincere ties got that insincere look... 324 00:22:35,857 --> 00:22:38,155 but before Brooks Brothers gray flannel took over. 325 00:22:38,226 --> 00:22:43,459 Well, I thought a pipe would give me a successful Gregory Peck look. 326 00:22:43,531 --> 00:22:46,694 Gregory Peck? Darling, you're not making any sense. 327 00:22:46,768 --> 00:22:50,363 You know something? You're right. I couldn't even keep the darn thing lit. 328 00:22:50,438 --> 00:22:53,805 You know, I met a psychiatrist at a party once. 329 00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:57,709 He told me that my pipe-smoking revealed my psychic tensions. 330 00:22:57,779 --> 00:23:02,216 Half of me wanted success while the other half wanted failure. 331 00:23:02,283 --> 00:23:06,879 So I couldn't make up my mind whether to... inhale or exhale. 332 00:23:06,955 --> 00:23:09,480 And that's why my pipe would go out. And he was right. 333 00:23:09,557 --> 00:23:13,425 I couldn't keep my pipe lit, and now, I'm out! 334 00:23:13,495 --> 00:23:16,191 When you finish, I'll be waiting for you around the corner. 335 00:23:16,264 --> 00:23:18,255 - Oh, that poop! - Around the corner? 336 00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:20,528 Rock! Darling! Please! 337 00:23:20,602 --> 00:23:23,901 - Now, don't drink too much. Don't drink too much. - No, not too much. Just enough. 338 00:23:26,274 --> 00:23:29,402 - Are you sure he's here? - He must be at the usual table. 339 00:23:33,114 --> 00:23:37,107 - He must have left. Come on, Jenny. - No. No, I think I hear him. 340 00:23:41,356 --> 00:23:44,883 - Oh, Rock! - Now, don't nag him. He's a genius. 341 00:23:44,959 --> 00:23:48,122 Besides, the acoustics are probably better down there. 342 00:23:48,196 --> 00:23:51,427 Help me get the genius out. 343 00:23:51,499 --> 00:23:53,899 Here we go. 344 00:23:53,968 --> 00:23:57,426 - Keep quiet, genius. - There you are now. 345 00:24:04,379 --> 00:24:10,215 Mr. Rufus said the man you bumped into was Mr. Ezzarus, president of Stay-put. 346 00:24:10,285 --> 00:24:13,812 He saw your layouts and loved the idea of using Rita Marlowe. 347 00:24:13,888 --> 00:24:16,789 He told Junior that if he could deliver Rita Marlowe... 348 00:24:16,858 --> 00:24:20,123 the Stay-put account would stay put with the agency. 349 00:24:20,195 --> 00:24:23,961 Mr. Rufus said that Junior�s been trying to locate Miss Marlowe all day. 350 00:24:24,032 --> 00:24:26,227 He can't find her. She's hiding out. 351 00:24:26,301 --> 00:24:29,236 - Even the Pinkertons he's hired can't find her. - Yes. 352 00:24:29,304 --> 00:24:32,831 Mr. Rufus said that if you know where she is... 353 00:24:32,907 --> 00:24:36,434 you'll get two vice presidencies and maybe even a raise. 354 00:24:36,511 --> 00:24:39,412 Do you hear me, Rock? 355 00:24:39,481 --> 00:24:43,918 April, my little Pinkerton. 356 00:24:43,985 --> 00:24:45,976 April! 357 00:24:46,054 --> 00:24:48,215 April? April. 358 00:24:49,424 --> 00:24:51,449 Rock. 359 00:24:51,526 --> 00:24:53,653 Dear Uncle Rockwell, Gone to the movies. 360 00:24:53,728 --> 00:24:55,855 Your dinner's in the warming oven. Love and kisses, April. 361 00:24:55,930 --> 00:24:58,592 Help yourself to the warming oven. I'll get that endorsement. 362 00:24:58,666 --> 00:25:00,691 If what's left of my head holds out. 363 00:25:03,104 --> 00:25:05,129 - April! - Uncle Rockwell, what are you doing here? 364 00:25:05,206 --> 00:25:07,299 Listen. 365 00:25:07,375 --> 00:25:10,811 Remember this morning, you told me, uh, you knew where Rita Marlowe was hiding? 366 00:25:10,879 --> 00:25:12,870 - But that's a secret. - Well, tell me, honey... 367 00:25:12,947 --> 00:25:15,313 because, uh, it could mean a vice presidency for me. 368 00:25:15,383 --> 00:25:18,614 Vice president? Uncle Rockwell, you've been drinking again. 369 00:25:18,686 --> 00:25:20,881 Here. You eat some popcorn, and you'll feel a lot better. 370 00:25:20,955 --> 00:25:23,651 I'm okay, honey. You just tell me what Rita's address is. 371 00:25:23,725 --> 00:25:26,353 Did you say something about my allowance this morning? 372 00:25:26,427 --> 00:25:29,624 - I said it was doubled. - I think the address is, uh- 373 00:25:29,697 --> 00:25:33,326 - All right, tripled! - No, no. It must be- 374 00:25:33,401 --> 00:25:36,199 Oh, come on, Ap'! Name your own figure. 375 00:25:36,271 --> 00:25:39,638 - She's at the Knickerbocker Towers. - Bandit. 376 00:25:41,943 --> 00:25:44,138 Three bags of popcorn. 377 00:25:47,048 --> 00:25:50,381 Well, if you�d just close your big mouth and let me slip a word in sidewise... 378 00:25:50,451 --> 00:25:52,919 I'd explain it to you. 379 00:25:52,987 --> 00:25:55,888 Oh, I know you're busy shooting retakes, Bobo, sweetie... 380 00:25:55,957 --> 00:25:58,983 but I simply had to call you and tell you that I couldn't care less. 381 00:25:59,060 --> 00:26:01,893 That it's simply "divoon" being away from you! 382 00:26:01,963 --> 00:26:04,431 Easy! Not so hard! 383 00:26:04,499 --> 00:26:06,694 What? 384 00:26:06,768 --> 00:26:09,259 What do you mean, who's here? 385 00:26:09,337 --> 00:26:12,204 Oh, well, of course it isn't Vi. 386 00:26:12,273 --> 00:26:14,673 Silly. 387 00:26:14,742 --> 00:26:18,041 Why do you suppose I came to New York? 388 00:26:18,112 --> 00:26:21,604 - He's burning. Vi, talk like a man. - What for? 389 00:26:21,683 --> 00:26:24,277 Well, so Bobo'll think there's a man here! 390 00:26:24,352 --> 00:26:27,287 - I may look like a man, but I don't sound like one. - Oh! 391 00:26:29,190 --> 00:26:31,750 He's a very influential New Yorker. 392 00:26:31,826 --> 00:26:36,388 Right now, he's completely engrossed, unpopping the champagne. 393 00:26:39,367 --> 00:26:43,428 Vi! If that's the bellboy, bring him in. 394 00:26:43,504 --> 00:26:47,565 I'll have him talk to Bobo. 395 00:26:47,642 --> 00:26:50,110 How do you do? Uh, I'm Rockwell Hunter. 396 00:26:50,178 --> 00:26:52,442 - Come in, Rockwell! - Thank you. 397 00:26:52,513 --> 00:26:55,107 Uh, I came to see Miss Marlowe. 398 00:26:55,183 --> 00:26:58,152 We hardly want overheated champagne. 399 00:26:58,219 --> 00:27:01,382 It's room temperature now, but the room temperature's changing... 400 00:27:01,456 --> 00:27:03,890 if you get my cruder meaning. 401 00:27:03,958 --> 00:27:06,756 Him! Why, he's not even a bellboy! 402 00:27:06,828 --> 00:27:11,094 Never mind the uniforms. You just want the voice. Speak, boy. 403 00:27:11,165 --> 00:27:14,066 Uh, Miss Marlowe, I'm Rockwell Hunter. 404 00:27:14,135 --> 00:27:18,538 Rockwell Hunter? Oh, his name sounds very influential. 405 00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:23,438 His name only so happens to be Rockwell Hunter. 406 00:27:23,511 --> 00:27:25,502 What do you do? 407 00:27:25,580 --> 00:27:28,071 Hmm? Um... 408 00:27:28,149 --> 00:27:30,276 I work for, uh, La Salle, Jr., Raskin... 409 00:27:30,351 --> 00:27:33,445 uh, uh, uh, Poo- uh, Pooley and Crocket. 410 00:27:33,521 --> 00:27:35,512 The advertising agency? 411 00:27:35,590 --> 00:27:39,151 All those names, how crazy influential. 412 00:27:41,929 --> 00:27:45,592 He's only the great, big influential advertising man. That's all he is. 413 00:27:45,667 --> 00:27:47,658 What do you do there? 414 00:27:47,735 --> 00:27:51,000 Hmm? Um, I write TV commercials. 415 00:27:51,072 --> 00:27:53,006 TV commercials? Oh, no. 416 00:27:53,074 --> 00:27:56,134 No, I could never go for a guy who did that. Could I? 417 00:27:56,210 --> 00:27:58,201 Only kind you've missed. 418 00:27:59,781 --> 00:28:01,874 Better think of something else. 419 00:28:01,949 --> 00:28:05,112 What? Yes, I told you, sweetie. 420 00:28:05,186 --> 00:28:10,089 He's Rock Huntley of La Salt, Ratskin, Dooley and Crumpet. 421 00:28:12,193 --> 00:28:14,127 What's a better job at that crazy place? 422 00:28:14,195 --> 00:28:18,029 Well, uh, vice president is considerably better. 423 00:28:18,099 --> 00:28:23,059 Never mention vice. You see, those confidence magazines always get on your back. 424 00:28:23,137 --> 00:28:25,386 I know! You're president. 425 00:28:25,519 --> 00:28:29,250 He's only the president of the agency, sweetie. 426 00:28:29,323 --> 00:28:33,919 Oh, Miss Marlowe, I'm not president! I just write TV commercials. 427 00:28:33,995 --> 00:28:37,328 Oh, Rock Huntington- 428 00:28:37,398 --> 00:28:39,593 I know I'm oh, so kissable... 429 00:28:39,667 --> 00:28:43,626 but why don't you pour the champagne first, Lover Doll? 430 00:28:43,704 --> 00:28:45,899 It's, uh, Hunter, not Huntington. 431 00:28:45,973 --> 00:28:49,101 Shh. How can I remember? 432 00:28:49,176 --> 00:28:51,770 I'm all excited because you're loving me up. 433 00:28:54,648 --> 00:28:57,617 - The Lover Doll did it! He's winging. - So am I. 434 00:28:57,685 --> 00:29:00,586 I'll be back. I'm going for a little bit more steam. 435 00:29:00,654 --> 00:29:02,986 I think my head still needs reblocking. 436 00:29:03,057 --> 00:29:05,525 Oh, no, no, no! You can't leave. Wait a minute. Stay here. 437 00:29:05,593 --> 00:29:08,528 You've got to say something so he knows that I have a man in here. 438 00:29:08,596 --> 00:29:10,621 Come on. Come on. 439 00:29:10,698 --> 00:29:13,098 Please. I'll do you a favor sometime. 440 00:29:13,167 --> 00:29:18,036 As a matter of fact, I did want to talk to you, if I may, about getting your endorsement. 441 00:29:18,105 --> 00:29:22,474 Now, don't start talking dirty. You can always tell a writer. 442 00:29:22,543 --> 00:29:25,842 Go on. Her word's good, for an actress. 443 00:29:28,883 --> 00:29:31,010 Mmm. 444 00:29:32,787 --> 00:29:36,314 Hello there, sweetie. Uh, this is Rockwell P. Hunter... 445 00:29:36,390 --> 00:29:41,123 Lover Doll and also president of L.S.J.R.P. and C. 446 00:29:41,195 --> 00:29:43,356 Spencer Tracy couldn't have done it better. 447 00:29:43,431 --> 00:29:45,456 Thank you very much, Miss Marlowe. 448 00:29:45,533 --> 00:29:49,162 You're the end, darling. Go ahead. Tell him we're in business together. 449 00:29:49,236 --> 00:29:51,227 - Business? - Pour it on. 450 00:29:51,305 --> 00:29:53,899 It's crazy. 451 00:29:53,974 --> 00:29:56,204 Uh, yes, sweetie. 452 00:29:56,277 --> 00:30:01,010 I'm also, uh, president of Rita Marlowe Productions, Incorporated, Limited, sweetie. 453 00:30:01,082 --> 00:30:04,017 That'll just kill him. But don't leave me out. 454 00:30:04,085 --> 00:30:06,645 I have to be important in my own incorporated. 455 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:11,384 Sorry, I seem to have omitted your screen credit. Lingo of the trade. 456 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,551 Yes, uh, sweetie. 457 00:30:14,628 --> 00:30:16,926 Uh, I'm president of Rita Marlowe Productions, Incorporated... 458 00:30:16,997 --> 00:30:19,056 but Miss Marlowe is the titular head of the company. 459 00:30:25,773 --> 00:30:28,367 You're hurting me. 460 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,125 But the big news today is from Hollywood... 461 00:30:55,202 --> 00:30:59,434 and the report that TV star, Bobo Brannigansky, the Jungle Man... 462 00:30:59,507 --> 00:31:03,204 and Rita Marlowe, cinema queen, have broken up. 463 00:31:03,277 --> 00:31:08,112 Bobo, interviewed in a Hollywood jungle after a long-distance conversation with Rita... 464 00:31:08,182 --> 00:31:11,913 had this to say to our Hollywood reporter, Dick Whittinghill. 465 00:31:11,986 --> 00:31:14,216 This is Dick Whittinghill in Hollywood. 466 00:31:14,288 --> 00:31:16,279 We're in a television jungle... 467 00:31:16,357 --> 00:31:20,794 and we're going to interview Bobo Brannigansky, the Jungle Man. 468 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,991 - Bobo? - Yes? 469 00:31:30,037 --> 00:31:33,837 Bobo, what did Rita tell you about her new boyfriend? 470 00:31:33,908 --> 00:31:37,344 Well, she calls him her Lover Doll. 471 00:31:37,411 --> 00:31:39,436 I don't mind that. 472 00:31:39,513 --> 00:31:42,914 But you see, if she'd fallen for royalty- 473 00:31:42,983 --> 00:31:46,248 - Mm-hmm? - A duke or an earl... 474 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,948 even a prince, it wouldn't have been so bad. 475 00:31:49,023 --> 00:31:54,086 But a huckster? I get cold sweats thinkin' about it. 476 00:31:54,161 --> 00:31:58,097 My makeup won't stay on. Even my hair piece is coming loose. 477 00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:03,693 - Oh, so Rita told you who Lover Doll is? - Yeah. 478 00:32:03,771 --> 00:32:06,865 President of one of those advertising places... 479 00:32:06,941 --> 00:32:10,342 with all the names, like they can't make up their minds. 480 00:32:10,411 --> 00:32:14,177 Name's Hunter. Rockwell Hunter. 481 00:32:14,248 --> 00:32:17,217 Uncle Rockwell and Rita Marlowe? 482 00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:23,555 - Oh, no. 483 00:32:23,624 --> 00:32:26,024 Gotta be another Rockwell Hunter. 484 00:32:28,429 --> 00:32:32,331 Bye-bye Evelyn. Be a good girl at the psychiatrist's. 485 00:32:32,399 --> 00:32:34,890 Daddy, I just heard on the car radio... 486 00:32:34,969 --> 00:32:37,199 Rita Marlowe's in love with Rock Hunter! 487 00:32:38,606 --> 00:32:42,406 Wait, dear. I'll go with you. 488 00:32:42,476 --> 00:32:45,639 According to Bobo Brannigansky, Rita Marlowe's new flame... 489 00:32:45,713 --> 00:32:48,841 is the influential advertising executive, Rockwell Hunter... 490 00:32:48,916 --> 00:32:51,714 President of La Salle, Jr., Raskin, Pooley and Crocket. 491 00:32:51,785 --> 00:32:53,912 I'm not worried about Rita and Lover Doll. 492 00:32:53,988 --> 00:32:55,956 You just watch. 493 00:32:56,023 --> 00:33:00,221 Rita will come crawling back to me on her hands and knees. 494 00:33:00,294 --> 00:33:05,197 - Well, back to retakes. - Thank you, Bobo Brannigansky! 495 00:33:09,637 --> 00:33:11,662 So long, folks. 496 00:33:11,739 --> 00:33:16,438 On my hands and knees! Did you hear that? The ingrate! 497 00:33:16,510 --> 00:33:19,877 It's your own fault. You spoil all those creeps you pick up. 498 00:33:19,947 --> 00:33:22,415 I picked him up. I can pick him down. 499 00:33:22,483 --> 00:33:24,508 Where are you going? 500 00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:26,576 When I get through with him, his hair'll be so loose... 501 00:33:26,654 --> 00:33:29,680 he'll be in the road company of The King And I. 502 00:33:31,959 --> 00:33:35,725 - Where is Dolly Doll? - Shh. Mr. Rufus! Uncle Rockwell's still asleep. 503 00:33:35,796 --> 00:33:37,787 He must have come in late last night. 504 00:33:37,865 --> 00:33:41,699 I know, and we're on the gravy choo-choo, chickie. 505 00:33:41,769 --> 00:33:43,930 Your "unc-y" and Rita Marlowe are an item. 506 00:33:44,004 --> 00:33:47,872 - You mean what I heard on TV- - It's front page, except for the Times. 507 00:33:51,979 --> 00:33:57,076 Yesterday an autograph, today an aunt. 508 00:34:01,322 --> 00:34:03,916 Hiya, Rockwell! 509 00:34:03,991 --> 00:34:06,391 Hiya, Lover Doll! 510 00:34:11,532 --> 00:34:15,559 Now do you believe me? You are the biggest thing since chlorophyll. 511 00:34:15,636 --> 00:34:19,094 - What do they want out there? - They want to see Rita Marlowe's new heartbeat. 512 00:34:19,173 --> 00:34:21,164 Heartbeat? 513 00:34:21,241 --> 00:34:23,266 I don't have a decent corpuscle left. 514 00:34:23,344 --> 00:34:25,904 Hello? Oh, yes, Miss Parsons. 515 00:34:25,979 --> 00:34:28,004 Ah, just a minute. It's Louella. 516 00:34:28,082 --> 00:34:31,313 - She wants the exclusive on your marriage plans. - Jenny's my exclusive! 517 00:34:31,385 --> 00:34:35,981 Miss Marlowe hasn't set the "datey" date, but you'll be the first to know, Lolly. 518 00:34:36,056 --> 00:34:39,685 Jenny! What's she gonna think when she reads all this nonsense? 519 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:44,857 - She will understand. Now! What really happened, hmm? - Nothing! 520 00:34:44,932 --> 00:34:47,526 Rita just used me to make her- her Jungle Man jealous. 521 00:34:47,601 --> 00:34:50,593 That's all there was to it! I went along with it to get the endorsement. 522 00:34:50,671 --> 00:34:53,435 Hello. 523 00:34:53,507 --> 00:34:57,102 Oh, hiya, Earl! Earl Wilson. Just a minute. I'll ask him. 524 00:34:57,177 --> 00:34:59,668 - He wants to know Rita's measurements. - How would I know? 525 00:34:59,747 --> 00:35:01,772 He doesn't know. It was dark. 526 00:35:01,849 --> 00:35:04,044 Okay, Earl. He'll appreciate that. 527 00:35:04,118 --> 00:35:06,177 He's sending you a tape measure. 528 00:35:06,253 --> 00:35:09,120 What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in school! 529 00:35:09,189 --> 00:35:12,317 - And have my future aunt come to a dirty house? - She's not your future aunt! 530 00:35:12,393 --> 00:35:15,362 Watch yourself. Your future aunt lives upstairs. 531 00:35:15,429 --> 00:35:17,989 Uncle Rockwell, it's biology. Don't fight it. 532 00:35:18,065 --> 00:35:20,363 You get rolling, and you go to school! 533 00:35:20,434 --> 00:35:23,164 My own niece is cracking. 534 00:35:23,237 --> 00:35:25,228 Did you get the endorsement? That's the main thing. 535 00:35:25,305 --> 00:35:27,466 No, but she promised. I left there. I came home. 536 00:35:27,541 --> 00:35:30,476 I had a couple of... nightcaps, and went to bed. That's all there was to it. 537 00:35:30,544 --> 00:35:33,308 And woke up to find you had Rita Marlowe in the palm of your hand. 538 00:35:33,380 --> 00:35:35,712 Palm of my hand? You haven't seen Rita Marlowe. 539 00:35:35,783 --> 00:35:38,911 Don't be shy, laddie. Let success go to your head! 540 00:35:38,986 --> 00:35:41,216 Success? How am I a success? 541 00:35:41,288 --> 00:35:45,520 A TV Jungle Man shoots off his mouth under a prop banyan tree, and I'm a success? 542 00:35:45,592 --> 00:35:47,651 I'm the same failure I've always been. 543 00:35:47,728 --> 00:35:50,822 I don't have the talent to keep my pipe lit! 544 00:35:50,898 --> 00:35:53,366 We're not talking about talent! 545 00:35:53,434 --> 00:35:57,370 If talent had anything to do with success, Brooks Brothers would go out of business... 546 00:35:57,438 --> 00:35:59,702 television studios would be turned into supermarkets. 547 00:35:59,773 --> 00:36:01,764 We are talking about success. 548 00:36:01,842 --> 00:36:06,006 A world where fancy foreign cars replace subways and bus transfers! 549 00:36:06,079 --> 00:36:08,673 Where all women are beautiful and willing. 550 00:36:08,749 --> 00:36:14,016 A world created, designed and running like a charm for those few who have scaled the heights... 551 00:36:14,087 --> 00:36:16,612 broken through the "soundy barrier" by whatever fashion... 552 00:36:16,690 --> 00:36:20,683 but invariably, by being at the right place at the right time... 553 00:36:20,761 --> 00:36:26,222 when success, like a crock of cherries, comes crashing down on the head of Fortune's child... 554 00:36:26,300 --> 00:36:28,291 as it did on yours. 555 00:36:28,368 --> 00:36:31,929 There she was, an actress fresh from the shores of Romanoff's! 556 00:36:32,005 --> 00:36:34,633 There were you with a hangover, fresh from the steam baths... 557 00:36:34,708 --> 00:36:39,702 standing on the threshold, the veritable threshold of success! 558 00:36:39,780 --> 00:36:43,807 I rest my case, and may it be Napoleon brandy. 559 00:36:43,884 --> 00:36:47,285 Now what? 560 00:36:51,825 --> 00:36:54,487 Well, it's a good thing April cleaned house. 561 00:36:54,561 --> 00:36:56,791 Oh, no! 562 00:37:02,069 --> 00:37:07,132 There's that fancy foreign car, and does she look willing. 563 00:37:18,752 --> 00:37:20,344 Ooh! 564 00:37:22,189 --> 00:37:26,091 Oh, look at this. 565 00:37:26,159 --> 00:37:28,150 - I gotta go upstairs to Jenny. - Wait. 566 00:37:28,228 --> 00:37:30,253 You can tell her later. She'll understand. 567 00:37:30,330 --> 00:37:32,924 Do you realize she just hit me with her prize geranium? 568 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,163 I'll explain everything to her. What's Rita saying? 569 00:37:40,340 --> 00:37:42,331 - Turn on the TV. - Which station? 570 00:37:42,409 --> 00:37:45,003 Any station. It's like when the president speaks. 571 00:37:47,714 --> 00:37:50,808 Ooh, yes. You might say that with me and Lover Doll... 572 00:37:50,884 --> 00:37:54,285 it was love at first sight. 573 00:37:54,354 --> 00:37:57,221 Love at first sight? She's a nut. 574 00:37:57,291 --> 00:37:59,452 This could be happening to an unknown bellboy. 575 00:37:59,526 --> 00:38:01,517 Well, it's happening to you. Listen. 576 00:38:01,595 --> 00:38:05,156 Doll just looked at me, and suddenly my heart went pop. 577 00:38:08,936 --> 00:38:11,166 You know, like a girdle does when you walk fast- 578 00:38:11,238 --> 00:38:13,399 Except, I wouldn't know, because I never wear one. 579 00:38:13,473 --> 00:38:19,207 - You girdle popper, you! - Oh, she's lying. She's lying! 580 00:38:19,279 --> 00:38:23,375 Why, she was under a sheet when I first saw her. 581 00:38:23,450 --> 00:38:25,475 Oh, Bobo was all right... 582 00:38:25,552 --> 00:38:28,020 except he always had the smell of his leading ladies on him. 583 00:38:28,088 --> 00:38:30,318 They're monkeys, you know. 584 00:38:30,390 --> 00:38:33,359 So naturally, I became interested in the intellectual type... 585 00:38:33,427 --> 00:38:35,554 who uses that crazy soap. 586 00:38:42,402 --> 00:38:45,496 - She's coming up here. - Now you can get her endorsement. 587 00:38:45,572 --> 00:38:48,666 Endorsement! You get her endorsement. I'm going upstairs to Jenny. 588 00:38:48,742 --> 00:38:52,007 Girdle pops! Lover Doll! Crazy soap! 589 00:38:52,079 --> 00:38:54,206 She's made an idiot out of me! 590 00:38:54,281 --> 00:38:57,546 Great! The perfect qualification. You'll probably end up president of the agency. 591 00:38:57,618 --> 00:39:00,246 I'm so excited, I don't know which dress to wear. 592 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:04,347 Oh, Uncle Rockwell, you must be loaded with biology! 593 00:39:04,424 --> 00:39:07,951 - I'm loaded with dirt. - You think of that kid's face if you blow this deal. 594 00:39:08,028 --> 00:39:10,053 I'm thinking of those other geraniums. 595 00:39:10,130 --> 00:39:12,291 Get the endorsement, you can afford orange blossoms. 596 00:39:12,366 --> 00:39:15,563 Let Junior get his own signature! For years he was too big a man to even notice me! 597 00:39:15,636 --> 00:39:18,070 Now, all of a sudden, why sh- 598 00:39:18,138 --> 00:39:21,471 Hello. Good morning, L. S! 599 00:39:24,277 --> 00:39:26,768 Junior. Yes, L.S. 600 00:39:26,847 --> 00:39:29,475 - He's right here. - Junior? 601 00:39:32,486 --> 00:39:35,455 Mr. La Salle, Jr? Calling me? 602 00:39:47,668 --> 00:39:51,229 Tell Junior to call later. I'm busy. 603 00:39:53,373 --> 00:39:55,398 I can't tell him that. He knows you're here. 604 00:39:55,475 --> 00:39:59,411 Rufus, if you're going to be a success, be a success. 605 00:40:03,183 --> 00:40:05,879 Success, here I come. 606 00:40:07,988 --> 00:40:10,456 Good morning, Dolly. 607 00:40:10,524 --> 00:40:13,254 Hiya, baby. 608 00:40:17,564 --> 00:40:21,500 He's busy, L.S., really busy. 609 00:40:23,370 --> 00:40:26,430 Mmm. 610 00:40:27,774 --> 00:40:30,641 She wears a girdle. 611 00:41:10,751 --> 00:41:13,049 Terribly confused, Miss Marlowe. 612 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,089 Well, there's nothing to be confused about. It's all very simple. 613 00:41:16,156 --> 00:41:21,059 Simple? I don't even know... where I am or what I'm doing or where we're going. 614 00:41:21,128 --> 00:41:24,222 All right, I'll explain. Point one. 615 00:41:24,297 --> 00:41:26,697 You want me to sign your crazy lipstick thing, don't you? 616 00:41:26,767 --> 00:41:29,235 Yes! That's-That's how this whole thing started. 617 00:41:29,302 --> 00:41:31,327 All right. Point two. 618 00:41:31,404 --> 00:41:34,999 I didn't expect Bobo to shoot off his mouth to the reporters like he did. 619 00:41:35,075 --> 00:41:37,270 But he did make us headlines all over the country... 620 00:41:37,344 --> 00:41:39,608 and that kind of publicity, you can't even buy! 621 00:41:39,679 --> 00:41:42,705 Why, the studio even called me this morning and told me to keep it up. 622 00:41:42,783 --> 00:41:44,774 They said it was good for my next picture... 623 00:41:44,851 --> 00:41:46,944 which is a Russian drama about two Russian brothers. 624 00:41:47,020 --> 00:41:49,716 The studio's worried about my acting in it... 625 00:41:49,790 --> 00:41:52,884 so they figured the publicity would do me and the picture some good. 626 00:41:52,959 --> 00:41:55,621 So, you'll get your endorsement, then everybody'll be happy. 627 00:41:55,695 --> 00:41:57,720 Simple, huh? 628 00:41:57,798 --> 00:42:00,130 Then you will sign the endorsement, Miss Marlowe? 629 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,691 Well, of course. Anytime you say. 630 00:42:02,769 --> 00:42:05,567 - Oh! - Well, is it a deal? 631 00:42:05,639 --> 00:42:07,732 Oh, it's a deal. 632 00:42:07,808 --> 00:42:11,608 I told you it was simple. You do something for me, I do something for you. 633 00:42:13,046 --> 00:42:16,914 She agreed? Great! I'll draw up the contract. 634 00:42:16,983 --> 00:42:20,384 I knew you'd come through, boy. A Harvard man never fails. 635 00:42:20,453 --> 00:42:22,444 How much did you agree to pay her? 636 00:42:22,522 --> 00:42:24,547 We didn't talk money. 637 00:42:24,624 --> 00:42:27,491 She just agreed to do this for me, and I do something for her. 638 00:42:27,561 --> 00:42:30,587 What? No. She didn't mean that. 639 00:42:30,664 --> 00:42:33,326 What kind of mind have you got? 640 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,834 No, Rufe, that isn't the way the banana splits. 641 00:42:35,902 --> 00:42:40,066 She just meant that she'd scratch my back if I'd scratch hers. 642 00:42:45,178 --> 00:42:47,772 We appreciate what you're doing for the agency, Miss Marlowe. 643 00:42:47,848 --> 00:42:52,114 Oh, forget it. Now, all we have to do is to make you into a great lover. 644 00:42:52,185 --> 00:42:54,278 Great what? 645 00:42:54,354 --> 00:42:58,484 At least you're going to have to look like a great lover, so I'll look good. 646 00:42:58,558 --> 00:43:00,753 Would I pick on someone who wasn't the greatest? 647 00:43:00,827 --> 00:43:03,455 Oh, I wouldn't think so... 648 00:43:03,530 --> 00:43:06,988 not with those measurements, but you did. 649 00:43:07,067 --> 00:43:09,297 Don't sell yourself short, Dolly. 650 00:43:09,369 --> 00:43:11,530 You know your way around a kiss. 651 00:43:11,605 --> 00:43:14,096 I'm sorry about that. I- I don't know why it happened. 652 00:43:14,174 --> 00:43:18,110 Everything was happening so fast, I- Something snapped. 653 00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:20,169 Something snapped? You snapped. 654 00:43:20,247 --> 00:43:22,306 And you're not a bad snapper, Dolly. 655 00:43:22,382 --> 00:43:26,318 I know. I've probably been snapped at more than any girl in history... 656 00:43:26,386 --> 00:43:28,535 except that Communist queen- You know. 657 00:43:28,668 --> 00:43:31,296 - Catherine the Great? - Yes. Yes, her. 658 00:43:31,371 --> 00:43:34,534 Well, she wasn't a Communist. She was a czarina. 659 00:43:34,607 --> 00:43:37,132 I don't care what was wrong with her. 660 00:43:37,210 --> 00:43:41,772 She never had some dopey director making her retake and retake her kissing scenes. 661 00:43:41,848 --> 00:43:45,716 At the end of a day's work at the studio, I don't have a decent pucker left! 662 00:43:45,785 --> 00:43:49,881 All I can do at night is sit home and watch my old movies on television. 663 00:43:49,956 --> 00:43:53,551 So, when it comes to kissing, I know. 664 00:43:53,626 --> 00:43:57,221 But you're not so bad, snapper. 665 00:43:58,665 --> 00:44:01,930 Well, thank you very much, Miss Marlowe. 666 00:44:02,001 --> 00:44:05,801 Probably your first time in the big leagues, too, hmm? 667 00:44:05,872 --> 00:44:10,400 Yes. I guess up to now, I've just been a bush leaguer. 668 00:44:15,081 --> 00:44:17,549 Okay, here we are. 669 00:44:19,185 --> 00:44:22,245 Hey! This is a Justice of the Peace! 670 00:44:22,322 --> 00:44:24,517 - I know. - Wait a minute. 671 00:44:24,591 --> 00:44:26,616 People get married in here! 672 00:44:26,693 --> 00:44:29,526 - Endorsement or no endorsement- - Don't be silly. 673 00:44:29,596 --> 00:44:33,191 In my racket you get married, and your fan mail takes a dive. 674 00:44:33,266 --> 00:44:36,531 - Unless you're Debbie and Eddie. - I warn you, I can't sing. 675 00:44:36,603 --> 00:44:39,868 Don't look now, but there are photographers stashed all around the place. 676 00:44:39,939 --> 00:44:41,964 Photographers? What for? 677 00:44:42,041 --> 00:44:45,169 The studio publicity department got them here. It's all fixed. 678 00:44:45,245 --> 00:44:48,442 And don't you worry. You're gonna look great in the newspapers. 679 00:44:48,514 --> 00:44:50,880 This is the first part of your Lover Doll buildup. 680 00:44:50,950 --> 00:44:52,975 Lover Doll. 681 00:44:53,052 --> 00:44:55,043 Hey! 682 00:45:19,145 --> 00:45:22,012 Oh, la, la. Lover Doll. 683 00:45:40,500 --> 00:45:42,525 Nope. She's taking a bath. 684 00:45:42,602 --> 00:45:46,265 Okay, Muscles. I'll tell her. Bye. 685 00:45:46,339 --> 00:45:49,672 I've got to give it to you, honey. Those headlines did it. 686 00:45:49,742 --> 00:45:51,733 Bobo says he's awfully sorry. 687 00:45:51,811 --> 00:45:55,679 That blonde didn't mean a thing. In fact, she was a brunette. 688 00:45:55,748 --> 00:46:00,378 - When do we leave? - Leave? And walk out on all this publicity? Mmm. 689 00:46:00,453 --> 00:46:03,616 Publicity? You can get all of that you want in Hollywood. 690 00:46:03,690 --> 00:46:08,024 Oh, hold the phone. This is Vi you're talking to. 691 00:46:08,094 --> 00:46:11,120 Don't tell me you've gone and flipped for Rock? 692 00:46:11,197 --> 00:46:13,222 Well, I'll be a writer's subplot. You have. 693 00:46:13,299 --> 00:46:18,601 Vi, I know it all started out to be a stunt to burn Bobo... 694 00:46:18,671 --> 00:46:22,903 but Rocky kissed me and then- 695 00:46:22,975 --> 00:46:26,069 Something happened. 696 00:46:26,145 --> 00:46:29,273 Honest, it was just like electricity. 697 00:46:29,349 --> 00:46:31,374 Hmm, I know. That wonderful A.C. /D.C. feeling. 698 00:46:31,451 --> 00:46:33,442 But that is not love. 699 00:46:33,519 --> 00:46:36,317 Oh, it's close enough. 700 00:46:36,389 --> 00:46:38,414 Now, you listen to me. 701 00:46:38,491 --> 00:46:41,585 You've got to stop going overboard for every man who makes you tingle. 702 00:46:41,661 --> 00:46:44,960 First there was that English actor who wore the sunglass monocle... 703 00:46:45,031 --> 00:46:48,967 and then the Academy Award winner who had you polishing his Oscar. 704 00:46:49,035 --> 00:46:51,060 I can't think of the others. 705 00:46:51,137 --> 00:46:53,765 And then there's Bobo, and then Rocky... 706 00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:58,300 and all because you can't forget George Schmidlapp. 707 00:46:58,378 --> 00:47:01,905 What you need is a psychiatrist or a do-it-yourself couch. 708 00:47:01,981 --> 00:47:05,007 I told you never to mention George Schmidlapp. 709 00:47:05,084 --> 00:47:08,679 I've been quiet long enough. His name is George Schmidlapp. 710 00:47:08,755 --> 00:47:11,315 And he's the actor who awarded you first prize... 711 00:47:11,391 --> 00:47:13,518 in the Miss Florida Grapefruit Contest. 712 00:47:13,593 --> 00:47:15,925 And he's the one you can't forget and never will. 713 00:47:15,995 --> 00:47:17,986 So why do you keep pickin' up with these schnooks? 714 00:47:18,064 --> 00:47:21,864 Always trying to turn them into unreasonable facsimiles of George. 715 00:47:21,934 --> 00:47:25,131 Don't you realize you can never fall in love again like you did with George? 716 00:47:25,204 --> 00:47:27,195 You don't know what you're talking about. 717 00:47:27,273 --> 00:47:29,639 What do you know about love, anyway? 718 00:47:29,709 --> 00:47:32,542 What do I know about love? 719 00:47:32,612 --> 00:47:37,276 Well, this may come as a shock, but I was young and pretty once, like you... 720 00:47:37,350 --> 00:47:40,444 and equipped with just as many extras. 721 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:42,511 I was nuts about a guy. 722 00:47:42,588 --> 00:47:45,523 I was working for a silent screen actress then. 723 00:47:45,591 --> 00:47:48,788 This guy I was nuts about was our milkman. 724 00:47:48,861 --> 00:47:51,557 I'd get a throat full of heart every a. m... 725 00:47:51,631 --> 00:47:56,125 when he'd drive up to our backdoor on Copa de Ora in Bel Air. 726 00:47:56,202 --> 00:48:00,536 The sound of the milk bottles rattling and cream bottles jiggling- 727 00:48:00,606 --> 00:48:02,631 Oh, it was something! 728 00:48:02,708 --> 00:48:04,869 But he couldn't see me for dust. 729 00:48:04,944 --> 00:48:07,845 Stardust he saw. 730 00:48:07,914 --> 00:48:12,180 He had the pains for the gal I was working for, and she must have liked his brand of cream... 731 00:48:12,251 --> 00:48:16,381 because they got married, and he became the producer of all her pictures... 732 00:48:16,456 --> 00:48:19,391 till the talkies came in. 733 00:48:19,459 --> 00:48:22,519 She couldn't speak English, being from Texas. 734 00:48:22,595 --> 00:48:26,361 So the first talkie was a flop, and he left her. 735 00:48:26,432 --> 00:48:28,423 But you know something? 736 00:48:28,501 --> 00:48:33,234 To this day, sometimes when I'm asleep... 737 00:48:33,306 --> 00:48:38,437 I still hear those milk bottles rattling and jiggling. 738 00:48:40,580 --> 00:48:44,346 So, you see, honey, I know something about love. 739 00:48:44,417 --> 00:48:47,409 Not much, but a little. 740 00:48:51,257 --> 00:48:54,954 So, if anyone asks you why I hate milk, you know. 741 00:48:56,162 --> 00:48:58,187 Vi! 742 00:48:58,264 --> 00:49:00,494 Vi! 743 00:49:03,836 --> 00:49:05,827 Vi. 744 00:49:40,973 --> 00:49:43,567 Oh, Vi. 745 00:49:43,643 --> 00:49:46,908 Oh, Vi. I'm awfully sorry. Vi, I didn't know. 746 00:49:46,979 --> 00:49:50,176 I never told anybody before. Never. 747 00:49:50,249 --> 00:49:53,480 But you see, that makes us both alike. 748 00:49:53,553 --> 00:49:56,249 We both have someone we want to forget. 749 00:49:56,322 --> 00:50:00,691 I have Georgie, and, well, you have the milkman. 750 00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,321 So, what's wrong with trying to find someone to help you forget? 751 00:50:04,397 --> 00:50:06,661 I tried that once... 752 00:50:06,732 --> 00:50:11,169 but it got so bad I'd- I'd go to pieces every time I saw a bottle of half-and-half. 753 00:50:12,838 --> 00:50:14,931 Then I went to a psychiatrist. 754 00:50:15,007 --> 00:50:17,202 I was gonna do that too. 755 00:50:17,276 --> 00:50:21,144 Except in Hollywood, they're so busy with producers you can't even get an appointment. 756 00:50:21,213 --> 00:50:26,207 But it didn't work out. The psychiatrist I went to had a couch... 757 00:50:26,285 --> 00:50:28,378 but it was built for two. 758 00:50:28,454 --> 00:50:30,718 - Well, honey. 759 00:50:30,790 --> 00:50:33,384 Here's luck to you. 760 00:50:33,459 --> 00:50:37,452 Maybe- Maybe Rocky can make you forget. 761 00:50:37,530 --> 00:50:42,058 As for me, here's to forgetting the high-caloric way. 762 00:50:44,770 --> 00:50:47,967 - Oh! Oh, Mr. Hunter. - Yes, Pat? 763 00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:50,873 - Could I have your autograph? - Sure. 764 00:50:50,943 --> 00:50:53,571 On my blouse? 765 00:51:01,721 --> 00:51:05,054 - There you are. - Thank you, Mr. Hunter. 766 00:51:05,124 --> 00:51:07,592 Welcome. 767 00:51:17,803 --> 00:51:21,102 Good afternoon, Mr. Hunter. 768 00:51:29,849 --> 00:51:33,876 Twenty-three, 24- 769 00:51:33,953 --> 00:51:35,944 Yes? 770 00:51:36,022 --> 00:51:39,185 Jenny? It's me, Rock. 771 00:51:39,258 --> 00:51:41,590 Just a minute. 772 00:51:46,799 --> 00:51:49,359 Come in, dear. 773 00:51:50,703 --> 00:51:54,605 Dear? Is everything all right, Jenny? 774 00:51:54,674 --> 00:51:57,939 Yes, of course. 775 00:51:58,010 --> 00:52:00,240 Mr. Rufus explained everything. 776 00:52:00,312 --> 00:52:03,611 - I'm sorry I behaved so badly this morning. - Oh. 777 00:52:06,385 --> 00:52:08,410 Well, now, honey. You do understand, don't you? 778 00:52:08,487 --> 00:52:12,116 - That's the only way I could get Rita's endorsement? - Yes, of course. 779 00:52:12,191 --> 00:52:16,924 Naturally, when I first heard the news, my first reaction was completely feminine. 780 00:52:16,996 --> 00:52:19,157 I was hurt, jealous. 781 00:52:19,231 --> 00:52:21,563 Impulsively I wanted to return your ring. 782 00:52:21,634 --> 00:52:24,569 Oh, Jenny. You wouldn't do that. 783 00:52:24,637 --> 00:52:29,165 - No. After some deliberation, I decided not to. - Ah, good. 784 00:52:29,241 --> 00:52:32,768 I reached the conclusion that after all, you are a very attractive man. 785 00:52:32,845 --> 00:52:36,474 Oh, no. I wou- I wouldn't say that. 786 00:52:36,549 --> 00:52:38,744 - You are, dear. - Thank you. 787 00:52:38,818 --> 00:52:41,981 And that... actress is a very glamorous woman. 788 00:52:42,054 --> 00:52:44,921 It would be perfectly natural that you could become attracted to her. 789 00:52:44,990 --> 00:52:46,981 But I'm not attracted to her! 790 00:52:47,059 --> 00:52:49,084 The whole thing's publicity. 791 00:52:49,161 --> 00:52:51,686 I'm going there now to get her signature on her contract and- 792 00:52:51,764 --> 00:52:55,427 Nevertheless, the situation made me take stock of myself- 793 00:52:55,501 --> 00:52:58,766 evaluate my assets and liabilities. 794 00:52:58,838 --> 00:53:01,466 Honey, I love your assets and liabilities. 795 00:53:01,540 --> 00:53:04,373 - Please, Rock. Let me finish. - Sorry. 796 00:53:04,443 --> 00:53:09,506 I realize now that when I went to college, I made a great mistake just developing my mind. 797 00:53:09,582 --> 00:53:11,846 A woman must compete for her man... 798 00:53:11,917 --> 00:53:13,942 and she should stay on her toes. 799 00:53:14,019 --> 00:53:16,283 For instance, to start at the top... 800 00:53:16,355 --> 00:53:18,346 would you like me to change the color of my hair? 801 00:53:18,424 --> 00:53:20,984 No! I love your hair just as it is. 802 00:53:21,060 --> 00:53:23,324 - I can get it the same color as hers. - No! 803 00:53:23,395 --> 00:53:25,386 I can go to the same drug store she does. 804 00:53:25,464 --> 00:53:27,625 Please, honey. Keep your hair just the way it is. 805 00:53:27,700 --> 00:53:30,794 - I just want you to be satisfied. - Baby, I'm satisfied with you! 806 00:53:30,870 --> 00:53:33,464 Now, my figure. You can't be satisfied with that. 807 00:53:33,539 --> 00:53:35,530 Of course, that will take time. 808 00:53:35,608 --> 00:53:38,168 But if you're going to invest two dollars in a marriage license... 809 00:53:38,244 --> 00:53:40,235 you should get your money's worth. 810 00:53:41,413 --> 00:53:43,404 Twenty-five- 811 00:53:43,482 --> 00:53:45,507 - Jenny, what are you doing? - Push-ups. 812 00:53:45,584 --> 00:53:48,144 Jenny, listen to me. I love you. 813 00:53:48,220 --> 00:53:50,211 You'll love me more. Twenty-eight- 814 00:53:50,289 --> 00:53:52,382 I couldn't love you any more than I do! 815 00:53:52,458 --> 00:53:54,585 Sure, you will. There'll be more of me. 816 00:53:54,660 --> 00:53:57,128 Twenty-nine... 817 00:53:57,196 --> 00:54:00,927 30, 31- 818 00:54:04,236 --> 00:54:07,330 Beat it, kids. Lover Doll isn't here. On your way. 819 00:54:07,406 --> 00:54:09,897 - He's upstairs with Rita. - No, he's not. 820 00:54:09,975 --> 00:54:12,102 - Have you seen Lover Doll in person? - Lover Doll's not here! 821 00:54:15,347 --> 00:54:18,714 - Have you seen Lover Doll in person? - Boy, he must be something! 822 00:54:18,784 --> 00:54:22,550 - Lover Doll isn't here. Come on. - There he is! Lover Doll! 823 00:54:22,621 --> 00:54:25,283 Lover Doll! Lover Doll! Lover Doll! 824 00:54:25,357 --> 00:54:27,382 You man, you! 825 00:54:46,178 --> 00:54:48,203 Where did he go? 826 00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,714 - Who are you looking for? - Lover Doll. 827 00:54:50,783 --> 00:54:53,877 Lover Doll! 828 00:54:55,487 --> 00:54:57,978 Lover Doll? Is Lover Doll around here? 829 00:54:58,057 --> 00:55:00,753 - We didn't see him! - Lover Doll? 830 00:55:00,826 --> 00:55:02,817 Hey, who's that? 831 00:55:02,895 --> 00:55:05,295 It's him! It's Lover Doll! 832 00:55:24,583 --> 00:55:27,677 Oh, Lover Doll! Lover Doll! 833 00:55:27,753 --> 00:55:33,089 Lover Doll! Lover Doll! Lover Doll! 834 00:56:08,830 --> 00:56:11,731 Did you ever in your life see anything like this? 835 00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:14,894 It seems years ago- It was only yesterday- 836 00:56:14,970 --> 00:56:17,438 Only yesterday I was an ordinary guy... 837 00:56:17,506 --> 00:56:19,497 wearing a cheap, gray flannel suit. 838 00:56:19,574 --> 00:56:21,974 Today? Today I'm mobbed. 839 00:56:22,044 --> 00:56:24,638 Today, a piece of my lapel, a piece of shirt tail... 840 00:56:24,713 --> 00:56:27,614 a shoe that needs half-soling, these things are collector's items. 841 00:56:27,683 --> 00:56:29,617 And yet you laugh. 842 00:56:29,685 --> 00:56:33,416 You know, these kids are insane. I don't have sideburns. 843 00:56:33,488 --> 00:56:37,822 Would you believe it? Before I came over here, Bennet Cerf called me up? 844 00:56:37,893 --> 00:56:40,885 Wants to do a book on me, entitled, Always Leave Them Loving. 845 00:56:40,963 --> 00:56:44,330 A king-size bed manufacturer... 846 00:56:44,399 --> 00:56:46,765 wants me to endorse his King Size Special. 847 00:56:46,835 --> 00:56:49,633 "It takes the guesswork out of sleeping." 848 00:56:49,705 --> 00:56:51,832 Ed Murrow wants to Person to Person me. 849 00:56:51,907 --> 00:56:54,842 A Hollywood producer wants me to remake Love Me Tender... 850 00:56:54,910 --> 00:56:56,878 with me playing all the parts. 851 00:56:56,945 --> 00:56:59,140 Imagine me as Debra Paget? 852 00:56:59,214 --> 00:57:01,182 I'm in a crazy world! All because I- 853 00:57:01,249 --> 00:57:03,547 You were at the right door at the wrong time. 854 00:57:03,618 --> 00:57:07,645 - Sit down, Rocky. What you need is a drink. - And how. 855 00:57:07,723 --> 00:57:09,714 Maybe two drinks. 856 00:57:09,791 --> 00:57:12,487 - What'll it be? - Something simple. A- 857 00:57:12,561 --> 00:57:14,495 A bottle and a straw. 858 00:57:14,563 --> 00:57:16,497 You'll get used to being a celebrity. 859 00:57:16,565 --> 00:57:20,524 I've been secretary, companion, confidante, and chief bottle-snatcher... 860 00:57:20,602 --> 00:57:24,163 to glamour queens since the, uh, nickelodeon days. 861 00:57:24,239 --> 00:57:26,230 Fame hits hard, at first. 862 00:57:26,308 --> 00:57:28,435 But you'll get so you love it. 863 00:57:28,510 --> 00:57:30,444 Or wind up at Menninger's. 864 00:57:30,512 --> 00:57:32,446 And believe it or not, Rocky... 865 00:57:32,514 --> 00:57:34,880 - you'll miss it when it ends. - Oh, no, no, no. 866 00:57:34,950 --> 00:57:37,441 No, not me. This is strictly a business deal. 867 00:57:37,519 --> 00:57:40,750 - What's taking her so long? - She's getting dressed. What's your hurry? 868 00:57:40,822 --> 00:57:42,915 I have to get home. 869 00:57:42,991 --> 00:57:47,860 Before a friend of mine... wears herself out, or ends up with short arms. 870 00:57:52,734 --> 00:57:57,228 Whoo! Good evening, Rockwell. 871 00:57:57,305 --> 00:57:59,739 Evening, Miss Marlowe. 872 00:57:59,808 --> 00:58:04,541 Please forgive my appearance. I ran into the future mothers of America. 873 00:58:04,613 --> 00:58:08,310 Oh, what a shame. Vi, haven't we something for Dolly to wear? 874 00:58:08,383 --> 00:58:10,783 Oh, never mind. I- As soon as you sign the contract... 875 00:58:10,852 --> 00:58:13,116 I'll go home in a hearse; no one will ever see me. 876 00:58:13,188 --> 00:58:16,214 We have one of Bobo's suits. We left the coast in such a hurry... 877 00:58:16,291 --> 00:58:18,418 - we accidentally packed it with our things. - Oh, no. 878 00:58:18,493 --> 00:58:21,860 I interviewed Bobo once. His suit would hardly fit me- 879 00:58:21,930 --> 00:58:23,989 Oh! 880 00:58:24,066 --> 00:58:27,763 Oh, you see? You're catching a cold. 881 00:58:27,836 --> 00:58:32,500 Why don't we let the baby dress in Mommy's bedroom? 882 00:58:32,574 --> 00:58:34,508 Come, Rocky. 883 00:58:40,449 --> 00:58:42,542 I'm telling you, you're making the same mistake again. 884 00:58:42,617 --> 00:58:45,177 You're gonna build this guy up, and he's gonna leave you like all the others. 885 00:58:45,253 --> 00:58:47,187 He can't leave me. He needs that endorsement. 886 00:58:47,255 --> 00:58:49,849 Now go take Shamroy for a walk, and stay out late. 887 00:58:49,925 --> 00:58:52,758 - Go see a double feature. - Hmph. Okay. 888 00:58:52,828 --> 00:58:54,853 But we're not gonna see any of your pictures. 889 00:59:18,386 --> 00:59:21,981 - Miss Marlowe? - Oh, yes, Lover Doll. 890 00:59:22,057 --> 00:59:25,254 I'm waiting for you, Dolly-poo. 891 00:59:25,327 --> 00:59:28,854 - Where are you? - Right here, darling. 892 00:59:35,036 --> 00:59:37,527 - The suit is a little large. - You think so? 893 00:59:37,606 --> 00:59:40,837 It's the pants, mostly. The shoulders are all right, hmm? 894 00:59:40,909 --> 00:59:43,776 Sit down here. 895 00:59:45,547 --> 00:59:48,345 I want to show you how you have to act when we go out. 896 00:59:48,416 --> 00:59:52,352 You know, I think Bobo must be a pituitary case. 897 00:59:52,420 --> 00:59:55,389 Well, now, how do I have to act when we go out? 898 00:59:55,457 --> 00:59:59,325 We should be a very romantic couple, like Bill Holden and Jennifer Jones were... 899 00:59:59,394 --> 01:00:01,521 in Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing. 900 01:00:01,596 --> 01:00:04,895 I saw the picture, Miss Marlowe, and I am by no stretch of the imagination... 901 01:00:04,966 --> 01:00:06,991 Bill Holden- that- 902 01:00:07,068 --> 01:00:10,526 Well then, where did you learn to use your lips the way you do? 903 01:00:10,605 --> 01:00:13,802 I don't know. It might be hereditary. 904 01:00:13,875 --> 01:00:17,641 My mother is an accomplished musician. Tuba. Trombone. 905 01:00:17,712 --> 01:00:20,704 Bassoon. Oboe. Brass and woodwinds. 906 01:00:20,782 --> 01:00:24,240 Well, now... 907 01:00:24,319 --> 01:00:29,222 to be a great lover, you must start with a lady's hand. 908 01:00:29,291 --> 01:00:32,886 - Take my hand, Dolly. - I will, as soon as I can find mine. 909 01:00:32,961 --> 01:00:38,263 - There we are. - That's fine. That's just fine. 910 01:00:38,333 --> 01:00:41,359 Now. When you see that the photographers are ready to take our picture... 911 01:00:41,436 --> 01:00:45,031 you must kiss my hand and work your way up my arm. 912 01:00:45,106 --> 01:00:47,734 Up? How far up? 913 01:00:47,809 --> 01:00:50,778 Well, as far as you can go, silly. 914 01:01:13,435 --> 01:01:18,236 No! No, no, no, darling. When you get to my shoulder, you have to kiss me on the lips! 915 01:01:18,306 --> 01:01:23,039 I, uh- I don't think I'm a lover, Miss Marlowe. 916 01:01:23,111 --> 01:01:25,705 Great or otherwise. Besides, we don't look good together. 917 01:01:25,780 --> 01:01:28,578 I- I'm too short for you. You should have a taller man. 918 01:01:28,650 --> 01:01:31,619 When we stand side by side, my-my chin only comes to your shoulders. 919 01:01:31,686 --> 01:01:34,621 Oh, don't you worry. You're gonna be a lot taller. 920 01:01:34,689 --> 01:01:36,987 I had them send a pair over this afternoon. 921 01:01:38,393 --> 01:01:41,760 - A pair of what? - Oh, you'll see. 922 01:01:41,830 --> 01:01:45,163 A lot of actors and small producers on the coast wear them. 923 01:01:45,233 --> 01:01:47,497 Ooh! 924 01:01:58,079 --> 01:02:01,344 You're "divoon." You�re just like John Wayne. 925 01:02:01,416 --> 01:02:04,010 Go ahead, try them. Walk an itty bit. 926 01:02:05,253 --> 01:02:08,984 Oh, that's fine! 927 01:02:09,057 --> 01:02:12,322 I'll get the hang of them, all right. 928 01:02:12,394 --> 01:02:15,227 If my nose doesn't start to bleed. 929 01:02:19,934 --> 01:02:22,835 Dolly Doll! Don't run away from mama. 930 01:02:22,904 --> 01:02:26,237 Dolly? Now, Dolly, where are you going? 931 01:02:53,902 --> 01:02:57,303 Jenny? 932 01:02:57,372 --> 01:02:59,738 Jenny! 933 01:02:59,808 --> 01:03:02,868 Jenny! Oh. 934 01:03:05,046 --> 01:03:08,015 Jenny? 935 01:03:08,083 --> 01:03:11,075 Jenny? Jenny! 936 01:03:11,152 --> 01:03:15,145 Oh, Je- 937 01:03:15,223 --> 01:03:17,953 Oh, Jenny, darling. What have you done? 938 01:03:23,998 --> 01:03:27,559 Oh, Jenny! 939 01:03:30,939 --> 01:03:34,636 Operator, please get me Dr. Cloes on East 74th Street. 940 01:03:39,147 --> 01:03:41,445 - How is she, Doctor? - Shh! 941 01:03:41,516 --> 01:03:44,781 She's exhausted, Rocky. Physically exhausted. 942 01:03:44,853 --> 01:03:47,447 - What's she been doing to herself? - Well... 943 01:03:47,522 --> 01:03:49,888 she's been exercising, you know, doing push-ups? 944 01:03:49,958 --> 01:03:53,086 Oh. I've had a number of cases like that lately. 945 01:03:53,161 --> 01:03:55,186 It's a waste of time, if you know what I mean. 946 01:03:55,263 --> 01:03:58,096 I think so, but- Can I see her? 947 01:03:58,166 --> 01:04:01,033 Well, she's asleep, but you can look in. 948 01:04:22,490 --> 01:04:24,583 Doctor, her arms. They're like- 949 01:04:24,659 --> 01:04:29,426 Merely tightened muscles. Reflex action brought on by the exercising. 950 01:04:29,497 --> 01:04:31,795 Sort of a high charley horse. 951 01:04:31,866 --> 01:04:33,959 They'll come down. She'll be all right tomorrow. 952 01:04:34,035 --> 01:04:36,663 Like I said, Rocky. Push-ups are a waste of time. 953 01:04:36,738 --> 01:04:40,902 It's really better for women to just... go to a store, you know what I mean. 954 01:04:40,975 --> 01:04:43,000 I think so. 955 01:04:43,077 --> 01:04:47,980 - Well, good night, Doctor. - Good night. 956 01:04:48,049 --> 01:04:50,142 Better see your tailor. 957 01:05:25,053 --> 01:05:28,318 Ladies and gentlemen, this break in our motion picture... 958 01:05:28,389 --> 01:05:31,722 is made out of respect for the TV fans in our audience... 959 01:05:31,793 --> 01:05:35,058 who are accustomed to constant interruptions in their programs... 960 01:05:35,129 --> 01:05:37,393 for messages from sponsors. 961 01:05:37,465 --> 01:05:40,229 We want all you TV fans to feel at home... 962 01:05:40,301 --> 01:05:42,326 and not forget the thrill you get... 963 01:05:42,403 --> 01:05:46,032 watching television on your big, 21-inch screens. 964 01:05:46,107 --> 01:05:50,544 I have a 21-inch screen myself, and it's loads of fun. 965 01:05:50,612 --> 01:05:54,309 TV is a remarkable invention. 966 01:05:54,382 --> 01:05:57,374 Where did you go? 967 01:05:57,452 --> 01:06:00,512 Oh. There you are. Hi. As I was saying... 968 01:06:00,588 --> 01:06:02,818 TV is a remarkable invention. 969 01:06:02,891 --> 01:06:04,882 You can sit there in your easy chair... 970 01:06:04,959 --> 01:06:07,154 with your shoes off and a can of beer... 971 01:06:07,228 --> 01:06:10,664 watching that wonderful, clear picture coming into your home... 972 01:06:10,732 --> 01:06:15,101 bringing culture and entertainment to you and your family. 973 01:06:15,169 --> 01:06:19,936 Of course, the great thing about TV is that you see things live at the moment they're happening. 974 01:06:20,008 --> 01:06:22,738 Like old movies made 30 years ago. 975 01:06:22,810 --> 01:06:24,835 Oh, it's splendid! 976 01:06:24,913 --> 01:06:30,681 Ah! Well, now I hope all you TV fans feel wanted. 977 01:06:30,752 --> 01:06:34,085 And lest there are any radio enthusiasts in the audience... 978 01:06:34,155 --> 01:06:36,623 we don't want you to feel slighted. 979 01:06:45,333 --> 01:06:50,396 As you know, Jenny Wells loves Rocky Hunter... 980 01:06:50,471 --> 01:06:53,929 and Rocky Hunter loves Jenny Wells. 981 01:06:54,008 --> 01:06:56,772 But they can't afford to get married. 982 01:06:56,844 --> 01:06:59,904 And now, naughty Rita Marlowe... 983 01:06:59,981 --> 01:07:02,882 has come between nice Jenny Wells... 984 01:07:02,951 --> 01:07:05,613 and sweet Rocky Hunter. 985 01:07:05,687 --> 01:07:08,383 Will Rita get Rocky? 986 01:07:08,456 --> 01:07:11,289 Will Rocky forget his true love, Jenny Wells... 987 01:07:11,359 --> 01:07:16,922 and go off with Rita to fame and fortune and success? 988 01:07:16,998 --> 01:07:22,265 And Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter? 989 01:07:22,337 --> 01:07:25,568 Oh, what will happen? What will happen? 990 01:07:35,216 --> 01:07:38,481 - Yes? - Mr. Hunter is here to see you, Mr. La Salle. 991 01:07:38,553 --> 01:07:41,021 Ask Mr. Hunter to come in. 992 01:07:46,361 --> 01:07:48,852 - Good morning, Mr. La Salle. - Good morning, Mr. Hunter. 993 01:07:48,930 --> 01:07:52,457 I'm happy to see you are speaking to me today. 994 01:07:52,533 --> 01:07:55,024 Oh, dear. I am awfully sorry about that. 995 01:07:55,103 --> 01:07:57,128 I behaved childishly in the corridor. 996 01:07:57,205 --> 01:07:59,765 - I'd like to apologize, sir. - No need for that. 997 01:07:59,841 --> 01:08:01,832 I received exactly what I deserved. 998 01:08:01,909 --> 01:08:06,846 Oh, no. You're just being kind. There's no excuse for behavior like that. 999 01:08:06,914 --> 01:08:10,975 Well, here is Miss Rita Marlowe's signed endorsement. 1000 01:08:11,052 --> 01:08:13,953 Oh, yes. 1001 01:08:14,022 --> 01:08:16,889 She even agreed to do a TV spectacular for us. 1002 01:08:16,958 --> 01:08:20,325 What? How did you ever get her to do that, Mr. Hunter? 1003 01:08:20,395 --> 01:08:25,731 Well, I- I guess you could say, I owe it all to my mother's musicianship. 1004 01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:29,566 But nevertheless, you've done an amazing job for the agency. 1005 01:08:29,637 --> 01:08:31,730 And you've done a lot for me. 1006 01:08:31,806 --> 01:08:35,799 You know, Mr. Hunter? I learned a great deal when you snubbed me yesterday. 1007 01:08:35,877 --> 01:08:39,904 It was conduct completely unbecoming, even for a Harvard man to- 1008 01:08:39,981 --> 01:08:43,747 You know, Mr. Hunter, why I conduct myself in that manner? 1009 01:08:43,818 --> 01:08:47,345 Why I stride down the corridors like a martinet, ignoring everyone? 1010 01:08:47,422 --> 01:08:51,153 You're the boss. The boss can act like a martinet, if he feels like it. 1011 01:08:51,225 --> 01:08:54,752 No, that isn't it. I'm- 1012 01:08:54,829 --> 01:08:58,162 I'm a very frightened man, Mr. Hunter. 1013 01:08:58,232 --> 01:09:01,668 Frightened? Why, frightened of what, Mr. La Salle? 1014 01:09:01,736 --> 01:09:06,070 Frightened because I'm a success by the dubious route of inheritance. 1015 01:09:06,140 --> 01:09:10,406 Being the son of an illustrious parent is far from an easy road, Mr. Hunter. 1016 01:09:10,478 --> 01:09:12,503 I don't think I understand, sir. 1017 01:09:12,580 --> 01:09:15,447 Oh, I'm not trying to excuse my-my actions, but- 1018 01:09:15,516 --> 01:09:20,078 But you see, Mr. Hunter, I'm constantly on my mettle trying to prove... 1019 01:09:20,154 --> 01:09:23,715 - I'm as worthy as my illustrious parent. - Hmm. 1020 01:09:23,791 --> 01:09:29,127 And behind a big desk, camouflaged behind a custom-tailored gray flannel... 1021 01:09:29,197 --> 01:09:32,257 I pretend I am. 1022 01:09:32,333 --> 01:09:36,201 Do you know what I wanted to be before I was cajoled into being a carbon copy... 1023 01:09:36,270 --> 01:09:38,568 of the illustrious founder of this organization? 1024 01:09:38,639 --> 01:09:42,871 This? All this isn't what you want? 1025 01:09:42,944 --> 01:09:45,913 This is far from it. 1026 01:09:45,980 --> 01:09:50,076 Gee whiz. I always thought you had it made. 1027 01:09:50,151 --> 01:09:54,144 - I envied you your success. - I have never "had it made." 1028 01:09:54,222 --> 01:09:57,623 I wanted to be a horticulturalist... 1029 01:09:57,692 --> 01:09:59,922 to develop new roses. 1030 01:09:59,994 --> 01:10:02,326 My success would have been... 1031 01:10:02,396 --> 01:10:04,421 taking first prize at a flower show. 1032 01:10:04,499 --> 01:10:08,663 Perhaps having a new rose named after me. 1033 01:10:10,738 --> 01:10:13,104 Does that sound foolish to you, Mr. Hunter? 1034 01:10:13,174 --> 01:10:16,837 Oh, no. No. 1035 01:10:16,911 --> 01:10:19,402 I wanted to raise chickens once. 1036 01:10:19,480 --> 01:10:22,449 Like Old MacDonald. 1037 01:10:22,517 --> 01:10:24,610 Just didn't seem important enough. 1038 01:10:24,685 --> 01:10:26,676 No, of course not. You wanted success. 1039 01:10:26,754 --> 01:10:28,984 And you are probably now raising a mixed-up stomach. 1040 01:10:29,056 --> 01:10:31,320 I'm sure that's more important. 1041 01:10:31,392 --> 01:10:34,190 But you saved this organization, Mr. Hunter. 1042 01:10:34,262 --> 01:10:39,825 I more than appreciate it. And I know my illustrious parent must be very proud of you. 1043 01:10:39,901 --> 01:10:41,994 Thank you, Mr. La Salle. 1044 01:10:44,005 --> 01:10:48,305 Oh, Mr. Hunter. I need men like you. 1045 01:10:48,376 --> 01:10:52,779 - Please stay on. - Well, of course I'd like to very much. 1046 01:10:52,847 --> 01:10:55,782 But I don't think I'll be able to come into the office regularly for quite a while. 1047 01:10:55,850 --> 01:11:00,878 I made certain... commitments to Miss Marlowe to procure her endorsement. 1048 01:11:00,955 --> 01:11:03,219 I think it will keep me a little busy for some time. 1049 01:11:03,291 --> 01:11:07,819 So Mr. Rufus told me. I-I commend your integrity. 1050 01:11:07,895 --> 01:11:11,558 - You're a rare commodity, Mr. Hunter. - Thank you, sir. 1051 01:11:16,304 --> 01:11:18,636 Thank you very much, sir. 1052 01:11:30,381 --> 01:11:32,747 Well, talk, boy, talk. 1053 01:11:32,817 --> 01:11:36,583 - What happened with you and the big bossy, huh? - He is so nice. 1054 01:11:36,654 --> 01:11:39,885 He is so nice, Rufe. He offered me my job back. 1055 01:11:39,957 --> 01:11:43,017 He's a lot nicer than that, Rocky boy. 1056 01:11:48,132 --> 01:11:50,464 - Congratulations, Your Honor! - Oh! 1057 01:11:50,534 --> 01:11:55,164 - And when do I get my raise? - Oh, I never thought I'd live to see that! 1058 01:11:57,408 --> 01:12:00,571 - I know. Kinda gets you here, doesn't it? - It really does! 1059 01:12:00,644 --> 01:12:02,942 It just makes everything that's happened seem worthwhile. 1060 01:12:03,013 --> 01:12:07,416 Worthwhile? Take a "gandy" at this, laddie. 1061 01:12:09,253 --> 01:12:11,278 The key. 1062 01:12:11,355 --> 01:12:14,347 Your key to the executive powder room! 1063 01:12:14,425 --> 01:12:16,689 Wow! 1064 01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:18,819 You're gonna love that liquid soap. It's imported. 1065 01:12:18,896 --> 01:12:23,299 Oh, Rufe! This is a moment- 1066 01:12:23,367 --> 01:12:25,494 I'll never forget it. 1067 01:12:25,569 --> 01:12:30,165 I know. I remember when I got my first key. 1068 01:12:30,241 --> 01:12:35,372 - This means I'm- - Say it, boy. Say it. Don't be modest. 1069 01:12:35,446 --> 01:12:39,212 - I'm an executive! - You got it made! 1070 01:12:39,283 --> 01:12:42,377 And you know, it's a miracle how you overcame your education. 1071 01:12:44,555 --> 01:12:47,115 Now, take it. Take the key, Rocky. 1072 01:12:47,191 --> 01:12:51,355 - And go, boy, go! - Ooh, I wish Jenny were here to share this moment. 1073 01:12:51,428 --> 01:12:53,487 No women allowed. 1074 01:12:53,564 --> 01:12:56,795 Go, boy. Go! 1075 01:13:16,987 --> 01:13:20,821 Ohh! 1076 01:13:20,891 --> 01:13:23,382 The beauty of it all! 1077 01:13:50,521 --> 01:13:53,354 Hi, honey. How do you feel? 1078 01:14:03,767 --> 01:14:06,793 I feel just "divoon." 1079 01:14:06,870 --> 01:14:09,930 Jenny, stop that! 1080 01:14:10,007 --> 01:14:13,374 I've opened some of your fan mail, Mr. Hunter. 1081 01:14:13,444 --> 01:14:16,242 See? 1082 01:14:16,313 --> 01:14:19,908 I've separated it into the proper classifications. 1083 01:14:19,984 --> 01:14:22,418 Proposals of marriage to you from widows... 1084 01:14:22,486 --> 01:14:25,250 proposals of marriage to you from bachelor girls... 1085 01:14:25,322 --> 01:14:30,919 and proposals of marriage to you from married women. 1086 01:14:30,995 --> 01:14:35,989 I think that's all, but if you need me, just breathe hard. 1087 01:14:36,066 --> 01:14:38,796 I'll hear you. 1088 01:14:44,842 --> 01:14:47,675 - Miss Wells! - Yes? 1089 01:14:47,745 --> 01:14:49,940 Why don't you "Lover Doll" me? Go ahead. Get it over with. 1090 01:14:50,014 --> 01:14:53,347 All right, Mr. Hunter. Lover Doll, Lover Doll, Lover Doll! 1091 01:14:53,417 --> 01:14:56,477 Once was enough. Thank you. 1092 01:14:56,553 --> 01:14:58,748 That's Lover Doll? 1093 01:14:58,822 --> 01:15:01,313 That's Lover Doll. 1094 01:15:01,392 --> 01:15:03,883 He ain't no Pat Boone. 1095 01:15:06,096 --> 01:15:10,055 I'm coming unglued. I'm coming unglued! 1096 01:15:17,841 --> 01:15:21,174 Jenny? Jenny! 1097 01:15:21,245 --> 01:15:24,373 Now you listen to me! 1098 01:15:24,448 --> 01:15:27,781 I'm sorry I shouted at you. Really I am. 1099 01:15:27,851 --> 01:15:30,149 Jenny? 1100 01:15:30,220 --> 01:15:34,486 Mr. La Salle can understand that a man has to keep his promises. Why can't you? 1101 01:15:34,558 --> 01:15:37,789 There's nothing between Rita and me. Really there isn't. 1102 01:15:37,861 --> 01:15:40,193 You know, we both owe her a great deal. 1103 01:15:40,264 --> 01:15:43,495 If it wasn't for her, would I have a key to the executive washroom? 1104 01:15:43,567 --> 01:15:47,628 Would I be a Vi. P? Rita Marlowe made it possible for us. 1105 01:15:47,705 --> 01:15:50,697 Now we can afford to get married. Doesn't that mean anything to you? 1106 01:15:50,774 --> 01:15:54,733 You wanted me to be a big success. Now I'm on my way. We've got it made. 1107 01:15:54,812 --> 01:15:57,303 - Let's enjoy it the way we planned. - Poop. 1108 01:15:57,381 --> 01:16:00,475 - Jenny, if you go down that- - You're right. We're through. 1109 01:16:00,551 --> 01:16:03,884 All right. But you just remember this. And don't you ever forget it. 1110 01:16:03,954 --> 01:16:06,923 When you see me walking down the street in my elevator shoes... 1111 01:16:06,990 --> 01:16:09,584 remember, it was you that did it! 1112 01:16:54,605 --> 01:16:58,268 You blind date often, Miss Summers? 1113 01:16:58,342 --> 01:17:00,742 Only when I'm blind! 1114 01:17:00,811 --> 01:17:04,542 - I'm sorry. - I didn't mean it the way it sounded. 1115 01:17:04,615 --> 01:17:06,810 I just got the homogenized blues. 1116 01:17:06,884 --> 01:17:09,284 Darling, what's happened to you? 1117 01:17:09,353 --> 01:17:12,254 This music brings out the Belafonte in me, Miss Marlowe. 1118 01:17:12,322 --> 01:17:14,552 No, it's more than that. You're so different tonight. 1119 01:17:14,625 --> 01:17:17,423 No, I'm not. I'm the same Lover Doll I've always been, honest! 1120 01:18:04,908 --> 01:18:07,376 Just one more, Lover Doll. 1121 01:18:09,046 --> 01:18:11,742 Thanks, folks. 1122 01:18:37,875 --> 01:18:40,002 For the first time on any show... 1123 01:18:40,077 --> 01:18:42,170 right here on our stage, on our show... 1124 01:18:42,246 --> 01:18:44,578 we will show you that we've really got a big show. 1125 01:18:44,648 --> 01:18:47,742 Here he is, in person, Lover Doll Hunter. 1126 01:18:47,818 --> 01:18:50,878 Lover Doll will show all the men in our audience... 1127 01:18:50,954 --> 01:18:53,889 how to really keep their wives and sweethearts happy. 1128 01:18:53,957 --> 01:18:56,187 Show them on our show, Lover Doll. 1129 01:18:56,260 --> 01:18:58,694 - All women love to be kissed when they are wearing... 1130 01:18:58,762 --> 01:19:01,925 Stay-put Lipstick- and to kiss properly... 1131 01:19:01,999 --> 01:19:05,662 you must first pucker your lips... 1132 01:19:05,736 --> 01:19:08,261 and hold her in your arms gently... 1133 01:19:08,338 --> 01:19:11,933 - watching the position of the right hand. - Leave two quarts tomorrow. 1134 01:19:49,980 --> 01:19:52,813 Talk about sales. Would you believe it, L. D... 1135 01:19:52,883 --> 01:19:55,113 Rita's endorsement has "Stay-putties" selling four-to-one... 1136 01:19:55,185 --> 01:19:57,244 over our nearest competitor. 1137 01:19:57,321 --> 01:20:00,313 And is her spectacular going to be spectacular! We've had 18 writers on it... 1138 01:20:00,390 --> 01:20:03,826 and we're warming up a top rewrite team to rewrite the last top rewrite team. 1139 01:20:06,129 --> 01:20:09,257 And we're getting a great, big important guest star! 1140 01:20:09,333 --> 01:20:12,962 - Sounds great. - Well, you don't sound very enthusiastic. 1141 01:20:13,036 --> 01:20:17,473 - This is your baby, you know. - To tell you the truth, I'm kinda tired, Rufe. 1142 01:20:17,541 --> 01:20:20,305 - Have you seen Jenny lately? - No, I haven't seen her. 1143 01:20:20,377 --> 01:20:22,641 You're not still thinking about Jenny, are you? 1144 01:20:22,713 --> 01:20:25,614 Mm, no. Just asking. 1145 01:20:25,682 --> 01:20:29,174 Oh, no, no, no. That's not your office anymore. 1146 01:20:29,252 --> 01:20:31,447 - L.S. has a bigger office for you. - Bigger office? 1147 01:20:31,521 --> 01:20:33,785 Oh, things have been popping with Junior while you were away. 1148 01:20:33,857 --> 01:20:37,623 - How is Mr. La Salle? - Never better. All thanks to you, L.D. 1149 01:20:37,694 --> 01:20:41,289 This is Miss Carstairs. She's new here. 1150 01:20:41,365 --> 01:20:43,925 - Good morning, Mr. Hunter. - Good morning, Miss Carstairs. 1151 01:20:44,001 --> 01:20:46,526 If you want anything, just call. 1152 01:20:46,603 --> 01:20:48,696 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1153 01:20:53,276 --> 01:20:55,972 Really stacked, that Carstairs "dishy", huh? 1154 01:20:56,046 --> 01:20:59,982 - Attractive. - She's on the 80-proof side, but you're a drinking man. 1155 01:21:00,050 --> 01:21:02,644 Why, Mr. La Salle removed the portrait of his father! 1156 01:21:02,719 --> 01:21:05,313 Yep. Papa's gone. 1157 01:21:05,389 --> 01:21:10,292 And the roses, too. Gee, the office doesn't look the same without the roses. 1158 01:21:10,360 --> 01:21:14,456 Junior took them too. You'll have to choose your own posies. 1159 01:21:16,633 --> 01:21:20,399 - Choose my own what? - Posies. The kind you like. 1160 01:21:20,470 --> 01:21:23,530 Just tell the stack outside. She'll order 'em. 1161 01:21:25,709 --> 01:21:27,836 Rufe, where is Mr. La Salle? 1162 01:21:27,911 --> 01:21:30,345 Which one? Junior or Senior? 1163 01:21:30,414 --> 01:21:32,848 Well, I know where Senior is. 1164 01:21:32,916 --> 01:21:35,043 Where's Mr. La Salle, Jr? 1165 01:21:35,118 --> 01:21:37,518 Junior's bye-bye, too. 1166 01:21:37,587 --> 01:21:41,387 And I think you better give me back that key to the executive powder room. 1167 01:21:42,659 --> 01:21:44,752 You're in solitary from here on in. 1168 01:22:08,618 --> 01:22:13,385 - Hello there, Rockwell. - I'd like to have a talk with you, Mr. La Salle. 1169 01:22:13,457 --> 01:22:16,358 Oh, haven't we reached the point where we can use first names? 1170 01:22:16,426 --> 01:22:19,725 - Please call me Irving. - Irving? 1171 01:22:19,796 --> 01:22:22,697 I'd like to have a little of your time, Irving. 1172 01:22:26,103 --> 01:22:28,196 Well, there's not much to say, Rockwell. 1173 01:22:28,271 --> 01:22:31,604 After our conversation that day, I-I started thinking. 1174 01:22:31,675 --> 01:22:34,940 I hadn't done any thinking since I inherited the agency. 1175 01:22:35,011 --> 01:22:38,208 It's not the kind of business that requires thinking, so- 1176 01:22:38,281 --> 01:22:40,545 So the process was a little strange for me. 1177 01:22:40,617 --> 01:22:42,949 But I muddled it through to a logical conclusion. 1178 01:22:43,019 --> 01:22:47,149 And my problems, as Rufus would say, were "solvy solvied." 1179 01:22:47,224 --> 01:22:52,628 I was impressed with you, Rockwell. You seemed eager for what you thought was success. 1180 01:22:52,696 --> 01:22:56,655 You no longer believed in your- your chicken farm dreams. 1181 01:22:56,733 --> 01:23:00,169 You were, in a manner of speaking, a gift from the gods. 1182 01:23:00,237 --> 01:23:03,832 You were the perfect man to sit at my desk and enjoy it. 1183 01:23:03,907 --> 01:23:07,809 The kind of man my illustrious parent would have respected as a son. 1184 01:23:07,878 --> 01:23:10,813 Instead of the rose grubber he sired. 1185 01:23:10,881 --> 01:23:15,181 I'm- I'm not at all sure I'm the man to sit behind your desk. 1186 01:23:15,252 --> 01:23:18,517 I'm certain you are. Success will fit you like a shroud. 1187 01:23:24,070 --> 01:23:28,700 Now, this is an office I really enjoy working in. 1188 01:23:28,775 --> 01:23:32,176 Though I don't imagine my illustrious parent is as happy as he was. 1189 01:23:32,245 --> 01:23:34,679 Oh, you didn't mind me removing his portrait, did you? 1190 01:23:34,748 --> 01:23:39,014 - No. No, certainly not. - I'm glad. I- I wanted Daddy's picture with me. 1191 01:23:39,085 --> 01:23:43,078 You see, Rockwell, I had got used to Daddy frowning down on me... 1192 01:23:43,156 --> 01:23:45,784 all those long, long years. 1193 01:23:49,295 --> 01:23:54,289 And now the old buzzard can be as miserable in my office... 1194 01:23:54,367 --> 01:23:56,392 as he made me in his. 1195 01:23:56,469 --> 01:24:02,169 Daddy was the first Ivy Leaguer, you know? 1196 01:24:08,815 --> 01:24:11,375 - Good night, Mr. Hunter. - Good night, Ed. 1197 01:24:11,451 --> 01:24:13,476 - Good evening, Mr. Hunter. - Evening, Mr. Hunter. 1198 01:24:13,553 --> 01:24:15,544 Good evening. 1199 01:27:07,860 --> 01:27:09,953 Oh, I'm sorry. 1200 01:27:17,637 --> 01:27:20,765 Jenny! 1201 01:27:20,840 --> 01:27:24,173 I didn't know you'd be here so early in the morning. 1202 01:27:24,244 --> 01:27:28,010 Uh, I just wanted to return this. 1203 01:27:29,882 --> 01:27:33,579 I meant to give it back to you before, but- 1204 01:27:33,653 --> 01:27:36,781 Jenny? 1205 01:27:36,856 --> 01:27:39,689 I couldn't keep it lit. 1206 01:27:39,759 --> 01:27:43,251 I tried. I really tried. 1207 01:27:43,329 --> 01:27:46,821 - I'm sorry. - Uh, Jenny! 1208 01:27:49,502 --> 01:27:52,665 I know now why I couldn't keep it lit. 1209 01:27:52,739 --> 01:27:56,004 Yeah. Remember that psychiatrist I was telling you about? 1210 01:27:56,075 --> 01:27:58,839 - Yes? - Well, he was right. 1211 01:27:58,911 --> 01:28:02,108 All my life, I've fought against being a failure. 1212 01:28:02,181 --> 01:28:06,515 And I didn't have sense enough to know that I'm not a failure! 1213 01:28:06,586 --> 01:28:09,384 I'm the largest success there is. 1214 01:28:09,455 --> 01:28:14,188 I'm an average guy, and all us average guys are successes. 1215 01:28:14,260 --> 01:28:17,559 We run the works, not the big guy behind the big desk. 1216 01:28:17,630 --> 01:28:20,155 He's knocking himself out trying to figure out... 1217 01:28:20,233 --> 01:28:22,463 how to please us- please you, and me... 1218 01:28:22,535 --> 01:28:24,560 and all the other "usses" like us. 1219 01:28:24,637 --> 01:28:26,662 Who do they try to sell with advertising? 1220 01:28:26,739 --> 01:28:31,676 Nobody but us. Who gives a television series a good Trendex? We do. 1221 01:28:31,744 --> 01:28:36,374 Who elects the presidents? Nobody but us. 1222 01:28:36,449 --> 01:28:39,714 You under-You understand what I'm trying to tell you, Jenny? 1223 01:28:39,786 --> 01:28:44,723 I suppose I do. I suppose I never wanted to be anybody but me. 1224 01:28:44,791 --> 01:28:48,522 Plain Jenny Wells. I tried. 1225 01:28:48,594 --> 01:28:50,960 But those tight sweaters are too heavy. 1226 01:28:52,265 --> 01:28:55,098 "Plain Jenny Wells." 1227 01:28:57,136 --> 01:28:59,161 Plain Rockwell Hunter... 1228 01:28:59,238 --> 01:29:04,232 - just wants to go through life with you. - That's very nice to hear. 1229 01:29:04,310 --> 01:29:08,406 But what about that not-so-plain sweater girl you're marrying this afternoon? 1230 01:29:08,481 --> 01:29:12,212 Marrying? Oh, that's just some of Rita's publicity nonsense. 1231 01:29:12,285 --> 01:29:15,584 Nonsense? Louella Parsons says it's true. 1232 01:29:15,655 --> 01:29:18,283 It's the lead in her column, and Louella's never wrong. 1233 01:29:18,358 --> 01:29:21,919 - She's never wrong! - Honey, Rita doesn't love me. 1234 01:29:21,994 --> 01:29:24,258 She loves a guy named Georgie Schmidlapp. 1235 01:29:24,330 --> 01:29:28,767 She's been trying to forget him, the way I tried to forget you. 1236 01:29:28,835 --> 01:29:30,860 Only we both failed. 1237 01:29:30,937 --> 01:29:34,202 Jenny, marry me today. 1238 01:29:34,273 --> 01:29:36,969 - Louella's never wrong. - Jenny, please. 1239 01:29:37,043 --> 01:29:39,068 - Marry me today. - You'll be a bigamist. 1240 01:29:39,145 --> 01:29:41,409 Two wives in one day, you'll be arrested. 1241 01:29:41,481 --> 01:29:45,577 They'll put you in jail. But I'll come to see you every visiting day. 1242 01:29:54,394 --> 01:29:58,091 Stay-put Spectacular is on the air. 1243 01:29:58,164 --> 01:30:00,655 Brought to you in black-and-white and contemptible color- 1244 01:30:00,733 --> 01:30:02,758 uh, pardon me, compatible color- 1245 01:30:02,835 --> 01:30:05,065 - starring Rita Marlowe... 1246 01:30:05,138 --> 01:30:07,163 and a surprise guest star. 1247 01:30:10,877 --> 01:30:14,608 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 1248 01:30:14,680 --> 01:30:19,242 This is Rita Marlowe, star of stage, screen, and now live television. 1249 01:30:19,318 --> 01:30:23,345 Because this is my first live television appearance... 1250 01:30:23,423 --> 01:30:26,483 the sponsor has agreed to relinquish his commercial time. 1251 01:30:26,559 --> 01:30:29,084 There will be no mention of Stay-put Lipsticks... 1252 01:30:29,162 --> 01:30:32,154 nor Stay-put Lipstick's wonderful Stay-put Lipstick colors... 1253 01:30:32,231 --> 01:30:35,667 such as Stay-put Lipstick red, Stay-put Lipstick pink, Stay-put Lipstick flame... 1254 01:30:35,735 --> 01:30:38,033 Stay-put Lipstick crimson, Stay-put Lipstick magenta... 1255 01:30:38,104 --> 01:30:40,129 Stay-put Lipstick double red- 1256 01:30:40,206 --> 01:30:43,039 These are wonderful lipsticks I personally use... 1257 01:30:43,109 --> 01:30:48,206 for my oh-so-kissable lips... 1258 01:30:48,281 --> 01:30:50,772 that you will not be hearing about. 1259 01:30:50,850 --> 01:30:55,844 And now, for our first big surprise guest star- 1260 01:30:55,922 --> 01:31:00,222 Georgie Schmidlapp? 1261 01:31:02,094 --> 01:31:04,392 Rita, I love you. 1262 01:31:04,464 --> 01:31:07,160 Oh, and I love you, Georgie. 1263 01:31:07,233 --> 01:31:11,670 But why did you wait so long to tell me? You know, you never even tried to kiss me? 1264 01:31:11,737 --> 01:31:13,898 I never could get that close. 1265 01:31:13,973 --> 01:31:16,032 Ah, but it's wonderful to be in love. 1266 01:31:16,108 --> 01:31:20,044 And it's even more wonderful to be on a TV show without any commercials. 1267 01:31:20,112 --> 01:31:23,479 Here, hold this. Until I get back. 1268 01:31:31,791 --> 01:31:34,726 Well, Rita Marlowe and her true love Georgie Schmidlapp... 1269 01:31:34,794 --> 01:31:36,760 are successful now- You Bet Your Life! 1270 01:31:36,795 --> 01:31:38,726 are successful now- You Bet Your Life! 1271 01:31:38,798 --> 01:31:41,198 And another big success is this family- 1272 01:31:41,267 --> 01:31:44,964 They made the grade: Grade-A, Extra Large. 1273 01:31:47,473 --> 01:31:52,342 They really have it made. As long as the price of eggs stays up. 1274 01:31:52,411 --> 01:31:55,005 This fellow is a big "successy" as the big bossy... 1275 01:31:55,081 --> 01:31:57,675 even though his new secretary put him on a milk diet... 1276 01:31:57,750 --> 01:32:02,585 his scotch, bourbon, gin and Manischewitz-flavored lipsticks are a big hit. 1277 01:32:02,655 --> 01:32:07,786 And this horticulturalist developed a new, fast-growing rose. 1278 01:32:07,860 --> 01:32:11,557 I was awarded the first prize. 1279 01:32:11,631 --> 01:32:14,065 Yes, it's- It's called... 1280 01:32:14,133 --> 01:32:17,864 the Irving Rose. 1281 01:32:17,937 --> 01:32:22,374 We've learned that success is just the art of being happy. 1282 01:32:22,441 --> 01:32:26,434 And being happy is- Well, being happy is... 1283 01:32:26,512 --> 01:32:29,106 just the very, living end! 110875

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