Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:10,110
I tell you, Douglas,
that bank is stealing my money.
2
00:00:10,325 --> 00:00:13,606
For the last time, it's a
service charge. Get in the car.
3
00:00:14,075 --> 00:00:16,029
Thieves!
4
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:18,357
It's a dollar. Let it go.
5
00:00:21,574 --> 00:00:23,534
- Can you give me a second, please?
- It's locked.
6
00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:25,861
- I know, you gotta wait one sec, okay?
- Try it now?
7
00:00:26,073 --> 00:00:27,482
- No, not yet. Every time...
- Now?
8
00:00:27,698 --> 00:00:30,898
- No, not yet. When you keep doing...
- Now? Now? Now?
9
00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:33,152
All right, you know what?
Step away from the car.
10
00:00:33,406 --> 00:00:36,190
Sit down on the curb,
I'll come around and let you in.
11
00:00:56,612 --> 00:00:58,022
Hey, honey. Come here.
12
00:00:58,279 --> 00:01:00,068
What? What now?
13
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:02,773
I got my boxes out of storage today.
Look at all this.
14
00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:07,769
Your mother's old things, ukulele,
Communist Party literature...
15
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,440
Oh, and here we go.
16
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:13,106
I think you know what these are.
17
00:01:13,902 --> 00:01:15,728
Your photo albums.
18
00:01:15,986 --> 00:01:17,360
I've seen those.
19
00:01:17,569 --> 00:01:19,227
...a lot.
20
00:01:20,194 --> 00:01:22,479
Come on. It's gonna happen.
21
00:01:22,694 --> 00:01:24,648
Don't fight it.
22
00:01:28,693 --> 00:01:30,399
Honey?
23
00:01:30,817 --> 00:01:31,848
We're out of jerky.
24
00:01:32,109 --> 00:01:33,767
Oh, you're right. I am so sorry.
25
00:01:33,984 --> 00:01:37,728
Why don't you come
have a seat right there...
26
00:01:37,942 --> 00:01:40,146
Sit right there, and I'm gonna go...
27
00:01:40,942 --> 00:01:42,849
...do something else.
28
00:01:50,274 --> 00:01:51,601
Honey?
29
00:01:52,649 --> 00:01:54,805
Here's another beaut.
30
00:01:55,565 --> 00:01:59,855
Ocean City, 1958.
That's me in the pompadour.
31
00:02:00,398 --> 00:02:02,270
There we are
in Hershey, Pennsylvania,
32
00:02:02,482 --> 00:02:04,518
getting the chocolate tour.
33
00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:08,305
And there's what a flesh-eating bacteria
can do to the human hand.
34
00:02:10,147 --> 00:02:12,896
There's the lake at Camp Wigwam.
35
00:02:13,105 --> 00:02:15,061
And there's me in the trenches
with Mickey Dugan,
36
00:02:15,272 --> 00:02:16,978
right after his leg got blown off.
37
00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:20,688
Wow, maybe you should think about
organizing these a little, huh?
38
00:02:20,897 --> 00:02:21,975
What do you mean?
39
00:02:22,188 --> 00:02:23,977
I don't know.
Maybe get two books, you know?
40
00:02:24,188 --> 00:02:28,644
One for family stuff
and one for bloody carnage.
41
00:02:28,979 --> 00:02:31,515
Look at that. Little Carrie.
42
00:02:31,771 --> 00:02:34,342
- Look at her, what is she, about 10?
- Yeah.
43
00:02:34,562 --> 00:02:37,098
Oh, look at her here.
She's just a little baby in the bathtub.
44
00:02:37,312 --> 00:02:40,061
Look at that tushy,
I could just bite it.
45
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,558
- That's me.
- Damn it, Arthur!
46
00:02:44,769 --> 00:02:47,436
Organise these, would you?
47
00:02:52,894 --> 00:02:54,635
Hey, who's that?
48
00:02:55,311 --> 00:02:58,225
That's my first wife, Sophia.
Carrie's mom.
49
00:02:58,435 --> 00:03:00,141
- It is?
- Yeah.
50
00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:03,764
That's up in the Catskills,
about a year before she passed.
51
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,215
Wow, I didn't realise she was so...
52
00:03:06,476 --> 00:03:07,754
Fat?
53
00:03:08,642 --> 00:03:10,016
Oh, yeah. Big girl.
54
00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:12,388
But I've seen other pictures of her.
She wasn't so...
55
00:03:12,642 --> 00:03:13,969
Fat?
56
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,968
Yeah, she was slim like Carrie
when I first met her,
57
00:03:18,183 --> 00:03:20,008
but eventually she just got,
you know.
58
00:03:20,224 --> 00:03:22,677
- Fat?
- Hey, you're talking about my wife!
59
00:03:24,975 --> 00:03:26,550
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
60
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,217
Don't worry about it.
61
00:03:29,432 --> 00:03:32,134
Actually, I didn't mind a bit.
62
00:03:32,349 --> 00:03:35,051
Just so much more to love.
63
00:03:35,307 --> 00:03:37,593
Then you must have adored her.
64
00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:41,220
You know, it's funny.
65
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:44,215
All the women in that family
start out thin,
66
00:03:44,431 --> 00:03:46,800
and then just blow up.
67
00:03:47,722 --> 00:03:49,464
Must be the genes.
68
00:03:57,596 --> 00:04:00,263
Honey, funny thing
at the office today.
69
00:04:00,429 --> 00:04:02,669
Somebody shoves a birthday card
in front of me
70
00:04:02,888 --> 00:04:04,848
and says, "We're all signing it,
it's for Chris."
71
00:04:05,054 --> 00:04:07,424
I'm thinking it's Chris,
the kid who runs the copy machine,
72
00:04:07,637 --> 00:04:12,009
so I write, "Happy birthday to the
sexiest thing in the office", right?
73
00:04:12,303 --> 00:04:14,459
Turns out,
74
00:04:14,678 --> 00:04:19,216
that it's for Christine,
the senior partner.
75
00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:23,589
So either I'm fired
or I got a new girlfriend.
76
00:04:25,885 --> 00:04:27,129
Honey, what's the matter?
77
00:04:27,927 --> 00:04:29,420
Nothing.
78
00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:32,089
Well, you had a weird look
on your face.
79
00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:36,384
No, I was just thinking
how beautiful you are,
80
00:04:36,593 --> 00:04:41,001
and how happy I am with the life
that we built together.
81
00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:44,876
Whatever.
82
00:04:52,508 --> 00:04:54,166
Hey, what are you doing?
83
00:04:54,383 --> 00:04:56,539
I thought I'd pick you up,
carry you over to the bed.
84
00:04:56,758 --> 00:04:58,499
It's romantic.
85
00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:00,423
Okay.
86
00:05:11,548 --> 00:05:13,538
Hey, you.
87
00:05:14,673 --> 00:05:15,787
It's romantic, huh?
88
00:05:16,464 --> 00:05:18,372
Not yet.
89
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,498
All right.
90
00:05:22,714 --> 00:05:24,621
There you go.
91
00:05:24,963 --> 00:05:26,586
Hey, that was great.
92
00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:28,959
I'm gonna go watch the news, okay?
93
00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:37,334
Did you see what they did
to the snack machine?
94
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,245
You know G-11, the big cookie?
95
00:05:39,504 --> 00:05:42,667
Now it's raisins, the yellow ones.
What the hell is that about?
96
00:05:43,253 --> 00:05:46,085
Hey, Deac, let me ask you.
Do you think Carrie's gained weight?
97
00:05:46,336 --> 00:05:47,367
What?
98
00:05:47,628 --> 00:05:49,588
Carrie, my wife.
Do you think she's gained weight?
99
00:05:49,795 --> 00:05:50,956
Couple pounds maybe?
100
00:05:51,211 --> 00:05:54,658
I don't know. Every time I see her,
she's blocked by you.
101
00:05:57,502 --> 00:05:59,292
I know I'm fat, all right?
That's a given.
102
00:05:59,544 --> 00:06:02,495
Oh, good, because I didn't wanna
have to break that to you, you know?
103
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:05,199
Yeah, but you know what,
I'm not gaining, okay? I've plateaued.
104
00:06:05,418 --> 00:06:07,623
Everything now is just maintenance.
105
00:06:07,877 --> 00:06:11,542
Even if she has gained some weight,
there's nothing you can do about it.
106
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,450
Sure there is.
I can talk to her about it.
107
00:06:13,668 --> 00:06:15,160
Actually, I'm gonna.
108
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,872
Let me ask you a question.
109
00:06:19,084 --> 00:06:22,614
Would you say, basically,
your life is good right now?
110
00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:25,500
- Yeah.
- Good wife, good job, the whole thing?
111
00:06:26,208 --> 00:06:29,123
- Yeah.
- Don't pick at it.
112
00:06:30,083 --> 00:06:31,872
Carrie and I have
a very open relationship.
113
00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:34,322
We talk about things.
I think I can bring it up.
114
00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,952
Oh, really?
Well, let me tell you a little story.
115
00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:39,868
Last summer, I noticed
that Kelly had put on about 15 pounds,
116
00:06:40,082 --> 00:06:44,538
so I figured, like you,
that I'd bring it up, all casual,
117
00:06:44,748 --> 00:06:47,118
like really supportive and everything.
118
00:06:49,372 --> 00:06:53,069
It's been seven months, okay,
and my life still isn't back to normal.
119
00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:55,860
She was so mad at me
that she kept the 15 pounds,
120
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,493
and gained another 10,
just as spite-weight.
121
00:06:59,747 --> 00:07:02,200
You know what? I think Carrie
can take constructive criticism
122
00:07:02,414 --> 00:07:03,989
a little bit better than Kelly.
123
00:07:04,246 --> 00:07:07,908
Okay, fine. Then go with God.
124
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:45,199
What happened to my coffee cake?
125
00:07:45,534 --> 00:07:46,943
What?
126
00:07:48,159 --> 00:07:49,568
You ate my cake?
127
00:07:49,825 --> 00:07:51,733
Was that yours?
128
00:07:52,159 --> 00:07:55,690
Well, I put it on my plate.
I didn't think I had to label it.
129
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:58,406
Whatever, I'll just have
a doughnut or something.
130
00:07:58,617 --> 00:07:59,731
Hey, you know what?
131
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,862
Don't scream. What?
132
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,439
I was just thinking.
You know what? You're right.
133
00:08:05,658 --> 00:08:07,731
I shouldn't have eaten
that coffee cake, you know?
134
00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:11,487
I'm so fat, you know?
135
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:13,606
I just really need
to lose some weight.
136
00:08:15,031 --> 00:08:16,831
You know what?
We should go on a diet together
137
00:08:17,032 --> 00:08:18,690
so I could take some of this off.
138
00:08:20,323 --> 00:08:21,437
We?
139
00:08:21,948 --> 00:08:24,483
Yeah, you know,
I feel bloated, you know?
140
00:08:24,697 --> 00:08:29,651
Very disgusting right now,
and I just really feel,
141
00:08:29,906 --> 00:08:31,980
if we went on a diet, that...
142
00:08:33,489 --> 00:08:34,768
...it'd really do the trick.
143
00:08:35,405 --> 00:08:37,610
And is there a reason
you keep saying "we"?
144
00:08:37,863 --> 00:08:40,530
Yeah, it's just like:
145
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,644
"We're on a diet!"
146
00:08:44,905 --> 00:08:46,941
What do you think, I'm an idiot?
147
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,443
If you want me to lose weight,
why don't you just come out and say it?
148
00:08:52,528 --> 00:08:55,526
Okay, look, I know it's ridiculous
for me to be bringing this up.
149
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:59,102
I mean, look at me, I look like
I'm in my 12th trimester here.
150
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,773
Maybe it is possible
that over the last couple of years,
151
00:09:02,986 --> 00:09:07,892
you have gained
a few tiny, tiny pounds.
152
00:09:09,402 --> 00:09:13,858
It is so not a big deal, Carrie.
I mean, Deacon's wife...
153
00:09:14,069 --> 00:09:18,276
He said she gained, like, 15 pounds.
So, by comparison, this is nothing.
154
00:09:18,818 --> 00:09:20,145
You talked to Deacon about this?
155
00:09:20,401 --> 00:09:22,771
No, I would never do that. No.
156
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,316
Honey, I shouldn't have ever
brought this up, I'm sorry.
157
00:09:30,192 --> 00:09:34,020
It's... You're right, I...
158
00:09:34,358 --> 00:09:37,604
Maybe I have put on a few pounds,
but I will take it off.
159
00:09:37,983 --> 00:09:40,222
- Only if you're okay with it.
- I said I would, I will.
160
00:09:40,441 --> 00:09:42,597
- Okay.
- Okay.
161
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,482
- Well, great.
- Great.
162
00:09:46,065 --> 00:09:48,554
Hey, baby, who's my best girl, huh?
163
00:09:51,065 --> 00:09:53,055
You are.
164
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:21,894
Hey, what do you got there?
165
00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:23,976
Three ounces of poached haddock.
166
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,810
Nice.
167
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:28,094
We're dining in style tonight, huh?
168
00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:32,762
Greetings, one and all.
Sorry I'm late,
169
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:38,684
but I was going through those boxes
and found my old little black book.
170
00:10:40,352 --> 00:10:42,841
Sit down, Dad. Dinner's ready.
171
00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:45,092
Lenore Bickle.
172
00:10:45,685 --> 00:10:48,139
I should give
that little hottie a call.
173
00:10:49,852 --> 00:10:54,260
I wonder if she's still
at Klondike 50197.
174
00:10:54,518 --> 00:10:58,346
Maybe after dinner you can ask Myrtle
to patch you through.
175
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,261
Dinner Italiano.
176
00:11:03,476 --> 00:11:05,134
Aren't you having anything,
sweetheart?
177
00:11:05,392 --> 00:11:07,133
No. I'm on a diet.
178
00:11:08,558 --> 00:11:11,639
You kids with your dieting
and your health.
179
00:11:11,849 --> 00:11:15,889
In my day, we dropped dead
of a massive coronary in our mid-50s
180
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,675
and we liked it.
181
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,304
It's fine, Dad.
I wanted to lose weight.
182
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:27,797
Honey, could you pass the
I Can't Believe It's Not Salad Dressing?
183
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,881
Thank you.
184
00:11:36,722 --> 00:11:39,045
All right, this is stupid.
You don't need to lose weight.
185
00:11:39,264 --> 00:11:41,717
- You're fine the way you are.
- No, no, no, I'm doing this.
186
00:11:41,930 --> 00:11:43,719
Here, let me give you
some spaghetti.
187
00:11:43,930 --> 00:11:46,465
No, Doug, please.
Would you just leave me alone?
188
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,428
All right, if you're going on a diet,
then I'm going on a diet.
189
00:11:49,637 --> 00:11:53,548
Hey, stop with the diet talk!
It's crazy.
190
00:11:54,596 --> 00:11:57,463
Actually, you could
lose a few pounds.
191
00:11:58,095 --> 00:12:00,465
Well, I intend to, okay?
I'll tell you that right now.
192
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,842
I'm gonna fix myself
a nice plate right here.
193
00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:06,339
Good hunk of haddock,
194
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,006
some veggies,
195
00:12:09,219 --> 00:12:12,798
and I am golden.
196
00:12:29,676 --> 00:12:31,216
Honey, was that enough for you?
197
00:12:31,675 --> 00:12:33,548
Oh, yeah. Plenty.
198
00:12:33,759 --> 00:12:35,963
Couldn't eat another drop.
199
00:12:37,175 --> 00:12:39,213
Sweet broccoli.
200
00:12:53,216 --> 00:12:56,415
Honey, I gotta tell you,
I am loving this celery.
201
00:12:56,965 --> 00:12:59,370
And unlike a chilli dog,
no mess in the bed.
202
00:13:01,424 --> 00:13:02,418
Flannels?
203
00:13:02,631 --> 00:13:05,202
What happened to that cute number
you were wearing last night?
204
00:13:07,589 --> 00:13:09,165
What are those on your PJs?
205
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,587
Ducks.
206
00:13:14,297 --> 00:13:18,076
You know, I've always been
a little attracted to ducks.
207
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,711
Webbed feet, feathers.
208
00:13:22,046 --> 00:13:24,286
Flying in a V.
209
00:13:29,838 --> 00:13:31,662
What's the matter?
210
00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:35,742
I guess I'm a little tired
from being so fat.
211
00:13:36,587 --> 00:13:39,371
Come on, Carrie.
I should have never brought this up.
212
00:13:39,628 --> 00:13:41,418
That stupid picture.
213
00:13:41,669 --> 00:13:43,079
What picture?
214
00:13:43,336 --> 00:13:44,896
When your Dad
was showing me the albums,
215
00:13:45,086 --> 00:13:47,041
there was this picture
of your mother, and I--
216
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,782
Oh, I get it, so because my mom
gained a lot of weight,
217
00:13:50,002 --> 00:13:51,542
you're afraid I'm going to?
218
00:13:52,252 --> 00:13:54,954
No, not afraid.
219
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:57,870
Just mildly aware.
220
00:13:58,751 --> 00:13:59,911
Come on, I really wanna know.
221
00:14:00,126 --> 00:14:03,622
How would you feel
if I did end up looking like my mother?
222
00:14:03,834 --> 00:14:06,240
I'd be fine with it.
223
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:13,613
Doug, I could see your reflection
in the window.
224
00:14:39,372 --> 00:14:41,529
- What did you do? What did you do?
- What?
225
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,071
You told Carrie what I said
about my wife being overweight?
226
00:14:44,331 --> 00:14:46,866
What? I don't- I think you're wrong.
227
00:14:47,122 --> 00:14:48,864
I'm not wrong. They talk.
228
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,988
Damn it,
what are you doing to me, huh?
229
00:14:51,996 --> 00:14:54,153
I thought I'd make Carrie feel better.
I didn't think--
230
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:57,701
That's right, you didn't think.
Seven months of work, undone.
231
00:14:57,913 --> 00:15:00,033
I came home last night
and Kelly was weeping
232
00:15:00,246 --> 00:15:03,196
and giving me the finger
at the same time.
233
00:15:03,871 --> 00:15:06,110
Never seen that before.
234
00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:09,077
If it's any consolation to you,
my life is hell too.
235
00:15:09,329 --> 00:15:11,900
- That does make me feel better.
- Now I'm on a diet.
236
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,033
Carrie won't sleep with me.
237
00:15:14,245 --> 00:15:16,366
No sex. No food.
238
00:15:16,578 --> 00:15:19,990
If the cable goes out,
I'm gonna have to kill myself.
239
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:23,119
Didn't I warn you
not to pick at your life?
240
00:15:23,286 --> 00:15:24,372
Hey, what's on that?
241
00:15:24,398 --> 00:15:26,841
But you couldn't
listen, could you? No.
242
00:15:27,035 --> 00:15:30,032
"We talk. We communicate."
243
00:15:30,244 --> 00:15:32,317
Look at you now.
244
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,729
- Hey, Dad.
- Hello, darling. Where were you?
245
00:15:52,992 --> 00:15:53,987
At the gym.
246
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,355
Nothing like jumping jacks
and the old vibrating belt
247
00:15:56,574 --> 00:15:58,648
to get you in the pink, huh?
248
00:15:59,783 --> 00:16:01,903
- Right.
- Look what I found in here.
249
00:16:02,115 --> 00:16:04,023
Some pictures from your wedding.
250
00:16:04,365 --> 00:16:05,444
What year was that?
251
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:07,942
Ninety-five.
252
00:16:09,615 --> 00:16:12,317
That was a simpler time, wasn't it?
253
00:16:13,532 --> 00:16:16,529
Oh, look at me in my wedding dress.
254
00:16:16,739 --> 00:16:19,690
- I looked good, didn't I?
- Breathtaking.
255
00:16:19,906 --> 00:16:22,903
Well, those days are gone.
256
00:16:24,947 --> 00:16:26,440
What are you talking about?
257
00:16:26,655 --> 00:16:28,811
Now I'm just getting older
and gaining weight,
258
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:34,019
and before I know it, I'm just gonna be
big and fat and not attractive anymore.
259
00:16:35,029 --> 00:16:36,024
You're crazy.
260
00:16:36,238 --> 00:16:38,358
And even if you do gain
a little weight, believe me...
261
00:16:39,321 --> 00:16:41,524
- ...men like that.
- No, they don't.
262
00:16:41,737 --> 00:16:45,067
Oh, no? Look at this.
263
00:16:45,653 --> 00:16:47,609
Look at the women in here.
264
00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:50,060
Full-figured and voluptuous.
265
00:16:50,278 --> 00:16:52,233
This is a men's magazine.
266
00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:54,980
This is what men like.
267
00:16:57,194 --> 00:17:00,890
"Va-Voom. April, 1951."
268
00:17:06,027 --> 00:17:08,859
Okay, so what was
the big emergency?
269
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:10,306
Okay.
270
00:17:10,526 --> 00:17:12,232
Here's the thing.
271
00:17:12,984 --> 00:17:15,307
What would make you feel better
if someone told you
272
00:17:15,526 --> 00:17:17,433
you'd gained a couple pounds?
273
00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:19,806
Oh, my God.
274
00:17:20,025 --> 00:17:22,514
You called me all the way down here
just to tell me I look fat?
275
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,896
What, in a crowded bar,
to keep me from making a scene?
276
00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:28,354
Will you relax?
I'm talking about your sister.
277
00:17:28,691 --> 00:17:30,765
Oh, thank God.
278
00:17:31,025 --> 00:17:33,310
I made a stupid comment
about her weight,
279
00:17:33,525 --> 00:17:36,439
and I think I might have upset her
a little bit.
280
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:39,933
Seriously though, do I look chubby?
281
00:17:40,398 --> 00:17:41,428
No!
282
00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:43,846
Okay, look, Doug,
saying that you've gained weight
283
00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:45,889
is the worst thing
you could say to a woman.
284
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:47,606
It's like, you know,
285
00:17:47,856 --> 00:17:51,517
what if Carrie told you that sometimes
you didn't satisfy her sexually?
286
00:17:52,148 --> 00:17:53,972
Did she say that?
287
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:55,600
No.
288
00:17:56,397 --> 00:17:57,559
Why did you pause?
289
00:17:58,272 --> 00:18:00,725
- Did I pause?
- Yes, there was a long pause.
290
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:04,606
Sara, tell me, did she say that?
What did she say?
291
00:18:04,855 --> 00:18:07,308
Okay, she didn't say that, no.
292
00:18:08,646 --> 00:18:10,056
But something like that?
293
00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:14,768
- No, not really.
- Another pause. Stop pausing!
294
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:18,552
Look, I'm just thinking
about how fat I am, okay?
295
00:18:18,812 --> 00:18:21,383
- I feel like I've been shot.
- Yeah, well, good luck with that.
296
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,184
Honey?
297
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:39,595
Lordy, Lordy, Lord.
298
00:18:40,726 --> 00:18:43,215
- Hello.
- What are you doing?
299
00:18:43,476 --> 00:18:47,422
I just ate an entire yule log
I was saving for Christmas.
300
00:18:48,351 --> 00:18:53,008
Now I'm even fatter,
and we have no holiday dessert.
301
00:18:54,184 --> 00:18:56,008
Oh, honey.
302
00:18:56,225 --> 00:18:58,263
You got out your wedding dress.
303
00:18:58,517 --> 00:19:01,183
You were right.
I couldn't even zip it up.
304
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,797
I'm just a big, fat fatty.
305
00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:09,390
You just can't reach the zipper.
Here, let me.
306
00:19:12,390 --> 00:19:14,595
Okay, inhale a little.
307
00:19:15,473 --> 00:19:17,713
Little more.
308
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:19,753
There you go.
309
00:19:21,181 --> 00:19:22,460
I'm dizzy.
310
00:19:25,389 --> 00:19:27,712
You know what?
311
00:19:27,931 --> 00:19:31,462
So what? You know, who cares?
You still look great.
312
00:19:31,681 --> 00:19:33,339
No, I don't.
313
00:19:33,597 --> 00:19:36,002
Doug, the day I wore this dress
three years ago,
314
00:19:36,222 --> 00:19:37,880
that's the best I'm ever gonna look.
315
00:19:38,096 --> 00:19:39,340
It's all downhill from here.
316
00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:40,914
- It is not downhill.
- Yes, it is.
317
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,616
- No, it's not.
- Yes, yes, yes, it is.
318
00:19:42,805 --> 00:19:45,008
Look. Look. Look.
This is my mother's dress.
319
00:19:45,220 --> 00:19:48,882
One day, I'm gonna fill out
this entire thing.
320
00:19:49,137 --> 00:19:51,175
- You know what? Give me the dress.
- What?
321
00:19:51,429 --> 00:19:53,218
Give me the dress.
322
00:19:53,761 --> 00:19:57,127
- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna put on your mother's dress.
323
00:19:57,386 --> 00:19:58,665
- Why?
- Why?
324
00:19:58,928 --> 00:20:00,488
Because it will be
way too small for me.
325
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,882
Which means that even if you do
get to be as big as her,
326
00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:04,256
I'll still be bigger.
327
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:08,960
Which means you'll always,
always be my skinny wife.
328
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,921
It fits.
329
00:20:17,802 --> 00:20:20,669
Actually,
it needs to be taken in a little.
330
00:20:24,051 --> 00:20:25,792
Carrie, just...
331
00:20:26,008 --> 00:20:28,165
I'm begging you to let go of this.
332
00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:31,204
I want you to stop feeling bad.
333
00:20:31,425 --> 00:20:33,132
I want us to laugh.
334
00:20:33,342 --> 00:20:36,008
I want us to have sex.
335
00:20:36,716 --> 00:20:40,164
For the sweet love of God,
I want a sandwich.
336
00:20:43,174 --> 00:20:44,667
Listen to me.
337
00:20:44,882 --> 00:20:49,338
I think you're beautiful.
You'll always, always be beautiful.
338
00:20:49,590 --> 00:20:51,415
- Yeah, right.
- Yes.
339
00:20:51,674 --> 00:20:53,332
Right.
340
00:20:53,798 --> 00:20:56,002
But what if I do get fat?
341
00:20:56,215 --> 00:21:00,043
Just come in under a metric ton.
342
00:21:00,839 --> 00:21:03,505
- Or sag?
- Hey, sagging is great.
343
00:21:03,755 --> 00:21:07,130
What if I get stretch marks
and retain water?
344
00:21:07,167 --> 00:21:08,292
I love water.
345
00:21:13,546 --> 00:21:14,825
Look at you in this thing.
346
00:21:15,046 --> 00:21:17,369
- You're liking this, aren't you?
- Yeah.
347
00:21:17,962 --> 00:21:19,420
- You know what's scaring me?
- What?
348
00:21:19,629 --> 00:21:20,791
Something feels right.
349
00:21:27,462 --> 00:21:30,246
Douglas, a little advice:
350
00:21:30,461 --> 00:21:32,582
Wear a slip with that.
351
00:21:41,585 --> 00:21:43,042
What a night, huh?
352
00:21:43,253 --> 00:21:45,124
Some Chinese food,
353
00:21:45,335 --> 00:21:47,540
followed by some good deli,
354
00:21:47,752 --> 00:21:51,412
followed by some good loving
with the most beautiful girl I know.
355
00:21:51,626 --> 00:21:55,039
Oh, honey, that's sweet.
356
00:21:56,584 --> 00:21:58,041
So the loving part...
357
00:21:58,251 --> 00:22:01,747
Was my performance
to my lady's liking?
358
00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:04,790
Yeah.
359
00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:08,532
What was that pause?
26827
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.