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1
00:02:00,019 --> 00:02:02,588
Ah, the last day of the school year
2
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:08,260
Today is the day we seniors celebrate
graduation and move on with our lives
3
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:15,132
It's also the day the entire campus takes part
in the annual 24 hour party starting at 6 AM
4
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,336
I love it here at college
5
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:19,538
That's me and my twin brother Evan
6
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:24,209
Evan and I are part of a fraternity and
not just any fraternity - Iota Gamma Chi
7
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:28,043
By far the wildest fraternity on campus
8
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:32,151
We're celebrating the last day
in true academic form
9
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,220
Starting off with a traditional
6 AM pajama party
10
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,189
Then a pig roast in the afternoon
11
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:40,989
If we aren't passed out yet
we'll go take a couple final exams
12
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:46,123
Tonight we'll activate the pledges
and throw one last kick ass party
13
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,996
Sounds great huh
14
00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:52,103
My brother and I
are so fucking depressed
15
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,573
We've been dreading this day for 4 years
16
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:56,939
We don't want to graduate
17
00:02:57,076 --> 00:03:01,774
This is officially the worst day
of our entire lives
18
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:24,496
Where the fuck is Jake and Evan
19
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:25,664
I think they're sleeping
20
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:29,828
Sleeping? It's 6 AM, time to party
21
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,704
Yeah! Let's go get 'em
22
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:35,040
Wake up bitches
23
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:37,242
Get drunk, let's get drunk
24
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:39,111
Wake up bitches
25
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,012
Whoo, yeah, party
26
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:46,051
Hey, you guys this is the
final day of the college year
27
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:48,353
Also known as the
last day of college partying
28
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:52,524
Make the most of it; honestly this time next year
you're going to wish you were back in college
29
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:55,494
Party, yeah
The girls are here
30
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,729
No kidding, where the hell have you been
31
00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,131
I just woke up
32
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,633
Scooter, you might
make it to first base today
33
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,336
That's very funny Keggar, you know,
just kick me while I'm down.
34
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:05,470
Today is your day Scooter
35
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,906
I need to get laid;
I have never gotten laid
36
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:09,975
I know
37
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,001
Come get some; let's get drunk
38
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:16,581
Hey honestly, this is your last day of
college partying for the rest of your lives.
39
00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:18,549
Make the most of it
40
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:29,117
Hello, hey dad.
41
00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:30,262
What
42
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:34,062
No, some of the guys downstairs
are just playing some music
43
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,058
Drinking
44
00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:43,470
No, it's only 6 AM dad
45
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:50,976
Yeah, you know I just don't know if Evan
and I want to go into the banking business
46
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:52,551
Yes Sir
47
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,485
No, sir
48
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,886
O.K., we'll see you and
Mom early tomorrow then
49
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,454
Alright, sir
50
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:34,048
Jake, Evan, want some beerios
51
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,160
I'll take some beerios
Alright
52
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:38,597
No, no, no beerios; come dance with us
53
00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:42,067
Hey Brandon, you
got some beers for us man
54
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:45,435
Nope, but I got some
shots for ya' you fucking pussies
55
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:49,307
Yeah, O.K., they're coming
to dance with us anyway
56
00:06:49,308 --> 00:06:50,242
I'm not dancing
57
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,410
No, no we don't wanna dance
58
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,071
No dancing
59
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,213
Hey girls, you want to
60
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:57,944
Oh my God, O.K., O.K., O.K.
61
00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:03,078
Ready, 1, 2, 3
62
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:06,558
Maybe we could dance a little bit
63
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,393
Dancing is my favorite pastime
64
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:09,758
I love dancing
65
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:16,668
Hey, this is awkward,
but I'm just going to say it
66
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:22,140
My friend told me that you think I'm cute and
I think you are, like, the hottest guy on campus
67
00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:24,443
I've had a crush on you, like, all year
68
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:32,284
Really, Oh my God, I, I've been trying to ask
you out all year, but I couldn't figure out how
69
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,353
You're really hot
70
00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:41,019
Um, I'm not talking to you;
I'm on the phone
71
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:45,757
Oh my God, this really
creepy guy just tried...
72
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,798
Man, this is bull
73
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:56,374
This is bullshit, 6 freaking AM and I'm
running around like a jerk serving drinks
74
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:57,409
You know what, I'm out of here
75
00:07:57,410 --> 00:08:00,245
Hold on, hold on, this is the last day
76
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,646
You're not quitting now
77
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,281
Alright man, Alright
78
00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:06,080
I don't know why I'm doing this though
I mean do you
79
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:08,019
I don't know Respect, Brotherhood
80
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:12,224
My dad was a Gamma Chi, so if Iwant him to
pay for my schooling I have to become one
81
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,716
You really believe all that shit
82
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,030
You really believe all that shit John
83
00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:20,198
About brotherhood and all that
84
00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:21,166
Yes I do
85
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,795
These guys are great guys
86
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:28,630
We just need to get
through pledging, you'll see
87
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:30,609
That's not why I'm here
88
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,077
So why the hell are you here
89
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:33,445
What, are you serious
90
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,447
Pussy man, pussy
91
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:39,651
Shoot, this frat gets laid
more than any other frat on campus
92
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,019
And you know what I'm talking about
93
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,782
Yeah that's right
94
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,654
Hey, Hey, check out
my boy Adam over there
95
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,451
And you know what I'm talking about
96
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,631
Ah, here you go Jeff
97
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:53,962
Thank you sir
98
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,924
Yeah
You good
99
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:05,343
Do you want to go up to my room
100
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,445
I don't know, what for
101
00:09:07,446 --> 00:09:08,980
So I can show you my baseball bat
102
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,550
Ah, is it a Louisville Slugger
103
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,518
Nope, it's a Hong Kong Slugger
104
00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:15,487
It's a much bigger city
105
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:18,657
Well, do you have any condoms
106
00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:19,524
Oh yeah
107
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:21,617
Alright, let's go
108
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,266
Um, hi
109
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,335
I live here
110
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:32,170
So,
111
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:35,373
Ah, you want to see my room
112
00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:37,409
What for
113
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,312
Well, I, I, I, want
to show you my bowling ball
114
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,280
Oh, how many balls do you have
115
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:43,982
Just the one
116
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:46,084
What's up Stephanie
117
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:49,850
Oh, just talking to the Uni-baller here
118
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,926
Let's go
Anytime you're ready old man
119
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,166
Keggar my friend
120
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,601
You do not deserve to be called Keggar
121
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:06,731
Compared to me you're just little old Jason
who can't drink with the big boys
122
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,608
This isn't 1999 anymore
123
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,043
I'm the fastest in the frat now
124
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:14,713
Fossil, I need your help
125
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:17,682
Ah, I'm a little busy right now
When then
126
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:20,318
Ah, O.K., real quick
what can I help you with
127
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:22,020
Can we please do this
128
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:24,546
Pa Pa Patience boy
129
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,459
Continue
I don't want to say
130
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,227
Well then you don't get any help
131
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,753
Today
132
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,689
Look, I can't get laid
133
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,103
Just forget it
134
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:41,072
No, no, you know who has
2 thumbs that can help you get laid
135
00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:42,507
This guy
136
00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:45,677
So, hey, swing by my room a
little bit later and I'll help you out
137
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,078
Alright when
138
00:10:47,079 --> 00:10:48,113
Whenever, later
139
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:52,117
Sure, ah I'm picking up
a 90 pound pig at 10:00
140
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:53,318
Why don't you come by at 11?
141
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,419
11, alright thanks
142
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,587
No problem
143
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,689
Can we please do this old dude
144
00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:01,926
Son, I'm going to teach you a
lesson in respecting your elders
145
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:06,022
Elders, more like
social security recipient
146
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:10,633
Now if you don't mind my
lady, you can count us down
147
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:13,571
Ready, set, drink
148
00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:16,597
Go, Go, Go
149
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:19,509
Done
150
00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:33,391
No, we can't your roommate will hear
151
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:36,452
So what, I'm going to tell him anyway
152
00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:39,023
It wasn't enough time
153
00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:40,425
What
154
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,693
4 years
155
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,562
4 years of college
and that's all you get
156
00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:48,600
You think it's going to
last forever, but it's not
157
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:53,538
Between today and the day we die
we never get to go to college again
158
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:57,041
I walked around campus all last night
159
00:12:57,042 --> 00:12:58,042
Yeah
160
00:12:58,043 --> 00:13:00,278
Everything seemed different
161
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,946
I know
162
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,349
The building the quad,
none if it seemed right
163
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:11,619
It's like they tell you, you know,
find a major that interests you for a career
164
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:16,961
Nothing interests me,
I don't want a fucking career
165
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,589
You know what I want my career to be
166
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,201
Playing soccer for the school team
167
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:26,137
Making out with chicks
168
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,439
You know, drinking beer
169
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,075
Walking around with my
shirt off all day like an idiot
170
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:34,045
That's what I want my career to be
171
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:35,380
You know what it is
172
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,649
Suddenly we don't belong here anymore
173
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,985
For 4 years they tell us
this is your home
174
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:44,114
And then one day you wake up
and you don't belong here anymore
175
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:46,257
You know what I feel like
176
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:47,125
Yeah
177
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:49,127
I feel like Lucifer
178
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:52,330
I feel like Michael is
chucking me out of paradise
179
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,765
This is the worst day of my life
180
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,369
That was dad on the phone
181
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:04,108
They're letting us stay at home for the summer
while we learn the banking business
182
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:07,579
Oh yeah, that sounds horrible
183
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,180
Their picking us up at 6 A.M.
184
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:10,548
6 A.M.
185
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:13,574
You know dad, he likes to
get an early start
186
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,155
I can't do it bro'
187
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:18,489
I can't and I won't
188
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:22,450
I'm not leaving
189
00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:24,229
What are you talking about
190
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,297
I'm not leaving and neither are you
191
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:28,600
Dad ain't paying for
another year of college
192
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,702
You got 20 grand because I don't
193
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:34,038
The school charges rent, you know
194
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,374
I'm not getting a job Evan
195
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,443
We won't get real jobs
196
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:42,247
We'll coach soccer at the
local soccer camp this summer
197
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:45,049
Evan, you're my brother and I love you
198
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,983
I'm not leaving you behind
199
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:49,988
You're really staying
200
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,055
I'm not going anywhere
201
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,420
This is my home
202
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,626
How are we going to pull it off
203
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,563
I have no idea, but I know
I can't do it without you bro'
204
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,099
We in this together, 50-50
205
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:05,092
O.K. man, I mean, I'm
with you one hundred percent
206
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:09,040
I don't know how we're
staying, but we're staying
207
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:12,377
Maybe we'll leave
college one day, but not today
208
00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:14,846
Not today
209
00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:18,917
Evan and I had less than 24 hours
to secure ourselves a 5th year
210
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,585
We knew we needed some help
211
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,421
And if there was one guy in
our fraternity that could help us
212
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,423
It was Greg Karanoski
213
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:28,159
The guy had been in
college for close to a decade
214
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,627
He was a legend
215
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:32,392
We called him Fossil
216
00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:35,199
So, we figured if anyone
could help us it would be you
217
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,602
You figured right fellas
218
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,570
I'm an 8 year senior
219
00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:41,439
Triple major, quadruple minor
220
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,442
Currently majoring in the
breeding habits of advanced primates
221
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:49,047
Basically, I have a quarter million dollars
of education crammed into this skull
222
00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:51,316
Alright Fossil, we don't need
your credentials
223
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,484
Just tell us how we do it,
how do we stay
224
00:15:53,485 --> 00:15:56,681
How to stay
225
00:15:57,122 --> 00:16:00,625
Gentleman, the following
are sacred rules
226
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,127
Fossil's commandments if you will
227
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:06,197
Rule number 1;
No summer classes ever
228
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,099
The campus is dead and nobody is around
229
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,934
And you're even
getting closer to graduation
230
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:11,402
Stupid
231
00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:15,506
Secondly, I want the two
of you to enroll in Trigonometry
232
00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:19,344
Trig is arguably the hardest
course that this college has to offer
233
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:22,613
Wait, wait, wait why do we
want to sign up for a hard class
234
00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:27,352
Because, even your parents are
scared to death of Trigonometry
235
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:30,686
Therefore, they will be supportive
and understanding when you fail
236
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,091
Obviously, rule number 2
237
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:35,326
Take Trigonometry
as many times as possible
238
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:38,363
I have personally failed Trigonometry 5 times
239
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:40,465
Now that's 15 credit hours
240
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:44,369
I personally owe an entire
extra semester to Trigonometry
241
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,337
Wow
242
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,438
Rule number 3
243
00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:48,973
Beer is your friend
244
00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:51,542
The more you drink the more
you'll get out of the college experience
245
00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:55,046
However, somewhere around
your 3rd senior year
246
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:57,081
You should check yourself
into rehab for alcoholism
247
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,516
But don't worry
Your parents won't be angry
248
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,186
I mean you're just a poor, young,
impressionable soul with a problem
249
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:05,156
They'll actually think you're growing up
because you're seeking help
250
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:07,959
Besides, at rehab the food is phenomenal
251
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,028
And the babes, they're fucking sluts
252
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,429
Tell Pam I said hi
253
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:14,198
Alright dude, this is all great stuff
254
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:15,333
But we don't have any time
255
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,903
We're being picked up
in 20, 19 hours
256
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:20,371
Do you have any tests left
257
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:24,509
Yeah, we have our
history 404 final at noon
258
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,277
Fail it
259
00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:27,111
What
260
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,013
Fossil rule number 4
261
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:30,248
Fail your last test
262
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:33,551
Your parents have already paid
for 99% of your college education
263
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:37,121
Do you really think they are going to call it
quits because you've come 3 credits shy
264
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:38,222
Fuck no
265
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:42,260
Fail your last test and you'll be right back here
next year taking that same class again in the fall
266
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,428
Dude that might work
267
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,096
Of course it will work
268
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,432
Ah dude thanks Fossil
269
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,100
Fossil you're awesome
270
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:50,201
Hey, no problem
271
00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:51,002
Now, are we alright here guys
272
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,371
Absolutely, thanks dude
273
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:56,407
Alright, I don't want to be rude but
I'm going to ask you guys to run along
274
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,242
Scooter's got an 11 o'clock booked
275
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,506
Ah, Scooter you out there
276
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:06,017
Get back here you pussies, get
277
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:08,519
Can't leave until the keg is finished
278
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,021
Get back here
279
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,717
You, pledge
280
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:18,329
Why don't you drink
you skirt wearing pussy
281
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,565
Shove it up your ass bitch
282
00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:23,398
Give me those chips
283
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:28,106
Give me those chips
284
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,838
Ah, Fuck
285
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,878
I'll shove 'em down your throat
286
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:38,071
Fuck, Fuck
287
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,712
Give me those chips
288
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:46,424
Hey, Kegger is getting laid
289
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:47,658
Yeah, give it to her Kegger
290
00:18:47,659 --> 00:18:50,787
Whoa, is that chick French
291
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:52,997
Holy shit
292
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:54,988
They're fags
293
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,506
We're spinning our wheels here Scooter
294
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,574
It's either you're going to
take my advice or you're not
295
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:04,976
I can't help you if you're too scared
296
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,444
I can't
297
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:09,614
Sure you can you just
have to be smooth on the phone
298
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,516
I can't
299
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:13,284
Women can smell fear
300
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:15,453
That's why it's important
that you act like you don't care
301
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:16,654
if she's fucking the entire football team
302
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:19,423
Because you my friend are
having sex with the cheerleading squad
303
00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:22,226
The pom squad, their younger sisters,
their grandmas at home
304
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:28,366
Everyone in the entire arena
for you fuck her, fuck her
305
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,061
I can't do it Fossil
306
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,904
Scooter, of course you can
307
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:36,174
I'm going to show you this once,
but only this one time, O.K.
308
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,475
Yeah
309
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:39,644
Now, I'm going to show you,
but you have to pay attention
310
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,013
Now, what's this girl's name
311
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:42,914
Kerry
312
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,215
And what's her number
313
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:49,483
616-555-3836
314
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:53,191
Wait, you're not
going to call her are you
315
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,292
You want to get laid don't you
316
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:56,227
No, I mean yeah, I, I, I mean
317
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,496
Alright, now you want to
go out on a date with this girl
318
00:19:58,497 --> 00:19:59,895
Let me set it up
319
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:01,732
It's ringing
320
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:03,534
Answering machine
321
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:04,435
No, hang up hang up
322
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:05,868
No, no, no, I got this
323
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:10,007
Hey Kerry, this is Greg
over at the Gamma Chi house
324
00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:11,375
Um, I'm just hanging
out with my buddy Scooter
325
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:14,478
And he was just telling me what
a beautiful smile he thinks you have
326
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:17,248
And on top of that he went down to
the gallery and saw some of your work
327
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:19,483
Now he can't stop talking
about how talented he thinks you are
328
00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:23,087
Well, anyway we are over here just watching
my younger brother and his puppy
329
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:25,690
Well, anyway if you're interested in
swinging by with some of your friends
330
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:27,225
Why don't you give me a call
331
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:31,195
555-9452, talk to you then bye
332
00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:37,268
You're going to get laid tonight
Scooter, panties are going to drop, drop
333
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:40,104
Dude, we don't have a puppy
334
00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:43,474
Who cares, women being lied to
335
00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:45,509
Hey, as long as I get laid
336
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,612
Laid, oh you will get laid
337
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,113
I think I know this chick
338
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:51,215
She's put on the old freshmen
15 but let me tell ya
339
00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:53,183
Total freak
340
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,756
O.K. time is up
341
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:02,159
Put your pencils down and past
your test to the left and forward
342
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:06,530
Results of the test will
be posted outside my office
343
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:07,698
I'm going to go to lunch now
344
00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:10,134
When I get back I'm going to
put all these through the scantron
345
00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:13,137
So, the results should be
up in about 2 hours
346
00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:15,106
For all you juniors out there
have a great summer
347
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:20,111
Seniors, finally your wait is over
and you can join the workforce
348
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,443
Good luck to you all
349
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,589
How did you do on the test
350
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,091
I think I might have got a D minus
351
00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:35,459
Ah, I wouldn't worry about it
352
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:39,163
You probably came through
with a well deserved F
353
00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:40,331
Yeah, you're right I failed
354
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,966
That's what I'm talking about
355
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,101
Coming back next year bro'
356
00:21:44,102 --> 00:21:46,170
5th year, baby
357
00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:47,204
5th year
358
00:21:47,205 --> 00:21:50,765
Let's go get some fucking chicks
359
00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:17,261
Hey, was that you mud wrestling
360
00:23:17,262 --> 00:23:18,262
Yeah
361
00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:20,731
I saw that shit it was bad ass
362
00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:26,504
Hey, what did you get on the test
363
00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:27,338
Winston
364
00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:28,305
What's up fellas
365
00:23:28,306 --> 00:23:29,440
What's up
366
00:23:29,441 --> 00:23:34,512
I'm pretty sure I aced the test and because
my good old boy Brandon copied off of mine
367
00:23:34,513 --> 00:23:36,147
I'm pretty sure he aced it to
368
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:38,315
You aced the test, yeah right
369
00:23:38,316 --> 00:23:42,186
Bro, just because I can
drink twice as much beer as you
370
00:23:42,187 --> 00:23:44,522
And bang twice as many chicks as you
371
00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:47,525
Does not mean that
I'm not a 4.0 History major
372
00:23:47,526 --> 00:23:50,461
Hey, my man Winston here
could ace that test in his sleep
373
00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:51,562
I think I did
374
00:23:51,563 --> 00:23:52,596
What's that
375
00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:57,268
Ah, Um, Look you guys want to know
what the correct answers were on the test
376
00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:59,970
Yeah, tell me what was
the answer to number 7
377
00:23:59,971 --> 00:24:03,541
Um, 7 is uh Costa Rica
378
00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:05,109
I got Costa Rica
379
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,010
Me too
380
00:24:06,011 --> 00:24:08,546
Hey, what did you get for
the last one, 1847
381
00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:10,147
Yup, Yup
382
00:24:10,148 --> 00:24:12,683
What about the first one, what
was your answer on the first one.
383
00:24:12,684 --> 00:24:18,222
First one, the, uh, Belize 1472
384
00:24:18,223 --> 00:24:20,850
Oh shit
385
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:24,195
Look who cares about the test boys
386
00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:26,755
C'mon let's party
387
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:30,601
Here's the thing, we
tried to throw the test
388
00:24:30,602 --> 00:24:33,103
But the answers we thought
were wrong were right
389
00:24:33,104 --> 00:24:34,004
We should have studied more
390
00:24:34,005 --> 00:24:37,441
Wait, why would we study
for a test we were trying to fail
391
00:24:37,442 --> 00:24:42,213
Because you have to know what the right
answers are in order to pick the wrong ones
392
00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:44,875
Why did you 2 numbnuts even
show up for the exam anyway
393
00:24:48,386 --> 00:24:50,588
Well, so what do we do now Fossil
394
00:24:50,589 --> 00:24:53,491
Fossil rule number 5
395
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:56,227
Cheat, when all else fails just cheat
396
00:24:56,228 --> 00:24:58,496
Dude it's too late to cheat
397
00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,898
And when even cheating fails to work
398
00:25:00,899 --> 00:25:02,266
Rule number 6
399
00:25:02,267 --> 00:25:03,467
Steal the test
400
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:07,137
Now, logically you would
want to do this before the test
401
00:25:07,138 --> 00:25:09,607
But somehow the two of
you have been defying logic
402
00:25:09,608 --> 00:25:12,376
What I need you to do is
break into your professor's office
403
00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:15,579
Steal the test and change all of
your right answer to the wrong ones
404
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:17,281
What if we get caught
405
00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:20,451
What if you get caught,
who the fuck cares
406
00:25:20,452 --> 00:25:22,186
What's the worst that can happen to you
407
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,615
They kick you out of school
They're kicking you out tomorrow anyway
408
00:25:27,092 --> 00:25:28,926
Um, what the fuck
you guys looking at me for
409
00:25:28,927 --> 00:25:29,994
I don't have the test
410
00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:33,828
Get out of here you are
interrupting my espresso time
411
00:26:09,267 --> 00:26:11,001
Pick the lock
What?
412
00:26:11,036 --> 00:26:13,070
Pick the lock
413
00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:14,505
What the hell do I know
about picking locks
414
00:26:14,506 --> 00:26:16,473
I thought you knew karate
415
00:26:16,474 --> 00:26:19,009
I got a yellow belt at
the YMCA like 12 years ago
416
00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:21,178
And I don't know what
that has to do with anything
417
00:26:21,179 --> 00:26:22,179
Use your keys then
418
00:26:22,180 --> 00:26:23,581
Use my keys to do what
419
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,549
To pick the lock
420
00:26:25,550 --> 00:26:27,918
I'm pretty sure I don't
have the key to his office
421
00:26:27,919 --> 00:26:29,453
And I don't think the
wrong key is going to work
422
00:26:29,454 --> 00:26:31,388
That's the entire idea behind keys
423
00:26:31,389 --> 00:26:32,423
Use your credit card
424
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,949
Dad cut up our credit cards
425
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:55,011
Friday 11:22 a.m.
426
00:26:56,014 --> 00:26:58,382
Hey Kerry this is Greg
over at the Gamma Chi house
427
00:26:58,383 --> 00:27:00,150
Um, I'm just hanging out
with my buddy Scooter
428
00:27:00,151 --> 00:27:03,020
And he was just telling me what
a beautiful smile he thinks you have
429
00:27:03,021 --> 00:27:06,490
And on top of that he went down to
the gallery and saw some of your work
430
00:27:06,491 --> 00:27:08,892
Now he can't stop talking about
how talented he thinks you are
431
00:27:08,893 --> 00:27:12,463
Well, anyway we are over here just watching
my younger brother and his puppy
432
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:15,633
Well, anyway if you're interested in
swinging by with some of your friends
433
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:16,600
Why don't you give me a call
434
00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:20,571
555-9452, talk to you then bye
435
00:27:20,572 --> 00:27:26,510
You're going to get laid tonight
Scooter, panties are going to drop, drop
436
00:27:26,511 --> 00:27:29,446
Dude, we don't have a puppy
437
00:27:29,447 --> 00:27:32,983
Who cares, women love being lied to
438
00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:35,019
Hey, as long as I get laid
439
00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:37,254
Laid, oh you will get laid
440
00:27:37,255 --> 00:27:38,389
I think I know this chick
441
00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:40,457
She's put on the old freshmen
15 but let me tell ya
442
00:27:40,458 --> 00:27:42,823
Total freak
443
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:01,706
Scooter
444
00:28:02,213 --> 00:28:04,581
Hey Kerry, hey did you get my message
445
00:28:04,582 --> 00:28:06,417
Yeah you know I sure did
446
00:28:06,428 --> 00:28:09,050
I'm really glad you could make it
We have some beer over here
447
00:28:09,554 --> 00:28:14,323
Goal
448
00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:25,903
Adam, those are holier than thous
449
00:28:25,904 --> 00:28:27,938
Dude, some of them are hot
450
00:28:27,939 --> 00:28:32,276
Um, is that alcohol
that everyone is drinking
451
00:28:32,277 --> 00:28:34,011
Yeah, do you want one or not
452
00:28:34,012 --> 00:28:36,280
I thought you said this was a barbeque
453
00:28:36,281 --> 00:28:38,515
It is a barbeque, do you want one
454
00:28:38,516 --> 00:28:39,583
We don't drink
455
00:28:39,584 --> 00:28:40,584
Why not
456
00:28:40,585 --> 00:28:42,119
We're Christians
457
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,955
Unpucker your assholes
458
00:28:44,956 --> 00:28:46,990
Uh, why that is the rudest
459
00:28:46,991 --> 00:28:50,994
You know Jesus turned
water into wine not mango juice
460
00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:53,464
I'll have a beer
461
00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:56,233
Jane
What, he's right
462
00:28:56,234 --> 00:28:59,336
You know, Christian girls
are best on their knees
463
00:28:59,337 --> 00:29:01,371
You know we should
get that put on a T-shirt
464
00:29:01,372 --> 00:29:03,066
Shut up Jane
465
00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:08,112
I'm thinking about
going to the new gym in town
466
00:29:08,113 --> 00:29:10,147
They have a lot more free weights there
467
00:29:10,148 --> 00:29:12,516
They would let me in for free also
468
00:29:12,517 --> 00:29:15,085
It's good for them to have
a big guy like me there
469
00:29:15,086 --> 00:29:19,886
I'm putting up like 310, 325
470
00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:24,561
Ah, I need another beer
It was nice talking to you though
471
00:29:24,562 --> 00:29:26,497
Wait a minute, hold on
472
00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:29,131
Pledges
473
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,102
Can't you see this women needs a beer
474
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:33,370
I'm fine really
475
00:29:33,371 --> 00:29:34,972
Get her a beer now
476
00:29:34,973 --> 00:29:37,907
You two give me 20 push ups
477
00:29:38,476 --> 00:29:39,943
Why
478
00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:41,612
Because I said so that's why
479
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:42,646
Make it 50
480
00:29:42,647 --> 00:29:44,181
Jerk
481
00:29:44,182 --> 00:29:47,017
Great, make it 100
482
00:29:47,018 --> 00:29:48,318
Just go until I say stop
483
00:29:48,319 --> 00:29:51,388
I'm not getting laid now because of
you two little cock blocks
484
00:29:51,389 --> 00:29:53,023
Wait until you meet The General
485
00:29:53,024 --> 00:29:54,992
The General is coming tonight
486
00:29:54,993 --> 00:29:58,758
You, poor that beer down your dress
487
00:30:06,337 --> 00:30:08,405
Kerry was just over at the barbeque
488
00:30:08,406 --> 00:30:11,441
She came right up to me
and kicked me in the balls
489
00:30:11,442 --> 00:30:12,543
Your plan sucked
490
00:30:12,544 --> 00:30:14,444
Dude, calm down
491
00:30:14,445 --> 00:30:15,646
This is great news
492
00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,681
How is that possibly great news
493
00:30:17,682 --> 00:30:21,585
Scooter, it is the primal instinct for the
female to kick the male in the genitalia
494
00:30:21,586 --> 00:30:22,919
When ready to mate
495
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:26,123
This is basically a sign that the female
has chosen her male to reproduce with
496
00:30:26,124 --> 00:30:28,625
Fossil that is the biggest load
of shit I have ever heard
497
00:30:28,626 --> 00:30:30,694
Remember I am an A student in my major
498
00:30:30,695 --> 00:30:32,262
Breeding habits of advanced primates
499
00:30:32,263 --> 00:30:34,298
I'm like the Dahli fucking Lama of this shit
500
00:30:34,299 --> 00:30:35,699
You're an A student
501
00:30:35,700 --> 00:30:38,268
Well, I'm a student
502
00:30:38,269 --> 00:30:40,704
Yeah, right let's move on
503
00:30:40,705 --> 00:30:42,406
Look, you screwed things up
504
00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:43,940
It's all right
I screwed up
505
00:30:43,975 --> 00:30:46,410
What did I do,
I did what you told me to do
506
00:30:46,411 --> 00:30:48,178
Scooter, have you ever seen
a women naked
507
00:30:48,179 --> 00:30:50,681
Yeah, yeah of course I have
508
00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:52,549
Who, when, where
509
00:30:52,550 --> 00:30:55,686
You know, on the uh
510
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:59,323
T.V., magazines, the internet
511
00:30:59,324 --> 00:31:00,524
You know, lots of times dude
512
00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:03,927
Oh boy, looks like you're going to
need a little more help than I thought
513
00:31:03,928 --> 00:31:06,196
I'm going to have to really reach
into the bag of tricks for this one
514
00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:08,465
Do you have anyone else in mind
515
00:31:08,466 --> 00:31:10,133
I don't know
516
00:31:10,134 --> 00:31:12,336
I want to get laid
517
00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:13,971
But I really like Kerry
518
00:31:13,972 --> 00:31:15,372
You've already screwed
things up with Kerry
519
00:31:15,373 --> 00:31:17,374
Do you have anything else in mind
520
00:31:17,375 --> 00:31:19,643
Well I don't know if I want anyone else
Fossil
521
00:31:19,644 --> 00:31:20,944
I mean I really like her
522
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,346
Oh, that's cute
523
00:31:22,347 --> 00:31:23,580
Now, man up, grab your sack
524
00:31:23,581 --> 00:31:26,140
And let's figure out how to
get your dipstick into some oil
525
00:31:30,622 --> 00:31:33,557
Alright, we'll need some tight shirts
526
00:31:33,558 --> 00:31:37,160
Expensive shoes, tight pair of jeans
527
00:31:37,161 --> 00:31:38,495
Maybe a little man perfume
528
00:31:38,496 --> 00:31:40,030
Huh, What am I going to
need that stuff for
529
00:31:40,031 --> 00:31:41,598
Because you're going to pretend to be gay
530
00:31:41,599 --> 00:31:44,201
What, no Fossil
Fuck no
531
00:31:44,202 --> 00:31:46,503
Scooter, I pretended to be
gay my entire 3rd senior year
532
00:31:46,504 --> 00:31:47,638
I got laid more than carpet
533
00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:51,208
You meet a girl, become best friends
534
00:31:51,209 --> 00:31:52,643
Go shopping, maybe get a facial
535
00:31:52,644 --> 00:31:53,543
And then you give them the line
536
00:31:53,544 --> 00:31:55,545
I could never imagine myself with a woman
537
00:31:55,546 --> 00:31:57,946
Next thing you know
they're on top of you
538
00:32:01,686 --> 00:32:04,388
Congratulations bro,
for the second time
539
00:32:04,389 --> 00:32:08,518
Who would of thought failing
a test would be so much work
540
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,128
Hey Jeff, Jeff
541
00:32:11,129 --> 00:32:14,064
What happened to your skirt man
542
00:32:14,065 --> 00:32:17,601
Sir, Pledge Master Kegger instructed
me to pour beer down my pants, sir
543
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:19,069
Alright, that's enough with the sir business
544
00:32:19,070 --> 00:32:20,464
You can just call me Jake
Alright
545
00:32:20,471 --> 00:32:22,472
Man, that Kegger guy
is a complete asshole
546
00:32:22,473 --> 00:32:23,507
Yeah, he can be
547
00:32:23,508 --> 00:32:26,476
But you didn't hear that from us
548
00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:30,247
Jeff go up into my room and
grab yourself a clean pair of pants
549
00:32:30,248 --> 00:32:31,048
Thanks you, sir
550
00:32:31,049 --> 00:32:33,050
Uh, Jake, thanks
551
00:32:33,051 --> 00:32:35,419
Are we going to have to
really drown a kitten tonight
552
00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:36,320
Come here
553
00:32:36,321 --> 00:32:39,589
Do you really think that my brother
and I would be in this frat if we did
554
00:32:39,590 --> 00:32:41,525
Look, it's going to be tough tonight
555
00:32:41,526 --> 00:32:42,960
But you're going to get through it
556
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:44,261
And it's going to be totally worth it
557
00:32:44,262 --> 00:32:45,595
Thanks a lot guys
558
00:32:45,596 --> 00:32:46,730
Can I get you guys a beer
559
00:32:46,731 --> 00:32:49,032
Yeah sure I'll take another brew
560
00:32:49,033 --> 00:32:50,500
Yeah, me too
Take your time
561
00:32:50,501 --> 00:32:52,025
Thanks guys
562
00:33:14,692 --> 00:33:16,994
Hey babe I'm Freddie
563
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:19,229
I like your style sexy
564
00:33:19,230 --> 00:33:23,266
Um, look it's not what it looks like alright
565
00:33:23,267 --> 00:33:24,701
It's alright honey
566
00:33:24,702 --> 00:33:26,636
I had trouble coming
out of the closet for years
567
00:33:26,637 --> 00:33:28,038
I'm not in the closet
568
00:33:28,039 --> 00:33:30,440
I don't even own a closet
569
00:33:30,441 --> 00:33:33,637
You know I have one of those poles
on my wall to hang my clothes on
570
00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:37,180
Look this is just a plan O.K.
571
00:33:37,181 --> 00:33:39,082
I'm not gay I'm trying to get laid
572
00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:40,450
Will you please just let me go
573
00:33:40,451 --> 00:33:42,619
Hey, take it easy
574
00:33:42,620 --> 00:33:43,420
We just met
575
00:33:43,421 --> 00:33:45,355
Let's take things a little slower
576
00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:47,983
And there will be plenty of time for lovin
577
00:33:50,428 --> 00:33:52,529
Oh yeah
578
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:54,498
Hey guys do you want one
579
00:33:54,499 --> 00:33:58,268
One what exactly
580
00:33:58,269 --> 00:34:00,430
Hey common let's go
and make sure we failed
581
00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:05,409
Are the hot dogs done yet
582
00:34:05,410 --> 00:34:07,639
No baby and neither are you
583
00:34:26,697 --> 00:34:29,132
Alright people excuse me pardon me
584
00:34:29,133 --> 00:34:30,133
Hey what the fuck
585
00:34:30,134 --> 00:34:33,670
Frat boys, what are you doing
586
00:34:33,671 --> 00:34:35,605
Hey my name is on that
587
00:34:35,606 --> 00:34:37,340
My grade's on there
588
00:34:37,341 --> 00:34:39,866
We need to see our grade
589
00:34:41,179 --> 00:34:43,380
You said Winston was a History major
590
00:34:43,381 --> 00:34:44,314
He is a History major
591
00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:46,650
Hey, then why didn't he know
any of the right answers to the test
592
00:34:46,651 --> 00:34:49,319
You're a History major why
didn't you know any of the wrong ones
593
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,387
Ah shut up Evan
594
00:34:50,388 --> 00:34:52,355
Dude you wanted to take History
in the first place
595
00:34:52,356 --> 00:34:53,957
Yeah, to take it not to pass it
596
00:34:53,958 --> 00:34:56,226
Fuck you know we had all
the answers wrong and we failed
597
00:34:56,227 --> 00:34:58,728
But we had to go back and
change all the answers because of you
598
00:34:58,729 --> 00:35:01,031
You wanted to change them to Jake
599
00:35:01,032 --> 00:35:04,067
Yeah, but I wouldn't have wanted to if you
hadn't have talked to Winston in the first place
600
00:35:04,068 --> 00:35:05,268
Dude we both talked to Winston
601
00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:07,471
Winston came up to both of us and said hi
602
00:35:07,472 --> 00:35:10,736
No, you went up to Winston and
said hey what did you get on the test
603
00:35:11,275 --> 00:35:12,943
Yeah
604
00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:15,145
Fuck
Sorry
605
00:35:15,146 --> 00:35:19,912
You know were like 13, 14 hours away
from becoming financial bankers
606
00:35:21,652 --> 00:35:23,881
Let's go see Fossil
607
00:35:25,256 --> 00:35:27,357
So let me see if I'm getting this here
608
00:35:27,358 --> 00:35:29,659
You originally had all the answers wrong
609
00:35:29,660 --> 00:35:31,528
But for some reason
thought you had all the answers right
610
00:35:31,529 --> 00:35:34,030
So you broke into your professor's office
Stole the test
611
00:35:34,098 --> 00:35:36,600
Changed all your answers to
what you thought were the wrong answers
612
00:35:36,601 --> 00:35:39,503
But actually changed them to the
right answers and then passed the test
613
00:35:39,504 --> 00:35:40,670
Am I getting this
614
00:35:40,671 --> 00:35:43,073
Yeah that about covers it
615
00:35:43,074 --> 00:35:45,142
How in the fuck is that possible
616
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:46,643
I have no idea
617
00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:48,178
What did you get
618
00:35:48,179 --> 00:35:49,079
A-
619
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,147
Straight A
620
00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,948
So what do we do now
621
00:35:51,949 --> 00:35:54,217
Alright, I didn't want to
have to go in this direction
622
00:35:54,218 --> 00:35:56,253
But you guys have to get some
scholarships
623
00:35:56,254 --> 00:35:58,588
Dude I barely pulled a C average
624
00:35:58,589 --> 00:36:03,593
I got a 2.3 and for the last 4 years
have done absolutely no community service
625
00:36:03,594 --> 00:36:07,931
I've never helped out in any group
or organization in any fucking way
626
00:36:07,932 --> 00:36:11,301
Do I look like an A student to you
627
00:36:11,302 --> 00:36:13,136
I don't even know where the fuck
I slept last night
628
00:36:13,137 --> 00:36:16,239
But I do know I have tons of scholarships
rolling in each and every semester
629
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:17,174
How's that
630
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:18,208
Rule number 7
631
00:36:18,209 --> 00:36:19,376
Hit on high school chicks
632
00:36:19,377 --> 00:36:20,911
Get one to ask you to prom
633
00:36:20,912 --> 00:36:22,679
Dude were 22 years old
634
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,980
We're not going to prom
635
00:36:23,981 --> 00:36:26,650
Ever heard the expression off
like a prom dress
636
00:36:26,651 --> 00:36:28,552
I believe it speaks for itself
637
00:36:28,553 --> 00:36:30,587
Well, anyway if you go to prom
in a tuxedo
638
00:36:30,588 --> 00:36:32,155
And your date wears a dress
made of duct tape
639
00:36:32,156 --> 00:36:36,092
You can basically win up to $2,500
in scholarship money for college
640
00:36:36,093 --> 00:36:38,128
I'm the 3 year reigning scholarship winner
641
00:36:38,129 --> 00:36:39,963
I don't believe this guy
642
00:36:39,964 --> 00:36:40,964
No way
643
00:36:40,965 --> 00:36:42,499
This is a load of crap
644
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:44,568
No seriously it's a real scholarship
645
00:36:44,569 --> 00:36:47,137
Now I've already been invited
to prom this year
646
00:36:47,138 --> 00:36:50,373
But just so you guys know I did invite
a couple of high school chicks today
647
00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:52,542
Actually even a few hot ones at
the barbeque right now
648
00:36:52,543 --> 00:36:53,343
No shit
649
00:36:53,344 --> 00:36:54,644
No shit I'm the shit
650
00:36:54,645 --> 00:36:56,146
Rule number 8
651
00:36:56,147 --> 00:36:57,981
You don't have to be sober to cook
652
00:36:57,982 --> 00:36:59,950
I am an excellent cook
653
00:36:59,951 --> 00:37:01,084
You can't cook
654
00:37:01,085 --> 00:37:03,286
Ever heard of Fossil's famous cherry pie
655
00:37:03,287 --> 00:37:06,389
No, he does make a mean cherry pie
I'll give him that
656
00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:08,425
The guy makes a hell of a cherry pie
657
00:37:08,426 --> 00:37:09,593
You're damn right I do
658
00:37:09,594 --> 00:37:13,530
You're looking at the 2005 2006
Mr. Cherry Pie Scholarship Award Winner
659
00:37:13,531 --> 00:37:15,665
That's a cool grand each year for college
660
00:37:15,666 --> 00:37:19,002
You can't cook
661
00:37:19,003 --> 00:37:21,304
That's not even a real scholarship
662
00:37:21,305 --> 00:37:23,573
You bet your ass it is
663
00:37:23,574 --> 00:37:27,410
Basically I just bake a little weed
into the pie
664
00:37:27,411 --> 00:37:29,546
Judges will vote for anything if their high
665
00:37:29,547 --> 00:37:32,249
Fossil rule number 9
666
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,617
It's not a lie if you believe it
667
00:37:33,618 --> 00:37:37,220
Basically just tell a lie so many times
that even you forget if it's the truth or not
668
00:37:37,221 --> 00:37:43,023
For example I'm getting scholarships
for Cancer, Leukemia, Tuberculosis
669
00:37:43,995 --> 00:37:46,329
I think I'm getting one for
being a single parent
670
00:37:46,330 --> 00:37:48,498
But it's up to you guys to figure out
what your story is going to be
671
00:37:48,499 --> 00:37:49,432
What the lie is going to be
672
00:37:49,433 --> 00:37:51,301
So, if you guys don't mind
673
00:37:51,302 --> 00:37:52,335
Go get some scholarships
674
00:37:52,336 --> 00:37:54,004
It's time for me to take my meds
675
00:37:54,005 --> 00:37:58,134
Did I mention I have glaucoma
676
00:39:31,936 --> 00:39:34,971
So, what high school do you go to
677
00:39:34,972 --> 00:39:37,474
Oh, I go to East and my
best friend Joy she goes to East
678
00:39:37,475 --> 00:39:38,441
But now she goes to CC
679
00:39:38,442 --> 00:39:39,576
And she promised to be
best friends forever
680
00:39:39,577 --> 00:39:40,577
But I'm not sure anymore
681
00:39:40,578 --> 00:39:41,711
Because she's friends
with this girl named Paula
682
00:39:41,712 --> 00:39:42,912
And Paula's a total bitch
683
00:39:42,913 --> 00:39:44,514
And I really wanted to go to the
mall one day and she wouldn't let me go
684
00:39:44,515 --> 00:39:45,515
So, so your high school
685
00:39:45,516 --> 00:39:47,049
Does it have a prom
Oh yeah
686
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:49,352
Wait, whoa
687
00:39:49,353 --> 00:39:51,154
Are you asking me to go to prom
688
00:39:51,155 --> 00:39:52,355
Yeah
689
00:39:52,356 --> 00:39:54,023
Oh my God, Oh my God
690
00:39:54,024 --> 00:39:56,960
Joyce is going to be so jealous
I'm going to prom with a college guy
691
00:39:56,961 --> 00:39:59,329
I have to tell her right now
692
00:39:59,330 --> 00:40:02,432
Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God
693
00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:04,100
So, I was thinking
about what we could wear
694
00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:06,469
There's this scholarship
Yeah, I got this pink dress with a white trim on it
695
00:40:06,470 --> 00:40:08,071
And it's going to cost
about $300 of your money
696
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:09,606
Because it's from a really
expensive store I really like
697
00:40:09,607 --> 00:40:11,640
But I haven't even been there in years
And I really want to go there
698
00:40:11,642 --> 00:40:13,209
Actually I was thinking
we could both go in duct tape
699
00:40:13,210 --> 00:40:16,279
But duct tape doesn't come in pink
700
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:20,116
Besides I have this black
tux for you with a pink cumber bun
701
00:40:20,117 --> 00:40:21,050
And we're going to totally match
702
00:40:21,051 --> 00:40:23,286
And your twin should
really go with my best friend
703
00:40:23,287 --> 00:40:25,054
So we can go to this
really expensive restaurant
704
00:40:25,055 --> 00:40:26,523
Because I totally don't want
to eat and not look fat in my dress
705
00:40:26,524 --> 00:40:29,549
And I want to get their late so I
look like the shit when I get to the ball
706
00:40:30,694 --> 00:40:32,662
Do you have any idea
what just happened to me
707
00:40:32,663 --> 00:40:33,963
Did you get laid
708
00:40:33,964 --> 00:40:36,032
No, my God no I didn't get laid
709
00:40:36,033 --> 00:40:37,700
Did you at least get close
710
00:40:37,701 --> 00:40:39,335
Yeah we got to first base
711
00:40:39,336 --> 00:40:41,638
Rounded 2nd and thank God
we didn't get to 3rd
712
00:40:41,639 --> 00:40:43,706
Hey, second base
That's not bad
713
00:40:43,707 --> 00:40:45,575
No, it was, it was with a man you idiot
714
00:40:45,576 --> 00:40:49,112
Yeah that is a possible
unfortunate side effect to that plan
715
00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:50,580
Did that ever happen to you
716
00:40:50,581 --> 00:40:51,714
Nope, never
717
00:40:51,715 --> 00:40:54,451
Yeah, yeah I'll see you
718
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:57,353
Oh, and don't call Kerry alright
719
00:40:57,354 --> 00:40:58,655
I don't want any more of your help
720
00:40:58,690 --> 00:41:01,357
You got it
Alright, sure
721
00:41:01,358 --> 00:41:03,927
You know I was kicked in the balls
722
00:41:03,928 --> 00:41:05,695
The girl that I like hates me
723
00:41:05,696 --> 00:41:08,164
And I was taken advantage of by a man
724
00:41:08,165 --> 00:41:09,999
That's where your idiot help
has gotten me
725
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,968
I'll stay out of it
726
00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:13,002
Fine
727
00:41:13,003 --> 00:41:15,596
Have a nice day
728
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:29,183
Hey Kerry this is Greg from
the Gamma Chi house again
729
00:41:29,553 --> 00:41:31,955
26... 27... 28
730
00:41:31,956 --> 00:41:34,524
You pansies you think
we're being hard on you
731
00:41:34,525 --> 00:41:36,259
The alumni are coming tonight
732
00:41:36,260 --> 00:41:37,494
The General's coming
733
00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:39,095
He's not taking any prisoners
734
00:41:39,096 --> 00:41:40,730
You guys just wait
735
00:41:40,731 --> 00:41:43,099
We've been easy on you
736
00:41:43,100 --> 00:41:48,238
Wait and see what it's like to
be in hell with Satan running things
737
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:53,039
That my friends is what it's like
to have The General pledge you
738
00:41:53,744 --> 00:41:55,311
Not bad boys, not bad
739
00:41:55,312 --> 00:41:58,281
You, good effort with you man
740
00:41:58,282 --> 00:41:59,015
Thank you sir
741
00:41:59,016 --> 00:42:00,183
You two should learn from this guy
742
00:42:00,184 --> 00:42:02,051
You want a beer man
743
00:42:02,052 --> 00:42:03,586
Yes, thank you
744
00:42:03,587 --> 00:42:06,322
Oh, does that taste good
745
00:42:06,323 --> 00:42:08,091
Does it taste good
746
00:42:08,092 --> 00:42:09,492
Yes sir, thank you sir
747
00:42:09,493 --> 00:42:11,694
You're my little bitch you know that
748
00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:15,532
Don't just stand there
Get a mop
749
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:18,593
Have some pride in your fraternity house
750
00:42:18,702 --> 00:42:21,371
We got to go see Fossil
751
00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:24,974
Fossil, do you notice that
none of Fossil's plans ever work
752
00:42:24,975 --> 00:42:27,076
Or even come close to working
753
00:42:27,077 --> 00:42:28,244
I don't know what to do Jake
754
00:42:28,245 --> 00:42:29,512
Yeah, well neither do I
I'm desperate
755
00:42:29,513 --> 00:42:33,583
This is Jake
This is Evan
756
00:42:33,584 --> 00:42:36,486
This is there last day of college here
757
00:42:36,487 --> 00:42:38,354
Dan what the hell are you doing
758
00:42:38,355 --> 00:42:39,289
Oh sorry
759
00:42:39,290 --> 00:42:41,691
This is Ushmad and Ashot
760
00:42:41,692 --> 00:42:44,494
They are foreign exchange
students from India
761
00:42:44,495 --> 00:42:46,696
It is O.K. if we are to say hello to you
762
00:42:46,697 --> 00:42:49,265
Oh, we are working on fraternity story
763
00:42:49,266 --> 00:42:52,302
Ushmad and Ashot are journalism majors
764
00:42:52,303 --> 00:42:56,272
And they are working on a fraternity
story about life here next year
765
00:42:56,273 --> 00:43:00,766
And I figured I would give them a head start
and show them around a bit Is that alright
766
00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:05,248
Today is your last day of college yes
767
00:43:05,249 --> 00:43:06,583
Looks that way
768
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:10,453
Oh, you are very very fortunate
769
00:43:10,454 --> 00:43:15,558
My brother and I must spend 3 more
years prior to receiving diplomas
770
00:43:15,559 --> 00:43:17,193
You can have mine
771
00:43:17,194 --> 00:43:18,461
I am sorry
772
00:43:18,462 --> 00:43:21,431
So you guys stay here during
the summers too
773
00:43:21,432 --> 00:43:24,267
Yes, it is very much a homesick time
774
00:43:24,268 --> 00:43:27,236
We will not return to home for 3 whole years
775
00:43:27,242 --> 00:43:29,038
And your parents
They don't ever visit
776
00:43:29,039 --> 00:43:31,608
No, it is too far away
777
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:33,643
And they are very busy
778
00:43:33,644 --> 00:43:38,414
So, these checks
779
00:43:38,415 --> 00:43:41,017
You get tuition and living expenses
780
00:43:41,018 --> 00:43:44,687
Oh, oh yes he sends full tuition
781
00:43:44,688 --> 00:43:49,225
Plus $300 each a month
for spending money
782
00:43:49,226 --> 00:43:51,561
Tuition
Spending money
783
00:43:51,562 --> 00:43:55,632
So, ah, do these checks
784
00:43:55,633 --> 00:43:58,368
Do they cover room and board also
785
00:43:58,369 --> 00:44:00,236
Oh very much so
786
00:44:00,237 --> 00:44:02,171
Included in full tuition
787
00:44:02,172 --> 00:44:04,574
Well, we must return to dormitory now
788
00:44:04,575 --> 00:44:06,075
It was pleasure meeting you
789
00:44:06,076 --> 00:44:09,067
Thanks guys we'll see ya
tonight at pledging
790
00:44:10,114 --> 00:44:12,946
Bro' here's the plan
791
00:44:13,450 --> 00:44:15,418
I enjoyed my meetings with both of them
792
00:44:15,419 --> 00:44:16,252
They were nice
Very good
793
00:44:16,253 --> 00:44:19,956
But Americans we have such
misconception
794
00:44:19,957 --> 00:44:23,359
Our country it is not the same
No. It is not
795
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:27,697
Ah, what are you doing
796
00:44:27,698 --> 00:44:28,698
Good God
797
00:44:28,699 --> 00:44:31,497
Get off of me
Get off of me
798
00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:42,946
Get this kid
799
00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:51,988
Let go
800
00:44:51,989 --> 00:44:55,822
Get over here Jake
What are you doing? Jake
801
00:45:05,269 --> 00:45:08,101
Lets go
No no please
802
00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:13,437
Get off of me
Get off of us
803
00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:25,486
Fuck yeah bro'
804
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:29,825
Hopefully this will work
Were coming back
805
00:45:45,109 --> 00:45:47,343
I'm really sorry about everything
806
00:45:47,344 --> 00:45:51,180
Um, I'm normally not that kind of guy
807
00:45:51,181 --> 00:45:56,185
Well, you seem alright now
that we've got to talk for a while
808
00:45:56,186 --> 00:45:59,422
And I'm so sorry I beat you up
809
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:02,458
That Fossil
810
00:46:02,459 --> 00:46:03,960
Talk about an A one asshole
811
00:46:03,961 --> 00:46:05,027
Fossil
812
00:46:05,028 --> 00:46:08,397
No, Fossil's a little strange
813
00:46:08,398 --> 00:46:10,433
But overall a good guy
814
00:46:10,434 --> 00:46:12,635
He was there when I needed help and
815
00:46:12,636 --> 00:46:14,603
You're going to want to hear this
816
00:46:19,209 --> 00:46:21,577
Hey Kerry this is Greg
over at the Gamma Chi house again
817
00:46:21,578 --> 00:46:25,414
Just calling to invite you to our pursuit of worldly
knowledge with handcuffs party tonight
818
00:46:25,415 --> 00:46:29,018
Anyway, I don't blame you for
kicking Scooter in the nuts this afternoon
819
00:46:29,019 --> 00:46:30,520
The guy is a little woos
820
00:46:30,521 --> 00:46:32,321
I wouldn't like him if I were a girl either
821
00:46:32,322 --> 00:46:34,157
Forget about that looser
822
00:46:34,158 --> 00:46:35,091
Come over tonight
823
00:46:35,092 --> 00:46:37,560
Handcuff yourself to me and
we'll have a great time alright
824
00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:38,594
See you tonight
825
00:46:38,595 --> 00:46:40,494
That son of a bitch
826
00:46:43,433 --> 00:46:45,268
Do you want to get back at him
827
00:46:45,269 --> 00:46:47,703
I think I have an idea
828
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,375
Alright we need to find their student I.D.'s
829
00:46:52,376 --> 00:46:54,944
Bring them back to Fossil and
he can put our pictures right on them
830
00:46:54,945 --> 00:46:56,445
I wonder if they have Indian porn
831
00:46:56,446 --> 00:46:58,072
Get out of here Ushmad
832
00:46:59,516 --> 00:47:01,551
Indian porn, Indian porn
833
00:47:01,552 --> 00:47:03,586
What the hell is this
834
00:47:03,587 --> 00:47:05,555
Dude I found the checks
835
00:47:05,556 --> 00:47:08,157
What the hell is this
836
00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:09,525
Dear Ushmad and Ashot
837
00:47:09,526 --> 00:47:11,294
Fuck
838
00:47:11,295 --> 00:47:12,461
What
839
00:47:12,462 --> 00:47:14,930
Their grandma died
So?
840
00:47:14,932 --> 00:47:16,999
So, they have to go home for a year
841
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,501
We can't use them to go to college
842
00:47:18,502 --> 00:47:20,636
Why did she have to die
843
00:47:20,637 --> 00:47:23,867
No, no
844
00:47:24,608 --> 00:47:27,577
Every single rule Fossil had entrusted in us
845
00:47:27,578 --> 00:47:31,047
Turned out to be a complete
God damn disaster
846
00:47:31,048 --> 00:47:34,183
Somehow we always ended up
worse than when we started
847
00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:35,551
It's all over
848
00:47:35,552 --> 00:47:38,521
It's 5 o'clock and our parents
are coming in 13 hours
849
00:47:38,522 --> 00:47:41,157
And we have absolutely no options left
850
00:47:41,158 --> 00:47:44,026
Today was really going to be
our last day of college
851
00:47:44,027 --> 00:47:49,097
Well, might as well smoke a bowl
and get laid
852
00:47:49,166 --> 00:47:52,568
So Kegger, Brandon told me that
you fucked a pledge today dude
853
00:47:52,569 --> 00:47:54,637
No, you fucked the pledge
854
00:47:54,638 --> 00:47:56,272
Oh yeah me, no
855
00:47:56,273 --> 00:47:59,141
He had his legs all straddled up
around you
856
00:47:59,142 --> 00:48:01,410
Don't listen to this shit
Don't listen to that shit
857
00:48:01,411 --> 00:48:04,547
C'mon little bro'
858
00:48:04,548 --> 00:48:07,617
Ah yeah pass it to the left
859
00:48:07,618 --> 00:48:09,185
Yeah let's go pass it to the left
860
00:48:09,186 --> 00:48:10,353
No to the right
861
00:48:10,354 --> 00:48:14,557
You know what you're like
a 400 pound light weight
862
00:48:14,558 --> 00:48:26,302
So, I'll see you your fucking socks
And I'll raise you my boxers for your panties
863
00:48:26,303 --> 00:48:28,204
Panties, let's see some panties
864
00:48:28,205 --> 00:48:30,473
Yeah
865
00:48:30,474 --> 00:48:32,608
Oh yeah, let's see what you got
866
00:48:32,609 --> 00:48:35,678
O.K. I got 3 kings
867
00:48:35,679 --> 00:48:37,513
Hell yeah
868
00:48:37,514 --> 00:48:39,315
Go get some
869
00:48:39,316 --> 00:48:42,118
Not so fast boys
870
00:48:42,119 --> 00:48:43,552
Flush
871
00:48:43,553 --> 00:48:44,687
Oh, yeah
872
00:48:44,688 --> 00:48:46,522
Yeah, yeah take it off
873
00:48:46,523 --> 00:48:48,991
Fuck
874
00:48:48,992 --> 00:48:50,660
Alright alright
875
00:48:50,661 --> 00:48:51,994
Ah dude
876
00:48:51,995 --> 00:48:55,431
Hey dude easy
877
00:48:55,432 --> 00:48:58,434
Hey hey, yo
878
00:48:58,435 --> 00:49:01,370
Jesus Christ
879
00:49:01,371 --> 00:49:06,434
Oh yeah, bing, bing, bing...
880
00:49:29,066 --> 00:49:30,931
Is that your super sock that you're
wearing
881
00:49:33,437 --> 00:49:35,171
Oh fuck Evan
Mom and Dad are here
882
00:49:35,172 --> 00:49:37,540
Get up, get up you fucking idiot
Mom and Dad are here
883
00:49:37,541 --> 00:49:42,278
C'mon God Damn it
Fuck, fuck
884
00:49:42,279 --> 00:49:45,414
Where the fuck are my pants
Ah fuck. Where the fuck are my pants
885
00:49:45,415 --> 00:49:47,183
You just grabbed my fucking cock
886
00:49:47,184 --> 00:49:49,675
Where the fuck are my
Oh shit
887
00:49:52,956 --> 00:49:56,292
They are so gay
888
00:49:56,293 --> 00:49:59,161
Girls what are we going to do now
889
00:49:59,162 --> 00:50:01,330
You're the only one not naked
890
00:50:01,331 --> 00:50:05,562
C'mon lets go
Ah yeah
891
00:50:07,637 --> 00:50:09,472
Mom, Dad
892
00:50:09,473 --> 00:50:11,407
You look messy
893
00:50:11,408 --> 00:50:14,443
How are my soon to be graduate boys
894
00:50:14,444 --> 00:50:16,479
Well mom
895
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:17,346
Great to see you son
896
00:50:17,347 --> 00:50:18,481
Great to see you sir
897
00:50:18,482 --> 00:50:21,984
Son, are you O.K.
898
00:50:21,985 --> 00:50:23,085
Ah, he's fine sir
899
00:50:23,086 --> 00:50:25,087
Mom, how are you
900
00:50:25,088 --> 00:50:26,222
Good Jake
901
00:50:26,223 --> 00:50:27,490
It's so good to see you
902
00:50:27,491 --> 00:50:30,292
Let's go inside so I can start
packing your clothes
903
00:50:30,293 --> 00:50:33,662
Well, I thought that you
and Dad would be here at 6 A.M.
904
00:50:33,663 --> 00:50:35,364
Like we talked about
on the phone Right Dad
905
00:50:35,365 --> 00:50:39,468
I thought I'd allow your mother a head start on
packing your clothes, moving stuff out of the room
906
00:50:39,469 --> 00:50:41,170
Wow, what a great surprise
907
00:50:41,171 --> 00:50:42,238
We can't
908
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:43,439
Well why not
909
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:44,407
Because
910
00:50:44,408 --> 00:50:49,512
Because we have a meeting
across campus in 20 minutes
911
00:50:49,513 --> 00:50:52,615
With a History Professor
912
00:50:52,616 --> 00:50:55,084
Really, which professor
913
00:50:55,085 --> 00:50:59,055
Ah, History Professor Hughes
914
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:00,322
Professor Hughes
915
00:51:00,323 --> 00:51:02,691
H-U-G-H-E-S
916
00:51:02,692 --> 00:51:04,193
Yeah, that's right
Do you know him
917
00:51:04,194 --> 00:51:06,262
Sounds familiar
918
00:51:06,263 --> 00:51:09,231
But I've never met a
History Professor Hughes before
919
00:51:09,232 --> 00:51:13,269
You weren't going to see the
professor looking like that were you
920
00:51:13,270 --> 00:51:17,139
No, no I thought we had left our
nice clothes out here on the porch
921
00:51:17,140 --> 00:51:19,041
Well, looks like we didn't
922
00:51:19,042 --> 00:51:21,010
We're just going to go inside
and throw something on
923
00:51:21,011 --> 00:51:22,311
I got a great idea
924
00:51:22,312 --> 00:51:25,481
Why don't you and Mom come over
the History House in 20 minutes
925
00:51:25,482 --> 00:51:27,583
You can sit in on the meeting with us
926
00:51:27,584 --> 00:51:30,553
Dude, we don't have no meeting
927
00:51:30,554 --> 00:51:32,612
Ah, ouch, stop
928
00:51:34,591 --> 00:51:36,225
We're just going to throw on some clothes
929
00:51:36,226 --> 00:51:37,460
We'll be back in 20 minutes sir
930
00:51:37,461 --> 00:51:40,429
Son, we'll just come inside
with you and wait until you change
931
00:51:40,430 --> 00:51:42,298
And then all of us will
go over there together
932
00:51:42,299 --> 00:51:46,235
Well, Dad I thought that Mom
might want to see the Flower Grove
933
00:51:46,236 --> 00:51:48,737
They are in full blossom this time of year
934
00:51:48,738 --> 00:51:50,005
They are absolutely beautiful
935
00:51:50,006 --> 00:51:53,642
Our college ranked number 1 best
flowers in the country
936
00:51:53,643 --> 00:51:55,444
It's going to be dark in 20 minutes
937
00:51:55,445 --> 00:51:57,313
Wouldn't you like to see them Mom
938
00:51:57,314 --> 00:51:58,981
Ah Jake
939
00:51:58,982 --> 00:52:01,317
It's so nice of you to think of me
940
00:52:01,318 --> 00:52:02,618
C'mon, let's go
941
00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:07,690
Alright then we'll see in the front entrance
of the History House in 20 minutes. Sharp
942
00:52:07,691 --> 00:52:08,953
Yes sir
943
00:52:10,994 --> 00:52:12,328
Fossil, I'm in way too deep
944
00:52:12,329 --> 00:52:15,998
I told my parents that we have a meeting with
Professor Hughes over at the History Office
945
00:52:15,999 --> 00:52:18,334
It's all a lie
How could they have showed up early
946
00:52:18,335 --> 00:52:20,436
Life as a college student
is finished, done, over
947
00:52:20,437 --> 00:52:22,638
Is Evan stoned
948
00:52:22,639 --> 00:52:24,940
You know I always knew I'd
have to deal with this moment
949
00:52:24,941 --> 00:52:28,344
But I feel like I'm at a funeral
only it's my funeral
950
00:52:28,345 --> 00:52:30,613
It's O.K. Jake
It's alright
951
00:52:30,614 --> 00:52:34,216
What are you consoling me
for your life is over to you moron
952
00:52:34,217 --> 00:52:38,554
Ah, it seems that your parents have
shown up a little earlier than expected
953
00:52:38,555 --> 00:52:39,722
What, my parents are here
954
00:52:39,723 --> 00:52:40,956
Yeah, snap out of it
955
00:52:40,957 --> 00:52:43,592
I had to cover for you because Mom
and Dad wanted to come into the house
956
00:52:43,593 --> 00:52:45,461
It smells like a God damn reggae party
957
00:52:45,462 --> 00:52:46,562
You screwed up dude
958
00:52:46,563 --> 00:52:48,297
I screwed up
What did you do?
What did I do?
959
00:52:48,298 --> 00:52:49,632
The only thing I did is save your ass
960
00:52:49,633 --> 00:52:50,633
Save my ass
961
00:52:50,634 --> 00:52:51,500
Yeah, save your ass
962
00:52:51,501 --> 00:52:56,605
No man, sounds like you
made things unnecessarily worse
963
00:52:56,606 --> 00:52:59,542
You know what, you don't even know
what lie I even told Mom and Dad
964
00:52:59,543 --> 00:53:02,645
And you were standing right there
you fucking moron - Enough!
965
00:53:02,646 --> 00:53:07,216
The two of you are going home from
college and never coming back again ever
966
00:53:07,217 --> 00:53:10,186
Now Jake, what did you tell your parents
967
00:53:10,187 --> 00:53:13,489
I told them we had a meeting with
Professor Hughes at the History Office
968
00:53:13,490 --> 00:53:16,051
Did you tell your parents what the
meeting was about. - No
969
00:53:16,059 --> 00:53:20,296
Alright, what were your plans
once you got to the History House
970
00:53:20,297 --> 00:53:21,597
I don't have any plans
971
00:53:21,598 --> 00:53:25,634
I figured I'd just go over there and tell them
that the meeting got cancelled or something
972
00:53:25,635 --> 00:53:29,605
Alright, well do either of your
parents know Professor Hughes
973
00:53:29,606 --> 00:53:30,539
Or know what he looks like
974
00:53:30,540 --> 00:53:32,341
No, there is no Professor Hughes
I made the name up
975
00:53:32,342 --> 00:53:33,943
Put the God damn fish bowl down
976
00:53:33,944 --> 00:53:38,480
And are there any pictures of Professor Humes
anywhere on the first floor of the History House
977
00:53:38,481 --> 00:53:41,584
No, are you listening
There is no Professor Hughes
978
00:53:41,585 --> 00:53:43,052
There is now
979
00:53:43,053 --> 00:53:44,687
Rule number 10
980
00:53:44,688 --> 00:53:46,722
When all else fails impersonate a professor
981
00:53:46,723 --> 00:53:48,290
Forcibly if needed
982
00:53:48,291 --> 00:53:51,527
Gentlemen, I am Professor Humes
983
00:53:51,528 --> 00:53:54,697
No, it's Hughes H-U Hughes
984
00:53:54,698 --> 00:53:55,698
Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever
985
00:53:55,699 --> 00:53:58,634
Alright Jake, Evan, I need you two
to head over to the History Office
986
00:53:58,635 --> 00:54:00,569
Hold them off for just a little bit
987
00:54:00,570 --> 00:54:02,071
I'm going to throw on a suit
988
00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:03,539
I'll get over there as quick as I can
989
00:54:03,540 --> 00:54:04,573
I'm going to help you out of this
990
00:54:04,574 --> 00:54:06,609
Get the fuck off me
991
00:54:06,610 --> 00:54:09,601
Get the fuck off me
Let's go
992
00:54:32,335 --> 00:54:33,700
Gotcha
What?
993
00:54:33,703 --> 00:54:36,372
Kerry what are you doing
994
00:54:36,373 --> 00:54:37,606
You're getting what you asked for
995
00:54:37,607 --> 00:54:38,941
You wanted to hang out with me tonight
996
00:54:38,942 --> 00:54:40,009
And now you got me
997
00:54:40,010 --> 00:54:41,577
Yeah tonight, later, um
998
00:54:41,578 --> 00:54:44,113
Can you please unlock me
999
00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:45,014
I don't have the key
1000
00:54:45,015 --> 00:54:46,181
It's in my dorm room
1001
00:54:46,182 --> 00:54:47,483
Where we should end up tonight
1002
00:54:47,484 --> 00:54:49,118
Ah, fuck, alright
1003
00:54:49,119 --> 00:54:50,486
Just, just come with me
1004
00:54:50,487 --> 00:54:53,615
Where are we going
1005
00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:57,326
You must be Mr. Tanner
1006
00:54:57,327 --> 00:54:59,595
It's a pleasure to meet you sir
Hi
1007
00:54:59,596 --> 00:55:02,898
I am obviously Professor Hughes
1008
00:55:02,899 --> 00:55:05,367
What the hell is going on here
Oh, how rude of me
1009
00:55:05,368 --> 00:55:07,336
Mr. and Mrs. Tanner this is Kerry
1010
00:55:07,337 --> 00:55:10,071
Kerry, this is Mr. and Mrs. Tanner
1011
00:55:10,173 --> 00:55:12,408
Nice to meet you dear
1012
00:55:12,409 --> 00:55:14,310
I love the shirt
1013
00:55:14,311 --> 00:55:17,946
You're probably wondering why
Kerry and I are handcuffed together
1014
00:55:17,947 --> 00:55:21,550
Well, um, we are handcuffed this
1015
00:55:21,551 --> 00:55:23,085
This is for charity
1016
00:55:23,119 --> 00:55:24,953
Charity
1017
00:55:24,954 --> 00:55:27,589
He's lying
I'm a whore
1018
00:55:27,590 --> 00:55:30,459
Um, theatre students
1019
00:55:30,460 --> 00:55:32,061
Great imagination
1020
00:55:32,062 --> 00:55:35,197
Well, what Kerry is trying to get at is
1021
00:55:35,198 --> 00:55:40,432
The school has decided to handcuff a professor
with a student to raise money for cancer
1022
00:55:40,570 --> 00:55:42,604
That's nice
1023
00:55:42,605 --> 00:55:47,710
Who in the world thought of the idea to
handcuff a female student with a male teacher
1024
00:55:47,711 --> 00:55:50,312
Well, we believe in outside the box
thinking here
1025
00:55:50,380 --> 00:55:54,116
Well as you both already know
1026
00:55:54,117 --> 00:55:56,452
Both Jake and Evan are special students
1027
00:55:56,453 --> 00:55:58,120
They're actually 2 of
the tops in my class
1028
00:55:58,121 --> 00:56:00,155
Must be a pathetic class
1029
00:56:00,156 --> 00:56:05,509
Pathetically challenging historical wise
1030
00:56:05,562 --> 00:56:11,066
Well, today I would like to offer both Jake and
Evan my coveted teaching assistant positions
1031
00:56:11,067 --> 00:56:12,334
Absolutely
1032
00:56:12,335 --> 00:56:15,270
Yeah, absolutely, yeah
1033
00:56:15,271 --> 00:56:18,739
Don't worry about it guys you earned it
1034
00:56:18,942 --> 00:56:21,276
I'm actually pretty excited that
you decided to accept the postions
1035
00:56:21,277 --> 00:56:24,046
Does anybody else need a drink
1036
00:56:24,047 --> 00:56:26,382
Now is not the time to drink
1037
00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:27,916
Just take a drink Greg
1038
00:56:27,917 --> 00:56:29,218
I don't want a drink
1039
00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:33,286
If you don't take a drink
I'll scream and scream and scream
1040
00:56:33,390 --> 00:56:37,559
Fine, I will take a drink
1041
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,361
Here
1042
00:56:39,362 --> 00:56:41,096
I don't want any
1043
00:56:41,097 --> 00:56:46,000
I'm not so sure that this is
the best thing for Jake and Evan to do
1044
00:56:46,002 --> 00:56:48,203
They were planning at working at a bank
1045
00:56:48,204 --> 00:56:50,973
Trust me Mom, Dad
1046
00:56:50,974 --> 00:56:54,977
There is nothing more Jake and I
want more than to be here next year
1047
00:56:54,978 --> 00:56:58,513
Well, I suppose
1048
00:56:58,515 --> 00:57:00,082
As long as it's what you want to do
1049
00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:03,152
I guess it sounds like a good opportunity
1050
00:57:03,153 --> 00:57:05,487
What are you going to do for money
1051
00:57:05,488 --> 00:57:06,555
Where are you going to stay
1052
00:57:06,556 --> 00:57:07,556
When do you start
1053
00:57:07,557 --> 00:57:12,961
Mr. Tanner, your sons will be begin preparing
my next year's curriculum as soon as this Monday
1054
00:57:12,962 --> 00:57:14,263
They'll be here all summer
1055
00:57:14,264 --> 00:57:15,497
All through next year
1056
00:57:15,498 --> 00:57:17,599
And as far as some of your other concerns
1057
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:19,499
They
1058
00:57:20,336 --> 00:57:24,273
As far as some of your other concerns
they can live on campus housing for free
1059
00:57:24,274 --> 00:57:25,574
Otherwise they can, Huh
1060
00:57:25,575 --> 00:57:31,004
They, there is going to be a
small fee of $1,500 per student
1061
00:57:31,014 --> 00:57:33,282
Just basically to lock in
the positions for next year
1062
00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:35,284
That will need to be taken care of today
1063
00:57:35,285 --> 00:57:38,320
Alright then
1064
00:57:38,321 --> 00:57:41,254
Who do I make the check out to
1065
00:57:41,324 --> 00:57:44,426
That's Greg Karanowski
1066
00:57:44,427 --> 00:57:46,195
K-A-R-A-N
1067
00:57:46,196 --> 00:57:48,163
I thought your last name was Hughes
1068
00:57:48,164 --> 00:57:50,165
Hughes is just a nickname
1069
00:57:50,166 --> 00:57:53,235
Ah, I'm so proud of you boys
1070
00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:55,270
Thank you Mom
Thanks a lot sir
1071
00:57:55,271 --> 00:57:58,340
Well, looks like you both
have busy schedules ahead of you
1072
00:57:58,341 --> 00:58:02,004
I guess Mom and I will head back
to the hotel and head back tomorrow
1073
00:58:04,447 --> 00:58:06,615
Thanks a lot Professor Hughes
1074
00:58:06,616 --> 00:58:08,949
And if you don't mind
1075
00:58:08,985 --> 00:58:11,053
Actually Kerry and I also need to leave
1076
00:58:11,054 --> 00:58:13,121
We're going to have sex
1077
00:58:13,122 --> 00:58:15,681
Oh, but it's for charity
1078
00:58:17,393 --> 00:58:18,360
I'll tell you
1079
00:58:18,361 --> 00:58:21,966
These professors could
never survive in the real world
1080
00:58:24,133 --> 00:58:26,535
Yes dude I can't believe that shit worked
1081
00:58:26,536 --> 00:58:27,636
Fossil you did it man
1082
00:58:27,637 --> 00:58:29,071
No problem boys
1083
00:58:29,072 --> 00:58:30,038
Do you guys mind
1084
00:58:30,039 --> 00:58:32,641
Oh, yeah, yeah we're leaving
1085
00:58:32,642 --> 00:58:34,910
Hey can we just grab that $3000 first
1086
00:58:34,911 --> 00:58:36,612
I'm sorry, what
1087
00:58:36,613 --> 00:58:40,516
That $3,000 that you got from our Dad
to pay for our room and board next year
1088
00:58:40,517 --> 00:58:41,617
For you
1089
00:58:41,618 --> 00:58:43,218
That's my 3 G's boys
1090
00:58:43,219 --> 00:58:45,621
Cha Ching
I'm coming back for year 9 bitches
1091
00:58:45,622 --> 00:58:46,522
Wait a second
1092
00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,623
You're stealing money from our Dad
1093
00:58:48,625 --> 00:58:52,394
You know now is really not a good time
to talk about this
1094
00:58:52,395 --> 00:58:55,063
You know I'm about ready to bring out the
ole Fossil bone if ya know what I'm saying
1095
00:58:55,064 --> 00:58:57,199
I know what you're saying
1096
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:58,962
Take another drink first
1097
00:59:00,103 --> 00:59:03,903
Don't let the door hit
your ass on the way out boys
1098
00:59:10,446 --> 00:59:11,947
It's 10 P.M.
1099
00:59:11,948 --> 00:59:13,048
Time for hell night
1100
00:59:13,049 --> 00:59:16,584
Tonight we welcome back
all of our past pledge masters
1101
00:59:16,586 --> 00:59:18,921
They'll help us activate our pledges
1102
00:59:18,922 --> 00:59:21,423
And bring them into the
brotherhood of Iota Gamma Chi
1103
00:59:21,424 --> 00:59:26,328
I think the old farts really
enjoy taking a break from their lives
1104
00:59:26,329 --> 00:59:28,956
To spend one more weekend in the
fraternity
1105
00:59:29,399 --> 00:59:34,000
I, I, I, Iota Gamma Chi
1106
00:59:34,203 --> 00:59:36,171
I, I, I, Iota
Stop
1107
00:59:36,172 --> 00:59:37,372
That's horrible
1108
00:59:37,373 --> 00:59:39,341
Pathetic
1109
00:59:39,342 --> 00:59:41,977
Let me show you guys
why you're pledging
1110
00:59:41,978 --> 00:59:47,811
1965 the year my father
pledged this fraternity
1111
00:59:47,984 --> 00:59:51,053
Pledges, how many pledges are there
1112
00:59:51,054 --> 00:59:52,154
7, sir
1113
00:59:52,155 --> 00:59:54,356
Pledges, how many actives are there
1114
00:59:54,357 --> 00:59:55,624
45, sir
1115
00:59:55,625 --> 01:00:01,305
Alumni, how many pledges are there
1116
01:00:02,498 --> 01:00:04,166
Do you hear that
1117
01:00:04,167 --> 01:00:06,234
I can actually here them
1118
01:00:06,235 --> 01:00:09,838
You punk little girls need to pick it up
1119
01:00:09,973 --> 01:00:11,607
You got that
1120
01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:17,379
Now boys you have the pleasure of meeting
one of the founding fathers of this fraternity
1121
01:00:17,380 --> 01:00:20,215
Sir, do you have anything to say sir
1122
01:00:20,216 --> 01:00:24,652
I fucked every one of the Golden Girls
1123
01:00:24,654 --> 01:00:26,688
Are you guys ready for hell night
1124
01:00:26,689 --> 01:00:28,590
Sir, yes, sir
What?
1125
01:00:28,658 --> 01:00:29,725
Sir, yes, sir
1126
01:00:29,726 --> 01:00:31,226
That's more like it
1127
01:00:31,227 --> 01:00:33,562
You guys are going to pay
1128
01:00:33,563 --> 01:00:35,860
The General is here
1129
01:00:37,967 --> 01:00:40,736
That's The General
1130
01:00:40,737 --> 01:00:43,138
Smart guy hey
1131
01:00:43,140 --> 01:00:45,207
Start with him
Now we're going to pledge
1132
01:00:45,242 --> 01:00:47,504
Let's go. Let's do this
1133
01:02:28,111 --> 01:02:30,645
Say it, say it
Say it mother fucker
1134
01:02:30,646 --> 01:02:34,081
Alpha Beta Gamma
Fuck you
1135
01:02:35,952 --> 01:02:38,153
You worthless scum have embarrassed me
1136
01:02:38,154 --> 01:02:39,421
The alumni are here
1137
01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:43,922
And they are asking me why have I turned
you into such worthless pieces of shit
1138
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,161
Why have I not turned you into Gammas
1139
01:02:46,162 --> 01:02:47,629
It's all my fault
1140
01:02:47,630 --> 01:02:49,164
No
1141
01:02:49,165 --> 01:02:50,432
Who will step up
1142
01:02:50,433 --> 01:02:54,035
Who will fill these shoes and turn you
into Gammas and turn you into real men
1143
01:02:54,036 --> 01:02:55,237
Who will
1144
01:02:55,238 --> 01:02:57,072
I've been to easy on you
1145
01:02:57,073 --> 01:02:58,273
I've been to nice
1146
01:02:58,274 --> 01:03:01,176
You dirty little dirt bags
1147
01:03:01,177 --> 01:03:03,478
I'll pledge your but cracks until they bleed
1148
01:03:03,479 --> 01:03:04,646
Do you understand me
1149
01:03:04,647 --> 01:03:06,047
Sir yes sir
1150
01:03:06,048 --> 01:03:07,115
Do you understand me
1151
01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:08,182
Sir yes sir
1152
01:03:08,184 --> 01:03:09,451
Pledges, how many pledges are there
1153
01:03:10,286 --> 01:03:11,586
Pledges, how many actives are there
1154
01:03:12,688 --> 01:03:14,022
Alumni, how many pledges are there
1155
01:03:14,657 --> 01:03:16,057
Alumni, how many actives are there
1156
01:03:30,940 --> 01:03:33,108
Hey Scooter get us some drinks
1157
01:03:33,109 --> 01:03:35,410
Scooter you have no date this evening
1158
01:03:35,411 --> 01:03:37,412
Therefore you are the drink wench
1159
01:03:37,413 --> 01:03:39,080
No problem
1160
01:03:39,081 --> 01:03:41,416
Dad, dad I'm done
1161
01:03:41,417 --> 01:03:44,519
It's over, I'm a Gamma Chi now
1162
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:46,955
So what's up ladies
1163
01:03:46,956 --> 01:03:49,447
Who would like to
try a brand new Gamma Chi
1164
01:03:52,328 --> 01:03:56,958
Alright Fossil some hundred proof vodka
and a laxative ought to loosen you up
1165
01:03:58,668 --> 01:04:02,001
Drink wench, hurry up
1166
01:04:02,972 --> 01:04:05,073
Hey, here's a double shot Fossil
1167
01:04:05,074 --> 01:04:07,769
And here's one for you Kerry
1168
01:04:09,212 --> 01:04:12,080
Fossil, you old son
of a bitch drink with me
1169
01:04:12,081 --> 01:04:14,640
Have a seat
1170
01:04:17,253 --> 01:04:20,745
I, I, I, Iota Gamma Chi
1171
01:04:23,693 --> 01:04:25,327
Hey, mines just water right
1172
01:04:25,328 --> 01:04:27,056
Yup
1173
01:04:30,266 --> 01:04:32,200
Kegger, come here man
1174
01:04:32,201 --> 01:04:33,235
You were the biggest dick
1175
01:04:33,236 --> 01:04:35,437
No, you made it
You were my favorite pledge
1176
01:04:35,438 --> 01:04:37,005
I'm going to be Pledge Master one day
1177
01:04:37,006 --> 01:04:38,606
I want to be just like you
Yeah, make me proud
1178
01:04:38,674 --> 01:04:39,674
You're my fucking hero
1179
01:04:39,675 --> 01:04:40,675
Make me proud
1180
01:04:40,676 --> 01:04:42,973
Hey everybody the drink wench is back
1181
01:04:44,213 --> 01:04:45,080
Head to head
1182
01:04:45,081 --> 01:04:45,947
Shot for shot
1183
01:04:45,948 --> 01:04:48,149
I'm taking you on all night grandpa
1184
01:04:48,150 --> 01:04:50,518
Kegger this is not a hot dog eating contest
1185
01:04:50,519 --> 01:04:51,953
This is alcohol
1186
01:04:51,954 --> 01:04:53,488
You went down this morning
1187
01:04:53,489 --> 01:04:54,556
You're going down again tonight
1188
01:04:54,557 --> 01:04:58,359
I, I, I, Iota Gamma Chi
1189
01:05:01,364 --> 01:05:04,731
I, I, I, Iota Gamma Chi
1190
01:05:42,405 --> 01:05:43,438
You want to dance
1191
01:05:43,439 --> 01:05:44,372
What
1192
01:05:44,373 --> 01:05:47,008
I want to get in your pants
1193
01:05:47,009 --> 01:05:49,670
Oh, yeah, O.K.
1194
01:06:11,667 --> 01:06:14,897
I love this boys
1195
01:06:21,210 --> 01:06:22,544
We're in this really deep bro'
1196
01:06:22,545 --> 01:06:24,446
I know
1197
01:06:24,447 --> 01:06:27,582
Do you miss this much
1198
01:06:27,583 --> 01:06:29,150
What's that
1199
01:06:29,151 --> 01:06:32,153
This place, college, the fraternity
1200
01:06:32,154 --> 01:06:37,121
No, I mean don't get me wrong
I had a great time when I was here
1201
01:06:37,193 --> 01:06:40,195
But, I'm pretty happy with my life
1202
01:06:40,196 --> 01:06:42,564
What about the girls
1203
01:06:42,565 --> 01:06:47,700
Ah yeah sure, I mean, sleeping
with a different co-ed every weekend
1204
01:06:47,703 --> 01:06:48,636
It has got its appeal
1205
01:06:48,637 --> 01:06:51,239
But I have a beautiful wife
1206
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,074
Couple of great kids
1207
01:06:53,075 --> 01:06:57,212
So, overall, no I don't miss it
1208
01:06:57,213 --> 01:07:00,315
You guys are graduating tomorrow right
1209
01:07:00,316 --> 01:07:03,018
Yeah, well, no
1210
01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:04,919
I mean we were supposed but
1211
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:06,921
I think we figured out a way to stay
1212
01:07:06,922 --> 01:07:09,257
Stay and do what
1213
01:07:09,258 --> 01:07:13,023
Stay, live in the frat and party
1214
01:07:13,562 --> 01:07:16,164
I'm putting you into retirement grandpa
1215
01:07:16,165 --> 01:07:18,967
If you want to quit just ask for mercy
1216
01:07:18,968 --> 01:07:22,369
Oh, no c'mon Greg you can do it, drink
1217
01:07:26,375 --> 01:07:29,144
You know Greg, Fossil,
or whatever you call him
1218
01:07:29,145 --> 01:07:30,979
You think he's the king of campus
1219
01:07:30,980 --> 01:07:34,382
I bet if you'd ask most of the students
here they would think that he is a joke
1220
01:07:34,383 --> 01:07:37,018
He's a joke to the alumni
1221
01:07:37,019 --> 01:07:39,554
You know I pledged with him
1222
01:07:39,555 --> 01:07:42,057
He's cool to your face
1223
01:07:42,058 --> 01:07:45,160
But you turnaround and
he'll stab you in the back
1224
01:07:45,161 --> 01:07:48,163
Your right
1225
01:07:48,164 --> 01:07:50,565
He screwed over Scooter today
1226
01:07:50,566 --> 01:07:53,601
He took $3,000 from our Dad
1227
01:07:53,602 --> 01:07:55,937
I really feel sorry for the guy
1228
01:07:55,938 --> 01:07:57,372
He's stuck
1229
01:07:57,373 --> 01:08:01,242
He has no idea which direction
to take his life
1230
01:08:01,243 --> 01:08:05,547
And every year that goes by he
just becomes more and more pathetic
1231
01:08:05,548 --> 01:08:07,606
And he knows it
1232
01:08:07,983 --> 01:08:09,117
Oh my God
1233
01:08:09,118 --> 01:08:12,420
Wait Kegger, you were
just drinking water like me right
1234
01:08:12,421 --> 01:08:16,391
No, hundred proof vodka all night
1235
01:08:16,392 --> 01:08:19,486
I had to beat him fair and square
1236
01:08:23,032 --> 01:08:25,333
You guys want to know
what the secret to life is
1237
01:08:25,334 --> 01:08:26,858
What's that
1238
01:08:28,170 --> 01:08:30,572
Make a career out of something you love
1239
01:08:30,573 --> 01:08:33,408
Something you have passion for man
1240
01:08:33,409 --> 01:08:35,643
So what do you do
1241
01:08:35,644 --> 01:08:37,946
Me, I love sports
1242
01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:40,582
I majored in sports
management when I was here
1243
01:08:40,583 --> 01:08:43,118
And then it was off to major league soccer
1244
01:08:43,119 --> 01:08:47,155
6 months ago I bought an interest
in the Chicago Fire soccer team
1245
01:08:47,156 --> 01:08:49,190
You serious
The Fire's our favorite team
1246
01:08:49,191 --> 01:08:50,492
Evan and I play soccer
1247
01:08:50,493 --> 01:08:54,019
We've been team captains for
the past 3 years, all conference
1248
01:08:56,065 --> 01:08:57,165
I'll tell you what
1249
01:08:57,166 --> 01:08:58,566
If you guys are interested
1250
01:08:58,567 --> 01:09:00,935
Why don't you guys come by the stadium
1251
01:09:00,936 --> 01:09:02,237
Work out with the team
1252
01:09:02,238 --> 01:09:05,340
Give me a call tomorrow and
I'll put you in touch with some coaches
1253
01:09:05,341 --> 01:09:08,143
Dude, we'll definitely call you
1254
01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:10,245
Hey man, I'm still a Gamma
1255
01:09:10,246 --> 01:09:12,380
And I'll do anything to help out a brother
1256
01:09:12,381 --> 01:09:16,184
Well I got to get back to the wife
1257
01:09:16,185 --> 01:09:17,218
You guys take it easy
1258
01:09:17,219 --> 01:09:18,586
Thanks for letting me stop by
1259
01:09:18,587 --> 01:09:19,883
Anytime
1260
01:09:21,056 --> 01:09:22,223
Oh God
1261
01:09:22,224 --> 01:09:25,955
Here, I got the key
1262
01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:30,954
You all right
Thank you
1263
01:09:32,134 --> 01:09:34,124
We did it
1264
01:09:47,583 --> 01:09:50,677
Let's get out of here
1265
01:09:52,354 --> 01:09:56,381
Here's your hot dog eating contest bitch
1266
01:10:00,129 --> 01:10:01,429
Ladies, you want to get us some beers
1267
01:10:01,430 --> 01:10:06,367
Yeah buddy, those chicks are hot
1268
01:10:06,368 --> 01:10:09,671
What's up Winston, Brandon
1269
01:10:09,672 --> 01:10:10,505
What's up brothers
How are you doing
1270
01:10:10,506 --> 01:10:14,242
Hey dude it turns out that
you're not that smart at history
1271
01:10:14,243 --> 01:10:16,311
Actually man I'm plenty smart
1272
01:10:16,312 --> 01:10:20,215
I failed that test on
purpose and so did Brandon here man
1273
01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:21,716
What the hell are you talking about
1274
01:10:21,717 --> 01:10:23,484
We don't want to graduate
1275
01:10:23,485 --> 01:10:26,421
Everyone knows that if
you fail your last final
1276
01:10:26,422 --> 01:10:29,190
That your parents will pay to
send you back for another semester
1277
01:10:29,191 --> 01:10:33,328
Bro' my parents paid for 4 full years of tuition
1278
01:10:33,329 --> 01:10:35,163
Do you really think that
they are going to let me come
1279
01:10:35,164 --> 01:10:38,766
3 credits shy of graduation and call it quits
1280
01:10:38,767 --> 01:10:41,002
Not a chance man
1281
01:10:41,003 --> 01:10:43,638
Dude I can't believe these
2 fuckers didn't know that
1282
01:10:43,639 --> 01:10:45,540
Bro' we're coming back for another year
1283
01:10:45,541 --> 01:10:46,574
5th year baby
1284
01:10:46,575 --> 01:10:47,742
5th year
1285
01:10:47,743 --> 01:10:49,577
See you boys later
1286
01:10:49,578 --> 01:10:53,070
Shmucks
1287
01:10:58,287 --> 01:10:59,654
Ah, he shit himself
1288
01:10:59,655 --> 01:11:01,679
What a loser
1289
01:11:07,596 --> 01:11:12,200
Hello, who the hell is this
in the middle of the black night
1290
01:11:12,201 --> 01:11:14,702
Yes sir it's me, and Evan's here to
1291
01:11:14,703 --> 01:11:17,071
Harold, Harold who is it
1292
01:11:17,072 --> 01:11:18,573
Nobody, go back to sleep
1293
01:11:18,574 --> 01:11:21,643
Jake, I've been thinking
1294
01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:25,680
I'm going to look into that crackpot professor's
credentials first thing in the morning
1295
01:11:25,681 --> 01:11:27,949
Actually Dad, don't even worry about it
1296
01:11:27,950 --> 01:11:31,085
Evan and I don't want to
become teacher's assistants anyway
1297
01:11:31,086 --> 01:11:35,189
Good, now let me get off the damn
telephone and let me go back to bed
1298
01:11:35,190 --> 01:11:36,658
Harold, language
1299
01:11:36,659 --> 01:11:40,061
Sir, we have a tryout with a
major league soccer team next week
1300
01:11:40,062 --> 01:11:41,296
Soccer
1301
01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:45,166
Now listen that's enough games
at 3:00 in the morning
1302
01:11:45,167 --> 01:11:48,002
I'm picking you and your
idiot brother up at 6 A.M.
1303
01:11:48,003 --> 01:11:49,237
And that's the end of it
1304
01:11:49,238 --> 01:11:51,973
No sir, we're going our
own way and that's the end of it
1305
01:11:51,974 --> 01:11:53,441
So make sure that you cancel that check
1306
01:11:53,442 --> 01:11:55,009
You're going your own way
1307
01:11:55,010 --> 01:11:57,045
Yes sir
1308
01:11:57,046 --> 01:12:01,215
You know this is the
first time you ever stood up to me
1309
01:12:01,216 --> 01:12:03,484
Finally grew up a little bit huh
1310
01:12:03,485 --> 01:12:07,955
Well I guess the banking
business isn't going anywhere
1311
01:12:07,956 --> 01:12:10,391
You give your mother a call
tomorrow afternoon
1312
01:12:10,392 --> 01:12:11,259
We will
1313
01:12:11,260 --> 01:12:12,193
And Jake
1314
01:12:12,194 --> 01:12:13,594
Sir
1315
01:12:13,595 --> 01:12:16,998
You give me a call after
those soccer tryouts
1316
01:12:16,999 --> 01:12:19,667
If you put your mind to it you can do it
1317
01:12:19,668 --> 01:12:21,829
You and Evan both
1318
01:12:26,375 --> 01:12:28,109
He actually took it alright
1319
01:12:28,110 --> 01:12:30,211
Hey what time is it
1320
01:12:30,212 --> 01:12:31,379
It's about 3 A.M.
1321
01:12:31,380 --> 01:12:33,047
You think there's any chicks downstairs
1322
01:12:33,048 --> 01:12:34,449
A couple drunk ones
1323
01:12:34,450 --> 01:12:35,316
Works for me
1324
01:12:35,317 --> 01:12:36,579
Me too
1325
01:12:37,619 --> 01:12:39,586
Idiot kids
1326
01:12:51,433 --> 01:12:53,468
You can have me if you want me
1327
01:12:53,469 --> 01:12:56,704
I'm a little nervous
1328
01:12:56,705 --> 01:12:59,196
It will come naturally
1329
01:13:19,361 --> 01:13:23,456
I'm a man
1330
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:30,800
Subtitles: Arigon
1331
01:13:37,279 --> 01:13:39,380
Hey
1332
01:13:39,381 --> 01:13:42,717
Evan, what's up man
1333
01:13:42,718 --> 01:13:44,419
I was thinking man
1334
01:13:44,420 --> 01:13:49,290
We should have one more
game while we're still in college
1335
01:13:49,291 --> 01:13:53,161
Alright
1336
01:13:53,162 --> 01:13:55,596
Let's go
1337
01:13:59,735 --> 01:14:00,568
So that's it
1338
01:14:00,569 --> 01:14:01,702
That's our story
1339
01:14:01,703 --> 01:14:04,639
I'd like to tell you that we went on
1340
01:14:04,640 --> 01:14:07,141
Played major league soccer in Chicago
1341
01:14:07,142 --> 01:14:08,609
Maybe we'll make the team
1342
01:14:08,610 --> 01:14:09,977
Maybe we won't
1343
01:14:09,978 --> 01:14:12,413
I don't know what's going to happen next
1344
01:14:12,414 --> 01:14:15,016
But I'll tell you this much
1345
01:14:15,017 --> 01:14:16,184
Whatever happens
1346
01:14:16,185 --> 01:14:18,352
We'll never end up like Fossil
1347
01:14:18,353 --> 01:14:20,980
With a dick in our mouths
1348
01:14:37,639 --> 01:14:39,140
Hey, good luck with those soccer tryouts
1349
01:14:39,141 --> 01:14:40,575
I know you'll do a good job
1350
01:14:40,576 --> 01:14:42,907
I hope so, I'm really excited
1351
01:14:47,182 --> 01:14:49,172
Ah, good God
1352
01:14:51,587 --> 01:14:53,020
Hey, by the way
1353
01:14:53,021 --> 01:14:55,289
Your grandma's dead
1354
01:14:55,290 --> 01:14:56,848
No
99924
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