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1
-1:59:44,968 --> -1:59:46,668
You're watching the simpsons.
2
-1:59:46,670 --> -1:59:49,371
You know your life sucks.
Just get drunk
like you always do.
3
-1:59:49,373 --> -1:59:50,972
Catch all-new episodes sundays.
4
-1:59:50,974 --> -1:59:52,807
And check outour other fox programs,
5
-1:59:52,809 --> -1:59:55,610
Brooklyn nine-nine,
bob's burgers and family guy.
6
-1:59:55,612 --> -1:59:58,513
What is this,
and how can i make the rest
of my life about it?
7
-1:59:58,515 --> -1:59:59,748
Only on fox.
8
00:00:02,686 --> 00:00:05,186
(beatboxing)
9
00:00:05,188 --> 00:00:06,621
(tires screeching)
10
00:00:08,625 --> 00:00:10,058
D'oh!
11
00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:10,892
(tires screeching)
12
00:00:10,894 --> 00:00:12,427
(grunts)
13
00:00:13,397 --> 00:00:14,529
All:
Huh?
14
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,233
D'oh!
15
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:20,201
(homer groans)
16
00:00:20,203 --> 00:00:21,669
No parking spots?
17
00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:23,171
Lousy butt-kissers,
18
00:00:23,173 --> 00:00:24,906
Coming in before noon,
19
00:00:24,908 --> 00:00:28,076
Eating donuts that are
rightfully mine.
20
00:00:28,912 --> 00:00:30,078
Oh, oh, oh!
21
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,814
D'oh!
Stupid smart car.
22
00:00:32,816 --> 00:00:34,082
(tires screech)
23
00:00:34,084 --> 00:00:37,152
D'oh! Spot-hogging s.U.V.
24
00:00:37,154 --> 00:00:38,720
(tires screech)
25
00:00:38,722 --> 00:00:41,389
D'oh! Inconvenient sinkhole.
26
00:00:41,391 --> 00:00:42,590
(tires screech)
27
00:00:42,592 --> 00:00:44,993
D'oh! Mandatory credit.
28
00:00:44,995 --> 00:00:46,261
(tires screech)
29
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:47,996
D'oh! "developed by"?
30
00:00:47,998 --> 00:00:50,065
What does that even mean?
31
00:00:50,067 --> 00:00:52,067
(gasps)
it's empty!
32
00:00:52,069 --> 00:00:53,535
Homer, no!
33
00:00:53,537 --> 00:00:54,936
That's burns' spot.
34
00:00:54,938 --> 00:00:56,404
How could you miss
that sign?
35
00:00:56,406 --> 00:00:58,606
Oof. The last guy
that parked there is now a...
36
00:00:58,608 --> 00:00:59,808
(quietly):
Speed bump.
37
00:01:01,044 --> 00:01:02,510
(muffled):
Slow down!
38
00:01:02,512 --> 00:01:04,245
Guys, be cool.
39
00:01:04,247 --> 00:01:06,114
Burns'll never know.
40
00:01:06,116 --> 00:01:09,417
He's on vacation this week with
his weirdo hunting buddies.
41
00:01:12,589 --> 00:01:15,790
Fellow members of the order of
the knights of saint caucasian,
42
00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:18,026
We've got a lot of things
to kill today, so...
43
00:01:18,028 --> 00:01:20,428
Release the sedated quail.
44
00:01:25,035 --> 00:01:27,035
(gun clicks)
45
00:01:27,037 --> 00:01:29,304
How am i supposed to hunt it
if it can move?
46
00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:35,944
Try it now, davy crockett!
47
00:01:36,947 --> 00:01:40,048
Damn you, surface tension...
48
00:01:40,050 --> 00:01:42,150
Wait a minute.
49
00:01:42,152 --> 00:01:45,453
If i can park
in mr. Burns' space,
50
00:01:45,455 --> 00:01:47,055
I can live his whole life!
51
00:01:47,057 --> 00:01:49,624
Quickly now,
before i think it through!
52
00:01:49,626 --> 00:01:52,227
(chuckling)
53
00:01:52,229 --> 00:01:54,162
♪ mr. Big stuff ♪
54
00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:56,898
♪ who do you think you are ♪
55
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,800
♪ mr. Big stuff ♪
56
00:01:58,802 --> 00:02:04,105
♪ you're never gonna
get my love ♪
57
00:02:04,107 --> 00:02:08,076
♪ now because you wear
all those fancy clothes ♪
58
00:02:08,078 --> 00:02:11,312
♪ oh, yeah ♪
♪ and have a big fine car ♪
59
00:02:11,314 --> 00:02:12,981
♪ oh, yes you do now ♪
60
00:02:12,983 --> 00:02:14,949
♪ do you think i can afford... ♪
61
00:02:14,951 --> 00:02:18,019
(german accent): Come on along,
and sing our tiki song.
62
00:02:18,021 --> 00:02:20,588
(latino accent): And everyone
will take their turns.
63
00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:22,991
(jamaican accent): To
celebrate a man who's great.
64
00:02:22,993 --> 00:02:27,095
The wiki-wakka liki-
lakka magic mr. Burns!
65
00:02:27,097 --> 00:02:29,264
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
66
00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:30,498
♪ mr. Burns ♪
67
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,333
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
68
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:33,535
♪ mr. Burns ♪
69
00:02:33,537 --> 00:02:35,303
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
70
00:02:35,305 --> 00:02:36,638
♪ mr. Burns ♪
71
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,039
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
72
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:39,374
♪ mr. Burns... ♪
73
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:42,377
♪ mr. Big stuff ♪
74
00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:45,113
♪ who do you think you are? ♪
75
00:02:45,115 --> 00:02:47,382
♪ mr. Big stuff ♪
76
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,284
♪ you're never gonna
get my love... ♪
77
00:02:49,286 --> 00:02:51,553
(quietly): Simpson lines up
his hitty stick
78
00:02:51,555 --> 00:02:55,123
And gets ready to clobber
the dimpled round-o.
79
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:57,492
He's calling the signals.
80
00:02:57,494 --> 00:02:59,494
(yelling):
Omaha! 35!
81
00:02:59,496 --> 00:03:01,796
Hut! Hut!
Simpson!
82
00:03:01,798 --> 00:03:03,231
(shrieks)
83
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:06,267
Incoming!
84
00:03:08,305 --> 00:03:10,572
(yelling): There's a lightbulb
out on level p-2!
85
00:03:10,574 --> 00:03:12,240
Oh, good lord.
86
00:03:12,242 --> 00:03:14,809
The trapdoor is under
renovation. It's not safe!
87
00:03:14,811 --> 00:03:16,711
(air rushing past)
88
00:03:16,713 --> 00:03:18,980
(grunting)
89
00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:22,550
Mm-hmm.
90
00:03:22,552 --> 00:03:23,618
Homer:
Mosaic!
91
00:03:25,989 --> 00:03:26,988
(screaming)
92
00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:27,989
Congratulations.
93
00:03:27,991 --> 00:03:29,257
You're halfway down.
94
00:03:29,259 --> 00:03:30,325
(electric crackle)
95
00:03:32,596 --> 00:03:33,661
What the...?
96
00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:38,366
(screaming)
97
00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:39,434
Ow!
98
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:42,604
I'm drowning in cement!
99
00:03:42,606 --> 00:03:45,206
Uh, it's actually
concrete.
Woo hoo!
100
00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:47,208
Of which cement
is an ingredient.
101
00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:50,011
(yells):
No!
102
00:03:50,013 --> 00:03:52,580
(rhythmic yelling)
103
00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:54,182
(moans)
104
00:03:54,184 --> 00:03:55,950
(marge humming)
hmm?
105
00:03:55,952 --> 00:03:58,720
Marge:
Perfect.
106
00:03:58,722 --> 00:04:00,388
(chuckles)
marge,
107
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:02,223
You've thought
of everything.
108
00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:04,525
Except for one
nagging detail.
109
00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:07,462
Did i ever tell you about the
time i was in a big cast?
110
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:10,932
It was the shelbyville players
production of pippin.
111
00:04:10,934 --> 00:04:12,900
Don't worry, homie.
Grampa: I went from player
112
00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:15,403
To ticket taker
in one performance!
113
00:04:15,405 --> 00:04:17,238
There's two ways of...
114
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,307
(seagulls chirping
and tide rolling)
115
00:04:28,985 --> 00:04:31,052
You are in my seat.
116
00:04:31,054 --> 00:04:32,720
Fight! Fight! Fight!
117
00:04:32,722 --> 00:04:35,089
Asthma, glasses, asthma!
118
00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:36,724
(grunts)
119
00:04:36,726 --> 00:04:39,627
(cheering, yelling)
120
00:04:39,629 --> 00:04:41,829
Oh. There's too much violence
121
00:04:41,831 --> 00:04:43,731
In rearview mirrors these days.
122
00:04:47,737 --> 00:04:49,137
Homer:
Hey, boy,
123
00:04:49,139 --> 00:04:50,505
Want to sign
your old man's cast?
124
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:53,408
No problemo.
125
00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:54,409
(marker squeaking)
126
00:04:54,411 --> 00:04:55,810
What does it say?
127
00:04:55,812 --> 00:04:57,145
Don't worry about it.
128
00:04:57,147 --> 00:04:58,279
What did you write?
129
00:04:58,281 --> 00:04:59,914
Sorry. That's between me
130
00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:01,149
And everyone who sees it.
131
00:05:01,151 --> 00:05:02,950
Homer:
I need to know!
Hmm.
132
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:05,820
Begins with f and ends in c-k.
133
00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:06,988
Why you little!
134
00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:09,123
(grunting, groaning)
135
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:10,425
(chuckles)
136
00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:13,828
Homer:
Tell me!
137
00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:15,163
Never!
138
00:05:15,165 --> 00:05:16,531
(grunting)
139
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,932
(moans)
140
00:05:17,934 --> 00:05:20,001
(quickly):
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
141
00:05:20,003 --> 00:05:21,135
Woo hoo!
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
142
00:05:21,137 --> 00:05:22,136
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
143
00:05:22,138 --> 00:05:23,371
Woo hoo! D'oh! D'oh!
144
00:05:23,373 --> 00:05:25,373
(slowing down):
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
145
00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:26,507
D'oh...
146
00:05:26,509 --> 00:05:27,842
Woo hoo!
147
00:05:30,213 --> 00:05:31,713
Marge:
Thanks, partner.
148
00:05:31,715 --> 00:05:34,549
We've balled up
all the 13 gauge alpaca.
149
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:37,018
Now maybe there's
something fun we can do?
150
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:39,153
Sure is. A puzzle.
151
00:05:39,155 --> 00:05:40,521
"foggy day in berlin."
152
00:05:40,523 --> 00:05:42,724
5,000 pieces.
153
00:05:42,726 --> 00:05:44,058
Hmm...
154
00:05:45,795 --> 00:05:48,029
(german accent):
Homer, complete the puzzle!
155
00:05:48,031 --> 00:05:49,063
I'm a married man!
156
00:05:49,065 --> 00:05:50,565
Fine. If you need me,
157
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,533
I'll be in your schpankenbank.
158
00:05:52,535 --> 00:05:56,404
Female singer:
♪ we'll meet again ♪
159
00:05:56,406 --> 00:05:59,540
Marge, i don't think
we should do this puzzle.
160
00:05:59,542 --> 00:06:02,343
I know. You can't
pick up the pieces.
161
00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:05,847
That's why i've devised
a grid system.
162
00:06:05,849 --> 00:06:08,750
Huh? I'll hold up a piece,
and you call out the number
163
00:06:08,752 --> 00:06:11,552
And letter of
the corresponding grid square.
164
00:06:11,554 --> 00:06:12,987
Uh... I don't know.
165
00:06:12,989 --> 00:06:14,088
Q 15?
166
00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:16,824
Sweetie, it's a side piece.
167
00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:18,426
Q 15's in the middle.
168
00:06:18,428 --> 00:06:20,061
Right. Q 15 is in the middle.
169
00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:22,263
Nothing more fun than rules.
170
00:06:22,265 --> 00:06:25,099
I'll make some tea
to help you think.
171
00:06:25,101 --> 00:06:27,835
Oh, i hate being
immobile and numb.
172
00:06:27,837 --> 00:06:29,937
If only i was free to move.
173
00:06:32,409 --> 00:06:33,708
(moans)
174
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:35,109
If only.
175
00:06:35,111 --> 00:06:37,111
(excited chatter)
176
00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:39,947
It's never pleasant to see
this kind of activity, lisa.
177
00:06:39,949 --> 00:06:42,717
Particularly on a cell phone
that is so much nicer
178
00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:44,185
Than the one i own.
179
00:06:47,257 --> 00:06:51,058
All the fighting seems to start
with who sits where on the bus.
180
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,961
Um, lisa. You seem to have a
handle on the bus problem.
181
00:06:53,963 --> 00:06:57,031
Why don't you tackle it?
But don't think i won't help.
182
00:06:57,033 --> 00:06:58,633
I'm providing you with a sash.
183
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,067
Skinner!
184
00:07:00,069 --> 00:07:02,270
You are asking
a six-year-old girl
185
00:07:02,272 --> 00:07:04,372
To fix this school's problems.
186
00:07:04,374 --> 00:07:05,773
I'm eight.
187
00:07:05,775 --> 00:07:07,008
Oh, carry on.
188
00:07:08,378 --> 00:07:10,077
What do you mean,
there's a legal issue
189
00:07:10,079 --> 00:07:11,446
With my trapdoor?
190
00:07:11,448 --> 00:07:13,147
And, uh, as you explain,
191
00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:15,383
Please take two steps back.
192
00:07:15,385 --> 00:07:17,552
The old trapdoor
was perfectly legal.
193
00:07:17,554 --> 00:07:20,054
It was grandfathered in
under the reagan-era code.
194
00:07:20,056 --> 00:07:22,056
But once you start
renovating it,
195
00:07:22,058 --> 00:07:24,926
It has to brought up
to modern standards.
196
00:07:24,928 --> 00:07:27,762
Mm. And it has to be
handicap accessible.
197
00:07:27,764 --> 00:07:29,831
A wheelchair would never fall
through the current opening.
198
00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:31,299
(chuckling): Oh!
But that's not a problem!
199
00:07:31,301 --> 00:07:33,100
I refuse to hire
the handicapped.
200
00:07:33,102 --> 00:07:34,335
That's another issue.
201
00:07:34,337 --> 00:07:37,138
But for now, we have
left ourselves open
202
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:39,640
To a lawsuit by homer simpson.
203
00:07:39,642 --> 00:07:42,310
Fine. Smithers, go see
this simpson character
204
00:07:42,312 --> 00:07:44,679
And trick him into signing
a waiver of liability.
205
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,981
I'll discuss things
with the foreman.
206
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:51,419
(yelling):
Enrique, mas grande la puerta!
207
00:07:51,421 --> 00:07:52,820
(homer moans)
208
00:07:52,822 --> 00:07:55,690
Look, homie! We got
three pieces together.
209
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,124
That's a good day's work!
210
00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:59,160
Why don't we do
one of maggie's puzzles?
211
00:07:59,162 --> 00:08:02,663
Cow goes in the cow-shaped hole,
boom. Next case.
212
00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:05,533
Hmm, i thought the one good
thing about you hurting yourself
213
00:08:05,535 --> 00:08:07,935
Was that we could spend
more time together.
214
00:08:07,937 --> 00:08:08,936
You did?
215
00:08:08,938 --> 00:08:09,937
Didn't you?
216
00:08:09,939 --> 00:08:12,540
Oh yeah, sure, of course.
217
00:08:12,542 --> 00:08:15,543
Only a fool
would admit otherwise.
218
00:08:15,545 --> 00:08:16,644
Mm....
219
00:08:16,646 --> 00:08:17,712
(doorbell rings)
220
00:08:18,648 --> 00:08:19,947
(sighs)
221
00:08:19,949 --> 00:08:21,349
(sighs)
222
00:08:21,351 --> 00:08:24,986
Mr. Smithers! Come in, come in.
223
00:08:24,988 --> 00:08:26,988
(chuckling): Oh! Well,
there's our tangle-foot!
224
00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:28,456
Already on the mend.
225
00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:29,824
Yeah, right.
226
00:08:29,826 --> 00:08:30,958
They say it'll be three months
227
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,960
Before i can scratch my ass.
228
00:08:32,962 --> 00:08:34,996
Six before i can
really go at it.
229
00:08:34,998 --> 00:08:37,064
Listen, i-i don't want
to take up your time.
230
00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:39,133
I just need homer's signature
on a couple of things.
231
00:08:39,135 --> 00:08:42,003
First, a get well
card to himself.
232
00:08:42,005 --> 00:08:43,971
And what else does
he need to sign?
233
00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:45,072
Oh, a... (coughing)
234
00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:46,407
...Waiver of liability.
235
00:08:47,844 --> 00:08:49,210
I know, i know.
236
00:08:49,212 --> 00:08:51,045
There are solid reasons to sue.
237
00:08:51,047 --> 00:08:53,047
But do you really want
to fill your life
238
00:08:53,049 --> 00:08:56,350
With parasitic attorneys
with get-rich-quick schemes?
239
00:08:56,352 --> 00:08:58,219
Schemes? Rich? Quick?
240
00:08:58,221 --> 00:09:00,321
Parasitic? Woo hoo!
241
00:09:00,323 --> 00:09:03,057
How could i have forgotten
to sue mr. Burns?
242
00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:04,892
That's how you get rich
in america.
243
00:09:04,894 --> 00:09:07,094
Sue s. A! Sue s. A!
244
00:09:07,096 --> 00:09:09,163
Oh, lord.
245
00:09:09,165 --> 00:09:11,666
Finally, a chance to use this.
246
00:09:11,668 --> 00:09:15,903
It was designed ironically,
but i would die for it.
247
00:09:21,244 --> 00:09:23,044
Are you home during the day
because you were injured
248
00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:25,913
At work, school, museum, church,
iraq, elevator plummet,
249
00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:28,516
Uneven sidewalk, hit by foul
ball, hit by fair ball,
250
00:09:28,518 --> 00:09:30,618
Or iditarod viewing party?
251
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,219
The first one!
The first one you said!
252
00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:34,021
Call me, maxwell flinch,
253
00:09:34,023 --> 00:09:37,725
At 555-555-5555.
254
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,427
Five, five, five...
255
00:09:39,429 --> 00:09:41,596
Wait, what was the number
after the first three fives,
256
00:09:41,598 --> 00:09:43,297
But before the last six fives?
257
00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:45,066
Uh, simpson, before
you do anything rash,
258
00:09:45,068 --> 00:09:47,902
Mr. Burns wanted you
to enjoy this get-well cake.
259
00:09:47,904 --> 00:09:50,037
What's that writing on top?
Oh!
260
00:09:50,039 --> 00:09:52,473
It's just, uh,
strawberry boilerplate
261
00:09:52,475 --> 00:09:54,075
Absolving us of liability.
262
00:09:54,077 --> 00:09:56,043
Now just bite here, here, here,
263
00:09:56,045 --> 00:09:58,079
Nibble here, lick here...
264
00:09:58,081 --> 00:10:00,414
Uh, your wife needs
to eat this cupcake...
265
00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:03,084
Sir, you cannot
bribe me with cake.
266
00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:06,554
Because i just ate several pies.
267
00:10:06,556 --> 00:10:08,589
Hello, mr. Smithers.
268
00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:10,091
I see you haven't given up.
269
00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:11,726
(sighing)
270
00:10:11,728 --> 00:10:14,095
Just enjoy the cake.
As long as you don't eat it
271
00:10:14,097 --> 00:10:16,097
In front of a notary
public, you're fine.
272
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:17,632
I'm a notary public.
273
00:10:17,634 --> 00:10:20,334
You gave your ink pad to maggie.
274
00:10:22,639 --> 00:10:25,439
(moans)
i'll, um, i'll walk out
with you.
275
00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:27,174
Don't go yet.
You guys can help me
276
00:10:27,176 --> 00:10:29,510
Brainstorm a pattern
for my new quilt.
277
00:10:29,512 --> 00:10:31,946
Marge, i mean this
in the nicest way:
278
00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:35,082
Your idea of fun makes me
want to blow my brains out.
279
00:10:35,084 --> 00:10:36,317
(murmurs disappointedly)
280
00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:40,621
Oh, razzmatazz is
perfect, marge.
281
00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:42,189
It's-it's uh--
it's red,
282
00:10:42,191 --> 00:10:44,258
But not,
uh, too red.
283
00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:45,426
You're right!
284
00:10:45,428 --> 00:10:46,961
Why don't you stick around
285
00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:49,030
And we'll discuss
stitching patterns over tea?
286
00:10:49,032 --> 00:10:50,264
I'd like that.
287
00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:51,999
And i'll take the cake
back to the home
288
00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:53,801
And share it
with the seniors.
289
00:10:53,803 --> 00:10:54,802
Typical.
290
00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:56,103
I'll keep dad company.
291
00:10:56,105 --> 00:10:57,271
Thank you, bart.
292
00:10:57,273 --> 00:11:00,041
Grampa (moaning):
Oh, i dropped it.
293
00:11:00,043 --> 00:11:02,777
Hey, wha-what did you
put down my back?
294
00:11:02,779 --> 00:11:03,978
Could be a tarantula,
295
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:04,979
Could just be some yarn.
296
00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:06,180
I'll be at milhouse's.
297
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:08,049
(whining fearfully)
298
00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:12,353
(sighing)
299
00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:16,290
What the hell?
300
00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:19,126
Oh, it's such a pleasure
to pour tea for someone
301
00:11:19,128 --> 00:11:21,128
And not have to
help him chew it.
302
00:11:21,130 --> 00:11:22,697
We've made our choices.
303
00:11:22,699 --> 00:11:24,799
And the world doesn't
understand them,
304
00:11:24,801 --> 00:11:26,200
But we do.
305
00:11:27,970 --> 00:11:29,804
Oh!
Ew...
306
00:11:29,806 --> 00:11:31,772
Oh...
Aw...
307
00:11:33,076 --> 00:11:34,875
You know marge,
somehow i feel that
308
00:11:34,877 --> 00:11:36,343
More than anyone,
you understand
309
00:11:36,345 --> 00:11:39,080
Those horrible words,
"what do you see in him?"
310
00:11:39,082 --> 00:11:40,514
I never said this,
311
00:11:40,516 --> 00:11:43,517
But did you ever think
we cling to these guys
312
00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:46,554
Because we're afraid
to admit we were wrong?
313
00:11:46,556 --> 00:11:48,355
Do you really think that?
314
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:51,225
Well, i've tried to
use it constructively.
315
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,729
I try to have
"the serenity
316
00:11:54,731 --> 00:11:56,497
"to accept the things
i cannot change
317
00:11:56,499 --> 00:11:58,699
And the courage to change
the things i can."
318
00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:00,000
Homer:
That's what they said to me
319
00:12:00,002 --> 00:12:02,203
At that alcoholics unanimous
meeting!
320
00:12:02,205 --> 00:12:03,604
(groans)
321
00:12:03,606 --> 00:12:05,039
Lisa:
Attention, bus riders!
322
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:07,441
My new seating plan
avoids conflict
323
00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:10,277
Through the use of
complex social algorithms.
324
00:12:10,279 --> 00:12:12,847
It teams up
compatible seatmates
325
00:12:12,849 --> 00:12:14,915
And places milhouse with no one.
326
00:12:14,917 --> 00:12:18,052
Yet somehow,
i'm still a little scared.
327
00:12:18,054 --> 00:12:20,020
Otto, why are you
sitting in back?
328
00:12:20,022 --> 00:12:22,022
Waiting for my assignment,
chief.
329
00:12:22,024 --> 00:12:24,024
The driver's seat.
You're the driver.
330
00:12:24,026 --> 00:12:25,359
Still me?
331
00:12:25,361 --> 00:12:28,095
(scoffs)
new management, same mistakes.
332
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:33,601
It's so quiet. I've never been
able to hear my music before.
333
00:12:33,603 --> 00:12:35,870
(rock music plays
over headphones)
334
00:12:35,872 --> 00:12:37,671
Ooh, it sucks.
335
00:12:39,108 --> 00:12:40,641
Lisa:
This is just the beginning.
336
00:12:40,643 --> 00:12:42,042
Soon i'll have control over
337
00:12:42,044 --> 00:12:43,978
Every aspect of their lives.
338
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:48,449
And then i'll make them achievetheir un-dreamt dreams.
339
00:12:48,451 --> 00:12:50,818
Sherri next to terri.
340
00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:52,219
Jimbo next to dolph.
341
00:12:52,221 --> 00:12:53,921
No one next to milhouse.
342
00:12:53,923 --> 00:12:55,656
Ralph next to
his invisible friend.
343
00:12:55,658 --> 00:12:57,057
Kearney next to nelson.
344
00:12:57,059 --> 00:12:58,993
Martin next to wendell.
345
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,961
Cosine next to database.
346
00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:04,265
(gasps)
347
00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:06,600
My first pg-13 fantasy.
348
00:13:06,602 --> 00:13:08,636
Since we haven't been able
to get a settlement,
349
00:13:08,638 --> 00:13:10,938
We'll have to start preparing
you for your deposition.
350
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:13,941
Caroline here will stand in
for the opposing attorney.
351
00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:15,643
Good afternoon,
mr. Burns.
352
00:13:15,645 --> 00:13:18,112
Release the hounds.
353
00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:21,248
Uh, sir, you should try to
project a friendlier demeanor.
354
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,250
Release the hounds.
355
00:13:23,252 --> 00:13:24,652
Please.
356
00:13:24,654 --> 00:13:26,654
Seriously, sir, it
would really be wise
357
00:13:26,656 --> 00:13:28,122
Not to mention
the hounds.
358
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:30,157
Oh, that's like telling
three-finger brown
359
00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:32,026
He can't play
for the brooklyn tip-tops.
360
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:33,160
(groans)
361
00:13:33,162 --> 00:13:34,595
Marge:
Waylon,
362
00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:35,629
Now i can see why
363
00:13:35,631 --> 00:13:38,666
So many women in movies
have gay friends.
364
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:41,669
Like princess leia
and c-3po.
365
00:13:41,671 --> 00:13:44,104
Listen, i made this for you.
366
00:13:44,106 --> 00:13:45,506
(gasps)
oh, my god.
367
00:13:45,508 --> 00:13:48,108
No one ever gives me a gift.
Thank you.
368
00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:51,045
No one ever tells me thank you.
369
00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:53,214
I think you see my true self.
370
00:13:53,216 --> 00:13:56,717
The one i never
pay attention to at all.
371
00:13:56,719 --> 00:13:59,019
Oh, my god.I want to kiss him.
372
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:01,121
Smithers: Oh, my god.She wants to kiss me.
373
00:14:01,123 --> 00:14:02,189
Marge: I'm a married woman.
Smithers: She would
374
00:14:02,191 --> 00:14:04,024
Look good with a mustache.
375
00:14:04,026 --> 00:14:06,093
(phone vibrates)
376
00:14:12,969 --> 00:14:14,235
Uh, i've got to go.
377
00:14:16,205 --> 00:14:19,173
Thank god i've got
a husband with benefits.
378
00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,575
Come here, you.
379
00:14:21,577 --> 00:14:23,077
Okay, but... (exclaims)
380
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,991
Mmm... Smithers.
381
00:14:36,993 --> 00:14:39,159
Homer:
Wait a sec.
382
00:14:39,161 --> 00:14:42,763
Marge is getting her emotionalneeds fulfilled by another man,
383
00:14:42,765 --> 00:14:45,666
And now she needs mefor nothing but sex.
384
00:14:45,668 --> 00:14:47,801
I'm the luckiest husbandin the world!
385
00:14:53,175 --> 00:14:56,176
You haven't gotten that
stupid signature yet?
386
00:14:56,178 --> 00:14:57,344
No.
387
00:14:57,346 --> 00:14:58,879
And i'm not sure i want to.
388
00:14:58,881 --> 00:15:00,547
You defy me?
389
00:15:00,549 --> 00:15:02,783
Smithers, pour me
a glass of water.
390
00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:07,855
Now squeeze my chest.
391
00:15:07,857 --> 00:15:09,456
(coughs)
392
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:11,926
Now, either get that signature
or you're in charge
393
00:15:11,928 --> 00:15:14,261
Of restarting our plant
at chernobyl.
394
00:15:14,263 --> 00:15:15,596
That was us?
395
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:17,064
That doesn't
leave this room.
396
00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:20,935
Well brother,
prepare to enjoy another day
397
00:15:20,937 --> 00:15:24,071
Of calm, peaceful behavior
on the school bus.
398
00:15:24,073 --> 00:15:26,273
I got to warn you,
a lot of kids
399
00:15:26,275 --> 00:15:28,275
Are pretty unhappy with
the required seating.
400
00:15:28,277 --> 00:15:29,810
(chuckles)
401
00:15:29,812 --> 00:15:32,112
Well, they'll be happy
when i also organize
402
00:15:32,114 --> 00:15:34,748
Cafeteria seating,
who's picked for teams,
403
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:37,751
And i've divided the playground
into swingers and pushers.
404
00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:39,086
That's insane.
405
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:41,555
You just bought yourself
a year of pushing.
406
00:15:53,102 --> 00:15:55,836
Lisa: Order. Order.Maintain order.
407
00:15:55,838 --> 00:15:57,538
Tunnel.
408
00:15:59,141 --> 00:16:00,874
♪ ♪
409
00:16:14,156 --> 00:16:14,989
Whee!
410
00:16:14,991 --> 00:16:18,192
♪ ♪
411
00:16:21,030 --> 00:16:22,963
This message
couldn't be clearer.
412
00:16:22,965 --> 00:16:24,598
The children need more sauce
on their spaghetti.
413
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:25,933
Also, their spelling
is atrocious.
414
00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:27,034
(tires screech)
415
00:16:29,372 --> 00:16:32,039
Well, at least i have me photos.
416
00:16:32,041 --> 00:16:33,040
(screams)
417
00:16:33,042 --> 00:16:35,042
(laughter)
418
00:16:35,044 --> 00:16:37,111
I thought i had
made things better.
419
00:16:37,113 --> 00:16:40,714
Lisa, the bus
is supposed to be crazy.
420
00:16:40,716 --> 00:16:43,117
It's the brief respite
between the twin nightmares
421
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:44,351
Of home and school.
422
00:16:44,353 --> 00:16:46,387
The one thing a
know-it-all doesn't know
423
00:16:46,389 --> 00:16:49,156
Is that everyone
hates a know-it-all.
424
00:16:49,158 --> 00:16:50,958
Did we, uh, lose anyone?
425
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,793
Just the police chief's son.
426
00:16:52,795 --> 00:16:54,862
(beeping)
427
00:16:56,966 --> 00:16:58,899
I bit a rat.
428
00:16:58,901 --> 00:17:00,300
(clears throat)
429
00:17:00,302 --> 00:17:03,303
Marge, this is the
last time i'm coming by.
430
00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:05,005
Oh. Well, that's fine.
431
00:17:05,007 --> 00:17:07,841
I mean, i do have
my knitting to get to.
432
00:17:07,843 --> 00:17:09,009
♪ mm-hmm! ♪
433
00:17:09,011 --> 00:17:10,811
I'm going to a living hell
434
00:17:10,813 --> 00:17:12,046
Followed by a certain death.
435
00:17:12,048 --> 00:17:13,981
Here's a picture
to remember me by.
436
00:17:13,983 --> 00:17:16,817
Taken by my grandma
from her deathbed.
437
00:17:16,819 --> 00:17:18,986
(sniffles)
the last thing she saw.
438
00:17:20,156 --> 00:17:22,990
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
439
00:17:22,992 --> 00:17:24,391
Mmm.
440
00:17:24,393 --> 00:17:25,926
What's wrong, honey?
441
00:17:25,928 --> 00:17:29,430
Oh, i don't feel like
i have anyone to talk to.
442
00:17:29,432 --> 00:17:31,598
I appreciate that,
and i'd like to talk.
443
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:35,102
I'm just so drained after all
the time i spend with the kids.
444
00:17:35,104 --> 00:17:36,503
Bart:
What time?
445
00:17:36,505 --> 00:17:38,672
I took you
to that colonial village.
446
00:17:38,674 --> 00:17:40,674
That was a pub at the airport.
447
00:17:40,676 --> 00:17:43,377
I had an ale. You sat on a
barrel. That makes it colonial.
448
00:17:43,379 --> 00:17:45,579
Homer, i'm sorry, you
have to understand.
449
00:17:45,581 --> 00:17:49,450
Without waylon to talk to,
i feel completely alone.
450
00:17:49,452 --> 00:17:51,185
I totally get it.
451
00:17:51,187 --> 00:17:52,953
One question: Who's waylon?
452
00:17:52,955 --> 00:17:54,188
Smithers.
453
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:55,923
Totally get it.
454
00:17:55,925 --> 00:17:58,459
Oh, my wife really needs
something and to get it
455
00:17:58,461 --> 00:18:00,761
I may have to forego
my settlement.
456
00:18:00,763 --> 00:18:03,363
Homer, you fell down a
trapdoor into a cement mixer.
457
00:18:03,365 --> 00:18:05,232
Don't you think i deserve
something for that?
458
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:07,634
I'm just trying
to do what's right.
459
00:18:07,636 --> 00:18:09,970
Then why did you
file a lawsuit?
460
00:18:11,107 --> 00:18:12,106
I really think you should
461
00:18:12,108 --> 00:18:13,574
Change the venue, sir.
462
00:18:13,576 --> 00:18:15,742
You can't win a case
in this town.
463
00:18:15,744 --> 00:18:18,545
Oh, are they still mad about me
eating the town panda?
464
00:18:18,547 --> 00:18:20,047
Get over it.
465
00:18:21,584 --> 00:18:23,117
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
466
00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:26,720
I'm willing to sign anything
you want on one condition.
467
00:18:26,722 --> 00:18:28,422
Fine.
What's your condition?
468
00:18:28,424 --> 00:18:31,225
You have to keep
mr. Smithers here.
469
00:18:31,227 --> 00:18:33,627
I see.
And are you fool enough
470
00:18:33,629 --> 00:18:35,729
To believe a man's handshake
means anything?
471
00:18:35,731 --> 00:18:37,131
I am.
472
00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:38,332
Well, put 'er there.
473
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,100
Homer, no!
474
00:18:40,102 --> 00:18:42,736
Why doesn't anyone
ever think of the lawyer?
475
00:18:42,738 --> 00:18:45,472
Aw, if i do a slip 'n' fall
on the courthouse steps,
476
00:18:45,474 --> 00:18:47,107
Would that help?
477
00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:48,742
(sniffs)
it might.
478
00:18:51,947 --> 00:18:54,081
See you thursday.
479
00:18:54,083 --> 00:18:56,316
And i'll see you thursday night.
480
00:18:56,318 --> 00:18:58,018
Oh. (chuckles)
481
00:18:58,020 --> 00:19:01,355
And i'll see you
early friday morning.
482
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,123
Mm-hmm.
483
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:04,358
Mm-hmm.
484
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,860
Oh, these slippery stairs.
485
00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:08,328
(exclaiming)
486
00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:09,930
(gasps)
homie!
487
00:19:09,932 --> 00:19:11,031
Marge, no!
488
00:19:14,770 --> 00:19:16,203
(honks)
489
00:19:17,306 --> 00:19:18,705
Marge,
490
00:19:18,707 --> 00:19:21,441
I know smithers
was good at talking to you.
491
00:19:21,443 --> 00:19:23,143
And i want to talk to you too.
492
00:19:23,145 --> 00:19:24,711
Oh.
493
00:19:24,713 --> 00:19:27,281
Just don't expect me
to be great at first.
494
00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:33,187
Oh, honey, no one's great
their first time.
495
00:19:33,189 --> 00:19:34,988
It's like baking.
496
00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:37,624
Uh, okay, well, uh...
497
00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:38,959
I like you.
498
00:19:38,961 --> 00:19:41,161
And i adore you.
499
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:43,964
You sacrificed yourself
for my happiness.
500
00:19:43,966 --> 00:19:45,999
There is nothing
that makes a woman
501
00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:48,202
Feel more cherished
and secure.
502
00:19:48,204 --> 00:19:50,003
Thank you, my darling.
503
00:19:50,005 --> 00:19:53,140
(whispers):
Marge, this is going great.
504
00:19:53,142 --> 00:19:56,009
Grampa:
Now don't you worry,
i made you both soup.
505
00:19:56,011 --> 00:19:58,912
Ooh-hoo, it's pipin' hot.
506
00:19:58,914 --> 00:20:00,380
Two hours in the microwave.
507
00:20:00,382 --> 00:20:01,982
(exclaims)
508
00:20:10,025 --> 00:20:14,161
Who knows what the "d.C." stands
for in washington, d.C.? Anyone?
509
00:20:14,163 --> 00:20:15,028
Anyone?
510
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:16,196
Mustn't be a know-it-all.
511
00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,165
Never again. Not worth it.
512
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:20,100
D.C. Anyone?
513
00:20:20,102 --> 00:20:23,036
Daddy's kitchen?
(grumbles)
514
00:20:23,038 --> 00:20:24,404
Not quite.
Anyone else?
515
00:20:24,406 --> 00:20:26,006
No? Okay.
516
00:20:26,008 --> 00:20:29,876
Children, "d.C." stands for
"district of the capitol."
517
00:20:29,878 --> 00:20:31,411
No it doesn't!
518
00:20:31,413 --> 00:20:33,280
The answer is
"district of columbia."
519
00:20:33,282 --> 00:20:35,616
And miss hoover, i don't
want to be a smarty pants,
520
00:20:35,618 --> 00:20:38,118
But the previous answer
was texas.
521
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,920
Before that, 1848.
522
00:20:39,922 --> 00:20:41,755
Before that, seward's folly.
523
00:20:41,757 --> 00:20:43,724
And your dentist appointment
is not tomorrow,
524
00:20:43,726 --> 00:20:46,326
It's the day after.
Thank you.
525
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,867
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org
526
00:21:32,074 --> 00:21:35,008
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka mr. Burns ♪
527
00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:36,710
♪ the wiki-wakka liki-lakka... ♪
36575
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