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00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:11,810
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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"Free beer"?!
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Free beer. Free beer.
4
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Free beer.
Free beer.
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00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:39,481
Free beer-beer-beer-beer-beer-
beer-beer-beer-beer-beer!
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Free...!
7
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Hello. I'm here for the free beer.
8
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You got it.
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Right after these 800 people get it.
10
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Beer, beer-beer, beer-beer.
11
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Beer?
12
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Ah... yeah!
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Thank you, headless clone of Agnew.
14
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My fellow Earthicans,
15
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I'm proud to announce
I'm running for reelection
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as Ppresident of Earth,
17
00:01:22,493 --> 00:01:24,526
the greatest planet in the world.
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Is everyone enjoying their free beer?
19
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Well, there's plenty more
where that came from.
20
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We're all out of beer.
21
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All right, listen up, nitwits.
22
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Who here is tired
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00:01:44,815 --> 00:01:47,560
of illegal space aliens
taking our good earth jobs?
24
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Me, too.
25
00:01:50,955 --> 00:01:53,399
So, if I'm reelected,
I promise to build
26
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a really big Dyson fence
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across the Southern border
of our solar system.
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00:02:00,395 --> 00:02:01,574
And furthermore, by golly,
29
00:02:01,699 --> 00:02:03,709
I promise to cut taxes for the rich
30
00:02:03,834 --> 00:02:06,879
and use the poor
as a cheap source of teeth
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for aquarium gravel.
32
00:02:08,569 --> 00:02:10,883
Yeah! That'll show those poor!
33
00:02:11,008 --> 00:02:13,419
Why are you cheering, Fry?
You're not rich.
34
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True, but someday I might be rich.
35
00:02:15,679 --> 00:02:18,224
And then people like me
better watch their step.
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00:02:18,349 --> 00:02:20,874
Let's just find Bender.
37
00:02:26,023 --> 00:02:27,867
Ah, that hit the spot.
38
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I found Bender!
39
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Good news, everyone.
40
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Wha...?
41
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:38,911
I've repaired myself with these
44
00:02:42,353 --> 00:02:43,916
Bender, you can't even vote.
45
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You're a convicted felon.
46
00:02:45,606 --> 00:02:47,720
Convicted, sentenced and executed.
47
00:02:47,845 --> 00:02:50,322
But Nixon passed a law that
says ex-cons can vote again...
48
00:02:50,447 --> 00:02:52,406
As long as they vote for Nixon.
49
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:54,460
But Nixon's the worst
president in history
50
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and alternate history.
51
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The rest of you aren't
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voting for him, are you?
53
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Sure, we are!
Why not?
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Of course!
Spluh!
55
00:03:00,663 --> 00:03:01,934
He may not be perfect,
56
00:03:02,059 --> 00:03:04,670
but do we really want
some unknown new guy?
57
00:03:04,795 --> 00:03:07,838
I'll stick with the evil maniac
I know, thank you.
58
00:03:08,004 --> 00:03:09,508
Well, I think we can do better.
59
00:03:09,633 --> 00:03:11,377
This year, I'm going to get involved
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00:03:11,502 --> 00:03:14,803
in the political process
and make my voice heard.
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00:03:14,969 --> 00:03:16,472
What?
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00:03:22,746 --> 00:03:27,107
Welcome to debate 3012,
the 3,012th debate
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00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,261
of the 3012 election year.
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00:03:29,386 --> 00:03:31,430
We have a crowded field
of candidates,
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00:03:31,555 --> 00:03:33,966
so I will dispense
with the informal terrorizing
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and begin the questions.
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Is this the political process?
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'cause I'm here to
get involved in it.
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00:03:39,577 --> 00:03:40,829
Silence!
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00:03:40,995 --> 00:03:44,243
Question one: Will you pledge today
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00:03:44,368 --> 00:03:45,945
to somehow reduce taxes
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00:03:46,070 --> 00:03:48,837
while simultaneously lowering
the deficit?
73
00:03:49,003 --> 00:03:50,416
Hey, that's a good idea. Sure.
74
00:03:50,541 --> 00:03:52,718
If it'll win me the election,
then yes.
75
00:03:52,843 --> 00:03:55,654
We have a saying up in Alaska.
76
00:03:55,779 --> 00:03:57,280
That's all.
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00:03:58,638 --> 00:03:59,848
Senator Travers?
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00:04:00,014 --> 00:04:01,460
Look, let's be honest here.
79
00:04:01,585 --> 00:04:05,064
No one likes taxes, but they pay
for our basic needs:
80
00:04:05,189 --> 00:04:07,522
Roads, schools, defense.
81
00:04:07,688 --> 00:04:11,070
If we hope to realize our
aspirations as a great planet,
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00:04:11,195 --> 00:04:12,938
we must each pay our fair share
83
00:04:13,063 --> 00:04:16,490
to achieve those noble goals.
84
00:04:22,954 --> 00:04:24,116
Thank you, Senator.
85
00:04:24,241 --> 00:04:25,484
A thoughtful and lucid answer.
86
00:04:25,609 --> 00:04:26,952
You will be destroyed!
87
00:04:27,077 --> 00:04:30,671
Question two:
The environment, yes or no?
88
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,157
No. It's junk science.
89
00:04:32,282 --> 00:04:33,993
Two words: Condor attack.
90
00:04:34,118 --> 00:04:36,259
Don't want that. Got to say no.
91
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:37,863
Now, just a minute.
92
00:04:37,988 --> 00:04:39,632
These are important issues.
93
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:42,057
We can't just reduce them
to sound bites.
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00:04:44,308 --> 00:04:45,871
According to reputable scientists...
95
00:04:47,979 --> 00:04:50,107
Enviromite!
96
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,657
Hello?
97
00:04:58,823 --> 00:05:00,019
I'd like to volunteer.
98
00:05:00,144 --> 00:05:02,788
Is anyone lurking?
99
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:06,915
Hey, stop that.
100
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:10,127
Senator Travers?
101
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,962
That's no way to win an election.
102
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,532
I give up.
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00:05:13,657 --> 00:05:14,900
No one cares about my message.
104
00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:17,369
I never should have used
the same pr guy
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00:05:17,494 --> 00:05:18,971
as one hour hot dog.
106
00:05:19,096 --> 00:05:23,242
People will wait
for something good.
107
00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:25,017
No, don't quit.
108
00:05:25,183 --> 00:05:26,478
You have great ideas.
109
00:05:26,603 --> 00:05:28,147
You just need to get them out there
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00:05:28,272 --> 00:05:30,516
with social media.
111
00:05:30,641 --> 00:05:33,252
Look, I posted your
debate video on Facebag.
112
00:05:33,524 --> 00:05:35,154
10,000 views?
113
00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,389
That's more than most
water-skiing squirrels get.
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00:05:37,514 --> 00:05:40,032
You really think I have a chance?
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00:05:40,198 --> 00:05:41,527
Absolutely.
116
00:05:41,652 --> 00:05:43,996
We just need to conceal
your intelligence and honesty
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00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:46,038
in a hipper, dumber package.
118
00:05:46,204 --> 00:05:47,866
Well, what have I got to lose?
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00:05:47,991 --> 00:05:50,502
I'm making you
my new campaign manager.
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00:05:50,627 --> 00:05:51,770
You, out!
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00:05:52,043 --> 00:05:56,006
You haven't heard the last of m...
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00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,345
As the Iowa caucus approaches,
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00:06:02,511 --> 00:06:04,917
the state's hippest citizens
turned out
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00:06:05,042 --> 00:06:08,351
for an old-fashioned flash mob.
125
00:06:08,517 --> 00:06:12,230
Chris Travers got a bump
in the new Hampshire polls today,
126
00:06:12,396 --> 00:06:15,427
where he simuldined in 250
diners at once via hologram.
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00:06:15,552 --> 00:06:18,263
This pie at this diner
is the best pie.
128
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:24,837
Chris Travers wins
the South California primary handily,
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00:06:24,962 --> 00:06:27,029
thanks to a series of
well-placed cameo appearances.
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00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:33,251
Super Tuesday is in the books,
with Eurasia, Australia
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00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:35,712
and Kentucky turning out
in big numbers.
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00:06:35,878 --> 00:06:37,316
With the race a dead heat,
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00:06:37,441 --> 00:06:40,543
it's all come down to
a final tally at the convention.
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00:06:46,216 --> 00:06:48,266
And the first runner-up,
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00:06:48,432 --> 00:06:49,828
who will take over if the nominee
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00:06:49,953 --> 00:06:52,731
is caught with a dead girl,
a live boy
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00:06:52,856 --> 00:06:55,334
or any kind of sexy ghost...
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00:06:55,459 --> 00:06:57,025
Mr. Greenland!
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00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,775
Which means our nominee
is the Senator
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00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,992
from the nation-state of Hawaii,
141
00:07:06,158 --> 00:07:07,513
Chris Travers!
142
00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:11,748
He won the nomination!
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00:07:11,914 --> 00:07:13,085
We the people did it!
144
00:07:13,210 --> 00:07:14,820
It wasn't "we the people".
145
00:07:14,945 --> 00:07:16,488
It was you the mutant.
146
00:07:16,613 --> 00:07:19,024
Your insightful nagging
really won us over.
147
00:07:19,149 --> 00:07:21,026
Yeah. You explained his positions
148
00:07:21,151 --> 00:07:23,162
in a way even an idiot
could understand.
149
00:07:23,287 --> 00:07:26,221
And that appealed to me,
for whatever reason.
150
00:07:26,387 --> 00:07:28,849
Thanks, guys, but we have
a lot of work ahead of us.
151
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,202
If we're going to win the election,
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00:07:30,327 --> 00:07:32,227
we've all got to get involved.
153
00:07:32,393 --> 00:07:34,039
You said it!
That's right.
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00:07:34,312 --> 00:07:35,707
If you want my opinion,
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00:07:35,832 --> 00:07:38,043
Nixon's only chance to defeat Travers
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00:07:38,168 --> 00:07:40,379
is with filthy lies, dirty tricks
157
00:07:40,504 --> 00:07:43,115
and good old Quaker thuggery.
158
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,285
And I'm just the guy for the job.
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00:07:59,661 --> 00:08:01,204
{pub}I'm not sure if it's safe to talk.
160
00:08:01,329 --> 00:08:02,457
Are you wearing a wire?
161
00:08:02,623 --> 00:08:03,916
I'm 40% wire.
162
00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:05,475
Excellent. Now, listen.
163
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,744
We got to get some dirt
on this Travers guy.
164
00:08:07,869 --> 00:08:09,112
Really McGovern him up.
165
00:08:09,237 --> 00:08:10,673
You know who McGovern was, right?
166
00:08:10,905 --> 00:08:12,675
I don't even know who you are.
167
00:08:21,725 --> 00:08:23,728
Hello, dirt.
168
00:08:23,952 --> 00:08:27,648
I'll start at "n" for nude pictures.
169
00:08:27,856 --> 00:08:29,424
Aw, Nobel prize?
170
00:08:29,549 --> 00:08:30,485
That's no good.
171
00:08:30,651 --> 00:08:33,446
How about "a" for adultery?
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00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,741
What? Straight-a transcript?
173
00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:39,509
Hey, what's that rifling sound?
174
00:08:39,634 --> 00:08:41,068
Uh-oh.
175
00:09:00,264 --> 00:09:02,532
All right. I'm going to catch
Travers on video
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00:09:02,657 --> 00:09:05,394
at this sleazy strip club.
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00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:08,815
In and out of the club
13 times in one night.
178
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,340
That's a record.
Where's Travers?
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00:09:10,465 --> 00:09:12,842
All I see is you going in and out.
180
00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:14,570
Yeah, me.
I set the record.
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00:09:16,404 --> 00:09:18,748
This is as useless as
those pictures you photoshopped.
182
00:09:18,873 --> 00:09:21,786
Look, just give me one more
chance. I got a source.
183
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:26,089
Well, you did manage to get
a tremendous urine sample.
184
00:09:26,214 --> 00:09:28,126
Let's not talk about that.
185
00:09:34,589 --> 00:09:36,266
Is that you, big throat?
186
00:09:36,391 --> 00:09:38,261
In the flesh.
187
00:09:38,427 --> 00:09:41,597
Listen, I need some dirt
on Senator Chris Travers.
188
00:09:41,763 --> 00:09:42,939
How quaint.
189
00:09:43,064 --> 00:09:45,441
But I suppose I should do my part
190
00:09:45,566 --> 00:09:47,810
for political intercourse.
191
00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:51,566
Come closer,
and I'll expose what I know.
192
00:09:51,732 --> 00:09:53,651
There's nothing.
193
00:09:53,817 --> 00:09:56,696
He's as clean as a
freshly waxed buttock.
194
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:58,823
Hey! Did you put your tongue
in my ear?
195
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,325
Certainly not.
I don't have a tongue.
196
00:10:01,582 --> 00:10:03,411
Oh, good.
'cause I don't have an ear.
197
00:10:05,245 --> 00:10:06,963
Come on, come on, fall.
198
00:10:07,088 --> 00:10:08,398
Fall, damn it, fall!
199
00:10:09,833 --> 00:10:11,544
Well? What did you get on Travers?
200
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:13,963
Is he a draft dodger?
Sex offender?
201
00:10:14,129 --> 00:10:14,881
Sex dodger?
202
00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:16,465
Nada. He's clean.
203
00:10:16,631 --> 00:10:19,175
I'm sorry, but there's
not one unusual thing
204
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,470
about Senator Chris Zaxxar Travers.
205
00:10:21,636 --> 00:10:24,047
Wait, wait.
His middle name is Zaxxar?
206
00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:25,515
Sounds kind of alien.
207
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,226
The voters hate aliens.
208
00:10:27,392 --> 00:10:30,146
They sure do, but this guy's
as human as you or me.
209
00:10:30,312 --> 00:10:31,854
I don't care what he is.
210
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:34,650
We'll start a rumor
that he's an alien.
211
00:10:34,816 --> 00:10:36,903
Hey, yeah.
That'll cost him votes.
212
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:39,495
Then, when he says he
was born on this planet,
213
00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:41,364
we make him cough up
his earth certificate.
214
00:10:41,489 --> 00:10:43,534
Keep it on the news,
put him on the defensive.
215
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:45,535
Oh, this is sneaky.
216
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:49,339
I feel a jowl movement coming on.
217
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,170
And that's how you end hunger.
218
00:10:54,336 --> 00:10:55,912
Does anyone have any questions?
219
00:10:56,037 --> 00:10:57,924
I do, I do!
Me, Bender!
220
00:10:58,090 --> 00:11:00,676
Yes, the robot with the
megaphone jumping up and down.
221
00:11:00,842 --> 00:11:06,089
I have a question
for Senator c. Zaxxar Travers.
222
00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:10,927
Tell me, Zaxxar...
223
00:11:11,052 --> 00:11:12,729
Were you even born on earth?
224
00:11:12,854 --> 00:11:16,232
Because the earth constitution
clearly states
225
00:11:16,357 --> 00:11:19,402
that only people born
on earth can be president.
226
00:11:19,527 --> 00:11:21,571
Isn't that right,
Justice Ruth Dader Ginsburg?
227
00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:24,283
You Ruth Bader believe it!
228
00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:25,775
But-but... I...
229
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,536
Of course I was born on earth.
230
00:11:27,702 --> 00:11:29,279
Oh, really?
231
00:11:29,404 --> 00:11:32,482
Then we voters demand you
release your earth certificate
232
00:11:32,607 --> 00:11:34,543
so I can then claim it's a fake.
233
00:11:34,709 --> 00:11:37,220
I'm not going to dignify
this preposterous charge.
234
00:11:37,345 --> 00:11:39,215
Are there any real questions?
235
00:11:39,381 --> 00:11:41,509
Scoop Chang, fox quote-unquote news.
236
00:11:41,675 --> 00:11:43,393
Senator, in the last ten seconds,
237
00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:45,428
I've heard reports you weren't
actually born on earth.
238
00:11:45,553 --> 00:11:47,348
Care to evade
these compelling charges?
239
00:11:47,514 --> 00:11:48,598
No. I mean, yes.
240
00:11:48,723 --> 00:11:49,832
I mean...
241
00:11:54,146 --> 00:11:56,339
Okay, let's nip this
earther movement in the bud
242
00:11:56,464 --> 00:11:57,740
by releasing your earth certificate.
243
00:11:57,865 --> 00:11:58,985
Where were you born?
244
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,070
Our lady of patriotism hospital.
245
00:12:01,236 --> 00:12:03,322
Patriotism, good.
Where is it?
246
00:12:03,488 --> 00:12:05,533
Kenya.
Cradle of humanity.
247
00:12:05,699 --> 00:12:09,218
Leel this is just a stupid
distraction from the issues.
248
00:12:09,343 --> 00:12:12,456
Please don't look for
my earth certificate.
249
00:12:12,622 --> 00:12:14,590
Hey! That was my favorite window.
250
00:12:14,715 --> 00:12:16,544
I better see what they want.
251
00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:18,328
We want an earthling,
252
00:12:18,453 --> 00:12:20,330
not a dirty space thing!
253
00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:22,465
Why are you rednecks doing this?
254
00:12:22,632 --> 00:12:24,176
Leela, don't stereotype.
255
00:12:24,342 --> 00:12:26,345
Why are you yokels doing this?
256
00:12:26,511 --> 00:12:29,305
I may be just
a backwoods septic tank,
257
00:12:29,430 --> 00:12:32,310
but I've had it up to here
with you foreigners.
258
00:12:32,476 --> 00:12:34,228
But I come from earth.
259
00:12:34,394 --> 00:12:36,979
Then show us yer earth whatchacallit.
260
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:39,734
Long-form certificate of live birth.
261
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:42,585
What would it take
to convince you people?
262
00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:44,864
Would I have to have been born
right before your eyes?
263
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:46,122
It wouldn't hurts.
264
00:12:46,247 --> 00:12:47,742
Hit it, rubes!
265
00:12:47,908 --> 00:12:49,525
We don't want a foreigner!
266
00:12:49,650 --> 00:12:51,787
We want someone born here!
267
00:12:51,953 --> 00:12:54,248
Ah, I'm still working on that one.
268
00:12:55,623 --> 00:12:57,133
What's wrong with you?
269
00:12:57,258 --> 00:12:59,969
Why are you sabotaging
a decent, honest candidate?
270
00:13:00,094 --> 00:13:02,638
'cause they won't let me near
the hoover dam anymore.
271
00:13:02,763 --> 00:13:05,634
Ooh. What a bunch of xenophobes.
272
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,044
It's time to find Senator
Travers' earth certificate
273
00:13:08,169 --> 00:13:09,889
and put an end to this nonsense.
274
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,475
Who wants to help me break
into the hospital in Kenya?
275
00:13:12,641 --> 00:13:13,950
I'll come.
276
00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:15,718
As long as there's
no xenophobes there.
277
00:13:17,270 --> 00:13:19,732
I want to come, too.
You? Why?
278
00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:22,992
To prove that I can put
divisive partisan politics aside
279
00:13:23,117 --> 00:13:25,279
to participate in a break-in.
280
00:13:36,864 --> 00:13:38,918
Hospital ho!
281
00:13:58,019 --> 00:14:00,481
Shh. It's a herd of night watchmen.
282
00:14:08,062 --> 00:14:10,449
I found it!
283
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,376
I don't understand.
284
00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,044
There's no earth certificate in here.
285
00:14:15,169 --> 00:14:16,436
No, there isn't.
286
00:14:19,416 --> 00:14:21,669
I told you not to look.
287
00:14:21,835 --> 00:14:23,921
So, you're not from earth after all.
288
00:14:24,087 --> 00:14:25,631
Of course I'm from earth.
289
00:14:25,797 --> 00:14:26,889
Wait a second.
290
00:14:27,014 --> 00:14:28,257
There's no earth certificate,
291
00:14:28,382 --> 00:14:30,126
but it does say your
mother was admitted
292
00:14:30,251 --> 00:14:32,295
to the maternity
ward... this morning!
293
00:14:34,222 --> 00:14:35,298
I should have known
294
00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:37,643
the truth would come out
sooner or later.
295
00:14:37,809 --> 00:14:42,138
The fact is, I really was
born on earth... tomorrow.
296
00:14:42,263 --> 00:14:44,740
You see, I'm not from another planet.
297
00:14:44,865 --> 00:14:47,200
I'm from the future.
298
00:15:06,261 --> 00:15:07,404
{pub}This is crazy.
299
00:15:07,529 --> 00:15:09,224
You're from the future?
Yes.
300
00:15:09,390 --> 00:15:11,408
I was sent back from the year 3028
301
00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:13,228
to prevent Nixon
from getting elected.
302
00:15:13,394 --> 00:15:15,912
I was sent forward from the year 2000,
303
00:15:16,037 --> 00:15:17,857
but you don't hear me
gassing on about it.
304
00:15:18,023 --> 00:15:20,944
But why would it be so
important to stop Nixon?
305
00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:23,853
Because of the horrific events
he's going to set in motion.
306
00:15:23,978 --> 00:15:25,221
Oh, God.
307
00:15:25,346 --> 00:15:27,575
I can't bring myself to describe it.
308
00:15:27,741 --> 00:15:29,661
Oh, well. Want to hear
about how I got frozen?
309
00:15:29,884 --> 00:15:31,785
Not really.
310
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:34,916
It all started
with Nixon's promise
311
00:15:35,041 --> 00:15:37,877
to build an alien-proof fence
around the solar system.
312
00:15:38,126 --> 00:15:40,604
Without cheap alien labo
for menial jobs
313
00:15:40,729 --> 00:15:42,757
like harvesting crops, teaching math
314
00:15:42,923 --> 00:15:45,843
and curing disease,
the economy collapsed.
315
00:15:46,009 --> 00:15:47,777
Starvation.
316
00:15:47,902 --> 00:15:49,846
Desperation. Despair.
317
00:15:50,013 --> 00:15:51,975
So far, so good.
Then what?
318
00:15:52,141 --> 00:15:54,551
Unable to feed
the world's starving masses,
319
00:15:54,676 --> 00:15:56,646
Nixon took bold action.
320
00:15:56,812 --> 00:16:00,357
In this time of crisis,
I call upon the soylent major...
321
00:16:00,482 --> 00:16:02,652
I mean silent majority.
322
00:16:11,702 --> 00:16:12,495
Still good.
323
00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,424
With the working class gone,
324
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:17,030
robots were forced
to do all the menial labor.
325
00:16:20,294 --> 00:16:23,170
Before long,
they rose up in revolt...
326
00:16:29,595 --> 00:16:33,556
... Led by a bending unit
named b.B. Rodriguez.
327
00:16:36,643 --> 00:16:40,356
Wait...
I know a robot named b.B. Rodriguez!
328
00:16:40,522 --> 00:16:43,967
Wait... I am a robot
named b.B. Rodriguez.
329
00:16:44,092 --> 00:16:45,945
So, I become ruler of earth?
330
00:16:46,111 --> 00:16:47,030
Indeed.
331
00:16:47,196 --> 00:16:48,605
Yes!
332
00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:50,199
In your face,
high school guidance counselor.
333
00:16:50,365 --> 00:16:52,008
The robots crushed
334
00:16:52,133 --> 00:16:54,010
our most treasured monuments
and celebrities,
335
00:16:54,135 --> 00:16:56,513
but they couldn't crush
the human spirit.
336
00:16:56,638 --> 00:16:58,348
We went into hiding,
337
00:16:58,473 --> 00:17:00,817
and after careful research,
located a xeroxed copy
338
00:17:00,942 --> 00:17:04,339
of an ancient time travel code.
339
00:17:04,505 --> 00:17:06,356
Though I was only 15,
340
00:17:06,481 --> 00:17:09,492
mankind entrusted me with its
last remaining suit and tie
341
00:17:09,617 --> 00:17:11,846
and sent me back in time.
342
00:17:12,012 --> 00:17:13,496
I would be raised by my grandparents,
343
00:17:13,621 --> 00:17:15,565
somehow get into Harvard law school,
344
00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:17,351
become a community organizer,
a Senator
345
00:17:17,517 --> 00:17:18,603
and finally...
346
00:17:18,769 --> 00:17:20,894
Defeat Richard Nixon.
347
00:17:23,232 --> 00:17:25,735
I escaped just as the robots arrived.
348
00:17:27,444 --> 00:17:28,845
All right, I'm low on bullets.
349
00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:30,280
Everybody scooch together.
350
00:17:30,447 --> 00:17:31,514
It's not too late.
351
00:17:31,639 --> 00:17:33,034
You can still win the election.
352
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,218
No, I can't.
The Earthers are right.
353
00:17:35,343 --> 00:17:37,205
I have no earth certificate.
354
00:17:37,371 --> 00:17:39,723
But you will have one
in just a few hours.
355
00:17:39,848 --> 00:17:41,793
And everyone will know it's real,
356
00:17:41,959 --> 00:17:45,018
cause we'll broadcast
your birth on live TV.
357
00:17:46,521 --> 00:17:48,925
If it's on TV, it has to be real.
358
00:17:50,792 --> 00:17:53,554
Morbo interrupts "Bowling For Quatloos"
359
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,138
to present breaking coverage
360
00:17:55,263 --> 00:17:57,809
of the birth of Senator Chris Traver
361
00:17:57,975 --> 00:18:00,269
we now go live to the delivery room,
362
00:18:00,477 --> 00:18:01,678
where we're already at there.
363
00:18:05,206 --> 00:18:06,316
Ow!
364
00:18:06,441 --> 00:18:08,451
Ck, please.
She needs room.
365
00:18:08,576 --> 00:18:10,120
Thanks.
Not you.
366
00:18:10,245 --> 00:18:12,031
The camerawoman needs room.
367
00:18:12,197 --> 00:18:13,857
This is it, ladies and gentlemen.
368
00:18:13,982 --> 00:18:15,125
The candidate is...
369
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,245
I believe he's crowning!
370
00:18:17,411 --> 00:18:19,580
Push, mom, push.
You can do it.
371
00:18:19,746 --> 00:18:21,531
I bet nothing comes out.
372
00:18:21,656 --> 00:18:22,966
Just you watch.
373
00:18:23,091 --> 00:18:24,567
Here comes the head.
374
00:18:24,692 --> 00:18:26,462
And now the neck.
375
00:18:26,628 --> 00:18:28,805
Linda, I'm down here at the pelvis,
376
00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:31,808
and folks round these parts
can't remember the last time
377
00:18:31,933 --> 00:18:34,844
a time-traveling Senator
attended his own birth.
378
00:18:34,969 --> 00:18:36,079
Back to you.
379
00:18:36,346 --> 00:18:37,347
Thanks, Morbo.
380
00:18:37,472 --> 00:18:38,581
You be careful down there.
381
00:18:41,142 --> 00:18:43,019
And the candidate is born!
382
00:18:43,186 --> 00:18:47,108
We have a birth...
Repeat, we have a birth.
383
00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:52,280
Aw... he's got his own eyes.
384
00:18:52,446 --> 00:18:54,164
Well, who'd have thunk it.
385
00:18:54,289 --> 00:18:56,166
He was born all right,
386
00:18:56,291 --> 00:18:58,244
just like he said.
387
00:19:06,701 --> 00:19:10,840
And with the polls now closed
in every time zone worldwide,
388
00:19:11,006 --> 00:19:13,716
from Tomorrowland
to the Republic of yesterday,
389
00:19:13,841 --> 00:19:15,518
we are able to declare a winner.
390
00:19:15,643 --> 00:19:18,388
Chris Travers,
who leapt backwards in time
391
00:19:18,513 --> 00:19:21,893
and ahead in the polls,
has defeated Richard Nixon.
392
00:19:23,351 --> 00:19:25,980
He did it! He did it!
393
00:19:26,146 --> 00:19:27,230
Yes!
394
00:19:27,355 --> 00:19:29,465
Congratulations, Mr. president.
395
00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:31,367
It's all thanks to you, Leela.
396
00:19:31,492 --> 00:19:34,571
You stood by me and exposed
my private medical records,
397
00:19:34,696 --> 00:19:36,699
even after I begged you not to.
398
00:19:36,865 --> 00:19:38,274
Aw, thanks.
399
00:19:38,399 --> 00:19:41,477
Now, get up to that podium
and change the world.
400
00:19:41,602 --> 00:19:43,813
Too bad your pal Xon lost, Bender.
401
00:19:43,938 --> 00:19:45,708
You must be pretty glorked off.
402
00:19:45,874 --> 00:19:48,451
Nope. I don't give a bag
of butts who won the election.
403
00:19:48,576 --> 00:19:49,712
Nothing's going to change.
404
00:19:49,878 --> 00:19:51,964
What? How can you say that?
405
00:19:52,130 --> 00:19:53,880
Watch and learn.
406
00:19:56,134 --> 00:19:57,927
My fellow Earthicans,
407
00:19:58,052 --> 00:20:00,897
I am honored and humbled
to stand before you tonight
408
00:20:01,022 --> 00:20:03,226
as your next president.
409
00:20:03,392 --> 00:20:04,834
Together, we will...
410
00:20:04,959 --> 00:20:06,102
Hey, what's-what's going on?
411
00:20:06,227 --> 00:20:07,503
What's happening?
412
00:20:09,815 --> 00:20:11,741
You see, since Nixon wasn't elected,
413
00:20:11,866 --> 00:20:13,776
the robot uprising didn't happen
414
00:20:13,901 --> 00:20:16,531
and Travers never got
sent back from the future.
415
00:20:16,697 --> 00:20:18,699
It's politics 101.
416
00:20:24,045 --> 00:20:25,456
And the votes are in.
417
00:20:25,622 --> 00:20:27,590
Richard Nixon, running unopposed,
418
00:20:27,715 --> 00:20:30,628
has been reelected
by a narrow landslide.
419
00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:31,504
Say what?
420
00:20:31,670 --> 00:20:33,422
My fellow Earthicans,
421
00:20:33,588 --> 00:20:36,432
I am honored and humbled
to gloat before you tonight
422
00:20:36,557 --> 00:20:39,428
as your next president.
423
00:20:39,594 --> 00:20:42,639
Wow, it really doesn't
matter who you vote for.
424
00:20:42,764 --> 00:20:44,307
At least we tried
to make a difference
425
00:20:44,432 --> 00:20:45,875
by supporting Senator...
426
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,810
Senator...
427
00:20:47,935 --> 00:20:49,169
What was his name again?
428
00:20:49,294 --> 00:20:50,712
Uh, I don't remember.
429
00:20:50,837 --> 00:20:52,606
We never even left this building.
430
00:20:52,731 --> 00:20:53,717
What?
431
00:20:53,842 --> 00:20:57,418
Nixon always wins!
432
00:20:57,543 --> 00:21:01,951
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
433
00:21:07,211 --> 00:21:10,658
WEBDL Sync: VeRdiKT
[Addic7ed.com]
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