All language subtitles for The.Flintstones.S03E05.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[theme song]

[squawking]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

? Flintstones meet the Flintstones ?

? They're the modern Stone Age family ?

? From the town of Bedrock ?

? They're a page right out of history ?

? Let's ride with the family down the street ?

? Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ?

? When you're with the Flintstones ?

? Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ?

? A dabba-doo time ?

? We'll have a gay old time ??

[instrumental music]

Let's face it, Betty.

As chairman of our Ladies Auxiliary

Entertainment Committee

I'm a flop.

Oh, gee, Wilma

you've only got a week to get an act

for our big charity benefit show.

And I don't know where to start.

Hmm.

Um, how about a mind-reading act?

No. The ladies do that at home all the time.

[laughing]

screech

Oh, there's Fred. What does he say?

We haven't discussed it.

He's been working so hard lately

all I hear is three things.

"What a day, I'm beat and what's for dinner?"

Oh, boy. What a day.

I am beat.

Wilma, what's for dinner? I'm starving.

swish

screech

No! No, Dino! Down, boy! Down!

Heel! Heel, boy!

[laughs] Down, Dino! Down, will you?

(Fred) 'What's for dinner?'

How would a trained seal be?

'Wilma, I've told you a hundred times, no new recipes.'

[chuckles] It's not for you, Fred.

It's for the Ladies Auxiliary.

Well, they can get their own dinner.

Did you ever see such a grouch, Betty?

I will if I don't get Barney's dinner on the table.

- Bye, folks. - 'Bye.'

[instrumental music]

Fine thing

man comes home from work

and what does he want?

His paper, his pipe

his slippers and dinner.

'And what does he get?'

'Wisecracks.'

Like, uh, a trained seal for dinner.

For me, it's decisions

decisions, decisions all day long!

'But Wilma can't decide whether to feed me'

'or the Ladies Auxiliary.'

- Now, I like that. - 'You do, huh?'

Well, while you're liking things

how come you don't like me as much as Dino does?

I do like you as much as Dino, Fred

'but I'm all in a dither because I can't find an act'

'for our charity show.'

(Fred) 'Oh, is that all?'

(Wilma) 'Fred, it's a big problem.'

(Fred) 'So get a big star who will draw a big crowd.'

(Wilma) 'For 35 little dollars?'

When does a potato peeler get a coffee break around here?

Wilma, money is no problem when you think big.

Since when?

Since I happen to have a big friend

who's a big agent for big stars.

Fred, I don't think you'll get a star for $35.

Then stop thinking, Wilma.

I will handle it.

Gee, Fred, nobody can hire a star for no money.

Barney, Sam Stone and me were buddies

way before he became a big agent.

(Fred) 'I won't need money with good ol' Sam.'

[instrumental music]

So, um, I promised the wife a star for..

[chuckles]

...peanuts, Sammy old pal.

Well, for peanuts, Fred, baby, sweetheart

I think I got the answer.

Aw, thanks, Sam!

I knew I could count on you.

Fred, baby, sweetheart, as everyone knows

Sam Stone's got a heart of gold, right?

- Right. - Right.

So Sam is getting you a big TV star for peanuts.

Sweetie, honey, tell Mr. Chips

'we'd like to see him in here, okay?'

[instrumental music]

How about that? We're gettin' Mr. Chips.

- Who's he? - What do you mean, "Who's he?"

He's, uh, he's..

[chuckles]

Like Sam said, a big TV star.

And here he is now.

Oh, Fred, he isn't so big.

Gee, I don't know what to say, Sammy.

Say it's charity, sweetheart.

When you get a big star who will work

for peanuts salary-wise.

(Fred) 'Well, uh, um, uh, what's his act?'

Uh, he's a method actor, Fred.

- Strictly method. - 'But what's that mean?'

'Give us some method acting, Chips, baby.'

[yawning]

(Barney) 'Hey, those method actors sure can act.'

[laughing]

He, he's got me thinking he's a chimpanzee.

(Fred) 'He is a chimpanzee.'

And his act would make my wife look like a monkey.

Oh, what do you expect for the peanuts

you're spending, Fred?

'And, uh, uh, how much you got?'

35 peanuts, uh, uh, uh, dollars.

Sweetie, send in any old 35 buck routine you come across.

'Come on, Chips. I'll, uh, flip you for lunch.'

- But, Sam, what about-- - 'Your 35 bucks?'

Flintstone, I could book my mother-in-law

at the Laundromat for more than that.

So long, fellas.

Uh, so long, Sammy, baby, sweetheart.

Hey, that Sammy Stone is a true buddy-buddy, Fred.

That big phony. How do you figure?

Well, look, he's showing us some acts right at our price level.

Yeah. The bargain basement.

[instrumental music]

(Barney) 'It's, uh, different, Fred.'

'Very different.'

(Fred) 'Next!'

[instrumental music]

boing

(Barney) 'Hey, uh, Fred, I think she likes you.'

(Fred) 'Next!'

[instrumental music]

? All the kids in showbiz know Sammy Sammy ?

? You're the guy who makes the dough ?

? Sam Stone Agency ?

? With generosity ?

? You kindly take our fee ?

? At ten percent we'll play a tent ?

? For the Sam Stone Agency ??

[laughs] Well?

(Fred) 'N-e-e-ext!'

Pretty nifty, huh, Fred?

[laughing]

[laughs] Yeah, too nifty for the Ladies Auxiliary. Next.

Would one of you gentlemen assist me in my act?

Oh, a magic act, huh?

He's gonna make me disappear or something.

Anything you want me to tell Wilma

in case he can't bring you back?

[laughing]

Hey, what kind of magic act do you call this?

Yeow!

Watch it there, Charlie!

I bruise easily!

Stop it, Fred, please! You're making me dizzy!

(Fred) Stop what? I'm not doing anything.

Hey!

crash

- What do you think, Fred? - Definitely not.

Let's get outta here, Barney. We're wastin' our time.

"Fred, sweetheart, baby

Sam is gettin' you a big TV star."

Oh, that Hollyrock phony.

I've seen better talent in a zoo.

Oh, gee, Fred, uh, what're you going to tell Wilma?

The truth, what else?

What you usually tell her, a story.

No, Barney, no, I'm simply gonna walk in and say

"Wilma, I did my best but I failed.

I did not get an act for your show."

Are you sure you wanna do that?

Of course. What can she do, sue me?

No, but don't say I didn't tell you so

when Wilma says, "I told you so."

Hi, Fred.

Well, I told you so.

You told me what?

That you can't hire a star for $35.

(Fred) 'You're dead sure I failed today, aren't you, Wilma?'

(Wilma) 'Fred, even you can't do the impossible.'

Oh, your confidence in me is very touching.

Remember when you invested in that novelty pajamas company?

It could have made us millionaires.

(Wilma) 'Instead, we wound up with no money.'

'And a hundred pairs of pajamas that glowed in the dark.'

Enough, Wilma!

But I still had confidence in you

even when you traded our car

for all that oil stock..

'...and then found that you'd bought two olive trees.'

(Fred) 'Wilma, I'm warnin' you!'

Next.

There are many things you can do, Fred.

But negotiating big deals isn't one of them.

Is that so?

Well, what do you think of this, Mrs. Doubtful Thomas?

- I got your act! - Fred, you're kidding!

'It's the biggest act anywhere'

'and, and it won't cost you anything!'

It's, uh, free and, and gratis

and, and, uh, b-besides, i-it's, it's for nothin'.

I can't believe it! Who is it, Fred? Who?

Well, it's, uh, uh..

...i-i-it's a surprise!

But I'll have to put it on the tickets and everything.

Who is it?

Uh...I'll, I'll tell you after dinner.

I, I got to relax first.

Oh, how could I have doubted you, you wonderful man?

Mwah.

- You did it! - Yeah.

Me and my big mouth did it.

'I can't imagine who you got.'

Neither can I.

Stall for time, Fred. You got to think!

What did you say, Fred?

'I said, uh-uh, I'm thirsty, uh, bring me a drink.'

[clapping on TV]

Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Tonight, we have a really big show.

And to start off with a bang

we bring you that boy with the twang.

Here's your water, Fred.

Now tell me who you got.

Come on, Fred. Who is it, please?

Quiet, Wilma. I'm relaxing.

squeak

Here he is, folks.

The sensational, the incomparable..

...Rock Roll!

[crowd clapping]

(male 2) 'And his hit record "The Twitch."'

[instrumental music]

? There's a town I know where the hipsters go ?

? Called Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? When you get an itch ?

? Then you do the Twitch in Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? 'Cause the twitching's fine ?

? Have yourself a time ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

Fred, I want to know now!

? Well we'll twist around the clock tonight ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? And Rock is gonna roll ?

? With all his might ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? It's a swingin' town ?

? So I'll see you down ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch yeah yeah ??

- 'Fred, who did you get?' - Him! That's who!

I-I got Rock Roll to come perform at your show!

Now will you get off my back?

Fred, what did you say?

Yeah. What did I say?

Oh, Fred, say it again.

I got Rock Roll to perform at your show.

Oh, boy!

[instrumental music]

I thought you were gonna tell Wilma the truth, Fred.

- I was. - So what happened?

She hit me with a fast "I told you so"

and I was obliged to defend myself with the Rock Roll story.

Oh, that's terrible. What are you gonna do?

The honorable thing, of course.

Sneak out of town.

And leave Wilma holdin' the bag?

- Fred, you wouldn't. - No, no, I guess not.

She can come with me.

Old buddy, I can see you're all tied up in knots.

Eh, let's go get a massage.

Good idea, Barn.

[instrumental music]

Now, uh, just relax, Fred

and we'll find a calm, sensible way outta this.

Right, right. Aah.

Calm and sensible.

Uh, we know Rock Roll is in town on a tour, right?

Calm and sensible. Aah. That's right.

Okay, calm and sensible like

we go to his hotel and kidnap him.

Right.

We kidnap Rock Roll.

Uh, kidnap him?

What's the matter with you, Barney?

Well, how else can you get him?

Oh, I don't know.

How about me tryin' to hypnotize him?

- Gee, Fred, could you? - Ooh, sure, Barney.

I'd simply look him in the eye

and tell him my problem

and, uh, ask him to help me out.

Okay, let's go.

Are you kiddin'?

You can't walk in on a star like Rock Roll

and ask him to perform for free.

I didn't mean to walk in

but, uh, maybe if we go in on our knees

crying a little, what can we lose?

[Fred and Barney crying]

Hey, Mr. Flintstone, Mr. Rubble

y'all can get off your knees now.

I'll do it!

[Fred and Barney crying]

'Come on, fellas. Quit your cryin'.'

I said the answer's yes!

Did, did you hear that, Barney?

He said yes.

You mean you'll perform

at my wife's show for nothing?

Sure enough. Yeah.

(Fred) 'Oh, Mr. Roll, you don't know what this means'

and I don't know how to thank you.

Great day in the morning, man.

I know how 'tis.

Got me a little gal never stops jawing sunup to sundown.

- Barney-boy, he said yes! - He sure enough did.

[laughing]

Besides, it's a chance to try out my new song

in front of a audience.

clack clack clack

Hey there, fella.

(Roll) 'That's my career you're fussing with.'

Y'all better clear out now, hear?

(Rock) 'How do you like this, boys?'

I'm what you might call a hardtop convertible.

[all laughing]

'Hoo-whee, fellas!'

I laughed myself up an appetite.

(Rock) 'Come on, let's have somethin' to eat.'

Man, I do dearly love my food.

'Say, you eat pretty good yourself, Mr. Flintstone.'

'You remind me of my daddy.'

'Folks called him Plump Pa.'

What a coincidence.

Folks call Mr. Flintstone here Fat Fred!

Uh, don't they, Mr. Flintstone?

[laughing]

[both laughing]

[Rock gagging]

Get this stuff away from me!

[babbling] Quick!

[babbling]

Aachoo!

[panting]

- Oh, that's better. - Hey, w-w-what's wrong, Rock?

Pickled dodo eggs.

[sniffles] I'm allergic to 'em.

No foolin'?

If I just smell 'em, I sneeze.

[sniffs]

Oh, but if I eat any pickled dodo eggs..

...hoo-oo-whee, I lose my voice completely.

Can't talk or sing for days.

Oh, that's too bad.

Oh, no, it ain't bad at all.

It's pickled dodo eggs got me $2 million

my own recording company

three houses, two cars

an airyplane, and I'm a star.

All that from pickled dodo eggs?

How come?

Well, boys, 'bout a year ago

I was playing my guitar for a school dance, see

when somebody gave me a pickled dodo-egg sandwich.

Man, I started sneezin'

and itchin' and jumpin' around

like a horny-toad frog on a hot stove.

[instrumental music]

Feller saw me..

...figured it was the twitchin' was my act

and hired me for his nightclub.

So that's how you started, "The Twitch?"

All two million bucks' worth of it?

From an allergy?

Hey, maybe that's why we're not rich, Fred.

Eh, the worst we can get are simple head colds.

Barney, just being allergic ain't enough.

You got to have talent.

As Rock will prove at the Ladies Auxiliary show.

- 'Right, Rock?' - Well, I aim to try.

And here's the song I'm gonna sing at your show.

It's one I just recorded.

[instrumental music]

? Sowbelly pot of beans ?

? Tie a rope around your jeans ?

? Tell your mom not to wait ?

? You ain't gettin' home till late ?

? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ?

? We're gonna twitch ?

? There's a town I know where the hipsters go ?

? Called Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? When you get an itch ?

? Then you do the twitch ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? 'Cause the twitching's fine ?

? Have yourself a time ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

Hey, a song about our town.

? Well we'll twist around the clock tonight ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? And Rock is gonna roll ?

? With all his might ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? It's a swingin' town ?

? So I'll see you down ?

? In Bedrock twitch twitch ?

? Yeah yeah ??

Come on, fellas! Get with it!

'That's right, Mr. Rubble!'

Hey, you ought to try this twitchin', Fred.

- It's fun. - 'Join in, Mr. Flintstone!'

Well, it's a little tricky

but, uh, I'll try.

[music continues]

You sure you made two million bucks doin' this?

I swear on my gold record I did!

Boy, this sure beats hauling rocks!

screech

Gee, Betty, are you as excited as I am?

And how!

Oh, the show is a complete sellout. Thanks to Fred.

(Fred) 'Think nothing of it, girls.'

No trouble.

[laughs]

All it took was--

Some cryin', beggin' and pleadin'.

[laughing]

Come on, let's go to our seats.

Ah, you girls go ahead. We'll meet you there.

Yeah, we promised to help out with the lights.

(Wilma) 'Alright, boys, but hurry.'

[instrumental music]

I wish Rock would get here.

Why's he so late?

Easy, Fred. He'll get here.

Everybody in Bedrock must be out there.

Boy, imagine all those people waiting for one guy.

His public.

Oh, you got a public, Fred.

You got me and Wilma and Betty.

That's not a public. That's a bridge game.

What's keepin' Rock?

Where's Fred and Barney?

Gee, they'd better be starting the show.

This audience is getting restless.

He's not in there. He's not out here. Where is he?

Relax, Fred. He'll be here any..

[car honking]

Hey, there's Rock's car.

And there's Rock.

Hurry up, Rock. Hurry up.

The whole town's waiting for you

to get out there and twitch.

Huh? What do you mean "No?"

B-B-Barney, w-w-what's eating this guy?

I think the question is, Fred

"What's this guy been eatin'?"

(Fred) 'Oh, it-it begins with an O'

'and, a-a-and has wings?'

'You, uh, you ate an owl?'

(Barney) 'Uh, no, uh, no, Fred.'

'It begins with a do.'

'Uh, he ate a doughnut. Hey, I got it.'

'He ate a doughnut hole.'

'Uh, with, uh, wings?'

(Fred) 'Oh, brother.'

'Am I ever in a pickle!'

You mean you're in a pickle too?

No, Fred. The pickle's in him.

Oh, no!

You mean, pickled dodo-bird eggs?

You ate some by mistake?

[babbling]

Oh, Rock, you can't sing!

I'm finished! I'm through!

Barney, Barney, he can't sing!

What will I do?

twang

Huh? Huh, what's all this stuff?

It, uh, looks like Rock's costume

his guitar, and his record, Fred.

Oh, oh, oh! I get it!

You go out on the stage in his costume

and make your mouth match Rock's recording.

- Right, Rock? - Hold it, Rock!

I can't get away with this!

[whistles]

Rock, come back! I-I-I get stage fright!

Come on, Fred. Your public is waiting.

swoosh

(Fred) 'I can't do it, Barney. I'm, I'm scared stiff.'

That crowd wants Rock Roll, not Fat Fred.

They'll never know the difference, Fred.

All those people out there now belong to you.

They're your public, all yours.

My, m-m-my, my public?

[chuckles]

Yes. How about that?

I got my own private public.

Here he is, folks!

The sensational..

...the one and only..

...Rock Roll!

(male 3) 'In person!'

[crowd cheering]

I don't want my public!

Send them home! Send me home!

I'm scared!

Freddy-boy, I hate to do this to you, but..

(Fred) 'Y-e-e-eow!'

swish

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental music]

? There's a town I know where the hipsters go ?

? Called Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? When you get an itch ?

? Then you do the twitch ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? 'Cause the twitching's fine ?

? Have yourself a time ?

? In Bedrock twitch twitch ?

- He's exciting! - He's marvelous!

He's Fred.

- Fred? - Fred?

? ...the clock tonight ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? And Rock is gonna roll ?

? And Rock is gonna roll ?

? And Rock is gonna roll ?

? And Rock is gonna roll ?

? And Rock is gonna roll ?

? And Rock is gonna roll ?

toing toing

Sorry. Ha ha!

Must have dozed off.

[instrumental music]

? Well we'll twist around the clock tonight ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? And Rock is gonna roll ?

? With all his might ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ?

? It's a swingin' town ?

? So I'll see you down ?

? In Bedrock ?

? Twitch twitch ??

[music continues]

thud thud

[crowd cheering]

[whistles]

The most exciting act in show business, folks!

Let's hear it for Rock Roll!

Gee, Wilma, I can't get over

how Fred saved the show last night.

I know. Wasn't he marvelous?

And you know what?

He won't let me tell anyone.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

This morning, he told me to forget the whole thing.

- No fooling? - He's so modest.

He says anyone could've done it, anyone at all.

[instrumental music]

? Sowbelly and a pot of beans ?

? Tie that rope.. ?

Wilma, what's that awful noise?

I don't know.

But it sounds like someone's had an accident.

? Twitch twitch ?

? There's a town I know where the hipsters go ?

? Called Bedrock ?

? Ooh baby baby baby ?

(Wilma) 'Fred!'

? Baby baby ba.. ??

Hello, Wilma.

Fred, what are you wearing?

What are you doing?

Why are you home from work?

I quit my job, Wilma.

- You what? - I quit.

Anyone can lug boulders around a rock quarry.

But, Fred, you've worked so hard to get ahead.

(Fred) 'Exactly, and I'm through with working hard.'

I'm goin' into show business.

(Wilma) 'Oh, no.'

You saw me last night, sweetheart, baby.

I was one sensational smasharoonie.

'So I'm gonna be a star.'

'Even picked the name of my first record album.'

"Fatty Fred Flintstone Sings You Music to Twitch By."

You like it?

(Betty and Wilma) 'Fatty Fred Flintstone?'

It'll be stuff like this.

[instrumental music]

? There's a town I know where the hipsters go ?

[howls]

? Baby baby baby ?

? Baby baby baby ?

Hand them over, Dino. Ladies first.

That includes me.

? Okay baby baby ?

? Be-ba-ba-ba-be-be baby baby ?

? Baby baby ?

? Baby baby ?

? Oh the town called Bedrock where you twitch and twitch ??

[theme song]

? Flintstones meet the Flintstones ?

? They're the modern Stone Age family ?

? From the town of Bedrock ?

? They're a page right out of history ?

? Someday maybe Fred will win the fight ?

? Then that cat will stay out for the night ?

? When you're with the Flintstones ?

? Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ?

? A dabba-doo time ?

? We'll have a gay old time ?

? We'll have a gay old time ??

Wilma!